Heteroflexible
There was a discussion group in a Buckhead home, and a young lady with spiked shoes spoke. (She does not play soccer in those shoes.) After a word about the monagamish relationship with her bf, she described herself as heteroflexible.
There are words that cause brain damage when you first encounter them. Heteronormative comes to mind. After the group, PG asked Mr. Google about heteroflexible. It turns out Salon has a dandy feature on this word. It might surprise you that this piece was written in 2000. The tide of heteroflexibility has been slowly creeping in for twelve years.
There is nothing like teaching college students to make a person feel hopelessly out-of-date. This fact first hit me at the tender age of 30. I was teaching what I thought was the hippest version of sociology imaginable. As part of my haute hipness, I had included readings on Elvis Presley. None of the students, however, had the faintest idea who Elvis Presley was. One thought that he might have been an actor. Another said she thought he had invented a diet because he had always been fat.
The generation gap between the students and me was bad enough, but then my teaching assistant, a nice man who was neither as young as they nor as old as I, decided to help me communicate more effectively the King’s cultural significance. “Elvis Presley,” he explained to the students, “was someone our parents used to listen to. He sang this stuff called rock ‘n’ roll. It came before rap music.” The students nodded their heads, as if they had just remembered that rap music did not always exist. I shook mine, having realized for the first time that Elvis really was dead. …
But now it’s not just popular culture that divides us. It’s sexuality as well. Oh I don’t mean straight, gay or bi. I don’t even mean queer. What I’m talking about here is heteroflexibility. If you don’t know what that is, it’s time to admit that you’re as out of it as I am. Heteroflexibility is the newest permutation of sexual identity. According to my students, a person uses heteroflexibility in the first person, as in “I’m heteroflexible.” This means that the person has or intends to have a primarily heterosexual lifestyle, with a primary sexual and emotional attachment to someone of the opposite sex. But that person remains open to sexual encounters and even relationships with persons of the same sex. ….
My reaction was predictable. I was ashamed of my own inability to stay current, and I was also deeply pissed. How could these kids go and invent yet another identity when “we” solved that problem for them in the 1980s and ’90s? The word they were looking for was “queer” or even “bisexual,” damnit. I was angry that they would throw out the politics and the struggles of naming that had come before them. And what did they throw it out for? A monstrosity of a word, a mix of sexology and yoga practices.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This was written like William Gibson.
Eleventh Hour
In less than an hour, it is probably going to be over. The state of Georgia is hell bent on poisoning Warren Hill. The Guardian has a feature, Ten reasons why Georgia should not execute Warren Hill. Nine of the ten reasons relate to the diminished learning capability of Mr. Hill. The tenth one mentions the fact that the family of Joseph Handspike is opposed to the execution.
The comments at the Guardian have a charmer. John Moore says “mentally disabled or not; he needs to go. he has already killed two people. This whole metally retarded thing is well… Retarded. Stick him with the needle already.”
Georgia seems to favor alternating black and white prisoners when it comes to excutions. Perhaps that is why Andrew Cook is going to get strapped into the goner gurney friday night. Governor Deal will get two notches on his desk.
Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
UPDATE: With 21 minutes to go, “#WarrenHill gets stay of execution from 11th Circuit and Georgia Court of Appeals” He had already been given Ativan as a pre-execution sedative. The stay of execution might be lifted tonight. HT to Bill Rankin.
Andrew Cook, Michele Cartegena, Grant Hendrickson
On February 21, the state of Georgia is scheduled to execute G.D.C. prisoner number 0000963560, Andrew Allen Cook. Mr. Cook was convicted of killing Michelle Cartagena, 19, and Grant Hendrickson, 20. The star witness at his trial was his father, F.B.I. agent John Cook.
There seems little doubt that Mr. Cook was the killer. The inevitable death row appeals made the traditional argument that the counsel in the first trial was insufficient. On March 10, 2010, the courts ruled that the execution could proceed.
In 2002, a lower court overturned Cook’s death sentence in the ambush shooting of Grant Hendrickson, 22, and Michele Cartagena, 19. . … The lower court found that Cook’s court-appointed defense attorney, Kevin A. Wangerin, failed to present evidence of mental illness that might have spared Cook from the death sentence.
