Four Way Rules
This is a double repost . These two features have been repeated before , with text added. Whether the text adds value is a judgement question. For today’s entertainment, the added value text will be included. Historic pictures today are from“The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. This was written like David Foster Wallace
Two features, posted two times each, is four. These two features are about rules for living, that come in groups of four. There is a symmetry about four. Four Beatles, Four seasons, four corners, four elements. This number is a homonym partner with for and fore.
When PG was a kid, his grandmother lived in a side apartment, in a house on Virginia Avenue. The owner of the house was Mrs. Stuckey. (PG never learned her “real” name, and assumed that checks were made out to Mrs.) There was a framed piece of paper in Mrs. Stuckey’s hall. The top said “The Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do” , and featured the logo of the Rotary Club. The four rules were simple, on the surface. Is it the TRUTH?//Is it FAIR to all Concerned?//Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?//Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?
The four way test was written by Herbert J. Taylor. In 1932, Mr.Taylor took over the bankrupt Club Aluminum Company of Chicago. Trying to revive the company during the depression, Mr. Taylor wrote a code of ethics, that would be the basis for the company’s actions.
Many said that the four way test was not practical for the business world. The balancing of integrity and ambition can be daunting. It was said that “This emphasis on truth, fairness and consideration provide a moral diet so rich that it gives some people “ethical indigestion.”
PG maintains that fair is a baseball hit between first and third base. Sometimes, the umpire makes the wrong call. In the “real world”, the different points of view in a dispute make rendering a fair judgment a difficult task, if not an impossible one.
There is a story about the revival of Club Aluminum. ” One day, the sales manager announced a possible order for 50,000 utensils. Sales were low and the company was still struggling at the bankruptcy level. The senior managers certainly needed and wanted that sale, but there was a hitch. The sales manager learned that the potential customer intended to sell the products at cut-rate prices. “That wouldn’t be fair to our regular dealers who have been advertising and promoting our product consistently,” he said. In one of the toughest decisions the company made that year, the order was turned down. There was no question this transaction would have made a mockery out of The Four-Way Test the company professed to live by.”
How did the sales manager learn of the intentions of this buyer? Was he tipped off by one of the “regular customers” who feared competition? Was this “regular customer” lying? Many inspirational stories leave out crucial details.
As it turns out, Club Aluminum did sell enough product to emerge from bankruptcy. “By 1937, Club Aluminum’s indebtedness was paid off and during the next 15 years, the firm distributed more than $1 million in dividends to its stockholders. Its net worth climbed to more than $2 million.”
Club Aluminum cookware was cast, not spun. It is heavy, and is a prized collectors item today. As for the Club Aluminum company ” Standard International Corporation bought it in 1968. Regalware made and marketed Club Aluminum for a while, but went out of business in the mid-1980s. The brand name was eventually obtained by the Mirro Company.”
This is a repost. Philosophy and rules for living is always a crowd pleaser. Whether or not you practice what you preach is beside the point.
There is a story above. A company, facing bankruptcy, turned down a huge order because of concerns about how the product would be resold. Today, this seems quaint. Today, the moral thing to do would be to take the order, keep your factory busy, and not worry how it was going to be resold. While some pretend that moral rules are unchanging, the truth is that they do change with the times.
This reminds PG of a story from his days as a blueprinter. With ammonia developed prints, every print is fed by hand, and you have the option to adjust the speed of the machine. Slower prints mean less background, which to some is a higher quality print. (This is not an issue with digital printing. Some change is indeed progress.)
The company PG worked for was affiliated with a small, family run company in a neighboring city. This company was run by an old fashioned lady, who insisted on adjusting every print to get the perfect background. This was different from the company PG worked for, which ran large jobs for the big city market. To his customers, quality meant getting an acceptable print, DELIVERED ON TIME. Who had the higher standards? Maybe that is a question for the customer to judge.
These thoughts are for you to use. They were articulated by a man named Don Miguel Ruiz. They are called the Four Agreements. . HT to activecitizen54..
PG does not claim to live up to these ideals. Number two is especially tough for him. The main thing is to try, and to always do your best. This is not about what you believe or think, it is about what you do.
agreement 1–Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
agreement 2–Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
agreement 3–Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
agreement 4–Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Pauline Kael, Gina James, And James Broughton
Pauline Kael was the rockstar film critic. James Broughton was the radical faerie poet laureate. They were lovers, and had a daughter, Gina James. Pauline and James were not married, contrary to what some naysayers would tell you. This is a repost.
Much of the information in this feature is taken from online reviews of Pauline Kael: A Life in the Dark, a 2012 biography written by Brian Kellow. Gina James, also known as Gina Broughton, was not interviewed for the book. Neither did she participate in the making of Big Joy, a movie about James Broughton. (A wig store, Gina Beauty Supply is located at 25 W Broughton St, Savannah, GA 31401.)
Pauline Kael was born June 19, 1919, Petaluma, CA, died September 3, 2001, Great Barrington, MA, and stood 4 feet 9 inches tall. James Broughton was born November 10, 1913, Modesto, CA, and died May 17, 1999, Port Townsend, WA. Neither one had a middle name. Both used their birth name throughout life. Both had lives, before meeting in the late forties.
When she met James Broughton, Miss Kael was living what would later be called the bohemian life. After moving to New York, and being dumped for composer Samuel Barber, Miss Kael moved back to California. “Returning to the Bay Area with her tail between her legs in 1945, Pauline became involved with the incredibly effeminate avant-garde filmmaker James Broughton. He managed to impregnate Pauline but threw her out as soon as she told him, whereupon she moved to Santa Barbara to give birth to her daughter, Gina, in 1948″
“Like her early career, Kael’s personal life was also fraught with failures. Kellow says “she had a habit of falling for gay men” earlier in her life because “they tended to share her passions and enthusiasms.” She had a daughter … with one of them, experimental filmmaker James Broughton.”
“For a time, during the 1940s, he lived with future film critic Pauline Kael. She encouraged his filmmaking endeavors but their relationship ended after she got pregnant. … Pauline Kael thought that Broughton made the biggest mistake of his life when he turned down a studio film after winning the prize at Cannes.” (Apparently Mr. Broughton was from a wealthy family, and could afford this attitude. Regarding his movie The Bed, Mr. Broughton said “It was the only film I created that ever made any money.”)
“Which brings us to the strange tale of Pauline’s only child, Gina James. … In 1948, at age 29, Kael got pregnant after she “talked her way into moving in” with James Broughton, a bisexual poet living in Sausalito. By Kellow’s account, Broughton was furious at the news of Kael’s pregnancy; he felt trapped and tricked by her. One of Broughton’s friends reported that he kicked Kael out of his house. She moved to Santa Barbara to have the baby. The birth certificate listed the father as “Lionel James, a writer”. It is one of the disappointments of the book that Kellow shines little light on Kael’s passion — or whatever it was — for Broughton, on how she processed that cruel rejection and on whether Broughton ever recognized Gina as his daughter.”
