Puns
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. The teacher confiscated a rubber band pistol was confiscated from a student in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. A baseball cap and a beret were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. The beret said to the cap:
‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’
The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
27. This is a repost. Pictures for this questionable use of technology are provided courtesy of “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
25 Things About Georgia
These daze, there is more media than messages. People need things to write about. One popular theme, at least in itp/otp, is lists about life in Georgia. A web facility that should know better, thought catalog, recently put out 25 Things You Need To Know About Georgia.
25TYNTKAG was written by Jeremy Populus Jones. He seems to be the CEO of something called GAFollowers. (@GAFollowers on twitter) From the fine print: “GAFollowers was created on a “strength in numbers” foundation, finding a creative way to use free online social networking sites to strengthen the “bond” between people in Georgia to help better form this state. … GAFollowers is one of the largest twitter accounts in the state of Georgia that spans nearly every corner of the region.”
These lists about Georgia life usally have a few common comments. There is the heat, the bugs, the traffic, the multiple Peachtrees, and southern accents. They seldom mention the shameless corruption, religious mental illness, rampant obesity, or racial pandemonium. Lets take a look at 25TYNTKAG. Mr. Jones will be in blue, and Chamblee54 in green. This is a repost, with pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
1. The weather here is just as inconsistent as your ex-girlfriend. Not really. It gets cold in January, hot in July. Your ex-girlfriend is staying out of this.
2. We call all interstates in Georgia, “The Highway”. Most people use the number.
3. Only in Atlanta is everything named “Peachtree” without a single tree with peaches around. Peachtree is all over OTP.
4. Terio and Honey Boo Boo were born and raised here. You couldn’t do this without google. Terio is a chubby kid who dances. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
5. “Knuck if you Buck” is the song we will always get hype to no matter the age. Yuck.
6. White girls wear Nike shorts with big t-shirts covering their shorts. (How many can you spot?) Maybe there was a sale on big t-shirts at Walmart.
7. Zaxbys is what you eat. The TC comments said this is not accurate. They mentioned a certain spelling challenged company, that specializes in overpriced chicken sandwiches. At least the son of Mr. Zaxby doesn’t run off potential customers with his big mouth.
8. We call it a “rag” not a “washcloth”. Do people up north say a woman is on the washcloth?
9. Going outside at anytime during the summer instantly guarantees a minimum a 7 bug bites. This is mostly true. Who is counting?
10. In Georgia when someone ask, “Where you from?”, people usually reply with a county not a city. In Atlanta, when you say “Where are you from?” it is almost always somewhere outside of Georgia.
11. The speed limit is 65 mph but if you’re not going at least 80 mph you’ll be ran off the road. This is also true on surface roads. In hilly Atlanta, there are few places to pass on two lane roads.
12. In Georgia it’s not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy. Do people really say shopping cart? At Kroger it is a bascart. The stores have a bascart corral.
13. We get more inches of pollen in a week than inches of snow in a full year. Pollen season hits in early spring. It is rough for many people. The rest of the year gets relatively little pollen. There is a good ice/snow storm every ten years or so. This one is probably true.
14. You say Georgia, we say Jawja. Others say George-ah. To untrained ears they sound the same.
15. Sweet tea is our water. Very few people wash cars with sweet tea.
16. The night has been a success if you ended up at Waffle House. This is especially true if you are scattered, smothered, and covered.
17. In Georgia it’s necessary to look at the weather before picking out an outfit. A reason not to do numbered lists. Just think of what you have to say, write it down, and hope it is not copyrighted.
18. We pray that we get snow during the winters. The people who pray for winter storms are merchants. They have an inventory of batteries, milk, ice, and eggs to sell.
19. We are the creators of, “Turn Up”. You can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.
20. Here in Georgia white girls can twerk. No Miley Cyrus. Ditto reaction to number 17. What was PG thinking of when he decided to do this post?
21. You will usually be 30 minutes away from just about every destination that you’re heading to. 22. There’s a Waffle House in walking distance of every Waffle House. These two have been combined, for obvious reasons. Do people proofread these lists before sending them out?
23. Any dark soda is simply called “Coke”. Many say Cocola, without the second syllable.
24. We pronounce it “Atlanna”. Whatever. Sometimes the second t is audible, sometimes not. It definitely is not the ATL, except to radio shouters.
25. Braves, Falcons & UGA are the teams we really care about. Tech fans may disagree. Ditto taxpayers, who don’t care if Rankin Blank gets a new stadium.
