Chamblee54

Thou Art That

Posted in Commodity Wisdom, GSU photo archive by chamblee54 on January 9, 2025

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It started out as a joke comment. Thank God for secular humanism. · You’re welcome. I got to thinking, and wondered what the punch line was. Is there a difference between God and man?
Zen and the art of motorcycle repair says that the division of God and man, subject and object, is the dirty work of Aristotle. I am not philosophically grounded enough to know, but suspect that unity is better than division. Is the earth a unified whole, “thou art that”?

Now, the truth just might be that God is separate from man. While unity may sound appealing, it might not be the way things operate. Just because a belief makes you happy does not mean that it is true. Let no man bring together what God has rent asunder.

If there is a division between God and man, then where does the boundary lie?
Pictures are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library. The featured image:The Krystal, Lee Street, SW, 1958. This is a repost. Is it art?

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LATAWNYA, the Naughty Horse

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on January 4, 2025

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Today’s feature is a repost from 2014. … Awful library books is one of the actors in this drama. It is a good waste of your time. On top of the shelf today is Lee the Rabbit with Epilepsy. Other uplifting volumes on the front page include Isn’t One Wife Enough?: the Story of Mormon Polygamy and When Cavemen Go Bowling. Awful Library Books retired in 2023.

The book that Awful Library Books chose to “weed” was Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say “No” to Drugs. The links in the original post no longer work, so google was enlisted to find a replacement. Believe it or not, this galloping tale has a wikipedia page.

The original book was targeted at African American youth. The author has daughters named Latawnya and Chrystal. The author has sued amazon, wikipedia, and urban dictionary.

A possibly illegal reproduction is found using the link. One of the comments tells a cautionary tale:
“It seems that many of these comments are viciously lampooning the work of a genius. I, however, see the visionary work of Mrs. Gibson. This insightful masterpiece presents the very real dangers of horse peer pressure. Just last week my daughter, Amber, was walking to school on a normal, idyllic day in suburbia. Then out of nowhere a Clydesdale galloped brazenly over to my precious princess and offered her a 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and a marijuana cigarette.”
Clydesdales have long been used to promote the products of the Anheuser-Busch company. (When you click on that link, a page pops up: WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR ID YOU MUST BE OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE TO ENTER THIS SITE) When I was younger, I worked on the mall maintenance crew at Northlake Mall. One day, the Budweiser Clydesdales made a visit. I was given a shovel and bucket, and told to walk behind the horses.

Courtesy of Awfullibrarybooks, we can see today “LATAWNYA, the Naughty Horse, Learns to say “No” to Drugs“. This uplifting story is about the afternoon when Latawnya goes out to play with her sisters Daisy and LaToya. Suddenly they meet four strange horses, Connie, Chrystal, Jackie, and Angie. They like to drink and smoke drugs.

The author of this tale was born in Mississippi, and lives in California. She says “Thank you, G-d”.

One of the reasons for the drug problem is drug education. Many of these programs, while well intentioned, make the problem worse.

In 1986, there was an oversupply of cocaine coming into America, and new ways of using the product were needed. Someone had the idea of making crack. The media did its part, by running scare stories about the new drug sensation. “One puff makes your head feel like it is exploding”. The stories had the combined effect of scaring parents, and making crack cocaine irresistible to certain people. Crack became a part of the life.

The first time I heard about oxycontin was a drug education flyer at work. It promised an overwhelming rush to the user who injected the substance. I imagined the reaction of some of the druggies he had known to this promise…where can I get some?

I am in the detoxed, old fogey stage of his life. Millions of others are not. When they read stories about horses who drink and smoke drugs, they learn to believe the opposite of what the drug educators tell them. Many will not live to be detoxed old fogeys. The pictures for this tale of drug-free stallions are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library

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RIP Jimmy

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, Weekly Notes by chamblee54 on December 30, 2024


