Chamblee54

A recent chamblee54 post ended with a reference to The Huffington Post. In a moment of weakness, PG called the internet facility Puffington Host. It made a clever title for about an hour, when it occurred to ask Mr. Google what he thought. It seems like other people have thought that Puff Ho is a good title.
The top result at google is usually paid for. Today it is The Puffington Host “The internet rolling paper news blog video cannmunity.” This is a festive website about marijuana. It has a header ad for a hydroponic growing system.
Blogspot has it’s own version of the HP trope. In the best blogspot tradition, there was only one post. “Bare Breasts and Wankery on Sunday is Dead! Long live Bare Breasts and Wankery on a Sunday! P.S. Now that ‘South Sudan’ is officially taken, I need a new nickname for my penis. I originally chose ‘South Sudan’ because of its location on the body and its tragic history.” There were no comments.
This is one idea for a post that ran out of steam early. Perhaps we should include a link from the Daily Bleach, 10 Females Who are Forcing Your Son to Masturbate. Michelle Obama is included, to the envy of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Just to show a lack of media bias, DB reports Did Joe Biden Laugh During The VP Debate to Cover the Sound of Him Farting?
For peachy purple prose, it is tough to top The 5 Most Dangerous Homosexuals in America. The winner if Joe Jervis of JoeMyGod. This is something, considering what is in fourth place.
#4: Any Black Gay Man. … “You will never see a black gay during the day time, as they fair losing ‘street credit’, but be sure when their skin is cloaked by the night skin, their homosexual urges come alive, just like how a werewolf rips itself from the human flesh once the moon’s light shines on it.”
A commenter, Gary Buttchug, added: “I am not gay, and I think just because anyone sucks a few other dudes off, people should not lump them in with the regular homosexuals. I hate it when people do that to me.” OK, so this satire is in bad taste. Maybe it is time to paste in a story from facebook.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon’s office. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..”How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something. “The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.” The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.

When you get start to follow links on the innertubes, there is no telling where you will wind up. Today’s rabbit hole started with Peach Pundit.
It seems that Kevin Bacon made a video about reproductive rights. Six degree dude mentions a “Lawmaker in Georgia calling women farm animals”. This is supposed to make people angry enough to sign an online petition.
Here is the speech that Terry England gave to the lesterslature. Dr. England is a veterinarian, and talked about the heartbreak of delivering a stillborn cow. Next, there is a discussion with a “salt of the earth” person. “You tell those folks down there, when they quit killing babies, they can have every chicken I’ve got” Dr. England notes “If that don’t put it in perspective for you real quick, your bread ain’t gonna rise and your eggs ain’t gonna cook”. This leads into a bit of talk about abortion.
The last quote is from the book of Jeremiah. “He doesn’t stutter, he doesn’t stammer”. The quote Dr. England uses was “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee.”
Peach Pundit says that Kevin Bacon quotes Terry England out of context, and perhaps he does. Quoting out of context is a rhetorical tradition, beloved by both liberals and conservatives. The bible is quoted out of context all the time.
In his speech before the lesterslature, Dr. England did not read the entire bible verse. The complete verse of Jeremiah 1:5 is “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”
It seems that Jeremiah is some sort of minister. (Note: PG is not a bible scholar, and this interpretation might not be good enough for some people.) The next few verses are fun.
6 Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child. 7 But the LORD said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. 8 Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD. 9 Then the LORD put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth.
So, the person G-d knew before birth was a minister. Jeremiah was not a cow, a pig, nor abortion collateral damage.
One thing that liberal actors have in common with Georgia lawmakers is saying foolish things. Whether they are in or out of context, these ravings should be taken with a bit of independent thought. You should beware of people trying to get you fired up.
On March 22, PG wrote Corruption In Georgia. The comments of Dr. England are discussed. The post has a link to a site called Atlanta Unfiltered. PG does not visit AU regularly, but decided to drop in.
AU has an amusing post. Report: Paul Broun among ‘most corrupt’ Congress-persons. Dr. Broun was in the news recently about his “testimony” in a Baptist church.
