Famous Last Words
The elephant in the room is a popular internet cliche. In this picture, the elephant looks like the ghastly wallpaper, both of which are best ignored. I wanted to make a comment. The only appropriate thing to do, in a situation involving wallpaper and an elephant, is to quote Oscar Wilde, on his deathbed. “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”
When discussing Oscar Wilde, elephants, and wallpaper, it is important to get the correct quote. Mr. Google has a great deal to say, on the subject of last words. Peggy Lee sang about it. Unfortunately, the chanteuse was in very bad health at the end of her life. Peggy Lee probably did not say “Is that all there is?” on her deathbed.
On October 14, 1977, Bing Crosby “… finished 18 holes of golf carding an 85 … After his final putt Bing … remarked “It was a great game.” As he was walking to the clubhouse … he collapsed from a massive heart attack. … “We thought he had just slipped,” said one of his golfing companions.”
Adelaide Eugenia Bankhead “… first child, daughter Ada Eugenia, was born on January 24, 1901. The following year, Tallulah was born on their anniversary. Ada died tragically of blood poisoning just three weeks following Tallulah’s birth. On her deathbed, she told her sister-in-law to “take care of Eugenia, Tallulah will always be able to take care of herself”. This, like many other legendary last words, may too good to be true.
The Atlantic had a tasteful feature, “What Are the Best Last Words Ever?” Here are a few.
John Adams July 4, 1826 “Thomas Jefferson survives.”
Unbeknownst to Mr. Adams, Mr. Jefferson had died about five hours earlier.
Richard Feynman “I’d hate to die twice—it’s so boring”
O. Henry appeared to have stopped breathing, but was he really dead? Touch his feet, suggested one of the mourners clustered around his bed: Nobody ever died with warm feet. Whereupon, the short-story writer raised his head from the pillow, mumbled “Joan of Arc did,” and fell back dead.
Dylan Thomas “I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys. I think that’s the record.”
Union Major General John Sedgwick “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.” Said while reprimanding his men for ducking for cover, just before he was killed at the Battle of Spotsylvania.
Ludwig Von Beethoven “I shall hear in heaven.”
An unverified tumblr contributes a few more zingers.
Edgar Allan Poe “Lord help my poor soul.”
Thomas Hobbes “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark.”
Alfred Jarry “I am dying…please, bring me a toothpick.”
Washington Irving “I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?”
Leo Tolstoy “But the peasants…how do the peasants die?”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “More light.”
Karl Marx “Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!”
Voltaire “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.”
François-Marie Arouet was asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
James Joyce “Does nobody understand?”
A certain popup crazy website has a few more last words. Some of these were really said. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
James Dean “That guy’s gotta stop… He’ll see us.”
Henry James “So here it is at last, the expected thing.”
Marie Antoinette “Pardon me, sir, I did not do it on purpose.”
George Appel “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.” Mr. Appel was executed by electric chair in 1928; these were his last words. Here’s two more: “Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.” Said by Fredrick Charles Wood before he was electrocuted in 1951. “Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!’” James French, 1966.
Weird Buzzing Sound
Dave Smith was on the Tucker Carlson show, “one coup and one assassination attempt” after his last appearance. The two are frequently called conservative, by people who use the c-word as an insult. It was rather surprising to hear this:
Tucker Carlson: “… there’s so many people in the Democratic party who are closeted including, in positions of real power. I know them, I don’t believe in outing people, and I’m not going to. I know that for a fact, and it’s like, on what grounds are you hiding it.”
Dave Smith: “I also have absolutely nothing against gay people. I do have an issue with people living a lie. … it’s also not just lying but living a lie. It’s a profound thing where you get used to every inch of your existence being a lie. The very nature of Who You Are is a lie. That just obviously leads to people who have the ability to totally lie about who they are. That I do have an issue with.”
