Chamblee54

In Hot Water Over

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on August 24, 2020


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@chamblee54 It is tough to take @Eric_Alterman seriously after this gem “most of the lies were told for one of two reasons one was because of the country’s commitment to white supremacy” His lips were moving when he said that @JohnHMcWhorter @bloggingheads ~ @chamblee54 his lips were moving again “is it true that thomas jefferson had a romantic relationship with sally heming no he he raped her because you can’t have a romantic relationship with a slave” ~ pictures today for this boring edition are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah

Wheel Of Life

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on August 23, 2020

Apostrophe Wipes His Feet

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on August 22, 2020

Coat Of Many Colors

Posted in Library of Congress, Music by chamblee54 on August 21, 2020








PG saw a story, and thought about the song, “Coat of many colors”. The b side was by Porter Wagoner, “Coat of many sequins”. COMC is about a woman who is too poor to buy her little girl a coat at the store, so she makes a quilt. The other kids make fun of her, but little Dolly knows that the coat is really made of love.
The song talks about a story in the Bible. PG had heard about the story, but didn’t remember the details. He must have been daydreaming in Sunday School when that story was taught. With the help of google, Genesis 37 appears, as if by magic. Pass the popcorn.

2 These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age:
and he made him a coat of many colours.
4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

Ok, hold on for a minute. Israel had at least two wives. The Biblical definition of marriage must be between a man and two women.
The story gets a bit weird here. Joseph has this dream, where he becomes the boss hog brother. The other brothers decide something needs to be done, that Joseph needs to die. Reuben tries to help Joseph, and has a plan to save him. Joseph is stripped of the coat of many colors, and placed in a pit, with no water. Before Reuben can sneak Joseph out of the pit, a camel caravan comes by. Twenty pieces of silver change hands, and Joseph is sold into slavery. The brothers decide to pull a cover up, and make it look like Joseph was dead. Reuben made another sandwich.

31 And they took Joseph’s coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood;
32 And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said,
This have we found: know now whether it be thy son’s coat or no.
33 And he knew it, and said, It is my son’s coat; an evil beast hath devoured him;
Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.
34 And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.
35 And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted;
and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.

This feature was originally posted in 2012. The pictures are from The Library of Congress.







Imbecile Power

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on August 20, 2020

The Gift Of Cultural Appropriation

Posted in Library of Congress, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on August 19, 2020

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This is a repost from 2015. There is a tasteful video on the innertubes today, WTF is Cultural Appropriation. This is not about WTF Podcast. Hopefully Marc Maron will not wear his hair in dreadlocks. The video shows a black man, jumping around in front of the camera, sharing his ideas about cultural appropriation.

Perhaps we should summarize what ‏@the1janitor has to say. He does not give a shit what people do with their hair. (Does he gift wrap the shit when he does give it?) T1J is not concerned over whether Iggy Azalea sings rap songs. Most culture today is a mix of influences, and T1J is cool with that. This chill does not extend to a pro football team in Hyattsville MD, whose nickname rhymes with munchkins. T1J, aka Kevin Peterson, does not think that is appropriate.

T1J wears dreadlocks. Many Amerikans see this hairstyle as connected to the Rastafarians in Jamaica. T1J is not a rasta, but is not accused of any appropriative wrongdoing by wearing his hair in dreadlocks. It seems the reason for this acceptance is his African American origin.

This is similar to the situation with BHO. The half white POTUS was raised by white people in Hawaii and Indonesia. And yet, because he has dark skin, BHO is unquestioningly accepted as a black man. The POTUS uses the style of black culture that he learned as an adult. When a white fool shoots up a black church, BHO goes to a funeral, sings “Amazing Grace,” and is praised.

Many of these cultural and racial debates are very shallow. Judgements are made on outside appearances, rather than the real person under the skin. The dream of people not “judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” has turned into a nightmare of petty wrangling over white privilege and cultural appropriation.

