Still Life With Woodpecker
The last paragraph of Still Life With Woodpecker begins “Even with aids, their hearing was only partially restored”. This refers to hearing aids, not HIV.
SLWW was written during the Carter administration, and yet talks about the last quarter of the twentieth century. PG recently re read SLWW. With the exception of the Tea Party, we are thirteen percent into the twenty first century. The book, however visionary, wrote about the last quarter, etc, while discos were considered the latest innovation in entertainment. The eighties and nineties had a few surprises. AIDS was science fiction when SLWW was written.
One is cocaine. In SLWW, many of the leading characters thought tootski was great fun. A few years later, a Republican administration pulled a double whammy on the patriotic public. On the one hand a war on drugs was trumpeted, with many liberties counted as casualties. While this was going on, another branch of big government was using cocaine importers to take guns to terrorists in Central America. PG remembers those days as the time when he quit trying to make sense of current events.
Another theme of this book… despite it’s flaws, it is still tons of fun to read … are the hidden messages embedded in the package for Camel Cigarettes. This package was introduced in 1913, according to SLWW. This was the same year as the start of the Federal Reserve Bank. In 1914, a horrendous war started in Europe. American managed to get dragged into this conflict, and the modern era started.
1913 was the first year of Woodrow Wilson as POTUS. His election was facilitated by a third party run by Teddy Roosevelt. He had previously been promoted to POTUS by the suspicious murder of William McKinley. This was followed shortly by the mysterious Camel package, and the Federal Reserve Bank.
The 1992 election also featured a third party helping to elect a Democrat. Bill Clinton balanced the budget, and got impeached over a blow job. You can’t make this stuff up. It is understandable that SLWW did not see it coming. This was written like David Foster Wallace. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
Idle
Over at the one star blog, there is a post this morning, If you’re going to snip, you should snip this verse. The thesis here is that if you are going to edit the Bible, that you should redact Genesis 1:1.
“A well-known actor… tries to ameliorate his guilt over pursuing his slavery to unnatural desires by snipping out unwelcome passages from Gideon’s Bibles in motel rooms. This is vandalism as therapy, evidently yet another pursuit of the idle rich.”
The link is to a 2007 article in a production called LifeSiteNews. “British Actor Ian McKellen who has used the mega-stardom he achieved playing Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings films to promote homosexuality, has admitted to ripping out pages of hotel bibles that refer to homosexuality… “Yes it is true,” responded McKellen it’s even tones. “Its Leviticus 18:22 that I object to, or is it 22:18, I’ve always got to look it up. … “I think it’s rather obscene and pornographic, and shouldn’t be there, so I remove it.”
Now, whatever one thinks of snipping and clipping by Sir Ian, one word that should not be used is idle. A movie actor spends long days on the set. He is up early for makeup, must wear an uncomfortable costume, and every scene is filmed at least a dozen times. Nor is the road to movie stardom an easy one. Sir Ian started out in live theater, with long hours spent in rehearsal, and eight performances a week. For every Sir Ian who hits the big time, there are a thousand players, of equal talent, who wait tables during the day, so they can perform at night. This is not the lifestyle of “the idle rich.”
Why The Time Is Always 10:09:36
PG notices details, sometimes. One thing is the time on clocks and watches in ads. The time is 10:09:36. Sometimes, it is 01:51:25. There are occasional exceptions, but 10:09:36 seems to be an industry standard. This is a repost.
It focuses attention on the top part of the watch, and makes the bottom part visible. Typically, the logo of the manufacturer is framed by the hands. The manufacturer wants the logo to be visible in the ads.
The hands lifted upward make a welcoming gesture. If you hold your arms out at the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock positions, it will look like you are about to hug someone. This shape also looks like a smile.
After this, we get into the myths. At this particular time (10:09:36) US deployed the atom bomb on Japan. This particular time is used to remind people of the US dominance. A bit of research into pre atom bomb advertising might disprove that, but PG thinks that is too much work.
