A Sad Event
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
I am not clever enough to compose the above piece. Credit is hereby given to whoever wrote it. This is a repost. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. The spell check suggestion for Doughboy is Doughnut.
Sixteen Transwomen
Yesterday was #transliberationtuesday. Rallies were held in major cities to express concern over the trans women, of color, who have been murdered in 2015. Today, a list of names was published.
Elisha Walker, Penny Proud, Lamia Beard, Mercedes Williamson, Ty Underwood, Kandis Capri, Yazmin Payne, Amber Monroe, Taja Gabrielle DeJesus, London Chanel, Ashton O’Hara, India Clarke, Shade Schuler, Tamara Dominquez, Papi Edwards, Keysha Blige.
A list of names does not say much, and tends to dehumanize the deceased. If you look at the stories of these sixteen people, you learn a few things. It is not known why these murders are happening. Every case is different. The conclusions taken below are based on rather shallow research. Police may have suspects in some of the cases, where initial reports say nobody knew who did it. None of the sixteen transwomen of color were killed by a police officer.
There is no suspect in eight of the killings. Again, this is based on the reports turned up by Google, and could have changed. These are the cases with no suspect. Penny Proud, Lamia Beard, Kandis Capri, Amber Monroe, Shade Schuler, Tamara Dominquez, Keysha Blige, and Taja Gabrielle DeJesus. In the case of Miss DeJesus, witnesses report that the killer was a black man. The stabbing took place on McKinnon Avenue, in the Bayview district of San Francisco CA.
In eight cases, there is a named suspect. Seven of the eight are black men. The eighth is Josh Brandon Vallum, suspected in the murder of Mercedes Williamson. “The Herald reports Josh Vallum is a longtime member of the Latin Kings street gang.”
Here are the other seven trans woman, followed by the name of the man accused of the crime. Elisha Walker, Angel Dejesus Arias ~ Ty Underwood, Carlton Ray Champion ~ Yazmin Payne, Ezekiel Dear (known on myspace as “Strength of God”) ~ London Chanel, Raheam Felton ~ Ashton O’Hara, Larry Gaulding ~ India Clarke, Keith Gaillard ~ Papi Edwards, Henry Richard Gleaves II.
Two of the trans women were believed to be in a relationship with their killer. These pairings are Ty Underwood/ Carlton Ray Champion, and Yazmin Payne/ Ezekiel Dear.
Two of the killings took place in Detroit MI. “Federal authorities are investigating the slayings of two transgender women recently found near one of Detroit’s red-light districts as possible hate crimes, local reports said. … The bodies of Ashton O’Hara, 25, and Amber Monroe, 20, were found only weeks apart at the city’s Palmer Park, an area plagued by LGBT violence.” Another, Tamara Dominquez, was in Kansas City MO. Comments suggest that she was in an area known for prostitution.
Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Another Word For Lie
I need to see this in person ~ #tweetthatgotmeblocked @chescaleigh when you say the n-word you demean yourself it is in your best interest not to use it ~ You are blocked from following @chescaleigh and viewing @chescaleigh’s Tweets. ~ POTUS KIA ~ I see that you have blocked me on twitter. You are within your rights to do so. I do regret missing your commentary. I find it interesting that the last comment I made was about the n word. I have felt for a long time than ridicule, rather than outrage, is the best approach to using this unfortunate word. I also feel that the use of those six letters degrades the user, no matter what ethnicity. I have written about this on my blog. The social justice movement is reaching a point where few are converted. Most anti racist talk is preaching to the choir. A lot of people are tired of the conversation. If your goal is to entertain those who agree with you, then preach on. You will get plenty to cheer. If you goal is to influence others, then you might want to talk less, and listen more. ~ I had never thought about William F. Buckley as a closet queen. Horrifying visuals aside, it does make a bit of sense. ~ White progressives trying to help minorities #FeelTheBern put in their place with #NotAnAlly hashtag ~ story is another word for lie ~ For every flag draped coffin, there are a hundred dead Iraqis. ~ You’re entitled to your own opinion, but not to your own facts. ~ It is a dilemma. You should be prepared for war. The problem is, when you have these science fiction weapons, you are going to look for ways to use them. Add to that a political/economic machine that is fueled by weapons spending. I am not smart enough to know the answer, ~ all things are possible in a world without g-d ~ @FrankConniff The most racism ever packed into one sentence: George Zimmerman selling Confederate flags at Muslim Free Zone gun shop. ~ KimKierkegaardashian @KimKierkegaard Without sin, there is no sexuality, and without sexuality, no history. ~ What about being annoyed by ugly graphics? ~ White progressives trying to help minorities #FeelTheBern put in their place with #NotAnAlly hashtag ~ @HrishiHirway Did you know? the origin of the word GODSPEED comes from this one time Zeus and Poseidon took a whizz on a bush ~ Would mojo help? ~ The “confederate flag” is also known as the St. Andrew’s cross. Do you ever see this symbol in St. Andrews? ~ a mexican a black and a chinaman walk into ~ I was in town last night. The Krystal on Peachtree at Seventh is about to become twenty luxury residences. Is nothing sacred? ~ Like that view of Peachtree Street today, the graphic poem will bear very little resemblance to the original. I was down there last night, and was heartbroken to see that the Starbucks/Krystal on 7th street was torn down to make way for “20 luxury residences.” ~ @nihilist_arbys Ash blankets a silent, ruined world. The slaves trudge through nuclear winter beneath a black scorched sky to the last Arbys Arbys is closed ~ #conservative #liberal #racist are obsolete insults their use should be discouraged ~ One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone. And do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, tomorrow is never promised, so make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. Happiness is a journey, just as life is. Enjoy the ride. ~ Ida Scott Taylor ~ Comments are disabled for this video. ~ I listened to this talk, and then stumbled into this thread. Is this synchronicity, or a conspiracy to keep people from their chores? ~ written about this video ~ jokes ~ is it appropriate to refer to this as a status? ~ @WernerTwertzog Please, no more trust-building exercises. I prefer to regard you all with suspicion And secret loathing. ~ Rachel Rosenthal is a comedian, improviser, instructor, and free-style rapper working in New York City. ~ The Free Dictionary says “shit” is derived from shitten, in Middle English. There is probably onomatopoeia involved, when you consider how much the act of defecation sounds like “shit”. If you are easily amused, try typing “shit” into google. As for “bull”, this is also credited, or blamed, on Middle English. For some reason, pronouncements by the Pope are called Papal Bull. It is not known if there is a connection to male cattle, or the excrement produced by these animals. ~ pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. ~ selah
Poetry Questionnaire
This just turned up on facebook. “just sent my students their first assignment for “introduction to poetry writing” !!!! it’s a “poetry questionnaire” smile emoticon” Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
01. What shape, color and smell is poetry? Bakery exhaust clouds
02. You’re sitting next to poetry on an airplane. How do you start the conversation? Please turn down the noise on your device. Those drum beats sound like marching ants.
