Dick Nixon TV Critic
The text below is a conversation between Mr. Nixon, John D. Ehrlichman, and H. R. Haldeman. The tape was made May 13, 1971. This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
NIXON: … CBS … glorifying homosexuality.
EHRLICHMAN: A panel show?
H. R. HALDEMAN: No, it’s a regular show. It’s on every week. It’s usually just done in the guy’s home. It’s usually just that guy, who’s a hard hat.
NIXON: That’s right; he’s a hard hat.
EHRLICHMAN: He always looks like a slob.
NIXON: Looks like Jackie Gleason.
HALDEMAN: He has this hippie son-in-law, and usually the general trend is to downgrade him and upgrade the son-in-law–make the square hard hat out to be bad. But a few weeks ago, they had one in which the guy, the son-in-law, wrote a letter to you, President Nixon, to raise hell about something. And the guy said, “You will not write that letter from my home!” Then said, “I’m going to write President Nixon,” took off all those sloppy clothes, shaved, and went to his desk and got ready to write his letter to President Nixon. And apparently it was a good episode.
EHRLICHMAN: What’s it called?
NIXON: “Archie’s Guys.” Archie is sitting here with his hippie son-in-law, married to the screwball daughter. The son-in-law apparently goes both ways. This guy. He’s obviously queer–wears an ascot–but not offensively so. Very clever. Uses nice language. Shows pictures of his parents. And so Arch goes down to the bar. Sees his best friend, who used to play professional football. Virile, strong, this and that. Then the fairy comes into the bar. I don’t mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don’t think you glorify it on public television, homosexuality, even more than you glorify whores. We all know we have weaknesses. But, goddammit, what do you think that does to kids? You know what happened to the Greeks! Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo. We all know that. So was Socrates.
EHRLICHMAN: But he never had the influence television had.
NIXON: You know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags. Neither in a public way. You know what happened to the popes? They were layin’ the nuns; that’s been goin’ on for years, centuries. But the Catholic Church went to hell three or four centuries ago. It was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. That’s what’s happened to Britain. It happened earlier to France. Let’s look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn, they root ’em out. They don’t let ’em around at all. I don’t know what they do with them. Look at this country. You think the Russians allow dope? Homosexuality, dope, immorality, are the enemies of strong societies. That’s why the Communists and left-wingers are clinging to one another. They’re trying to destroy us. I know Moynihan will disagree with this, and Mitchell will. But, goddamn, we have to stand up to this.
EHRLICHMAN: It’s fatal liberality.
NIXON: Huh?
EHRLICHMAN: It’s fatal liberality. And with its use on television, it has such leverage.
NIXON: You know what’s happened [in northern California]?
EHRLICHMAN: San Francisco has just gone clear over.
NIXON: But it’s not just the ratty part of town. The upper class in San Francisco is that way. The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time–it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can’t shake hands with anybody from San Francisco. … Decorators. They got to do something. But we don’t have to glorify it. You know one of the reasons fashions have made women look so terrible is because the designers hate women. Designers taking it out on the women. Now they’re trying to get some more sexy things coming on again.
EHRLICHMAN: Hot pants.
NIXON: Jesus Christ.
Victory For Sister A. Roma
It was a magic moment. Wake up, look at the digital fishwrapper, and see Facebook apologizes to drag queens for name policy. Below is the AP text you find in a thousand other ad rags.
By BARBARA ORTUTAY The Associated Press NEW YORK — Facebook is apologizing to drag queens and the transgender community for deleting accounts that used drag names like Lil Miss Hot Mess rather than legal names such as Bob Smith.
The Atlanta division of monopolymedia did disappoint in one crucial area: consumer comments. This is the one place one can count on the truth, mixed in with enough lies to make Pinocchio grow a battleship. Leave it to the british. The Guardian comes through, with Victory for drag queens as Facebook apologises for ‘real-name’ policy.
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ArkEton I was looking for the Guardian. Did I land on the Onion by mistake?.
Anopheles I wanted to use my authentic name on my passport, but they weren’t happy about Bomby McPlanebomby. TerminalDecline that was probably more because you’re scottish.
stevied201 As a San Franciscan, I am so glad that David Campos has time to deal with issues like this since all the major problems of the City like human excrement on the pavement, erratic public transport, insanely high housing costs and all violent crime have been solved. The pseudo progressives in the San Francisco Board of Supervisors love to make empty gestures that have nothing to do with making the City liveable. We’re a “Sanctuary City” for undocumented aliens, we don’t allow plastic bags, and we soon will have a beverage tax on sugary drinks. But nothing can be done about homelessness and the woeful state of public tranport. Truly an overpriced corrupt techie cowtown.
okparanoid So, are they also actively policing people who go by names Hugh G. Cox, Jack Meeoff, Mike Hunt, Peter Wang, or Phillip McCoffecup? mgpdleft You forgot Hugh Janus, Ben Dover and Phil McCavity rollmop Simon Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzsimon?
jimmycracorn For all the problems in America I love this place. Nowhere else in the world would you get a corporate lawyer apologising to Lil Miss Hot Mess for his company being a bunch of jerks.
tonkatsu Bit curious as to why this is being sold as an LGBT issue. Would it be a racial issue if they banned hip hop artists from using their stage names? Would it be sexism if they banned knitting? Bit of a storm in a teacup really. Chloë James I think it says a lot about you and your mindset that the first example of sexism you thought of was banning knitting. Get a grip.
