Obituary Mambo
Andrew Sullivan had an uplifting feature, the other day, about obituaries. As is his custom, he found an article at another site, threw out a juicy quote, and moved on. It is up to Chamblee54 to provide more detail, and put up pictures for the text averse. These pictures today are from the Pleasant Hill Baptist Church cemetery. This is a repost. Many of the links are dead.
It is a common practice to look at the obituaries (aka “Irish sports page”) first thing in the morning. If the reader is not included, then the day can proceed as normal. This custom does not take into account the possibility that you have died, and your family it too cheap to purchase a notice.
The article in question is Ten things you don’t know about the obit biz It starts off by saying that the family members are usually happy to help the obit scribe. They have stories about the recently deceased, like ” Eddie “Bozo” Miller boasted of regularly drinking a dozen martinis before lunch, yet he lived to age eighty-nine.”
Newspapers take different approaches to obituaries. Some assign rookies, or use the death beat as punishment for troublemakers. Others give the job to their best writer. The paid notices are usually written by family members, with the help of the undertaker.
Of course, there is the occasional oddball. Alana Baranick, obituary writer for Cleveland’s The Plain Dealer and lead author of Life on the Death Beat: A Handbook for Obituary Writers , likes to visit every municipality in the United States named Cleveland.
One oft repeated saying is that obituaries are about life, not death. As the source puts it: “The British “quality” newspapers — The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, and The Independent, substantiate the old chestnut about obituaries being about life, not death. These papers rarely mention the cause of death, focusing instead on presenting a vivid account of a lived life. American papers have an unhealthy fixation on death. It’s common for “complications of chronic pulmonary disease” or “bile duct cancer” to show up in the story’s lede, never to resurface.”
Only one obituary has won a Pulitzer prize. ” Leonard Warren, a Metropolitan Opera baritone, dropped dead mid-performance in 1960. Sanche de Gramont (who changed his name to Ted Morgan), a young rewrite man at the New York Herald Tribune, banged out the obit in under an hour and won a 1961 Pulitzer in the Local Reporting, Edition Time, category.”
There is an The International Association of Obituarists The headquarters is in Dallas TX, presumably near a grassy knoll. They have an annual convention, which is said to be a lively affair. The 2005 conference was in Bath, England. The 2007 conference was in Alfred NY. There is also the Society of Professional Obituary Writers.
IAO was founded by Carolyn Gilbert, the lady who puts the bitch in obituary. Ms. Gilbert collaborates on a page, Remembering The Passed. RTP has a series of podcasts. They require an apple app to listen, which is too much work for PG.
Death is a part of life. Every language has a word for it, and English has a number of slang expressions. An incomplete list would include : ““passed on”, “are no more”, “have ceased to be”, “expired and gone to meet their Maker”, “are bereft of life”, “have ceased to be”, “rest in peace”, “push up daisies”, “whose metabolic processes are now history”, “are off the twig”, “have kicked the bucket”, “shuffled off their mortal coil”, “run down the curtain” or “joined the Choir Invisible”
Columbia Journalism Review (Motto: Strong Press, Strong Democracy) has a feature about Obit. “Krishna Andavolu is the managing editor of Obit an online magazine intended for those interested in obituaries, epitaphs, elegies, postludes, retrospectives, grave rubbings, widow’s weeds, and other such memorabilia of expiration. Part eulogistic clearinghouse, part cultural review, Obit purports to examine life through the prism of death. Founded in 2007 by a wealthy New Jersey architect who sensed an exploitable niche after seeing a middle-aged woman distraught over the death of Captain Kangaroo, the site is a locus for enlightened morbidity.”
OM is worth a visit. The top story features a picture of Betty Ford, who survived Breast Cancer, Alcoholism, and The White House, to die at 93. The site has an ad from Newlymaid.com, with the creative suggestion to Trade In Your Old Bridesmaid Dress & Get a New Little Black Dress.
OM has a popular feature called Died on the same day. Grim reaper recruits on January 5 include Bolesław IV the Curly, High Duke of Poland (1173), Calvin Coolidge (1933), George Washington Carver (1943), Sonny Bono (1998).
No google search is complete without someone trying to make money. Obituaries Professionally Written says ” … we believe in honoring a life with respect, dignity and integrity. When needed, euphemism is used liberally. “
OPW content provider Larken Bradley says “”Obituary writing is an honor, a privilege, and great fun … I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.”… After she dies she expects her obit headline will read, “Obituary Writer, Six Feet Under.”
PG was going to repost an old favorite, Obituary Mambo. When you recycle something this often, it is a good idea to check the links. For OM, many do not work.