So much for content. What caught PG’s eye was the background. There is a Crimson Tide poster on the wall, behind the speaker, that seemed familiar. PG has seen T1J before, in a video titled Why I Disagree With Morgan Freeman. T1J says we need to talk about racism, then talk some more, and then talk more after that. The word listen is not used as often.

The University of Alabama football team poster is an ironic touch. NCAA football teams are highly exploitative of young people. The young men who play work long hours for their education. Many of the football players are rushed through school, taking easy classes so they will be eligible to play. Many of these young men will suffer crippling injuries playing a contact sport. Meanwhile, these football programs are hugely profitable for the institution, especially at a football factory like the University of Alabama. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. The men in the seven photographs below were members of The Tuskegee Airmen

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The Funeral Of Elvis

Posted in GSU photo archive, History, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on August 18, 2020


This is a repost. PG was going to write about some depressing subject. People that are not kind to each other. People in Israel and people in Gaza just don’t seem to get along. Somebody driving a “faded red F-150 pickup truck” in Livonia MI was mean to a little girl. (HT to Neo Prodigy.) Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.

There is a saying, “if a story seems too bad to be true, it probably isn’t”. PG tried to google that phrase, and got confused. Then he seemed to remember reading it in a column by Molly Ivins. Another google adventure, and there was this video. Miss Ivins, who met her maker January 31, 2007, was promoting a book. She sat down with a bald headed man to talk about it. PG could only listen to 24:30 of this video before being seized with the urge to write a story. There is a transcript, which makes “borrowing” so much easier. This film has 34 minutes to go, which just might yield another story.

Molly Ivins was a Texas woman. These days there is a lot of talk about Texas, with Governor Big Hair aiming to be the next POTUS under indictment. Mr. Perry claims that his record as Texas Governor qualifies him to have his finger on the nuclear trigger. Miss Ivins repeats something that PG has heard before…
“in our state we have the weak governor system, so that really not a great deal is required of the governor, not necessarily to know much or do much. And we’ve had a lot of governors who did neither. “ It makes you wonder how much of that “economic miracle” is because of hair spray.
Texas politics makes about as much sense as Georgia politics. For a lady, with a way with words, it is a gold mine.
“the need you have for descriptive terms for stupid when you write about Texas politics is practically infinite. Now I’m not claiming that our state Legislature is dumber than the average state Legislature, but it tends to be dumb in such an outstanding way. It’s, again, that Texas quality of exaggeration and being slightly larger than life. And there are a fair number of people in the Texas Legislature of whom it could fairly be said, `If dumb was dirt, they would cover about an acre.’ And I’m not necessarily opposed to that. I’m–agree with an old state senator who always said that, `If you took all the fools out of the Legislature, it would not be a representative body anymore.'”
We could go through this conversation for a long time, but you probably want to skip ahead and look at pictures. There is one story in this transcript that is too good not to borrow. For some reason, Molly Ivins went to work for The New York Times, aka the gray lady. In August of 1977, she was in the right place at the right time.


