Is Sarah Silverman Funny? Part Two
There was a “promoted” tweet yesterday. @Scribd New on our blog! Laugh So Hard You’ll Pee, The 15 Funniest Lines From Sarah Silverman’s Book http://ow.ly/xGwYG. Usually annoucements like this include the word new. The book, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee, was published April 20, 2010. That fact may be the funnier than the 15 lines.
Most of the lines were embedded in pictures, which means a blogger would have to retype them. This is too much work. The few in text form were not very funny. But then, neither is Sarah Silverman.
At this point life interrupts. A facility called yeah write had a contest. They wanted 42 words answering the question “What’s that sound?” The chamblee54 answer was Is Sarah Silverman Funny? The contest opened for entries at midnight sunday. PG was dealing with food poisoning, and in no shape to enter a writing contest. By the time he was better, the contest was full of entries.
Miss Silverman gave a TED talk. The big dog at TT said it was “G-d awful,” and did not allow it to be officially released. As part of his research for this project, PG saw the video. The last seven words of the poem: “don’t make me listen to it again.”
The publisher has a survey “to see if this is the book for you.” The only way PG gets books is at yard sales and the library. It will be interesting to see if the survey mentions those venues.
“1. Which of the following do you appreciate? (a) Women with somewhat horse-ish facial features. (b) Women who, while not super Jew-y, are more identifiably Jewish than, say, Natalie Portman. (c) Frequent discussion of unwanted body hair.
2. Are you offended by the following behavior? (a) Instructing one’s grandmother to place baked goods in her rectal cavity. (b) Stripping naked in public—eleven times in a row. (c) Stabbing one’s boss in the head with a writing implement.
3. The best way to treat an emotionally fragile young girl is: (a) Murder the main course of her Thanksgiving dinner before her very eyes. (b) Tell her that her older sister is prettier than she, and then immediately die. (c) Prevent her suicide by recommending she stay away from open windows.
If you read the above questions without getting nauseous or forming a hate Web site, you are ready to buy this book! Please proceed to the cashier.”
The survey did not indicate whether the book would be at the library, or a yard sale, soon. After four years, it is probably available in discount bins. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Inspiration Porn
There is a lovely TED talk in the weekly email. The title is “I’m not your inspiration, thank you very much.” The speaker, Stella Young, delivers the message while sitting in a wheelchair.
The concept here is that *disabled* people are people. They are not here to inspire you. They are not intended to show you how bad your life could be, so you should appreciate what you have.
Ms. Young has a talent for words. She says some things much better than this slack blogger. TED talks include a transcript, aka the lazy bloggers friend. Laziness is not considered a disability.
…these images, there are lots of them out there, they are what we call inspiration porn. And I use the term porn deliberately, because they objectify one group of people for the benefit of another group of people. So in this case, we’re objectifying disabled people for the benefit of nondisabled people. … I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve been approached by strangers wanting to tell me that they think I’m brave or inspirational, and this was long before my work had any kind of public profile. They were just kind of congratulating me for managing to get up in the morning and remember my own name. And it is objectifying. These images, those images objectify disabled people for the benefit of nondisabled people. They are there so that you can look at them and think that things aren’t so bad for you, to put your worries into perspective. …
I really think that this lie that we’ve been sold about disability is the greatest injustice. It makes life hard for us. And that quote, “The only disability in life is a bad attitude,” the reason that that’s bullshit is because it’s just not true, because of the social model of disability. No amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever made it turn into a ramp. Never. (Laughter) (Applause) Smiling at a television screen isn’t going to make closed captions appear for people who are deaf. No amount of standing in the middle of a bookshop and radiating a positive attitude is going to turn all those books into braille. It’s just not going to happen.”
EMIT (Educate Motivate Inspire Tripe) is in your inbox everyday. Yesterday, this tweet sent PG down the rabbit hole. @chescaleigh “There’s a nasty rumor about racism, and it needs to die. Thankfully @the1janitor is here to help (via @Upworthy)” There was a link to Here’s What Morgan Freeman Had To Say About Racism, And Here’s A Guy Explaining What He Got Wrong.
The intro to the video said, among other things, “Every black person is going to have a different opinion/experience/perspective when it comes to racism.” This sentence got PG in a twitter exchange.
