Florence Foster Jenkins
Useless Information had a show, The Patron Saint of the Vocally Challenged. It tells the story of Florence Foster Jenkins. She had a wealthy father, and hired vocal coaches to try and produce a good singer. She became somewhat of a concert attraction, and sold out Carnegie Hall. Accompianist Cosme McMoon did what he could to help. Mrs Jenkins was, by all accounts, very, very bad.
Here is more information about the talent. “Florence Foster Jenkins (1868–26 November 1944) was an American soprano who became famous for her complete lack of singing ability. From her recordings, it is apparent that Jenkins had little sense of pitch and rhythm and was barely capable of sustaining a note. Her accompanist can be heard making adjustments to compensate for her tempo variations and rhythmic mistakes. Nonetheless, she became tremendously popular in her unconventional way. Her audiences apparently loved her for the amusement she provided rather than her musical ability. Critics often described her work in a backhanded way that may have served to pique public curiosity. Despite her patent lack of ability, Jenkins was firmly convinced of her greatness. She compared herself favourably to the renowned sopranos Frieda Hempel and Luisa Tetrazzini, and dismissed the laughter which often came from the audience during her performances as coming from her rivals consumed by “professional jealousy.””
A cd of her product, The Glory (????) of the Human Voice, is available. Amazonians were not kind. “This is a recording that every serious musician should own, for a variety of (ahem) reasons. But by all means, buy the cheap one. If the sound is better on the remastered version, it could only be more painful.” “she gets points for effort” ” I appreciate camp as much as anyone, but my wife was ready to divorce me if I played another song from the album” “The whole matter stinks of making fun of a person afflicted by illness. What a cruel species we were – and still are.”
The legend is that she said “People may say I can’t sing, but no one can ever say I didn’t sing.” A quick google search does not reveal the source, or context, so this quote cannot be verified. Quote Factory has this available in eleven tasteful designs.
The Carnegie Hall show took place a month before her death. Here is the story.
“In order for a singer to succeed, they need to have a combination of talent, charisma, and interpretive quality. And, by definition, they need to be able to sing. Florence Foster Jenkins had none of these attributes. In fact, she was considered one of the worst singers of all time. She was independently wealthy and performed at the Waldorf and other places around town. It became a thing to do. You had to go and listen to Florence Foster screw up every song she attempted to sing.
She was having a great time and the audience was having a great time, so they kept telling her, “You need to make your Carnegie Hall debut.” So on October 25, 1944, she did, and it was sold out in just two hours. They came from everywhere. She walked onstage in these ridiculous costumes that she’d made herself. She’d throw roses out into the audience, her assistants would go out and collect them, and she’d throw them out into the audience again. The audience would not let her go home. They cheered her and clapped, and one month and one day later she died at the age of 76.”
The program for this performance had a note from the Fire Commissioner, Patrick Walsh.
“FIRE NOTICE – Look around now and choose the nearest exit to your seat. In case of fire walk (not run) to that Exit. Do not try to beat your neighbor to the street.”
The last.fm page with the information on F. F. Jenkins lists “similar artists”. The only two we will have videos from are Wing and Mrs. Miller. Slim Whitman and Tiny Tim, being males, were not considered.
This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Carsick
It was the monday after easter. History does not record what Jesus did on this day. After being dead forty four hours, he probably needed to take a bath, and trim his fingernails.
In modern day Brookhaven, PG is celebrating by getting his auto emission inspection. With his birthday a few weeks away, this is a chore that needs to be done. Go to the mall parking lot, sit in the trailer waiting room a few minutes, and go on about your life.
Today is the first time PG has had to wait for service. Usually, you just drive up, stop at the appropriate spot, and let the man do his thing. While waiting in line, PG read the last page of Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America.
Its about time. The library checkout has already been renewed, and is due back in just over a week. The shame of taking five weeks to consume 322 pages of John Waters! This is not James Joyce, but the Divine Doodoo Dietician, the Pope of trash.
The first part of Carsick was covered in the tastefully titled Gagless Oscillation. The last part is reality, the way things really happened. Never say “John Waters” and “reality” in the same sentence.
Mr. Waters is hitchhiking from Baltimore to San Francisco. This was in 2012, before the bi-coastal bonding the two cities experienced in the 2013 Super Bowl. He gets stuck in Ohio, and Kansas, and wonders if he will make it out alive. There are several unlikely rides. If he had not been famous/notorious, this trip might not have gone so smoothly.
At one point Mr. Waters goes by the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, and thinks it is a fabulous sight. In 1979, PG woke up in a Trailways Bus, and saw the Arch across the street. PG thought it was the most disappointing landmark ever. People do not always agree.
As the plot winds down, Mr. Waters is standing outside a rest area. He claims to know, by facial expression, whether a traveler is going to shit, or piss, when he goes into the facility. The amount of time spent iniside allegedly holds to answer to this question. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Mrs. Fenton
There is a bit of urban legend mongering on the innertubes these days. It shows a letter. It is from the manager of a Kmart in Reno, NV. It tells “Mrs. Fenton” not to go shopping there anymore. It seems as though her husband has been misbehaving.