Mr. LAMB: And how long did you spend with The New York Times as a reporter?
Ms. IVINS: Six years with The New York Times. Some of it in New York as a political reporter at City Hall in Albany and then later as bureau chief out in the Rocky Mountains.
Mr. LAMB: Would you take a little time and tell us about reporting on the funeral of Elvis Presley?
Ms. IVINS: Oh, now there is something that when I’ve been standing in the checkout line at the grocery store and if I really need to impress people, I just let fall that I covered Elvis’ funeral. And, boy, people just practically draw back with awe. It may yet turn out to be my greatest claim to fame.
I was sitting in The New York City Times one day when I noticed a whole no–knot of editors up around the desk having a–a great scrum of concern, you could tell. It looked sort of like an anthill that had just been stepped on. And it turns out–The New York Times has a large obituary desk, and they prepare obituaries for anybody of prominence who might croak. But it turns out–you may recall that Elvis Presley died untimely and they were completely unprepared.
Now this is an enormous news organization. They have rock music critics and classical music critics and opera critics, but they didn’t have anybody who knew about Elvis Presley’s kind of music. So they’re lookin’ across a whole acre of reporters, and you could see them decide, `Ah-ha, Ivins. She talks funny. She’ll know about Mr. Presley.’
So I wound up writing Elvis’ obituary for The New York Times. I had to refer to him throughout as Mr. Presley. It was agonizing. That’s the style at The New York Times–Mr. Presley. Give me a break. And the next day they sold more newspapers than they did after John Kennedy was assassinated, so that even the editors of The New York Times, who had not quite, you know, been culturally aton–tuned to Elvis, decided that we should send someone to report on the funeral. And I drew that assignment. What a scene it was.
Mr. LAMB: You–you say in the book that you got in the cab and you said, `Take me to Graceland.’ The cabbie peels out of the airport doing 80 and then turns full around to the backseat and drawls, `Ain’t it a shame Elvis had to die while the Shriners are in town?’
Ms. IVINS: That’s exactly what he said. `Shame Elvis had to die while the Shriners are in town.’ And I kind of raised by eyebrows. And sure enough, I realized what he–what he meant after I had been there for awhile because, you know, Shriners in convention–I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a whole lot of Shriners in convention, but they were having a huge national convention that very week in Memphis. And they tend to wear their little red fezzes, and sometimes they drink too much and they march around the hotel hallways tooting on New Year’s Eve horns and riding those funny little tricycles and generally cutting up and having a good time. That’s your Shriners in convention, always something very edifying and enjoyable to watch. But they–every–every hotel room in Memphis was occupied with celebrating Shriners, and then Elvis dies and all these tens of thousands of grieving, hysterical Elvis Presley fans descend on the town.
So you got a whole bunch of sobbing, hysterical Elvis fans, you got a whole bunch of cavorting Shriners. And on top of that they were holding a cheerleading camp. And the cheerleading camp–I don’t know if your memory–with the ethos of the cheerleading camp, but the deal is that every school sends its team–team of cheerleaders to cheerleading camp.
And your effort there at the camp is to win the spirit stick, which looks, to the uninitiated eye, a whole lot like a broom handle painted red, white and blue. But it is the spirit stick. And should your team win it for three days running, you get to keep it. But that has never happened. And the way you earn the spirit stick is you show most spirit. You cheer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You cheer when the pizza man brings the pizza. You do handsprings end over end down the hallway to the bathroom. I tell you, those young people will throw–show an amount of spirit that would just astonish you in an effort to win that stick.
So here I was for an entire week, dealing with these three groups of people: the young cheerleaders trying to win the spirit stick, the cavorting Shriners and the grieving, hysterical Elvis fans. And I want to assure you that The New York Times is not the kind of newspaper that will let you write about that kind of rich human comedy.
Mr. LAMB: Why?
Ms. IVINS: Because The New York Times, at least in my day, was a very stuffy, pompous newspaper.
Mr. LAMB: What about today?
Ms. IVINS: A little bit better, little bit better than it was.
Mr. LAMB: And…
Ms. IVINS: Has–has–it has a tendency, recidivist tendencies, though. You–you will notice if you read The Times, it–it collapses into pomposity and stuffiness with some regularity.
Mr. LAMB: Why did you leave it?
Ms. IVINS: Well, I–I actually got into trouble at The New York City Times for describing a community chu–chicken killing out West as a gang pluck. Abe Rosenthal was then the editor of the Times and he was not amused.
Mr. LAMB: Did–but did they let it go? Did they let it…
Ms. IVINS: Oh, no. It never made it in the paper. Good heavens, no. Such a thing would never get in The Times in my day.
POSTSCRIPT PG found some pictures, marked up the text, and was ready to post the story. He decided to listen to a bit more of the discussion between Molly Ivins and the bald headed man. When he got to this point, it became apparent that he could listen to Molly Ivins talk, or he could post his story, but he could not do both at the same time.
Ms. IVINS: Oh, well, of course, I’m gonna make fun of it. I mean, Berkeley, California, if you are from Texas, is just hilarious.
Mr. LAMB: Why?
Ms. IVINS: Well, of course, it is just the absolute center of liberalism and political correctness. And it is a veritable hotbed of people, of–bless their hearts, who all think alike, in a liberal way. And, of course, I’m sometimes called a liberal myself, and you would think I would have felt right at home there. But I just am so used to–I’m so used to Texas that I found the culture at Berkeley hysterical.

