The Peanut Butter Meme
A facebook friend posted a meme this morning. There is a picture of a piece of bread, covered in peanut butter. There is forty point, sans serif, text pasted on the condiment. “If someone ever tells you that you’re putting too much peanut-butter on your bread, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.”
PG dabbles in graphics. When he saw the meme, the first thing he saw were the words “your life” at the bottom. Six longer lines of text were stacked on top of “your life.” This creates a top heavy look. PG made a comment: “A meme is different from a peanut butter sandwich. There are too many words in this meme. If they had stopped after “negativity”, there would not be two words at the bottom by themselves. The result is a top heavy graphic. The words “in your life” do not add anything to the overall message. This is not negativity, this is editing.”
There are more issues with the peanut butter meme. This is a sacred saturday, after a long week at work. If PG wants to write snarky commentaries about a facebook picture, that should be his right. No one is making you read this. If you want to skip the text, and look at the pictures (from The Library of Congress,) go ahead. The images are from the FSA depression era collection.
We live in a selfish society. It is all about “your life.” The concept of scarce goods is not considered. What if there is only enough peanut butter (without the dash) for two regular sandwiches, or one super duper helping? Is it negativity to ask someone to share?
“If someone ever tells you … stop talking to them.” Are two people talking at the same time? Or, is one person talking, and the other listening? Maybe the meme should say stop listening to them. But, we are a self oriented culture. Listening is seen as weakness. Talking is seen as confident action. If someone says something you don’t like, don’t talk to them.
You probably weren’t listening anyway. It is all about you, and your desire to pile on the peanut butter. Maybe that is why it was important to add the words “in your life” to the text. The fact that there was not enough room does not matter. It is all about your life. If this throws the overall picture out of balance, that is too bad.
Unusual Personality Test
Internet tests are not as inevitable as death and taxes. They don’t have as many deductions, yet. Jesus did not take a buzzfeed quiz for you. The latest to wash up on this shore is “Unusual Personality Test That Will Reveal Much about Your Perception of Life.” Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
This one is self graded. You write a reaction to eight statements. One through four is how you feel about something. Five through eight are what you would do.
SPOILER ALERT If you want to take this quiz, do not read the rest of this post. Go ahead, take the test, and come back to compare notes.
This report will have one persons report card. The prompt question will be green. The answer will be blue. The INTERPRETATION will be in purple. If you look in the internet comments, you will see that others had the same answer to number three.
1. You are peering into the sea, what do you feel? 1. I want to go in and swim in the foaming waters. 1. Your attitude to life, emotions, sensations.
2. You are walking through the woods and look at the ground. 2. I feel the air going through my lungs, my heart beating, and energy wafting out from the trees. 2. The way you feel in your own family.
3. What do you feel when looking at flying seagulls? 3. I hope they crap somewhere other than on me. 3. Your attitude towards women.
4. What about a herd of horses? 4. I have never seen a heard of horses. 4. Your attitude to men.
5. You are in the desert, standing by the wall with a small hole, behind which you see the oasis. What are your actions? 5. I would make sure i have my credit card handy. 5. Your basic life strategy and goal. The way you solve your problems.
6. You are still in the desert, completely exhausted, and suddenly see a water jug. 6. I would be leery of that mysterious jug. I like to think that i take care of myself. That will not happen, as is the case with number five. 6. How selective you are in sexual life. Choice of a partner.
7. You are lost in the woods in the evening and see a house with lights on. 7. Stay away from the house. If it is winter, and the leaves are off, the house could be a long way away. I will turn the flashlight back on. 7. Your readiness for marriage.
8. You’re in the fog. 8. I like fog. The out of doors reminds me of the inside of my head. I would make sure I am warm, and glory in the fogginess. 8. Your attitude to death.
Date Rape Drug Warning
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘Beer ‘.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large kegs. ‘Beer ‘ is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of ‘Beer’ and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several applications of ‘Beer ‘, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with women to whom they would never normally be attracted. Men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’ . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after ‘Beer ‘ is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this ‘Beer ‘ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.
This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. Gender modification, for contemporary society, is available by appointment. Here is a more graphic warning demonstration.
Ru Paul
Years ago, PG worked with someone who liked to say “and a ru hu hu.” This was shortened to ru, and was usually said very loud. Ru became a greeting.
About this time, Ru Paul was living in Atlanta. Many people remember her (“RuPaul Andre Charles, best known mononymously as RuPaul”) as a spectacular self promoter. Ru Paul would sit in an apartment balcony, and wave at cars passing by. Posters for her band, Wee Wee Pole, were on telephone poles up and down Ponce de Leon Avenue.