Roll Model
another monday morning collections of facebook comments i was too discreet to publish, links to things i never wrote about, disclaimers, boilerplate, and pictures of country roads going nowhere ~ @postcrunk the cultural fetishization of virginity and the economic fetishization of brand new products are the same thing ~ #Junky is a book where you appreciate the privilege of leaving the story for your own life ~ @SlavojTweezek @WernerTwertzog The hole, of course, is god. !~ sticks and stones may break my bones but words can also hurt me compliments make me uncomfortable i have social anxiety resting bitch face negative attitude jesus hates me i don’t believe you i am a wreck just go ~ I thought it was legal for two fruit crates to get married. ~ I don’t know if involving police is a good idea. Snitch is a worse insult than faggot. ~ Roseanne Barr? ~ are we keeping #carlyfiorina alive so we can harvest her brain? ~ foreplay ~ So far, Brookhaven government has been bad. Maybe Lysol could be our City Symbol. In no particular order, here is what I want to see: 1. Leave Pink Pony alone. 2. Secure the Greenspace at PDK. It would be OK to give the county a couple of acres on Clairmont to park their work vehicles. The rest of that lands needs to be a permanent passive green space. This is an opportunity that will not come back. Once this space is lost, it is lost forever. 3. Use vision and common sense while redeveloping the land around the Marta station. This is another one time opportunity that needs to be done carefully. I don’t have any thoughts on how to do this, except that we should be skeptical of the claims of developers. 4. The less commercial development the better. 5. Discourage the building of McMansions. Encourage the renovation of the existing houses. 6. Encourage the Police to be aggressive against bad drivers from outside the city. ~ @whitman632 The sheer magnitude of human insignificance is incomprehensible. ~ I hope no one takes their life after reading this post. Good intentions do not always lead to good results. ~ @BurnBrigettes @RISKshow @TheKevinAllison Why did the dead baby cross the road? he was trying to get to the post office use stamps dot com ~ I heard a teacher say that the best way to win an argument was to use statistics. The best way to get statistics is to make them up. ~ @ChrchCurmudgeon Hashtag unto others as you would have them hashtag unto you. ~ This is on top of my facebook feed right now.~ We never had any goals in Afghanistan. Our invasion was a knee jerk reaction to 911. The only other possible goal was to protect the heroin merchants, which has also been achieved. ~ @sullydish @robertwrighter ~ I believe a literary classic was written in Tennessee: 200 Yards to the Outhouse, by Willie Makeit and Betty Wont ~ In the immortal song “Hello Muddah Hello Faddah”, there is a scary line. “You remember Leonard Skinner He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner” Just Gimme Three Steps. ~ said it much better ~ libruls ~ what he said ~ @miragonz imagine how hard life is gonna be for the children of youtube celebrities ~ @AdviceToWriters Mere literary talent is common; what is rare is endurance, the continuing desire 2 work hard at writing. DONALD HALL ~ Maybe it is time to just admit that racism is anything that you don’t like, and is a meaningless all purpose insult. ~ @postcrunk thank god we’re the least religious generation ~ You’d rather pursue science than waste time contemplating metaphysics? That’s sad. Perhaps you knew that Newton was an alchemist, a philosopher, a historian, a theologian, and a warden of of the mint… and, in his spare time, a physicist and a mathematician. ~ 14 words: Candied lemon roasted brussel sprout and caramelized onion white pizza with roasted garlic sauce. ~ 33 characters left if you put this on twitter ~ the power went out and the machine opens in safe mode this is not the same as the old sm, where you could play games the only thing you can do in this sm is write there probably are other things to do but i am not going to look for them now ~ Eʟɛʍɛռtaʟ ɛaʀtɦ, tɦɛʀɛ’s օռʟʏ օռɛ ɖɨʀɛċtɨօռ , up ~ australian rupert murdoch is top trending topic he did not die he said usa needs a “real black” potus ~ The domain Whiteprivilege.com is listed for sale. Click here to inquire about this domain name. ~ Sedo LogoThis page provided to the domain owner free by Sedo’s Domain Parking. Disclaimer: Domain owner and Sedo maintain no relationship with third party advertisers. Reference to any specific service or trade mark is not controlled by Sedo or domain owner and does not constitute or imply its association, endorsement or recommendation. ~ Is Benghazi the best scandal the Repubs can dig up? ~ Maybe it is time for a discussion of how visible we want to be. Do you want to tell the commercial media that you are a “radical faerie,” with all the opportunities for misunderstanding that would involve? Or do we want to be a bit more opaque about it? Bear in mind, we don’t have memberships. You don’t join the faeries. (or not join, because someone said something you do not like) Anyone can call them self a “radical faerie.” Is it appropriate to call yourself a “radical faerie” when listing your qualifications? Maybe a “secret society” is more of the way to go.