Happy Birthday Bill Burroughs
February 5, 1914, was the birth day of William Seward Burroughs Jr. For the rest of this piece he will be known as WSB. This is both a handy abbreviation, as well as a touch of irony for Atlanta readers. WSB radio is a 50k watt clear channell am station, owned by the same media oligarchs that own the fishwrapper and channel two. The radio tv clusterfuck has long been the symbol of Peachtree Street white column respectability. Just to be clear/queer, from here on out in this feature WSB will mean a certain junkie writer, not welcome south brother.
This is a good day for birthdays. Hank Aaron in 1934. Adlai Stevenson in 1900. Peg Entwhistle in 1908. The last one lived until 1932, when she jumped off the Hollywoodland sign.
A well thought of radio institution called “This American Life” has a show this week, Burroughs101. Actually, there is a class by that name, and there will be an exam at the end of the semester. The show is narrated by Iggy Pop. It begins with a warning. “A warning. The following program contains references to homosexuality, drug use, sex with aliens, violence, and kitty cats. What did you expect?” The show was originally cobbled together by the BBC, which might explain things a bit.
Iggy Pop did a show at the 688 club. PG was in the audience. A man named Ivan Kral was in the band. When Mr. Kral came on stage, he blew his nose, and a white powder booger came out. The performance was not so much a concert as it was an endurance test.
The show has the lazy bloggers friend, the transcript. There are some lovely quotes. This show is not going to candy coat the bastard. This is a man who shot his wife while playing William Tell, and got away with it. As one non admirer says “I don’t just take the Burroughs myth with a pinch of salt. I view it as a unpleasant slug crawling across the lawn of literature. And I like to pour salt on it.”
Or this one. “Having used heroin yourself– I think used is a bit of an understatement. I was a heroin addict on and off for pushing a quarter of a century. For myself, I find the whole Burroughs myth pretty repulsive, actually. Because I understand what happened to me. I was an addict in waiting. I got my form prize or my English prize at The Naked Lunch. And a year and a half later, I was sticking needles in my arm. … You could be lying in some pestilential piss-soaked squat in the bowels of the city listening to some moron totaled on drugs drooling on and talking about Burroughs, because Burroughs was their Leon Trotsky. He was their Archbishop of Canterbury. He was the Pope. “
One of the questions of the early eighties was whether or not WSB was shooting up. Forget the nonsense about there not being any old junkies. Supposedly Ray Charles never really quit using heroin. So, in 1981, WSB was living somewhere in Manhattan, and it was a right of passage to go to the bunker and take heroin to him. Since he was the star, he used the needle first, which was an important distinction in those days … hiv did not have a name but was running wild through the junkie veins and queer buttholes of Reaganite America. We don’t know if WSB got hiv or not. He made it until August 2, 1997, when a heart attack sent him to meet his maker. Contemporary Allen Ginsberg cashed in his chips earlier that year. In Washington, silly billy POTUS was getting knob jobs from Monica Lewinsky, who now gives TED talks by calling herself a social activist. WSB was a social activist, at a time when few would publicly admit to such a distinction.
The answer to your question is, yes, WSB was shooting dope in 1981. Somebody saw this as being an unhealthy situation, and arranged for him to move to Lawrence KS. This was his home until WSB went to live with Jesus, who was pissed because WSB didn’t bring him any smack.
So WSB was living the beat life, shooting dope, fucking boys, and just being a general mess. In his spare time he was writing books. Naked Lunch was busted for obscenity, and became his best known work. It is the first thing by WSB that PG tried to read, making it to page twenty six before declaring the endeavor a hopeless waste of brain cells.
It is not known how much of Naked Lunch Dorothy Kilgallen read. She was called as a witness during an obscenity trial for Lenny Bruce. ” …There’s another book called The Naked Lunch which I couldn’t even finish reading, but it’s published, and I think the author should be in jail and he used– Q. Unfortunately we can’t do everything at once, Miss Kilgallen. Are you judging the non-obscene quality and the artistic quality of Bruce by the fact that The Naked Lunch is a book which, as of this date, is sold in the community? A. No, I’m not. I just mentioned it because you asked me for some books. Q. And The Naked Lunch is a book you found impossible to read, is that correct? A. Yes, I found it revolting. Q. What was revolting about it? A. Just the way it was written.”