03. What is poetry’s nickname? Fossil fuel
04. What does poetry sound like? Houseplants gossiping about last nights disaster in the kitchen.
05. What room in your house is poetry? Crawl space
06. How does poetry move in its body? Does it walk, gallop, stumble, dance? Slither
07. What are poetry’s five favorite words? Listen stupid help hamburger cow
08. Use those words in a sentence. Listen to grinder/scruff turn my stupid cow into hamburger help.
09. Poetry, music, art and science are high school classmates. Do they get along? During football season, if the team is winning. Otherwise, things change from day to day.
10. What are the politics of poetry? Poetry yearns for return of whig party, and does not see Donald Trump’s hairpiece as qualified. Sarah Palin’s wigs are more historically geographical.
11. Who does poetry follow on twitter? @whiteliesmatter
12. Earth, water, fire or air? Mud
13. “Doth Poets rime, and doth this Line / align, or just lay plain?” Plain does not hook up.
14. Who is the least poetic person you know, and why? Jesus He is boring and pretentious.
15. Surprise! They’re a poet. Ignore his followers when they ask for money.
16. *gargles water while juggling 6 chainsaws, slips on banana peel and falls into enormous banana cream pie, survives unscathed and wins the Pulitzer Prize for poetry* Secret is to use electric chainsaw cords for leverage. Try to fall into a chocolate cake.
17. “As yet, in Time, ye Poets may / forsake the Forms and never rime again.” That’s my story and i’m sticking to it. Don’t believe any of the other stories going around.
18. Are you enjoying this questionnaire? [HR requires me to ask] HR is the hamburger cow.
19. What question do you wish I’d asked? What do you have to do to get a sexual harassment complaint? It is an important item on my bucket list.
20. Answer it. Show up, stay awake, don’t kill anyone.
Richards
A comment at a recent post mentioned “Jenning’s Rose Room, a classic poor white juke and dance hall … where Trader Joes now sits.” PG had been in that building when it was called Richards. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
There is no telling what the original use of the building at 931 Monroe Drive was. It was across the street from Grady Stadium, and adjacent to Piedmont Park. The railroad tracks that became the beltline ran behind it. The parking lot was primitive, with a marquee sign built at some point. (PG drove by that sign several nights and saw that Lynyrd Skynyrd was playing.)
There was another nightclub building on the hill behind JRR. One night, PG went to see a jazz band there, accompanied by someone who lived in a nearby house. After seeing the band, PG was led to a horse stable behind the bar. The horses were not well maintained … you could see the ribs sticking out. There is a story of a goat getting loose from the stable, and being chased out of the jazz bar during happy hour.
Jennings Rose Room was before PG’s time. There is a story that some men had lunch there, and made a bet. The idea was to hit a golf ball from the JRR parking lot, and putt it into a hole at Piedmont Park. A biscuit was used as a tee. The first shot went across the street, onto the field at the stadium. Eventually, the ball was hit across Tenth Street, onto a green, and into the cup.
At some point, Jennings Rose Room closed. A gay club called Chuck’s Rathskeller was opened in that location. A rock and roll club or two did business there. Then Richards opened.
The first time PG was in the house was after a Johnny Winter concert at the Fox. There were rumors of visiting musicians dropping by Richards to play after their shows. Mr. Winter was only onstage for a couple of minutes after PG got there.
The most memorable trip to Richards was during the summer of 1973. The headliner was Rory Gallagher, who was ok but not spectacular. The opening act was Sopwith Camel, one of the forgotten bands of the seventies. They performed a novelty hit, “Hello Hello”. Someone in the audience liked it, and paid them to do it again. The band wound up doing “Hello Hello” five times, and said that was the most money they made in a long time.
Average White Band was making the rounds that fall, and had a show at Richards. A lot of the audience was black, and they hit the dance floor in unison when “Pick up the Pieces” was played. Fellow Scotsman Alex Harvey was in town, and joined AWB to sing “I heard it through the grapevine”.
Muddy Waters played at Richards one night. The band did most of the playing, with Mr. Waters tossing in a few licks on bottleneck guitar. He might have sang a couple of times.
About this time, Iggy Pop played a few shows at Richards. One night, someone snuck up on him, and gave him a hug. It was Elton John, wearing a gorilla suit.
PG saw three more shows (that he can remember) at Richards. Richie Havens was worth the two dollar admission. Soft Machine played in the winter of 1974. Larry Coryell played a show that summer, with the Mike Greene Band opening. PG got to talk to Mike Greene that night. The National Association of Recording Arts and Sciences (who do the Grammy Awards) had a President named C. Michael Greene at one time. PG thinks this is the person he talked to that night.