The story begins with a story at the digital home of Andrew Sullivan. This fine facility is now in paywall purgatory. When you click on the old link, you see a cartoon of a French borderguard, and the message “THIS CONNECTION IS UNTRUSTED You have asked Firefox to connect securely to andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com, but we can’t confirm that your connection is secure. …” The browser has this reaction to several of the links in the original story.
Monetization of obituaries seems to have run aground. Links to Obit Magazine give you a page of fine print HTML. The International Association of Obituarists is not on the internet. The NPR interview with Carolyn Gilbert, founder of the IAO, is still up. Presumably, she is still putting the bitch back in obituary. Maybe the 2005 convention in Bath, England was too much.
Another link gave this result: “Welcome to http://www.obituarywriters.com ! Our new web site, powered by EarthLink Web Hosting, is currently under construction.” In its place is The Society of Professional Obituary Writers, “Proudly powered by Weebly.”
SPOW hosted a contest in 2011 and 2012. “Each year, The Society of Professional Obituary Writers holds a competition to honor excellence in obituary writing. Obituaries are submitted by reporters and editors from all over the world, and blind-judged by a panel of our members. Winners receive trophies, known as the Grimmies, and are feted at the annual conference.” Grimmies were given for Best Obit, and Best Body of Work.
2022 UPDATE SPOW is holding on. “Membership is temporarily closed. We’ll be accepting new members after the pandemic ends.” The most recent ObitCon was in 2019. SPOW has a podcast, Immortalized, and is active on twitter, @obituarywriters.
The Tortured Struggle
X does not like linking to a post. I write a description, and leave a link in the comments. Yesterday, it looked like this: “Is there a difference between God and Man? If so, where do you draw the boundary? If you are bored by this type of conversation, then you can always enjoy the pictures. They are from the GSU library. The featured photograph is a 1958 Krystal restaurant, on Lee Street in SW Atlanta.”
Facebook had a response: “I am so inexplicably bored to tears by that tedious conversation. The only way either side can prove their point is to die. The pictures are nice. Further proof that there isn’t any god, only the tortured struggle between man and his own psyche. Thanks for sharing.”
My smartass reaction was that “the tortured struggle between man and his own psyche” was a good description of God. Or, to quote someone more popular than Jesus, “God is a concept by which we measure our pain.” But I didn’t want to start trouble, so I clicked “Like,” and went on my way.
One person who talked about that tortured struggle was Billy Graham. One of the photographs yesterday was the marquee at the Tower Theater, for a 1954 Billy Graham Crusade. Sixteen years later, a Shea Stadium crusade featured Anita Bryant.
The Tower theater is now a parking lot. “The Tower Theater, previously the Erlanger Opera House, was located at 583 Peachtree Street. It was originally constructed in 1790. In the 1950’s the theater was turned into a Cinerama, and the name changed to Martin Cinerama. The theater would also be known as Atlanta Theater, and Columbia Theater. The building was razed in 1995.”
The Erlanger Opera House was probably not built in 1790. I decided to do some checking up, and began by seeing when the North Avenue Presbyterian Church was built next door. This is where the investigation took a curious turn. “The church was constructed from Stone Mountain granite donated by charter members whose family owned the mountain and were in the granite quarry business. It was occupied for the first time for the Thanksgiving service in 1900.”
“The building program was helped immeasurably by the generosity of the Merssrs. William H. and Samuel H. Venable, who donated the granite out of which the building was constructed.” · “William Hoyt Venable (1852-1905) and Samuel Hoyt Venable (1856-1939) were involved with the Stone Mountain quarrying industry. The Venable brothers were the sole owners of Stone Mountain and much surrounding land which they purchased in 1887 at a claimed cost of $350,000.”
“James Venable (1901-1993) was the Imperial Wizard of the National Knights of the Klan from 1963 to 1987, “which he organized as one of several rival Klan factions nationally.” (NY Times) Venable had but continued the family tradition. As a 13 year old, he attended the 1915 Klan resurgence and rally on top of Stone Mountain. He was with his uncle, Sam Venable, who, as one of the owners of Stone Mountain, also became the secretary of the Klan.” … Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. These details are from picture #06665, “Bathing Beauty Pageant, 1925, Huntington Beach CA.”
Where It Starts
This is a repost from January 9, 2021. This was three days after the January 6 incident. In thirteen days, Donald J. Trump will be inaugurated. This election was not contested. … I had never heard of Stacey Abrams. She was a little known legislator, running for Governor. Then there was a controversy about the DSA. They promoted the disruption of a campaign event. A band of ladies started to shout down Stacey Evans, the other person in the Democratic primary.