Another expert witness to testify … to a BBC reporter, not a New York courtroom … is Marcus Ewert. A Dunwoody native, Mr. Ewert took literary groupiedom to ridiculous lengths with Allen Ginsberg and WSB. “We’re getting into bed, and I’m sticking my legs down under the covers. There’s this bump that my legs feel. And I’m like, “Oh, what’s this hard thing my legs are bumping against, William?” And he said, “Oh, that’s the gun.” I said, “Is it a loaded gun?” He said, “Of course it’s loaded.” You’d sleep with a lover with a loaded gun in your bed. That’s kind of a metaphor waiting to happen.”
Mr. Marcus is now a children’s book author. An Amazon reader says this about 10,000 Dresses. “I returned mine today and was appalled as I read the story to my son before reading it to myself. Kids need to feel safe at home, especially when dealing with gender non-conformity. I wish the author would have reconcilled the reactions of the family members. It is great to have stories out there addressing gender non-conformity in kids, but we have a huge responsibility to make sure they are sending the right message.”
The death of Joan Vollmer is discussed. This is the lady who was playing William Tell one night, with fatal consequences. Some say accident, some say intentional. The word uxoricide is used, meaning the act of killing one’s wife.
The cut up technique is discussed. The show goes on to talk about how much WSB liked cats. He died, and people said nice things about him. Pictures tonight are from The Library of Congress.
Bad Monkey
When getting started on this book report, PG copied the title. The initials are BM. A certain school of thought has it that the expression your mother uses for feces has an impact on your life. For PG, this is BM, as in short for bowel movement. Someone told PG’s mom that this was the “proper” word for animal waste. BM has a smarmy, slightly uppity taste that is missing with “poop.” BM has none of the onomatopoeic utility of “shit.” BM can also stand for black male.
Is this Carl Hiassen novel, Bad Monkey, similar to BM in more ways than one? It is not the best book by Mr. Hiassen. There are a few too many coincidences. The plot twists are just a bit on the implausible side. It is quite possibly word factory product. There is a demand for Carl Hiassen stories, and the market demands that they be written. Maybe this one was a contractual obligation.
Still, it is not a shitty book. The devil is in the details. When the teenage lover of one character comes to Florida with his old lady, the told is gleefully told. Loverboy is now fat and bald, and has a bite mark above his left nipple. The hero wants him to put his shirt on.
Readers of Mr. Hiassen know the formula. There is a disgraced law officer, who in this story is a restaurant inspector. There is a hideous crime, which the DLO gets involved in, even though it is totally none of his business. The perpetrators are unconventional, sadistic, greedy, and not terribly bright. The developers are fouling the Florida landscape, which is hot, buggy, and hurricane prone.
The usual quota of weirdos is present. Mr. Hiassen says he does not make up anything, but waters down what happens in what is facetiously known as real life. Skink and Chemo are resting. They will probably return for future stories.
At some point in the investigation, the DLO winds up with a girlfriend. In Bad Monkey, it is a Miami coroner. There is a sex scene on a metal autopsy table. The gf gets involved in the investigation, and nearly gets fed to the sharks. GF is saved when Bad Monkey puts the bite on crime. This is not a story for hate the sin, love the sinner.
Should you buy this book? Probably not. PG found it at the library. It was copy 8/13 for the Dekalb county libraries. You can probably find a copy without paying for it, which someone makes it more fun. It is worth your time, unless you just want to read something that will change your life. The only thing this book will change is the diaper worn by Bad Monkey. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Blackface Drag At Club Sheba
Mary Cheney became famous in a traditional way. Her father is Dick Cheney, former VPOTUS, hunting guide, and terrorist. Apparently Ms. Cheney felt the need for attention recently. She posted the following matter on facebook.
“Why is it socially acceptable — as a form of entertainment — for men to put on dresses, make up and high heels and act out every offensive stereotype of women (bitchy, catty, dumb, slutty, etc.) — but it is not socially acceptable — as a form of entertainment — for a white person to put on blackface and act out offensive stereotypes of African Americans?”