James Broughton moved on with his life. He made experimental films, got married, and fathered two more children. At some point he met Joel Singer, and began the romance that would last the rest of his life. It is tough to say whether he was genuinely bisexual, or whether he was playing the role society expected of him.
This review of Big Joy continues: “But interviews with Singer, waxing poetic about his years with the artist, are balanced by reminiscences from Broughton’s ex-wife and his abandoned son. Rather than only celebrating silliness, I found it admirable that the directors didn’t gloss over the pain he caused his wife and children. After all, when you think about it, he spent all of his life unable to decide if he was gay or straight; leaving a lot of broken hearts in his wake.
We learn from Kael that he flirted with everyone he met. “He rode off into the sunset with some guy,” his wife, Suzanna Hart tells us. “That was very sad for me, but not for him, which was…very irritating.” In her segments, Hart keeps her emotions in check but you can clearly read the sadness and anger in her face. The son doesn’t have much good to say about his absent father and the two daughters (the first by Kael and the second by Hart) both refused to be interviewed for the film. Singer has a lot to say about their blissful decades together, but he also comes off a bit heartless when he shows no guilt over breaking up what he calls Broughton’s “loveless” marriage.”
The baby daddy leaves, and the struggling writer becomes a single mom. “… Kael’s relationship with her actual daughter was something out of a Tennessee Williams play, and not in a good way. Kael home-schooled Gina and, as the girl grew up, kept her close, as a typist, projectionist, driver and right-hand man, and she banished any friend who actively encouraged the young woman to break out on her own. Though she was in many ways a loving and committed mother, helping to raise Gina’s son and always living nearby, one senses a Gothic selfishness in her mothering.”
Gina James declined to talk with Kellow for his book, but the author says Kael and her daughter had a sort of symbiotic relationship. “Pauline did not type, Pauline did not drive — Gina performed both those functions for her. And Gina was a very good critic of Pauline. She got to see Pauline’s copy before anyone else did and she often had very, very important and influential things to say. But Pauline really wasn’t wild about the idea of Gina breaking away and having her own life apart from her, and she didn’t do anything really to encourage her in that direction as far as I can see.”
Amazon one star comment: And her poor daughter – what a fate – TYPING all that. Poor Gina, — I can see her – Kellow described sitting silently in some coffee shop while her mother raved on and ON with her pet directors.
An affair with the experimental filmmaker James Broughton produced a child, Gina, whom Kael raised by herself, Mildred Pierce–like, heroically supporting them with a number of odd jobs, including running a laundry. Gina’s heart condition required expensive surgery, and Kael ended up enticing Edward Landberg, the owner of a local art-house theater, Berkeley Cinema Guild. They had begun as co-programmers. As Landberg tells it: “One day, when I was over at her place, I happened to graze her breast with my hand, and she kind of looked up and said, ‘What have you got to lose?’” Their marriage proved a fiasco, but Landberg agreed to pay for Gina’s operation, which Kellow suspects had been Kael’s motive all along…. Kellow shows more independence in assessing Kael’s treatment of her daughter Gina, whose ambitions to become a dancer or a painter she did little to encourage, preferring to keep her on “a silver cord . . . she had also grown accustomed to the steady, dependable role that Gina played—as secretary, driver, reader, sounding board—and she was loath to give her up.” Gina, for her part, was mistrustful of the dynamic she witnessed between Kael and her acolytes.“
“The closest and longest-lasting partnership of her life was with her daughter, Gina James … James considered speaking to Kellow, but finally declined, leaving a blank space at the center of this otherwise vividly detailed biography. Gina lived with her mother till she was over 30, typed up her reviews after Pauline stayed up all night writing them in longhand, and gave up both college and a shot at a dance career to serve as her mother’s caretaker, companion, and driver….
Kellow cites the text of the breathtakingly passive-aggressive eulogy that Gina delivered at her mother’s funeral in 2001: “My mother had tremendous empathy and compassion, though how to comfort, soothe or console was a mystery that eluded her … . Pauline’s greatest weakness, her failure as a person, became her great strength, her liberation as a writer and critic . … she turned her lack of self-awareness into a triumph.”
One more chapter remains. “Gina lived with Kael well into her thirties … That she married and had a child, Will, seemed to catch Kael by surprise, though she ended up adoring her only grandchild, someone with whom she could watch action movies with.
Kael died in 2001, when Will was about 19. Unfortunately, and Kellow made no mention of this in his book whatsoever, there’s a horrible postscript, one that may well have been the reason for why Gina declined to be interviewed for the book. On October 6, 2007, Will, then 25, went hiking in the East Mountain State Forest in the Berkshires. He was an avid hiker, not to mention a devoted martial artist. He had a girlfriend. He never came back. Gina reported him missing, but his body wasn’t found for more than week, on October 15. … “authorities found camping equipment nearby and while cause of death has not been determined, foul play is not suspected.”
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. UPDATE These two comments were made to the original post. Anonymous said, on June 16, 2017 at 9:18 pm Your piece on Kael and Broughton is rife with misinformation and judgements galore and unbelievably badly written. Get a life and stop spreading falsehoods. And next time you put your fingers to a keyboard do your due diligence! James’ son was NOT ABANDONED! He lived happily with the two of us after the divorce. You fail to recognize that James’ ex-wife was a classic fag hag who had been married to another gay man before her relationship with James. She had been in psychotherapy for years before they got together and for many years after they split up. James certainly did not spend the rest of his life uncertain about his sexuality. Read his autobiography COMING UNBUTTONED and you’ll discover how misinformed your take on him is. You have done a great disservice to your readers by publishing such homophobic nonsense. Joel Singer ~ Sterling Wilson said, on August 19, 2017 at 1:40 pm Curious about this autobiography, I found the following from a Publishers Weekly review “Broughton forsakes introspection for literary gossip and name-dropping: Kenneth Rexroth, Pauline Kael, Dylan Thomas, Anais Nin. The birth of a daughter is dispensed with in two sentences. Broughton’s insistence on making himself the center of attention increasingly intrudes.”
Are You An A$$hole?
A facebook friend recently displayed the results of an online test, Are you an asshole? When PG clicked on the link, he was told to sign in with facebook. Going to a clickbait site, and being told to drag in the zuckersphere, is more trouble than it is worth. Fortunately, google has the answer to “are you an asshole?” The fact that google is a corporate sphincter should be disregarded. Today we will look at the page one results. Pictures for this contemptible waste of your time are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
How Much Of An Asshole Are You? gets the top spot. Buzzfeed paid for it. This is a typical online quiz. The multiple choice answers never quite seem to fit, so you choose one to get the results you want. “You got: NOT AN ASSHOLE AT ALL!”