Miss Abrams supported shouting down her opponent. “I do not believe that you silence those who feel they are voiceless, because the minute we do that we are no better than those who tell people they can’t kneel in protest.” The DSA is a lot of things, but it is not voiceless. They make a lot of noise.
As we all know, Miss Abrams nearly got elected Governor. She ran on a curious platform. Her main issue was claiming that the Republicans engaged in something called “voter suppression.” Miss Abrams famously not-conceded the election. It became an article of faith in Georgia that the election was stolen from her.
A few days after the election, there was a protest rally inside the State Capitol. Such events are forbidden, by law, inside the Capitol. During this event, a state legislator, Nikema Williams, got herself arrested. Stacey Abrams supports the illegal protest rally. In 2020, Nikema Williams was elected to Congress.
We all know what happened Wednesday. Donald Trump lost the election. He claimed the election was stolen from him. He spoke to a rally of angry supporters. The mob proceeded to invade the U.S. Capitol. Much damage was done, both to the Capitol, and what remains of Mr. Trump’s reputation.
There is no obvious connection between the rhetoric of Stacey Abrams, and Donald Trump. Mr. Trump probably would not have been done anything different, if Stacey Abrams had not led the way. This are both examples of what happens when an irresponsible politicians encourage bad behavior from the mob. When you lose an election, you should concede defeat, and move on. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. The men are Union soldiers from the War Between the States.
Sixty Dumb Quotes
This repost was originally published January 08, 2012. At that time, no one could have forseen the prophecy of quote number four. The idea that Donald Trump’s (seldom mentioned) first wife could have said “Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything” was marginally noteworthy in 2012. There is a saying, life is bad fiction. Donald J.Trump is an example.
· Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. – Brooke Shields
· If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure. – Dan Quayle
· So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? — Christina Aguilera
· Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything. – Ivana Trump
· I’m convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism. – Milos Forman .
· When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me. – Kylie Bax, Model/Actress.
· The internet is a great way to get on the net. – Bob Dole
· You guys, line up alphabetically by height. – Bill Peterson, football coach
· I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. – Britney Spears
· I think war is a dangerous place. – George W. Bush
· I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. – Greg Norman, Golfer
· It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something. – Brooke Shields
· Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. – Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal
· These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.
Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player
· I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid. – Paris Hilton
· I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman
Arnold Schwarzenegger
· Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry.
· I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
Mariah Carey
· Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future. – Yogi Berra
· My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.
Chuck Nevitt, basketball player
· The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century. – Dan Quayle
· And now the sequence of events in no particular order. – Dan Rather
· Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods. – George W Bush
· The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing. – Dizzy Dean
· I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost. – Frank Bruno, Boxer
· I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them. – George Bush
· I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first. – George Rogers, NFL RB
· I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.
Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador
· The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. – Joe Theisman
· Half this game is ninety percent mental. – Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
· Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.
Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.
· If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn’t own anything. My wife’s a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven’t sold them. – Ted Turner
· They misunderestimated me. – George W Bush
· I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to. – Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
· Facts are stupid things. – Ronald Reagan
· What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.
How true that is. – Dan Quayle
· That’s just the tip of the ice cube. – Neil Hamilton, BBC2
· A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. – Samuel Goldwyn
· I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid. – Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
· It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment,
· It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. – Dan Quayle
· I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. –
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
· The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change.
After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush. – Sylvestor Stallone
· Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
· We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. – Dan Quayle
· Will the highways on the internet become more few? – George W Bush
· Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.
Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister
· There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964. – Roger Daltrey
· We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees. – Jason Kidd
· I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish.
· And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa. – Britney Spears
· Pitching is 80% of the game.
· The other half is hitting and fielding. – Mickey Rivers, baseball player
· I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. – Dan Quayle
· Put the ‘off’ button on. – George W. Bush
· So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any children? -Michael Barrymore
· Food is an important part of a balanced diet. – Fran Lebowitz, US writer
· We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need? – Lee Iacocca
· For NASA, space is still a high priority. – Dan Quayle
· He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer
· If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. – George Gobel
· If only faces could talk… – Pat Summerall
· Every minute was more exciting than the next. – Linda Evans, actress
· I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic?
I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me. — Jessica Simpson
DISCLAIMER: The accuracy, legitimacy, and context, of these quotes is not known. They have not been verified. Quotes were originally published by 2Spare , a digital facility that advertises “Endless entertainment to spare”. I do not know where 2Spare got this content. 2Spare is for sale. Even though most of the quotes originated in English, the possibility of translation errors exists. The original title was “60 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes”. The use of the superlative is questionable, as is the celebrity status of Dan Quayle. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. William Morris Smith took the photograph in November 1865. “Arlington, Va. Band of 107th U.S. Colored Infantry at Fort Corcoran.”