MigsterMMA Babies, babies, babies, wedding, babies, gurning fucktards in pub, babies, share to save this child’s life, babies, babies, bring back hanging, babies, babies, racist propaganda, babies, I love you grandad up in heaven, babies…Facebook isn’t for me.
Firesidechat Schwing Schwong, I see a dong, “Margery” needs a new tailor. She went to the shop, without getting the chop, and her attempt to ‘pass’ was a failure.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
How White Trash Are You
The FBF had a test, How White Trash Are You? It was 10 multiple choice questions. Most of them did not have a good answer. The result: “How White Trash Are You? You scored 36%, you are as white trash as Jesse Pinkman.” PG is not WT enough to know who Jesse Pinkman is.
OK Cupid had a similar test, The How White Trash Are You? Test It was a bunch of multiple choice questions. One was about the mayonnaise and wonder bread sandwich. The submit button was clicked after the last question. The server froze, and never gave an answer.
Mr. Google has a lot of white trash tests. It also has tests to see how ghetto you are. The top result, for both WT and G, is GoToQuiz, sponsored by Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.
The first GTQ was How Ghetto Are You? “Congratualtions! You are 0% ghetto It looks like you keep yourself out of the ghetto and are living ghetto free. Also, you may be white.”
Ok, just one more quiz and this stupid post is over. As you might have guessed, this is How White Trash Are You! You are 33% White Trash! So what your parents are a little country, that doesn’t make you all bad. Get a job that doesn’t make you look like a trainwreck at the end of every day, take a bath a bit more often and hey, you might pass for one of them yankee boys.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Nine Years
September 21, 2005, saw the first Chamblee54 post. Nine years later, the world has not changed. In the past 108 months, there have been two blogging services. Yes, people still use blogspot.
The WordPress phase began in 2008, and had been far superior. Here are a few stats … 201,357 views, 3,630 comments, 2941 posts, 38,977 pictures. The viral post has not happened.
This looks like a day without much to say. Chamblee54 is not going anywhere, unlike many blogs that roared in 2005. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. Thanks for stopping by.
Tubby Boots
PG found Classic Television Showbiz while reserarching a recent feature about the late Sherwood Schwartz. The site is a treasure, with youtubes of classic tv shows, and interviews with “entertainers”. Somewhere in the sidebar was a link to a story about Tubby Boots.
Charles “Tubby” Boots was born around 1926 in Baltimore MD. He was a nightclub comedian. Mr. Boots weighed 375 pounds, had bleach blond hair, and often performed without a shirt. He wore pasties on his boobs, and would twirl them simultaneously in opposite directions.
The parts in blue are borrowed from Classic television showbiz. Tubby’s parents were a vaudevillian dance team called Boots and Barton. At the age of seven this youngster was clocking in at an astounding two hundred pounds, a constant target of ridicule in his Baltimore schoolyard….During his childhood, Tubby managed to witness a performance by comedy’s greatest cult icon, Lord Buckley … Tubby Boots recalled shortly before his death, “[Lord Buckley] was like a father figure to me. I met Buckley when I was seven years old when I was working at the Hippodrome in Baltimore, Maryland, and I was in awe of him. I saw his act every time he would come back to play the theater … I would sit in the theater all day and watch the shows. I’d stay out of school for the whole week – my mother would pack me a lunch – she knew what I was doing because I wanted to learn about show business. Buckley would do his hat-switching act. Every other show he would get me to do it with him. I’d hang out with him backstage, we’d go out for lunch or dinner, he’d sneak me back into the theater and I’d watch the whole stage show again. I started working nightclubs when I was eleven. I weighed 250 pounds and passed myself off as twenty-one. I got arrested in a strip joint and the police said: ‘We’re not going to throw you in jail but you’re not going to work in this town again – you’re too notorious.’ So they actually put me on a train and said ‘Where you wanna ticket to?’ I said, ‘New York.’ I didn’t run away – I was forced to leave. So when I got to New York I called Buckley and, pretending to sob, said, ‘My mama died in a car crash…my father was with her…’ Unbeknownst to me, he called my mother and told her, ‘He’s with me.’ So he got me a job at The Three Deuces, passing me off as twenty-one.” The Three Deuces was one of Manhattan’s major jazz holes in the thirties and forties, regularly featuring Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker. Lord Buckley was connected to the jazz world for most of his career, performing in their clubs and utilizing a great deal of the Black hipster vernacular in his act.”
Mr. Boots got a job as the emcee for burlesque shows, frequently in traveling carnival shows. He was doing well, when Lord Buckley called him from Hollywood. Supposedly, there was a movie job waiting for Mr. Boots. When he got to California, he found out otherwise. “Tubby became affectionately known as Princess Lily. “He used to call me Princess Lily but Prince Charles of Booth was my title. Buckley used to say: ‘Lil! You had the misfortune to be born with the beautiful body of a woman in the ridiculous body of a man!””
In 1959, Mr. Boots was in a bizarre accident. He was taking a bath, and the controls for the hot and cold water were in another room. Lord Buckley was handling these controls, and poured scalding hot water into the tub. Mr. Boots was stuck in the tub, and was badly burned. He spent a week in the hospital, and was not friends with Lord Buckley later.
After he recovered, Mr. Boots moved to Miami Beach. He performed in motel lounges for many years, and developed a following. Comedy albums were becoming popular, and Mr. Boots contributed “Thin my be in but fats where its at”. The albums were sold at his shows. The legend is that no copies exist that were not autographed.