The show went pretty much as expected. Smith is a vocal critic of Israel’s hideous conduct in Gaza, and Fox News fired Carlson for criticizing American support of Ukraine. Many sacred cows were slaughtered. At some points, a weird buzzing sound was heard, and the screen said they were discussing COVID. This is not allowed by youtube.
They both agreed that queers are better off out of the closet. When J. Edgar Hoover ran the FBI, saying that could get you killed. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Google Gotcha
The fbf posted this quote: “The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats. I was looking for something, in the public domain, to use in a graphic poem. I googled the quote, and one of the results was @QuoteResearch, aka Quote Investigator®.
Eden Phillpotts crafted the sentence. It is on page 19 of A shadow passes, a book of prose celebrating nature. “In the marshes the buckbean has lifted its feathery mist of flower spikes above the bed of trefoil leaves. The fimbriated flowers are a miracle of workmanship and every blossom exhibits an exquisite disorder of ragged petals finer than lace. But one needs a lens to judge of their beauty: it lies hidden from the power of our eyes, and menyanthes must have bloomed and passed a million times before there came any to perceive and salute her loveliness. The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
“God is in the details” is often attributed to minimalist German architect Mies van der Rohe, who probably co-opted the phrase from the German proverb ““Der liebe Gott steckt im detail”, which translates as “God is in the detail”. What this phrase neglects to mention is that many of these details are boring, even to an architect. That is certainly the case with Eden Phillpotts.
So the fbf was mistaken. My first impulse has been to play google gotcha, and immediately paste the contrarian evidence. This does get tiresome after a while. People like to find inspiration and entertainment where they can. The internet pedant can just find other ways to amuse himself.
Final confirmation comes from @BrainyQuote. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
PRX Racism Scandal Part Three
PRX is a “nonprofit public media company” that promotes podcasting. In 2020, PRX had a festive racism scandal. I recently went to their staff page. CEO Kerri Hoffman, who was at the heart of the racism scandal, is still in the driver’s seat. A few pictures down is “Byron Green-Calisch Vice President of Inclusion, Diversity, Equity and Accessibility.”
In the past four years, DEI has become somewhat of a punch line. It is interesting to note the original acronym was DEIA. Maybe if this had been branded IDEA, things would have worked out better.
The earlier PRXRS centered around CEO Hoffman touching the hair of Palace Shaw, a PRX Community Manager. In the staff photo, Dr. Green-Calisch sports a healthy set of dreadlocks. One wonders if CEO Hoffman has ever touched them. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Before You Recuse Me
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@The_Fence_Mag One of our editors saw Rylan Clark buying a hammer in Islington, so we asked our readers for their most memorable, moreish and mundane celebrity encounters. · everyone Demand front hole sex NOT generic single the last time · @RaniaKhalek “Israeli officials interpreted the article as saying the target for Hezbollah’s response could be the IDF headquarters in the center of Tel Aviv or the Mossad headquarters and other key intelligence bases in northern Tel Aviv. The bases are all close to civilian neighborhoods and if a rocket were to miss them, it would likely harm civilians.” Sounds like Israel is using its population as human shields · Revolution REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it—this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order. · Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce published The Devil’s Dictionary in 1906, when revolutions were evolving into what can only be termed good, clean fun. AGB served in the Union Army during the War Between the States. The Confederacy, among other things, was a revolution that did not work out very well. As with all conflicts, vast sums of money changed hands. The men who collected these sums are usually far away from the bloodshed. · Walt Whitman once said “That whole damned war business is about 999 parts diarrhea to one part glory.” The same mathematics can be said for revolutions as well. Maybe we should just stop with this revolting discourse, and move on to other R-words in TDD. The next four … RHADOMANCER, RIBALDRY, RIBROASTER, RICE-WATER … hold little interest for today’s conversation. The next two are different. · RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless. That