LATAWNYA, the Naughty Horse
Today’s feature is a repost from 2014. … Awful library books is one of the actors in this drama. It is a good waste of your time. On top of the shelf today is Lee the Rabbit with Epilepsy. Other uplifting volumes on the front page include Isn’t One Wife Enough?: the Story of Mormon Polygamy and When Cavemen Go Bowling. Awful Library Books retired in 2023.
The book that Awful Library Books chose to “weed” was Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say “No” to Drugs. The links in the original post no longer work, so google was enlisted to find a replacement. Believe it or not, this galloping tale has a wikipedia page.
The original book was targeted at African American youth. The author has daughters named Latawnya and Chrystal. The author has sued amazon, wikipedia, and urban dictionary.
A possibly illegal reproduction is found using the link. One of the comments tells a cautionary tale: “It seems that many of these comments are viciously lampooning the work of a genius. I, however, see the visionary work of Mrs. Gibson. This insightful masterpiece presents the very real dangers of horse peer pressure. Just last week my daughter, Amber, was walking to school on a normal, idyllic day in suburbia. Then out of nowhere a Clydesdale galloped brazenly over to my precious princess and offered her a 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and a marijuana cigarette.”
Clydesdales have long been used to promote the products of the Anheuser-Busch company. (When you click on that link, a page pops up: WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR ID YOU MUST BE OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE TO ENTER THIS SITE) When I was younger, I worked on the mall maintenance crew at Northlake Mall. One day, the Budweiser Clydesdales made a visit. I was given a shovel and bucket, and told to walk behind the horses.
Courtesy of Awfullibrarybooks, we can see today “LATAWNYA, the Naughty Horse, Learns to say “No” to Drugs“. This uplifting story is about the afternoon when Latawnya goes out to play with her sisters Daisy and LaToya. Suddenly they meet four strange horses, Connie, Chrystal, Jackie, and Angie. They like to drink and smoke drugs.
The author of this tale was born in Mississippi, and lives in California. She says “Thank you, G-d”.
One of the reasons for the drug problem is drug education. Many of these programs, while well intentioned, make the problem worse.
In 1986, there was an oversupply of cocaine coming into America, and new ways of using the product were needed. Someone had the idea of making crack. The media did its part, by running scare stories about the new drug sensation. “One puff makes your head feel like it is exploding”. The stories had the combined effect of scaring parents, and making crack cocaine irresistible to certain people. Crack became a part of the life.
The first time I heard about oxycontin was a drug education flyer at work. It promised an overwhelming rush to the user who injected the substance. I imagined the reaction of some of the druggies he had known to this promise…where can I get some?
I am in the detoxed, old fogey stage of his life. Millions of others are not. When they read stories about horses who drink and smoke drugs, they learn to believe the opposite of what the drug educators tell them. Many will not live to be detoxed old fogeys. The pictures for this tale of drug-free stallions are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library
Indifferent Truth-Seeker Act
This is a repost from 2024, about an incident in 2018. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. The featured photograph was taken by Russell Lee in June 1941. “A little boy gets a shot (tick fever serum) at the clinic at the FSA (Farm Security Administration) farm labor camp. Caldwell ID” … A bit of dialog turned up in a 2018 facebook thread. “Arnold” “Luther I am genuinely curious about how it is you support white supremacist world views consistently, yet have always hung out in alternative spaces. Have you written about this?” Luther “Questioning the validity of a facebook post is not supporting a white supremacist world view.” “Stephen” “It absolutely is when you’ll accept no standard of evidence presented in support of the claim. No one here is fooled by your indifferent truth-seeker act.” This is not your daddy’s white supremacy.
On January 19, 2018, Wussy published Is the Owner of Popular Atlanta Drag Bar a Racist? A disgruntled employee shared a 2015 facebook screen shot. Palmer Marsh, the owner of Burkhart’s Pub, said “Obviously Vladimir Putin thinks that Barack Obama is a stupid (magic word). He just might be right.” The Atlanta queer community went into a pearl clutching frenzy.
I noticed that the screen shot did not have a date or time. I mentioned this detail, and was richly rewarded for my efforts. This is the “indifferent truth-seeker act” that supports “white supremacist world views.” Examine. Your. Whiteness. was one of the kinder suggestions.