The various search engines are sketchy about Tubby Boots. A comment or two refers to his death, but there is no date available. The Lady Bunny tells about going to see Mr. Boots in a supper club on Long Island in the eighties. Reportedly Mr. Boots did well during the comedy club explosion of the eighties.
PG saw a show by Tubby Boots. It was December 1974, at a dingy Atlanta bar called The Cove. PG was hanging out with someone we will call McClain, who liked the drag shows at The Cove. The bar was a former electronics warehouse, with a sign for Ballantines Beer by the front entrance. Ballantines had not been sold in Georgia for a long time, but the sign stayed. This was on Monroe Drive, behind Piedmont Park. Tubby Boots was a friend of somebody, and did a show at The Cove one night.
If you can stand to look at the embedded video, you get an idea about his show. Forty years later, PG can remember a few of the jokes. There was a one liner about an *African American* who took a shit, and thought he was melting. There was a routine based on the role Katherine Hepburn played in “Suddenly Last Summer”. My boy is not queeyer, he’s carnivorous. After a while, the shirt came off, and he twirled pasties from his boobs in different directions.
After the show, PG talked to a black friend, who did not want to meet the comedian. Meanwhile, Tubby Boots and McClain were making out. Before long, McClain came over to PG, and said he wanted to go somewhere else. McClain died in July, 1992. Tubby Boots died in August, 1993. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
I
During a recent facebook deterioration, on social issues, someone posted a 410 word statement. PG noted the promiscuous use of first person singular. A study ensued.
1 – I, or verb contractions using I, occurs 27 times in this statement.
2 – I was used in the first seven sentences. The eighth sentence did not have I, but did contain me.
3 – The tenth sentence does not have I, but does contain my.
4 – The last sentence has I five times. The first two have I three times. Six sentences use I twice.
5 – There are 410 words in this statement. There are 15 sentences. Six percent of these words are I.
6 – I is the shortest word in the English language. It is also possibly the least important.
Many people use the word I too often. The use of this word implies that the listener is interested in what the speaker thinks or does. When someone says I, the lips are usually moving. I is the central letter in both lie and believe. (As another FBF noted, I statements can be useful.)
This does not take away the controversy over what word, in the language, is the shortest. A British facility, the Daily Mail, ran a story,The shortest word in English? Depends on how you measure it
Q. We all know that the longest word in the English language is Floccinaucinihili-pilification, (Spell check suggestion:Oversimplification) meaning inconsiderable or trifling. But what is the shortest word in the English language?
A. This is a controversy that has divided the English-speaking community for more than a century. One faction, headed by Dr Robert Beauchamp from the Oxford English Dictionary, believes that the shortest word in the English language is ‘a’, while another faction, headed by Professor Melanie Kurtz from Chicago University, contends that it is ‘I’.
In his most recent book on the subject, Further Arguments In Favour Of A (OUP, £19.99), Dr Beauchamp claims that, though ‘I’ is arguably the thinnest word in the English language, ‘a’ is the shortest, in the sense that it is not as high.
Professor Kurtz, on the other hand, has argued in a number of pamphlets that, if one unravels the various loops and curls that form a single ‘a’, and stretch it into a single horizontal or perpendicular line, then the letter in question is undoubtedly longer than ‘I’.
Meanwhile, dissident scholars continue to argue the case for ‘o’ and for small ‘i’, though in broader academic circles the first is generally dismissed as not really a word and the second is felt to be questionable: they maintain that the gap between the little dot and the main body of the word/letter is a constituent part of the whole and cannot be discounted when it comes to the full measurement.
One of the comments is highly repeatable. “is it true…..the shortest sentence is ..I am. and the longest sentence…I do.?” – Tommy Atkins Blighty, 02/10/2009 18:45
In the digital age, capital letters are used less and less. If the lower case i is used as a first person singular, then it is both the shortest and the skinniest. The dot on the lower case i is known as the tittle. It is not known what the tittle thinks of the jot, or whether they believe each other.
For those not suffering platitude fatigue, here are the 21 Most Important Words in the English Language. The most important word: We ~ The two most important words: Thank You ~ The three most important words: All is forgiven ~ The four most important words: What is your opinion ~ The Five most important words: You did a good job ~ The six most important words: I want to understand you better ~ The least important word: I.”
A site called vocabula has a feature on the worst words in english. There are two phrases using I.
I mean Meaningless formula (a verbal tic, if you will) used habitually by many to begin nearly every sentence, especially those that are not intended to clarify anything preceding them. I need you to … A completely unacceptable replacement for “please.”
Since we cannot say, for certain, that I is the shortest word in the language, the uncertainty about the longest word should not be surprising. The longest word in German would be a short story by itself. According to Los Angeles Trade-Technical College “The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters ispneumonoultra-microscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.” (Spell check suggestion:ultramontane-microscopicsilicovolcanoconioses)
Part two of this feature is about a popular contender for the longest word. It is known here as The S Word. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This repost is written like H.P. Lovecraft.
There is a feature today on NPR discussing ” “What’s The Longest Word In The English Language?”. The old crowd pleaser antidisestablishmentarianism was dismissed as “Just a bundle of suffixes and prefixes piled up into a little attention-grabbing hummock.” It also has 28 letters, which won’t even get it into the playoffs.
When it comes to big words, there is nothing like science. In 1964, a book called “Chemical Abstracts” published a 1,185 letter word, referring to a protein found in the tobacco mosaic virus. It starts with glu and ends with sine. This word is 8.44 tweets long.