is the view that prevails in the underworld, where the Brotherhood of Man finds its most logical development and candid advocacy. To denizens of the midworld the word means good and wise. · RICHES, n. A gift from Heaven signifying, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” John D. Rockefeller · “The reward of toil and virtue.” J.P. Morgan · “The savings of many in the hands of one.” Eugene Debs · To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress · selah · 1 – integrity peak 2 – projection 3 – sadness drama 4 – rent healthy regret · Be Impeccable With Your Word. Don’t Take Anything Personally. Don’t Make Assumptions. Always Do Your Best. · haiku reduction · 1 – integrity peak 2 – projection 3 – sadness drama 4 – rent healthy regret I reduced “The Four Agreements” to an eight word haiku. · @JDVance told me about 10/7 @LiZaOutlives told me about @POTUS dropping out of the race The tv at the gym told me about the assassination attempt · I have a rule about Joe Rogan. When he freaks out, and says “oh wow I didn’t know that,” I pause the episode, and google the detail. In a 2021 episode with the late Gilbert Gottfried, Joe tells a story about World War 1. It seems like the wounded German and Russian soldiers were being eaten alive by wolves. The two armies declared a truce, so they could kill the wolves. According to MeatEater, the story is true. Elsewhere, Joe and Gilbert were discussing the mental decline of Joe Biden. They were using “Bidening” as a verb. · under your bed and it knows you’re awake. `you should probably go to sleep now! don’t you worry your head if its real or fake whatever you do just forget its a cow · @CurtisScoon Race is blinding people from what they’re really supporting. · pictures today are from The Library of Congress · selah
The Four Agreements
The Four Agreements memed into life on Facebook. TFA is a familiar text. A pinch of truth, to offset inevitable performative hypocrisy. The graphic had a pink background, and a serif-enabled font. I saw a haiku reduction yearning to be free.
1 – integrity peak/ Be Impeccable With Your Word
2 – projection/ Don’t Take Anything Personally
3 – sadness drama/ Don’t Make Assumptions
4 – rent healthy regret/ Always Do Your Best
#4 comes closest to truth, with #2 close behind. #1 is truth telling as performance-art. As for #3, I prefer “when you assume, you make an ass of you and me.”
Revolution
REVOLUTION, n. “In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it—this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.”
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce published The Devil’s Dictionary in 1906, when revolutions were evolving into what can only be termed good, clean fun. AGB served in the Union Army during the War Between the States. The Confederacy, among other things, was a revolution that did not work out very well. As with all conflicts, vast sums of money changed hands. The men who collected these sums are usually far away from the bloodshed.
Walt Whitman once said “That whole damned war business is about 999 parts diarrhea to one part glory.” The same mathematics can be applied to revolutions as well. Maybe we should just stop with this revolting discourse, and move on to other R-words in TDD. The next four … RHADOMANCER, RIBALDRY, RIBROASTER, RICE-WATER … hold little interest for today’s conversation.
RICH, adj. “Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless. That is the view that prevails in the underworld, where the Brotherhood of Man finds its most logical development and candid advocacy. To denizens of the midworld the word means good and wise.”
RICHES, n. “A gift from Heaven signifying, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” John D. Rockefeller · “The reward of toil and virtue.” J.P. Morgan · “The savings of many in the hands of one.” Eugene Debs · To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.” Pictures today are from The Library of Congress · selah
Hiroshima 78 Years Later
At 8:15 am, August 6, 1945, Hiroshima got nuked. It was the start of a new era. Since Japan is 13 hours ahead of Georgia, and standard time was used, the literal anniversary is 8:15 pm, August 5.
Tsutomu Yamaguchi was working in Hiroshima when the bomb hit. He survived, and found a train to take hime to his home town, Nagasaki.
The device dropped on Hiroshima, the Little Boy, had an estimated force of 13 kilotons of Trinitrotoluene, or TNT. A kiloton of TNT is roughly a cube whose sides are ten meters. This device is fairly tiny compared to many of the warheads developed since. Many of the modern appliances are measured in megatons, or millions of tons of TNT. The Soviet Union had a bomb with a capacity of 50 megatons, or 4,000 times the size of the Little Boy.