This was written like William Shakespeare. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

Dr. Paul Broun is the Republican Congressman from Georgia’s Tenth District. He recently gave a testimony at Liberty Baptist Church, in Hartwell, GA. Here is the headline quote:
G-d’s word is true. I’ve come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior. You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.
The testimony was delivered at “Hitting the Mark” Sportsman Banquet, Thursday, September 27, 2012. “There were Giveaways & Door Prizes including: GUNS & SPORTS-RELATED GIFT CERTIFICATES.” Dr. Broun’s 47 minute speech is available here.
The first twenty minutes of his remarks are about hunting. Dr. Broun shows slides of trophies. There is a bear he killed in Alaska. There are two lions that he killed in Africa. The second lion was leaping towards him when Dr. Broun shot it in the face. “I believe G-d directed that bullet.”(20:55)
The next part is his own story. Dr. Broun went to services at “two major denominations” as a child. (Neither wikipedia nor his congressional bio give denominational details.) Dr. Broun said he was sprinkled on the head as a small child. Later in his remarks, he says Pastors who baptize children in this manner are sending them to hell. (34:13)
When he got a bit older, Paul Broun left the church. He joined the Marine reserves, and did not go to Vietnam. He became a Doctor, got divorced three times, and said he was living for himself. His fourth marriage was not working. He saw a football game, and saw a man holding a John 3:16 sign. There was a Gideons bible in the waiting room of his office. (Wikipedia says his practice was exclusively house calls.) Dr. Broun read the bible, and asked G-d to straighten out his life. Once again, he was living for himself. He became a Christian.
He worked up to his headline quote by talking about his recent deployment to Afghanistan. Dr. Broun is in the reserves, and was sent to Afghanistan for 47 days to work in hospitals. It would be interesting to know how much it cost the government to send a 66 year old congressman to Afghanistan for 47 days.
There was an Afghan soldier who was injured by an IED. His sternum stopped the flak from going into his thoracic cavity. Dr. Broun said this was an example of the wonderful design that G-d had for the human body. He did not mention why these bombs were being set off eleven years after nine eleven.
At the 42 minute mark of his testimony, Dr. Broun led a prayer. He asked for anyone who had prayed to Jesus to change their life to raise their hand. “You are holding up your hand to G-d”
Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. This was written like Kurt Vonnegut.

A facebook friend gave PG the link to a video, The Power of Parable , and set some events into motion. It did not end well.
TPOP is an interview with Peter Rollins. He says that “a parable tries to get beyond something in the head, and rupture something in the heart.” A parable is like a painting, with a different meaning every time you look at it. It should make you think, it should move and transform you. A parable ” is not giving water to those who are thirsty, it is giving them salt to make them thirsty.”
PG had been thinking of the story of The Prodigal Son , and decided to publish this story on his blog. He found the text, in Luke 15. PG’s late father was named Luke.
The story of The Prodigal Son (a phrase that does not appear in Luke 15) had long been a favorite of PG. It is about family, acceptance, forgiveness, and welcome. The disgust that PG feels for the abusive ways of Jesus worshipers does not affect his enjoyment of this story.
At about this time, PG saw a comment thread at a blog . The writer of this blog, ZSB, had butted heads with PG before. A few comments were made, including one snide remark by Frank Turk. For some reason, PG decided to send a link to The Prodigal Son , The story was about forgiveness and kindness, and PG hoped to build a bridge.
