Tibetan Peach Pie Part Two
In 1977, Rolling Stone did a piece about a “counterculture writer” named Tom Robbins. This should not be confused for Harold Robbins, a mainstream wordchunker who died in 1997. “Tommy Rotten,” is known for colorful phrasing. It is as if Vladimir Nabokov caught butterflies with psychedelic juice in their wings, and made a lepidopterist stew that allowed him behind the looking glass. As it is, we have, through the magic of internet cut and paste, a stylistic seraphim from the time of the Carter administration. “You can tell people that my goal is to write novels that are like a basket of cherry tomatoes—when you bite into a paragraph, you don’t know which way the juice is going to squirt.”
Part one of the chamblee54 regurgitation of Tibetan Peach Pie: A True Account of an Imaginative Life hit the ether nine days ago. Since then, PG has taken to writing down the page number of phrases that catch his eye, tickle his ears, pull his leg, and punch him in the gut. Since a Tom Robbins book is an anarchic army of swinging sentences, only nominally regulated by the discipline of plot, this may be the best way to approach this subject.
On page 25, TER (the E stands for Eugene) was on an asian honeymoon. A Sing snake crossed their path. A guide invited the snake to dinner. The reptile was prepared with enough red chili paste to give heartburn to the human blowtorch. TER felt as though he had gargled napalm. Later, on page 145, TER would describe “many a hot, sticky summer night, when a restless Richmond felt like the interior of a napalmed watermelon.”
Page 63 sees TER at thirteen years old. He has not joined the church, given his soul to Jesus, and been assured of salvation. These are important items on the Southern Baptist bucket list. PG went through sunday after painful sunday, every time the congregation sang “Just as I am” as an invitation to eternal life with Jesus. PG never did take that walk down the aisle, and has come to see the Baptist ritual of pressuring pre pubescent youth as being just a little bit weird. Yes, this is better than what the Roman Pedophile Church likes to do with little boys, but that’s a technicality.
The man assigned to win the soul of TER was Dr. Peters. “tall, gaunt, and pale, with a weak damp smile and cold damp palms: shaking hands with him was like being forced to grasp the flaccid penis of a hypothermic zombie….more creepy than refrigerated possum slobber.”
By page 125, TER is out of school, married, and has a son. This is the early fifties, and PG will not appear on planet earth for a little while. In those days, there was a war going on in Korea. TER decided that the Air Force would be more pleasant than the army. If he had waited much longer Uncle Sam would have made the choice for him.
TER at some point is on a ship, and editing a newspaper. “…the paper’s adviser, a Roman Catholic chaplain who possessed the purplish physiognomy and perpetually petulant pucker of the overly zealous censor.” Soon TER is in Nebraska, and buys his first automobile, a “1947 Kaiser … looked like the illegitimate child of a sperm whale and a pizza oven.” TER did not specify the gender.
Six pages later, TER is out of the service, about the divorce wife number one, and living in a hood called the Fan. This was the hippie district of Richmond VA, although the 1954 version was considerably tamer than the summer of love variety. (This is roughly the time when PG burst onto the landscape of Atlanta GA) TER was reading books about zen. Learning zen, by reading a book, was similar to learning how to swim by reading a magazine. Or telling time by reading a newspaper. As Ben Hecht put it, “Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.”
The convergence of zen, swimming, and reading material made TER think of a poem by William Blake. Mr. Blake was a hallucinatory inspiration on Allen Ginsberg, who would later be the only man to ever kiss TER on the lips. (PG has doubts about that one, but will have to take the word of TER) Anyway, the poem has the Southern Baptist approved title of “Eternity.” “He who binds to himself a joy, Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies, Lives in eternity’s sun rise.”
Maybe this is a good time to edit this, insert pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”, and go forth into the world. Or go second, or third, but not in a Southern Baptist lifetime should PG go fifth. As TER said in High Times, “I’d better shut up now before the woo-woo alarms go off.”
Thanksgiving
PG does not want to bore you with talk about gratitude. This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. There will be one story.
“I used to work for a company that produced annual reports. One year, I was sent on this huge cross country trip to art direct a series of shots for a food processing mega-company, and one of the stops involved a turkey farm. Okay, so you have to understand that turkeys are extremely skittish birds. The slightest thing will set them off, so the farmer kept them in a large, basically dark barn just to keep them under some semblance of control. So we go in, and the photographer sets up the lights, which he gradually turned on so the birds (and me, for that matter) could get used to it. Everything’s going fine. We have the farmer in front of his (literally) hundreds of free-range turkeys. The photographer clicks off the shot… and in doing so sets off a flash he forgot he had triggered. Immediate chaos: birds running everywhere.At least a dozen fainted and died right on the spot. Farmer was none too happy. Neither was the agency.”