@chamblee54 @chescaleigh @the1janitor @Upworthy the intro said every black person has a different take on racism. so does every white person
@chescaleigh @chamblee54 didn’t deny that. but a white person’s perspective on racism lacks experiencing racism. so that’s a very different convo
@chamblee54 @chescaleigh i agree and disagree ~ white ppl experience prejudice ~ the semantics get in the way of understanding other people
@chescaleigh @chamblee54 white ppl experience prejudice not racism. They’re both shitty but not the same. Sounds like u need to read the link I posted
@chamblee54 @chescaleigh have glanced over article ~ re:#2, have been the only pwoc ~ i could go point by point, and might later on blog ~ thx 4 reply
PG saw the Upworthy video. A young man said that people need to talk about racism. He said nothing about listening. A poster for the University of Alabama football team was in the background. The exploitation of young black men, by college athletics, was not mentioned.
The article @chescaleigh linked to was 18 Things White People Should Know/Do Before Discussing Racism. It is poorly written, and full of logical fallacies. Here is item 3. “3. Oprah’s success does not mean the end of racism. The singular success of a Black man or woman (i.e. Oprah, or Tiger Woods, or President Obama) is never a valid argument against the existence of racism. By this logic, the success of Frederick Douglas or Amanda America Dickson during the 19th century would be grounds for disproving slavery.”
There was one last tweet. It was deleted a little while after being sent. Sometimes, it is best to use discretion. @chamblee54 @chescaleigh I read “18 things…” it was not very helpful.
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. UPDATE: Here is the reply post, The Problem with 18 things. UPDATE: Stella Young died December 7, 2014.
Proverbs 26
The folks at WIST had a nifty quote this morning. “Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain. The fun starts with the attribution. “Frequently attributed to Twain, but also to Immanuel Kant (but never, in either case, with any citation). See also Proverbs 26:4.” Maybe WIST Kant remember where he heard it.
There are several chestnuts that are similar. “You should never wrestle with a pig. You will just get dirty, and the hog will enjoy it.” “Never argue with an idiot. He will pull you down to his level, and beat you with experience.” Both are attributed to a host of famous people. None of the fp expressed it in a verifiable manner. The internet has made the problem of who-said-what worse.
The fun really starts when you go to Proverbs 26:4, and continue to Proverbs 26:5. 4 Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit. Verse 5 contradicts verse 4.
Proverbs 26 has more to offer. Many of these verses might apply to the fervent Jesus worshipers of today. 11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. 17 He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears. 26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation. 27 Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him. 28 A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Positive Attitude Prattle
Somewhere along the line, the boss decides you have a “negative attitude”. From that point on, you are not allowed to complain. It is almost as if it were a gimmick to keep you in line.
A lady named Barbara Ehrenreich agrees that there is entirely too much positive attitude required of people. She wrote a book, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. In one interview, she says “And again, you know, don’t worry about the world. Don’t ask the question about where the cancer comes from. Don’t ask why so many people are not employed, even in good times in our country. And it was the same sort of thing. And that’s when I began to think hey, this kind of operates as a way of quelling discontent, quelling dissent, you know, when you can’t say I’m mad about -whatever. You just have to swallow it and smile.”
Ms. Ehrenreich was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000. She found herself in a pink tsunami of cheerfulness. The pink teddy bears did not do anything for her spirits. The whole culture of happy talk, about a life threatening illness. grossed her out.
At one point, she was given a tote bag. In it were some crayons. I said, “This is really nice, but what’s with the crayons?” And this woman said to me, “Well, that’s in case you want to write down any of your thoughts.” And I said, “I’m a writer. I don’t use crayons.”
The promotional interviews quoted here were conducted in 2009. This was before the Susan G. Komen foundation hired Karen Handel. During the Planned Parenthood meltdown, some unflattering things came out about the SGK foundation. It probably did not help Ms. Ehrenreich’s attitude.
So the book happened. PG has not read it, but has seen a few reviews and interviews. The New York Times has a great review. It says “America’s can-do optimism has hardened into a suffocating culture of positivity that bears little relation to genuine hope or happiness.”
