Golf And Shopping
One Sunday afternoon, a man was playing golf. On the third hole, he hit the tee shot, and was walking down the fairway towards the ball. The fairway was next to a road. A funeral procession was driving down the road.
The man stopped his cart, got out, took his hat off and put it over his heart. He stood still, with his head bowed, until the mourners had driven by.
The playing partner of the man was astonished. “Don, why are you making such a big deal over that funeral procession”
“It was my wife”.
There was a small town once, with a Catholic Church, a Baptist Church, and a Jewish Synagogue.
One day the Catholics decided to give their priest a new car. They got an Audi, sprinkled a few drops of holy water on the hood, and gave it to the priest.
The Baptists thought this was a really good idea, and they decided to give their pastor a new vehicle. They got a Ford pickup truck, took it to a boat ramp, hooked a winch up to the front, and lowered the truck into the lake until it was completely covered in water.
Not to be outdone, the Jewish congregation decided their rabbi needed a new ride. They bought a Lexus, and cut half an inch off the tail pipe.
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent, when her mobile phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she’d be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. Then she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!”
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The lady doctor then chuckled. “I’m just pulling your leg. He’s dead. Show me what you bought.”
Thank you Gartalker for the last story. This is a repost. Pictures for this affair are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
Do You Have Questions
My 72-Hour Safari in Clinton Country ~ “I have often felt that an artist is a detestable ~ The 8 Costly Identity Theft Mistakes (and how to avoid them) ~ @DickFurari This is my favorite gas station viagra: #SuperPanther7 ~ @KimKierkegaard Do you have questions on love, existence, fashion, or culture? I will answer them for the next thirty minutes ~ ‘Describe Yourself Like a Male Author Would’ Is the Most Savage Twitter Thread in Ages ~ @whitneyarner new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would ~ This Handy Chart Automatically Generates a Pitch for Your New Novel ~ Racists Are Threatening to Take Over Paganism ~ White supremacists may be eyeing Meigs County ~ How to Think about “Implicit Bias” ~ How to Stop Your Mind From Wandering During Meditation ~ Intercepted podcast: Injustice League ~ tax cut bill ~ Brian Eno’s ‘Ambient 1: Music for Airports’ is playing on loop at London City Airport ~ 10 million pounds of human feces from New York/New Jersey are rotting in railcars stuck in a small Alabama town ~ We Await Repentance for Assassinating Dr. King ~ Against Mission Drift ~ Richard Poplak sets Jordan B Peterson’s house in order: a (scorching) review of 12 Rules For Life ~ queering the map ~ The Truth About the 7,000 ~ Shame campaign: Could a social media firestorm consume Madison bar Gib’s? ~ Taking it for the Team ~ Making Sex Real “in Atlanta,” 1982-Present: An American Grammar (for Teodoso Xavier Rojo) ~ Deposition of Bacteria and Bacterial Spores by Bathroom Hot-Air Hand Dryers ~ Winston Churchill Gets a Doctor’s Note to Drink “Unlimited” Alcohol in Prohibition America (1932) ~ men from mars thread ~ Here’s What Will Happen After a Huge Earthquake Inevitably Hits California ~ sciatic nerve pain ~ dark patterns ~ Restaurant manager stabbed after firing employee ~ Grace Jones is a man ~ The cult of being kind ~ what is a producer? ~ Yes, the Alt-Left Exists, and No, It’s Not What You Think It Is ~ “it’s part of the psychology of group conflict that we always characterize our group in morally lofty terms ” “well yes, but that does not” .~ white supremacy ~ Today: Tim is counting on you Tim Copeland needs your help with “LGBTQ Georgia – Save our Culture and Identity”. Join Tim and 774 supporters today. ~ That is no sillier than “thou shalt not lie” in a courtroom, and “thou shalt not steal” at the courthouse. ~ @williamrblack @elizabethcatte I could only listen to 33 minutes of this show… yes, racism is a problem, but elitist obsession with racism only makes it worse Democrats said, in effect, if you don’t vote for HRC you are a racist The result is election of DJT ~ About Multicultural Affinity: African American (US) People who live in the United States whose activity on Facebook aligns with African American multicultural affinity ~ I get fundraising emails from Karen Handel. She voted for the tax cut last year. Her message today: Our budget process is broken, and I believe the first step in fixing this problem is passing a Balanced Budget Amendment. You can’t make this up. ~ Is anyone else tired of hearing about @davidhogg111 ? I don’t want to badmouth him, but am looking forward to the end of his fifteen minutes. His media moment is a distraction from the issue of gun control. ~ I was curious about how your friends were arranged. The person who, without my asking, signed me up for facebook, is now at the bottom of the list. I would like to see the friends list in alphabetical