Two friends of PG went, as their first date, to see Spirit at Richards. They were married a few years later. Towards the end of 1974, Richards was running out of steam. They advertised a New Years Eve show starring B.B. King, and sold high priced tickets. When the crowd showed up for the show, they found the doors locked. Richards had closed.
The next tenant for 931 Monroe Drive was going to be Cabaret After Dark, a gay club. There was a fire the night before the grand opening. The building was never used again. Eventually, a shopping center was built on the site.
UPDATE: Here is an article, from the Great Speckled Bird, about Richards. This is a repost.
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2015 Part Two
Here is part two of the chamblee54 coverage of the 2015 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Number two might be more appropriate. Part one went up a few days ago. The explanation of what BLFC can be found at all three of those links. Pictures for this appalling waste of bandwidth are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Claire had more daddy issues than Boy’s Life magazine published in the late 1970s, but she was a perfect match for Donald, whose personality was vaguely sticky, like the outside of a squeezable honey container or anything handled by a three-year-old. — James Pokines, Boston, MA
Wilbur’s passionate kisses sent a warm shiver down Eugenia’s tender spine and made the coarse hair on her knuckles erect. — David Pepper, Torrance, CA
This is a story about love, but not just any kind of love like how you love the feeling of trading in a pair of soggy, old socks for fresh ones, or the taste of salty French fries dipped in a chocolate milkshake, I’m talking about the other kind of love. — Anna Sagstetter, Fort Wayne, IN
It was debatable what Felicity enjoyed most about the night – the delicious dinner, the marvelous movie, or the satisfying sex – but one thing was clear and that was that she hoped she wouldn’t be doing it alone again next time. — Randy Blanton, Murfreesboro, TN
Camilla was a strong, confident woman who ran a Fortune 500 company and made her own yogurt, but what she really longed for was a control-freak guy who would tap her phone, lock her in her room, and force her to listen to Gilbert Gottfried singing the national anthem.
Laura Ruth Loomis, Pittsburg, CA
Having eaten her fill of the town’s fils et filles, the French witch inspected her candy-encrusted house and decided she needed a grander lure to attract grander prey–perhaps she should build a homme depot. — Scott Britton, Boston, MA
Old Man Dracula forgot to put his teeth in one night, and so had to come home hungry, with a sort of “nothing dentured, nothing veined” look on his face.— Matthew Pfeifer Beaman IA
Spurs a-jangling, Black Bert sauntered to the bar and cried “this town ain’t big enough!”—then gulped a whisky, fingered his six-shooter, and belched—”so I say we annex Dry Gulch, thus increasing our tax base while simultaneously reducing fixed costs through economies of scale.”
Joel Phillips, West Trenton, NJ
“Pecos Mac” McCarthy index-fingered back the brim of his battered Stetson, squatted at the edge of the waterhole, cupped a handful of brackish water, squinted out over the shimmering alkali flats of the Badlands, and decided then and there that he had prit’ near had it with overwrought, hackneyed western imagery. — Joseph Pramuk, Napa, CA
Barnaby asked the counter girl for a pastrami sandwich on rye with heartbreak, onions, and ennui on it, wrapped to go in the soul of a sheep, to which she turned wearily and yelled, “Another number six!”— Jeff Coleburn, West Chester, PA
Stephanie did not intend to become an animal coroner when she went to veterinary school, but the workload was manageable and, for cats, she usually just had to check the “curiosity” box under “cause of death.”— Doug Purdy, Roseville, CA
Carlos stared in lust and amazement as she walked away, her spandex-covered body giving the impression of two well-oiled sumo wrestlers on stilts furiously going for the win.
Marlin Back, Columbus, IN
The Phylognites made love by intertwining their eyeball stalks, a most erotic sensation except occasionally when, due to inexperience or excessive ardor, their stalks became inextricably bound in what (unbeknownst to them) a species of obnoxious, quarrelsome little bipeds on an obscure planet circling a small star in the Milky Way might call a “bird’s nest.” — Wayne Carmichael, Tyler, TX
“You’re a dead man, O’ Flanagan,” said the mortuary supervisor to the corpse laid out before him, chuckling to himself at how comical that remark was, a sentiment not shared with the rest of the night shift who all secretly yearned for the day he retired, having heard the same joke on innumerable occasions with just the surname of the deceased changed. — Ted Downes, Cardiff, U.K.
Was Mae West A Real Girl?
Today would be birthday 122 for Mary Jane “Mae” West. Of course, she died in 1980, so the party is off. PG saw a note on facebook, and made the comment “She was rumored to be a man.” One right click google search later, this post started to take shape.
There is a blogspot site, maewest.blogspot.com. It is still published, with a birthday post today. Five years ago there was a post, Mae West: Penis Rumors. It seems as though Miss West liked to say, to the press, “When I die, you are going to be very surprised!”
A hollywood gossipmonger had a story, Was Mae West…A Man?! Much of her information comes from the tasteful findadeath site. The story here is that Mae West died in 1950, and the death was kept quiet. Her brother made appearances in her place, until the final death in 1980. This would have been quite a feat, considering that John Edwin West died in 1964. That doesn’t stop people from talking.
“…the real Mae West died somewhere around 1950, give or take a couple years, and rather than let the show stop, it was announced that not Mae, but her brother, died. Of course, the brother then became Mae West and carried on until November 1980. If you look carefully at photos from around 1950 on it definitely looks like a different person not to mention the big hands and masculine features, bone structure, etc. I may not have all the details 100% correct but I would almost put money on the fact that the ‘Mae West’ ‘who died in 1980 had a weenie!!”
The hands were mentioned by Raquel Welch. The two were in Myra Breckinridge, the first movie Miss West had made in 27 years. (Miss West appeared on Mr. Ed in 1964.) Miss Welch appeared at a film festival in 2012, and had stories to tell.