When it comes to getting people to look at you, Mary Cheney is not in the same hemisphere as RuPaul. By remarkable coincidence, there is going to be a new season of a cable tv show, about drag queens, hosted by RuPaul. The comments by Ms. Cheney were seen by RuPaul as an opportunity to promote product. The video is embedded above.
We are not going to discuss the moral calculus of blackface vs drag in this post. That’s what facebook, twitter, and comment sections are for. This blog does not have the intellectual gravitas as youtube comment sections. Mary Cheney and RuPaul are getting the attention they require.
The pictures today are from The Library of Congress. These ladies were participating in “Inter city beauties, Atlantic City Pageant, 1925.” There is something appropriate about beauty pageant pictures illustrating a discussion of the relative political correctness of blackface and drag queens. If you want a picture of Mary Cheney, go somewhere else.
The second part of this feature is a repost. The show was performed in 1979. I recently saw “Carroll.” He lives in Pennsylvania today, and has a beard nine inches long.
Reading about Shirley Q. Liquor brought back memories of a night long ago. A young man, who I will call Carroll, grew up across the street. In his spare time, he did drag shows. What I was expecting was Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin, using his own voice. One Sunday night, free admission and a buffet was all I needed to venture downtown and see the show.
The venue was an unpretentious bar called Club Sheba. The clientele was mostly lesbians, many of whom were African Americans.
Club Sheba was located on Forrest Avenue. The street was named for Nathan Bedford Forrest, a Confederate General who, some say, founded the Ku Klux Klan. Forrest Avenue late became Ralph McGill Boulevard, named after the former editor of the Atlanta Constitution.
As show time approached, I saw a table that had empty seats. I pulled back a seat, and a beefy lady informed me that she did not want a man to sit at that table.
The first act was what I expected. The reputation of Carol Burnett did not suffer, and Lily Tomlin was still in the closet. After the first act, I shot a game of pool with my friend, and went to the buffet for a second plate. A lady stopped me. ”You’re not supposed to get full”
I went back to the pool table. After a while there was a crowd standing around, and it was evident that a second act was going to start soon. I saw a black lady in the crowd making faces at me, took a second look, and realized that it was Carroll.
He did not use his voice this time, but lip synced to Grace Jones and Diana Ross. He wore blackface, and an afro wig. The crowd at the Club Sheba enjoyed this part of the show. Many of the Black Lesbians went to the stage and stuffed dollar bills in his faux bosom.
Blocked From Following
@TheTweetOfGod Alabama’s gay marriage ban has been ruled unconstitutional in what is hopefully the first step towards Alabama being ruled unconstitutional. ~ where did he say that? i just discovered the podcast, which is a great accomplice for multi tasking. I have a que of downloaded podcasts already, with new product discovered all the time. I hope FC can keep going, but if he doesn’t then something will take its place. the blogosphere is a self composting ecosystem. ~ Devolving ~ Neil – You shouldn’t have sex with your friends Bob – Do you prefer your enemies? ~ Is a person perpetrating this product a booger? ~ @Kool_Aid_Wino Propaganda encourages the imagination of children. ~ The Grateful Dead used to have a saying, “Steal Your Face” ~ The next time they are needed in Atlanta we might have another governor. ~ Somewhere in hell, Lyndon Johnson does not know who Ann Althouse is. ~ When Georgia wants to execute someone, nothing will stop this. The state is determined to kill a man with an i.q. below room temperature. There are plenty of other men on death row that can be killed to provide a deterrent to future killers, and satisfy the blood lust of the kill a crook for Jesus crowd. It is a mystery why Warren Hill is so important. ~ Is anyone aroused by scrolling to the end of 174 comments whenever facebook tells you there is a new entry to this thread? ~ didn’t people used to say balls when they heard a lie, the way we say bullshit today? ~ Warren Hill died at 7:55 pm. Witnesses say the transition was peaceful. Apparently, the mystery drugs did the trick. The #blacklivesmatter crowd is silent. Apparently this black life does not count. ~ THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT AND NOT AN ACTUAL NEWS ARTICLE, BLOG, OR CONSUMER PROTECTION UPDATE. ~ Three