order. ~ @wickedfedora2 #KickedOutOfPromBecause I spiked the punch bowl with Tide pods. ~ There is a twitter address, @TFLN, or texts from last night. I am currently editing selected tweets, which I will incorporate into a poem. The tweets below are not iambic pentameter friendly, but do have a certain educational value. The parenthetic number is the area code. (724): This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking. (541): We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his (206): sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it “blackout punch” not “don’t vom on my floor punch” (253): I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra. (216): dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air. (413): Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement… (354): We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn’t want to offend us. (207): One of these days, I’d like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people’s plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn’t even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go. ~ pictures are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
Killed By Police April 8
32 people were Killed By Police in the United States last week. Here are the links: 315 Jason Alan Birt 316 Nicolas Sedano 317 Stephen Mammarella 318 Joseph Walden Johnson Jr 319 Brian Bellamy 320 Cresencio Rodriguez 321 Christopher Lamarr Hall 322 Timothy Wyatt 323 Bobby Hinton 324 John Wussler 325 Luis Yair Alvarez 326 327 328 Jeffery Louis Parker 329 330 Adan Rene Marrero 331 Saheed Vassell 332 Alexis Stinson 333 Grady Parks 334 Luis Alberto Garcia-Vara 335 Robert Litolff 336 William Frazier II 337 Rafael Ramirez 338 Kelvin Baldwin 339 340 341 Brenda Jenette Harrison-Bumbray 342 Jonathan Erick Alexander 343 344 Daniel Allen Yielding 346 345 Larry Siordia Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
8 of the victims were white. (315, 317, 326, 328, 335, 336, 338, 344) 8 of the victims were black. (319, 321, 322, 323, 331, 333, 339, 342) 5 of the victims were latino. (316, 320, 325, 330, 334) 324 John Wussler was a native american. The race of 10 of the victims is unknown. (318, 327, 329, 332, 337, 340, 341, 343, 345, 346) 2 of the victims were female (332, 341)
11 of the victims fired at an officer. (318, 321, 322, 323, 332, 333, 336, 338, 340, 342, 345) 14 of the victims displayed a weapon. (315, 319, 320, 324, 325, 326, 327, 328, 329, 334, 335, 337, 343, 344) 3 of the victims were suicidal. (328, 329, 334) 2 of the victims were in a car chase. (318, 342) A taser was used on 2 victims. (333, 338) 2 of the victims died without a shot being fired. (317, 318) 4 of the victims were in a domestic dispute. (319, 321, 323, 341)
The murder-suicide of United States Park police officer Jose Ramon Bumbray, and his wife Brenda Jenette Harrison-Bumbray, is the story of the week. “A U.S. Park Police officer killed his wife before turning the gun on himself Thursday, according to the Charles County Sheriff’s Office. Sheriff’s deputies were called shortly after 8 p.m. to a house in the 5000 block of Fallen Timber Way in Indian Head, where the couple were involved in a fight before the shootings. Authorities said the couple’s son was in his bedroom when he heard the argument followed by the shots. He then discovered his parents with gunshot wounds and called 911, the Sheriff’s Office said. Brenda Jenette Harrison-Bumbray, 50, was pronounced dead at the scene. Jose Ramon Bumbray, 46, was taken to a hospital where he died. He was an officer with the U.S. Park Police, and it appears he used his agency-issued firearm, the Sheriff’s Office said.” (341)
The death of Saheed Vassell is controversial. “Officers responded to three 911 calls that came in around 4:40 p.m. about a black man wearing a brown leather jacket waving a silver gun at people on the corner of Utica Ave. and Montgomery St., NYPD Chief of Department Terrence Monahan said at a press conference. When the officers got to the street corner, the man, Saheed Vassell, 34, faced them, aiming the object at them, Monahan said. “The suspect then took a two-handed shooting stance and pointed an object at the approaching officers,” the chief said. Four officers — one in uniform, three plainclothes — fired 10 shots, striking the victim multiple times about 4:45 p.m. at the corner of Utica Ave. and Montgomery St. in Crown Heights, sources said. He was taken to Kings County Hospital where he died. Monahan described the object in the Vassell’s hand as “a pipe with some sort of knob.” Screen shots from surveillance video at the scene show a blurry figure with his arm outstretched standing next to a bodega ice machine.” video (331)
“According to investigators, about 10:30PM March 31, 2018, officers with the Reno Police Department responded to a call of a burglary in progress at the Peckham Plaza Mini-Storage at 1400 E. Peckham Lane. While checking the area of the storage units on foot, two Reno Police officers came across a stolen Honda Civic parked behind one of the buildings. In the car was 21-year-old Nicolas Sedano, believed to be from Northern Nevada. Police confronted him and the contact escalated into a situation leading police to shoot him.” (316)