Another hypothesis is that Abraham Lincoln was shot at 10:15 pm on April 14, 1865, and died at 7:22 the next day. How this translates into 10:09:36 is anyone’s guess. However, standard time was not used in the United States until 1883. The precise “time” of Mr. Lincolns retirement is not known.
Someone wrote the Timex company about this issue.
A: WE CALLED TIMEX FOR YOUR ANSWER AND IT SAYS THE HANDS ON A CLOCK ARE PLACED AT TEN-TEN BECAUSE IT’S A CREATIVE STANDARD INDUSTRY. TIMEX SAYS THE HANDS ON TIMEPIECES ARE PLACED AT TEN-TEN SO THE COMPANY LOGO ON THE FACE WILL BE FRAMED AND NOT BLOCKED BY THE HANDS.
TIMEX SAYS THE INDUSTRY STANDARD USED TO BE EIGHT-TWENTY BUT THAT LOOKED TOO MUCH LIKE A FROWN AND CREATED AN UNHAPPY LOOK. TIMEX SAYS IN ITS ADS, THE CLOCK HANDS ARE PLACED AT TEN-NINE AND THIRTY SIX SECONDS, EXACTLY.”
Another source discusses this issue when the “creative standard industry” was 8:20. At that time people still said it was the time that Abe Lincoln was shot and or died.
Yet another source, the poetically named stupidquestion.net, has a few more tidbits. It seems like in the 1880’s, pocket watches became popular. In ads, the case was shown more than the face. The omega watchmaker established the 10:08:35 standard in 1915, and the industry followed suit. This would also seem to contradict the atom bomb theory given above.
PG has always wondered something else. Are all photographs for watch ads shot at 10:09:36? If not, then the ads are a lie. According to StupidQuestions, watchmakers send out non functioning dummy watches that are frozen at a certain time. PG ( who does not wear a watch, but uses wall clocks) says this makes him question the honesty of the ad.
Such A Pansy
Louie Giglio was being discussed on the Allen Hunt Show Sunday night. A lady did not think Mr. Giglio should nothave withdrawn from his chore of praying at the BHO inauguration. The lady said “He was such a pansy about it”.
PG called the show to make a comment about the lady. After getting the busy signal a few times, PG talked to the screener. The comment was that the lady, when discussing Louie Giglio, said “he was such a pansy about it.” Pansies, in fact, are very tough plants. They thrive in cold, nasty weather. Mr. Giglio, in withdrawing from consideration of doing the prayer, was the opposite of acting like a pansy.
At first the screener said he would pass along the comment to Mr. Hunt. PG said he would not mind waiting, and the screener said he would have to wait for a half hour. PG said this was not a problem. The screener said to keep the radio turned off, and to get quickly to the comment.
After a few minutes of chatter, Mr. Hunt went to a commercial break. He said that the subject would be Lance Armstrong when he got back. The screener got back to PG, and said that the show would not be discussing Louie Giglio any more. PG said that Mr. Hunt just didn’t want to hear any opposing viewpoints. The screener said we are not like that, and hung up.
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
This was written like Arthur Clarke.
What Is Dirty About Louie Louie?
The sixties were a great time to be a kid. As long as you were too young for a Vietnam Vacation, there were kicks to be had.
One of the more enduring legends was the dirty lyrics to “Louie Louie”. Recorded by an obscure band called the Kingsmen, the song was a massive hit in 1963 ( It never was Number One). When WQXI put out lists of the greatest songs of all time, “Louie Louie” was at the top of the list. This is despite, or because of, the raucous sound. The song was recorded in one take, when the band thought they were playing a rehearsal. The vocals are difficult to make sense of, and rumored to be obscene. No one was ever quite sure why .With the garbled sound on the record, the listener could hear almost anything they wanted to.