In February at the Georgia Supreme Court, assistant Attorney General Beth Attaway Burton argued that the lower court incorrectly applied the standard of defense competence. She said allowing the jury to hear testimony on Cook’s mental state would likely have hurt the defense. Attorney Thomas Howard Dunn, representing Cook’s appeal, said several psychiatrists found that Cook suffered from major depression and suicidal tendencies, beginning at age 9, and he said Wangerin failed to ensure the psychiatric experts who evaluated Cook were aware of this.
In today’s ruling the Supreme Court concluded Cook’s lawyer made a strategic decision not to offer mental health evidence because it would have hurt his case. “In light of the negative evidence contained within the mental health records concerning Cook’s criminal history and the experts’ conclusions regarding malingering and manipulation by Cook, we conclude, as a matter of law, that counsel’s strategic choice to forgo the presentation of mental health evidence was not unreasonable based on the information they actually obtained,” the opinion states.
The Court opinion on the habeus corpus petition can cause brain damage to non legally minded people. Here is the court’s version of what happened to Miss Cartagena, Mr. Hendrickson, and the Cooks.
At approximately midnight on January 2, 1995, Mercer University students Hendrickson and Cartagena were parked on a small peninsula known as “the Point,” which juts into Lake Juliette in Monroe County, north of Macon. Cook drove onto the Point, parked his Honda CRX near Hendrickson’s and Cartagena’s car, and shot them. Cook fired fourteen times with an AR-15 rifle from a distance of about forty feet and then moved closer and fired five times with a nine millimeter Ruger handgun. Hendrickson and Cartagena were each hit multiple times and killed. Cook then went to the passenger side of the victims’ car, removed Cartagena, and dragged her about 40 feet. He partially undressed her, knelt between her legs, and spit on her. Cook then drove away. The murders were completely random: Cook did not know the victims and there was no interaction between Cook and the victims before he killed them.
Several people parking or camping around Lake Juliette heard the shots, and the murders were reported to the police the next morning when some campers found the bodies. A couple parked near the Point when the shots were fired said they saw a 1980s-model Honda CRX parked near the entrance to Lake Juliette. Later, they saw headlights going onto the Point, heard shots, and observed the CRX speeding away from the Point. The police recovered .223 caliber and nine millimeter bullets and shell casings from the crime scene, and the State Crime Lab reported that the weapons used in the murders were probably an AR-15 rifle and a nine millimeter Ruger handgun. There was saliva mixed with tobacco dried on Cartagena’s leg, and the Crime Lab extracted DNA from the saliva. The police began looking for suspects who chewed tobacco, matched the DNA taken from the saliva, and owned or had access to a Honda CRX, an AR-15 rifle, and a nine millimeter Ruger pistol.
The investigation lasted almost two years. Many people were interviewed and dozens of suspects were excluded after they submitted blood or saliva samples to the Crime Lab, or allowed their weapons to be examined by a state firearms expert. In the fall of 1996, GBI Agent Randy Upton began tracking the purchasers of AR-15 rifles in the Macon area. He obtained a list of 108 people who bought AR-15 rifles from 1985 to 1995 from one of Macon’s most popular gun stores, and he started calling them and asking if they would give saliva samples and allow examinations of their rifles. On November 27, 1996, Agent Upton contacted Cook. Agent Upton told Cook he was conducting an investigation into the Lake Juliette murders and that Cook owned an AR-15 rifle in 1994 and 1995. Cook replied that he had “gotten rid of” his AR-15 in April 1994. Agent Upton stated that that was not possible because the records show that Cook did not buy his AR-15 until August 1994. Cook then became defensive and stated that his father was an FBI agent, and he did not have to cooperate. Agent Upton asked for a saliva sample, and Cook said he needed to talk with his father before giving a saliva sample. The conversation ended.
Agent Upton learned that Cook pawned his AR-15 rifle back to the gun store in May 1995, five months after the murders. The police also discovered that Cook had an acquaintance purchase a nine millimeter Ruger handgun for him in December 1993 at the same gun store, because Cook was too young to buy it himself. Cook sold the Ruger to a friend in July 1995. The police sought to obtain these weapons from their current owners. They also learned that Cook owned a 1987 Honda CRX at the time of the murders.