“When I went over to say hello to her (one day) I said, ‘Hi, it’s Raquel, remember?’ She sort of extended her hand to me and I went to kiss the ring and one false fingernail painted silver fell to the floor. I looked at the hand and I thought, ‘Oh, I’m getting a vibe.’ I really think she’s a man! At this point in her life all bets are off and you’re not going to be able to doll it up that much. I would say it’s pretty accurate that she resembled a dock worker in drag.” …
“I had this beautiful dress and it was black with a big white ruffle around the neck and a black velvet hat … Apparently Mae got wind of the fact that I was wearing this exquisite dress and I went to the studio that day for our scene together. I got coiffed, got my hair done and went to the closet to get the dress and it wasn’t there. I asked my dresser what happened to the dress and she said, ‘It’s been confiscated. Mae does not want you to wear that dress. You can wear the red dress that you wore in the last scene!’ … Welch was so outraged that she stormed off the set and refused to return until the dress was back in her closet. … “For the scene, we never appeared in a two-shot together. She left after she did her lines and I had someone off-camera reading her lines and I had to pretend she was there.”
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Caitlyn
When you type “Caitlyn Jenner is” into google, the two options are Bruce Jenner and Who. PG was looking for something else. On this weeks Bret Easton Ellis Podcast, B.E.E. – Sean Baker – 8/10/15, trans issues are discussed. BEE discussed an online post, Caitlyn Jenner Is A Dumb Cunt. Technically, stupid prick is probably more anatomically accurate.
PG has tried to ignore Caitlyn Jenner. The step grandmother of Kayne’s baby is everywhere. People are praising her for courage, saying she is pretty, or denouncing her as a terrible person. What PG heard from Sick Of Your Crap was not praise.
“So now that we all seem to finally be winding down from the exhausting, weeks-long Insincerity Parade, celebrating Caitlyn Jenner’s “coming out”, while tripping over each other in a rush to prove just how uber-modern, accepting, and progressive we all are towards a meticulously media-packaged, celebrity transsexual, I say we all get back to addressing the fact that Caitlyn Jenner is a dumb cunt. … You really want to know who Caitlyn Jenner is? Caitlyn Jenner is that driver that aggressively tailgates you on the freeway when you’re in the right-hand lane, but still chooses not to pass. … You know, that driver that you’d like to pull out of their fucking car and beat with a tire iron? Right. Caitlyn Jenner is THAT asshole. … Sure, trans people have it rough, and by conservative numbers, they’re the victims of at least 150-200 violent crimes a year – … Last year there were over 30,000 deaths via auto accidents. Auto accidents caused by assholes like Caitlyn Jenner. Maybe she should be speaking out about THAT. “
The February car crash has not gotten as much publicity as the sex change. PG just now heard about it. A surveillance video does not really show much. Mr. Jenner denies texting while driving. This type of aggressive driving is traditionally blamed on having too much testosterone in the system.
There are only a few comments at SOYC. Heidi Honeycutt You are disgusting! I seriously hope you know how degrading this is to all trans people who have fought hard for what they have. I hope you enjoy diminishing Caitlyn’s accomplishments. Mitchell Boone Just wait until she runs over your loved ones. Lou Rusconi You are a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, VILE man!! (way to start the blog off with a BANG) JLH I am a transgender woman (fully transitioned in my early 20’s) and I completely agree with this post 100%. In fact let me go further in saying that Ms. Jenner is one of the worst possible public faces of our community that I can imagine. In addition to the fact that she is 65 years old (why did you wait until 65 to transition, Caitlyn?!?) and I don’t think anyone should transition that late for a host of reasons I won’t go into now, she is a fame-obsessed narcissist and an abject idiot. I have been beyond annoyed with the fact that she KILLED SOMEONE and she seems utterly unconcerned about it. The media also is utterly unconcerned about it for obvious reasons. I knew the moment she started the process that she was becoming a woman despite the lies that everyone told about it at the time, and I also sighed a deep sigh because I knew our community was in for a long and bumpy ride. I only hope that she will fade into obscurity sooner rather than later. This is not at all the person who I want to be the face of our community.
The SOYC piece is tasteful compared to Disgusted By Amusement. ” JESUS, look at those horrible fake tits cemented to that chest. And let’s not even speculate on what’s down below. A dick and shriveled scrotum with no balls? No dick? A tattoo of Kris Jenner’s face for a cunt? JENNER, YOU ARE A GRUESOME, LOATHESOME, DETESTABLE EXAMPLE OF BARELY SOLID PUTRESENCE. If you GO AWAY I wish you luck. If you stay a cinder in the public eye, I wish you a fatal car accident from a driver just as self-involved and twisted as yourself.”
There will be just one more, before we go back to the pictures. A house in Massachusetts has a sign. “Caitlyn Jenner Donates Testicles To Cowardly Obama,” Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Slaughterhouse-Five Part Seven
This is part seven of the chamblee54 circumnavigational retrospective of Kurt Vonnegut’s anti glacier classic, Slaughterhouse-Five. Parts one, two, three, four, five, and six have already seen the light of day. This installment will cover chapters nine and ten, and will probably be the end. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. The man in the last three pictures was Frank Gordy, the owner of The Varsity.
At the start of chapter nine, Billy Pilgrim has been in a plane crash. His wife, Valencia, is trying to get to the hospital. While en route, there is an accident. The Cadillac Valencia is driving is rear ended by a Mercedes. The trunk of the Caddy looked like ” the mouth of a village idiot who was explaining that he didn’t know anything about anything”.
The Caddy had bumper stickers, given to BP by someone in the John Birch Society. One said “Reagan for President.” In 1968, Ronnie had been Governor of California for less than two years. The idea of the former actor as POTUS was a conservative fantasy. Did KV have the imagination to see the future? In 12 years, Ronald Reagan would run for POTUS, against the former Governor of Georgia. Ronnie would win, and be re-elected in 1984. In 2015, Nancy’s husband would be revered as Saint Ronnie by the Republican party. The future is a strange place, if you haven’t time traveled through it.