Are You An Asshole?, also from Buzzfeed, asks “Have you ever…? There is a list of 22 items. “You checked 4 out of 22 on this list! Don’t worry. You’re a good person. There’s a chance you’ve been a little manipulative or dishonest, but for the most part, it was probably unintentional. The world could use more people like you.”
Are You A Certified Asshole? is a bit of self promotion by Bob Sutton, aka @work_matters. Self promoter is a synonym for asshole. “Are You A Certified Asshole? Find Out With the Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE) A 24-Question Self-Exam by Bob Sutton. Click here to buy the classic “The No Asshole Rule.”” The questions deal with the workplace. “4 to 5 “True”: You don’t sound like a certified asshole, unless you are fooling yourself.”
How Much Of An Asshole Are You? is the facebook tainted thingie at the start of this post. What Kind Of A**hole Are You? has little value. There are more multiple choice questions that have no good answer. At the end, you have to click on an unknowable link, if you want the results. 8 Telltale Signs You’re An Asshole is a further descent into clickbait hell. There are eight items, many of which never occur to anyone over twenty five. Number eight is the catch all: “You don’t think you’re an asshole.”
ARE YOU AN ASSHOLE? is a devolution of the multiple choice concept. “IN YOU’RE SPARE TIME YOU…? HANG OUT WITH BUDS, CUT YOURSELF, PLOT ASSASSINATIONS, EAT SMALL CHILDREN, KILL STUFF.” When you get to question 5 / 9, you see this: “WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? This question is under review, please proceed ahead.” When you try to move ahead, you are told “Please select an option.” The Belorussian hackers have work to do.
ASSHOLE Quiz is another import from ProProfs. “Your walking down the street and you see a man on the ground and his head is blown off. What would ya do? Ask him if he is O.K., Fain, Call the cops.” After you answer the question, you are told if you gave the correct answer.
Are you an asshole? and The Asshole Test are the last two results on page one. Both are useless. “You’re a good person. You’ll help your friend if he needs you, you’ll buy him a beer if he forgot his purse, and you won’t blame your girlfriend for listening Justin Bieber just because you don’t like this stupid ass faggot. People love you.” There is nothing like validation.
YooooHoooo
sun 1008 It is now sunday, october 8, 2017. Heston and PG left zaanaadoo yesterday. The original plan had been to leave on monday. However, reports of six inches of rain sunday night made that prospect unappealing. Today is a rainy sunday, full of laundry and unpacking. After yesterday… take down the camp, hike to the parking meadow, drive home… there is not much energy.
It was a splendid gathering. In 2015 it rained every day, while this year it was warm and glorious… until it was not. The people were great. The food and activities were great. The goats kept to themselves, and did not cause any problems. The report that follows is not comprehensive. What the internet does not know will not hurt her.
sat 0930 The first day gets off to a good start. Heston is ready at 8am. The journey proceeds smoothly, and zaanaadoo is reached before lunch. PG even gets a ride back from the parking meadow, a healthy hike over two steep ridges. After setting up camp, PG is beat. He makes it to dinner, but goes to sleep soon after. This is the first time, in a year, that PG has been away from a C-PAP machine.
Someone has a box of free books. PG finds Babycakes, from the Tales of the City series. He reads a few pages, and recognizes fresh meat. A TOTC book you have not read is a wonderful thing to find. This one star reviewer should be ignored. I hated reading it MakeupVixenon July 30, 2015 Required text at foothill college. I hated reading it. It wasn’t interesting at all. This should not be a required text for college, it was a waste. Nice bathroom break read but not for learning in school.
sun 1001 PG helped build a stone staircase in 1989. Since then, PG has devoted time to trimming weeds around the staircase. A resident now oversees the area, and PG consulted with her before proceeding. The area was in good shape, and did not need much work to look better.
Sunday morning saw the first morning circle of the gathering. Someone began by talking about the concept of eagar. PG noted that eager anagrams as e-rage, a popular pastime in modern life.
The heart circle has been described as “a faerie technology that is a cross between a Quaker meeting, a room temperature sweat lodge, and the collective experience of cruising on Christopher Street in 1972.” A talisman is passed around the circle. The person holding the talisman speaks, and the others listen. One innovation this time around was using simple, found, objects as the talisman. Many circles use feather encrusted instruments, often bought at a souvenir shop. The talismans this week included a tambourine, a rock, and the burned out aluminum shell of a small candle.
A couple of times a day, PG takes compost out of the kitchen. A collection of five gallon buckets contain food scraps. Somebody needs to take these buckets to the compost pile, and empty them. Unless you have a fork lift handy, it is best to empty these buckets before they are totally full. Taking out compost is a good job for people who want to help out, but don’t want to make a time commitment. If you have sexual fantasies involving the compost pile, you should keep these thoughts to yourself. Even if you are speaking to the John Waters look-a-like.
mon 1002 Today starts with that moment when a long winded friend is talking, and a pot of coffee … which will not last long … appears on the table. Breakfast at zaanaadoo is magic. Leftovers are combined in creative and delicious ways. PG used the phrase dog’s breakfast one morning, and his breakfast companion had never heard of such a thing. Fido should be so lucky.
The circle had a theme of serendipity, with PG calling for synchronicity. The circle was preceded by a yoohoo. This is a device for calling people to an event. It is shouted with high, high notes, and dragged out ewww sounds. This is how you alert the stragglers, scattered about the land. PG has never been fond of yoohoos, preferring to silently slack off, while others yodel the yoohoo. On this day, there were only two other voices, and every one was important. PG threw his head back, and a glorious falsetto yoooohoooo left his form. Was this growth, or regression? PG had the sense of crossing a boundary, into a lavender lagoon. (The spell check suggestion for yoohoo is boohoo.)
Meals at zaanaadoo are made by volunteers. PG made the mistake of standing idly on the front porch, when the call is made for kitchen volunteers. PG winds up shredding carrots for a salad, which is more work than you might think.
Dinner is fabulous, of course, and later there is drumming by the fire. PG gets into a chat, and hears some details about a shooting in Las Vegas. Zaanaadoo is off the grid, and PG is on a media fast. It was wonderful to spend a sunday without wondering who stood up for the national anthem. The outrage factory of our culture will have to feed itself.
tue 1003 This turns out to be the best day of the gathering for PG, and the one he will talk about least. Dinner was delayed, and PG fought boredom by washing dishes. These lazy days, full of time to kill with wonderful people, are a gift.
wed 1004 This was another uneventful day. At 5pm, there was a writing circle. 5 men were present, and everyone read something. 2 were porn writers. PG read a few poems. Someone read selections from Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Work in Her Own Words.