One of Cook’s friends, who worked with Cook at a diaper factory, testified that in late November 1996 he and Cook had a conversation about “the worst thing you ever did.” Cook said he had killed someone with an AR-15. The friend did not believe Cook, but asked why he did it. Cook replied that he did it “to see if I could do it and get away with it.” Cook refused to provide any more details. The friend testified that the following day at work, Cook received a call on his pager, and left his work area to return the call. Cook returned 15 minutes later and was “as white as a ghost.” Cook said “I got to go,” and spit the tobacco he had been chewing into a trash can. Cook said it was the GBI who had called and they wanted to question him about what he and the friend had talked about the day before, and test his saliva. He said, regarding the saliva, “that’s a DNA test right there, so they got my ass.” Another friend testified that Cook told him in late November 1996 that he needed to leave town because it was “getting hot.”
After going to Cook’s home and not finding him, Agent Upton called Cook’s father, John Cook, on December 4, 1996. John Cook was an FBI agent and had been an FBI agent for 29 years. Agent Upton said he needed to ask Cook a few questions regarding the Lake Juliette murders, and asked John Cook for assistance in locating him. John Cook said he could probably contact his son. John Cook, who knew about the case from the media, testified that he did not think his son was a suspect.
John Cook paged his son several times and at 11:00 p.m. Cook returned his calls. John Cook told his son the GBI was looking for him concerning the Lake Juliette murders and asked him if he knew anything about them. Cook replied, “Daddy, I can’t tell you, you’re one of them . . . you’re a cop.” John Cook said he was his father first and, believing his son may have been a witness, asked Cook if he was there during the shooting. Cook said yes. John Cook asked his son if he saw who shot them, and Cook replied yes. Although he still thought “maybe he was just there and saw who shot them,” John Cook asked his son if he shot them. After a pause, Cook said yes. Cook told his father he was fishing at Lake Juliette and had an argument with the male victim. The male victim threatened him with a gun, and Cook shot the victims in self-defense. Cook realized that the male victim had only threatened him with a pellet gun, and he threw the pellet gun into the woods. John Cook urged his son to go to the authorities but Cook said he was going to “just disappear.” John Cook worried that his son was going to kill himself.
John Cook was stunned by what his son had told him. After speaking with his wife, he called his friend and FBI supervisor, Tom Benson, who was at a conference in New Orleans. He and Benson decided that Benson would fly back to Georgia the next day and the two men would go to Monroe County Sheriff John Bittick, and John Cook would tell the sheriff what his son had told him. They arrived at the Monroe County sheriff’s office at about 4:00 p.m. on December 5, 1996.
At about 11:45 a.m. on December 5, 1996, Cook was arrested by a game warden for shooting deer and turkeys out of season and giving a false name. He was taken to the Jones County sheriff’s office. Agent Upton, who did not know about Cook’s admission to his father, learned that Cook was being held in Jones County for game violations. He drove to Jones County to question Cook about the Lake Juliette murders. When Agent Upton introduced himself and asked to speak with him about the murders, Cook blurted, “it’s been two years since the murders and you guys don’t have anything; I had a CRX; I had an AR-15; I had a Ruger P89; you guys are going to try to frame me.” Cook added, “get my father and get me a lawyer and I’ll tell you what you want to hear.” The interview terminated. Agent Upton subsequently learned from Sheriff Bittick that John Cook was in Monroe County, and that Cook had made an admission to his father the night before. Agent Upton transported Cook to Monroe County.
After Cook arrived at the Monroe County sheriff’s office, John Cook asked Sheriff Bittick if he could speak with his son, and the sheriff agreed. Cook and his father had a private meeting. Both men were crying and John Cook hugged his son. John Cook told his son he did not believe that he told the whole truth on the phone. Cook replied that there was no pellet gun, that “I pulled in, the car was already there, and I just stopped and shot them.” Cook then dragged the female victim from the car to make it look like an assault or robbery. John Cook testified at trial about his son’s admissions.
