Poetry Saves Time
There is another Marilyn Monroe story floating around. “Someone told me that Marilyn Monroe once remarked that she enjoyed reading poetry “because it saves time.” I like this quotation so much that I’ve never dared to confirm it; I’d feel disenchanted to learn it was bogus.”
Poetry Daily seems to think the quote is legitimate. “That great aesthete and reader Marilyn Monroe once said: “I read poetry because it saves time.” In the age of Twitter, and other tweet-like utterances from all sorts of birdies, not to mention attention deficit disorder on an epidemic national scale, it’s refreshing to find poetry that both saves time and enlarges it. “
PG applied the wikiquotes test. Miss Monroe said in Look Magazine, March 5, 1957, “I’ve been on a calendar, but never on time.” Many people who worked with her agree.
Wikiquots also has a telegram, sent to Bobby and Ethel Kennedy. Marilyn was widely rumored to be seeing Bobby. This was a few weeks before her untimely death. “”I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.” (Telegram from Marilyn Monroe declining a party invitation from Bobby and Ethel Kennedy. June 13, 1962.)
A google investigation into the poetry quote led to Did Marilyn Monroe really say all those philosophical quotes? This is in DataLounge, where you “… get your fix of gay gossip, news and pointless bitchery.” The question on top of the thread was “I notice that the must fucked up of my female friends absolutely worship Marilyn Monroe, and are forever quoting her. What’s up with that, and are all those quotes real?? by: Mrs. Johnstone”
There are 148 comments in the thread. Some say Marilyn was an airhead, and some say she was bright. There are some quotes, many of which are probably made up. There is a letter, supposedly written to Albert Einstein. Shelly Winters says the two might have had a special relationship.
“Were I to pursue physics instead of my first love, acting, I would attempt to solve these problems by understanding the reason for these discrete energy states, which are probably due to the fact that standing waves only exist at discrete frequencies. My theory would predict that energy exchanges will be discrete, as observed;… But as I said, I want to be an actress.”
Once, on the set of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell discussed embryological parallelism. Marilyn Monroe: Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Jane Russell: I was about to say the same thing.
One of the comments had a link to a fun story. Film legend Marilyn Monroe went to bed with fellow actress Joan Crawford – but the lesbian sexual experience only reaffirmed her attraction to men. Monroe left Joan gasping for more liaisons, much to Marilyn’s chagrin. Monroe described the encounter herself in conversations taped by her psychiatrist Dr. Ralph Greeson, recordings which were obtained by the Los Angeles Times newspaper from former prosecutor John Miner, who helped investigate her death. Monroe said, “We went to Joan’s bedroom… Crawford had a gigantic orgasm and shrieked like a maniac. “Next time I saw Crawford she wanted another round. I told her straight I didn’t much enjoy doing it with a woman.”
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. HT to Andrew Sullivan.
Douche
Backstory recently presented a feature, Rinse and Repeat: Cleanliness in America. As the title might suggest, it is about cleanliness. The location of this concept with regard to G-dliness was not discussed. While researching this story, a listener named Micheal Gambil sent a letter to the studio. This letter was read as part of the broadcast.
“This one is going to be great! My comment/suggestion may sound a little strange, but I was having a talk with my 70 year old aunt regarding female hygiene recently. She is still a believer in what is known as doucheing. YUCK! It got awkward…but it really made me think about the history of “lady products”. Flower scented sprays etc…I think there has been change on this issue. Or not…maybe it is just me and my quasi-hippy friends!”
Douching became popular in the nineteenth century. It was originally thought to be useful as contraception. As other methods of controlling fertility became available, douching became more of a cosmetic item. The corporate marketers are good at creating demand for a product.
More recently, the dangers of using this product have come to light. This awareness came into public consciousness at roughly the same time that douche started to be used as an insult. No one knows if the two developments are connected.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is written like David Foster Wallace.
What American Accent Do You Have?
One of those quiz websites has a feature, What American accent do you have? The page is sponsored by Delta and Georgia Natural Gas. There is something icky about those two sharing a link.
The quiz is 13 questions. Most of them give you two words, like cot/caught and don/dawn. You are asked in they sound the same, different, and “Same, no wait I mean different, well, I don’t know…” Other pairs include stock/stalk, collar/caller, pen/pin, and feel/fill.
The result was the South. “That’s a Southern accent you’ve got there. You may love it, you may hate it, you may swear you don’t have it, but whatever the case, we can hear it.” The answers matched 84%.