Words like glu…sine are not used often, which brings us to the obvious winner, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It is the theme song for a dance routine in a movie starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke , and a few dozen animated characters.
According to the urban dictionary, Miss Andrews was not fond of Rob Petrie. “It’s reported that Ms. Andrews replied, “Fuck you! I hate you!! You’re a ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidouchebag’!!!! And get away from my door!! Why don’t you go eat “A Spoonful of Feces “!!!” (This problem might have been caused by SupercalifragilisticexpiHalitosis )
At 34 letters, the s word is the longest english word that most of us have heard of. While it probably was made up by over-imaginative songwriters, it is defined by a reputed dictionary. It translates as superkalifragilistikexpialigetisch (German), supercalifragilistichespiralidoso(Italian) and supercalifragilisticoespialidoso (Spanish). The French are too cool to use it.
A website called Straightdope has a highly entertaining feature called Is “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” a real word referring to Irish hookers? . “Our research first took us to a lawsuit that was filed after the movie came out by Life Music, Inc., against Wonderland Music, the publisher of the Mary Poppins song. It was a copyright infringement suit brought by Barney Young and Gloria Parker, who had written a song in 1949 entitled “Supercalafajaistickespeealadojus” and shown it to Disney in 1951. They asked for twelve million dollars in damages. The suit was decided in the Shermans’ favor because, among other reasons, affidavits were produced from two New Yorkers, Stanley Eichenbaum and Clara Colclaster, who claimed that “variants of the word were known to and used by them many years prior to 1949.”
The decision makes for fairly humorous reading. Apparently the judge got tired of writing out the whole word, so every time it had to be mentioned it was replaced by the phrase “the word” as if it were some loathsome artifact that had to be held at arm’s length. “
There is another story that has the s word appearing in a humor magazine at Syracuse University. An archivist named Mary O’Brien says that rumor surfaces every ten years or so, and is not true. Another old husbands tale has children in summer camps taught a song super-cadja-flawjalistic-espealedojus. This cannot be confirmed or denied.
As for the tale about Irish entrepreneurs , there is a story in Maxim magazine. It says “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, the word supposedly coined by Mary Poppins to make kids sound “precocious,” was actually invented by turn-of-the-century Scottish coal miners. It was used to request “the works” from prostitutes by men too shy to recite specific acts.” The link supplied by StraightDope does not work.
Choke
Maybe the best comment about Choke was a one star amazon review. “0 of 1 people found the following review helpful DONT REMEMBER BUYING THIS By nicon September 18, 2013 Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase I DONT REMEMBER BUYING THIS SO I DONT WANT TO RATED IT UNFAIRLY PLEASE REMOVE FROM MY OPINION PAGE OF MY ACCOUNT”
PG was on planet earth 58 years before trying to pronounce Chuck Palahniuk. (Paula-nick) Even seeing a video of “Fight Club” did not steal CP virginity. It was not until September 17, 2012. There was a book report, about a book called Rattled. The last sentence was a link to an internet badge, I write like Chuck Palahniuk
A little while later, PG was on a podcast kick. He would listen to people selling product, with freely offered opinions. A public radio show from California called Bookworm appeared, and yes, Chuck Palahniuk had a new book to sell. CP said, among other things, that he wrote books for people who don’t like to read books.
On some youtube opinion party, CP told a story. He was working as a truck mechanic, and writing in his spare time. There was a writers workshop in town. CP read a story about an ill fated romance with an inflatable plastic inamorata. A lady told CP that he was no longer welcome in their group. However, a local man, Tom Spanbauer might be willing to help. This was another writing group, not a counselor. Has CP used the services of the psych industry?
Twenty one years ago, Tom Spanbauer appeared at a gathering in North Carolina. PG tried to find a copy of The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon, and wound up borrowing a friends copy. At the end of the weekend, friend got Mr. Spanbauer to autograph his book. PG saw his bookmark in the book, and got the bookmark autographed.
And it came to pass that many CP videos were played. Included in this youtubefest is guts, which just might be the grossest thing PG has ever heard. When a copy of Choke appeared at the Chamblee library, PG was ready. Or so he thought.
This is a weird book. A line is repeated throughout, what would Jesus NOT do? One possible answer is producing genetic material from the foreskin of the baby Jesus, and then inserting this dna product into the lady parts of Ida Mancini. This is probably the output of a fevered, sick, horny imagination, which Choke has in abundance.
Most book reports make an effort to tell you the plot. Victor Mancini is a sick puppy. His “mother,” Ida Mancini, is in a nursing home with Alzheimers. This might be the most mental health Miss Mancini has ever enjoyed.
Victor works at a historic fantasy park. Every one of the players is a drug addict, which might be in character for 1734. Victor makes spare change by pretending to choke in restaurants, and be rescued by strangers. These people become his friends, and send him money.
The fun never stops. There is a 12 step program for sex fiends, which provides Victor with female friends. Even though Victor is 90% creep, he many female companions. A lady at his mother’s nuthouse wants to have Victor impregnate her. The plan is to abort the baby, inject the fetus into Ida Mancini, and save the life of the old biddie. The outcome of this scheme is a spoiler.
For all the high spirited fun and games, Choke can be a depressing piece of work. The scenes in the hospital, with the ladies gone bye bye, are not pleasant. Alzheimer is a tough business to deal with. The writing here is dangerous. While Tom Spanbauer likes to promote the idea of dangerous writing, some readers have enough problems already. This is partially covered by the first chapter of Choke, which is a warning that the story you are about to read might cause brain damage.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. It was written like James Joyce.