The police recovered from the current owners the AR-15 rifle and nine millimeter Ruger handgun that Cook owned in January 1995. Ballistics testing revealed that they were the murder weapons. Cook’s DNA matched the DNA extracted from the saliva on Cartagena’s leg; the state DNA expert testified that only one in twenty thousand Caucasians would exhibit the same DNA profile.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The images are Union soldiers from the War Between the States. This story was written like H. P. Lovecraft.
UPDATE: The fishwrapper reports “The State Board of Pardons and Paroles Wednesday denied Andrew Allen Cook’s request that they commute his death sentence to life without parole, stopping his execution set for Thursday evening for a 1995 double murder.” (?) However, the Georgia Court of Appeals stopped the execution of Warren Hill, scheduled for Tuesday, because of concerns about the method of execution. Stay tuned. UPDATE TWOAndrew Cook died at 11:22pm February 21, 2013.
Two Executions In One Week
The state of Georgia is going to execute two men this week. Being strapped onto the goner gurney does not mean you are a threat to society. You reach this point of no return because the various lawyers have done everything to exhaust the appeal possibilities. This does not speak well for our style of justice.
The case of Warren Hill is puzzling. The family of his victim does not want him executed. The IQ of Mr. Hill is estimated to be between 69 and 77. Why is there such a mad rush to poison this man?
The last execution by Georgia was Troy Davis. It turned into a circus. His guilt is a good possibility, but there was lots of room for doubt. When the state decides it wants to poison someone, millions of dollars worth of billable hours will be exhausted.
This blog has written about the death penalty on several occasions. Some of the crimes are “fist clinchers” … you read what they did, and you get mad. The problem is, these are not always the cases that get the overdose of pentobarbital. It is a bit of a mystery which cases wind up with a notch on the Governor’s desk.
This execution will be the first with a new method of poisoning the guest of honor. The old way was a three drug cocktail. Unfortunately, the manufacturer of one of the drugs did not approve of it’s use for killing prisoners. The modern method involves a deliberate overdose of pentobarbital. While this sounds a bit crude, it is probably more humane than the “Kentucky protocol.”
The opinion here is that capital punishment is strong medicine. Our current system of justice is not smart enough to use it wisely. Given the political climate in Georgia, the death penalty is here to stay. It is a sad state of affairs. It will exhaust your faith in government.
UPDATEPictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
Things People Used To Say
A blogger named gartalker has a list of words that are becoming extinct. Maybe it is a southern thing, but PG still hears supper used. The rest of the list is amusing, and can make you feel old…even if your age is not an interstate speed limit.
A term I haven’t heard in a long time, and thinking about ‘fender skirts’ started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice like curb feelers. Any body remember them. And steering knobs.’ (AKA) suicide knob, Neckers Knobs. Since I’d been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first. Any kids will probably have to find some elderly person over 50 to explain some of these terms, like fender skirts.
Continental kits They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.
Emergency Brakes At some point ‘parking brake’ became the proper term. I miss the hint of drama that went with ‘emergency brake.’
Clutch – Foot Feed – Dimmer Switch. I’m sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the ‘foot feed.’ Many today do not even know what a clutch is or that the dimmer switch used to be on the floor.
Running Board Didn’t you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the ‘running board’ up to the house? You felt like a real G-man. Heck, most of you most likely don’t know what a G-man is.
Store-bought Here’s a phrase heard all the time in my youth but never anymore -’store-bought.’ Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. However, once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.
Coast to Coast Coast to coast’ is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. Now we take the term ‘world wide’ for granted. I guess that soon it will be Universal.
Wall to Wall On a smaller scale, ‘wall-to-wall’ was once a magical term in our homes. In the ’50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.
In A Family Way – P G When’s the last time you heard the quaint phrase ‘in a family way?’ It’s hard to imagine that the word ‘pregnant’ was once considered a little too graphic, a little too clinical for use in polite company, so we had all that talk about stork visits and ‘being in a family way’ or simply ‘expecting. The more sophisticated town girls called it P G. (That is not the source of a pen name.)
Brassiere Apparently, ‘brassiere’ is a word no longer in usage. I said it once to my daughter when she was a teen and she cracked up. I guess it’s just ‘bra’ now. ‘Unmentionables’ probably wouldn’t be understood at all.
Picture Show I always loved going to the picture show. In fact, I have written about it in this very blog. I considered ‘movie’ an affectation.