The Governor of Indiana, Matthew Welsh, banned radio stations from playing the song in that state. On February 7, 1964, Attorney General Robert Kennedy got a letter from an outraged parent about the lyrics to “Louie Louie”. An F.B.I. investigation followed. After thirty months of investigation, the Bureau concluded that they could not make sense of the lyrics.
PG had a neighbor named Carol. A tomboy who could whip most of the boys, she had a pet skunk named Napoleon. Carol claimed to have heard a band at Lenox Square play “Louie Louie”. “He said the words real slow so you could understand them. I can’t repeat what he said,but it was dirty”.
Louie, Louie Oh no, me gotta go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, said, ah
Louie, Louie Oh, baby, me gotta go
A fine little girl she waits for me Me
catch a ship for cross the sea.
Me sail that ship all alone Me never think how I make it home.
Ah, Louie, Louie No, no, no, no, me gotta go.
Oh, no. Said, Louie, Louie Oh, baby, said we gotta go.
Three nights and days I sail the sea Think of girl, oh, constantly.
Ah, on that ship I dream she there
I smell the rose, ah, in her hair.
Ah, Louie, Louie Oh, no, sayin’ we gotta go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but, ah, Louie, Louie Oh, baby, said, we gotta go.
[Yelled] Okay, let’s give it to ‘em right now! [instrumental]
Me see Jamaica, ah, moon above.
It won’t be long, me see me love.
Take her in my arms again, I got her; I’ll never leave again.
Ah, Louie, Louie Oh, no, sayin’ me gotta go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But, ah, Louie, Louie Oh, baby, said, ah, we gotta go.
I said we gotta go now, Let’s get on outta here.
[Yelled] Let’s go.
Transcribed by David Spector Sept. 2000 Public Domain. If anyone reading this can explain what was so dirty about this song, please leave a comment. Thank you Wikipedia for your help in assembling this. This is a repost. Pictures by The Library of Congress This was written like Vladimir Nabokov.
Leg Cramp
Pain in the right thigh.
Take a leg cramp pill.
Go for a walk.
This usually works.
No rain.
Warm for january.
The pain leaves.
It is a new beginning.
This is life.
Application For Baptism
Passion City Church has been in the spotlight recently. Pastor Louie Giglio univited himself from participation in the second inauguration of BHO. The website for the facility has an “Application for Baptism.” PG decided to answer their questions.
Please state briefly how and when you placed your faith in Christ as Savior and began to follow Him with your life.
I learned the truth about Jesus one day at work, My neighbor was an aggressive preacher. One day this aggression turned on me, and I was shouted down and humiliated. When he was through with his tirade, he went back to his desk. A minute later, the phone rang. The aggressive preacher screamed “I never felt better in my life”. It should be noted here that Jesus and Christ are two very different terms. The person known as Jesus may, or may not, have been the Christ.
Do you believe you are going to heaven? Why do you believe that?
What happens to the dead is none of living people’s business. The answer is to have faith in G-d to take care of you when you die. When you scream about salvation, you are betraying a lack of faith in G-d. Whatever G-d wants to do with me when I die is her business.
Why do you want to get baptized? Have you been baptized before? Please explain.
In the Southern Baptist Church, pre adolescent children are pressured to join the church and be baptized. The good news is that this is better than what Catholic priests like to do with children. When it was my time to be pressured into joining the church, I was uncertain that it was the right step to take. After all these years, I am curious what I was missing.
Baptism is a public declaration symbolizing death to our old way of life and an entering in to the new life we have received in Christ. Though not perfect, does your life today reflect the change Christ has made in you?
My life is the same today as it was before I learned the truth about Jesus. I try to treat my neighbor with kindness and honest compassion.
Faster Faster
Many of us spend a lot of time driving. Here are a few thoughts.
1- Find another way to show how bad you are. This is mostly a masculinity thing, but it just might apply to a few ladies. Driving hard and fast is the easy way to prove your toughness. All you do is push the gas pedal. You don’t have to go to the gym, have lots of sex, or go into battle. Just drive fast, and with no concern for your neighbor.