Eighty Percent
It is a T shirt treasure, and a coffee cup classic. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” This gem is blamed on Allan Steward Konigsberg, better known as Woody Allen. The percentage goes up and down, and life is sometimes substituted for success.
The quote was recently featured at WIST, or Wish I’d Said That. This quote site is known for giving a source, unlike the sites featuring purring platitudes in front of a cultural kitten. The current top offering is “Bach almost persuades me to be a Christian.” Virginia Woolf attributes the baroque comment to Roger Fry who was not afraid of the author.
Getting back to Mr. Allen and success statistics. He accepts full responsibility for the remark. In 1989, notorious conservative columnist William Safire asked Mr. Allen about whether he said life or success. The answer was rather surprising.
“The quote you refer to is a quote of mine which occurred during an interview while we were discussing advice to young writers, and more specifically young playwrights. My observation was that once a person actually completed a play or a novel he was well on his way to getting it produced or published, as opposed to a vast majority of people who tell me their ambition is to write, but who strike out on the very first level and indeed never write the play or book.”
In other words, you don’t just show up empty handed. If you have an idea, you have to employ the writing formula, ass + chair. You have to turn the tv off, leave the beer in the refrigerator, sit down, and push buttons on the keyboard.
The second part of today’s entertainment is an encore presentation, Inspiration Is For Amateurs. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
PG was listening to an interview with a fiction writer. Someone said “Inspiration is for amateurs.” PG has always been more impressed by action than beliefs, and this phrase made sense. This repost is a good excuse to post some more pictures from The Library of Congress.
The phrase is from a painter named Chuck Close. His output is expensive, and widely enjoyed. A spinal injury left him paralyzed, but did not stop him from producing. Here is the full quote:
“The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case.”
A man once made pottery. It was said that the man only worked with passion, and that if he didn’t feel this passion he did not work. When PG heard that, his thought was that if PG worked that way, he would never finish anything. Most of the sticker pictures take a while to finish. PG always gets tired of the picture before it is through. The idea is to go to the studio, start to do stuff, and before long the enthusiasm will return. Any image requires a certain amount of time with the belly pressed against the work table, or the digital equivalent.
The formula for writing is ass plus chair. A teacher once said to not stare at the blank page, waiting for a bolt of lightening. Start to write something, and the ideas will start to sputter out of the pipeline.
It is not enough to have a bright idea. You have to work the problems out. Sometimes, you spend more time finding out what does not work, than what does. You have to do it wrong before you can do it right. Genius is ninety nine percent perspiration and one percent inspiration. If any cliches have been overlooked, please add them to the comments.
One thing that is helpful is to be focused. The internet can be a problem. When you should be thinking about your product, it is very tempting to see the latest on Facebook or Twitter.
Bernied Out
Bernie Sanders is speaking at the Fox Theater tonight. While PG enjoys a free circus, it is doubtful that he will atttend tonight. There are just too many problems with Bernard no-middle-name Sanders, who will be known as BS in this report.
When watching the Demo debate, PG realized that BS is a jerk. He is loud, abrasive, and ugly. BS is always ready to make an angry, shouting speech. BS is a cranky, ill tempered old fogey, with too many opinions. One Jew, a thousand opinions.
It is not enough that BS is a jerk. There is also his adoring followers, the bernoids. That is a contraction of Bernie and annoyed. Bernoids make evangelical christians look restrained. Bernoids seem to think that the louder they scream, the more memes they post on facebook, the more likely their hero is of being elected. It would be a luxury to consider the candidates on their merits, rather than reacting to the obnoxious behavior of their followers.
So much for style. BS doesn’t do too good on substance either. Does anyone really think that BS will make college tuition free? And pay for it with the revenue from environmentally sensitive unicorn ranching? The Repub dominated congress is not likely to go along with this.
It is ironic that BS is telling the truth on many issues. There is massive income inequality in Amerika. Unfortunately, loudly whining about it is not going to do anything except fire up the bernoids. The one percent is getting a good laugh.
BS said in a debate that Muslims should pitch in to defeat Haesh. (This part will be done from memory. Google should have the exact words.) This is what Israel wants. If Syria’s government is fighting rebels, then nobody is fighting Israel. There is a lot of killing going on in the middle east. BS wants to see more, as long as Israel doesn’t get hurt.