Rat Fink Most of these words go back to the ’50s, but here is a pure-’60s word I came across the other day – ‘rat fink.’ Ooh, what a nasty put-down! These two words could cut like a sharp knife.
Percolator- DynaFlo – Elevtrolux – Spectra Vision Here is a word I miss – ’percolator.’ That was just a fun word to say. What was it replaced with? ‘Coffee maker.’ How dull. Mr. Coffee.
I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro. Words like ‘DynaFlow and‘Electrolux..’ (spell check suggestion: Electrocute)Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now with‘SpectraVision!’ (PG has a percolator in his camping gear. It works well over a propane stove, but the coffee is way too hot.)
Lumbago- Castor Oil -Food for thought – Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago? Nobody complains of that anymore. Maybe that’s what castor oil cured, because I never hear mothers threatening kids with castor oil anymore.
Supper Some words aren’t gone, but are definitely on the endangered list. The one that grieves me most, ’supper.’ Now everybody says ‘dinner.’ Save a great word. Invite someone to supper.
Chimney One last thing, when I was a kid we passed a neighbors house. They had a T V antenna strapped to their Chimney. It was a cold day and smoke was bellowing out the old leaning stack. My mother said, “Look there can’t afford butane to keep warm but they got a television set.” Yes, when I was kid a sure sign of poverty was smoke coming from your chimney. Now you know you are in an up scale neighborhood. A fireplace in the den is a luxury.
This is a repost. The pictures are from The Library of Congress. Iwritelike compares this to the style of David Foster Wallace. Gartalker is still in the blogging business.
Random Stranger
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: helllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppppppppppp
Stranger: im bored
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: omg im gonna cry
Stranger: that poor tortoise is gonna die )):
Stranger: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME??@?!?!?!
Stranger: NOW IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK
You: but we can make soup from her
Stranger: you btich
Stranger: hes a boy
Stranger: i spelled bitch wrong
Stranger: woops
You: ok so we still make soup from him
Stranger: THATS CANABILISM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: bc im hungry and turtles are in season
You: how did it get on his back?
Stranger: I kicked it
You: what did he do to you?
Stranger: raped my pet rabbit
You: was that the rabbit he was going to have a race with?
Stranger: no that was her husband
You: sounds like an unnatural act would that turtle make good soup?
Stranger: yesh
You: is there any other way to eat turtle than making soup? Maybe a turtle salad
Stranger: or flambeau
You: are you a turtle?
Stranger: no
You: good i hate talking to turtles
Stranger: me too
You: thank you for your help
Stranger: of course
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: mmm… let me think
You: thinking is a dangerous activity
Stranger: well you are right
Stranger: but
Stranger: some times if you dont think enought you may die
You: getting back to the turtle
Stranger: ok
Stranger: it is a selfish person
Stranger: who dont care about other people
Stranger: well, in the lines you write, im the selfish guy
You: or maybe you prefer shrimp, and you are a shellfish guy
Stranger: hahahahahahahaha
Stranger: well i like shrimps, so, yes maby im a shelfish ;)
Stranger: and what are you?
Stranger: maby an owl
You: i am betting on the rabbit to win
You: and letting the turtle lay on his back increases the chance of that happening
Stranger: well, yes
Stranger: how ever, the rabbit is faster than the turtle
You: and tastier, and reproduces much much more
Stranger: lolol
You: i gotta run thanks for your help+
Stranger: no problem ;)
Stranger: run fast!
You: slow and steady wins the race
Stranger: that is how the tale end’s, so…?
Stranger: the turtle wins and the rabbit loose
Stranger: just for curosity, are you male or female?
You: male
Stranger: i think so lol
Stranger: well, see you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Voight-Kampff Test
A facebook friend posted this: “New hobby: giving chat bots a Voight-Kampff test. It goes something like this: “hey stud u wnt 2 see my webcam XOXOX???” “A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?”
The VK test is designed to determine if someone is a human being, or another critter imitating a human. Once, Batman had a simple test for telling if someone was human or robot. He told the being a super funny joke. BM knew that robots don’t have a sense of humor. When the body inhabitant did not respond to the humor, BM knew it was a robot.
