Chamblee54

This content was published May 31, 2010. … He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Joseph Romm, Washington
· She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. — Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
· The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
Russell Beland, Springfield
· McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
· From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Roy Ashley, Washington
· Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. — Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
· Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. — Russell Beland, Springfield
· Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake — Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
· Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. — Unknown
· He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. — Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
· The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
· Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like”Second Tall Man.” — Russell Beland, Springfield
· Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. — Jennifer Hart, Arlington
· The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
· They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. — Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
· John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Russell Beland, Springfield
· The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. — Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
· His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. — Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
· The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
These specimens were published in 2007 by Soylent Green – ItsPeopleDammit(tm). Before that, it was an item at The Humor Library, Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. Jack Delano took the social media picture in March 1941. “Woman who had been moved out of the Santee-Cooper basin to Orangeburg Farms, a FSA (Farm Security Administration) project in Orangeburg County, South Carolina”
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