Chamblee54

Maybe the headline should say indicate instead of prove. ~ “Suggests.” And actually, it’s the researchers who are “positing” the explanation, not their study. ~ There are conspiracy theories about the death of William McKinley. It was roughly one hundred years before nine eleven. ~ Offer available to U.S. residents only while supplies last. Limit one free pin per household/address. ~ @MZHemingway @MattWalshBlog in this episode we get tired of #ferguson ignore #gaza and two lady tweeters become “the media” ~ It is easy to photograph a church sign, and rearrange the letters to say what you like. ~ You know, I came here for bad jokes… But I left here with a little knowledge. ~ When I was about three years old I told a variation of this joke all the time. Reading it just now, I finally realized its a lot funnier than I originally thought. ~ “I think you said the joke wrong.” “I know what I said.” ~ Thank you so much, I’m glad I am not the only one that thinks this joke is hilarious. All my friends just think I am odd. Will you all be my new friends? ~ I told this joke to a random stranger once, they just turned without saying a word and walked away. I, on the other hand, could not stop laughing. ~ The thought of you just stopping random people on the street to tell then this makes me laugh more than the joke but hey, you did your part. Good job! ~ For those of you who aren’t American, coupe is pronounced coop here, and also a sedan is a saloon. ~ Oh my god. I have to tell that one to my 9 year old when I get home… ~ My 3 year old pterodactyl is gonna feel slightly offended when I tell him. ~ This one is better if you keep dragging it out as much as you can, then suddenly it just ends. ~ Actually red paint gets its color from iron oxide, whereas blue paint gets its color from copper. Iron oxide has a very distinct metallic smell, causing red and blue paint to smell very different I worked at a paint company for 12 years. And you guys, watching paint dry isn’t that bad… you just gotta love what you do ~ Telling jokes with you is about as much fun as watching paint dry. ~ The blimp used to fly directly over my attic apartment. It sounded like a lawn mower. ~ Two cats are swimming across a river. One’s name is “One two three” and the other’s name is “Un deux trois.” Who makes it across? One two three, because Un deux trois cat sank. Had to ask my roommate taking French for help on this one, because I didn’t know what came after trois. For anyone who doesn’t get it, un deux trois is one two three in French, and quatre cinq is four five (pronounced cat sank in English) ~ But… wouldn’t the navy be anti-pirate? You know, government and stuff? ~ What is a pirate’s favorite letter? R? You’d think that, but his first love will always be the C It’s actually the P. Without it they’re irate. ~ What’s the difference between a can of tuna, a piano, and a glue stick? You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna. (when asked about the glue stick) I knew you’d get stuck on that. ~ There is an arab saying … he who speaks the truth must keep one foot in the saddle. ~ You’re a smart man, Phillip, and you often post smart and quirky things that are worth reading. This isn’t one of them. ~ You confuse TMZ for TMI. ~ Actually, the police would be caught in NASCAR traffic. ~ SHARE this to expose the corruption. ~ Don’t people catch onto Zamora being a hispanic last name? ~ After Troy Aikman, this will be nothing new. ~ *NO SHOWS AND CANCELLATIONS – WE HAVE BEGUN ENFORCING A STRICT POLICY REGARDING NO SHOWS AND CANCELLATIONS. IF YOU DO NOT SHOW UP OR DO NOT GIVE NOTICE OF AN EMERGENCY WITH DOCUMENTED PROOF, YOU WILL BE TAKEN OFF OUR LISTS FOR WORK AND AUDITIONS PERMANENTLY, FOR THIS AND ANY OTHER PROJECT. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR REFLECTS POORLY ON ALL OF YOU, AND ATLANTA’S BACKGROUND ACTORS AS A WHOLE. ~ Is he invited to the halloween party? ~ I wouldn’t want to freak out the evil aliens on the knoll. They might mistake me for an person and throw fire at me. ~ This episode is sponsored by a popup ad. “Scientific Breakthrough. Is this the end of Viagra.” ~ You say the Osteens are heretics, and they might be. Instead of burning them at the stake, you condemn them in a post sponsored by … “Vydox … originally formulated to help the adult industry.” ~ Lighten up. ~ One post is Christian on Christian insults. Another post is comedian on comedian insults. One group knows that it is entertainers, with incidental social impact. The christians think they are saying important things. In truth, they are in show biz just like the comedians. I just thought the two posts were similar. Also, there were some more comments in Chamblee54, about the Matt Walsh/ Mo/ Joel Osteen post. ~ @sydscifi @mikeliberation when you post the photo you are supporting wilson story people will see the picture and not read the text ~ Private convo of D. Sterling gets 1000x publicity of J Rivers comments on Gaza ~ Yoko Ono singing is a nightmare. ~ asking an octopus to help tie your shoes ~ pictures from The Library of Congress. ~ selah