The last man had poems about a recent breakup. He introduced one by saying it was in the voice of a wise old black woman. The word “mammy” was used, and someone objected. The poem was read. To PG … used to the rhythyms of the south, where the white people sound much like the black people … there was nothing wrong with the poem. A wise old lady is a wise old lady.
thur 1005 One of the chores at zaanaadoo is the parking attendant. You stay on top of the driveway, and tell people to be sure to move their vehicle to the parking meadow. The rest of the time you hang out with whoever is there. You will hear some good gossip.
Atlanta peeps were producing thursday night dinner. After parking duty was over, PG stumbled into the kitchen. When PG has good instructions, and adequate supervision, he can avoid causing culinary damage. This night, the contribution consisted of shredding kale for a salad, mixing the salad, and spreading cheese over casseroles. Before long, PG was getting in the way, and left.
fri 1006 PG starts to write his notes, and realizes that 66 years ago his parents were married. PG quotes two cliches at the morning circle … two wrongs don’t make a right, if you can’t say anything good don’t say anything at all. These things too shall pass away.
PG had a chair, and would try to find level ground to read, and take notes. The carefree atmosphere would vanish when the parade of goats would pass through the yurt yard. PG was attacked by a goat in 2012, and does not enjoy the four hooved company.
At some point, rumors began to spread about 6 inches of rain falling sunday night. The weather had been so wonderful, you knew payback was coming. PG and Heston had been planning to leave on monday. The incoming rain party was something to miss. Departure was moved up to saturday.
The know talent show was friday night. This is always a high point of the gathering. This year, it was in front of the barn, with no microphone. PG’s loud voice came in handy. The 4 poems he read are posted below. These poems have been previously published, in graphic form: sausage jockey, wonder weasel. sonnet number two, such bugs and goblins, strumpet derriere,
sat 1007 The gathering is over. Take down the tent, move the gear to the barn, hike over to the parking meadow, collect your rider, and load the vehicle. Going up the driveway, gravel spun under the wheels for a heart stopping half second. The ride home was totally uneventful. The trip was 476 miles, door, to parking meadow, to door. In the 400 miles of interstate travel, PG did not have to slow down for traffic one time. That has never happened before, and will never happen again. Blessed be.
brothers of the fudge big boy combo play ~ microwave popcorn hot dog engineer
bowling in the basement hershey highway ~ liquor in the front poker in the rear
intestinal tourist private first class ~ backdoor barbeque michelangelo
anal chainsaw massacre backstage pass ~ vegan hotpocket curly larry moe
hunker down brown town panorama ~ sausage jockey creeper peeper
sliding all the way to lower alabama ~ stick it in stick it in deeper deeper
dance the chocolate chacha elton john ~ driving on on on auf der autobahn
shake hands with a salami cluster bomb ~ its got a beat you can dance to it
whitewash the fence with huck and tom ~ spray whipped cream on a banana split
trigger therapeutic trouser snake ~ satin head serpent of carnal knowledge
tenderize lumberjack happy tube steak ~ put mr. kleenex’s kids through college
pull your own baloney pony weight ~ put relish on your hot dog spaghetti
play tag with your pink torpedo mate ~ wax one-eyed wonder weasel chevy
plug in semen extraction toaster ~ calibrate satanic surge protector
ram the ham secret sauce roaster ~ tip off the crazy hand jive inspector
bake brownies blow mud build a log cabin ~ bust a grumpie burn a mule blow ordure
code brown crap factory get happy win ~ lubrication defecation manure
discharge doo doo craptastic driver ball ~ drop kids off bomber pool hot honkey night
wolf bait trout duke it out go down the hall ~ dump trump wailin’ palin burger delight
deep fried twinkie luther burger breakfast ~ regurgitation free the turtle fast
expel shy hamster dumper diver lunch ~ grease the bowl grow a tail corpulent crunch
fly fecal matter effluent sinner ~ give birth to future state trooper dinner
thou errant doghearted measle squid ~ gorbellied whoreson haggard booby hatch
you should be women yet your beards forbid ~ tottering obscene greasy tallow-catch
hence, horrible villain I’ll spurn thine eyes ~ like balls before me I’ll unhair thy head
poisonous bunch-back’d toadstool surprise ~ brine smarting in lingering pickle dead
thou clay-brained guts knotty-pated fool ~ cockered ill-breeding beef witted tool
thine horrid image doth unfix my hair ~ per bootless mongrel strumpet derrière
your virginity breeds mites much like a cheese ~ as tedious as tired old whore strip tease
thou dankish unchin-snouted malcontent ~ spleeny dog hearted onion-eyed pignut
bawdy flap-mouthed giggler testament ~ frothy beetle-headed gudgeon mac butt
thy hugger bugger kiss is comfortless ~ as frozen water to a hungry snake
wayward canker-blossom pox-mark putress ~ thou mangled sheep-biting bladder forsake
i scorn you, scurvy companion buttock ~ misbegotten folly-fallen rut sock
fawning dizzy eyed porcine maggot-pie ~ roguish earth-vexing bugbear lullaby
rascally, cheating, poor lack-linen mate ~ away you moldy old rogue ruminate
I’m Christian, Butt I’m Not
PG does not keep up with viral videos. He depends on warm-and-fuzzies like Matt Walsh and Mollie Ziegler Hemingway for periodic outrage alerts. The latest target of the screed stoppers is from Buzzfeed Yellow, I’m Christian, But I’m Not. The latest report from YouTube shows 765,694 views. Viral is not as hot as it used to be. This is a repost.
The video shows some well scrubbed younguns. They say things like “I’m Christian but I’m not close-minded … but I am not judgmental … but I don’t place myself on a pedestal.” (Thank you Mollie Ziegler Hemingway for the transcript.)
The next part is the answer to the question “What are you?” The high point of this is where the girl says “I do believe in monogamy before sex but I will give you sex advice if you need it.” The last part is answers to “What do you want people to know about Christianity?” “We shouldn’t be judged on just the people that you see in the media, or just the people that you’ve met in everyday life. every Christian is different, and we deserve a chance to explain ourselves.”
Well, no you don’t. PG has had a horrendous experience with Jesus. The “bad Christians” are often the loudest, and make the deepest impressions. The “bad Christians” are usually supported by the “good Christians.” The sorry behavior is somehow excused by the ideology. After all, Jesus died for your sins, we are going to heaven, and you are going to hell. And we deserve a chance to shove that rhetoric in your face one more time.
If you type in “I’m Christian but I’m not” to Google, and it’s wholly owned subsidiary YouTube, you will see the critics loud and clear. Many have pointed out that ICBIN does not say the name “Jesus.” Others say that Christians are supposed to be hated. The YouTube comments are bizarre, as usual.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Dick Nixon TV Critic
The text below is a conversation between Mr. Nixon, John D. Ehrlichman, and H. R. Haldeman. The tape was made May 13, 1971. This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
NIXON: … CBS … glorifying homosexuality.