Another Matter
I will go by the store and get something. If you need anything at the last minute, send me a message . ~ In another matter, I have heard from many about their displeasure regarding the commenting function being disabled on these stories concerning the Hawks. This is the newspaper standard for all stories, columns and blogs related to trials, crimes and racially charged stories. It is too difficult to monitor all the commenting. As you know, there are often insensitive remarks in posts that are not considered controversial. Thank you for your understanding. ~ It was from a Vietnamese restaurant. Their most popular dish is Pho Toshop. ~ A conservative estimate. ~ 22 words collects a blend of everything from the serious and creative to the silly and absurd. As your source for the crazy, curious, and comical side of the web, 22 words can be counted on to share funny and fascinating viral content as well as more obscure (but equally interesting) pictures, videos, and more. ~ “Central American… women crossing Mexico en route to the United States” not quite the same thing as crossing our border ~ Which one is Ira Hayes? ~ #michaelbrown was a #humanshield ~ You must be new here. ~ I am just now finding out about this. I have had a similar experience about racial attitudes. ~ RBF also stands for R. Buckminister Fuller. ~ ” How DARE someone tell this beautiful, kind, loving, grace-filled, faithful, decent, suffering woman that she is going to hell?” Miss Gilbert has known this human being for less than five minutes. How does Miss Gilbert know that she is kind, loving, etc.? ~ Ditto Hobby Lobby. Knitting needles (no relation to Sharon) are 50% off. ~ The one star comments at amazon are good. ~ Fckh8 is bad at damage control. ~ Isn’t that where Baton Bob was arrested? ~ People have given me second chances before. ~ People who don’t like the t-word have probably never rhymed it with granny. ~ @EliLake The children in #gaza were unarmed. There are a thousand #michaelbrown in #gaza ~ you seem like the type of person who never gets their security deposit back ~ For a variety of reasons, I am seldom in public queer places. If the only notices for events were posted there, then I would miss them. The online space reaches people that don’t go to in person space. ~ “Not the fastest bunny in the warren”: ~ I think of online interaction as a compliment to in person communication. You can reach more people online. ~ Open for comments. Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion. ~ I believe Meetup has a fee for their services. Paying this would require our community to set up a financial structure. I am not sure that we should do that. Also, I have been in a couple of groups that use Meetup. I have mixed feelings about them. Now,as for the option of facebook alternatives, I don’t know. An email list is fairly low maintenance. Very few of our events require an RSVP. We could go that way, or we could go to telephone based communication. That would cover the events. Now, as far as the group discussions go, I say good riddance. We are still recovering from the Sharon Needles clusterfuck. ~ What about Iraqi civilians? ~ I would be curious to see how many of these donations are actually made. Also, are these donations going to be verified by a reputable accounting firm? It would be real easy for the t shirt company (whose vulgar name I would rather not repeat) to make fake payments. The T shirt company is saying “trust us” on the donations issue, as well as the residence of the cute kids in the video. ~ Congratulations to @Osirus for blaming the barbarity of The United States on ISIS.~ You’ve reached the end of the Top Tweets for #LastLinesOfHorrifyingLimericks. ~ Astarte, Hecate, Demeter, Cali, Iana, and Diana are going to take up for their sister goddess. ~ Do hospitals have a 55 gallon drum for tissue removed by liposuction? ~ pictures from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
Should Have Used A Verb
A British facility, the Guardian, published a piece, Stephen King has named his most hated expressions. What are yours? The millionaire author listed a few expressions that “make his skin crawl.” The comment section was opened up. At this point in time, there are 2410 comments. Some are way too British for stateside consumption. Others are not funny. Some of the correspondents had boring psuedonyms. Many said football when they meant soccer.
PG saw this as an opportunity. After copying all the comments on page one, of twenty six, and editing out the internet jibberish, he was left with the verbiage below. Why does our slack blogger spend so much time on this? Does he need to visit Getalife.com? How will PG find time to take an internet quiz, solve racism, or troll Jesus worship blogs? Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
redfellterrier I had a manager who got into the habit of saying ‘on a go-forward basis’. It was all I could do not to stab out my eardrums after about three hours of this.
YeOldeMerryPrankster “Going forward” Ugh! That’s one of the worst alright, a favourite of middle-managers the world over.
Yourbandsucks Societal. I hate it. It seems to me that the anti-socialist indoctrination in the US is so strong that ‘social’ is banned just in case, when no one is looking, it grows horns, a pointy tail, grabs a pitch fork and becomes, AHHHHHHRRRRGGGGGGG – FULL BLOWN SOCIALISM.
AccidentalHoliday ‘It is what it is’. I could get behind, ‘It ain’t what it ain’t’ though!
Onion_Budgie Or as Frank Zappa might have put it: Do you know what you are? ~ You are what you is ~ You is what you am ~ (A cow don’t make ham…) ~ You ain’t what you’re not ~ So see what you got ~ You are what you is ~ An’ that’s all it ’tis.
Enheduanna ‘We are where we are’ a clusterfuck omnishambles that was perfectly preventable.
Snowhare ‘It is what it is’ Can’t stand this. If you are powerless in a particular situation, then say so.
Nietzschescat 1. “Can I reach out to you on that …” 2. Any form of words that includes “synergy” and leveraged”. Double fail if both.
tackypuns But ‘double fail’ is fine?
diotavelli Any use of the word ‘fail’ when the user means ‘failure’ is annoying and unacceptable.