of the five men on the Georgia parole board are black. This is important to some people. ~ @pourmecoffee “I saw the best bloggers of my generation destroyed by glibness, tweeting hysterical naked.” ~ I think he was talking about Andrew Sullivan, who needs to keep his clothes on. ~ Personally, I hate to have to think of any man as of a definite race, creed, or color; so few men are really worth knowing that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice stand in the way of free association with one who is. H.L. Mencken ~ The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief — call it what you will — than any book ever written; it has emptied more churches than all the counterattractions of cinema, motor bicycle and golf course. A.A. Milne ~ @therebelgod We need to learn how to think morally ourselves. We cannot be dependent on a book or a pastor to dictate to us what is right and wrong. ~ It is difficult to say. ~ @polotek Your police wear a wristband in support of a murderer and claim first amendment rights. You ask for your right to live and you’re “radical”.@polotek @steveroggenbuck BULLSHIT Show me one policeman wearing a wristband supporting a murderer photoshopped pictures don”t count. ~ @hawkinsdotbiz Facebook Where a person can be judged not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character assassination. ~ @marcmaron @serial if adnan killed the girl then it was the only one, so he is not a cereal killer ~ @marcmaron @serial didn’t you say in today’s wtf that you are going to give up twitter? maybe you are a serial tweeter ~ @AManShouIdBe @JesusIsAJerk Is your daughter sexually active? No, she just lays there and doesn’t do anything. ~ Contributions to the Black Conservatives Fund are not tax-deductibl as charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes. ~ You are blocked from following @KasimReed and viewing @KasimReed’s Tweets. Learn more ~ At the end of the video, the host says “that sure is the longest answer to that question that I got in this series”. He must not have talked to many Jesus worshipers. … a religion chock full of vocal chord self admiring motormouths. ~ a hi-q haiku – print blue black or sepia – go ammonia ~ Why is all this construction going on when we don’t have a dependable source of water? ~ I found a copy of that book at a yard sale last fall. ~ pictures from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
Good Bye Andrew Sullivan
As is often the case these days, the news came on twitter. @JoeMyGod Andrew Sullivan To Stop Blogging: Citing recent health issues, his marriage, and the stresses brought on by 15… Joe had a link to his blog, where there was a link to the Sullivan facility.
Back during the Clinton administration, Mr. Sullivan had been the editor of some high faluting magazine. There was talk about having a gay, English, catholic in this conspicuous position. Eventually, he left, and started what was once called a “vanity website.” The first time I heard the word blog was in reference to Mr.Sullivan. It was short for web log.
At some point there was a piece, Why I blog. “Rudeness, in any case, isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a blogger. Being ignored is. Perhaps the nastiest thing one can do to a fellow blogger is to rip him apart and fail to provide a link.” The Dish never linked to Chamblee54.
There were links to some good stories at The Dish. There was a bit of foolishness. An obsession with the parentage of Trig Palin was given much play. It is ironic that Mrs.Palin is seen as an embarrassment to the conservative “movement,” at a time when Mr. Sullivan retiring. The similarity of the conservative movemeny to a bowel movement is more obvious than ever.
Not everyone is upset by the departure of Mr.Sullivan.
@gaywonk I’m going to honor Andrew Sullivan’s retirement by talking down to everyone I meet and trying my best to blend in with straight people.
@thejoshuablog Is it me, or was #AndrewSullivan’s deathbed confession eerily similar in tone to Norma Desmond’s speech at the end of #SunsetBoulevard?
@DostoevskyShade It is sad that the only time ever that #AndrewSullivan has trended on twitter is when he announces an end to his writings that no one reads.
Tonight’s Episode of Amazing America with Sarah Palin: Mom Hangs Out with Ted Nugent!
There are reports about the death of blogging. These are rather exaggerated. The days when any Joe Blow could set up shop in mom’s basement, and instantly get a million followers, are probably over. Twitter, and Youtube, are where a lot of the action is. 600 words has been reduced to 140 characters, or talking into your cell phone camera for mass consumption.