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a very fine restaurant.”I’m sorry,” says the maître d’, after scrutinizing the group, “You can’t come in here without a Thai. ”
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
So, a penguin is driving down the road in his truck. His truck starts to sputter, so he pulls into a town and finds a mechanic shop. The mechanic says, “Well Mr. Penguin you should go downtown and get something to eat while I see what is wrong with your truck here.” “Great idea!” says Mr. Penguin, “I am famished.” So, the penguin starts walking do- well, waddling down town, and he sees an ice cream shop. Everyone knows that penguins fuckin’ love ice cream so he orders an ice cream cone. He starts to eat it, but it gets all over his beak and face, because he doesn’t have any opposable thumbs, he is a penguin. He starts to wal- ddle back to the mechanic shop. The mechanic, who is just finishing up, rolls out from under the truck and says to the penguin, “Well Mr. Penguin, it looks like you blew a seal.” The penguin shrugs and replies, “Nah, that is just a bit of ice cream.”
A cop is sitting on the side of the highway when all of a sudden he sees a guy driving a truck full of penguins. Confused he pulls the truck over. “What seems to be the problem officer?” “Well you have a truck full of penguins, i’m just going to give you a warning but you need to take these penguins to the zoo immediately.” The next day, the truck passes again, still filled with penguins. This time they are wearing sunglasses. So again the officer pulls the man over. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” “I did, and they loved it. Now we’re going to the beach. !”
Most jokes are, as a lot of them aren’t truly understood as a kid. I once told this joke at the dinner table when I was around 11: Why don’t blondes use vibrators? It chips their teeth. I had no idea what it meant. I thought it was referring to that exercise machine with the strap that goes around your waist and shakes you (It’s an old machine(it was for weight loss)) . I thought the blondes were just rattling their teeth from the vibration of the machine. If it wasn’t for a Betty Boop cartoon I wouldn’t have understood the joke at all. ~ I did this too when I was about 12 (I should have known by then). Asked my mom “what do you call a blonde with pigtails?” -“a blow job with handles” she didnt even get mad. She just asked if I knew what it meant and I said no. Then I proceeded to ask her to tell me but she kept saying she didn’t know.
Three guys are trapped on an island with cannibals. The cannibals tell them that if they want to survive, they must each find ten of the same fruit and return to the cannibals to receiver their next instruction. The first man returns with ten apples and the cannibals tell him he must shove all ten apples up his butt without any changing facial expression and they won’t eat him. After about eight apples, the man’s face becomes strained, and the cannibals eat him. The second man return with ten berries and he is given the same instruction. Upon inserting the tenth berry with no struggle, the man bursts out laughing, so the cannibals eat him. Up in heaven, the first man asks “You were so close to living, how could you just laugh and throw it all away?!” “The other guy brought back pineapples.”
So this guy walks into a bar on a busy night. Everybody is noticing him, and it is all good attention. All the women are swooning over him. But there is one very noticeable thing about him that is odd… his head is an orange. So the guy walks up to the bar and announces, “All drinks are on me tonight!” as he starts making it rain with $100 bills. So the bartender gets the man’s attention and asks him, “So what’s your deal?” The man replies, “Oh, well… I found one of those genie lamps on the beach the other day! He gave me three wishes.” “That’s pretty neat,” replied the bartender. “So what did you wish for?” “Well, the first wish was endless $100 bills in my wallet” The bartender replies, “I guess that explains the money. Good choice. What else did you wish for?” “I then asked him to make me irresistible to women.” “Again, not a bad move. So how about that third wish?” said the bartender.”Ah, the third wish… now here is where I think I may have gone wrong… I asked the genie to turn my head into an orange.” Pictures are from The Library of Congress.