2- Slow down. There is no need to go so fast. When you go somewhere, allow yourself enough time to get there. The faster you drive, the less reaction time you have in an emergency.
3- Stay far enough behind the car ahead of you to stop in an emergency. This will be less stressful for the person in front of you.
4- Pay attention to the road. This is where the cell phones become a problem. You should be focused on the road ahead of you, and not what your phone mate is telling you. Your minutes will be just as good when you get to your destination.
5- The three rules of the workplace apply here…. show up, stay awake, and don’t kill anyone.
6- Keep your car in good condition. The tires and brakes are key items, but also keep the engine running smoothly. Sometimes you need to accelerate.
7- Keep your temper. Driving while angry is a cause of many accidents, especially when combined with alcohol or religion.
8- At the risk of saying the unthinkable, some think a bit of alcohol is not that terrible. Of course, when you drink your judgment of how high you are is distorted, so it is tough to tell when too much is consumed. The law takes a much, much sterner view of this.
9- Use your turn signals.
10- Show concern for the well being of your neighbor. Use common sense.
This is a repost .
Pastor Giggly
This post was going to be about used chewing gum. However, on the way home today, radio whiner Erick Erickson said that all americans must have opinions about a certain issue. Perhaps there is a connection between the two issues.
The ABC (already been chewed) gum was left in a urinal strainer this morning. The first reaction was to think that this was gross. The second thought is to wonder why urinals need strainers anyway. The original purpose was to keep cigarette butts out of the pipes. However, people go outside to smoke now. Maybe someone is worried about men doing number two standing up.
The strainer was from a supply company called Uline, and featured the company’s utilitarian logo. Another strainer if from the festively named Swisher brand. The Swisher strainer has the motto, “say no to drugs” printed on it. These are popular at bars, where men excrete used drugs on that phrase.
The story americans are required to care about is Louie Giglio, Pastor Under Fire For Anti-Gay Sermon, Withdraws From Obama Inauguration Ceremony. According to E.W. Erickson, the preacher gave a sermon, where he said to show love and compassion to gay people. However, the Bible says to oppose the “Gay Agenda,” whatever that is.
The speech was given a few years ago, when DADT was in effect. According to the magic book, gay people are not moral enough to go kill, for G-d and country. It is not known whether the men, women, and children killed by the armies of straight americans are gay, straight, or preadolescent.
How does this compare to a piece of ABC gum in a urinal strainer? Perhaps, like the strainer, the idea of having a prayer at a Presidential inauguration is obsolete. If we are an inclusive country, why was a professional Jesus worshiper chosen to say grace over the inauguration? Why not have a Muslim speak, or a Rabbi? It is always Christians who give these meaningless, symbolic prayers.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Wednesday
This is thursday, the day after wednesday. Yesterday was not a good morning. It began, as most working days do, in the kitchen at 530 am. The plan is to make breakfast, and take half for lunch.
Three potatoes were washed and sliced. Three carrots were washed and sliced. The remaining collards were washed. The water went to the garden. The potatoes and carrots went into a steamer. This is a marvel of food preparation, as long as you do two things. You need to set a timer, this morning for 44:44. Only one timer finger works before 6am. The second, and more critical step, is to turn the stove heat down to simmer.
During the 44:44, PG looked at the internet. He gave a one star rating to a Jesus worshiper who banned him from commenting. Facebook was given it’s due. Finally, the timer went off, and PG stumbled into the kitchen. What is that burning smell? Did the burner stay at top temperature? This might not be a good wednesday.
After a breakfast of oatmeal, profanity, and air freshener, PG drove the ten miles on I285 without incident. After an hour or so, it was time for another cup of coffee. Naturally, his portion was the last one available, and another pot needed to be made.