“A fatal crash between a Lee County Sheriff’s Office cruiser and a Fort Myers bicyclist at U.S. 41 and Estero Parkway … is being investigated by the Florida Highway Patrol. An FHP report said the 2009 Ford Crown Victoria cruiser, driven by LCSO employee Tyler Davot, 29, was southbound on 41 in the center lane approaching a green light for Estero Parkway around 9:30 p.m. The bicyclist, Stephen Mammarella, 29, was crossing U.S. 41 on the north side of the intersection traveling east. Mammarella traveled into the center lane and into the cruiser’s path, the FHP said, with the right front of the cruiser hitting the left side of Mammarella’s Ozone model bicycle.” (317)
“Family members allege a Cameron County Sheriff’s Department deputy shot and killed 22-year-old Luis Yair Alvarez on Easter Sunday. … The shooting happened at an apartment complex on the 2600 block of Florencia Avenue. What appeared to be blood could still be seen stained on the cement parking lot Monday afternoon. … Alvarez’s mother, Esmeralda Vega, on Monday afternoon, surrounded by at least a dozen mourning family members and friends, said she called the police because her son was fighting with his girlfriend and wouldn’t stop. According to Vega, the girlfriend wanted to leave, but Alvarez wouldn’t let her, prompting the call to the sheriff’s office. “He got a knife, but he didn’t intend to assault anyone,” Vega said in Spanish. Vega told her son that police were outside. “That’s when he went outside with the knife, but both hands were up,” Vega said. Several family members present when Alvarez was killed recalled hearing four gunshots. “His girlfriend tried to approach and try to relax him after he fell on the floor and they pointed the gun toward the girlfriend as well,” Vega said.” (325)
“Easter Sunday turned bloody on Spring Street after Belton police officers shot a man who, according to neighbors, threatened officers with a knife. Multiple neighbors said that same man (Donald P. McCarter) threatened one family that he would kill them, including their two-year-old daughter, and burn the family’s house to the ground. Alanna Sapenaro, who’s lived on Spring Street since October, said that man from across the street appeared a few weeks ago. Sapenaro, whose family is biracial, said the man slashed the tires on one of her family’s cars and tried to break through the home’s front door. “He threatened to kill me and my family,” Sapanero said, speaking exclusively with FOX4. “He was yelling some racial slurs at our house and our family and how we didn’t belong here. He just kept going and we asked him to leave,” she said. Down the street, cellphone cameras were recording as Belton Police officers made multiple stops at the house where the knife-wielding man lived. Police were summoned to that area on three occasions Sunday, beginning around 3:30 p.m. and finally around 11:15 p.m., according to Sapenaro.” (326)
“Salt River police said they were called about a person “making threats and gesturing that they had a weapon” at the Pavilions at Talking Stick Shopping Center, just east of the Loop 101, at about 11:30 a.m. March 23. Orozco said the person was armed with an unspecified weapon and advanced on an officer “in a threatening manner.” The officer then shot the person.” (327)
“CCPD officers last night responded to a call of a home invasion robbery in the 2300 block of Capitan Dr last night. According to police, responding officers confronted the robbers as they were leaving an apartment. 34-year-old Adan Rene Marrero was shot by officers and died at the scene. Another man, 25-year-old Michael Guzman was arrested by CCPD, and charged with Burglary with Intent to Commit another Felony, Possession of Marijuana, Outstanding Warrant, Failure to Identify as a Fugitive, Giving False ID and Evading Arrest. CCPD says the robbers physically assaulted several apartment residents before officers arrived. A firearm was recovered at the scene.” (330)
“At 10:53 am, Barstow Police Officers we’re called to the Walmart parking lot in the 300 block of Montara Road for a suspicious vehicle. According to Sheriff’s Spokeswoman Cindy Bachman, when deputies arrived on scene, they located a black Ford Mustang driven by a subject that they recognized as a suspect that was wanted for a recent crime. The crime that the suspect was wanted for was a stolen vehicle case out of the city of Barstow, according to Bachman. “The driver pulled the vehicle into a parking space and as the patrol cars approached the driver reversed and accelerated towards the officers, striking one of the Barstow police cars,” … “the Barstow police officers were out of their vehicles and giving the driver commands to stop and exit the vehicle. The driver then accelerated a second time towards the officers and struck a second Barstow patrol car. At that time, the officer involved shooting occurred.” Inside the vehicle, there was a driver and three passengers. There were three people injured one of them suffered fatal injuries. Another female suffered multiple gunshot wounds and was airlifted to Arrowhead Regional Medical Center. The slain suspect appeared to be a Black Male Adult who remained slumped over inside the Mustang.” (339)