Blogging is like writing poetry… the supply greatly exceeds the demand. There are people who write blogs because they enjoy it. Chamblee54 is one. It is a fun game, even if Andrew Sullivan ignored Chamblee54. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. These details are from picture #06665, “Bathing Beauty Pageant, 1925, Huntington Beach CA”
Coexist
The custom of expressing your innermost thoughts on the back of your vehicle has taken a curious turn. One popular emblem says coexist. The seven letters are equipped with symbols, both religious and secular. One hopes that no one receiving this message has forgotten to stop, and hit the car with the coexist symbol on the bumper.
When PG was young, there was a miniature golf course on Cheshire Bridge Road called Putt Putt. The first bumper sticker he saw said “I play Putt Putt.” Is coexist an improvement?
When this post was first conceived, the i in coexist was perceived to be unadorned. It was as if the religion of i was receiving due recognition. Upon closer examination, it seems as though the tittle has a five pointed star. This means that the i is a sorcerers wand. The i apparently stands for paganism.
The c, x, and t of coexist are pretty obvious. They are symbols for the three Abrahamic religions. O is a peace sign, and e has the male and female symbols. The religions they represent are not apparent. The s is a yin yang, which is somehow related to Taoism.
Buddhism, Atheism, Communism, and Hinduism are not represented. They spell out Bach. The composer Johann Sebastian Bach produced glorious music for the Lutheran church. Perhaps the e in coexist represents the left out denominations. If this E is combined with BACH, you can spell out BEACH. This is a repost. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
The GD Ad
As you may have heard, this sunday is the stupid bowl. It is the end of the NFL season, the excuse for lavish parties, and a showcase for advertising. Every year, companies spend billions of dollars producing ads that will stand out … which is not always the same things as outstanding.
A cheesy website company called godaddy is taking a shortcut. They produced an ad. Adorable puppy is tossed out of a pickup truck. After surviving an Indiana-Jones-like journey, adorable puppy finds a way back to the farm. Danica Patrick sees adorable puppy, and says adorable puppy has just been sold. The sale was made on a godaddy produced website. In the final shot, adorable puppy is seen in an open shipping box, leaving in a delivery van.
Allegedly, there has been a facebook/twitter/talkshow outrage. This facebook exchange is what PG saw. This exchange is what alerted PG to the existence of this ad.
Anyone who works in dog rescue is totally appalled by this ad on many counts. And all the nut jobs out there just call us liberal PETA psychos for hating this ad. WTH? … Not just the puppy mills, but the selling of dogs on these sites. Some end up as bait dogs or in the hands of animal abusers. Remember Puppy Doe? Also showing the puppy getting thrown out of the truck even by accident gives teens the idea to throw them out of moving vehicles for sports even more than they already do. Especially when the ad shows that the puppy survived. Most end up mamed and killed. They die a slow death where they land. Not a good ad at all. I’ve tried to educate people, but a lot just think I’m a PETA loving crazy liberal. … ___ you are a responsible, well-informed, and compassionate person. Anyone who would label you otherwise is ignorant.
PG saw this exchange, and wondered if he was missing something. “all the nut jobs out there just call us liberal PETA psychos for hating this ad.” Where are these people? More Americans are concerned with how much air is pumped in Tom Brady’s balls.
Which got PG to thinking. Just how much outrage was there about this ad? Who made those angry tweets? Does anyone, outside of the “PETA loving crazy liberal” cabal, really pay attention?
Maybe, just maybe, this is manufactured outrage. By making a show of pulling the ad, godaddy has gotten lots of people to look at it. Instead of competing with the big money sponsors on sunday, godaddy gets lots of attention on wednesday. It is standing alone, which is also different from outstanding. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. These men were Confederate soldiers, during the War Between the States. They did not pull their advertising because of a few angry tweets.
Pageant Of Pulchritude
The fun started when PG clicked on the link to Can You Answer 11 Basic Intelligence Questions? Like many internet trolls, PG fancies himself a fart smeller smart feller. The quiznation clickathon (spell check suggestion:quantization catholic) sort of confirms this.