Curiously, the answers given today were an 81% match for Philadelphia and The Midland. The biggest difference was with Boston (26%) and North Central(20%).
That was so much fun, PG decided to take another one. Youthink has “version 4 of the famous quiz that tells you what accent you have. But it still won`t tell you if you have a Pittsburgh or Vermont accent (sorry).” This one is also sponsored by the gruesome twosome, Delta and Georgia Natural Gas.
The second result was Neutral. You`re not Northern, Southern, or Western, you`re just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don`t really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up."
A third alternative is What Kind of American English Do You Speak? This is sponsored by Methproject.org, which should get you up to speed. This is 20 multiple choice questions, like “You call sweetened, carbonated beverages: Coke Soda Pop.”
This quiz said that the tongue spoken here is General American English. This was a 55% match. Other scores include: 30% Dixie, 10% Yankee, 5% Upper Midwestern, 0% Midwestern. These results are followed by a link: “God chose your birthday for a reason. Instantly learn 12 shocking secrets your birthday reveals about your future!”
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. This is written like Dan Brown.
Having An Unusual Name
PG would rather work on his computer than watch the oscars. This is a choice. It is made less dangerous by facebook, which can alert PG to every twitch of the ism police. It seems like some racist, sexist, misogynist, and ablist things were said Sunday night. PG would be a terrible person if he were not offended by this behavior.
One of the players is Quvenzhané Wallis, who is getting scads of career boost at the moment. Some speakers did not want to pronounce her name, and got in trouble as a result.
An observer throws this opinion out there: “Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right … Give your children difficult names, so the world may learn how to unfurl its tongue in the direction of our stolen languages.”
PG was known for most of his life as Cam. This is short for Campbell, his middle name. Whenever he was introduced to someone, he had to explain this name. Yes, it is just like a car cam, whatever that is. No, it is not Cal or Kim. It is Cam, C A M. After a while, it became a giant pain in the ass.
The parents responsible for this are kind, loving people. People make mistakes. Who knows what they were thinking when they decided to name their firstborn after an automobive part.
So, go ahead and give your baby an “unusual” name. They might like it. It may also be a source of embarrassment. Being a living human being is tough business. Giving an kid a weird name just might make it a bit tougher. It might be a very selfish thing to do.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Bathtubs In The US Capitol
Two days ago, 99invisible posted a show, The Bathtubs or the Boiler Room . It seems as though an NPR reporter likes to go places she is not supposed to be in. In the basement of the US Capitol, she found a bathtub, carved out of a chunk of Italian marble.
“The bathtubs were installed around 1860 during the expansion of the Capitol. DC is known for its swampy summers, and legend has it that senators could be banished from the chamber if they were too smelly. But lawmakers—like most Americans at the time—didn’t have indoor plumbing at home. They needed a place where they could wash up. So, the Architect of the Capitol ordered six marble bath tubs, each three by seven feet and carved by hand in Italy, to be installed in the Capitol basement—three on the House side, three on the senate.”
The tubs were imported from Italy, and sent to the port of Baltimore. They arrived just in time for the War Between The States. They were quite a luxurious item. Today, they are forgotten, surrounded by HVAC machines, with one covered with plywood and file cabinets.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
Listen To The Gut
There is a festive graphic going around on facebook. It is about bullying, which no one is going to say they like. Like gossiping, it is a custom which few will admit to, but many practice. The definition is elastic, and gets bigger every day.
PG agrees with the first part of the graphic. He has been humiliated by Jesus worshipers. The problem with the graphic is the last two sentences. “Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won’t, but repost this if you’re that 1% with a heart.” Can we say passive aggressive bullying? 
The good news is that what can be displayed can be altered. A few minutes with an image manipulation program, and you can doctor the graphic into a more palatable message. It still goes on too long, but that is a problem for someone else. If you want to see the uncensored graphic, go here.
Teddy Roosevelt is a popular former POTUS. He reportedly was fond of saying “bully”. Only that isn’t what he really said. The rough rider used an eight letter word for bovine excrement.
It is said that if a man isn’t a liberal when he is twenty, he doesn’t have a heart, and if he is not a conservative when he is forty he doesn’t have a brain. PG is moving in on twenty plus forty. The possession of a heart, and a brain, is uncertain.
What is evident beyond doubt is the ownership of a gut. When someone tells PG to repost a message to prove he is not a terrible person, it does not agree with his gut.
This is written like H. P. Lovecraft. Pictures are by Chamblee54.