The plastic basket was pulled away from the machine. PG grabbed the edges of the filter, and picked it up. The intention was to deposit the old coffee in the trash can. The problem was in grasping the old filter too close to the edge. The filter tore, leaving PG pinching a bit of wet filter paper. The coffee grounds fell on the floor, the counter, the sink, the unwashed cups, and the side of the cabinet. Wednesday is supposed to be hump day, not dump day. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
Slow Children Playing
Chamblee54 is not too proud to recycle posts , often more than once . This one is about ugly. If you are looking for beauty, and her mouthy stepsister truth, then look elsewhere.
Beauty is skin deep. Ugly is to the bone.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ugly uses all five senses.
Rahsaan Roland Kirk: I don’t want to see you people, you are all too ugly.
Stevie Wonder: All I see are beautiful people.
Rahsaan Roland Kirk: You know, Stevie Wonder wants to make a lot of money, so he can have an operation and see.
Ray Charles: It’s crying time again.
She is so ugly, she could make a freight train take a dirt road.
He is so ugly, when he was born the doctor slapped his mother.
Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?
French for ugly is : laid m., laide f . Can we say irony?
There are some Jesus Worship blogs that PG likes to read. One of them recently made the lighthearted suggestion that ugly people were not welcome at the church of the other one. The recipient of this comment found this to be “the deeply offensive false accusation he keeps leveling at me.”
FromTheMorning is the one standing up for the pulchritude challenged. (Regrettably, From the Morning is no longer published.)
Pyromaniacs is the aggrieved party here. They say that ugly people “are not only welcome at my church; many of us actually participate in the ministry there”. PG believes you.
Ugly has another meaning. In fact, this is the first meaning PG heard for the U word, years before he connected it to people with unpleasant faces. It is about ugly behavior. People that are mean and cruel to each other. That is ugly.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘Beer ‘.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large kegs. ‘Beer ‘ is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of ‘Beer’ and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several applications of ‘Beer’, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with women to whom they would never normally be attracted. Men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’ . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after ‘Beer ‘ is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this ‘Beer ‘ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.
David Bowie
This is a repost. David Bowie is 66 today, and Elvis is 78, The Falcons are the number one seed in the NFC playoffs, and will play this weekend. Sarah Palin is obsolete.
A webpage called CaptainsDead has a download of a David Bowie concert, that can only be called a Christmas present. Most Bowie live recordings are pretty dull. While the Thin White Duke is renowned for his concerts, they tend to be live events, that depend on staging and costumes as much as music. This show, from 1974, is different. Focusing on material from “Diamond Dogs”, the sound he produces comes close to matching the studio sound, and in a few cases surpasses it.
The next move for Bowie in 1974 was the “white soul” sound of “Young Americans”. He is moving in that direction in this show, even while he lingers in the glitter apocalypse. This tour included a stop at the Fox Theater, the first Atlanta show for Mr.Bowie. On the way to Florida for the next show, the truck with the sets and costumes crashed into a swamp full of rattlesnakes. The show in Tampa was performed in street clothes.
Maybe it is time for a Chamblee54 tribute to David Bowie. The Falcons and the Saints is on the box, and hopefully the Falcons can quit fumbling and score some points. The Georgia Dome has not hosted that many concerts…hopefully, the era of concerts in football stadiums is fading away. (The Saints wound up winning. At least PG did not have to see the obnoxious “Rise Up” commercial.)
The first album by David Bowie that PG heard about was “Hunky Dory”. At the time, Mr. Bowie had generated some buzz by admitting that he fancies blokes, or some uber british expression for being queer. In time, this would be seen as more publicity stunt than brave confession. The RCA debut got some good reviews, but not much else.
The next year produced “Ziggy Stardust”, a concept album. At about this time he did a tour of the United States, with costumes and onstage antics that generated even more publicity. More and more people started listening, some in spite of his outrageous image, and quite a few more because of it. He broke up his band, the spiders from mars, and announced his retirement. The band learned about this while standing on stage behind him. Mr. Bowie, for all his genius, is not always a nice man.