As the title suggests, there were 11 questions. The first one is typical … 1- How many 10 cent stamps are there in a dozen? 120, 12, 10, 20. 9 were multiple choice, and 2 were true/false.
Number 6 was true/false, and it caught PG. Do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? PG thought of mobile and immobile, and said that the f words have opposite meanings. In one of those delightful english language quirks, those two words mean the same thing. Question 7 … What does JFK short for? … makes you wonder if this quiz was written by an engish speaking human.
The questions were sponsored by a facility selling 75% Off Drug Tests. “75% Off Drug Tests 5 panel: $1.17 & 10 panel $2.50 w/ Free Cups, FDA 510K, Free Shipping.” In a big brother moment, Amazon drops by the advertise Joni Mitchell product.
Two words that apparently mean the same thing were responsible for missing a question on Can You Use 11 Commonly Misused Words Correctly? “Our family _______ from Ireland twenty years ago. emigrated, immigrated.” “Emigration is the act of leaving one’s native country with the intent to settle permanently or temporarily elsewhere. Conversely, immigration describes the movement of persons into one country from another.”
You may get the impression that somebody does not have much to talk about. You may be correct. The last item is an edited selection from the comments at Peach Pundit. Here is the soundtrack.
January 26, 2015 at 9:51 am More American heroes! Gotta like it! Can’t wait for the disgraceful, bed-wetting libs to bust their chops like they did Chris Kyle’s. By the way, remember when the bed-wetters criticized Chick Filet’s founder for his beliefs? The next couple of days made Chick Filet’s earning for that week the biggest in the company’s history. Their insults are doing the same for Clint’s movie, too! Way to go, weenies! LMAO
January 26, 2015 at 11:27 am Doesn’t hurt me. My point is that your insults aren’t any more palatable than anyone else’s, and that you’d be better served saving your anger to defend something more important than a public entertainment. Of course you’re free to spend your time as you wish and I don’t have to read your comments so we’ll both get by.
The pictures today are from The Library of Congress. These details are from picture #06666, documenting “First Internation[al] Pageant of Pulchritude & Seventh Annual Bathing Girl Review at Galveston, Texas.” It was taken in 1926.
Rejecting Rejection Therapy
Invisibilia is a new podcast from NPR. The first episode deals with fear. The first half is about a scientific explanation about snake slithering. The second half is a sales promotion for a company called Rejection Therapy. Does NPR stand for Novice Public Relations?
Jason Comely was an IT guy, living with four cats in Ontario. He had lost a girlfriend, and was not doing too well. He decided that he was afraid of rejection.
The way to overcome this fear was to make a game of it. Every day, he would try to get rejected. Mr. Comely was asking people for strange things, in hope of being rejected. Somehow, this was supposed to build up his mojo, and make him more confident.
Soon, there was a little cottage industry. There was a website, and a twitter account. Rejection cards are available for purchase. “Rejection Therapy comes in three flavours: Classic (physical card deck is available at The Game Crafter), Entrepreneur and Blue Pill Edition. These cards are not essential to the game but handy for motivation and direction.”
PG heard this, and started to get angry. The word selfish comes to mind. Rejection therapy is all about building the confidence of the game player. Did someone say game player?
Many people do not like to say no. It is a source of stress. Many people are, with justification, afraid of what will happen when they “reject” this request. Most people have had bad experiences with saying no to people. When you hear this request, you don’t know that it is a game, designed to build the confidence of the game player. You might be dealing with a crazy person, angry that they are not getting their way. Don’t worry about it, you don’t matter.
Jason Comely “Don’t even bother trying to be cool. Just get out there and get rejected. And sometimes it’s going to get dirty, but that’s OK because you’re going to feel great after. You’re going to feel like, wow, I disobeyed my fear. You know, I disobeyed fear.”
What about the other person? This person is going to get dirty also. But, it’s all OK because you are going to feel great because you disobeyed your fear. It is all about you. The person who is dealing with your meant-to-be-rejected request is just a pawn in your game.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Obituary Mambo
Andrew Sullivan had an uplifting feature, the other day, about obituaries. As is his custom, he found an article at another site, threw out a juicy quote, and moved on. It is up to Chamblee54 to provide more detail, and put up pictures for the text averse. These pictures today are from the Pleasant Hill Baptist Church cemetery. This is a repost.
