Chamblee54

no free lunch ~ no evolutionary advantage to understanding reality at that level ~ any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him ~ Please do not submit professional head shots or any other flattering photos that are out of date. Photos must be an exact representation of what you look like today. ~ Once, on the set of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell discussed embryological parallelism. Marilyn Monroe: Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Jane Russell: I was about to say the same thing. ~ @nihilist_arbys Trump: a sentient beef n cheddar who cares for nothing save his own immediate pleasure as he courts the end of all things ~ @WernerTwertzog If you want to imagine the future of higher education, imagine a boot stamping on bunnies forever. ~ Knees are one part of the body that G-d might have done better on. ~ The part of the beltline between the ashby station and the bankhead station is still untamed. ~ @lucygabs hi i’m a slut and no that doesn’t mean i am nothing but flesh to grab with your red stained hands that you’ve sterilised with excuses ~ From One White Gay Male to Another: Calling out the Implicit Racism in Dan Savage’s ‘Liberal’ Politics & the ‘It gets better’ Campaign” ~ Why this radical activist is disillusioned by the toxic culture of the left ~ 3 Differences Between the Terms ‘Gay’ and ‘Queer’ — and Why It Matters ~ Secular Faith: How Culture Has Trumped Religion in American Politi ~ beltline map ~ free inhabitant ~ true meme ~ cheesy jokes ~ weird ~ dad jokes ~ phoenix files ~ The Myth of Black-on-Black Crime ~ Rapper Bankroll Fresh Shot and Killed at Recording Studio in Atlanta ~ The White Riders – Stand Up And Be Counted ~ kkk ~ My Mental Illness ~ How ‘Gay’ Came to Mean ‘Homosexual’ ~ Luther Mckinnon the only color that matters to Hollywood is green. When movies with minority actors make money in the international market, then we will see more minorities cast.~ +sherlock tango IF they never let minorities into the industry, things will stay exactly the same. Everyone needs a stepping stone. You start by letting them play supporting roles, let the audience familiarize with their faces. One little step at a time. I didn’t say you should begin with a unknown actor to play the next batman. Let them play a supporting role first. these things take time. But if you don’t even give them a chance to play any roles except the racial stereotypical roles, nothing will improve.~ Luther Mckinnon Another thing to consider is that most of the money paid to see films today comes from abroad. It is one thing to say what an american audience should think, and another to say what an international audience would think. And who owns the companies making these decisions? Most corporations are owned by a mixture of stockholders, both institutional and individual. To call these corporations “white” is misleading. ~ slavery ~ That is a comma challenged caption. ~ Not to mention “Maro” Rubio. My friend Wayne says it’s not a true meme unless there are grammatical or spelling errors. ~ Or a last line, consisting of one word in the middle of the block of text. ~ ‏@ivan_hernandez I’m proBernie but would vote Hillary as I am a one issue voter and that issue is not opening the seventh seal and ushering in the apocalypse ~ 1- two wrongs do not make one right 2- most anti white noise does nothing to alleviate systemic oppression ~ ‏@MaraEastern Six-Word-Story: Amen and then there was nothing. ~ you see what you want in the bible ~ @kathbarbadoro I hate this NPR-class reverence for comedians as public intellectuals. We are all fucking dumbasses. Listen to people who read books ~ Obama and Putin were walking around out in the country, discussing politics and enjoying the scenery and mild fall weather. On the trail, they came across a herd of sheep. When they approached, the sheep tried to get away, but one had gotten its head caught in the fence next to the trail and became stuck. Putin smiled, walked behind the sheep and dropped his drawers and had his way with it. When Putin was done, he turned to Obama and said, “go ahead it’s your turn!” Obama eagerly walked over, and then stuck his head in the fence… ~ ‏@WernerTwertzog One does not know the complete depths of American vulgarity until one shops for a coffin. ~ I love hearing what you have to say, and I try to respond to all comments here. Thanks for stopping by! ~ ‏@chamblee54 If you are going to post multi tweet messages, post them in reverse order They will make more sense to those who read them ~ always copy tweets you think will get you blocked ~ pictures today are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah

A blond and her boyfriend are out in the woods hunting when the boyfriend collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The blond takes out her phone and calls 911.
She gasps: “My boyfriend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the blond says: “OK, now what?”
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!! Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My goodness!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.
One morning a blonde’s husband was watching the traffic report on TV. They were talking about some maniac who was driving along the highway in the wrong direction and disrupting traffic. He knew his wife would be on that highway on her way to work and he didn’t want her to get hurt, so he called her to let her know.
“Honey, watch out this morning, there’s a lunatic driving the wrong way up the highway” he said.
Sounding terrified, she replied “It’s not just one!”
On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.
But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.
“Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.
“I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.
“What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.
To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble, and are down to their very last $600.00. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, ‘When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to bring the trailer with the truck to me so we can haul it home.’
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ‘I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.’
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, and then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.’ Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she says, ‘I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable.’
The operator shakes his head ‘How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word ‘comfortable?’
The brunette explains, ‘My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slowly… ‘com-for-da-bul.’
A blond was sitting at the local bar after work one evening watching the television. There was a news story on the tube about a man jumping off the roof of a ten story building. The bartender says “I bet $20 he will jump”. The blond says “you are on, I bet he won’t jump”. A few minutes later the man jumps and the blond starts to hand the bartender the $20 she just lost. The bartender confesses that the story was not live and he had seen it earlier in the day so he could not in good conscience take her money. The blond replies that he should take the money anyway as she had seen the story earlier in the day too and really didn’t think the guy would do it twice.
This is a repost. These whimsical tales were originally published at Rapture Ready. Pictures, from “Inter city beauties, Atlantic City Pageant, 1925,” are from The Library of Congress.