Back in 1968, Valencia Pilgrim was in a hurry to get to the hospital. She continued to drive the Cadillac, even though the exhaust system was wasted. Valencia made it to the hospital, and collapsed in the parking lot. She died of carbon monoxide poisoning. This is the first time KV says “So it goes” in chapter nine. SIG081. It is not the last.
BP is, physically, in a hospital bed while all this is going on. His roommate is a dreadful fellow named Bertram Copeland Rumfoord. Dr. Rumfoord is a history professor, who is fascinated by war. Any actual combat service is not mentioned. Dr. Rumfoord does not suffer from false modesty. Nor is he impressed by BP … “I could carve a better man out of a banana.”
Dr. Rumfoord is researching a history of World War II. He has his wife read papers to him, while BP passively listens behind a white screen. The foreword to a book about the Dresden raid is read. The author laments the lives lost that night, but reminds us that two wrongs make a right, and that Germany killed a lot of the good guys. SIG082.
Another author compared the deaths in Dresden to Hiroshima and Toyko. SIG083. Comparing casualty statistics of the combatants in a war can give you a headache. The USA lost 415,000, mostly soldiers, which is nothing to be happy about. However, the Amerikan losses were a rounding error when considering the 25,000,000 men, women, and children believed lost by the Soviet Union.
Meanwhile, Barbara, the daughter of BP, is visiting her father in the hospital. She is not in good shape, which can be expected under the circumstances. Some doctor gave her medication, and she has a glassy eyed look. SIG084. Soon Robert Pilgrim, without the nacreous pink guitar, is back from Vietnam. This scene was in the movie. Robert Pilgrim says he is sorry about what happened in the graveyard. That incident was mentioned in the book one time.
Dr. Rumfoord is going to include Dresden in his book. The raid was little known in Amerika. According to Dr. Rumfoord, the military did not want to upset the bleeding hearts. At this point, BP speaks up. “I was there.” Dr. Rumfoord does not believe BP, and feels euthanasia is appropriate.
At some point in the proceedings BP is back in Dresden, on the morning after. He finds a horse cart, and then goes for a ride. Soon, an elderly German couple sees BP. The elderly Germans talk to BP in tones that might have been spoken to Jesus, as he was taken down from the cross. SIG085. The elderly Germans made BP aware of the wretched condition of the horses. When BP sees this, he cries for the only time during the war.
In a few days, BP is on his way back to Amerika. He is on board a freighter, Lucretia A. Mott. Miss Mott was a famous suffragette, who was dead. SIG086. Before long, BP is home from the hospital. We don’t know what vehicle took him there. BP sneaks out of the house, and goes to New York City. BP wants to find a tv show, that will have him as a guest. BP wants to share what he learned on Tralfamadore. When he starts to look at New York television, all the shows were about silliness and murder. SIG087. BP was used to having only 3 channels, and was perplexed by the abundance of choice in New York. He might have missed the good stuff.
BP goes out for a walk. There is a sign, with the news displayed in a streaming marquee. SIG088. There is a dirty book store, with Kilgore Trout novels in the window. This is another theme of KV…Kilgore Trout novels in front of dirty bookstores, to lend redeeming social value to the smut.
One of these novels is about a planet called Zircon-212. This was a few years before Frank Zappa recorded the dental floss anthem “Montana,” with the invitation to purchase zircon encrusted tweezers. This is possibly connected to a house PG once stayed in. The house was on Zircon Place, in a neighborhood was called Diamond Heights.
Another novel by Mr. Trout returned to the Jesus theme. It involves a 12 year old boy, who is being taught carpentry by his dad. Roman soldiers come in. They want a cross built, for an emergency crucifixion the next day. The carpenter is happy to get the work. SIG089. Another Jesus book involves a time traveler named Lance Corwin. He takes a stethoscope back to Cavalry, to see if Jesus was really dead on that not so good Friday. The heart was still, and Jesus was certifiably deceased. SIG090. One fact in this story corresponds to the information on the Shroud of Turin. Jesus was 5″3″ tall. The Shroud also suggests that Jesus did not have a navel.
Soon, the porn clerks wonder why BP is reading the redeeming social value books. They steer him to a magazine, with the lurid cover “Whatever happened to Montana Wildhack?” BP knows, but also knows enough to keep this knowledge to himself. The magazine says Montana Wildhack was killed by Lenny Bruce. He caught her stepping out one too many times. SIG091.
BP soon tires of the dirty bookstore. He finds a radio show that will have him as a guest. The question of the evening is whether, or not, the novel is dead. SIG092. BP tries to say that the novel was never alive on Tralfamadore, and is ushered off the show. To confirm this, BP time travels back to Tralfamadore. Montana Wildhack who is nursing their baby, is tired of BP.
That is the end of chapter nine. In the first part of chapter ten, KV mentions Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., Vietnam, KV Sr., and Charles Darwin. SIG093. SIG094. SIG095. SIG096. SIG097. Another Kilgore Trout story comes up. The aliens ask the earth people about golf.
The story ends where it started, with KV going to German with war buddy Bernard O’Hare. Mr. O’Hare was not mentioned in the rest of the book. There is a passage from a book, that KV shows to the reader. So many babies are born every day. SIG098. So many people die every day. SIG099. The population of the world will be 7 billion in 2000. This speculation was before the internet. The current story estimates the number of earthlings at 7,359,240,848.
The story is almost over. BP makes one final trip to Dresden. It is after the raid, and BP is working with a Maori POW, helping to clean up. They find a hole, with a lot of dead Germans. The dead Germans stink. The Maori POW dies of the dry heaves. Edgar Derby steals something from the ruins, and is shot by a German. SIG100. SIG101. SIG102. SIG103. There are supposed to be 106 SIG in this text, which means that PG missed 3. Any reader worried about this can get over it.