The Georgia primary is March 1. This is after a few primaries, and the field may start to narrow. Maybe a strategic vote against a Repub is in order. Or, maybe a Demo vote is the way to go. Bernie, with all his faults, is more appealing than Hillary. PG will probably make up his mind while walking to the polling place. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Theology Is Worse
If you don’t like the text, skip over it and look at the pictures ~ The adjective “white” does not need to be there. ~ statistics ~ 01:05:11 PM so i try to delete an empty folder and the machine totally wigs out the only way to restart is to cut the power off which leads to a cranky startup ~ @lucygabs i now realise i should have used a comma ~ if a woman wants to be a poet she must dwell in the house of the tomato ~ The forum is no longer. ~ a racist is someone who calls their neighbor a racist we are all G-d’s children ~ @SlavojTweezek Workers of the World, ignite! You have nothing to lose so inflame! ~ the anagram for narcissism is racism sins ~ @Mchankins hasn’t tweeted yet. ~ @Milbank Gutsy Republican leaders strike Islamic State with lethal barrage of clichés. ~ @lucygabs If you can differentiate between white christians and the kkk/westboro, then you can differentiate between muslims and isis. ~ Luther Mckinnon The adjective “white” does not need to be there. ~ Katie Brown I strongly strongly disagree. White Muslims are rarely mistaken for members of ISIS. Black Christians are rarely mistake for members of the KKK. The whole meme is based on a more complex discussion of assumptions based on the intersection of skin color in relation to religious ideology – and the way that these relationships can be misconstrued by the uneducated. ~ Luther Mckinnon Arabs and Persians are caucasian. ~ Tyler Wallace It’s not a meme. It’s a tweet. ~ @lucygabs ICYMI: http://bit.ly/1MbHH2D Stop telling me Fashion isn’t a ‘real’ degree, written by yours truly. ~ JOHNNY SAID THE N WORD ~ racial privilege of cows ~ @EricaJong @BarnardCollege today is #internationalMensDay #WorldToiletDay Gettysburg address was Nov 19,1983 ~ This user’s activity is private ~ “Your ignorance is profound, though typical of the standard brainwashed college graduate in the United States today…. I like to throw Libtard terminology right back in their faces. ~ @JordynPhelps Trump says he’s been described as Ernest Hemingway of Twitter ~ @RaymondMcDaniel I don’t trust anything that explains everything. ~ I was listening to a podcast about a lady with a broken vagina when I saw this. I had to pause the podcast to read this story. ~ In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. ~ Four labels to avoid: liberal, conservative, racist, terrorist ~ What does this refer to? ~ “Philosophy is useless theology is worse” Mark Knopfler ~ What you say about Jesus says more about you than it does about Jesus. ~ – I’m going to pray for you ~ We need to quit judging people on their racial attitudes. Just because you consider someone to be “racist” does not give you license to trash talk them. ~ @pourmecoffee “500 phrases from scientific publications that are correlated with bullshit” ~ Sicko Manhattan dentist busted for child porn, selling meth after he told informant he attended bestiality parties in NYC: officials ~ Find out which Beatles song are you? ~ How to Grieve Over Black Celebrities’ Stupid Comments About Race and Racism ~ show them these 5 paragraphs ~ bounce house ~ dogmatic ~ pictures are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
Thanksgiving Letter to the Family
This is the 2011 Thanksgiving letter from Margaret and Helen. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2011
Dear Family,
We lost your Grandpa this year and suddenly everyone wants to be together for the holidays. Well isn’t that just the shit. I hope you all learned your lesson. Treasure your family while they are still here – not after they are gone. Life is a series of lessons. Pay attention.
Now about Thanksgiving… Your Aunt Trudy thinks that just because Thanksgiving dinner is at her house this year, I am not in charge. Well bless her heart. Here are the rules:
01- This year Cloe’s jello crap is fine by me. Trudy’s gravy is always a little thin for my taste. A little jello might thicken it up a bit.
02- I respect the cook, but 99% of us respect good food even more. I reserve the right to occupy the kitchen and add an extra stick or two of butter to any dish that doesn’t meet with my satisfaction. And for the record, pepper spray belongs in the kitchen not on college campuses.
03- I respect the debate, but I reserve the right to grab a bar of soap if I hear Bill O’Reilly nonsense coming out of your mouth.
04- You can never have enough paprika in the kitchen.
05- Mary and Rhonda, feel free to bring the children and the pets. Harvey hasn’t let Trudy buy new furniture since 1978. No one will notice an extra stain or two.
06- Trudy – if I have told you once, I have told you a hundred times – add the bacon and the grease. Everything tastes better cooked in bacon grease.