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The motto of the state of Georgia is wisdom, justice, moderation. Some people say this works out as wisdom and justice in moderation. · State moderation should not be confused with online mods. · exp4-leiarcaica.bsky.social · @RichardHanania Getting all kinds of messages from Indians saying they appreciate me standing with them. Also getting many from rightists angry at my position. The ones from the Indians are all written in impeccable English. The ones written from “America First” types have spelling and grammatical mistakes that would embarrass a second grader. · So you’re a poet, hey? Well if you’re a poet Tell me a poem today Come on, let me know it · RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem. · The rimer quenches his unheeded fires, The sound surceases and the sense expires. Then the domestic dog, to east and west, Expounds the passions burning in his breast. The rising moon o’er that enchanted land Pauses to hear and yearns to understand. Mowbray Myles · R.I.P. 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Unscrupulous influence peddlers can be expected to exploit gender issues, with little regard for the collective mental health of the community. · “Singular They” is a repost of a feature from 2015, when gender discussions were starting to be fun. The picture, from the GSU library, is from 1951. The Big Apple is now the site of Metro PCS and Fader’s Barbershop. · lbse1-002a · pictures today are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library · selah

Singular They

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, The English Language by chamblee54 on December 29, 2024

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This is a repost from 2015. In the last nine years, Trans Awareness has mushroomed. Maybe the mushroom paradigm is the best way to view this discussion. The public is kept in the dark, and fed sh**. While Pronoun Consciousness (PC) has grown and festered, Singular They has not totally caught on as an alternative to the his/her nomenclature. The next nine years will no doubt see many changes in public gender awareness. Unscrupulous influence peddlers can be expected to exploit gender issues, with little regard for the collective mental health of the community.

A post from “Mental Floss” was making the facebook rounds. The Washington Post Style Guide Now Accepts Singular ‘They.’ The MF post recycles content from The Washington Post, The Post drops the ‘mike’ — and the hyphen in ‘e-mail’. WAPO has a way with words. “But there comes a point when atoms of language change start to form molecules.”

With increasing visibility of trans identified people, pronouns are getting attention. Many people do not like being referred to by the gender of their birth. One popular method is to use retrofit the plural “they” for use as a singular pronoun for he and she. Not everyone thinks this is a good idea.

A pronoun refers to a noun. The antecedent issue inspired a delightful comment in the WAPO. The author was an English 101 teacher, Puget Sounder. “While I may be able to catch the gist of the student commentary, the precise meaning is not always so evident, and I usually end up drawing lines from pronoun to preceding pronoun, desperately seeking the antecedent noun. Like Captain Ahab, I find a lot of candidates, but the “white whale” is often deeply submerged under the jetsam and flotsam of garbled verbiage.”

The seminal WAPO article had another noteworthy comment. This is from Doctor Dirt. “The singular “they” is far from a no-brainer. It creates more opportunity for confusion, as described below by Puget Sounder, and in other ways. They takes their chances. Bad grammar, colloquialism, or nongender-specific pronouns for a single person? How about “person” instead? Person takes person’s chances. I could get used to that faster than I could get used to “They is sitting in their chair,” and trying to figure out how many people and how many chairs are involved.”

Singular they can cause verb agreement confusion. ST can make you wonder how many butts are sitting in the chair. ST (already used as an abbreviation for Saint) can suggest that the person involved is schizophrenic, or has multiple personality disorder. Employing ST, a plural pronoun, for singular use, is opening a can of linguistic worms.

A gender neutral pronoun for third person use would be an advancement for the English language. In most cases, there is no need to specify gender. Perhaps a contraction of she and it could be used, especially with a southern accent. The sir/ma’am issue will have to wait for another day. There are other complications. … This exchange was on facebook while this feature was being posted: I’m still waiting for Singular Y’all to be approved. ~ I thought y’all was the plural of you. ~ If They can be singular, then Y’all can be singular. ~ That may be the best argument yet against Singular They.

Pictures today are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library. The image displayed on social media is from November 16, 1951. Sidewalk outside the Piedmont Drive-In Theatre and screen. The Big Apple building is now occupied by Fader’s Barbershop, and others.