One interview has a stomach churning comment. It should be noted that this is the lady talking, and that there is no confirmation of this. “Yeah. And here’s something that really horrified me that I learned recently and put in the book, is that some breast cancer support groups expel people who go into metastasis and who are clearly going to die. You can’t be in the group because just your presence might bring other people down.” (A google search of the phrase “breast cancer support groups expel people who go into metastasis ” shows little support for this story. Two front page results involve Barbara Ehrenreich interviews. Skepticism should not be limited to positive motivation.)
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
WTF RuPaul
RuPaul is no stranger to attention being thought strange. The latest bit of publicity… there is no bad publicity, and they spell the name right … is an article in the eyeball grabbing HuffPo, RuPaul Responds To Controversy Over The Word ‘Tranny’. (Spell check suggestion: Granny) PG gave into temptation, and clicked on the link. It seems as though there was an appearance on the WTF podcast. Why settle for a sensational sample, when you can hear the entire show?
If you have an hour and twenty four minutes to spare, listen to this show. If you like, you can skip the first thirteen minutes, which is host Mark Maron talking about himself. The show is highly entertaining. A theme is that the world is the matrix, a fake construction. Some people look behind the curtain and see the wizard. Some people believe the matrix is reality. You should already know which side RuPaul takes. He was not born blonde.
The quote about the T-word comes toward the end of the show. PG has mixed feelings about the whole affair, and does not completely agree with RuPaul. However, this human being is entitled to an opinion. Even if he isn’t, he is going to share it anyway. RuPaul does not suffer from false modesty.
For a show that gets attention about language, it is a bit strange at times. While describing his career trajectory, RuPaul says he went through a phase of “gender f-word.” The show is called WTF. Twice a week, the host says fuck a dozen times in the first sixty seconds. And RuPaul said “gender f-word.”
Even more amazingly, RuPaul said that things were “n-word rigged”. RuPaul did break down and say the ultimate dirty word. When his mother saw his act on television, she said “N****** you crazy.”
RuPaul has had quite a career. He mentions that he has been sober for fifteen years, and had some therapy to get there. This was not the case when he lived in Atlanta. Many stories from those days are in the show. The bs detector went off a couple of times. PG saw the Now Explosion, and did not remember seeing a tall black guy.
This is a rich seventy five minutes. Like saying that Madonna is a curator, that most fashion designers don’t know how to sew. The part that is getting the attention is towards the end of the show, and is just a small part. It is all part of the matrix.
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Untalented Unprincipled Bewildered
There is a quote by Al Capp, the creator of the comic strip “Li’l Abner.” “Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” This tidbit originally appeared in The National Observer, July 1, 1963.
Al Capp, born Alfred Gerald Caplin, was a piece of work. Mr. Capp did not keep his opinions to himself. When PG was a kid, he heard Mr. Capp appearing on an NBC radio show, Monitor. This was about the time he called Joan Baez “Joanie Phonie,” and got some bad press.
At the age of nine, a trolly accident cost Mr. troll Capp his left leg. Years later, an urban legend arose. “in a televised face-off, either Capp (on the Dick Cavett Show) or (more commonly) conservative talk show host Joe Pyne (on his own show) is supposed to have taunted iconoclastic musician Frank Zappa about his long hair, asking Zappa if he thought he was a girl. Zappa is said to have replied, “You have a wooden leg; does that make you a table?” (Both Capp and Pyne had wooden legs.)
Maybe Mr. Zappa was inspired by Mr. Capp in other ways. In an 1977 interview with a staff writer for the Toronto Star newspaper named Bruce Kirkland,. Mr. Zappa got quotable. “Most rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read,”
There are other quotes in this style. These are taken from this article. PG is tired of looking for attribution. If you are interested in the veracity of these quotes, Mr. Google is ready when you are. “The successful author is the one who can write for the ones who can’t read.” Will Rogers “Time and Newsweek are made for people who can’t think, Life is made for people who can’t read, and the Saturday Evening Post is made for people who can’t read or think.” George Wallace
There was a saying during the Vietnam War. “The unwilling, led by the incompetent, to do the unnecessary, for the ungrateful.” The credit/blame for this is assigned to Mother Theresa, Konstantin Josef Jireček, and an anonymous American soldier.
Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. The last picture features Georgia Governor Herman Talmadge. He is the possible inspiration for some of these quotes. The Al Capp quote that started it all was posted by WIST. The acronym represents Wish I’d Said That. They post quotes. Unlike most quotemongers, they provide a source.