EHRLICHMAN: A panel show?
H. R. HALDEMAN: No, it’s a regular show. It’s on every week. It’s usually just done in the guy’s home. It’s usually just that guy, who’s a hard hat.
NIXON: That’s right; he’s a hard hat.
EHRLICHMAN: He always looks like a slob.
NIXON: Looks like Jackie Gleason.
HALDEMAN: He has this hippie son-in-law, and usually the general trend is to downgrade him and upgrade the son-in-law–make the square hard hat out to be bad. But a few weeks ago, they had one in which the guy, the son-in-law, wrote a letter to you, President Nixon, to raise hell about something. And the guy said, “You will not write that letter from my home!” Then said, “I’m going to write President Nixon,” took off all those sloppy clothes, shaved, and went to his desk and got ready to write his letter to President Nixon. And apparently it was a good episode.
EHRLICHMAN: What’s it called?
NIXON: “Archie’s Guys.” Archie is sitting here with his hippie son-in-law, married to the screwball daughter. The son-in-law apparently goes both ways. This guy. He’s obviously queer–wears an ascot–but not offensively so. Very clever. Uses nice language. Shows pictures of his parents. And so Arch goes down to the bar. Sees his best friend, who used to play professional football. Virile, strong, this and that. Then the fairy comes into the bar. I don’t mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don’t think you glorify it on public television, homosexuality, even more than you glorify whores. We all know we have weaknesses. But, goddammit, what do you think that does to kids? You know what happened to the Greeks! Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo. We all know that. So was Socrates.
EHRLICHMAN: But he never had the influence television had.
NIXON: You know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags. Neither in a public way. You know what happened to the popes? They were layin’ the nuns; that’s been goin’ on for years, centuries. But the Catholic Church went to hell three or four centuries ago. It was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. That’s what’s happened to Britain. It happened earlier to France. Let’s look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn, they root ’em out. They don’t let ’em around at all. I don’t know what they do with them. Look at this country. You think the Russians allow dope? Homosexuality, dope, immorality, are the enemies of strong societies. That’s why the Communists and left-wingers are clinging to one another. They’re trying to destroy us. I know Moynihan will disagree with this, and Mitchell will. But, goddamn, we have to stand up to this.
EHRLICHMAN: It’s fatal liberality.
NIXON: Huh?
EHRLICHMAN: It’s fatal liberality. And with its use on television, it has such leverage.
NIXON: You know what’s happened [in northern California]?
EHRLICHMAN: San Francisco has just gone clear over.
NIXON: But it’s not just the ratty part of town. The upper class in San Francisco is that way. The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time–it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can’t shake hands with anybody from San Francisco. … Decorators. They got to do something. But we don’t have to glorify it. You know one of the reasons fashions have made women look so terrible is because the designers hate women. Designers taking it out on the women. Now they’re trying to get some more sexy things coming on again.
EHRLICHMAN: Hot pants.
NIXON: Jesus Christ.
Am I A Racist?
@Nero, the fun loving offspring of Mr. Trump, put up a tweet today. It was a silhouette image, with messed up hair. The text below read “You’re racist because you like other races a little too much. You might be suffering …” One commenter said “@Shallchair @Nero Holy shit this quiz is even worse than average. Almost every question is nonsense. Then again, I don’t do a lot of shitty quizzes.”
PG decided to Google am i a racist quiz. If you are interested in the results, read on. If you want to skip over the text, and look at the pictures (from The Library of Congress.), then PG will be hurt and offended. The pictures are from the the Galveston Bathing Review, 1926. This is a repost.
“Are You A Racist?,” by Quibblo, is apparently the test that @Nero took. “This test is to gauge whether or not you have racist tendencies. Answer truthfully, remember this is private so only you will know your results. There are varying degrees of racism and you should know exactly where you stand.” The Quibblo test is 10 multiple choice questions, like this one: “Out of this list, who do you admire the most ? David Duke, Nelson Mandela, Eminem, My mom or dad, George Bush, Jesus, Buddha, or the prophet Mohammed.” The result for PG: Not Really Racist “You don’t care about race. A person is a person and you judge people based on the individual. You have friends of all kinds of races, but you’ll probably marry your own race. You’re not averse to any particular race though. Suggestion: Live and Let Live Similar Personalities: Sammy Davis Jr., Bill Clinton, Bruce Lee”
“The How Racist Are You Test” is from helloquizzy. “yea it’s finally here. were gonna test you and see just how racist you really are” This is a series of yes/no questions. Some of the statements: “Have you ever met a person of a different race? Is there a certain race you don’t like? Do you think black people naturally have bigger d*icks?, Do you think white people can’t dance?” When PG tried to get the results, the page froze.
“Are You Racist? Quiz” is by ProProfs. “Have you ever thought about the act of racism? Do you ever wonder if you are a racist? This quiz will make you think about this topic more in depth and hopefully you will realize something new about your self that never occurred to you before you took this quiz. The main thing to remember while completing this quiz, is to be as honest as possible!” There are 10 multiple choice questions here. “What is your first reaction when seeing a Caucasian women with an African American child? “Awe he/she is so cute!” “Good for them.” “That child is probably adopted.” “I wonder if the father is in their life.” “She is so trashy!”. When you reach the end, and ask for results, nothing happens. The popup says, “We like you a lot, you can also like us.”
“The Racist Test” is from AllTheTests. “Are you racist? Are you tolerant of those of a different race? Take this test to find out!” This is 10 multiple choice questions. “Are you proud of your race? Oh yes! I am so proud of my race. Not really. Being proud of your race is idiotic. No, I am ashamed! ” The results here were unusual. “For 50 % you are: You are not racist. You believe people are equal. 40 % you are: You are racist, you hate mixed raced people and some races. For 10 % you are: You’re a very racist individual. You hate people who are not of your race and who are mixed raced.”
“How racist are you?” is from GotoQuiz. “Racism is judging someone by their ethnicity, something that is truly wrong and unwanted. Unsurprisingly, most people are against racists. However, there are a few who aren’t… But…are YOU racist? Did it ever cross your mind? Even once? If it did, then take this quiz and see just how racist you really are…you just might be surprised.” There are 13 multiple choice questions. “Do you wear pointy white hats? Yeah all the time, Yes, Sometimes, Rarely, No, NEVER! THAT’S RACIST” This quiz gave, possibly, the most accurate result. “You are 18% Racist… You’re a little bit racist. It’s human nature to be somewhat stereotypic, so for the most part you’re fine. But you could be less racist…. Thanks for taking the quiz. Hopefully you scored low and are not racist. But if you scored high…I strongly suggest you change your ways, because racism is wrong.”