Only Has Itself To Blame

Posted in Library of Congress, Weekly Notes by chamblee54 on August 17, 2020


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The letter from our CEO does not reflect the views of all staff members at PRX.
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@chamblee54@yourpaljonathan @TheTruthFiction @evantessuraea @rvanroon @HelenZaltzman @radiotopia I never did find the infamous @prx racism letter. I did find a thread by @freepublicradio The first grievance mentioned is that someone touched the lady’s hair. ~ @chamblee54 @natsecHeather has the background thing down Other @bloggingheads should take note A clean, uncluttered background is way to go We know you read a lot, you don’t have to show us books @robertwrighter @natsecHeather gets points for having cHeat in middle of her handle ~ @chamblee54 I had to pause @bloggingheads for some forgotten reason ~ I caught this moment @natsecHeather is rattling on. What she says is on point, but there is so much of it to absorb. @robertwrighter bravely tries to take it all in, but he clearly has the TMI tiredness in his eyes ~ PRX is a non profit that works in facilitating podcasts and public radio programming. Many of their shows are very good. Unfortunately, they had some internal problems recently. A disgruntled employee sent a byebye letter that was leaked to the public. In the post-scandal pearl clutching, a how-can-we-do-better survey went out. Here is one of the questions: For current donors/financial supporters: How much would you be willing to increase your current pledge if PRX makes necessary changes to address its white supremacy culture? ~ I got dragged into this by The Truth retweeting a comment about the letter. I asked to see a copy of the letter, and received insulting replies by Helen Zaltzman. Finally, I saw a tweet summarizing the letter. The first issue raised was the hair touching incident. I have not quit laughing yet. I enjoy your programming. However, to get dragged into another controversy does not increase my enjoyment of your fine programming. Then I hear that this is largely because a malcontent employee got her hair touched. To go into a white savior frenzy over this makes you look like a bunch of sjw idiots. ~ Here is a live stream from Stoned Mountain. Antifa was burning an American Flag, with the lighter fluid can next to it. Someone yelled to move the lighter fluid, and some Antifist moved it. Now, someone is going through the crowd with a megaphone, telling the crowd about Jesus. ~ pictures today are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah


PRX Racism Scandal Part Two

Posted in Library of Congress, Race, The Internet by chamblee54 on August 16, 2020


PRX Racism Scandal was featured at chamblee54 this past wednesday. It is about Palace Shaw, a young lady of color. Until recently, PRX employed Ms. Shaw. The employment ended badly. Ms. Shaw was not quiet about it. The alleged racism got the non profit agency a few minutes of unwanted attention. There is nothing like woke silliness for cheap amusement.

The bad boss letter featured complaints of hair touching, pay inequality, and insufficient concern over social issues. The hair touching incident was a purple prose classic: “… our CEO, Kerri Hoffman … saw me from outside working late at the Podcast Garage, and came in to touch my hair, put her fingers into my top bun, immediately after she commented on my “distinct profile.””

A white man, like PG, can be confused by hair touching hysteria. It might be more of a woman thing. PG has been told many times, in angry tones, never touch a black ladies hair. This is despite the fact that PG has absolutely zero desire to touch a black lady’s hair. Apparently, this is a big thing with black women. Palace Shaw left a $48k job, in large part because someone touched her hair.