“Authorities say they shot and killed a man after pursuing him across Yuba County and after he fired at a police dog. The Yuba County Sheriff’s Office said Friday that Wheatland police attempted to pull over a drunken driving suspect around 2:30 a.m. Friday but the man would not stop. The driver was finally stopped with spike strips as he entered Marysville some 13 miles (21 kilometers) away. Authorities from several agencies approached the vehicle and ordered the man to surrender but he refused. They used a county sheriff’s canine to bring the suspect out, but he fired at the dog. Authorities returned fire and the suspect died at the scene. The dog was wounded in the neck and is expected to survive. It’s in stable condition, authorities say. The suspect has been identified as Jonathan Erick Alexander, 26. Investigators do not know his last-known residence. Meanwhile, the Yuba County Sheriff’s Department identified the wounded K-9 officer as Glock and said he is expected to survive his injury.” (342)
Dr. King And Mr. King
PG stumbled onto a blog post about a speech. It was delivered August 28, 1963, by Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. You have probably heard the money quote many times, but how many have heard the entire 881 words. PG had not, and decided to take a look.
The speech is really a sermon. It is delivered with the cadence, and rhetorical flourishes, of the church. Dr. King was a minister. The Jesus worship church is a huge player in African America. The fact that slaves were introduced to this religion, by their owners, seems to be forgotten.
The term used is Negro. This was the polite word in 1963. The custom of saying Black started in the late sixties, at least partially inspired by James Brown. Negro began to be seen as an insult, along with the infamous N-word … which is really just a lazy way of saying Negro.
As the speech is working up to the climax, there is a line “But not only there; let freedom ring from the Stone Mountain of Georgia!” Today, Stone Mountain is a middle class black community. DeKalb County is mostly black, and the political leadership is African American. This was a long way from happening in 1963.
Twelve weeks after Dr. King gave his speech, President John Kennedy was killed. Part of the reaction to this tragedy was the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
The next year saw the Voting Rights Act, and escalation of the war in Vietnam. It seemed that for every step forward, there was a half step back. People lost patience with non violence. America did not implode, but somehow survived. It is now fifty four years later.
The other day PG stumbled onto a blog post, about a speech given by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This address was deemed “the singularly most-important speech on race in the history of this country.”
PG admires Dr. King. He is also suspicious of superlatives. There were some comments made by Rodney Glen King III. The comments by Mr King were briefer, and tougher to live up to.
While thinking of things to write about, PG realized that he had never seen the actual quote by Mr. King. It is embedded above. When you see this video, you might realize that Mr. King has been misquoted. The popular version has him saying “Can’t we all just get along.” He did not say just.
Mr. King was known to America as Rodney King. His friends called him Glen. His comments, at 7:01, May 1, 1992, went like this: ““People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids? . . . Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it.”
The circumstances of the two comments could not be more different. Dr. King was giving the sermon of his life. There was an enormous crowd, both in person and on TV. His comments were scripted, rehearsed, and delivered with the style that he was famous for.
Mr. King, by contrast, had just seen the officers who beat him acquitted. Cities from coast to coast were in violent upheaval. Mr. King was speaking to reporters without benefit of a speech writer. What he said might be more important. This double repost has pictures from The Library of Congress.
War Stories
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply. ‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’ ‘That’s right.’ So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. (Once, I asked for sweetener, and she said they only had Splenda and sugar.)
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine. Mother:’I just gave him some ant killer……’ Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency right away’
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’ I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’ She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her and left.
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’ ‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked. ‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.
























































































































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