At this point, it should be apparent that these tests are not to be taken seriously. They are flashy clickbait. Most of the answers are the least bad result, rather than the most right. The issues of systemic oppression in law enforcement, jobs, education, and housing are ignored in favor of talk about “pointy white hats.” Race relations are a serious matter, and they are not well served by superficial jibber jabber. The problem is, the overall “dialog” on race in America is just as trashy as these tests. Making insulting jokes about white sheets only goes so far.
Implicit association test is an attempt to be serious. This purportedly scientific test shows a slide show, and the viewer answers questions with the keyboard. Chamblee54 has taken the Implicit Association Test before, and was not impressed.
“The are you a racist Test” is from nerdtests. “this is a test just for fun to se if it is really as you say “what im not a racist” well i say prove it” There are 10 multiple choice questions. “what do you think of fat people- they are cute, why not, piggie piggie piggie, i think they came from uranus or something, they should be drenched wiht their own fat” “do you think of yourself as a rasist- Yes, No, maybe? The results: “For: not a racist 52% scored higher, and 47% scored lower. The average Raw Score is: 60.6, your’s was: 34.” If you understand that, you might be a nerd.
How To Tell If You’re A Racist. A Test. is from medium.com, a well meaning website. It is not an internet quiz, but a think piece. It has a list of statements, like “You don’t know or care what WoC stands for.” “You hide behind the etymology of the word “thug”.” “You remind people slavery is over.” “You bring up Oprah Winfrey in any discussion about the struggle of the black community.” Your score is based on how many of the statements apply to you. If you agree with 5 or more: “Yes. You are a racist. Learn more. Talk less.”
How racist are you? is from pollplace. “This is to see if your really racist or could care less who is black,white Mexican or green.” There are 6 multiple choice questions. “In the NBA there is about 75% more blacks than any other race.What do you feel about that. – Say I don’t know why blacks can’t play any better than whites etc. no way. Say that’s the way it should be blacks are way better. It doesn’t bother you,you are a fan of the NBA regardless. I have love for all NBA players,white,black,etc. Whatever it is,it’s fine with me.” The result: “How racist are you? You are another Martin Luther King Jr. You love everybody for who they are,I’m sure that someone of another race than yours asked for your last dollar you would give it to them.Well would you.”
Paul Krassner
Paul Krassner is alive at eighty five. He survives Lenny Bruce, Abbie Hoffman, Groucho Marx, and Lyndon Johnson. His magazine, The The Realist, is now available as an online archive.
PG was recently looking for background noise to compliment his photomongering. Somewhere along the way, he found episodes of WTF podcast to be available on Youtube. He made a list of shows he wanted to see, including Paul Krassner. When Mr. Google was recruited to find the show, other things floated to the surface. This is how Mr. Google operates.
An onion is more than an internet namesake. It lends a lively flavor, both cooked and raw. The onion consists of many layers of thin skin. These can be peeled off, as you get deeper and deeper into the root. A thin skinned root that gives you bad breath…. an aromatic symbol for the sixties.
When you go looking for WTF/Krassner, you are directed to issue 74 of The Realist. The feature story is the missing segments of a John Kennedy biography. On page 18, Jackie Kennedy saw more of Lyndon Johnson than she needed to see.
“That man was crouching over the corpse, no longer chuckling but breathing hard and moving his body rhythmically. … And then I realized – there is only one way to say this – he was literally fucking my husband in the throat. In the bullet wound in front of the throat. He reached a climax, and dismounted. I froze. The next thing I remember, he was being sworn in as the new President.”
Page two of issue 74 is the letters to the editor. The featured scribe is John L. Timmons, Secretary, Mattachine Society of N.Y. He wrote “Letter From A Homosexual,” in response to a cartoon page in issue 69, fag battalion. Using KY to lubricate a rifle is not a good idea.
At the time, America was fighting a war in Vietnam. Young men were given the choice of go in the army, or go to prison. It was ugly. There was a group, “The committee to fight the exclusion of homosexuals from the armed forces.”
The Mattachine Society was neutral. Some members supported the war, and some were opposed. It distracted from the overall agenda to take sides in other disputes. The editors at The Realist agreed. “… homosexuals who don’t want to be drafted will no longer be able to exploit their deviation rather than face the consequences of conscientious objection.”
When issue 74 was published, Walt Disney was still alive. This may account for the action on page 12. Maybe Uncle Walt did not want his animated actors to be drafted for active duty. The activities on page 12 might not be sufficient to have the players excused from active duty, however. By this stage of the war, the local draft boards were not accepting excuses.
Getting back to Paul Krassner… he founded the YIPPIES with Abbie Hoffman, took LSD with Groucho Marx, and published a satiric magazine without advertising. Only the last part can be confirmed. After the description of Lyndon Johnson’s post mortem dentistry, who knows what is real, and what is fake. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. The opinions expressed in this repost are in no way, shape, or form connected to that fine institution.
Killed By Police Yesterday
The latest twist in the police killing story involves football players kneeling during the national anthem. Some say they are protesting police brutality and racism, while others say they are attention whores. It has been two days since kneelgate went down. How has this affected officer involved shootings? Lets take a look at the last two days. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Killed By Police shows six incidents on 0925 and 0926. (One incident took place 0923, but is listed by KBP on 0925.) All six, apparently, were men. The race was not specifed in four cases, with one white man, and one black man in the other two cases. Suicide by police is mentioned in two cases. All six killings appear to be justified, pending further investigation. Links to all these incidents are provided. The reader is encouraged to read more, and to draw their own conclusions.
COOLIN ID has the shortest story today. “State police said deputies were attempting to serve a felony arrest warrant on a male subject at approximately 9 a.m. The male was armed and exhibited hostile behavior to the deputies, which prompted them to open fire, according to an ISP news release.”
Eugene OR is one of the suicide-by-police stories “The man … had entered a woman’s apartment … about 3:37 a.m., police said. The man, who was armed with a rifle, had taken the woman and a child hostage … The woman called 911 and told police that the man had threatened to kill her and her child, and had made statements that he wanted to be killed by police. (Police Chief Pete) Kerns said that it was not clear whether the man knew the woman.
By the time officers arrived, the man had been forced out of the woman’s apartment during a struggle with another adult in the apartment. Police believed he went to a relative’s apartment in the same complex, so officers checked there and saw him inside. Officers ordered him to come out with his hands up. The man allegedly came out with the rifle pointed at police, and two officers fired at him, police said. He was taken to a hospital, where he later died.”
“I opened the door, and he’s there all bloody,” said Gary Nielsen, the suspects uncle who lives in the complex. “He kept telling me to shut up.” Nielsen says he tried to find out why his nephew was there at 3:30 in the morning, why he was bloody, and why he had a rifle.