ZacMurdoch yes, someone said ‘will you reach out to me with your diary’ the other day. I thought, OK, but only to hit you with it!
miasmadude “That being said…” Aaaarrrrgggghhhh.
Onion_Budgie “Just saying”. Especially when I see it used as a hashtag on Twitter. Yes, it is obvious that you’re ‘just saying’, otherwise you wouldn’t be er, saying it at all. Bleargh!
UndyingCincinnatus Even worse, when people use the hashtag when not on Twitter. I’ve seen it more than once in the comments section here. I would say that I’ll kill myself when I first hear a person say, out loud, “hashtag X” but years ago I said that about “LOL” and managed to stay away from the sharp objects when my brother of all people said it. It was close, though.
GlozboyI remember when people would say ‘I’m confused.com’. Jeez…
diotavelli My boss uses hashtags in emails. I haven’t killed him yet but that’s only because my cowardice is greater than his crime.
jackhugh ‘Many believe’ and ‘some people say’ are staple phrases of the far right media, especially US ‘news shows’ . it’s a transparent term to infer, slur or lie about a situation or person EVEN WORSE is the old “self styled” . . so and so in reference to a person as if it negates they’re authenticity, when in rational it’s inferred that no one is authentic unless they’ve been styled by others. utterly infuriating phrase ‘self styled’ . . . as opposed to having a stylist???
BewilderedMark staple phrases of the far right media, especially US ‘news shows’ To be fair, ‘the consensus is’ is part of a leftie liberal socialist conspiracy plot to create global warming and make America uncompetitive. Or something.
mizdarlin This could all be distilled to my pet hate, “They say…” I would cheerfully smack ‘they’ in the noggin if I could ever figure out who ‘they’ are…
Westmorlandia Let it go. “nauseous” means ‘feeling nausea’. It just does. Let it go… wooooooo…….. let it gooooooooo……..
deadcatclub I loved “chillax,” for maybe three seconds after I first read it. Then I heard it spoken, and I tossed.
willmau5 The misuse of literally makes me figuratively die with anger.
BewilderedMark Good. Literally dying could be considered an overreaction.
SybilSanderson “forward- thinking ” Often used in job descriptions under desirable attributes. Makes my skin crawl if I read that, makes me despair when I write that (obviously you use the keywords for their search pattern!). That I look for a new job in the first place is already a sign that I am “forward-thinking”..
obenole equally horrible: to think outside the box” makes want to think inside a box so I dont have to hear that phrase…
Kepler That’s just slang. It’s perfectly clear what is being said.
Ninebelowzero A meeting with my ex wife & her support worker dropped these bombshells. We need to square the circle, We need to level up on our aspirations Can we synchronise our diaries? my less than whispered comment about the ‘gentleman’ not being the fastest bunny in the warren & when you are here the village is calling your name fell on stony ground.
miasmadude “Not the fastest bunny in the warren”: oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
crystaltips2 Should of used a verb.
Gary Hunter People who say Touch Base….
AlanTyndall Unless you are the world’s rudest classical stringed instrument instructor.
Bewildered The only time I’m proactive is when I am about to slap someone for touching my base.
elbhahto A few weeks ago on a bus in London I overheard a woman talking loudly on her phone. She must have used the phrase “at the end of the day” at least 50 times in less than five minutes. Virtually every sentence started with it, and she often used it multiple times in a single sentence.
Snowhare I think I know this lady. The 210 from Archway to Finsbury Park?
Erbium Perhaps the sun was setting on the twilight of her years
elbhahto I think it was the 43 from Old Street, heading towards Archway. Infuriating, isn’t she?
eminexion Oh, I hate my bad so much, it makes me get angry with the person, even if they haven’t really been bad. And I agree about back in the day. Where the hell did it come from? People seem to have adopted it overnight, and now you hear it all the time.
MsFriday I hate it when people disagree with you and start their point by “if you think about it ….”. Because I HAVE thought about it. The thinking I did said you are wrong. The implication that I said stuff without thinking, where as you actually thought before you spoke, is so very rude. It sounds to be like a verbal punch.
BeckyDavidson “emotional rollercoaster” It’s the mode of transport that’s taken them on their journey. Hopefully at the end of that journey they’ll get closure.
previnquieres I had a boss once who told me that I was either with him or against him. He also said that he wanted everyone who worked for him to show humbleness. I was very definitely against him and his horrible use of English, didn’t have a clue what he meant by humbleness, so I left.
BePrepared How do these people even become bosses?
Mnemon By showcasing incredible figures, posed curves (in power-point presentations), and through the resulting boardroom antics.
cuscotown ‘I’m afraid’ as in ‘I’m afraid I can’t make that meeting’ . You aren’t afraid, its not terrifying, you just can’t do it.
ZacMurdoch I have to own up to this one – but it’s polite form, that’s all, meant as a softener. It’s probably dated now, but as there are so many modern affectations I hate, I’ll carry on using it!
Bluthner There are no easy answers, no silver bullets, only tough choices. We’ve embraced the challenge. My view is simple. wipe the slate clean.
shankspony I hear what you say…. No you bloody don’t
Nietzschescat For some people listening is getting ready to talk.
Socrates69 I particularly like LIMBO – laughing me bollix off
RayMullan Literally Itching My Bollocks Off?