Salary inequality is as old as working for wages. Sometimes it is justified, but usually it is not. Ms. Shaw mentions that co-workers, doing the same job, were paid more. The race of these co-workers is not specified. In the Podcast Garage website, staff pictures are displayed. (Ms. Shaw models the distinct profile.) The other “Community Manager” is Se’era Spragley Ricks, a lady of color.

“Everyone at PRX should know that each characteristic on the list of White Supremacy Culture Characteristics is fully expressed in the workplace …” The WSC document is curious. It lists many so-called sins of management. It is tough to see how exactly this becomes white supremacy. In fact, the WSC document states “Organizations that are people of color-led or a majority people of color can also demonstrate many damaging characteristics of white supremacy culture.” Does PRX express every characteristic on the list? Who knows.

Palace Shaw used to co-host a podcast. “The Whitest Cube is a podcast about the exclusionary history of art institutions from the perspective of people of color.” The motto: “Museums are really sensitive to critique. We decided we don’t care.” The show lasted seven episodes.

The PRX story is playing out. Top bun enthusiast Kerri Hoffman sent out a heartfelt letter, promising to do better. This prompted a reply, saying this is not good enough. There was also a survey sent out, to anyone who cared to participate. One of the questions is a crowd pleaser: “For current donors/financial supporters: How much would you be willing to increase your current pledge if PRX makes necessary changes to address its white supremacy culture?”

Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. There is more to the PRX racism scandal story. part one part two part three part four

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Part Two

Posted in Library of Congress, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on August 15, 2020


Part Two of the 2020 chamblee54 report on The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is here. Part one is there. Pictures for this affair are from The Library of Congress.

In Gertrude’s experience lovemaking was always bittersweet, or at least it had been until one fateful night when Chaz, the seductive man behind the concession stand blessed her with the salty-sweet bliss reminiscent of both true romance and quality kettle corn.
Julie Winspear, Washington, D.C.

Gasping for breath as she lay in the dew-laden lakeside grass, Rifka Lieberman’s chest heaved with rising passion as Saul Cohen approached with the inhaler she had left behind at the assisted living facility. Leo Gordon, Los Angeles, CA

Farmer Bob, unlucky in love and life in general, received yet another Dear John letter, this time from Bubbles Magaggaggey, the last blind woman in town, so here he was, alone and penniless; so penniless, in fact, that he neglected to make the payments on his tractor and soon received a John Deere letter, coincidentally from Bubbles, who ran the Tractor Emporium.
DJ Hicks, Jr., Manchester, NJ

The quantum flux field of the post-Einsteinian hyperdrive has gone asymptotically and we are in danger of approaching singularity as described by the Schrodinger equations!” cried Captain Quirke, having no clue what he said, only knowing it sounded sciencey, secretly crossing his fingers behind his back and hoping there were no physicists reading because he didn’t want any pedantic letters saying it was nonsense. Sue Doenim, England

As the angry mob of poets filled the National Mall, a group of sonneteers and ballad-mongers surged toward the Capitol Building, but it wasn’t until the Japanese poem enthusiasts stormed the White House that I realized this was a genuine haiku d’etat. Bart King, Portland, OR

As sheriff, I had handled most of the Dwarf gang, having shot Sleepy, Bashful and Sneezy, strung up Grumpy and Dopey and disemboweled Happy, but Doc, since you got away, I’m sending Happy’s entrails to you, until we meet again. Arlen Feldman, Colorado Springs, CO

As Professor Quinter surveyed his students, his gaze was drawn to their scrappy sets of cookware and their bemused faces staring stupidly at the history professor’s presentation on Carthage, and with a sigh, Quinter realized that the students had misread the day’s agenda, which was “Hannibal Lecture. Savannah Carmichael, St. Charles, MO

She swept into the ballroom, expensively dressed, coiffed, and bejeweled, her opulent display most obviously done for the same reason that a baboon has a red butt, both saying, “Pay attention to me!” Jack Ciotti, The Villages, FL