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#UnwieldyInsults

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, Holidays by chamblee54 on December 25, 2024

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This is a repost from 2014. … #UnwieldyInsults are from twitter. They might be talking about you. Pictures are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library.
‏@HoorayBacon You look like what would happen if a wookie mated with one of the guys from Duck Dynasty #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
‏@JohnParrish56 There is an odor emitting from your torso that is most egregious. I do say you should stop living. #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
@KebabManiac With your wit, you’d make a wonderful dinner guest for Jeffrey Dahmer

@rockskimmer Lawrence Welk wants his Tupperware back, you bubble-hating, enemy of the accordion! #WeCantBreathe #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS
@KebabManiac I don’t care what the others say – you wear that hunch well
@facebookie You, sir, are lower than Eubalaena japonica ordure at the nadir of the Mariana

@rockskimmer In the HeeHaw auditions of life, you would be laughed from the room and not allowed any of the craft services cornbread. #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS #WeCantBreathe
@KebabManiac You Have The Grace Of A Pygmi Hippo With ‘The Shits’ And The Dancing Prowess Of The Great Proffesor Stephen Hawking
@DaiseyDoesIt Your pompous presence reveals your inherent nature as one best illustrated by a phallically formed cranium

@zolaris64 Your mother wears Bates 30501 Durashock desert foot protection.
‏@rockskimmer You have the spelling skills of an umbrella stand and the wry wit of a Bass Pro Shops fish finder. #UnwieldyInsults @TheHashtagGame
@TheBrandonHolly You are a maladroitly uncoordinated ape who is unable to take notice of his own bemusing presence & horrendous malfeasance.

@MullingHagel In the theater of the absurd you were asked to stop acting.
@Bat_Guano_1 Your bad taste is exceeded only by your bad breath.
@MHanson62 “Hey, Excrement for Intelligence…”

@steverand616 Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
KennyBrendan You’re an objectivist Marxist who fails to appreciate the potential for revolutionary subjectivity. #WeCantBreathe #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS
@FateJacketX I would rather read Hawthorne to a bovine in heat than suffer your malodorous company at the debutant ball!

@llamaranch This meal tastes like the regurgitated bile of a pregnant hippopotamus who suffers from leprosy. #UnwieldyInsults @TheHashtagGame #ladygaga
‏@tlcninjarx Your only value is the plethora of calumnious epithets you have reminded me are in my arsenal of verbal eviscerators
@jpostman You’re about as effective as the 1992 Maastricht Agreement was at unifying EU monetary policy #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
@chamblee54 #unwieldyinsults a plethora of pusillanimous pie throwing meta entertainment most never knew who was targeted

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United States Of Amnesia

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, History, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on December 19, 2024

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I stumbled onto a podcast of Allan Gurganus speaking at a literary event in Key West. Mr. Gurganus, bless his heart, is a good writer. As a public speaker, the jury is “out.”

This particular literary event concerned historical fiction. Tom Robbins went on a tear once, comparing animal husbandry to history. With one, you combine blood lines to create a superior breed. With the other, you mix “facts” to create an inspiring story. With both animal husbandry and history, you are frequently up to your ankles in shit.

Mr. Gurganus trotted out a bunch of quotable lines. ”Liars like historians and politicians tend to overdocument.” ”Myth is gossip grown old.” ”the term historical fiction sounds as pitifully redundant as, say, creative writing. … It’s like having ‘oxygen breather’ stamped on your driver’s license.” ”History is agreed-upon hearsay granted tenure.”

The first time I tried to listen to the Gurganus speech, the cliche slinging got too thick, and the player triangle was turned into the parallel lines. Or maybe it was the parallel lines turned into the triangle. In any event, the speakers quit making sounds. This option is not available live.

The second time I tried to listen to the Gurganus speech, the line about hearsay granted tenure stuck. Mr. Google was consulted, and found a nice website for the literary event. Another speaker at said event was Gore Vidal. Finally, Mr. Gurganus wore out my patience.  It was time to download the appearance by Mr. Vidal.

The emcee said, “I don’t want to steal your jokes, but you said that this is the United States of Amnesia.” Mr. Vidal said, “I don’t remember that.” This is going to be fun. Photographs for this repost are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.

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Mithras

Posted in GSU photo archive, History, Holidays by chamblee54 on December 8, 2024

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Mithras is a Persian deity, from the Zoroaster tradition.(That is pronounced Zor uh THRUS ta.) Not much is known about Mithras … did he really exist, or was he a legend? There was a cult of Mithras in the first century Roman empire.