Police say they located the suspect in the apartment and asked him to come out with his hands up. Nielsen says he couldn’t talk or move, because his nephew had tried to create a barricade inside the apartment. “Hell, I couldn’t get to the door. There was so much stuff that he threw around – I’m just sick.” … Now all that’s left of the scene is Nielsen’s disheveled apartment, as family, neighbors and police try to make sense of what happened early on Tuesday morning. “I never thought he would do such a thing,” said Nielsen.”
Fairview TN saw a white man killed. “The man killed by authorities overnight in Williamson County has been identified by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation as 50-year-old Jeffory Hughes.” There is another report, Man killed by Fairview police had criminal record.
“It all started when officers with the Fairview Police Department responded to a disturbance at a home on Hill Hughes Road around 1 a.m. Tuesday. Hughes reportedly came outside and confronted the officers armed with a gun. After repeated attempts to get him to drop the weapon, an officer used a taser on the suspect, but it didn’t work. That’s when Hughes allegedly drew his own weapon and the other officer opened fire. One neighbor reported hearing four shots at 1:19 a.m., WTVF reported.”
KBP lists another incident for 0925, even though it took place on 0923. The Ellis County OK death is the most suspicious of the 6 killings. “Oklahoma Highway Patrol confirmed an Ellis County Sheriff’s deputy was shot Saturday afternoon near Fargo, about 20 miles West of Woodward. Deputy Dave Thomas was shot in the leg and taken to a Woodward hospital but has since been treated and released. Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation public information officer Jessica Brown said OSBI was called to investigate around 1 p.m. Authorities say the suspect barricaded himself in a home in the area. The standoff continued for hours into the evening. Tear gas was reportedly used in an attempt to evacuate the suspect out of his home, according to police and OHP radio chatter. At approximately 9:30 p.m., the house in which the suspect barricaded himself inside of became fully engulfed in flames. Authorities have not confirmed the cause of fire.” Did the authorities set the house on fire? While the use of force seems to be justified here, arson might not be the best way to do it.
Las Vegas NV saw a Monday morning killing. “A man who told 911 dispatchers Sunday night that he wanted to “blast it out” with police died early Monday when a Metropolitan Police Department officer shot him inside a hospital emergency room. The unidentified man was shot just after 4:10 a.m. at University Medical Center … events leading up to his death started at 10:40 p.m. Sunday. That’s when the man killed called 911, and told dispatchers he was armed and feeling suicidal.
When officers arrived just before 11 p.m. Sunday, … the man was found passed out on the ground. Arriving officers ran the man’s information through a police database and found he had an outstanding felony warrant out for his arrest. But the man was too intoxicated to pass the booking process at the Clark County Detention Center, and was taken to University Medical Center.
A corrections officer from the jail met the patrol officer and the man inside an emergency room at the hospital. When the two officers stepped out of the room to speak, the corrections officer left his bag inside the room with the suspect. “He arrived with a bag they commonly use when they come to the hospital to guard suspects.” The bag contained a Taser along with shackles and paperwork.
While alone in the room, the suspect armed himself with the corrections officer’s Taser. Shortly after, a nurse and a security guard entered the room. Almost immediately, the suspect pointed the Taser toward the security guard. When the guard and nurse ran out of the room, the patrol officer stepped back into the room. The suspect then shifted his focus to the officer. The patrol officer fired one round at the suspect. The suspect was pronounced dead at the medical center by a doctor.”
Palmetto FL saw a black man killed on Monday. “At about 1:30 a.m. Monday, police were called to the 1800 block of Fifth Avenue West after Robinson’s father called 911 to report that his son had just fired multiple shots outside his home. Within a couple minutes of the call, police officers spotted Robinson leaving the area and attempted to pull him over. When Robinson refused to stop, Tyler said, a pursuit ensued. Robinson lost control of his vehicle and crashed at the intersection of Bayshore Road and Eighth Avenue West. Robinson ran into the Memphis Cemetery, and when Uruchima and Peters followed him, an exchange of gunfire followed during which Robinson was shot. …. Robinson had … convictions for sale of cocaine, possession of a controlled substance and felony battery.”
2016 Murder Statistics
Crime in the U.S. • 2016 has been issued. It is more statistics about crime than you could consume in a lifetime. This blog published a report, 2015 Murder Statistics. These numbers were broken down into white people and black people. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Expanded Homicide Data Table 1 is the source of murder statistics. These numbers are broken down by race, gender, ethnicity, and other factors. (Hispanic is considered an ethnicity, rather than a race. Hispanic people are included in racial breakdowns according to their race.) In 2016, there were 15,070 murder victims. The gender breakdown is 11,821 male, 3,208 female, and 41 unknown.
QuickFacts, from the U.S. Census Bureau, is the source of population numbers. On July 1, 2016, there were 323,127,513 people in the United States. White people were 76.9% (248,485,057), and black people were 13.3% (42,975,959).
15,070 murder victims breaks down into white 6,576, black 7,881, other race 400, and unknown race 213. (29 of the unknown race victims were also unknown gender.) If you divide the number of murder victims by the population, you get the number of murder victims per million. The overall population lost 46.63 people per million. For white people, there were 26.46 murder victims per million. For black people, there were 183.38 murder victims per million.
I
During a recent facebook deterioration, on social issues, someone posted a 410 word statement. PG noted the promiscuous use of first person singular. A study ensued.
1 – I, or verb contractions using I, occurs 27 times in this statement.
2 – I was used in the first seven sentences. The eighth sentence did not have I, but did contain me.
3 – The tenth sentence does not have I, but does contain my.
4 – The last sentence has I five times. The first two have I three times. Six sentences use I twice.
5 – There are 410 words in this statement. There are 15 sentences. Six percent of these words are I.
6 – I is the shortest word in the English language. It is also possibly the least important.
Many people use the word I too often. The use of this word implies that the listener is interested in what the speaker thinks or does. When someone says I, the lips are usually moving. I is the central letter in both lie and believe. (As another FBF noted, I statements can be useful.)
This does not take away the controversy over what word, in the language, is the shortest. A British facility, the Daily Mail, ran a story,The shortest word in English? Depends on how you measure it
Q. We all know that the longest word in the English language is Floccinaucinihili-pilification, (Spell check suggestion:Oversimplification) meaning inconsiderable or trifling. But what is the shortest word in the English language?
A. This is a controversy that has divided the English-speaking community for more than a century. One faction, headed by Dr Robert Beauchamp from the Oxford English Dictionary, believes that the shortest word in the English language is ‘a’, while another faction, headed by Professor Melanie Kurtz from Chicago University, contends that it is ‘I’.
In his most recent book on the subject, Further Arguments In Favour Of A (OUP, £19.99), Dr Beauchamp claims that, though ‘I’ is arguably the thinnest word in the English language, ‘a’ is the shortest, in the sense that it is not as high.
Professor Kurtz, on the other hand, has argued in a number of pamphlets that, if one unravels the various loops and curls that form a single ‘a’, and stretch it into a single horizontal or perpendicular line, then the letter in question is undoubtedly longer than ‘I’.