~ “He ain’t even from ATL! He just moved here and he just played y’all like sheep and pocketed sooooo much of your money.” That narrows it down to about 100,000 people. ~ @JamilSmith That Raven-Symoné used “Watermelonisha” as an example of a “black name” shows you how deep the internalized racism and self-hatred goes. ~ is “Black as a dice game at a church fish fry” racist? #Ebony magazine said it about #RavenSymone ~ Franklin Graham is the poster child for the dangers of nepotism ~ Quote Investigator has found no substantive linkage to Dorothy Parker. ~ I do not recommend Ian Curtis as a role model. ~ @SlavojTweezek You have no more right to demand that I be consistent than I have to demand that you be interesting. ~ PROTESTER ~ Let me just be candid: My party is full of racists. ~ @ListofX Arguing which politician is more authentic is like arguing which lion is more of a vegetarian. #Clinton vs #Biden ~ I thought entitlement was a type of chewing gum. ~ publix takedown ~ White Women, Please Don’t Expect Me to Wipe Away Your Tears ~ 9 Ways We Can Make Social Justice Movements Less Elitist and More Accessible ~ EVERYDAY SELF-LOVE COURSE ~ synchronicity ~ Davis: What Hurts Me Most Is ‘When Someone Tells Me My God Doesn’t Love Me’ ~ pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. ~ selah
Junky Part Two
Sometimes, you do something that is so stupid. When preparing this text for publication, PG accidentally clicked in the wrong place, and started to close the file. The machine asked PG if he wanted to save the changes. He clicked on the middle option, which was to not save the changes. A split second later, PG realized what a bad mistake this was. It was too late. This story will be re-created, but might not be as good as the first one. Pictures will be from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
This is part two of the chamblee54 reconfiguration of Junky, by William S. Burroughs, aka William Lee. (part one) The original exposure to this material was from an audiobook, with selections borrowed from the peedeeff. Some of the best writing is in the parts of the manuscript that were edited out. The limited attention span of audiobook listeners must be considered.
The story begins with WSB leaving the north, and arriving in New Orleans. Before you can say Harrison Narcotics Act, (passed in 1914, after the third party manipulated election of 1912,) WSB is using junk. There are some wild and crazy junkies in New Orleans at this time.
“Another occasional was Lonny the Pimp, who had grown up in his mother’s whorehouse. Lonny tried to space his shots so he wouldn’t get a habit. … Lonny was pure pimp. He was skinny and nervous. He couldn’t sit still and he couldn’t shut up. As he talked, he moved his thin hands which were covered on the backs with long, greasy, black hairs. You could tell by looking at him that he had a big penis. Pimps always do. Lonny was a sharp dresser and he drove a Buick convertible. But he wouldn’t hesitate to hang us up for credit on a two-dollar cap.”
Before too much longer, WSB is busted. “We’re going out and search your house, ” the frog-faced cop said. “If we find anything, your wife will be put in jail, too. I don’t know what will happen to your children.” This is the first time the word wife is used. This probably refers to Joan Vollmer, who had her own set of issues. Her fondness for playing William Tell had unfortunate results.
A lawyer gets WSB out of jail. For legal reasons, WSB goes to a facility, and is to receive a cure. One doctor thinks WSB is there for a “marijuana habit.” Another doctor has a familiar conversation. “”Why do you feel that you need narcotics, Mr. Lee?” When you hear this question you can be sure that the man who asks it knows nothing about junk. “I need it to get out of bed in the morning, to shave and eat breakfast.””
After some legal shenanigans. WSB goes to Texas. There is a place on the border called the Valley. It used to be desert, until it was irrigated with water from the Rio Grande. “When I arrived in the Valley, I was still in the post-cure drag. I had no appetite and no energy. All I wanted to do was sleep, and I slept twelve to fourteen hours a day. Occasionally I bought two ounces of paregoric, drank it with two goof balls and felt normal for several hours. You have to sign for P. G. when you buy it, and I did not want to burn down the drugstores. You can only buy P. G. so often, or the druggist gets wise. Then he packs in, or ups the price.”
For the last few years, PG has been the extra name of the slack blogger. It originally stood for Piers Gaveston, a romantic figure in English history. Other uses of PG include parental guidance, pretty good, and passing gas. The two initializing periods were considered unnecessary. To have an retro narcotic preparation referred to as P.G. is a bright moment, in an otherwise dreary text.
Sally And Johnny
PG was reading facebook, minding his own business, when he saw the splashy title White Liberals Have White Privilege Too!. There is something about online discussions about privilege that make well meaning people want to type a lot of words into little boxes. PG usually avoids such a conversation, as if it were an amway pitch, but made an exception this ill fated afternoon.
The seminal article was written in 2007, and mentioned the media controversy of the day. It seemed as though Joe Biden said “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy … I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” Mr. Biden is currently the Vice President, serving under the FMAA.
There was a link to Black People Love Us!, which tells the story of Sally and Johnny… “We are well-liked by Black people so we’re psyched (since lots of Black people don’t like lots of White people!)” The fun starts when someone quotes a letter to BPLU.