Here is the text of the letter. Mr. Fenton: August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-buy. October 4: Looked straight in to the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
The wet blankets at snopes say the letter is a fake. This page is sponsored by a book, Journey to the Cross: Reflecting on 24 Hours That Changed the World. You can’t make this stuff up.
Mrs. Fenton lived at 35 Rasmussen Street, Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503. Google maps has never heard of this address. Kmart Store 4855 was located at Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503. This is a side street, with no current signs of Kmarttage.
The letter is good for a laugh. The problems might come when some person is inspired to try one of the pranks. After all, an earlier title of the piece was “Things to do at Wal-Mart while your family is taking forever to finish shopping.” The person who has to clean up after “Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms” will not be amused. Maybe you should tell this person to lighten up, and get a sense of humor. Do not try this in a stand your ground state.
A similar lack of respect for humanity is seen in fake crime videos. In the one linked to, two men try breaking into a car. One is treated more rudely by the police. This video inspired much hand wringing about unfair treatment of minorities.
With all the real crimes being perpetrated, why are these pinheads staging a fake crime? They are making a video, to illustrate their social commentary. Police should be fighting real crime, not playing the bad guy in a youtube adventure. This makes about as much sense as “While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.”
This is a repost. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Dead Saturday 1973
It was dead saturday 1973, the day between good friday and easter. PG and his friend Gibson have traveled from Athens GA to Charlotte NC to see a rock concert. The plan was eight bands in a crowded football stadium. Jesus did not attend.
PG had never been to an outdoor concert, and had some ideas about how it would be. They were in the house early, and set up a blanket about thirty feet in front of the stage. For the first part of the day, the crowd stayed off their turf.
The first electric act was Brownsville Station. The first thing they did was encourage the audience to crowd in front of the stage, resulting in a mob scene for the rest of the day. BS played loud heavy metal, with a guitar/vocals guy painted like a clown. They were a three piece band that day, as their bass player had gotten a job selling furniture in Kansas. “Smokin in the Boys Room” was a hit for this ensemble later that year.
The concept of multiple stages had not hit North Carolina, and there was a long wait between acts. The next band was Mason Profit. “you are talking about boogie, you don’t know shit about boogie. By this time, the crowd was getting off on their downers, the sun was shining, and PG was out of water. It only got better as the day went on. The scheduled next act was Captain Beyond, but they canceled. The replacement was Marshall Tucker. They were good, but not really memorable.
The afternoon went on and on. Goose Creek Symphony came and went, followed by Wet Willie. WW had a routine where this pretty girl was walking down ___ street, which in Charlotte was Independence Boulevard. Eventually, the sun went down, and ZZ Top came on stage.
ZZ Top was the high point of the day. The beards were only about four inches long. They introduced one song, saying “this is something you might know about, song called beer drinkers and hell raisers”. They were the only band to do an encore, with “Francine”.
The next act was Mahavishnu Orchestra, which PG was convinced was the greatest band that ever lived. The stadium crowd was not conducive to their style, but they delivered a good show. John McLaughlin played a twin necked guitar, which PG found a bit disconcerting. The electric violin player, Jerry Goodman, was a stand out.
By the time MO finished, PG wanted to get away from the front of the stage. He took to wandering around the back of the stadium while the Allman Brothers played. The back of the house was full, although there was room to walk around. Before long, it was time to hit the road back to Georgia.
Pictures for this repost. are from The Library of Congress.
#MemoriesPizza
Just when you think it can’t get any stranger, the bosslady at Memories Pizza said, on tv, ““If a gay couple came in and wanted us to provide pizzas for their wedding, we would have to say no.” You might wonder how many gay weddings are going to go to a Michiana pizza parlor to get pepperoni deep dish for their commitment ceremony.
The fun got started when an internet prankster saw that the domain memoriespizza.com was available. This person made a fake web site, complete with soft core porn.
When you go there now, you see this text. “Don’t discriminate.(It’s not nice.) Also, in all seriousness, it’s really dumb to not own a domain name for your business. Especially after you spew stupid shit on TV. (And my web host started getting a lot of abuse reports, and I like them. So.)
The next strange thing to happen is “Jess Dooley a Concord High School golf, softball and basketball coach, was suspended hours after … tweet about arson.” “@dooley_11 Who’s going to Walkerton, IN to burn down #memoriespizza w me? Agree with #FreedomofReligion bill? “That’s a lifestyle they CHOOSE” Ignorant.”
That is one documented threat. By the time the internet heard about it, thousands had been alleged. Twitter was ablaze with snarky comments about tolerance and hypocrisy. The O’Connor’s chose to close Memories Pizza because of all these threats. They may not reopen. Just who is making all these threats? People who can’t serve pizza at their gay wedding?
Dana Loesch is a Glenn Beck associate. She took up the cause of the embattled pizza people. A gofundme page, Support Memories Pizza, was set up. “Purpose: To relieve the financial loss endured by the proprietors’ stand for faith. After you donate please go “like” and combat the leftist hatred expressed on Dana’s page.” The take after 16 hours: $106,545. Miss Dana is on top of the situation @DanaTheBlaze ALERT: Hackers are trying to crack our #MemoriesPizza #Gofundme password.