Responsible For Jesus
It was a sunday evening, and there was nothing good to say. Rather than not saying anything at all, PG decided to go into his archives. This post is from May of 2007. It is about responsible behavior, and a religion that does not encourage it. This repost might be hypocritical, but no one forced you to read it. Part two is another rerun. It is written in first person. The pictures, from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”, need text between them.
It all started when a girl went to a back room with a former boyfriend. Her current bf stormed out of the party, and flipped his car when it went off the road. Being a star quarterback did not prevent the fatal consequences. The local radio whiner had a few things to say. Since alcohol was a suspected factor, the question became, “how do we teach teenagers to drink responsibly?”
PG is a retired drunk, and has a few dozen opinions on this issue. His wandering mind settled on a related subject…Jesus. G-d’s love baby is similar to alcohol. Both are legal, both have potential for good and ill, and neither works for PG. The thought occurred “How do we teach Teenagers to Worship Jesus Responsibly?” Now, this may be the first time those two concepts have been paired like that…Jesus and Responsibility…but it should not be the last.
A central concept in the world of Jesus Worship is the avoidance of responsibility…”Jesus paid the price for my sins on the cross”. While you may feel better to think you are forgiven, that does not help the person who was hurt by your actions. If star the quarterback had run into someone, G-d might forgive him, but this does not help with the medical bills.
Today’s seminar is about the Worshiping Responsibly. It is about having respect for your neighbors who do not agree with you, and do not want to hear about your “salvation”. It is about not creating ill will for Jesus with obnoxious behavior in his name. It is about not dragging Jesus into your personal quarrels, using his name in anger to hurt your neighbor. It is about Responsibility. Your actions have consequences, and just because you are doing it for Jesus does not eliminate that reality.
There are two big reasons why PG is not a Jesus Worshiper. The first one is, he simply doesn’t agree with the teachings. The Bible is not the word of G-d, Jesus was killed because he was a troublemaker. The death, and reputed resurrection, of Jesus has nothing to do with what happens to people when they die. If you don’t agree with the dogma regarding life after death, the Jesus worship church has little to offer you. Christianity is more a scheme for life after death than a religion.
The Second reason is the sorry behavior of Jesus Worshipers. This prevents PG from having a cosmetic, social oriented membership in a church. He does not want to pretend to worship a spirit which causes him misery.
Responsibility is not valued in the Jesus Worship community. Respect for non believers is seen as a sign of weakness. And, while not all Jesus Worshipers are fanatics, many admire and support the loudmouths who give their faith a bad name.
When it comes to belief, moderation is not valued. Fanaticism is admired. There is little responsibility taken. It is just the Jesus talking.
Christopher Isherwood once said, in a magazine interview, that the doctrine of a religion is not as important as the person who tells you that doctrine. (If anyone can find this quote on the internet, please leave a comment with a link.) It is a common belief that religions are about beliefs, but many find that it is the person who draws you into the community. A corollary of this is when you have a bad experience with a person who represents a religion. This person can drive you far away from wanting to have any participation in a religion. The idea that G-d would send a person to hell because he knew an offensive Jesus worshiper is tough to believe.
So much for world affairs. It is time to tell a story, with no moral and no redeeming social value.
In 1980, I was staying at a place called the Sea Haven Hostel, affectionately known as Sleaze Haven. This was in Seattle WA, as far as you can get from Atlanta, and still be in the lower 48. I was working through Manpower, and staying in a semi private room for $68 a month.
There was a Christian group that met in the basement on Sunday Night. Now, as some of you may know, I am a recovering baptist, who hasn’t been to church since 1971. However, the lure of a free meal was hard to resist, so I went to a few meetings.
One night, after doing quality control work on the local beer supply, I cheerfully joined in the discussion. This was the night when I realized that the Bible is not the Word of G-d, a concept that has been very handy in dealing with the clumsy efforts of our Jesus-mad culture to convert me.
They seemed to like me, though, and welcomed me back. Maybe it was the southern accent.
One Sunday, after the dinner was finished , it was time to have a prayer to begin the meeting. I raised my hand. Now, Jesus Worshipers enjoy prayer as entertainment. When they bow their heads, you see them stretching and deep breathing, in anticipation of a good, lengthy, message to G-d.