07- Jonathan. Your Republicans have made fools enough of themselves already. Don’t add to the idiot parade by claiming you have liked Newt all along. You liked Michele until Perry came along. You liked Perry until he said oops. And you liked Cain until he groped your wife. It’s just a matter of time until Newt steps in it too. For goodness sakes, his shoes still stink from the last time he ran. Like it or not honey, Romney is taking you to the Prom.
08- Nobody does deviled eggs correctly. You have to use vinegar.
09- Nobody does Republican presidential debates correctly. You have to use your brain.
10- Marshall. Your children can’t sing. There I said it and I am not taking it back.
11- Bacon. Trudy, you just have to trust me on this. Bacon.
Your Grandpa Harold knew you loved him. Let’s just be thankful we had him as long as we did. Happy Thanksgiving. I mean it. Really.
Fifty Two Years
Fifty one years ago, John Kennedy went to the oval office in the sky. Did Marilyn Monroe greet him?
The bullets hit Mr.Kennedy at 12:30. He arrived at the hospital at 12:37. He had a faint heartbeat on arrival, but quickly succumbed to his wounds.
In Georgia, PG was nine years old. He was in Miss Mckenzie’s fourth grade class. There was going to be an assembly soon, and the class was going to perform. There was a rehearsal in the cafetorium, and some of the kids were acting up. They went back to the class, and PG thought they were going to be chewed out about the misbehavior in the cafetorium. Instead, Miss Mckenzie came into the room, and told the kids that President Kennedy had been shot during a parade in Dallas Texas. She did not say anything about his condition. One kid cheered the news.
School let out at the regular time, and PG walked home. His mother and brother were crying. He was told that the president had died. The cub scouts meeting that afternoon was canceled.
Later that night, a plane arrived in Washington. The tv cameras showed a gruesome looking man walk up to a microphone. He was introduced as President Lyndon Johnson. This may have been the worst moment of that day. Pictures by “Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
The White Privilege Of Cows
Episode 37708 of Bloggingheads.tv features those fun loving POC professors, Glenn Loury and John McWhorter. PG enjoys their shows, even knowing that he will have to interrupt his multi tasking to make a video clip. Sure enough, at 21:29, Dr. McWhorter says the N-word. Eight and one half minutes later, Dr. Loury was talking about a column, the racial privilege of cows.
The published title was Maier ’17: The white privilege of cows. It appeared in the Brown Daily Herald, which has something to do with Brown University. The column was, to put it mildly, poorly written. It is tough to discern exactly what the young lady was trying to say. As best this slack blogger can figure out, PWOC were better at agriculture than POC. If the column didn’t have a catchy title, it might have been ignored. The world would not be affected either way.
The column seems to say that there are some differences between PWOC and POC. This goes against the prevailing orthodoxy-that-must-not-be-questioned. If you type the phrase “race is a construct” into google, you get 87.1 million results. The top choice, from the New York Times, says Race and Racial Identity Are Social Constructs. “Race is not biological. It is a social construct. There is no gene or cluster of genes common to all blacks or all whites.” This piece was written by “Angela Onwuachi-Willig, a professor of law at the University of Iowa College of Law.” AO-W is a law professor, not a geneticist.
The real fun starts in the comments. You get people with more education than intelligence, too much free time, and a capacity for rhetoric. They start posting comments, replies to these comments, and replies to the replies. The reader waits for someone to scream “JANE YOU IGNORANT SLUT!!!”
Actually, that does happen here. Albert Wesker, who will be quoted in a minute, makes at least two comments on the level of JYIS. “Your ignorance is profound, though typical of the standard brainwashed college graduate in the United States today…. I like to throw Libtard terminology right back in their faces.” Libtard is a contraction of liberal retard, and is considered politically incorrect. The spell check suggestion for Libtard is Billiard.
Albert Wesker Speaking as a biologist, it pains me to read the absurdities that ignoramuses write as if it were scientific truth. Let’s ignore whether this article said anything “offensive,” and instead focus on this: (From the editors note that precedes the column) “The column relied on the repeatedly disproven premise that race is a biological category.” First of all, any scientist will tell you that “proof” is a “no-no” word in science. There is no proof, only increasing degrees of confidence in particular ideas. Second, both of the articles in the links do not provide even ONE reference for their statements of “fact.” That’s a big red flag for any scientist. Even more importantly, neither article provides a definition of the word they claim does not exist. …
Race-deniers are very fond of stating that all people, regardless of “race” are 99.9% identical. Sounds impressive, but that figure is simply a reflection of how young the human species is. …..We know evolution can occur rapidly by observing Man’s best friend. It is not widely reported but all breeds of dog are also 99.9% identical, but I doubt even the most delusional egalitarian would claim there is no significant difference between a Chihuahua and a Great Dane.
Pictures from The Library of Congress.
1 comment