OK Cupid has a device, The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test. “A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies…or does it? Can you prove your human, or even “more than human”? Pass, and you’ll be given your freedom; fail, and you just might get “aired out”. Reaction time is a factor in this.
The quiz is a number of multiple choice questions about the movie “Blade Runner”. Here are two.
6- What film had Harrison Ford finished before he began working on Blade Runner?
The Empire Strikes Back ~ Mosquito Coast
he was still working as a carpenter, like Jesus ~ Raiders of the Lost Ark
9- What does the Voight-Kampff machine register?
sexual preference ~ it’s a lie detector ~ psychic ability ~ empathy
There are 45 questions. PG has never seen “Blade Runner”, so he gave what seemed like reasonable answers. There was an opportunity to sign up for OK Cupid. PG chose to get the answers only.
Your result for The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test … Nexus 4.5. It’s too bad she won’t live, but then again who does? If you know what a Spinner is, and understand the implications of memory transfer, you are on your way! But you still have some distance to go. Mabey you can be trusted with designing eyes for “skin jobs”. You scored 43% on Blade points, higher than 8% of your peers.
This was written like Isaac Asimov. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The test is not connected to actor Jon Voight.
Message In The Cheesecake
The Boston Tea Party Story
For better or worse (it’s ok to curse), the tea party is a part of the scene. The seminal event was the Boston Tea Party in 1775. The first post below is a look at what really happened in Boston harbor. It is tough to discern truth from fable at a distance of 236 years, but we will try. The tea party metaphor gets worked over in another post, would you like a refill?
The second part is a look at the phrase “founding fathers”. This phrase is “liberally” sprinkled into rhetoric of all persuasions. This author sees a square peg being forced into round holes.
In the first year of the Obama regime, America has seen the rise of the “Tea Party”. These affairs are usually right wing, and have lots of clever signs. The general idea is that taxes are too high, government is too big, and that the people need to do something.
The namesake event was the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, crowds of people (some dressed as Mohawks) went on board the Dartmouth, the Eleanor, and the Beaver. The crowds threw overboard 342 chests, containing 90,000 pounds of tea. The crowds were unhappy because the East India Company was importing the tea into America, with a 3 pence per pound tax.
A website called listverse plays the contrarian. (spell check suggestions: contraction, contraption) According to them : “American colonists did not protest the Tea Tax with the Boston Tea Party because it raised the price of tea. The American colonists preferred Dutch tea to English tea. The English Parliament placed an embargo on Dutch tea in the colonies, so a huge smuggling profession developed. To combat this, the English government LOWERED the tax on tea so that the English tea would be price competitive with Dutch teas. The colonists (actually some colonists led by the chief smugglers) protested by dumping the tea into Boston Harbor.”
According to Wikipedia, the Dutch tea had been smuggled into the colonies for some time. The Dutch government had given their companies a tax advantage, which allowed them to sell their product cheaper. Finally, the British government cut their taxes, but kept a tax in place. The “Townsend Tax” was to be used to pay governing colonial officials, and make them less dependent on the colonists.
In Charleston, New York, and Philadelphia, the tea boats were turned around, and returned to England with their merchandise. In Massachusetts, Governor Thomas Hutchinson insisted that the tea be unloaded. Two of the Governor’s sons were tea dealers, and stood to make a profit from the taxed tea. There are also reports that the smugglers were in the crowd dumping tea into the harbor.
The photogenic tea party movement seems to be destined to stay a while. The question remains, how much does it have to do with the namesake event?
People often try to justify their opinions by saying that the “founding fathers” agree with them. They often are guilty of selective use of history. A good place to start would be to define what we mean by the phrase founding fathers.
The FF word was not used before 1916. A senator from Ohio named Warren Harding used the phrase in the keynote address of the 1916 Republican convention. Mr. Harding was elected President in 1920, and is regarded as perhaps the most corrupt man to ever hold the office.
There are two groups of men who could be considered the founding fathers. (The fathers part is correct. Both groups are 100% male.) The Continental Congress issued the Declaration of Independence, which cut the ties to England. Eleven years later, the Constitutional Convention wrote the Constitution that governs America today. While the Continental Congress was braver than the Constitution writers (We must hang together, or we will hang separately), the Constitution is the document that tells our government how to function. For the purposes of this feature, the men of the Constitutional Convention are the founding fathers.