“I swear, if one more white person says that they want to touch my hair, I am gonna puck a f*ckin mousetrap in it so their f*ckin hand gets caught in it. anyways… GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Have any of you ever heard of sarcasm? Irony? Satires? Canterbury Tales? Shakespeare’s “As You Like it” and “Much Ado About Nothing?” If some of you would actually get your heads out of your asses for one second and read a f*cking book or get educated, you will see that this website is NOT trying to break down PEOPLE, but break down BARRIERS and erase STEREOTYPES…With much love for Sally and Johnny… A Black University of Michigan Student with nappy-ass hair”.
The resulting visual ruined the day for PG. BUMS should keep their pants on, and not burden the world with the sight of nappy hair on BUMS posterior. The same thing goes for any asian, latino, caucasian, native american, or zorlack with this problem.
The photgraphs today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. This repost was modified to satisfy an writing challenge word limit.
Life Is Bad Fiction
Dansk Deutsch English English UK Español فارسی Suomi Filipino Français עִבְרִית हिन्दी Magyar Bahasa Indonesia Italiano 日本語 한국어 Bahasa Melayu Nederlands Norsk Polski Português Русский Svenska ภาษาไทย Türkçe 简体中文 ~ 10 Ways White Liberals Perpetuate Racism ~ Marriage is between a man, a woman, and his intern. ~ @AndyMartindale Saw Mary Poppins trending and feared the worst for a minute. Phew, she’s fine. ~ We Looked Everywhere For This Page! (Error 404) But maybe we can still help you find what you’re looking for: ~ Their There They’re now ~ @ChrchCurmudgeon I could be an ice cream socialist. ~ If you take this to school, will it be confused for a bomb? ~ your opinions are not always welcome ~ A writing teacher said once to go on an adjective diet. ~ Junky ~ William S. Burroughs Reads Edgar Allan Poe ~ 10 Ways White Liberals Perpetuate Racism ~ The Dummy’s Guide to the One True God ~ Luther Mckinnon This applies to this video.@chescaleigh We live in a society that normalizes oppression of others. So very often the “jokes” you make or things you say are unconsciously hurtful NRAGOAL Shut up cracker SunyiSideUp “You said being basically decent to other cultures doesn’t deserve self-congratulations. This confuses me, and when I’m confused by concepts, I get upset.“Luther Mckinnon ” “You said being basically decent to other cultures doesn’t deserve self-congratulations.” I don’t recall saying that. I do feel that you should be decent to other human beings, and that you should not receive an award for this. What I said in the above comment was that Ms. Ramsey said one thing, and did the opposite. The good news is that most white people who watch this video don’t take it seriously.SunyiSideUp Ok, pops. ~ When whatshisname said to honor the Adams family, I thought he meant Gomez and Morticia ~ Maybe you could promise to end drone warfare. I am not sure those Republican clowns need to be raising children. ~ pedantic and pretentious are words that describe themselves ~ @puddinstrip I’d rather have 11 million illegal Mexicans in our country than 1 legal Canadian telling people not to immunize their kids #CNNDebate ~ @nihilist_arbys RT if life’s an unbearable misery & only the occasional pile of Arbys-brand corpseflesh & lines of cheap cocaine keep you from ending it all ~ @chamblee54 spell check suggestion for Arbys-brand is Bystander ~ Be a free spirit. Quit your job. Travel the world. Follow your dreams. Express yourself. Use your parents credit card until you die of a drug overdose. Its all good. ~ Are you smart AND magical? Sign up today and you’ll receive updates from BAD WITCHES plus our free PDF Guide to Love and Attraction Magic that Works! ~ Once vehicles start driving over the crosswalk, and dripping oil on it, the crosswalk will be gnarly looking. If it is scrubbed after pride, this will not happen. ~ The stars and bars is a bad example. That debate has gone on for a long time. The debate over the Georgia state flag was going on twenty two years ago. ~ I wonder how many people have made that comment ~ God created war so Americans would learn geography ~ Is including PhD in a twitter handle pretentious? ~ Life is bad fiction. ~ #yardsales. For $2.30: wig mannequin,yard saw,wallet,copy of “Fifty shades of Gray”,lavender bowling ball,black bowling ball,bike ride ~ PRAYER WARRIOR ALERT: Print out this FREE Bible tract to thrust into the unrepentant hands of unsaved trash. Trust me: You’ll run out of paper before you run out of sinners! ~ Maybe the problem is calling your ideas “beliefs,” and attaching too much importance to them. Remember, the middle three letters of believe is lie. ~ The war on Republican Presidential candidates was a bad idea. ~ Is proscience the opposite of conscience? ~ pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. ~ selah
The Clown Car Debate
The Republican debate the other night was weird. At one point, the … the phone rings. PG spends the next few minutes talking about William Burroughs, Edgar Allan Poe, alcoholics, Diamond Lil, and thirteenth street in 1970. Two people talking on cell phones is asking for reception trouble, especially when one is on speaker phone. All change is not progress.