It is a common practice to look at the obituaries (aka “Irish sports page”) first thing in the morning. If the reader is not included, then the day can proceed as normal. This custom does not take into account the possibility that you have died, and your family it too cheap to purchase a notice.
The article in question is THE DEAD BEAT CLUB Ten things you don’t know about the obit biz. It starts off by saying that the family members are usually happy to help the obit scribe. They have stories about the recently deceased, like ” Eddie “Bozo” Miller boasted of regularly drinking a dozen martinis before lunch, yet he lived to age eighty-nine.”
Newspapers take different approaches to obituaries. Some assign rookies, or use the death beat as punishment for troublemakers. Others give the job to their best writer. The paid notices are usually written by family members, with the help of the undertaker.
Of course, there is the occasional oddball. Alana Baranick, obituary writer for Cleveland’s The Plain Dealer and lead author of Life on the Death Beat: A Handbook for Obituary Writers , likes to visit every municipality in the United States named Cleveland.
One oft repeated saying is that obituaries are about life, not death. As the source puts it: “The British “quality” newspapers — The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, and The Independent, substantiate the old chestnut about obituaries being about life, not death. These papers rarely mention the cause of death, focusing instead on presenting a vivid account of a lived life. American papers have an unhealthy fixation on death. It’s common for “complications of chronic pulmonary disease” or “bile duct cancer” to show up in the story’s lede, never to resurface.”
Only one obituary has won a Pulitzer prize. ” Leonard Warren, a Metropolitan Opera baritone, dropped dead mid-performance in 1960. Sanche de Gramont (who changed his name to Ted Morgan), a young rewrite man at the New York Herald Tribune, banged out the obit in under an hour and won a 1961 Pulitzer in the Local Reporting, Edition Time, category.”
There is an The International Association of Obituarists. The headquarters is in Dallas TX, presumably near a grassy knoll. They have an annual convention, which is said to be a lively affair. The 2005 conference was in Bath, England. The 2007 conference was in Alfred NY. There is also the Society of Professional Obituary Writers. (Many of the links, from the original edition of this post, are no longer working. No information is available about the IAO convention for 2014.)
IAO was founded by Carolyn Gilbert, the lady who puts the bitch in obituary. Ms. Gilbert collaborates on a page, Remembering The Passed. RTP has a series of podcasts. They require an apple app to listen, which is too much work for PG.
Death is a part of life. Every language has a word for it, and English has a number of slang expressions. An incomplete list would include : ““passed on”, “are no more”, “have ceased to be”, “expired and gone to meet their Maker”, “are bereft of life”, “have ceased to be”, “rest in peace”, “push up daisies”, “whose metabolic processes are now history”, “are off the twig”, “have kicked the bucket”, “shuffled off their mortal coil”, “run down the curtain” or “joined the Choir Invisible”
Columbia Journalism Review (Motto: Strong Press, Strong Democracy) has a feature about Obit. “Krishna Andavolu is the managing editor of Obit an online magazine intended for those interested in obituaries, epitaphs, elegies, postludes, retrospectives, grave rubbings, widow’s weeds, and other such memorabilia of expiration. Part eulogistic clearinghouse, part cultural review, Obit purports to examine life through the prism of death. Founded in 2007 by a wealthy New Jersey architect who sensed an exploitable niche after seeing a middle-aged woman distraught over the death of Captain Kangaroo, the site is a locus for enlightened morbidity.”
OM is worth a visit. The top story features a picture of Betty Ford, who survived Breast Cancer, Alcoholism, and The White House, to die at 93. The site has an ad from Newlymaid.com, with the creative suggestion to Trade In Your Old Bridesmaid Dress & Get a New Little Black Dress.
OM has a popular feature called Died on the same day. Grim reaper recruits on January 20 include Pope Fabian (250), Johnny Weissmuller (1984), Audrey Hepburn (1993), Etta James (2012).