The largest weapon tested by The United States is the Castle Bravo. This device destroyed Bikini Atoll in the Pacific. The two piece swimsuit was named for this island. The Castle Bravo device had a yield of 15 megatons of TNT. This is roughly 1,000 times the power of the Little Boy.
The decision to drop the bomb has long been controversial. There are a lot of factors and gray areas, and the issue does not lend itself to sound bite solutions. The conventional wisdom is that Japan surrendered because of the nuclear attack. This meant the war was shortened by at least a year, there was no invasion of Japan, and many lives were saved. I am scared by the moral calculus involved in a decision like this….do 100,000 civilian deaths prevent the deaths of 500,000 soldiers? I suspect that even God herself would lose sleep over that one.
There is also evidence that the bomb was not needed. Japan was whipped in August 1945. The air raids were conducted in daylight with little resistance. A debate was going on in the Japanese government on whether to continue the fight.
An event happened the day between Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, which influenced the Japanese decision to surrender. The Soviet Union had agreed to help the United States with the war against Japan. On August 8, The Soviet Union invaded Japanese occupied Manchuria. There are indications that Japan knew the fight was hopeless at this point, and would rather surrender to The United States than The Soviet Union. This is one of the gray areas that never seems to be mentioned.
The United States wanted the war to end quickly for obvious reasons, and a few subtle ones. America did not want to share the spoils of Japanese war with The Soviet Union. There were already tensions between the two allies, and the cold war was not far off. Many felt The United States used the Little Boy as a warning to The Soviet Union.
When you get your moral software out, you might want to figure in the effect of opening the nuclear Pandora’s box. Would the nuclear bomb have been developed by other countries if America had not led the way? The science is not that complicated…after all, America hit paydirt with the Manhattan Project fairly quickly. Nonetheless, there is karma involved in using a terrible new device on a civilian population. The United States started the wind of the arms race, and has yet to feel the whirlwind.
This is a repost. The pictures are from The Library of Congress. Ansel Adams took pictures of Japanese Americans, in a World War Two internment camp. The ladies in the bridge game are Aiko Hamaguchi, Chiye Yamanaki, Catherine Yamaguchi, and Kazoko Nagahama.
Wonder Drug
“everyone Demand front hole sex NOT generic single the last time” The well intended sign was designed to help queers avoid getting HIV through butt sex. The idea is to take prophylactic drugs 2-24 hours before you drop your drawers. Then, for the next 48 hours, you dose out on the wonder drug. The message was cheerfully illustrated with pill pictures, and included the delightful phrase front hole, which most people call vagina. A haiku was hidden in the burning bush. The reduction was posted to x, and not facebook. Some fbf are not ready to hear about butt sex.
The Ten Commandments Of Donald J. Trump: Thou Shalt not have any other President before thee. Thou shalt not pay the graven image makers. Thou shalt not use the name of the Donald in vain. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it bigly. Honor thy father, and thy mother, and thy money. Thou shalt kill. Thou shalt steal. Thou shalt commit adultery. Thou shalt bear false witness. Thou shalt foreclose on thy neighbor’s house. … This idea for a poem had been floating around for a while. At this point, it is just more words, about a boring person. Sad.
The tweet had an image, consisting of several people meeting celebrities under bad circumstances. The phrase “Shane MacGowan vomited” jumped out at me, along with “book launch typo queue.” Those five beats were not in the image, but rather a first haiku line condensation. I saw an opportunity for haiku reduction. Unfortunately, the snippets were pasted into the collection at peculiar angles. Selecting the parts I need would be a gigantic pain in the butt. The next problem was bits of the text in the upper line encroaching upon the lower line. The whole enterprise degenerated into too much work. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Exit Charge
It was the first Monday, and I braved the drive to L5P for the poetry bash. The talent wasn’t a poet, but a short story reader. The player was in New Jersey and New York, and he kept running into Lucifer, who seemed like a perfectly reasonable sort of gent, even if he does make odd fashion choices.