One reality challenged clown car rider was Carly Fiorna. She is the new star of this circus. As one impolite facebooker noted, “If Carly Fiorina REALLY wants to kill Planned Parenthood…she should become its CEO.” Through the magic of internet transcript, here is Carly in action.
Dana, I would like to link these two issues, both of which are incredibly important, Iran and Planned Parenthood. One has something to do with the defense of the security of this nation. The other has something to do with the defense of the character of this nation. You have not heard a plan about Iran from any politician up here, here is my plan. On day one in the Oval Office, I will make two phone calls, the first to my good friend to Bibi Netanyahu to reassure him we will stand with the state of Israel.The second, to the supreme leader, to tell him that unless and until he opens every military and every nuclear facility to real anytime, anywhere inspections by our people, not his, we, the United States of America, will make it as difficult as possible and move money around the global financial system. We can do that, we don’t need anyone’s cooperation to do it. And every ally and every adversary we have in this world will know that the United States in America is back in the leadership business, which is how we must stand with our allies.
As regards Planned Parenthood, anyone who has watched this videotape, I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes. Watch a fully formed fetus on the table, it’s heart beating, it’s legs kicking while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.
There is a contradiction here. On the one hand, you say that life is sacred. On the other hand, if that life belongs to a child in Gaza, then Israel can murder that child at will.
The Planned Parenthood videos are considered phony by a great many people. The repub base likes to believe in far fetched things, so this appeal works. The scene described by Mrs. Fiorina is not present in any of the videos released thus far. Creative editing only goes so far. This lie is easy to disprove.
Ok, back to reality. Towards the end of the affair, the question was “What woman would you like to see on the $10 bill?” Chris Christie began his answer by saying “I think the Adams family has been shorted in the currency business.” Millions of viewers thought Morticia Addams was going to be on the $10 bill. The pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. It is a long time until Georgia Primary, the only time we get a choice.
The Prodigal Son
Luke 15 1 Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them. 3 And he spake this parable unto them, saying, 4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? 5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. 7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. 8 Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? 9 And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost. 10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of G-d over one sinner that repenteth. 11 And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. 25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. 28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. 29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: 30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. 31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found. Text for today’s story is from Bible Gateway. Here is a commentary on The Power of Parable . Here is a discussion about this parable. This is a repost. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Yesterday, this facility published the text of Luke 15, also known as The Prodigal Son. The titular phrase does not appear in the King Jimmy text. The story is a parable, that is, a made up story to teach a lesson. Those who say every word of the Bible is true somehow miss this.
The Prodigal Son is a popular story. It is well known, and speaks of forgiveness. Some unkind people say that Jesus worshipers like to be forgiven, and do not like to forgive. There is plenty of evidence for this observation. Lets just say that lots of people don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. If your pie in the sky hero to forgives you, then you can have a cleaner conscience.
PG was at a memorial service once. The guest of honor was a leather wearing pagan. The minister, who had met the deceased one time, told the story of the Prodigal Son. It made PG feel better.
The forgotten character in this story is the older brother. He was faithful to his father, stayed at home and helped out, only to see his wayward brother welcomed back with joy. The father never killed a fatted calf for the elder brother. Maybe the elder brother deserved it more. Sometimes, life is not fair. Some say this is more than a parable. Maybe it is three units of bull.
Adventures With Obamacare
After making the bold move of getting out of bed, PG was ready for action. He was not afraid to answer the phone. It was a robo call from the Health Insurance Marketplace. There were some issues with your account. Please call this 800 number, and tell them you got this call. PG did not listen fast enough to catch the number. Not that he would call it anyway.
When dealing with Government agencies, it is a good idea to answer phone calls and letters. Even if you thought you covered it, another agent may have a different opinion. Obamacare is sort of a good idea, with multiple implementation issues. Both G-d, and the Devil, are in the details.
The first stop was the O-care website. It had been a while since PG visited this facility. The device asked PG to choose a new password. The link was sent to the email address. The link was selected. First you have to answer the security questions. Since PG wrote down these details, this should be easy. No, the device did not like the answers PG gave. Click on the link, start over, and provide the security questions with a few more capital letters. PG was allowed to create a new password.
The new password was written, copied, and pasted into the appropriate fields. Then it was time to log on to HIM wonderland. The password was pasted into the appropriate field. The device said the password was not correct. Refresh the page, enter the user name, include a capital letter at the start, manually type in the password. Bingo.
The site did not show any problems. The same two messages that PG downloaded in April are still there. It is time to call the HIM 800 number, and talk to a person. Maybe the Health Insurance Marketplace needs a gender neutral acronym. Is Obamacare masculine, or feminine?
So the HIM 800 number is called. PG knew to press zero,and speak to an operator. The voice answering droid asked what state PG was in. Georgia. What was that, we cannot understand you. Georgia, with a bit of anger. We cannot understand you. We need to know what state you bought insurance in. Georgia, a bit louder and angrier. We cannot understand what you are saying. Please enter the zip code in the touch tone keypad.