At least one twitter warrior is suspicious. @Bipartisanism The #MemoriesPizza story is a scam. On the brink of bankruptcy they drummed up phony outrage with GOP host @DLoesch & raised $$ on gofundme. Just why did a South Bend IN tv station go to a small town pizza joint for a televised interview anyway? Inquiring minds want to know. Pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Mike Pence And Lester Maddox
Salon posted a festive piece the other day. The headline: “Indiana’s Mike Pence is starting to look like Lester Maddox — without the spine.” What about the Governor’s breast, thigh, and wing?
Mr. Pence is the media punching bag of the moment. In a few days, someone else will screw up, and the nabbering classes can pick on someone else. The riffraff law will be lawyered out in the courts.
The question here is the connection to the former Georgia Governor. It turns out to be a rhetorical gimmick. In the first paragraph, author Joan Walsh essentially repeats the headline. “… even before Pence began to look like a 21st century Lester Maddox — without the spine.” This is the last time Lester is mentioned. He is used as a bald headed Honey Boo Boo.
We have gotten to the place where prejudice against perceived racists is enthusiastically accepted. It is the new McCarthyism, with guilt by association, and shadowy accusers. In an ironic touch, this new crusade is connected with homophobia. Here is a thought about that from a previous post.
Homophobia is compared to anti-racism. In both cases, the accuser has a set of standards. If the accused does not meet those standards, then the accused is considered fair game for abuse. The accused and the accuser may not agree on these standards. That does not matter. If someone wants to make the accusation, then they will, and will feel righteous about doing so.
It is frequently speculated that the homophobe is secretly gay. The need to be heard badmouthing gays stems from a perceived need to prove heterosexuality. Could this be the case with the anti racist? Maybe the anti-racist is secretly afraid that he/she might be a racist. The “calling out” of others, for perceived racism, is an effort to overcompensate for his/her own shortcomings.
Getting back to Lester, it is ironic that he is this famous forty four years after his term in office ended. There is no shortage of bad things to say about Mr. Maddox. However, Georgia survived having both him, and smiling Jimmy, as Governor. It is highly unlikely that anyone will know who this Pence person is in forty four years.
The second part of this feature is a previously published piece about Lester Maddox. PG was twelve when Lester was elected, and has many memories of the four years that followed. The post goes into some of the mixed feelings, and tells a couple of stories. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
There has never been a politician like Lester Garfield Maddox. He was elected Governor of Georgia (with help of a quirk in the state constitution) in 1966. PG was 12 at the time, and saw the spectacle of the next four years with amazement.
Before we get started on this, we should remember a couple of things. Lester Maddox became notorious when he shut down his restaurant, The Pickrick, rather than serve a black customer. He was a segregationist, which means he did not want black people to have the same rights as white people. Looking back for 2010, it seems incredible that civil rights legislation was needed 46 years ago, so that 30% of Georgia could eat in a restaurant. PG does not condone the actions and attitudes of Lester Maddox, or the people who supported him.
There is style, and there is substance. While the substance of Lester may have been horrible, the style was a sight to behold. He could ride a bicycle backwards, and did so whenever a crowd was there to watch. (PG saw this at halftime of the Peach Bowl.) He was on The Joe Pyne Show and The Dick Cavett Show, and walked off of both.
This section from a previous post tells a bit of the story.The Governor was speaking to a group of reporters. He was announcing the appointment of a Black man to a Selective Service Board.. The reporter said it was the first Black man to serve on a draft board since reconstruction. What did the Governor think about this?The Governor said “Gee”
The screen returned to the Channel Five newsroom. The men at the desks were all laughing. The weatherman looked up at the camera and said “That’s a tough act to follow”
Whatever you might say about Lester Maddox…and there is no shortage of bad things to say…there has never been a public official that entertaining. As for being a tough act to follow, the next Governor was Jimmy Carter. As for the weatherman, PG saw him in a parking lot once. It was raining heavily. The “Gray Ghost” looked at PG with an ironic smile, as if to say “I am sorry”. The weatherman, Guy Sharpe, is on the right in the picture below this post. He is signing a book.
In 1970, the Governor of Georgia could not succeed himself. Lester ran for Lt. Governor, and spent the next four years feuding with Governor Jimmy Carter. Lester ran for a second term in 1974, and was trounced by George Busbee. (The slogan : “Elect a work horse, not a show horse.”) When Jimmy ran for President in 1976, Lester made a point of badmouthing Jimmy. In his own way, Lester Maddox helped Jimmy Carter get elected President.
There is a youtube video of the appearance of Lester on the Joe Pyne show. (Another guest that night was Culius Jeezer, who claimed to be 2000 years old). A video of the time Lester was on the Dick Cavett show has not emerged. Another guest that night was Truman Capote. After Lester walked off the show, Mr. Capote said, in his own inimitable way, ” I ate at his restaurant one time, and all I have to say is, it was not finger licking good”.
Lightning Bolt Of Despair
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