My message was a bit of a disappointment. Instead of a long winded lecture about Jesus and the magic book, I said what was on my mind. Lord, thank you for letting us be here today.
The Peanut Butter Meme
A facebook friend posted a meme this morning. There is a picture of a piece of bread, covered in peanut butter. There is forty point, sans serif, text pasted on the condiment. “If someone ever tells you that you’re putting too much peanut-butter on your bread, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.”
PG dabbles in graphics. When he saw the meme, the first thing he saw were the words “your life” at the bottom. Six longer lines of text were stacked on top of “your life.” This creates a top heavy look. PG made a comment: “A meme is different from a peanut butter sandwich. There are too many words in this meme. If they had stopped after “negativity”, there would not be two words at the bottom by themselves. The result is a top heavy graphic. The words “in your life” do not add anything to the overall message. This is not negativity, this is editing.”
There are more issues with the peanut butter meme. This is a sacred saturday, after a long week at work. If PG wants to write snarky commentaries about a facebook picture, that should be his right. No one is making you read this. If you want to skip the text, and look at the pictures (from The Library of Congress,) go ahead. The images are from the FSA depression era collection.
We live in a selfish society. It is all about “your life.” The concept of scarce goods is not considered. What if there is only enough peanut butter (without the dash) for two regular sandwiches, or one super duper helping? Is it negativity to ask someone to share?
“If someone ever tells you … stop talking to them.” Are two people talking at the same time? Or, is one person talking, and the other listening? Maybe the meme should say stop listening to them. But, we are a self oriented culture. Listening is seen as weakness. Talking is seen as confident action. If someone says something you don’t like, don’t talk to them.
You probably weren’t listening anyway. It is all about you, and your desire to pile on the peanut butter. Maybe that is why it was important to add the words “in your life” to the text. The fact that there was not enough room does not matter. It is all about your life. If this throws the overall picture out of balance, that is too bad.
Unusual Personality Test
Internet tests are not as inevitable as death and taxes. They don’t have as many deductions, yet. Jesus did not take a buzzfeed quiz for you. The latest to wash up on this shore is “Unusual Personality Test That Will Reveal Much about Your Perception of Life.” Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
This one is self graded. You write a reaction to eight statements. One through four is how you feel about something. Five through eight are what you would do.
SPOILER ALERT If you want to take this quiz, do not read the rest of this post. Go ahead, take the test, and come back to compare notes.
This report will have one persons report card. The prompt question will be green. The answer will be blue. The INTERPRETATION will be in purple. If you look in the internet comments, you will see that others had the same answer to number three.
1. You are peering into the sea, what do you feel? 1. I want to go in and swim in the foaming waters. 1. Your attitude to life, emotions, sensations.
2. You are walking through the woods and look at the ground. 2. I feel the air going through my lungs, my heart beating, and energy wafting out from the trees. 2. The way you feel in your own family.
3. What do you feel when looking at flying seagulls? 3. I hope they crap somewhere other than on me. 3. Your attitude towards women.
4. What about a herd of horses? 4. I have never seen a heard of horses. 4. Your attitude to men.
5. You are in the desert, standing by the wall with a small hole, behind which you see the oasis. What are your actions? 5. I would make sure i have my credit card handy. 5. Your basic life strategy and goal. The way you solve your problems.
6. You are still in the desert, completely exhausted, and suddenly see a water jug. 6. I would be leery of that mysterious jug. I like to think that i take care of myself. That will not happen, as is the case with number five. 6. How selective you are in sexual life. Choice of a partner.
7. You are lost in the woods in the evening and see a house with lights on. 7. Stay away from the house. If it is winter, and the leaves are off, the house could be a long way away. I will turn the flashlight back on. 7. Your readiness for marriage.
8. You’re in the fog. 8. I like fog. The out of doors reminds me of the inside of my head. I would make sure I am warm, and glory in the fogginess. 8. Your attitude to death.
Date Rape Drug Warning
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘Beer ‘.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large kegs. ‘Beer ‘ is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of ‘Beer’ and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several applications of ‘Beer ‘, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with women to whom they would never normally be attracted. Men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’ . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after ‘Beer ‘ is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this ‘Beer ‘ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.
This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. Gender modification, for contemporary society, is available by appointment. Here is a more graphic warning demonstration.
Chamblee54 
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