After seven minutes on hold, a very nice man appeared. He looked in his computer, and did not see any problems. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. The spell check suggestions for robo: robot, rob, robe, hobo.
#Blackslogansmatter
Ray Lewis used to play pro football. Wednesday, he appeared at a “public safety summit” in Newark NJ. Mr. Lewis said “”Remove the word black and say ‘lives matter,’Stop sending mothers back home empty. You can never replace a mother’s child. If we want black lives matter, let’s make it matter to us. That’s the new call.”
Twitter nation was not amused. #Raylewis was a trending subject for a day or so, until the latest hashtag hatching. Tweet superstar Deray Mckesson led the charge. “Who can call Ray Lewis and let him know that “all lives matter” ain’t it? Because this is the only tweet I’ve got for him tonight.”
Many commenters said that Mr. Lewis had killed someone, and should not be discussing whether lives matter. They were referring to an incident in Buckhead, after the 2000 Super Bowl. If you read beyond the headline, you learn that Mr. Lewis almost certainly did not kill the young men. Those calling Mr. Lewis a murderer probably don’t read past the first sentence of his quote.
Many say the City of Atlanta was too hasty in charging Mr. Lewis with the murder. The prospect of a high profile prosecution was enchanting to the local criminal justice establishment. The case quickly fell apart during the trial. Mr. Lewis accepted a plea bargain for lesser charges. This is a common problem, when you allow justice to become a popularity contest.
There is one tweet that stands out. @Delo_Taylor “No @raylewis I will not remove my blackness to appease white supremacy. So disappointed right now. #BlackLivesMatter” Another has been deleted, but lives on nonetheless. “I cant. No patience for coonery.”
It should not be surprising that people say foolish things on twitter. Nor should it be noteworthy for politicians. Newark Mayor Ras Baraka said “People want to talk about violence without talking about inequality because they benefit from inequality,” Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Tomorrow Is Another Day
PG managed to miss the Decatur Book Festival this year. One friend made it.
“This program was followed, after another walk through the vendor area back to the public library’s auditorium, by a staged reading of a short play, Tommorrow Is Another Day. The setting: the apartment of Atlanta novelist Margaret Mitchell and her husband John Marsh, on a morning in December 1939, two days before the movie version of Mitchell’s famous book premiers in Atlanta’s Lowe’s Theater. Mitchell’s African-American housekeeper of many years has almost finished reading Mitchell’s book, and Mitchell asks for her housekeeper’s opinion of it. What the Mitchell’s housekeeper tells Mitchell and her husband made for compelling theater!”
The play is fiction. From what this slack blogger has read about Peggy Marsh, she probably did not give books to her household help. It is possible that the cleaning lady did not know how to read. The playwrite, Addae Moon, had to use dramatic license to tell his side of the story.
“…the 43-year-old black writer found he liked some things about the 79-year-old novel. Not everything, of course. “I got frustrated with it. I had to put it down because I got angry.” But he’d pick it up later and keep going. “I totally understand Margaret’s desire to tell your point of view and your truth, but I also can understand what it feels like to be the victim of someone else’s truth…. It’s easy to be critical of the movie, which is more cartoonish, but, to me, the book is so much more complex.”
It has been a long time since PG read GWTW. It is tough to imagine it from the perspective of a contemporary Black man. GWTW was written by a White woman, of a byegone era. There are many sides to the story. This post will try to tell a few. The rest of it is a double repost from a few years ago. If that does not satisfy your lust for trivia, you can check out the Margaret Mitchell page at find-a-death.com. (It is full of errors, like calling her “Maggie”.) Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
As we started to discuss the other day, PG is reading I Remember Margaret Mitchell by Yolande Gwin. It starts with August 11, 1949. Margaret Mitchell, known to her friends as Peggy Marsh, went to to see “A Canterbury Tale” at the Peachtree Art Theater. She left her apartment on Piedmont Avenue, accompanied by her husband John. They parked across the street, and Mrs. Marsh was struck by a taxi, driven by Hugh D. Gravitt. She died August 16, 1949.
This story contradicts what PG heard about the accident. The other story is that Mrs. Marsh had been at the Atlanta Women’s Club, having cocktails, where her husband met her. In this account, Mrs. Marsh was bombed, and never knew what hit her. (One mile south west, and fifty five years later, PG had an encounter with a speeding taxi.)
On page 23, another myth is challenged. The traditional story is that if you asked Margaret Mitchell if she based Scarlet O’Hara on herself, she would look horrified. “Scarlet O’Hara was a hussy”. This view is challenged by an Atlanta native, who went to a party, and saw that Margaret Mitchell was the life of the party. “Scarlet O’Hara is certainly the personification of Margaret Mitchell”.
Margaret Mitchell was a reporter for the Atlanta Journal. She married John Marsh on July 4, 1925, and injured her ankle in 1926. Every day Mr. Marsh brought home books to his bedridden wife. One day, he brought home a writing pad, and said “You have read everything I’ve brought you so now you write a book.”