The Grease Of G-d
A longtime friend of PG wrote: The death of Mindy McCready has given me pause to stop and think. I wonder who thought it would be okay for a grieving woman with suicidal tendencies to stay in a house where her significant other killed himself just a month before? I read an outcry by people who blamed the lack of gun control as the cause. Her weapon of choice was not a gun, it was her depression. If pills had been close I guarantee she would have chosen that path of destruction taken to it’s end result. When she was thrown in jail for her drug fueled probation violation, I knew that was not the action to take. But who am I to say anything other than, but by the grace of God, there could go I.
To begin with, PG does not follow country music. The first time he had heard of Mindy McCready was the news of her suicide. It is like turning the tv onto a movie in the last five minutes.
That said, and with a certain ignorance of the story affirmed, there are a few comments springing out of the discussion. One is the comparison of guns to pills. Most pills have a medical purpose. The misuse of these substances through self medication seems to happen, no matter how many rules get made. A pistol, on the other hand, is designed to kill or intimidate.
A pistol is much more efficient at delivering death than a pill bottle. Yes, excessive consumption of substances can lead to an early grave, but there is always the chance that you can sober up, get detoxed, and live a few more decayed decades. If you decide that your troubles are too much, and you use a pistol, then the odds of recovery are slim. It should be noted that the judgement used to make this decision is often clouded by the pills in question. The decision to end your life is usually not made with a clear head.
There was one more saying that caught PG… “but by the grace of G-d, there could go I.” As readers of Chamblee54 know, PG has conflicted views about G-d. Religion can be a source of misery, and making excuses for the spirit at the center can get old.
There is another, broader view of this saying. If you see G-d as being the feng shui of the planet, then it makes a bit more sense. PG has taken more than his share of chances. Some of them have been incredibly foolish. He has been caught a few times. Still, he is here, writing this post, fifty nine years after it started. Maybe it is the grease of G-d that lubricates life, so that the gears continue to turn.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Liberal Conservative
Liberal and conservative are meaningless labels.
This is true with capital, or small letters.
The use of these words as insults says more about the talker,
than the object of derision.
The same goes for terrorist.
Hypocrisy is in the eye of the beholder.
Better To Be Hated
“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.”
Kurt Cobain is credited with that quote, and he may have been coherent enough to say it at one time or another. A French author named André Gide said it, and is given “credit”. Maybe Mr. Cobain gets the debit. Mr. Cobain played electric guitar better than Mr. Gide, who was not married to Courtney Love.
PG is not so sure about this quote. Being hated gets old, even if you still have your wonderful integrity to be proud of. There is also the possibility that are are being hated for what you are. You might think you are hated because of your idealism, when in fact people are tired of you stealing money to buy drugs.
There is a difference between true wisdom and a clever turn of words. This is the case when these wonderful words are set in sans serif glory against the Northwest sky, with Kurt Cobain wondering where his next fix is coming from.
Heteroflexible
There was a discussion group in a Buckhead home, and a young lady with spiked shoes spoke. (She does not play soccer in those shoes.) After a word about the monagamish relationship with her bf, she described herself as heteroflexible.
There are words that cause brain damage when you first encounter them. Heteronormative comes to mind. After the group, PG asked Mr. Google about heteroflexible. It turns out Salon has a dandy feature on this word. It might surprise you that this piece was written in 2000. The tide of heteroflexibility has been slowly creeping in for twelve years.
There is nothing like teaching college students to make a person feel hopelessly out-of-date. This fact first hit me at the tender age of 30. I was teaching what I thought was the hippest version of sociology imaginable. As part of my haute hipness, I had included readings on Elvis Presley. None of the students, however, had the faintest idea who Elvis Presley was. One thought that he might have been an actor. Another said she thought he had invented a diet because he had always been fat.
The generation gap between the students and me was bad enough, but then my teaching assistant, a nice man who was neither as young as they nor as old as I, decided to help me communicate more effectively the King’s cultural significance. “Elvis Presley,” he explained to the students, “was someone our parents used to listen to. He sang this stuff called rock ‘n’ roll. It came before rap music.” The students nodded their heads, as if they had just remembered that rap music did not always exist. I shook mine, having realized for the first time that Elvis really was dead. …
But now it’s not just popular culture that divides us. It’s sexuality as well. Oh I don’t mean straight, gay or bi. I don’t even mean queer. What I’m talking about here is heteroflexibility. If you don’t know what that is, it’s time to admit that you’re as out of it as I am. Heteroflexibility is the newest permutation of sexual identity. According to my students, a person uses heteroflexibility in the first person, as in “I’m heteroflexible.” This means that the person has or intends to have a primarily heterosexual lifestyle, with a primary sexual and emotional attachment to someone of the opposite sex. But that person remains open to sexual encounters and even relationships with persons of the same sex. ….