One night, Ru Paul was working as a gogo dancer in a club called Weekends. During a break, PG went over to talk to her. The use of ru as a greeting was mentioned. Soon, some people came over, and PG started to leave. Before PG could get away, Ru Paul turned to PG, lifted her index finger, and said “Keep on saying my name.”
Ru Paul went on to become famous. Weekends was torn down, and is the site of the Federal Reserve Bank. PG is PG, with occasional excursions into R and NC17. PG does not watch much TV, and has never seen an episode of “Ru Paul’s Drag Race.” This is a TV show about a TV.
There is a recent controversy about RPDR. It seems that the phrase shemale has been used. Some people are offended by this. The expression is no longer used on the show.
PG has only one trans person friend. Sashia is the first person that PG heard use the expression shemale. PG does not know if Sashia still uses this expression. It has been a while since PG learned this expression, and ideas about language do change. Spell check suggestion for Sashia: Hashish.
The use of offensive language is to be avoided. If you know something is going to hurt people, then you should avoid saying it. There is a good possibility that Ru Paul knew what she was doing, and just didn’t care. The problem comes when you haven’t received the latest update from the language authorities. Keeping up with with is cool to say can be a full time job. Is it still ok to say ru?
Pictures from The Library of Congress. The images are of women, training to be bus drivers and taxi drivers. This was in Washington DC, November 1942. The photographer was Andreas Feininger, working for the Office of War Information. The picture of a dipstick demonstration is #8d36666.
Roll Model Biscuit Model
An internet facility (IF) called Mind Openerz recently posted a feature, Charles Bukowski’s Top 10 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life. Hank writes enjoyable stories and poems. This does not make him a role model. Even if the tales of degenerate lifestyle were exageratted for public consumption, as many suspect, the butt ugly drunkard is nothing to aspire to.
One thing to admire about Hank (a publisher thought that Charles would be a better selling pen name) was the volume of product. He would write dozens of poems, with the lines popping out “like hot turds the morning after a good beer drunk.” Keep the quantity up, and the quality takes care of itself.
Many of the rules for living were taken from his short stories. PG recently stumbled through Tales of Ordinary Madness, and recognized a few. Hank would toss words of wisdom into stories about being arrested. One time, it was for threatening to rape a lady with a codfish. You can’t beat fun at the old ballpark. Of course, Hank hated baseball, and hated poetry that rhymes. PG writes rhyming poems, with pictures of dogs in the background. Hank is dead, and his opinion doesn’t count.
The fun starts with rule number eight. “8. Have confidence in yourself. “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts.” You are awesome, and all you have to do to let your true talents shine is believe that fact. Have complete confidence in yourself and you might be surprised with all you can achieve.”
Several of the stories of ordinary madness involve people who think they are poets, show work to Hank, and are insulted for the lousy ouput. The line in number eight was familiar, but PG was too slack to go looking through ordinary madness to find it. This is where you ask Mr. Google for help. The full quote: “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
Gasoline Tactics
This information was originally posted six years ago. PG received a chain letter email about gasoline prices, with these suggestions. With demand increasing, and supply decreasing, the price of petroleum is going to go up. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline. When it gets warmer gasoline expands. When you pump in the afternoon or in the evening… your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline plays an important role.
When you’re filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. You should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you’re getting less fuel for your money.
Fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The more gas you have in your tank the less air is occupying the empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you might imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation.
If there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop , DO NOT fill up–most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered. You might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom.
Twenty Questions
Someone in twitterland posted a link, 20 Questions to Ask New Employees. Since I might be in the job market again soon, maybe it would be easier to prepare the answers in advance. Here goes. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
01. Do you have any tattoos you regret? What/where is it? No. Having a tattoo installed has always seemed too painful to contemplate. There are tattoos that I regret seeing on other people, but that memory is safely repressed.
02. If you had to marry one serial killer from history, who would it be? (You won’t be a victim.) Another feature of twitter these days is FaithVoters4Hillary. It is obvious that any husband of hers can do whatever, and whomever, he/she pleases. As Secretary of State, Hillary has supervised the demise of countless children in Pakistan. She makes Charles Manson look like a sunday school teacher.
03. What would you do if I put a live octopus on your desk? Take it to a restaurant on Buford Hiway. There are only so many stray dogs.
04. Biggie or Tupac? I don’t use cologne. Why should I have to choose between those two brands?
05. Are you the kind of person who chit-chats in the public restroom during a tandem pee session? Only during a full moon.
06. Have you ever stolen a pen that writes exceptionally well from a restaurant? I thought it was half a set of chopsticks.
07. Do you (know) anyone who’s killed someone? If so, was it at your behest? If so, how concerned should I be about staying on your good side? This is a trick question.