There are supposed to be similarities between Mithras and Jesus. These include the virgin birth, the birth on December 25, and rising from the dead after three days. Some spoilsports say the early Christians grafted Jesus onto the legend of Mithras.

One indication that this might be true is The Catholic Encyclopedia. “Some apparent similarities exist; but … it is quite probable that Mithraism was the borrower from Christianity.”
This repost has pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. (more…)

Sixty One Years

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, History by chamblee54 on November 22, 2024

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Sixty one years ago, John Kennedy went to the oval office in the sky. The bullets hit Mr. Kennedy at 12:30 pm, CST. He arrived at the hospital at 12:37. He had a faint heartbeat on arrival, but quickly succumbed to his wounds.

I was nine years old. I was in Miss Mckenzie’s fourth grade class. There was going to be an assembly soon, and the class was going to perform. There was a rehearsal in the cafetorium, and some of the kids were acting up. They went back to the class, and I thought they were going to be chewed out about the misbehavior in the cafetorium. Instead, Miss Mckenzie came into the room, and told the kids that President Kennedy had been shot during a parade in Dallas Texas. She did not say anything about his condition. One kid cheered the news.

School let out at the regular time, and I walked home. My mother and brother were crying. I was told that the president had died. The cub scouts meeting that afternoon was canceled.

Later that night, a plane arrived in Washington. The tv cameras showed a gruesome looking man walk up to a microphone. He was introduced as President Lyndon Johnson. This may have been the worst moment of that day. Photographs for this repost today are from “Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.

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RuPaul

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, Holidays, Library of Congress by chamblee54 on November 17, 2024

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RuPaul Andre Charles was born on November 17. He or she? Ally or enemy? Racist or whatever? Labels are part of the packaging, and have little to do with the product inside the box.
A facebook friend put up a link to a RuPaul interview, Real Talk With RuPaul. The FBF is over RuPaul. I read the interview, and found many things that I agreed with. Is it possible to be a conservative because you like RuPaul?

The Vulture feature is similar to the WTF podcast that RuPaul did. Chamblee54 wrote about that interview. The Vulture chat is better for bloggers, since it is a copy friendly text affair. When you see quotes, you can include them verbatim.

RuPaul has a talent for snappy sayings, to be remembered for later use. An example would be “I’d rather have an enema than have an Emmy.” Some unkind people say that if you were to give RuPaul an enema, you could bury him in a shoebox.

A persistent theme of RuPaul’s moving lips is “the matrix.” “Because you get to a point where if you’re smart and you’re sensitive, you see how this all works on this planet. It’s like when Dorothy looks behind the curtain. Like, “Wait a minute. You’re the wizard?” And you figure out the hoax. That this is all an illusion. There’s only a few areas you can go. First, you get angry that you’ve been hoaxed and you get bitter. But then, take more steps beyond the bitterness and you realize, “Oh, I get it. Let’s have fun with it. It’s all a joke.”

The Bosslady of “RuPaul’s Drag Race’ is an African American. Duh. In the Vulture piece, there are 4355 words. Racism/racist is not included. Could it be that America’s obsession with other people’s racial attitudes is part of the illusion? “Derogatory slurs are ALWAYS an outward projection of a person’s own poisonous self-loathing.”

RuPaul is not always politically correct. She supports Shirley Q. Liquor. RPDR was instrumental in the rise to fame/descent into the abyss of Sharon Needles. “But if you are trigger-happy and you’re looking for a reason to reinforce your own victimhood, your own perception of yourself as a victim, you’ll look for anything that will reinforce that.”

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Years ago, I worked with someone who liked to say “and a ru hu hu.” This was shortened to ru, and was usually said very loud. Ru became a greeting.

About this time, RuPaul was living in Atlanta. Many people remember a spectacular self promoter. RuPaul would sit in an apartment balcony, and wave at cars passing by. Posters for his band, Wee Wee Pole, were on telephone poles up and down Ponce de Leon Avenue.

One night, Ru Paul was working as a gogo dancer in a club called Weekends. During a break, I went over to talk to him. The use of ru as a greeting was mentioned. Soon, people came over, and I started to leave. Before I could get away, RuPaul turned to me, lifted an index finger, and said “Keep on saying my name.”