“Dilly, Dilly,” Nelda sobbed, “Tell me you still care, Dilly,” as his blood spurted rhythmically onto her freshly-starched, pink pinafore—the one given to her on her 16th birthday by her maternal grandmother, Nana Gertrude, the one she had worn the previous Sunday to the witch dunking, the one she swore never to stain— which was now permanently stained, but she mused that it didn’t matter since it was in the same color family. Pat DuVal, Arlington, VA

Her breasts heaving like the 50-pound sacks of grain thrown over the shoulders of sweaty dock workers, Karen stepped up to the counter and demanded to see the manager, as only a Karen would. John W. Engle III, Houston, TX

Having lost part of her left ear while working in a circus knife-throwing act during the summer between her junior and senior years, Karen felt all the more reassured about her decision to major in statistics, but she couldn’t help but to ponder the probability of regaining physical symmetry were she to return to the circus for one more summer after she graduated. Steve Cormier, Slatington, PA

She Always Carries Jonquils

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive by chamblee54 on August 14, 2020






PG found Archival Atlanta: Electric Street Dummies, the Great Stonehenge Explosion, Nerve Tonics, and Bovine Laws : Forgotten Facts and Well-Kept Secrets from Our City’s Past at the Chamblee library. There are always more stories to be heard. This repost has pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. It is written like Margaret Mitchell.

In the 1840s, the Western and Atlantic railroad wanted to hook up with the Central of Georgia railroad. The spot for the meeting was called Terminus. One idea was to name the town for William Lumpkin, a former Georgia Governor and a railroad executive. Lumpkinville sounded bad in the mouth, and the new town was named “Marthasville”, after the daughter of the Governor. (Martha is buried in Oakland Cemetery.) Few people liked this name, and someone decided that the feminine form of Atlantic was Atlanta. Unlike the state flag, this is unlikely to change.

The new town prospered, and recovered from the unpleasantness of 1864. In 1875, there was a problem with stray cows. The answer was the “1875 Cow Ordinance”. The law required that cows be kept in a pen at night. A fine of two dollars was assessed for every stray cow that was caught.

About this time, there were a few very busy railroad tracks going through downtown. People were getting tired of waiting for the trains to go through. One by one, viaducts were built over the tracks, creating a forgotten ground floor. This was built up into Underground Atlanta in the sixties, which was red hot for a while, then cooled off, and is now so so.

In 1897, J.W. Alexander was the first person in town to own a “horseless carriage”. One day, he decided to take a ride to East Point. A mule objected, and kicked man and machine into a ditch.

It is a rule that all history books about Atlanta have to discuss Coca Cola and Gone With The Wind. There are only so many stories to go around. This book tells of an Alpharetta farmer who bought the Tara set from MGM. He stored in a barn, the location of which was a secret. Betty Talmadge wanted to buy it, and the price went from $375k to $5k. After a while, the sale was finalized. There was only one problem…the farmer died, and never told anyone where the barn was. Mrs. Talmadge got the money from her husband’s overcoat, went to Alpharetta, and found the barn. The set was moved into another secret location, where it was in 1996, when Archival Atlanta was published, at an undisclosed local location.

Sam and William Venable owned Stone Mountain, and had a quarry there. (The Ku Klux Klan held meetings on the mountain.) (The spell check suggestion for Ku Klux is Kook Klutz.) Sam built a large granite house at 1410 Ponce de Leon Avenue, and stocked it with ammunition. He thought a race war was on the way, and wanted to be prepared. One night, a chimney overheated. The roof caught on fire. The explosives in the attic exploded, and took the roof off. The house was repaired, Mr. Venable died, and the house became part of a Lutheran church.