The couple lived in a small apartment on Crescent Avenue, across from a mural of a southern colonel. (I would even go north for Southern Bread) They moved out of “the dump”, in 1932, to an apartment at 4 17th Street. When Peggy sold a few books, and John’s career at Georgia Power prospered, they moved to the Della Manta. This was at the corner of Piedmont and South Prado, across from her beloved Piedmont Driving Club.
Mrs. Marsh wrote and wrote, preferring a typewriter to a writing pad. Each chapter was kept in a manila envelope, which were piled up all over the place. Some chapters were re written sixty times. In 1935, Harold Latham, of MacMillan Publishers, was in the south looking for talent. He persuaded Mrs. Marsh to let him look at her book, and would not give it back to her.
The title of her book was borrowed from a poem by Ernest Dawson, Non Sum Qualis Eram Bonae Sub Regno Cynarae . The line of the poem was “I have been faithful to thee, Cynara, (spell check suggestion: Canary) in my fashion; I forgot much Cynara, Gone With The Wind!”
The book became a runaway best seller. Macy’s of New York helped by ordering 50,000 copies. The idea was to offer GWTW as a loss leader, as Gimbels was doing. Federal price controls ruled this to be illegal, and Macy’s returned 35,000 copies to the publisher.
The first printing of GWTW has a mistake on the back page. The book was published June 30, 1936. The first edition says, on back of the title page, “Published May 1939”.
David Selznick bought the rights to GWTW, and you probably know the rest of that story. Shortly before the premiere of GWTW, someone at the Piedmont Driving Club pulled a chair out from under Mrs. Marsh. She had not started to stand up. Mrs. Marsh crashed hard on the floor, and hurt her back. This would require two rounds of back surgery.
Celestine Sibley tells a story about the Atlanta Women’s Press Club. Miss Sibley moved to Atlanta in 1941, and went to her first AWPC meeting, at the Henry Grady Hotel. “A plump little woman in a funny Carmen Miranda style hat” noticed the newcomer, and started to talk to her. In the early days of the war, there were blackouts, to save the city from German bombers. The plump little woman was an air raid warden in the area around Piedmont Park. Finally, Miss Sibley said she had to go catch the Piedmont-Morningside bus. Peggy Marsh said she had a car, and could take her home.
PG is reading I Remember Margaret Mitchell by Yolande Gwin. It is a collection of memories of Peggy Marsh, who wrote “Gone with the Wind”. ( If you didn’t know that, just close this window, and go look for your “friends” on facebook.)
Yolande Gwin was for many years the society editor of the Atlanta Constitution. She wrote a review of GWTW in 1936, before it’s publication. Mrs. Marsh sent her a letter of appreciation… “I never dreamed you were going to give me so much space. I thought, as the resume of the story was so long. that you’d just give an introductory paragraph and let me ride. And I’d have ridden, just as happy as a n—-r at a hog killing. But all that space, so long a story. so completely flattering a story – well. I’m still blushing about the ankles, as Jurgen once remarked … And oh, Yolande. how nice of you to refer to me as a “young author!” Me, who have passed the broiling stage and the frying stage and am rapidly approaching the roasting and baking stage. “
There is probably going to be a second post about I Remember Margaret Mitchell. Chamblee54 is not responsible for GWTW junkies who overdose on Margaret Mitchell trivia. This post is about fact checking, google, and how a couple of simple questions can turn into an all afternoon goose chase.
There are two basic questions: Was Yolande Gwin married, and did she work for the Journal or the Constitution? As for the first, the expression Ms. sounds like a mosquito with a speech impediment, and is not appropriate for use with an society page writer. The trouble is, Miss or Mrs. depends on the marital status of the woman. After an hour or so of looking up google results, PG cannot find out whether or not Yolande Gwin was married. Sometimes, the correct answer is “I don’t know”.
As for the second, an obituary for the lady says that she wrote for the Journal-Constitution for fifty years. The fact is, the Journal and Constitution were separate papers until they were combined in 1982. (Cox Enterprises bought the Constitution in 1950. This made the Journal and the Constitution sister papers, rather than competitors.) As for who Yolande Gwin wrote for, there are contradictory stories on the internet. A google book about rural electrification says that Yolande Gwin wrote for the Constitution. The Atlanta History Center says the Yolande Gwin wrote for the Journal. They have a picture of the lady, with a ghastly AHC watermark across her face.
Another google book, The last linotype: the story of Georgia and its newspapers since World War II By Millard B. Grimes confirms that Yolande Gwin worked for the Constitution. “”One day I was sitting there looking at a blank sheet of paper; I didn’t have any news. And that’s when I happened to remember kidding Peggy (Margaret Mitchell) about writing the “Great American Novel.” so I called her up and said, ‘How about that Great American Novel. have you ever finished it? I need some news.’ She said, ‘You won’t believe it, but Macmillan has taken it.’ And I said, ‘Goody, goody. Grand.’ And I put a piece in the column (written under the name Sally Forth) about it, never expecting it to be what it was, you know.” The dale was February 9, 1936.”