RuPaul went on to become famous. Weekends was torn down, and is the site of the Federal Reserve Bank. I do not watch much TV, and has never seen an episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” This is a TV show about a TV.

There is a recent controversy about RPDR. It seems that the phrase shemale has been used. Some people are offended by this. The expression is no longer used on the show. Holly/Diane/Sashia, a transcritter, introduced me to the term “shemale” in 1998.

The use of offensive language is to be avoided. If you know something is going to hurt people, then you should avoid saying it. There is a good possibility that Ru Paul knew what she was doing, and just didn’t care. The problem comes when you haven’t received the latest update from the language authorities. Keeping up with what is cool to say can be a full time job. Is it still ok to say ru?

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RuPaul is no stranger to attention being thought strange. The latest bit of publicity… there is no bad publicity, and they spell the name right … is an article in the eyeball grabbing HuffPo, RuPaul Responds To Controversy Over The Word ‘Tranny’. (Spell check suggestion: Granny) PG gave into temptation, and clicked on the link. It seems as though there was an appearance on the WTF podcast. Why settle for a sensational sample, when you can hear the entire show?

If you have an hour and twenty four minutes to spare, listen to this show. If you like, you can skip the first thirteen minutes, which is host Mark Maron talking about himself. The show is highly entertaining. A theme is that the world is the matrix, a fake construction. Some people look behind the curtain and see the wizard. Some people believe the matrix is reality. You should already know which side RuPaul takes. He was not born blonde.

The quote about the T-word comes toward the end of the show. I have mixed feelings about the whole affair, and does not completely agree with RuPaul. However, this human being is entitled to an opinion. He is going to share it anyway. RuPaul does not suffer from false modesty.

For a show that gets attention about language, it is a bit strange at times. While describing his career trajectory, RuPaul says he went through a phase of “gender f-word.” The show is called WTF. Twice a week, the host says fuck a dozen times in the first sixty seconds. And RuPaul said “gender f-word.”

Even more amazingly, RuPaul said that things were “n-word rigged”. RuPaul did break down and say the ultimate dirty word. When his mother saw his act on television, she said “N****** you crazy.”

RuPaul has had quite a career. He mentions that he has been sober for fifteen years, and had some therapy to get there. This was not the case when he lived in Atlanta. Many stories from those days are in the show. The bs detector went off a couple of times. I saw the Now Explosion, and did not remember seeing a tall black guy.

This is a rich seventy five minutes. Like saying that Madonna is a curator, that most fashion designers don’t know how to sew. The part that is getting the attention is towards the end of the show, and is just a small part. It is all part of the matrix.

This feature is a repost. Some of the pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. Other pictures are from The Library of Congress. The images are of women, training to be bus drivers and taxi drivers. This was in Washington DC, November 1942. The photographer was Andreas Feininger, working for the Office of War Information. The picture of a dipstick demonstration is #8d36666.

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Your Racism

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive, History, Politics, Race by chamblee54 on November 6, 2024

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This is a repost from 2014, and the Mike Brown case. … Last night, in anticipation of the Grand Jury presentation, chamblee54 published Freedom Lies Bleeding. “grand jury renders opinion ~ national hissy fit begin again ~ when justice is popularity contest ~ freedom lies bleeding in street”

There was a comment. Anonymous said, on November 25, 2014 at 2:28 pm (Edit) “Thanks Luthor… you’re racism never disappoints!” The name was misspelled.

There is both style, and substance, to consider here. Is Freedom Lies Bleeding racist? Who knows? The definition of racism is growing, in carcinogenic fashion, as we speak. Some say it is systemic institutions of oppression. Some say it is jokes about toothpaste flavor. Maybe the best definition is that racism is anything that you do not like.

The poem was directed at the concept of mob rule. As President Obama said, “We are a nation built on the rule of law, so we have to accept this decision was the grand jury’s to make.”

A few years ago, O.J. Simpson was accused of murder. Many people thought he was guilty. After a long trial, he was found innocent. Should popular opinion have overruled the jury? No, it should not. The jury saw the evidence, and heard the arguments. The people can protest and debate, but they cannot take the place of a jury.