This was seven years ago, and seems quaint today. In the last seven years, we have shut down the country over a virus, and had a racial reckoning. After electing a senile criminal to be President, we supported a gruesome war in Ukraine, facilitated a genocide in Gaza, and elected another senile criminal to be President. The national debt has gone from $20t to $36t. It is tough to believe we were once so concerned about a drunken old man saying a six letter word on facebook.
RIP Jimmy
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The motto of the state of Georgia is wisdom, justice, moderation. Some people say this works out as wisdom and justice in moderation. · State moderation should not be confused with online mods. · exp4-leiarcaica.bsky.social · @RichardHanania Getting all kinds of messages from Indians saying they appreciate me standing with them. Also getting many from rightists angry at my position. The ones from the Indians are all written in impeccable English. The ones written from “America First” types have spelling and grammatical mistakes that would embarrass a second grader. · So you’re a poet, hey? Well if you’re a poet Tell me a poem today Come on, let me know it · RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem. · The rimer quenches his unheeded fires, The sound surceases and the sense expires. Then the domestic dog, to east and west, Expounds the passions burning in his breast. The rising moon o’er that enchanted land Pauses to hear and yearns to understand. Mowbray Myles · R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of requiescat in pace, attesting an indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than reductus in pulvis. · this is my monday morning recap of last week. Pictures today are from a 2019 poem, “The Devil Was Wine” eternal unstirring paralysis, blemish that’s kind to our mortalities, tempestuous times like this analysis, ignominious ecclesiastes. Link in comments · ALEXANDER CHEE: Having written the The Joy of Gay Sex early in your career, would you add anything to it now? And are you aware of having trained any of your lovers who came to you after you wrote that book?WHITE: Well, The Joy of Gay Sex had to be revised. The second version [The New Joy of Gay Sex] was done [in 1993] by Felice Picano and Dr. Charles Silverstein, because of AIDS, to include safe sex and all that. I remember in my book States of Desire, I wrote about a Texas guy who would say, “I’m fixing to come,” when he was about to come. I thought that was so funny, I had to put it in. He was a good-looking, tall blonde with a big dick. I met him years later and he teased me about having written that about him. He met some guy I’d also written about in Los Angeles. He said they both were licking their wounds. · Edmund White: “I remember in my book States of Desire, I wrote about a Texas guy who would say, “I’m fixing to come,” when he was about to come. I thought that was so funny, I had to put it in. He was a good-looking, tall blonde with a big dick.” · I have a podcast series about Karen Silkwood on my phone. When I want to remove an episode after listening, the device asks “Are you sure you want to permanently delete “Silkwood05”? · In 2014, pre-x twitter had a #hashtag, #UnwieldyInsults. @MHanson62 “Hey, Excrement for Intelligence…” @steverand616 Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries Pictures from the GSU library Link in comments · The oil in my vehicle is old, and in need of replacement. That will provide plenty of chore for today, and make me forget that chore rhymes with whore …. i am in the middle of writing a fun blog post. I take six haiku reductions, and write something based on those seventeen syllables. The new twist is to make all of these commentaries exactly 100 words. I may have a few marbles left when this is done. · @tao_lin To all the unmerry people out there. The lonely, the disgruntled, the grumpy, the depressed, the spurned, the people in chronic pain, the severely autistic, and so on, I wish you a day—you do not need to be merry, you’ll make it through this Christmas, it’s almost over. · @Drabblecast @tao_lin · the politically incorrect haiku writing prompts continue to devolve. The latest twist is the introduction of the drabble, or a piece that is exactly 100 words. Unfortunately, the final word count today is 654, which is a dozen words short of satanic glory. @Drabblecast @tao_lin · during the fighting at Kennesaw Mountain on June 23, 1864, Bierce suffered a grievous head wound from a Confederate bullet. Hospitalized for months, he was back in action in September during the Franklin-Nashville campaign. Bouts of dizziness and frequent blackouts — the aftershocks of his wound — forced him to resign from the army on January 25, 1865. · ITAMA Institute of Traditional Asian Martial Arts (East Lansing, MI) · Scimitar is a bit of historic fiction from Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce. On June 23, 1864, Lt. Bierce “suffered a grievous head wound” while fighting in the Union army at Kennesaw Mountain. If this piece offends you, the blame should go to the ineffecient marksmanship of the Army of Tennessee. · scimitar is a bit of historic fiction from Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce. On June 23, 1864, Lt. Bierce “suffered a grievous head wound” while fighting in the Union army at Kennesaw Mountain. Despite having the middle name Gwinnett, Lt. Bierce was wounded in Cobb County. · This