No google search is complete without someone trying to make money. Obituaries Professionally Written says ” … we believe in honoring a life with respect, dignity and integrity. When needed, euphemism is used liberally. “
OPW content provider Larken Bradley says “”Obituary writing is an honor, a privilege, and great fun … I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.”… After she dies she expects her obit headline will read, “Obituary Writer, Six Feet Under.”
PG was going to repost an old favorite, Obituary Mambo. When you recycle something this often, it is a good idea to check the links. For OM, many do not work.
The story begins with a story at the digital home of Andrew Sullivan. This fine facility is now in paywall purgatory. When you click on the old link, you see a cartoon of a French borderguard, and the message “THIS CONNECTION IS UNTRUSTED You have asked Firefox to connect securely to andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com, but we can’t confirm that your connection is secure. …” The browser has this reaction to several of the links in the original story.
Monetization of obituaries seems to have run aground. Links to Obit Magazine give you a page of fine print HTML. The International Association of Obituarists is not on the internet. The NPR interview with Carolyn Gilbert, founder of the IAO, is still up. Presumably, she is still putting the bitch back in obituary. Maybe the 2005 convention in Bath, England was too much.
Another link gave this result: “Welcome to http://www.obituarywriters.com ! Our new web site, powered by EarthLink Web Hosting, is currently under construction.” In its place is The Society of Professional Obituary Writers, “Proudly powered by Weebly.”
SPOW hosted a contest in 2011 and 2012. “Each year, The Society of Professional Obituary Writers holds a competition to honor excellence in obituary writing. Obituaries are submitted by reporters and editors from all over the world, and blind-judged by a panel of our members. Winners receive trophies, known as the Grimmies, and are feted at the annual conference.” Grimmies were given for Best Obit, and Best Body of Work.
UPDATE PG finished the post, and put the link on facebook. The following item was in the news feed. Evidently facebook does not know that Johnny Brian McCullouch died a few weeks ago. Or maybe it does. You can’t make this up.
Happy Healthy People Who Don’t Give
“1. Do whatever the fuck you want.” This is habit number one of Twelve Habits of Happy, Healthy People Who Don’t Give a Shit About Your Inner Peace. On this bright sunny sunday, PG wants to write snarky commentary on motivational nonsense. The pictures are from The Library of Congress.
“Whatever the fuck” is similar to give a fuck. Neither phrase makes much sense. WTF is probably derived from “what the hell,” with a stronger profanity.
“The earliest use in print recorded by editors of the Oxford English Dictionary comes from the 1920s. From a story handed down in my family (U.S.), I know the phrase was used in the late 19th century, if not earlier. It might have come from “what IN hell…,” similar to “what on earth….” That’s speculation, though. “What the hell?” has the same meaning as “What?” but adds anger and emphasis.” In other words, it is just something people like to say. It was conceived in religion, then given greater “anger and emphasis” with the word for intercourse. The english language is a strange business.
DWTFYW is number one on the list, as well as number two, four, ten, and twelve. In number twelve, useless periods are added. All six words are capitalized. The catchphrase becomes “12. Do. Whatever. The Fuck. You Want.” The bloggette wants you to know that she really, really means this.
The post makes fun of motivational posts. The first example is 25 Habits Of People Who Are Happy, Healthy & Successful. The photo shows a beautiful women, on top of a glorious mountain, with the sun setting next to her butt. Making fun of this type of “matter” does not take much imagination.
“3. Seriously, do you want that burger? Then just fucking eat a burger. …” caught PG’s eye. If gaining weight was the only problem here, then you should finish fucking, then eat the burger. If you are likely to get gout, then you may want to pass on the burger. Red meat is what makes your foot swell up so that every step hurts. If what you want is to walk without pain, then eat something else.
What list does not looking for contradictions belong on? Or giggling at the inconsistencies in these lists. MindBodyGreen (Our mission is to revitalize the way people eat, move, and live!) says “20. They don’t complain.” A few pixels east is a link to another post. Drinking Too Much? It Might Be Your Job’s Fault. This page is sponsored by AstrologyAnswers. “WARNING: You’ve NEVER Had An Astrology Reading Like This Before! “
Chamblee54 
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