Slaughterhouse-Five Part Six
This is part six of the chamblee54 disposable dissertation on Slaughterhouse-Five, a novel by Kurt Vonnegut. Parts one, two, three, four, and five are available for viewing, and gentle criticism. Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
This is a sunday morning in August. The sun is out, and the heat will be tough to take soon. PG is not in a good mood, which should surprise nobody. He realizes, on some level, that he should be grateful for a chore to give him something to do. The notes indicate that the first “so it goes” to be recorded in this segment will provide the opportunity to make cheap, smutty jokes.
Billy Pilgrim is on a plane that is going to crash. He knows the plane is going into the ski resort, but is helpless to do anything about it. A barbershop quartet is entertaining the optometrists, which should not be confused with optimism. The quartet is singing cheerful songs that are insulting to Polacks. This is another word that was popular in 1968, that is considered politically incorrect today.
Three days after arriving in Dresden, BP saw the public execution of a Pole. He was hanged for the crime of fucking a German woman. SIG067. The German lady was not inclined to disclose whether the Polish gentleman was, in fact, hung. Polack jokes were popular in 1968, when SF was written. PG did not know any Polish people, but thought the jokes were pretty funny.
The barbershop quartet is singing “Wait till the sun shines Nellie” when the airplane crashes into the side of a Vermont mountain. Everyone is killed, except for BP and the co-pilot. SIG068. The barbershop quartet performs at a party BP gave, which upsets BP. Time travel will do that to you. Especially when you are having brain surgery to save your life, and you go, uncontrollably, back to Schlachthöf-funf. The cart you are pushing is greased with the fat of dead animals. SIG069.
A young German named Werner Gluck was in charge of the POW. They were looking for the kitchen, and stumbled into a strange room. It was a communal shower, and was filled with naked German girls. They didn’t know to be wary when a Nazi said anything about taking a shower. The sight of these naked girls was educational for BP and Werner Gluck. Soon, the men found the kitchen. An old woman worked there. She was a war widow. SIG070. The old woman thought it peculiar that armies had young men, like BP and Werner Gluck, and old fogies like Edgar Derby. But she made sense of it all. “All the real soldiers are dead.” SIG071.
When BP was in pre-fire Dresden, he helped out in a factory that made malt syrup. BP helped himself to spoonfuls. His digestive system did not like malt syrup. This is the end of chapter seven.
At the start of chapter eight, the POW are entertained by Howard Campbell. He was discussed in a previous installment of this series, and in a later book by KV. In this scene, Mr. Campbell is recruiting American soldiers to go fight the Russians. A lot of people, including General George Patton, wanted to have it out with the Russkies after the Germans were dealt with. General Patton was in a convenient auto accident a few months after the war ended.
At some point during the remarks by Mr. Campbell, the air raid siren went off. Even though Dresden was thought to be unworthy of Allied attack, the POW went into an underground meat locker. A few dead horses were hanging from metal hooks. SIG072. Meanwhile, Howard Campbell stays upstairs, talking to the guards. It turns out he speaks excellent German, and was married to a German actress. The actress was killed, entertaining troops in the Crimea. SIG073.
The next night was the Allied bombing raid on Dresden. It is much discussed elsewhere. A lot of people were killed. SIG074. While hiding in a subterranean meat locker, BP time travels to his home in 1968. He is arguing with his well meaning daughter, who would like to murder Kilgore Trout.
This is when the reader gets to know the man behind the books. Kilgore Trout lives in Ilium NY. A horrible man, he makes money by supervising boys who deliver newspapers on bicycle. This is another concept that will seem novel to some… the custom of teenage boys having a paper route.
Kilgore Trout write a lot of books. BP is one of the few people who read them. One of these books was about a money tree. Twenty dollar bills grew on its branches. People would kill each other fighting over these twenties, and their blood would fertilize the tree. SIG075.
On November 13, 1787, Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter to William Smith. The letter is full of zesty quotes. “What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is it’s natural manure.” A few lines above that, Mr. Jefferson said “God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion.” Twenty years after he wrote this, Mr. Jefferson was President. He probably did not want to deal with a revolution.
BP met Kilgore Trout in 1964. This was around the time of the 18th anniversary of BP and Valencia Merble. The times are getting a bit fuzzy, which, acording to Tralfamadorian logic, is rational. The date of birth is anywhere from 1922 to 1925. BP was in the nuthouse in 1946, and somehow got married at the same time. At any rate, there was a big party for the anniversary, with Kilgore Trout invited. The other guests were charmed to have an author in their midst. One lady heard about a French chef that died. At the funeral they sprinkled herbs on his body. SIG076.
The barbershop quarter performed at the party, making BP physically ill. There are several possible reasons. Bad singing is must be considered. BP knew about the plane crash performance. Their were four guards in the meat locker during the Dresden raid. There were four Beatles, four horsemen of the apocalypse, four tops, and the four seasons. The barbershop quarter did a four seasons song, Sheeree, Sherree bayabee, Sher Sher Sherree, Sherree baby. It sounded better on the radio.
The next stop on the time travel was the meat locker in Dresden. A horrendous overbombing went on overhead, on the city with no war industries to bother. The fire storm was so intense that it ran out of oxygen. The German guards, except for the fab four in the meat locker, died. The German girls that BP saw naked in the shower died. Just about everyone in Dresden died. SIG077. SIG078. SIG079. The next day, Amerika sent planes to fly over the city, and shoot at people. They missed BP. SIG080. There was an inn outside of town, which somehow survived the raid. The inn took the guards and POW in, and gave them food. This is the end of chapter eight.