08. Have you ever owned a water pick? Why? I was trying to clean the grout in the shower. That was the only thing that came close to working, and not very well.
09. What are your thoughts on cubicle farting? If I was in a cubicle that farted, I would move. This might be an issue for OSHA.
10. If you were ever in a situation where you knew you were definitely going to be cut in half, would you rather be cut length-wise or width-wise? (You’re going to die either way; this is a preference question, not a survival question.) More information is needed. Is it a laser, or a band saw? It would be a different answer for each one.
11. Do you eat fragrant foods at your desk, and if so, how important is it to you? This question makes fun of certain religions. It is not an acceptable question.
12. On a scale of 1, not at all, to 10, you’re a filthy scumbag, how much will you judge me for wearing the same dress pants two (or more) days in a row? Dress pants is an expression that does not make sense. You can wear a dress. You can wear pants. Technically you could wear pants under a dress, but why would you want to?
13. Do you have any spouses or children I should know about right now? If no, please don’t bring them up in subsequent conversation and expect me to know who you’re talking about. Only if Bill gives Hillary the divorce she needs.
14. Do you plan on getting any unconventional haircuts during your tenure here? How convincing do you expect me to be when I tell you it looks great? The opposite of con is pro. Do I get unproventional haircuts? These are installed under anesthesia. Will insurance pay for this?
15. Of all the people you’ve met so far, who would you feel the least conflicted about trampling in the event of an emergency evacuation? The cashier at WalMart who told me that pennies were not welcome as payment.
16. Do you know exactly how many moles you have on your body? If yes, is the reason dermatological or just creepy? Mole is a sauce. If I were to apply a condiment to my body, it would be mustard.
17. Are you actually qualified to do the job you were hired for? It would be silly to fill this part out before I know what job I am applying for? If the job is a full time liar, then of course I am qualified.
18. Do you participate in any uncommon hobbies? If yes, please allow me some time to prepare my reaction for that Friday when you suddenly mention you’re going to an Anime convention. I copy lists of joke questions off the internet and post answers on my blog.
19. Do you intend on stabbing me in the back/making me look bad sometime in the near future? If yes, please understand my efforts to get everyone in the office to hate you will begin immediately. If you are going to hire me, you already look bad enough.
20. For how long do you reasonably expect me to smile every time I see you around the office like you’re a tourist that doesn’t speak English? As long as necessary.
Mrs. Fenton
There is a bit of urban legend mongering on the innertubes these days. It shows a letter. It is from the manager of a Kmart in Reno, NV. It tells “Mrs. Fenton” not to go shopping there anymore. It seems as though her husband has been misbehaving.
Here is the text of the letter. Mr. Fenton: August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-buy. October 4: Looked straight in to the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
The wet blankets at snopes say the letter is a fake. This page is sponsored by an ad for a book, Journey to the Cross: Reflecting on 24 Hours That Changed the World. You can’t make this stuff up.
Mrs. Fenton lived at 35 Rasmussen Street, Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503. Google maps has never heard of this address. Kmart Store 4855 was located at Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503. This is a side street, with no current signs of Kmarttage.
The letter is good for a laugh. The problems might come when some person is inspired to try one of the pranks. After all, an earlier title of the piece was “Things to do at Wal-Mart while your family is taking forever to finish shopping.” The person who has to clean up after “Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms” will not be amused. Maybe you should tell this person to lighten up, and get a sense of humor. Do not try this in a stand your ground state.
A similar lack of respect for humanity is seen in fake crime videos. In the one linked to, two men try breaking into a car. One is treated more rudely by the police. This video inspired much hand wringing about unfair treatment of minorities.
With all the real crimes being perpetrated, why are these pinheads staging a fake crime? They are making a video, to illustrate their social commentary. Police should be fighting real crime, not playing the bad guy in a youtube adventure. This makes about as much sense as “While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.”
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Your Life On Text
An all caps graphic washes up on the digital shores from time to time. The author, and copyright status, are not known. It was not written here. Reading it can be a chore, even though it looks cool. It is also selfish… the only opinion that matters is the individual reading it. It doesn’t have a good beat, but you can dance to it. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
This is your life.
Do what you love, and do it often.
If you don’t like something, change it.
If you don’t like your job, quit.
If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop:
They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
Stop over analyzing, life is simple
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people,
We are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is,
And share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often, getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them
So go out and start creating.
Life is short. Live your dream, and wear your passion.
“Do you have to be a poet? If you don’t have to be a poet, be a prose writer. You’ll get further faster. Poetry — there’s probably more poetry published today than any time in the history of the world. Nevertheless, there is this — people think they have this blindness when they see a line in the typography of poetry, and it just blocks them. So if you can say the same thing in prose, you’ll probably be better off” Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Chamblee54 
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