My reaction was predictable. I was ashamed of my own inability to stay current, and I was also deeply pissed. How could these kids go and invent yet another identity when “we” solved that problem for them in the 1980s and ’90s? The word they were looking for was “queer” or even “bisexual,” damnit. I was angry that they would throw out the politics and the struggles of naming that had come before them. And what did they throw it out for? A monstrosity of a word, a mix of sexology and yoga practices.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This was written like William Gibson.
Random Stranger
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: helllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppppppppppp
Stranger: im bored
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: omg im gonna cry
Stranger: that poor tortoise is gonna die )):
Stranger: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME??@?!?!?!
Stranger: NOW IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK
You: but we can make soup from her
Stranger: you btich
Stranger: hes a boy
Stranger: i spelled bitch wrong
Stranger: woops
You: ok so we still make soup from him
Stranger: THATS CANABILISM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: bc im hungry and turtles are in season
You: how did it get on his back?
Stranger: I kicked it
You: what did he do to you?
Stranger: raped my pet rabbit
You: was that the rabbit he was going to have a race with?
Stranger: no that was her husband
You: sounds like an unnatural act would that turtle make good soup?
Stranger: yesh
You: is there any other way to eat turtle than making soup? Maybe a turtle salad
Stranger: or flambeau
You: are you a turtle?
Stranger: no
You: good i hate talking to turtles
Stranger: me too
You: thank you for your help
Stranger: of course
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: mmm… let me think
You: thinking is a dangerous activity
Stranger: well you are right
Stranger: but
Stranger: some times if you dont think enought you may die
You: getting back to the turtle
Stranger: ok
Stranger: it is a selfish person
Stranger: who dont care about other people
Stranger: well, in the lines you write, im the selfish guy
You: or maybe you prefer shrimp, and you are a shellfish guy
Stranger: hahahahahahahaha
Stranger: well i like shrimps, so, yes maby im a shelfish ;)
Stranger: and what are you?
Stranger: maby an owl
You: i am betting on the rabbit to win
You: and letting the turtle lay on his back increases the chance of that happening
Stranger: well, yes
Stranger: how ever, the rabbit is faster than the turtle
You: and tastier, and reproduces much much more
Stranger: lolol
You: i gotta run thanks for your help+
Stranger: no problem ;)
Stranger: run fast!
You: slow and steady wins the race
Stranger: that is how the tale end’s, so…?
Stranger: the turtle wins and the rabbit loose
Stranger: just for curosity, are you male or female?
You: male
Stranger: i think so lol
Stranger: well, see you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Voight-Kampff Test
A facebook friend posted this: “New hobby: giving chat bots a Voight-Kampff test. It goes something like this: “hey stud u wnt 2 see my webcam XOXOX???” “A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?”
The VK test is designed to determine if someone is a human being, or another critter imitating a human. Once, Batman had a simple test for telling if someone was human or robot. He told the being a super funny joke. BM knew that robots don’t have a sense of humor. When the body inhabitant did not respond to the humor, BM knew it was a robot.
OK Cupid has a device, The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test. “A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies…or does it? Can you prove your human, or even “more than human”? Pass, and you’ll be given your freedom; fail, and you just might get “aired out”. Reaction time is a factor in this.
The quiz is a number of multiple choice questions about the movie “Blade Runner”. Here are two.
6- What film had Harrison Ford finished before he began working on Blade Runner?
The Empire Strikes Back ~ Mosquito Coast
he was still working as a carpenter, like Jesus ~ Raiders of the Lost Ark
9- What does the Voight-Kampff machine register?
sexual preference ~ it’s a lie detector ~ psychic ability ~ empathy
There are 45 questions. PG has never seen “Blade Runner”, so he gave what seemed like reasonable answers. There was an opportunity to sign up for OK Cupid. PG chose to get the answers only.
Your result for The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test … Nexus 4.5. It’s too bad she won’t live, but then again who does? If you know what a Spinner is, and understand the implications of memory transfer, you are on your way! But you still have some distance to go. Mabey you can be trusted with designing eyes for “skin jobs”. You scored 43% on Blade points, higher than 8% of your peers.
This was written like Isaac Asimov. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The test is not connected to actor Jon Voight.
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