Slaughterhouse-Five Part Four
This is part four of a Vonnegutian appreciation of Slaughterhouse-Five. Parts one, two, and three are already available for your amusement. This segment will deal exclusively with Chapter five. It is 45 pages long. KV says “so it goes” 19 times, which will be inventoried in this chapter. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
This chapter is going to be a new adventure. PG bought a laptop, which is currently on the work table in the middle bedroom. Since PG sits down too much these days, the idea is to have a stand up work station. This is a work in progress. Today is the first time that PG has operated this machine without having in plugged in. Portable work capability is essential to the useful operation of a laptop.
At the start of chapter five, Billy Pilgrim is on Tralfamadore. This is a new experience for him. BP notices that, instead of stars, the Trallie sky is full of luminous spaghetti. Some speculate that this is the origin of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
BP asks for something to read. The only thing available was Valley of the Dolls, by Jacqueline Susann. This is a trashy book that was popular when SF was being written. 11 pages later, BP is a POW camp hospital. There, the only book for him is The Red Badge of Courage, by Stephen Crane. It is about the horrors of war. TRBOC is loved by the same high school english teachers who sneer at VOTD. The soldiers in TRBOC would have enjoyed the drugs available in VOTD.
The neat thing about time travel is you keep moving around. Soon, young BP is with his parents. They are on a ledge in the Grand Canyon. Someone asks the guide if anyone ever kills them self by jumping into the canyon. The guide says they have about three jumpers a year. SIG037.
Soon, BP is back in the war. His uniform was been deloused, and all the little critters in it are dead. SIG038. After the uniform is put on, BP goes to a German official, he writes the name “Billy Pilgrim” in a ledger book. At this point, BP is no longer MIA, but is elevated to POW status. SIG039.
The next step in the process is giving BP a dog tag. It was made by a Polish laborer, who was dead now. SIG040. The dog tag has a split in the middle. When the POW dies, the tag is split in two. One half will identify the grave. This is what happened to Edgar Derby. SIG041.
The Amerikan POW were ushered into a shed with British POW. The Yanks were enthusiastically greeted by British POW. The limeys had been captive since Dunkirk, and were having a fine time during the war. The Amerikans were greeted with rodomontades, a form of jollyoldchap speech, and given soap. Nobody officially knew what the soap was made of. SIG042.
At some point BP began to spazz out. He was taken to the six bed hospital, shot up with morphine, and given “The Red Badge of Courage.” Edgar Derby came in to look over him. SIG043.
Before long, BP was on the road again, or whatever thoroughfare you use when time traveling. The scene was the mental ward of a VA hospital. It was 1948. BP thought he was losing his mind. The mental state of BP may, or may not, have been improved by his nuthouse roommate, Eliot Rosewater, the star of a later KV novel, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater.
Mr. Rosewater is another curious character. He is a science fiction fan, and introduces BP to Kilgore Trout. This is another recurring character in KV stories. Mr. Trout is a resident of Ilium NY, and might be a member of the Iliumnati.
Both BP and Mr. Rosewater enjoyed negative attitudes. They came by them honestly. Mr. Rosewater shot a 14 year old, thinking he was a German soldier. SIG044. A Trallie would say not to worry, that the young man would have been a soldier if he had lived. As for BP, he was in an underground building when Dresden was eliminated. SIG045. In a couple of paragraphs, PG sees a dead glass of water on a table. SIG046
The dead glass of water was next to a living cigarette belonging to BP’s noname mother. Eliot Rosewater talks to her, while BP hides under the covers. We learn that Mr. Rosewater’s mother is dead, SIG047, and that BP’s father is dead, SIG048. KV says it is a chat between a “dumb, praying lady and the big, hollow man so full of loving echoes.”
Before long, BP is back in the POW hospital. Somebody comes in, and talks to Edgar Derby, who tells the story of his capture. Germans were tossing shells around, and lots of people got killed. SIG049. Soon, BP is back in the nuthouse. His mother is gone, and is replaced by his fiancee, Valencia Merble. The young lady is rich and fat. It will be a good, practical, move for BP to marry her. This is not the same thing as wanting to do it.
Before much longer, Edgar Rosewater talks about a book. It is an alternative version of the Jesus story, where the murder of Jesus is a bad thing because the son of G-d is well connected. SIG050. SIG051. The reaction of Valencia Merble is not recorded.
Before you can say Tralfamadore, BP is in a geodesic dome 446 quintillion miles from earth. The atmosphere outside the dome is cyanide. BP is on display, a source of amusement for the Trallies. There is a non functioning TV in the dome. Taped to the picture tube is a picture of Cowboys and Indians killing each other. SIG052. The book was written in an innocent age. Even the most enlightened author thought little about referring to Native Americans as Indians.
The dome had a refrigerator. On the door of the device was a picture of a “gay nineties” couple riding a bicycle built for two. This is another expression you don’t hear much anymore. PG did a little math, and realized that the time from 1898 to 1968 was the same amount of time as between 1945 and 2015. Seventy years just doesn’t last as long as it used to.
BP has some conversations with a Trally, which are frustrating to both parties. There is talk about reproduction, and talk about killing. This is the historic yin yang, life death, egg and sword duality.
The Trally tells BP how the universe will end. Some careless Trally has an accident. There is an experiment for flying saucer fuel, and the universe is blown up. SIG053. This is the middle point for the 106 SIG in SF. If PG misses any, he is not going to go back and look for it.
The time travel unsticks again, and BP is in the middle of his wedding night. It is the night his son, Robert, is conceived. Robert is a troubled youth. In the movie he expresses regret for his misdeeds, when BP is recovering from the plane crash. Robert goes on to be a Green Beret.
At least Robert was not in a German POW facility. BP wakes up in the hospital, and needs to piss. He finds an improvised latrine, which is in shoddy condition. Another Amerikan says that he *excreted* his brains out, without the critical detail, number one or number two. This excretionary Amerikan is KV, the author of this chronicle.