In 1974 there was an album, “Diamond Dogs”, about the decadent urban life in the scifi future. A stage show based on this album…the source of the download mentioned above…marked a return to the concert stage. The next year gave us “Young Americans”, and the year after that “Station to Station”. Every year was a different sound and vision.
Meanwhile, the artist was not doing so good as a human being. According to all reports, he was doing mountains of cocaine. (There is a story of going to meet the parents of Ava Cherry, one of his girlfriends. He shows up at 3am, and does coke on the dining room table.) There was an interview in Playboy( or maybe it was Rolling Stone ) where the first thing he says is, don’t believe anything I say. He went on to say that he admired Adolf Hitler. Have we mentioned the physical appearance of David Bowie in 1975? He looked like he was dead, and nobody bothered to tell him.( By contrast, in recent photo collections of rock stars, Mr. Bowie looks pretty good for a man who is 63 y.o.)
This was the era of Rocky Horror show. At one point, Riff Raff sings (Tim O’Brien wrote the show, and gave himself some darn good lines ) Frank n furter, it’s all over, your mission is a failure, your lifestyle’s too extreme.I’m your new commander you now are my prisoner we return to transylvania prepare the transit beam While this may not have been directed at David Bowie, he took the hint.
We interrupt this David Bowie tribute with an emergency announcement. The new orleans quarterback likes to make these silly little passes when he is in trouble. The falcons just intercepted one, and ran it back for a touchdown.
So David Bowie saw himself at a dead end, and possibly a dead life. He moved into a little apartment in West Berlin, on top of a garage. Brian Eno offered his assistance, and a series of electronic albums was the result. The next few years saw rock and roll, dance music, and finally, crap. PG bought a Bowie album in 1984, the first time he saw it on sale, and was immensely disappointed. The last David Bowie album that PG got was a free cd that was given to people buying a magazine.
Around 1981, MTV was born, and radio was suddenly obsolete. A visual artiste like David Bowie was a natural for video. Unfortunately, many of these videos are not available for embedding in blogs. Ashes to Ashes was a staple of early MTV. Boys Keep Swinging , off the “Lodger” album, is a return to the gender bender Bowie of younger days.
David Bowie continued to do tours, and PG got to see two of the shows. In 1987, something called the “Glass Spider Tour” came to the Omni. (In a later interview, it turns out Mr. Bowie was extremely unhappy during this tour, and close to suicide at some points.) The Glass Spider was this mass of lighting effects that hovered over the stage, and was used to best advantage during “Scary Monsters”. The show featured Peter Frampton on guitar, and had a pack of dancers. (One apparent female took her drag off during the finale.) A good time was had by all.
In 1990, another retirement tour came to the Omni. This one had movies projected on a screen behind the stage, and featured guitar hero Adrian Bellew. The night had the feel of a contractual obligation. David Bowie is too professional to give a bad show, but this one did not have the fire of “Glass Spider”. PG had a new set of contact lenses, and his eyes were painfully dry most of the night.
This is a repost.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Tag some others who might enjoy this. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Re-post as “my life according to (band name)”Pick your Artist: David Bowie
Are you a male or female: The Bewley Brothers
Describe yourself: Quicksand
How do you feel:Always crashing in the same car
Describe where you currently live: Life on Mars
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Width of a circle
Your favorite form of transportation: Queen Bitch
Your best friend is: Young Americans
You and your best friends are: Kooks
What’s the weather like: Changes
Favorite time of day: Eight Line Poem
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Scary Monsters
What is life to you: Panic in Detroit
Your relationship: Fame
Your fear: Sound and Vision
What is the best advice you have to give:Somebody up there likes me
Thought for the Day: Hang onto yourself
How I would like to die: Ashes to Ashes
My soul’s present condition: Moonage Daydream
My motto: Andy Warhol
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