ZSB … Chamblee, I like the photos (although, as usual, they seem unlrelated to the post), am ambivalent about the video,dig the rainbow-text effect, and LOVE the words contained in the text… but what on earth does it have to do with this post or this meta? Oh, wait, I get it—you’re further showcasing how the Internet often fosters random non-sequitur-style communication. September 15, 2011 3:27 PM
chamblee54 …. 1- I did not read the complete dialog. I seldom have the patience for long discussions like this. When I saw the comment “G-d has given us a perfect bible”, I realized that this was built on a shaky foundation. I simply do not agree with that concept. 2- The story that I used is The prodigal son. It is about not giving up on people. It is about not labeling someone a troll, and ignoring everything they say. I see that as highly relevant to the dialog between Mr. Turk and myself. 3- I linked to a video in the story. It is a monolog about the value of parables. It is about taking a text and thinking about the many different meanings that it can have. This is different from calling this text the “word of G-d”, and saying that it has a literal meaning. The story of the prodigal son can have many meanings. 4- The Prodigal Son was a parable. It was a made up story, used to teach a lesson. When you call a text a literal piece of work, you contradict the nature of parables. The Prodigal Son story may have happened, or may not have. This is beside the point to the overall story. 5- The video is a song by Tom Waits. While not a direct cause and effect companion to the story, there is a connection. Whatever happens to little boys who never comb their hair? September 15, 2011 3:42 PM
ZSB … Chamblee54 said… “. [The Prodigal Son] is about not giving up on people. It is about not labeling someone a troll, and ignoring everything they say. ”
Um, no. No, a thousand times no! That is not what the Lord’s parable of the lost son is about. Look at the context. It’s about salvation. It’s about something you won’t hear because you’re tripped up by the words “God has given us a perfect Bible.” Reject it, laugh at it, spit on it, but don’t turn it into a benign little collection of nice-isms that you can live with, because, while it doesn’t harm God’s Word, it makes you look silly to do so. September 15, 2011 4:27 PM
chamblee54 … My point exactly. A parable is like a poem … it should have a different meaning every time you hear it. When you take an allegory, and call it a literal work, you are not always going to have the “correct” interpretation.
This story was written by someone. It was written many years after Jesus had his ministry. It was translated at least twice. It was copied by hand, probably more than once. It was compiled into a book by the council of nicea. This is not a copy/paste of a word document written by Jesus.
But, when someone disagrees with your view, and you have a hissy fit, then it makes YOU look silly. September 15, 2011 5:01 PM
ZSB … Okay, I’ve dealth with the tired, ill-founded claim of “twice-translated” words of Jesus, allegedly far-removed from his ministry here . And parables aren’t allegory. Fairly common rookie mistake.
And this comment thread is actually about the subject of the blogpost. Like all of my blog comment threads, it’s not about your beef (and borderline obsession) with Frank Turk.
Comment thread is now un-hijacked. i.e. all comments unrelated to the post (paticularly by those who admit to not having read it) will be deleted post-haste. That is all. September 15, 2011 5:15 PM
PG was had many ups and downs with Jesus. Some of the bad experiences were not his fault. In this case, he should have known better. You don’t discuss poetry with Jesus worshipers, at least ones who care mostly about life after death. It is a “fairly common rookie mistake”. Jesus was spoiled for PG a while back. This visit was a reminder. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.

There are a lot of lips moving about the “Tea Party” these days. Many of the party people are Jesus Worshipers, who believe that the Bible is the word of G-d. While this belief is not required to join the party, it is very, very helpful. Probably, very few tea partiers are Muslims, who believe the Koran to be the word of G-d. Whatever the phrasing, these three movements are real to those who believe.
PG watches from the sidelines. He feels that practice is more important than belief. PG sees Jesus in the words and deeds of those who worship Jesus. (Is this worship a violation of the first commandment? That is another issue for another day.)
This hobby blogger drinks a lot of tea, favoring the cheapest brand available. Put two bags in a pitcher, heat the water for ten minutes, and pour the water over the bags. Sugar gets in the way of the taste, and lemons are too much work. You make the next pitcher of tea when you pour the last glass. What this custom has to do with politics or religion is a matter for those with a philosophical bent.
A blogger named Frank Turk made a video. There were 86 comments. Mr. Turk makes the comment in this video that Jesus is a real person. This is different from PG’s view, which is that Jesus is a spirit that lives in the hearts of those who worship him. To PG, this spirit has almost no relation to the person reputed to live in Palestine 2100 years ago.