Medicine
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger… then it hit me ~ I’m the youngest of three, my parents are both older. ~ I used to work as a trampoline salesman, it had it’s ups and downs. ~ I want to say that joke is average, but that would be mean. ~ My 3 year old niece recently shared this one: why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don’t have chairs. ~ When I was seven my great-grandpa told me this joke: “Hey Macaroni, I’ll bet you a dollar I can jump higher than this house!” “No way! You’re on!” Pap shakes his legs and wiggles his butt, prepping for an epic leap… then jumps all of six inches in the air. “You didn’t jump higher than the house! I win!” “Sure I did, Macaroni! Did you see the house jump?!” ~ A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?” The horse replies “My alcoholism is destroying my family.” ~ What have you got when you’ve got a pair of nuts on your chest? Chestnuts What have you got when you’ve got a pair of nuts on your wall? Walnut What have you got when you’ve got a pair of nuts on your chin? You’ve got a dick in your mouth ~ You know what my grandad said to me before he kicked the bucket? How far do you think I can kick that bucket?” ~ What’s white and can’t climb trees? A fridge. ~ What’s green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table ~ What’s grey and can’t fly? A parking lot. ~ What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint. ~ What’s red and bad for your teeth? A Brick! ~ Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil. It was a number 2 pencil! ~ A doctor wants to write something down and reaches into his coat pocket. He pulls out a rectal thermometer and exclaims, “Some asshole’s got my pencil!” ~ How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. ~ Im really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y ~ What did the ocean say to the island? Nothing, it just waved. ~ What’s Forest Gumps password? 1Forest1 ~ What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor” ~ What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot. ~ Two guys are relaxing on a dock over a lake when a turd, in the lake, floats up to the dock and says to them, “come on in, guys! The water’s great!” and floats away. One guy says to the other, “man, do you believe that shit!?” ~ Why do seagulls always stay out at sea? Because if they were in the bay they would be called bagels. ~ What’s yellow and painful when thrown at you? A bulldozer. ~ What is green and hurts when it’s poked in your eye? An alligator. ~ What’s black and hurts if you lick it? A chainsaw. ~ Helen Keller walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair. ~ Most people don’t know this, but Helen Keller was quite the animal lover. Here she is with her favorite cat, Mittens. Didn’t see that coming. Neither did she. ~ I’ve heard it before, but I bet she hasn’t. ~ What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator! ~ Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by ~ What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic ~ Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires. ~ Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks. ~ Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six offender ~ Why Don’t lobsters share? Because they’re shellfish ~ Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
Nine Eleven Story
This is my 911 story. I repeat it every year at this time. If you saw it last year, it has not changed. Feel free to skip the text and look at the pictures, from The Library of Congress.
I was at work, and someone called out that someone had run a plane into the World Trade Center. I didn’t think much of it, until I heard that the second tower had been hit, then the Pentagon, then the towers collapsed, then a plane crashed in Pennsylvania.
I focused on my job most of the day. There was always a lot of melodrama at that facility, and concentrating on my production duties helped to keep me saner. This was roughly the halfway point of my seven year tenure at this place.
One of the other workers was a bully for Jesus. He was a hateful loudmouth. After the extent of the damage became known, he shouted “They are doing this for Allah,” and prayed at his desk. The spectacle of the BFJ praying made me want to puke.
I became alienated from Jesus during these years. Once, I had once been tolerant of Christians and Jesus, as one would be with an eccentric relative. I began to loath the entire affair. I hear of others who found comfort in religion during this difficult time. That option simply was not available for me.
Seven Brilliant Quotes
There is a little graphic floating around, Seven Brilliant Quotes. Some find these sayings to be inspirational. PG smells a rat. Here are the seven quotes:
William Shakespeare – Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time.
Napoleon Bonaparte – The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.
Albert Einstein – I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. Its because of them I did it myself.
Abraham Lincoln – If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world.
Martin Luther King Jr. – We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.
Mahatma Gandhi – The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Abdul Kalaam – It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.
If nothing else, research into the veracity of these quotes should provide some amusing text to go between the pictures. When you go looking in the land of google, there is no telling what you will find. During this expedition, the first page rule will be in effect. Only results on the first google page will be considered. The NB quote has 1.7 million results, which is too much work.
Lets begin with Willie the shake. Did he really say “Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time.”? Or, as they say in the Yahoo village, Does anyone know where this Shakespeare quote comes from?
hugeshantz Does anyone know where this Shakespeare quote comes from? I’ve seen this quote all over the internet, always attributed to Shakespeare, but I can’t find a legitimate source of where it comes from (i.e. a specific sonnet, play, speech, etc.): “Never play….” Can anyone help me out here?
Dude the Obscure This is 20th/21st century psychobabble. Shakespeare never wrote anything remotely resembling that. Please never trust any of these idiotic “internet quote sites.” They are all, all, all crap. I can’t believe that any intelligent person could think for a minute that this was written by Shakespeare. Really. Get some critical-thinking skills, child.
The next quote is by Napoleon Bonaparte, not Napoleon Dynamite. “The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.”
Before we consider the veracity of this quote, lets consider two things. NB did not speak english, so there is likely to be translation confusion. Second, the wars NB started caused widepread suffering. Little of this suffering was caused by the silence of good people.
The sources on page one do little except show the quote, usually with the credit going to NB. No one shows when or where he said it, or in what context. Brainyquotes doea not show it on the NB pages.
Number three is from Albert Einstein.” I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. Its because of them I did it myself.” According to Shelly Winters, Marilyn Monroe did not say no to Dr. Einstein. Google has a doozy of a forum, Misquoting Einstein?.