The story that sunk in was about designer lawns, and chemicals needed to preserve them. I live in mcmansion city. My white trash lawn is surrounded by manicured chemical dumps. Speaking of dumps, dinner is kicking in, and needs to kick out.
Han Vance is host of the L5PPB. One attribute that poets find helpful is being a ham, and enjoying the sound of your voice going out over a PA. This describes Han, and many of the L5PPB actors.
Han was talking about hosting open mic spaces. Poets are usually good, but many OM musicians tend to suck. Later, Han explored the concept of a bar with no entry fee, but you pay to leave. This would seem to be the ideal venue for this musician’s open mic. The more obnoxious the alleged musician, the greater the charge to go home.
A motif of the L5PPB is the haiku. How did the odd number geometry of five-seven-five come to have hegemony over the micropoem universe? Some say that the beat counting is obsolete, and you just need a total of seventeen beats.
The pics that illustrate this triple drabble feature are haiku reductions. You take an image, contort it into a standard size, highlight the malleable text, make a separate file, highlight a five-seven-five combination, blur out the remaining text, and paste the text over what remains of the original. The haiku structure helps to make sense of the whole enchilada.
Iconic Gardenia Hair
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The Story Behind Billie Holiday’s Iconic Gardenia Hair By Lauren Valenti
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bob dylan PLAYBOY: Did you ever have the standard boyhood dream of growing up to be President? DYLAN: No. When I was a boy, Harry Truman was President; who’d want to be Harry Truman? · Wash Your Hands · Lately, I have been walking.. I try to go for a couple of miles, in the morning before the heat becomes obnoxious. Today, I went out New Peachtree, until the MARTA line goes overhead, and I can walk under to another Peachtree. … The spell check suggestion for Peachtree is Peacekeeper. This is the last remnants of Peachtree Road, before it collides with Peachtree Boulevard. Many oldtimers still say Peachtree Industrial, which has a fifties retro feel to it. When you cross the road, you find a sidewalk in front of Peachtree Country Club. During the MARTA construction era, my mother was fond of saying that the golf course was willed to the Catholic Church in perpetuity. Of course, a few feet were shaved off to accomodate another lane on Peachtree. A few hundred yards down the sidewalk, I came to a half eaten bagel, a fork, a plastic box lined with old food, and a lid for a box. I carry plastic bags in my pack, and I got one for this detritous. Of course, there is not a trash can between here and the school dumpster, but there will be something else to put in that bag. There is a law in Georgia. Whenever you hear someone say “wish” in a sentence, you are required to say a bit of commodity wisdom. “You can shit in one hand, and wish in the other, and see which hand gets full faster.” You should wash your hands no matter whether you hope or defecate. There is a more useful version. You can wish in a plastic bag. Or, you can pick up trash, and put it in the plastic bag. One bag will get full before the other. Washing your hands is still a good idea. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. · Is congress in session? Both of our senators are at the Kamala rally. Sen. Ossoff attended the speech, before Congress, by PM Netanyhu. Sen. Warnock did not return my call, when I called his office to ask if he attended. · This feature was written in 2014. The link to the quiz no longer works. There have been changes in the laws, and attitudes, of our society. … · It was a dark and stormy night; The rain fell in torrents—except when, Checked by a violent gust of wind, Which swept up the streets, (For it is in London that our scene lies,) Rattling along the housetops, Fiercely agitating the scanty flame, Lamps that struggled against the darkness, Paul Clifford – Edward Bulwer-Lytton · “I’ll just paraphrase it. You’re literally having a debate in the Knesset about whether it is legitimate to, quote insert a stick in a person’s rectum, and you have a member of the Likud party … saying yes if he is a … Hamas terrorist everything is legitimate to do to him. That’s how mainstream these views have.” · pictures today are from The Library of Congress · selah
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