In the video, Mr. Turk tells a story about tea parties becoming real . ” My brother-in-law David tells a story about the first time he visited Boston. David’s ex-military, and He says that he can remember all through school people told him about American history — about the events that happened that caused us to be a country, the list of facts. But in Boston, he found himself out in the harbor looking down into the water, and when he looked into the water and out at the harbor he realized: “Wow. This is were they dropped the tea into the harbor.” And at that moment, all those men and all the stories about them weren’t just facts or true statements anymore: the real people became obvious to him, and it changed the way he thought about our country and his part in it.”
Politics and religion are emotional affairs. Some sayings resonate, and some do not. This feature is about the concept of “real”. How political movements are based on events that only marginally relate to the movement, but make a statement that you feel in your gut. How religious movements worship a figure who has been distorted to mean what the believer wants him to mean. About how you know something is “real”.
First, the present day tea party, and the events in Boston Harbor December 16, 1773. PG wrote about the original Tea Party earlier in 2010. In the ecologically sound tradition of recycling your own work, here is what he found.
The namesake event was the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, crowds of people (some dressed as Mohawks) went on board the Dartmouth, the Eleanor, and the Beaver. The crowds threw overboard 342 chests, containing 90,000 pounds of tea. The crowds were unhappy because the East India Company was importing the tea into America, with a 3 pence per pound tax. (It is not known how the imitation Mohawks cut their hair.)
A website called listverse plays the contrarian. “American colonists did not protest the Tea Tax with the Boston Tea Party because it raised the price of tea. The American colonists preferred Dutch tea to English tea. The English Parliament placed an embargo on Dutch tea in the colonies, so a huge smuggling profession developed. To combat this, the English government LOWERED the tax on tea so that the English tea would be price competitive with Dutch teas. The colonists (actually some colonists led by the chief smugglers) protested by dumping the tea into Boston Harbor.”
According to Wikipedia, the Dutch tea had been smuggled into the colonies for some time. The Dutch government had given their companies a tax advantage, which allowed them to sell their product cheaper. Finally, the British government cut their taxes, but kept a tax in place. The “Townsend Tax” was to be used to pay governing colonial officials, and make them less dependent on the colonists.
In Charleston, New York, and Philadelphia, the tea boats were turned around, and returned to England with their merchandise. In Massachusetts, Governor Thomas Hutchinson insisted that the tea be unloaded. Two of the Governor’s sons were tea dealers, and stood to make a profit from the taxed tea. There are also reports that the smugglers were in the crowd dumping tea into the harbor.
Smugglers, a corrupt colonial governor, and peaceful solutions at the other major harbors. Is this the story Glenn Beck is crying about? Or has he taken a dramatic moment from history, and exploited it for his own purposes?
In a similar fashion, modern Jesus worshipers have taken a figure from the past, and created a spirit in his name. The history of Jesus is much further in the past than the Boston Tea Party, and much less is known. There are those who say the Bible is the word of G-d, and can be trusted to tell the facts about Jesus. Others are much less certain.
So, when did Jesus finally become real to PG? The watershed incident took place in the spring of 1999. By this time, PG had decided that he did not agree with the two key beliefs of Jesus worship…that the Bible is the word of G-d, and that belief in Jesus will affect what happens when you die. It was becoming apparent to PG that Jesus was different things to different people, and that not all of them were good. You need to trust your eyes, ears, and soul.
The incident took place at PG’s place of employment, a business we will call redo blue. A co worker was a Bully for Jesus. The BFJ was an angry man, given to temper tantrums, where he used Jesus to hurt people. On this day, the BFJ shouted down and humiliated PG.
When the tirade was over, PG started to run a job. BFJ took a phone call, and screamed “I never felt better in my life”. In that instant, Jesus became real to PG.
This is a repost of a feature originally published two years ago. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. The tea party is still boiling water, although their influence in the upcoming election may not be apparent. PG drinks more green tea than caffeine enhanced, and continues to be alienated from Jesus. Frank Turk is still in business. PG has a facebook friend called “Sweet Tea”. This post is not about her.