Is a dependence on a system of law and order racism? Anonymous seems to think so. Is they qualified to make this judgment? If racism is anything that you don’t like, then Anonymous is qualified to make the call. Maybe they knows something we don’t.

There is the style of the comment to consider. While Anonymous did not give their name, there was an I.P. address. The IPA is connected to a .edu server. Apparently, this is a workplace computer. Leaving insulting comments from your employer’s computer does not reflect well on the institution.

Anonymous is entitled to an opinion. However, leaving a name calling comment does not speak well for this individual. The six words say more about Anonymous than they do chamblee54. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.

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Winching The Dead

Posted in GSU photo archive, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on October 30, 2024


A recent post included the phrase “getting severely overweight dead people out of an apartment building.” Those are googling words. Most of the results are hand wringing about the number of overweight people. A couple of the results were worth  clicking out.

The headline result is from Merry Olde England, which is becoming known as the fattest country in Europe. Fire service called in 50 times to winch fat people out.

“Paramedics in the West Midlands have had to call on their heavy-lifting emergency service colleagues, despite having extra equipment to help move extremely heavy patients themselves. Over a three-year period they called in West Midlands Fire and Rescue Service on 50 occasions, so the patients could be winched out with apparatus designed for lifting car wrecks. Sometimes morbidly obese patients, … can only be extracted from their homes after a window is taken out, say firefighters.

… Nick Harrison, chairman of the West Midlands Fire Brigades Union, said: “In most cases these people are quite elderly and are suffering from serious medical issues which have left them bedridden for a long time, and they have put on a lot of weight. “Many times we have to remove the whole window frame and get them out that way. It’s a lot safer both for them and for the rescuers.”

… Official statistics show the West Midlands to be the fattest region in Britain, which is itself the fattest major country in Europe. According to the Association of Public Health Observatories, about 25 per cent of adults in Britain are now clinically obese. In the West Midlands, the figure is 29 per cent. By comparison, across the European Union as a whole it is just 14 per cent. “

One of the commenters had a constructive suggestion: “The ‘feeders’ should be brought to court and punished. For every obese person there is one or more ‘feeders’, who shop, supply the food, help the person eat it etc. Being a ‘feeder’ should be a criminal offense.”

This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

An Old Farmer’s Advice

Posted in Georgia History, GSU photo archive by chamblee54 on October 29, 2024

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Many of you have heard “An Old Farmer’s Advice”. This is a repost. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled. Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway. Don’t judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time. Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to G-d!”

No one knows who the old farmer is, or what he grew. Some say he really worked in an office writing ads for Massey Ferguson. Some say he had a bull farm, and believed in the product. In this age of industrial strength commodity wisdom, the first reaction of some is to look to google. In this case, you can go to a forum at Snopes. No one claims to be the grandson of the old farmer.

“My father in law is an old farmer. He’s given me some advice. It was more like: Don’t try to fix a broken porchlight in a rainstorm. corollary: Disconnect power to the sprinkler system before fiddling with the wiring. If you wear longer socks, the chiggers won’t bite you. Cool Whip makes everything taste better. Do whatever your mother in law says.”

quote: “A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.” ~ “Yeah, but you try getting a bumble bee to plow your fields. With the tiny little plows attached to their wings, it could take days.”

quote: “Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly…” ~ “And above all else, verb adverbly … There’s my problem, I’ve been living deeply, loving simply and speaking generously.”

quote: “Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.” ~ “I’m not sure of the lesson here…you should leave a bunch of tree stumps in your farm fields? But then you lose valuable real estate, the crops have to compete with the tree roots, and combine harvesting is significantly more dangerous. Maybe, if you take just a little time to remove the stump properly, it pays dividends and saves you time and energy in the long run. … But life is a lot cooler, and more productive if you go down to the general store, buy a few blasting caps, and blow that mother to kingdom come.”

“The sentiments aren’t too bad, but they missed “Now get orf moy laaand!” from the end…”

quote: “Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.” ~ “Oh, so I shouldn’t worry about not being able outrun a bumble bee on my John Deere tractor? Thanks.”

quote: Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ “But, unless your at the absolute source of the river, there’s always another herd further upstream.”

quote: The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’. ~ “I knew it. I knew that SOB had a camera in there. I’m going to the police.”

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