is borrowed from The Devil’s Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce. John Collier took the picture in August 1941. “FSA supervisor McArthur weighs in the Smart chickens (2 ½ lb.) prior to their shipment to the Craig Field, SE Air Training Center. Selma AL” · (1114) Simon Peter said to him, “Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life.” Jesus said, “I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven.” … The Gospel According to Thomas · The Relive Box By T. Coraghessan Boyle March 10, 2014 · This is a repost from 2015. In the last nine years, Trans Awareness has mushroomed. Maybe the mushroom paradigm is the best way this discussion. The public is kept in the dark, and fed sh**. While Pronoun Consciousness (PC) has grown and festered, Singular They has not caught on as an alternative to the his/her nomenclature. The next nine years will no doubt see many changes in public gender awareness. Unscrupulous influence peddlers can be expected to exploit gender issues, with little regard for the collective mental health of the community. · “Singular They” is a repost of a feature from 2015, when gender discussions were starting to be fun. The picture, from the GSU library, is from 1951. The Big Apple is now the site of Metro PCS and Fader’s Barbershop. · lbse1-002a · pictures today are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library · selah
Singular They
This is a repost from 2015. In the last nine years, Trans Awareness has mushroomed. Maybe the mushroom paradigm is the best way to view this discussion. The public is kept in the dark, and fed sh**. While Pronoun Consciousness (PC) has grown and festered, Singular They has not totally caught on as an alternative to the his/her nomenclature. The next nine years will no doubt see many changes in public gender awareness. Unscrupulous influence peddlers can be expected to exploit gender issues, with little regard for the collective mental health of the community.
A post from “Mental Floss” was making the facebook rounds. The Washington Post Style Guide Now Accepts Singular ‘They.’ The MF post recycles content from The Washington Post, The Post drops the ‘mike’ — and the hyphen in ‘e-mail’. WAPO has a way with words. “But there comes a point when atoms of language change start to form molecules.”
With increasing visibility of trans identified people, pronouns are getting attention. Many people do not like being referred to by the gender of their birth. One popular method is to use retrofit the plural “they” for use as a singular pronoun for he and she. Not everyone thinks this is a good idea.
A pronoun refers to a noun. The antecedent issue inspired a delightful comment in the WAPO. The author was an English 101 teacher, Puget Sounder. “While I may be able to catch the gist of the student commentary, the precise meaning is not always so evident, and I usually end up drawing lines from pronoun to preceding pronoun, desperately seeking the antecedent noun. Like Captain Ahab, I find a lot of candidates, but the “white whale” is often deeply submerged under the jetsam and flotsam of garbled verbiage.”
The seminal WAPO article had another noteworthy comment. This is from Doctor Dirt. “The singular “they” is far from a no-brainer. It creates more opportunity for confusion, as described below by Puget Sounder, and in other ways. They takes their chances. Bad grammar, colloquialism, or nongender-specific pronouns for a single person? How about “person” instead? Person takes person’s chances. I could get used to that faster than I could get used to “They is sitting in their chair,” and trying to figure out how many people and how many chairs are involved.”
Singular they can cause verb agreement confusion. ST can make you wonder how many butts are sitting in the chair. ST (already used as an abbreviation for Saint) can suggest that the person involved is schizophrenic, or has multiple personality disorder. Employing ST, a plural pronoun, for singular use, is opening a can of linguistic worms.
A gender neutral pronoun for third person use would be an advancement for the English language. In most cases, there is no need to specify gender. Perhaps a contraction of she and it could be used, especially with a southern accent. The sir/ma’am issue will have to wait for another day. There are other complications. … This exchange was on facebook while this feature was being posted: I’m still waiting for Singular Y’all to be approved. ~ I thought y’all was the plural of you. ~ If They can be singular, then Y’all can be singular. ~ That may be the best argument yet against Singular They.
Pictures today are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library. The image displayed on social media is from November 16, 1951. Sidewalk outside the Piedmont Drive-In Theatre and screen. The Big Apple building is now occupied by Fader’s Barbershop, and others.
Scimitar
SCIMITAR, n. A curved sword of exceeding keenness, in the conduct of which certain Orientals attain a surprising proficiency, as the incident here related will serve to show. The account is translated from the Japanese of Shusi Itama, a famous writer of the thirteenth century.
When the great Gichi-Kuktai was Mikado he condemned to decapitation Jijiji Ri, a high officer of the Court. Soon after the hour appointed for performance of the rite, what was his Majesty’s surprise to see calmly approaching the throne the man who should have been at that time ten minutes dead!