Meanwhile, dissident scholars continue to argue the case for ‘o’ and for small ‘i’, though in broader academic circles the first is generally dismissed as not really a word and the second is felt to be questionable: they maintain that the gap between the little dot and the main body of the word/letter is a constituent part of the whole and cannot be discounted when it comes to the full measurement.
One of the comments is highly repeatable. “is it true…..the shortest sentence is ..I am. and the longest sentence…I do.?” – Tommy Atkins Blighty, 02/10/2009 18:45
In the digital age, capital letters are used less and less. If the lower case i is used as a first person singular, then it is both the shortest and the skinniest. The dot on the lower case i is known as the tittle. It is not known what the tittle thinks of the jot, or whether they believe each other.
For those not suffering platitude fatigue, here are the 21 Most Important Words in the English Language. The most important word: We ~ The two most important words: Thank You ~ The three most important words: All is forgiven ~ The four most important words: What is your opinion ~ The Five most important words: You did a good job ~ The six most important words: I want to understand you better ~ The least important word: I.”
A site called vocabula has a feature on the worst words in english. There are two phrases using I.
I mean Meaningless formula (a verbal tic, if you will) used habitually by many to begin nearly every sentence, especially those that are not intended to clarify anything preceding them. I need you to … A completely unacceptable replacement for “please.”
Since we cannot say, for certain, that I is the shortest word in the language, the uncertainty about the longest word should not be surprising. The longest word in German would be a short story by itself. According to Los Angeles Trade-Technical College “The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters ispneumonoultra-microscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.” (Spell check suggestion:ultramontane-microscopicsilicovolcanoconioses)
Part two of this feature is about a popular contender for the longest word. It is known here as The S Word. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This repost is written like H.P. Lovecraft.
There is a feature today on NPR discussing ” “What’s The Longest Word In The English Language?”. The old crowd pleaser antidisestablishmentarianism was dismissed as “Just a bundle of suffixes and prefixes piled up into a little attention-grabbing hummock.” It also has 28 letters, which won’t even get it into the playoffs.
When it comes to big words, there is nothing like science. In 1964, a book called “Chemical Abstracts” published a 1,185 letter word, referring to a protein found in the tobacco mosaic virus. It starts with glu and ends with sine. This word is 8.44 tweets long.
Words like glu…sine are not used often, which brings us to the obvious winner, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It is the theme song for a dance routine in a movie starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke , and a few dozen animated characters.
According to the urban dictionary, Miss Andrews was not fond of Rob Petrie. “It’s reported that Ms. Andrews replied, “Fuck you! I hate you!! You’re a ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidouchebag’!!!! And get away from my door!! Why don’t you go eat “A Spoonful of Feces “!!!” (This problem might have been caused by SupercalifragilisticexpiHalitosis )
At 34 letters, the s word is the longest english word that most of us have heard of. While it probably was made up by over-imaginative songwriters, it is defined by a reputed dictionary. It translates as superkalifragilistikexpialigetisch (German), supercalifragilistichespiralidoso(Italian) and supercalifragilisticoespialidoso (Spanish). The French are too cool to use it.
A website called Straightdope has a highly entertaining feature called Is “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” a real word referring to Irish hookers? . “Our research first took us to a lawsuit that was filed after the movie came out by Life Music, Inc., against Wonderland Music, the publisher of the Mary Poppins song. It was a copyright infringement suit brought by Barney Young and Gloria Parker, who had written a song in 1949 entitled “Supercalafajaistickespeealadojus” and shown it to Disney in 1951. They asked for twelve million dollars in damages. The suit was decided in the Shermans’ favor because, among other reasons, affidavits were produced from two New Yorkers, Stanley Eichenbaum and Clara Colclaster, who claimed that “variants of the word were known to and used by them many years prior to 1949.”
The decision makes for fairly humorous reading. Apparently the judge got tired of writing out the whole word, so every time it had to be mentioned it was replaced by the phrase “the word” as if it were some loathsome artifact that had to be held at arm’s length. “
There is another story that has the s word appearing in a humor magazine at Syracuse University. An archivist named Mary O’Brien says that rumor surfaces every ten years or so, and is not true. Another old husbands tale has children in summer camps taught a song super-cadja-flawjalistic-espealedojus. This cannot be confirmed or denied.
As for the tale about Irish entrepreneurs , there is a story in Maxim magazine. It says “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, the word supposedly coined by Mary Poppins to make kids sound “precocious,” was actually invented by turn-of-the-century Scottish coal miners. It was used to request “the works” from prostitutes by men too shy to recite specific acts.” The link supplied by StraightDope does not work.
Mystics And Statistics
In a recent survey, 78.7% percent of the respondents agree with the statement “Statistics can be trusted to give an accurate description of the facts”.
Statistics are a part of modern life. Numbers tell us who is expected to win, who is expected to lose, and how many men wear a tie. Statistics are often misleading, or an outright lie. And yet, people believe statistics. (The middle three letters of believe are lie).
Talk about statistics is little better. Mark Twain gets the credit/blame for popularizing the phrase, “lies, damn lies, and statistics”. According to Wikipedia , Mr. Clemens may have been mistaken. “Twain popularized the saying in “Chapters from My Autobiography”, published in the North American Review in 1906. “Figures often beguile me,” he wrote, “particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: ‘There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.'”…”The term was popularised in the United States by Mark Twain (among others), who attributed it to the 19th Century British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli (1804–1881): “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” However, the phrase is not found in any of Disraeli’s works and the earliest known appearances were years after his death.”
Mr. Twain was in the twilight of his career, and angry at aggressive militarism. Why would he would give credit/blame for a phrase to a conservative Prime Minister of England, dead twenty five years?
When PG took English101, the teacher was an inspiring lady named Ann Peets. Between stories of Faulkner and comma splices, she contributed this gem. ” The best way to win an argument is to use statistics. The best way to use statistics is to make them up. ”
In 1954, a bestselling book came out, “How to Lie with Statistics .” The premise was that the pros knew the tricks, and the public has a right to self defense. There are numerous examples of the ways that you can lie with numbers just like you lie with words. Calculator lips don’t move.
One word to watch out for is average . The three most popular types are mean, median, and mode. Mean is the one most people think of as average…you add all the figures up, and divide by the number of entries. In median, you line up the entries in numeric value, and choose the entry in the middle. In mode, the number that the most entries identify with is the average. Any one of these three can be called average, and yet none might describe the typical entry.
HT to Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub for attributing the LDL&S quote to Mr. Disraeli. MFB was talking about global warming denial, a cesspool of lies and statistics. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. These pictures were taken by Ansel Adams at a relocation camp for Japanese Americans during World War II. Pictures of Mark Twain were recently posted. This is a repost.
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