Jimmy Snyder says the quote has been attributed to Dorothy Parker, Yogi Berra, William Shakespeare, The Bible, Benjamin Franklin, and Groucho Marx. This is a clue that the quote is bogus.
zoobyshoe’s I just found this an another wiki page discussing the quote page: “I am thankful …” This is being attributed to Einstein on the Internet, but it appears to come from Wayne W. Dyer’s book You’ll See It When You Believe It, page 54, according to Google Books. Dyer does not attribute it to Einstein, but mentions Einstein in the same paragraph. “In my office I have two framed posters. One is a picture of Albert Einstein, beneath which are the words “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” The other poster is made up solely of words: “I am grateful to all those people who said no. It is because of them I did it myself.” Great thoughts!”
Ryan_m_b’s “Never believe quotes you read on the internet” – Winston Churchill zoobyshoe’s His actual words were: “The internet has nothing to offer, but blood, tears, toil, and misquotes.”
It should not be surprising that Winston Churchill finds his way into this discussion. He has a taste for the spotlight, even 47 years after his demise. He is an example of how truthiness is sometimes all you need. His most famous speech was a radio address during a bad part of World War Two. The speech was read by an actor. England was inspired, and went on to win the war. Why should anyone worry if an actor gave his speech for him?
This is enough fun for one day. There will be a part two soon, and it will probably be full of number two. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Welcome to part two of the Chamblee54 due diligence report on the Seven Brilliant Quotes. In part one, we checked out the first three. At no time was a source for the quote found. All three are suspect, with “misunderstanding” indicated in the Albert Einstein quote. It is amazing how quickly accepted these sayings are by the inspiration hungry public.
Getting back to business, did Abraham Lincoln say “If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world.” There are lots of links to this quote, in a variety of fonts and colors. Some have spectacular photography in the background. However, none of these links has a source for this quote, or any indication of the context.
Wikiquotes has 43,444 words about Abraham Lincoln. PG copied these words, and did a search for the word “friendship”. The quote from the poster was not found. The meme is missing. This wikiquotes test has been very useful for checking out quotes. It is not authoritative, but is a good place to start.
This type of research can be frustrating. Being inspired by beautiful words can give you strength and purpose. It can also make you feel foolish, when the lovely words are revealed to be lies. Being a cynic gets lonely. Children of all ages don’t like to be told that there is no Santa Claus.
The good news is that number five is for real. Martin Luther King gave a speech at Western Michigan University in 1963. There is a probably his standard speech, given many times. The second section of the speech is “Call for action.”
“The world in which we live is geographically one. Now we are challenged to make it one in terms of brotherhood. Now through our ethical and moral commitment, we must make of it a brotherhood. We must all learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools. This is the great challenge of the hour. This is true of individuals. It is true of nations. No individual can live alone. No nation can live alone.”
“I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality. [W]e’re challenged after working in the realm of ideas, to move out into the arena of social action and to work passionately and unrelentingly to make racial justice a reality.”
“[W]e must never substitute a doctrine of Black supremacy for white supremacy. For the doctrine of Black supremacy is as dangerous as white supremacy. God is not interested merely in the freedom of black men and brown men and yellow men but God is interested in the freedom of the whole human race, the creation of a society where all men will live together as brothers.”
PG has written about the problem of quoting Mohandas Gandhi before. Supposedly he said “I love your Christ, but I dislike your Christianity.” PG thinks this is a fabrication.
The quote on the poster is “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Wikiquotes has a link to Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi Online. The next stop is page 302 of this section. Mr. Gandhi gave an “Interview to the press” in Karachi, on March 26, 1931. A freedom fighter named Bhagat Singh had been executed by the British three days earlier.
Do you not think it impolitic to forgive a government which has been guilty of a thousand murders?
I do not know a single instance where forgiveness has been found so wanting as to be impolitic.
But no country has ever shown such forgiveness as India is showing to Britain?
That does not affect my reply. What is true of individuals is true of nations. One cannot forgive too much. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
The bottom line is from Dr. Abdul Kalam. (The name is misspelled on the poster.) The phrase is “It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.” Many viewers have no idea who this person is. Once again, Wikiquotes comes to the rescue. “Dr. Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam (born 15 October 1931) Indian scientist and engineer; 11th President of India; generally referred to as Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam.” The quotes are from Wings of Fire: An Autobiography of APJ Abdul Kalam.
A search for the word “defeat” did not show results. A search for “win” shows a few, but not the poster child. The phrase on the poster is also credited to John Keats. There is also the story of the student who argues with an atheist professor, and ultimately wins. The student is sometimes said to be Albert Einstein. In this version, Argumnent : What, Who is GOD?, the coda is “This seems to be a true story, and the student was none other than APJ Abdul Kalam, the former President of India “.
The research for part one consisted of entering the quote into a search engine. It was not until the Lincoln investigation that the method of copying wikiquote, and searching for a key word, was discovered. Out of a sense of fairness, the first three quotes will be investigated using this method.
For William Shakespeare, the search word was risk. There were no results. For Napoleon Bonaparte, the search word was violence. There was one result. “There is no such thing as an absolute despotism; it is only relative. A man cannot wholly free himself from obligation to his fellows, and not the one on the poster. For Albert Einstein, the search word was thankful. There were no results.
So, there are seven quotes in the motivational poster. Only two of the seven have a apparent source. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost. This version is edited, out of concern for the attention span of the audience.
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