Labor Day
@UberFacts 86% of graffiti in men’s bathrooms is erotic in nature, compared to just 25% in women’s bathrooms, according to a study. ~ There is a logical fallacy there ~ Why did you steal his eye shadow? ~ When you want to spread a message, the first step is to earn the trust of the person you are speaking to. ~ How does someone that ugly get married four times? ~ Maybe we should rename the Lester Maddox Highway, behind GA Tech near Northside Drive, the Chattahoochee Freeway. ~ To say that G-d is dead presupposes that she ever existed ~ @EdDarrell @TIMENOUT maybe we should take a break from using the labels liberal, conservative, racist, terrorist especially racist ~ The road to heaven is paved with bad intentions. ~ The church sign said “Pray like a grown up” ~ I basically like this thought. However, the “with the lord” part is a problem. There are other ways to express that thought. ~ Two sentences in a row where Mr. Drezner says Scott Walker, and respect, in same sentence ~ @duchessgoldblat I’m laid up, friends. I slipped and suffered a plot twist. The doctors are baffled. Send flowers and love. ~ At least on FB you can say what you like without being interrupted. Ok, now that I’ve said something good, now for what I really think ~ Is it cultural appropriation to use “ass” as an adjective? ~ I wouldn’t know. I don’t consume corporate media. ~ “clusterfuck of frustration” ~ the wine kicks in ~ i hate when that happens ~ Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth Marcus Aurelius ~ There is a discussion at wikiquotes, “Is This a Real Marcus Aurelius quote?” Since Mr. Aurelius died in 180 AD, there is probably room for conjecture. This quote is definitely a translation, which could be a third level of confusion. ~ There is also Southern Fried Queer Pride. One of their events was a T-POC only cookout. ~ How many Syrian refugees has Israel taken in? ~ @TrivWorks Update: Kentucky county clerk refuses to accept Tom Brady’s suspension release #deflategate ~ @TooMessedUp I just got banned from Christian Mingle. Apparently “Hung_Like_Jesus” isn’t an appropriate user name! ~ Hey kid you wanna buy some candy? ~ guess tin is easier to say, and spell, than aluminum ~ Is this what people mean by giving head? ~ Why do they call this thing a status ~ Mr. Drezner ~ 5 Valuable Ways to Use Your White Privilege to Fight Anti-Black Racism ~ WTH, LAMESTREAM MEDIA! STAY OUT OF MY BIBLE ~ 25 Emotions People Feel, But Can’t Explain ~The following is a turn of words I thought of today, and this may, or may not, be a good time to say it … with social media contacts like that who needs deletions. ~ I want to see Jon Stewart debate Bill O’Reilly in front of a Fox news audience. Their last encounter was before an audience sympathetic to Mr. Stewart. On second thought, I am not interested enough to watch. ~ Not only has JMG been under DDoS attacks this week, last night haters flagged my Facebook account. Just now I had to login to a suicide prevention page before being allowed to continue. ~ #KimDavis has better hair than #BernieSanders. ~ Sparklez I looked for your “last comment” and could not find it. ~ realizing he is reality nonconforming was liberating now if only people would believe he does not miss jesus ~ Kids is gender neutral ~ Hey guys we really shouldn’t attack Kim Davis based on her terrible appearance. There are plenty of reasons to hate her that have nothing to do with how ugly she is. ~ We can always talk about how ugly BS is. ~ trash comments say more about the commenter than you. this is not always comforting to know ~ my pc keyboard was found on the street when someone threw it away ~ @nihilist_arbys Aaaand the weekend has begun! Enjoy your last quickly dwindling moments on this earth being herpes free, & please enjoy arbys. ~ Maybe Israel can take in some refugees from Syria. ~ According to wikipedia, Amen is a Hebrew/Greek derived expression meaning “so be it”. The resemblance to the plural word for male human beings is a coincidence. ~ New Orleans Radical Faeries is a good acronym ~ You get the workout going uphill and have fun going downhill. ~ ~ @janetmock @chescaleigh Funny non judgmental honest are not words I would use to describe MTV decoded ~ Some people would say that liberal minded is an oxymoron. ~ What is it about religion and politics that makes people produce so many words? ~ What is frustrating is people who do not listen. If you try to say anything, some people will not hesitate to interrupt. This is the one advantage I see to online discussions. ~ same reason poc get upset when pwoc mention black on black crime ~ when you wrestle with a hog, you get dirty, and the pig has a good time ~ seeing #SarahPalin as the top trending subject wondering what she has done now ~ insert meaningless words here to even out things ~ pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. ~ selah
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