The conduct of Amerikans concerned the British and the Germans. An officer produced a document about this shoddy behavior, written by Howard Campbell. He was an Amerikan, who was working for the Germans. Mr. Campbell will hang himself, while awaiting trial after the war. SIG054. Mr. Campbell had the highest IQ of any war criminal put to death by hanging. SIG055.
Howard Campbell is the primary character in another book by KV, Mother Night. In this story the Schenectady NY native makes radio speeches for Germany, which are coded messages to the allies. He lives after the war. While Howard Campbell is notorious, he is never tried for treason. Amazon one star reviewer Roy E Pratt said “This was pointless. No real plot to it. Just a bunch of ramblings. I do not recommend it to anyone”
Some have speculated that “Mother Night” is similar to the journey of Jane Fonda. The story goes that the trip to Hanoi was made on behalf of the American government. Miss Fonda was rewarded with two Oscars, marriage to Ted Turner, and the hatred of chicken hawk patriots.
Meanwhile, back on Tralfamadore, Montana Wildhack has been installed in the dome. The idea is to create live action pornography for the entertainment, and education, of the Trallies. We soon learn why BP was chosen for this adventure. The dude has a porn star penis. Why did we learn this with Montana Wildhack, and not with Valencia Merble Pilgrim? Does BP really stand for Big Penis, with Billy Pilgrim conveniently grafted on later to appease the censors?
In the movie, Montana Wildhack was played by Valerie Perrine. Her birth name is Valerie Ritchie Perrine. If you google the name, the suggested searches include photos, measurement, imdb, and net worth. Other prominent roles for Miss Perrine include Honey, the wife of Lenny Bruce, Eve Teschmacher in Superman, and Delores Pierce in As the World Turns.
BP had a 1968 wet dream about Montana Wildhack. When he woke up, he dressed and went to work at the Ilium Optometry shop. A lady came in, with her 12 year old son. The ladies husband had been killed in Vietnam, in a fight over hill 875. SIG056. This is the end of chapter five.
OTP Now Means One True Pairing
“How can we make a good case for it?” You can start with humility. You can show respect for people who are not as “radical” as you. Last, you should demonstate that this workshop will be a safe space. This will be difficult, when you consider this:” I’m willing to sacrifice the comfort of white folks in order to work towards the incredibly radical idea of a space with less white supremacy. ” ~ I don’t think this is a safe space, either for honest discussion beforehand, or the event itself. I have numerous objections, but don’t feel comfortable expressing them. It is just easier to stand aside, and let other people do what they want. Since I don’t participate in alcohol sale events, I will not be affected. BTW, has anyone considered the irony of a “radical” group raising money by selling alcohol in a bar? As for facilitating this event through SQFP, they had a TPOC only cookout at their recent weekend. What does that say about inclusiveness? ~ ” in many cases people use silence as a way to express discomfort without confrontation” . Perhaps I should have been clearer. I referred to facebook discussions. It is *clear* that facebook is not a safe space. If I am not interested in an event, it is easier to stay away. ~ ” in many cases people use silence as a way to express discomfort without confrontation” . Perhaps I should have been clearer. I asked whether this facebook discussion is a safe space. ~ When you click on 30+ Resources to Help White Americans Learn About Race and Racism, there is the inevitable popup ad. It reads “The EVERYDAY SELF-LOVE COURSE Free yourself from toxic self-talk and build a daily practice of self-love JOIN TODAY SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE ~ According to this list OTP now means “One True Pairing” ~ @BettyBowers #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter “OK God, about your Bible. So many contradictions! Get an editor. And SLAVERY? Really? And lose some begets.” ~ @postcrunk all lives matter why isn’t there a straight pride parade or a white history month stop playing the race card and what does marginalized mean @chamblee54 “why isn’t there a straight pride parade” there is nobody to do the decorations ~ Your frustration at human ineptitude is probably mild compared to what the cats think. ~ the top search engine terms at chamblee54 today: truman capote, judy garland last photo, international disturbed people’s day, worst conserrvatives in history ~ @whittmman I’ll admit that when I first heard of FriendFeed I thought it was an ingenious method of disposing of the remains of murdered relatives. ~ From Gamergate to Cecil the lion: internet mob justice is out of control ~ The dirty old man was drinking with a married couple. When the husband passed out, DOM started to flirt with the wife. “Why don’t you move to L.A. You can get a job as a waitress and support me” ~ @bungdan Reported for years from ME and SEA. Still affiliated with the Christian Science Monitor but also moving on. Don’t ever buy a pan you can’t put in the oven. ~ The same reason they never worry about fuel. ~ Is Auntie Nym going to get back together with Uncle Compoop? ~ A free Bible on your phone, tablet, and computer. YouVersion is a simple, ad-free Bible that brings God’s Word into your daily life. ~ topics on atlanta twitter : 1- #NationalGirlfriendDay 2 -Stone Mountain 3 – #BobbiKristina 6 – #PraiseInThePark ~ #MySpiritAnimal was killed by a rogue dentist ~ It is more important to practice kindness and respect, than to believe. ~ The fashion industry is a cesspool of cutthroat capitalism and moneylender malpractice. It is tough to say who makes money on those sweatshop produced shoes. ~ “Facebook is a place for careful discussion and acknowledging other people’s points of view.” The quote marks are important. ~ @BagofDoosh’s Tweets are protected. Only confirmed followers have access to @BagofDoosh’s Tweets and complete profile. Click the “Follow” button to send a follow request. ~ @postcrunk your reality is interfering with my convenient worldview ~ David Crosby retweeted your tweet. Luther Mckinnon @chamblee54 @FoxH2181 @thedavidcrosby David Crosby on CSN at 24:01 “We douche it together” ~ a vile commented was deleted per request of the commenter ~ pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”. ~ selah
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