“Seventeen hundred impossible dragons!” shouted the enraged monarch. “Did I not sentence you to stand in the market-place and have your head struck off by the public executioner at three o’clock? And is it not now 3:10?”
“Son of a thousand illustrious deities,” answered the condemned minister, “all that you say is so true that the truth is a lie in comparison. But your heavenly Majesty’s sunny and vitalizing wishes have been pestilently disregarded. With joy I ran and placed my unworthy body in the market-place. The executioner appeared with his bare scimitar, ostentatiously whirled it in air, and then, tapping me lightly upon the neck, strode away, pelted by the populace, with whom I was ever a favorite. I am come to pray for justice upon his own dishonorable and treasonous head.”
“To what regiment of executioners does the black-boweled caitiff belong?” asked the Mikado. “To the gallant Ninety-eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh—I know the man. His name is Sakko-Samshi.” “Let him be brought before me,” said the Mikado to an attendant, and a half-hour later the trembling culprit stood in the Presence of the Mikado.
“Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!” roared the sovereign—”why didst thou but lightly tap the neck that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?” “Lord of Cranes and Cherry Blooms,” replied the executioner, unmoved, “command him to blow his nose with his fingers.”
Being commanded, Jijiji Ri laid hold of his nose and trumpeted like an elephant, all expecting to see the severed head flung violently from him. Nothing occurred: the performance prospered peacefully to the close, without incident.
All eyes were now turned on the executioner, who had grown as white as the snows on the summit of Fujiama. His legs trembled and his breath came in gasps of terror. “Several kinds of spike-tailed brass lions!” he cried; “I am a ruined and disgraced swordsman! I struck the villain feebly because in flourishing the scimitar I had accidentally passed it through my own neck! Father of the Moon, I resign my office.” So saying, he gasped his top-knot, lifted off his head, and advancing to the throne laid it humbly at the Mikado’s feet.
This uplifting passage is borrowed from The Devil’s Dictionary, by Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce. TDD began as a newspaper column, and published as The Cynic’s Word Book. TDD is in the public domain, and was named one of “The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature” by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration.
When you google “Shusi Itama,” you are directed to Sushi Tama, a restaurant in Los Angeles, CA. If you persist in searching for Mr. Itama, you learn that ITAMA stands for “Institute of Traditional Asian Martial Arts, East Lansing, MI.” Pictures today are from The Library of Congress
#UnwieldyInsults
This is a repost from 2014. … #UnwieldyInsults are from twitter. They might be talking about you. Pictures are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library.
@HoorayBacon You look like what would happen if a wookie mated with one of the guys from Duck Dynasty #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
@JohnParrish56 There is an odor emitting from your torso that is most egregious. I do say you should stop living. #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
@KebabManiac With your wit, you’d make a wonderful dinner guest for Jeffrey Dahmer
@rockskimmer Lawrence Welk wants his Tupperware back, you bubble-hating, enemy of the accordion! #WeCantBreathe #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS
@KebabManiac I don’t care what the others say – you wear that hunch well
@facebookie You, sir, are lower than Eubalaena japonica ordure at the nadir of the Mariana
@rockskimmer In the HeeHaw auditions of life, you would be laughed from the room and not allowed any of the craft services cornbread. #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS #WeCantBreathe
@KebabManiac You Have The Grace Of A Pygmi Hippo With ‘The Shits’ And The Dancing Prowess Of The Great Proffesor Stephen Hawking
@DaiseyDoesIt Your pompous presence reveals your inherent nature as one best illustrated by a phallically formed cranium
@zolaris64 Your mother wears Bates 30501 Durashock desert foot protection.
@rockskimmer You have the spelling skills of an umbrella stand and the wry wit of a Bass Pro Shops fish finder. #UnwieldyInsults @TheHashtagGame
@TheBrandonHolly You are a maladroitly uncoordinated ape who is unable to take notice of his own bemusing presence & horrendous malfeasance.
@MullingHagel In the theater of the absurd you were asked to stop acting.
@Bat_Guano_1 Your bad taste is exceeded only by your bad breath.
@MHanson62 “Hey, Excrement for Intelligence…”
@steverand616 Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
KennyBrendan You’re an objectivist Marxist who fails to appreciate the potential for revolutionary subjectivity. #WeCantBreathe #UnwieldyInsults #newsnight #ISIS
@FateJacketX I would rather read Hawthorne to a bovine in heat than suffer your malodorous company at the debutant ball!
