Chamblee54

Saturday night, I celebrated the full moon by reading five poems before an unsuspecting audience. This text today is accompanied by pictures from the graphic version of the poems. The titles below have a link embedded, so you can see the rest of the pictures. One poem, Bam Bam, does not have pictures yet. Bam Bam was my first hekaton, or one hundred syllable poem.

#whyiwasfiredfromwalmart
Wannaknow #whyiwasfiredfromwalmart, Rub Chocolate Pudding On Diaper Shelf
Attacked Customer With A Shopping Cart, Drew Hitler Mustache On The Christmas Elf
Paging “Mike Vick To The Pet Department”, Remote Control Fart Machine For Baked Beans
Testing Condoms Without Getting Consent, Put Cucumbers And Lube In Random Queens
Sacrifice Barbie Doll For Satan’s Glory, Count On Fingers Taking Inventory
Using Beer Cans For Curlers In My Hair, Polyester Camel Toe Savoir Faire
Greet People At Front By Flashing My Tits, Caterwauling All The Neil Diamond Hits

Bad Hygiene Tips Part One
bathe in swamp water for a youthful glow, lose your toothbrush? find a live weasel
go lick your vibrator clean tomorrow, dollar store cologne instead of diesel
smoke the breath mints in the urinal, floss is too flimsy try a razor blade
fill both sides of toilet paper y’all, lick bathroom floor at the colonnade
Bad Hygiene Tips Part Two
bug spray deodorant in a pinch, perfume covers republican stench
you never have to wipe a clean cut crap, if you piss in the sink with spinal tap
use meth to whiten and strengthen smile, kinky groovy sex at walmart lifestyle

Sonnet Number Two
bake brownies blow mud build a log cabin, bust a grumpie burn a mule blow ordure
code brown crap factory get happy win, lubrication defecation manure
discharge doo doo craptastic driver ball, drop kids off bomber pool hot honkey night
wolf bait trout duke it out go down the hall, dump trump wailin’ palin burger delight
deep fried twinkie luther burger breakfast, regurgitation free the turtle fast
expel shy hamster dumper diver lunch, grease the bowl grow a tail corpulent crunch
fly fecal matter effluent sinner, give birth to future state trooper dinner

Miss Dorothy
You Can Die Of Your Shame Or Live With Pride, Leviticus Abomination Decay
Miss Dorothy Is Always On Our Side, Take Off Your Seat Belt And Go For A Ride
Queer As A Crochet Bathtub Ballet, You Can Die Of Your Shame Or Live With Pride
The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name Denied, Shouldn’t Talk With Your Mouth Full Anyway
Miss Dorothy Is Always On Our Side, Heteronormative Bonnie And Clyde
Just Too Lazy To Pray Away The Gay, You Can Die Of Your Shame Or Live With Pride
Give Me Librium Or Give Me Meth Outside, Gurl Didn’t Mean To Steal Your Hair Spray
Miss Dorothy Is Always On Our Side, Are You Doctor Jekyll Or Mister Hyde?
Madonna Plastic Surgery Buffet, You Can Die Of Your Shame Or Live With Pride
Miss Dorothy Is Always On Our Side

Boo Boo
Bam Bam Boo Boo Boogie Boner Blaster, Gomer Goober Gobble Sergeant Carter
Hair Pie Hoover Hooker Plaster Caster, Penis Pinga Pecker Packer Harder
Slick Willie Pick Monica Lewinsky, Salad Tossing Deep Throat Le Leche Leak
Blow By Blow Rusty Trombone Buttinsky, Slurp Spurt Spit Swallow Alabama Freak
Carpet Munching Sixty Nine Ratio, Slurping Gherkin Auto-Fellatio
©Luther Mckinnon 2026 · selah