One of the few ante bellum houses in Atlanta is near Grant Park. It was once owned by Lemuel Grant, who donated the land for the park. He stays in a large marble house in Oakland Cemetery now. The Grant Park house was purchased by Mr. and Mrs. John Marsh, in partnership with Boyd Eugene Taylor. After the death of Mrs. Marsh (also known as Margaret Mitchell), she was known to visit the house.
“Margaret just wanders through the house, looking things over. She never talks, and she always carries jonquils. The first night she came I was very shocked. I went out to her grave at Oakland Cemetery the next day. I’d never been to the house before. But I was almost certain of what I’d find. The plot is covered by a bed of jonquils.”






The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2020

Posted in Library of Congress, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on August 13, 2020


The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has announced the results of the 2020 competition. Every year, B-LFC solicits opening sentences for bad novels. The “winners” of this competition receive heartfelt condolences from all concerned. Chamblee54 uses B-LFC as an excuse for text to go between pictures every year, like this. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. There is a possibility of milking two posts out of this thing, in which case a link will be presented here.

As a “value added service,” chamblee54 compiles a list of noteworthy author names and locations. This years notables: Lisa Kluber, San Francisco, CA, DJ Hicks, Jr, Manchester, NJ, Jarrett Dement, Eau Claire, WI, Pete Zenz, Middleton, WI, Gideon Gordon, Boston, MA, Edward Covolo, Menlo Park, CA, Candy Mosely, Hydro, OK, Connie Kleinjans, Honolulu, HI, Sue Doenim, England, Gregory Feeley, Hamden, CT, Amy Torchinsky, Chapel Hill, NC, Jack Ciotti, The Villages, FL.

One of the contestants is from Georgia. Before the beginning God leaned forward from the Empyrean Throne and gazed at the heaps of OED fascicles littered in layers across the cloudy carpet, still uncertain just which Word was the perfect one with which to begin and seriously annoyed that She had decided to do the whole damn thing in English . . . Art Feenan, Kennesaw, GA

2020 Grand Prize Her Dear John missive flapped unambiguously in the windy breeze, hanging like a pizza menu on the doorknob of my mind. Lisa Kluber, San Francisco, CA

Sally loved Geoff so deeply that if he were a pirate on a dread pirate ship (and not an insurance adjuster), snarling and drinking, murdering and raping his way across the Caribbean (well, maybe not raping, it was the sentiment that counted) and he had a peg leg, she would have gladly sawed her own leg off and sewed it to his stump with silken threads, so he could dance again, holding her up since she was now a sudden amputee. David Lourne, Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

None of us, not a single jack-tar of the ten poor souls consigned to the only surviving None lifeboat from our torpedoed freighter, the “S.S. Walter Jacob,” the noblest vessel that ever hauled the weapons of war across the Seven Seas and back again, had a nickel’s worth of life insurance.
John Hardi, Falls Church, VA

As the large wild turkey soared over him, propelled by the twin blasts from David’s shotgun, Michael gazed up at the cornbread-colored sky and thought, “What a blessed day to be a Christian!” Ed Buhrer, Louisa, VA

As Charlotte meticulously finished her egg sac on the lonely rafter at the county fairgrounds, she thought about the future day when her children would burrow into Wilbur’s flesh to consume him from the inside-out, and hummed her favorite song about the wheel of life rolling on.
Robert Greer, Gilbert, AZ

Dorothy and Toto got kicked out of Kansas just before that group had several hits back in the day but at least Toto achieved some success with his band, while poor Dorothy, penniless and insane, lived under a bridge, prostituting herself and screaming about rainbows.
DJ Hicks, Jr, Manchester, NJ

When she walked into my office on that bleak December day, she was like a breath of fresh air in a coal mine; she made my canary sing. Yale Abrams, Santa Rosa, CA

She sauntered into his smoke-filled office with legs that, although they didn’t go quite all the way to heaven, definitely went high enough for him to see that she was a giraffe.
Jarrett Dement, Eau Claire, WI

The Bulgars (Bulgaris), a 17th century semi-nomadic Turkic tribe, are often unfairly compared to the Vulgars, who invented the leather bikini in honor of Princess Urskika from Pacific Palisades.
John Holmes, St. Petersburg, FL