@llamaranch This meal tastes like the regurgitated bile of a pregnant hippopotamus who suffers from leprosy. #UnwieldyInsults @TheHashtagGame #ladygaga
@tlcninjarx Your only value is the plethora of calumnious epithets you have reminded me are in my arsenal of verbal eviscerators
@jpostman You’re about as effective as the 1992 Maastricht Agreement was at unifying EU monetary policy #UnwieldyInsults #YeahNotFunny
@chamblee54 #unwieldyinsults a plethora of pusillanimous pie throwing meta entertainment most never knew who was targeted
United States Of Amnesia
I stumbled onto a podcast of Allan Gurganus speaking at a literary event in Key West. Mr. Gurganus, bless his heart, is a good writer. As a public speaker, the jury is “out.”
This particular literary event concerned historical fiction. Tom Robbins went on a tear once, comparing animal husbandry to history. With one, you combine blood lines to create a superior breed. With the other, you mix “facts” to create an inspiring story. With both animal husbandry and history, you are frequently up to your ankles in shit.
Mr. Gurganus trotted out a bunch of quotable lines. ”Liars like historians and politicians tend to overdocument.” ”Myth is gossip grown old.” ”the term historical fiction sounds as pitifully redundant as, say, creative writing. … It’s like having ‘oxygen breather’ stamped on your driver’s license.” ”History is agreed-upon hearsay granted tenure.”
The first time I tried to listen to the Gurganus speech, the cliche slinging got too thick, and the player triangle was turned into the parallel lines. Or maybe it was the parallel lines turned into the triangle. In any event, the speakers quit making sounds. This option is not available live.
The second time I tried to listen to the Gurganus speech, the line about hearsay granted tenure stuck. Mr. Google was consulted, and found a nice website for the literary event. Another speaker at said event was Gore Vidal. Finally, Mr. Gurganus wore out my patience. It was time to download the appearance by Mr. Vidal.
The emcee said, “I don’t want to steal your jokes, but you said that this is the United States of Amnesia.” Mr. Vidal said, “I don’t remember that.” This is going to be fun. Photographs for this repost are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Lady In An SUV
These old posts are a gift that keeps giving. This 2009 episode has a joke, that you probably have heard before. It is behind the Atlantic’s paywall now, but is here for free. If you want to read it, you can go to the link.
Two videos are embedded. Jingle Bell – Punjabi Tadka is a south asian take on a holiday classic. White Trash Christmas is a documentary about America’s heartland.
“I just shared a video, W***e T***h C******s. I don’t know if f******k is still giving strikes for insensitive content, so I took it down. If you want to see the video, look for my blog post later.” In 2009, facebook did not object to the phrase “White Trash.” Fifteen years later, you have to be careful what you say, or think.
The best part of this 2009 feature is the pictures. I have always enjoyed drawing mustaches on pictures. Here are facial hair enabled renderings of 2009 celebrities. Teddy Kennedy and Micheal Jackson went to a better place in 2009, followed in 2021 by Rush Limbaugh. Hillary Clinton was instrumental in the 2016 election of whatshisname. Nobody is sure what Sarah Palin is doing now.
The second feature to be recycled today is a true story. It could have been written yesterday. In the past fifteen years, the bridge over Nancy Creek has been rebuilt, and is not as treacherous as before. The rest of the roads are little better, and the drivers are worse.
Open letter to the lady in the SUV You were behind me on Johnson Ferry Road, between Peachtree Industrial and Ashford Dunwoody. You were following too close, and wandering from side to side of the lane, as if to tell me to drive faster. I was going the speed limit and was not in the mood to violate the law. It was a two lane road, and there was no need to go faster.
After the first red light, there was about two hundred feet of an extra lane. You sped around me, and got in front to turn left. You had an SUV, with bumper stickers from Emory, William and Mary, and the Human Rights Campaign Fund. I choose not to advertise on my vehicle. If I donated money to a useless outfit like HRCF, I would be quiet about it.
The next section of Johnson Ferry was a two lane road with a 35 mph speed limit. This road was built before subdivisions and apartments, back in an era when 35 mph was pretty fast. There is a bridge at the bottom of the hill over Nancy Creek, which is kinda rough. I like to slow down a bit before crossing it. You drove fast until you came to a car ahead. You seemed to be following it too close. If there had been a need for a sudden stop, you might not have been able to stop your SUV in time.
The light at the top of the hill was green, and we went on through to the light at Peachtree Dunwoody, across from the hospitals. You were in the middle lane, and I was in the right lane, next to you at the light. All that type A driving had done you no good. The tailgating, the unsafe passing, the weaving from side to side…. all that did was make your fellow drivers nervous. You still wound up in the same place. You put the lives of others in danger, and you did not gain a thing.
Chamblee54 
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