Before moving on, we should remember eight men who signed the Declaration of Independence, and later attended the Constitutional Convention. Both documents were signed by George Clymer, Benjamin Franklin, Robert Morris, George Read, Roger Sherman, and James Wilson. George Wythe left the Constitutional Convention without signing the new document. (He needed to take care of his sick wife. Mr. Wythe later supported ratification.) Elbridge Gerry (the namesake of gerrymandering) refused to sign the Constitution because it did not have a Bill of Rights. Both Mr. Wythe, and Mr. Gerry signed the Declaration of Independence.
The original topic of this discussion was about whether the founding fathers owned slaves. Apparently, PG is not the only person to wonder about this. If you go to google, and type in “did the founding fathers”, the first four answers are owned slaves, believed in G-d, have a death wish, and smoke weed.
The answer, to the obvious question, is an obvious answer. Yes, many of the founding fathers owned slaves. A name by name rundown of the 39 signatories of the Constitution was not done for this blogpost. There is this revealing comment at wiki answers about the prevalence of slave ownership. “John Adams, his second cousin Samuel Adams, Alexander Hamilton, and Thomas Paine were the only men who are traditionally known as founding fathers who did not own slaves. Benjamin Franklin was indeed a founder of the Abolitionist Society, but he owned two slaves, named King and George. Franklin’s newspaper, the Pennsylvania Gazette routinely ran ads for sale or purchase of slaves.
Patrick Henry is another founding father who owned slaves, although his speeches would make one think otherwise. Despite his “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech, he had up to 70 slaves at a time, apologizing a few times along the way, saying he knew it was wrong, that he was accountable to his God, and citing the “general inconvenience of living without them.”
Patrick Henry was a star of the Revolution, but not present at the Constitutional Convention. The author of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, was in Europe during the convention. Mr. Jefferson not only owned slaves, he took one to be his mistress and kidsmama.
One of the more controversial features of the Constitution is the 3/5 rule. Here are the original words “Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.” In other words, a slave was only considered to be 60% of a person.
That seems rather harsh. The truth is, it was a compromise. The agricultural southern states did not want to give up their slaves. The northern states did not want to give up Congressional representation. This was the first of many compromises made about slavery, ending with the War between the States. This webpage goes into more detail about the nature of slavery at the start of the U.S.A.
The research for this feature turned up a rather cynical document called The myth of the “Founding Fathers” . It is written by Adolph Nixon. He asks : “most rational persons realize that such political mythology is sheer nonsense, but it begs the question, who were the Founding Fathers and what makes them so great that they’re wiser than you are?”
Mr. Nixon reviews the 39 white men who signed the Constitution. He does not follow the rule, if you can’t say anything nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all. Of the 39, 12 were specified as slave owners, with many tagged as “slave breeders”.
The Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, have served America well. However it was intended, it was written so that it could be amended, and to grow with the young republic. It has on occasion been ignored (when was the last time Congress declared war?). However fine a document it is, it was created by men. These were men of their time, who could not have foreseen the changes that America has gone through. Those who talk the most about the founding fathers often know the least about them.
A big thank you goes to wikipedia Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. This repost was written like H. P. Lovecraft.
Cracker
The Greatest Thirty Three Words

this is the greatest
thirty three words ever written
adjectives with attitude
participles dangling in the
idiomatic obsolescence
metaphysical metaphors
volcanic vowels powering verbs
raging in ironic perpetuity
read this
change your life

Mel Brooks And Buddy Rich

When Mel Brooks was a young man
Buddy Rich was a star
The Star showed the young man drumming secrets
When Blazing Saddles was a hit
There was a party to celebrate
Mr. Rich told Mr. Brooks
You could have been a good drummer











































































































































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