Coat Of Many Colors
This feature was originally posted last august. The first part was about the 2012 election. At the time where Mr. Romney was taken seriously. Out of kindness to the readers, that part has been left out today. The pictures, from The Library of Congress, are a year older. Dolly Parton is a year younger.
When PG saw this, he thought about the song, “Coat of many colors”. The b side was by Porter Wagoner, “Coat of many sequins”. COMC is about a woman who is too poor to buy her little girl a coat at the store, so she makes a quilt. The other kids make fun of her, but little Dolly knows that the coat is really made of love. Mitt Romney never had a coat of many colors.
The song talks about a story in the Bible. PG had heard about the story, but didn’t remember the details. He must have been daydreaming in Sunday School when that story was taught. With the help of google, Genesis 37 appears, as if by magic. Pass the popcorn.
2 These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.
4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.
Ok, hold on for a minute. Israel had at least two wives. The Biblical definition of marriage must be between a man and two women.
The story gets a bit weird here. Joseph has this dream, where he becomes the boss hog brother. The other brothers decide something needs to be done, that Joseph needs to die. Reuben tries to help Joseph, and has a plan to save him. Joseph is stripped of the coat of many colors, and placed in a pit, with no water. Before Reuben can sneak Joseph out of the pit, a camel caravan comes by. Twenty pieces of silver change hands, and Joseph is sold into slavery. The brothers decide to pull a cover up, and make it look like Joseph was dead. Reuben made another sandwich.
31 And they took Joseph’s coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood;
32 And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son’s coat or no.
33 And he knew it, and said, It is my son’s coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.
34 And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.
35 And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.
The Tin Soldiers
1 And G-d spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the LORD thy G-d, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt,
out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other G-ds before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them:
for I the LORD thy G-d am a jealous G-d,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy G-d in vain;
for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy G-d: in it thou shalt not do any work,
nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle,
nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is,
and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father and thy mother:
that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy G-d giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15 Thou shalt not steal.
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife,
nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
18 And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet,
and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.
19 And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear:
but let not G-d speak with us, lest we die.
20 And Moses said unto the people, Fear not:
for G-d is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.
21 And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where G-d was.
22 And the LORD said unto Moses, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of Israel,
Ye have seen that I have talked with you from heaven.
23 Ye shall not make with me G-ds of silver, neither shall ye make unto you G-ds of gold.
24 An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee.
25 And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it.
26 Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.
A The ten commandos are not meant to be believed. They are meant to be practiced.
B If you take away the religious whoopee, the ten commandos hold up as common sense rules for living.
C If you meet someone who claims to practice all of the commandos, then you are dealing with a liar.
D We are all G-d’s children. She gave you a heart and a mind. When in doubt, trust your heart.
E The first commando is powerful and under appreciated. It does not include books about G-d.
F There is an ongoing controversy about the public display of the ten commandos. Some say such displays violate the second commando. Does a sign forbidding lying and stealing work in a courthouse?
G The third commando is more than G-d’s last name. It is about the proper use of a sacred name. In a perfect world, the word G-d would only be used for worship and respectful discussion. A “pledge of allegiance” to a nationalist symbol is not an appropriate use of a sacred name.
H Sunday is too fine of a day to spend inside a church house.
I When you are discussing religion, it is normal to be a hypocrite.
If you disagree with people, the easiest, cheapest, and laziest argument is to say they are hypocrites.
J Whenever possible, show kindness to your neighbor.
K The text for Exodus 20 is courtesy of King James Bible Online.
Pictures are by Chamblee54. This is a repost.
Be Kind To Your Enemy
Did Jesus say to “Love your enemy”? Some believe this, and do it. Some claim to believe this, and practice the opposite. There are others who claim to love their enemies, but you have to understand what they mean by it. It can be very confusing.
PG went to a source for documentation. Oh, the blessed conjunction of copy paste with public domain. When PG entered enemy (singular) in the search engine, 100 verses came up. When the request was made plural (enemies), 237 entries popped up. The last mention of enemies is Revelation 11:12 “And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.” Loving your enemies does not include bringing them to heaven with you. There is also the star of the show.
Matthew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;.
There is scholarly debate about what Jesus did, or did not, say. The words available to modern man have been copied by hand, edited, translated, and interpreted. PG does not know Aramaic from Alabama. Like anyone else, PG can only read and listen, and think for himself.
In a sense it does not matter what Jesus “really” said. The cult of Jesus Worship is going to believe what it wants. More important, it is going to practice what it wants. As far as the difference between what Jesus “really” said and what his believers say and do…they can explain.
What follows is a humble suggestion. Maybe the translators and scribes got it wrong. Maybe Jesus did not say to love your enemy. Maybe what Jesus said was to show kindness to everyone. This is a practice thing, rather than a belief thing.
It is not as much fun to be nice to someone, as it is to scream about life after death. Kindness does not need to be justified by a quote from a magic book. You just need to do it.
Pictures are from Gwinnett County. This is a repost.
101 Ways To Say Death Part Four
In 2008, a blogger started a series, 101 Ways to Say “Died”. It focused on epitaphs from New England cemeteries. Most of the headstones used were carved before 1825. The series has gone past 101, and is up to 118 now. If you look at the site, you see links to the individual parts. That is the number before the epitaph. Some have been skipped. The VPI site has photographs of many of the headstones used here. HT to Twenty Two Words. Pictures by Chamblee54. Parts one, two, and three have been published.
75 Sacred to the Memory of Amasa Brainard Ir Son of Lieut Amasa & Mrs Jedidah Brainard who receivd a Mortal wound on his head by the falling of a weight from the Bell on Sunday ye 22nd of Apl. 1798 as he was about to enter the Church to attend on divine worship who Departed this life April 27th in ye 20th Year of his Age In the midst of life we are in death.
76 IN MEMORY of Mr. PHENEHAS Son of Mr. THOMAS & Mrs. MARY BURNHAM, who died TRYUMPHINGLY, in hops of a goyful RESURRECTION,
Dec. ye. 22nd. AD: 1776 in ye. 23,d Year of his Age.
78 Desire Bull, d. 1791 Newport, Rhode Island Sacred to the Memory of Mrs. DESIRE relict of the late Capt NATHAN BULL Senr who after a faithful discharge of the duty asigned her in this state of labour & trial left it on the 9th of July 1791 aged 76 years.
79 SACRED to the memory of LEVI AE 26 & NATHANIEL AE 23, Sons of Mr. James & Mrs. Joanna Marshall, whose deaths, together with those of Sherburne Chase of Litchfield, N.H. and John Ives of Sudbury were occasioned by the explosion of the Powder Mill in Chelmsford, Dec. 5, 1820. They were pleasant in their lives, And in their deaths they were not divided. My age’s hope my youthful boast My soul’s chief blessing and my pride, In one sad moment all were lost When Levi and Nathaniel died. Levi Marshall and John Ives were instantly killed, Sherburne Chase & Nathaniel Marshall survived, the former 44, the latter 24 hours.
80 Here Lyes ye Remains of ye Revnd. Mr. SAMUEL ANGIER. Descended From ye Most Famous Dr. AMES & Allied to yt Larned President & Divine Mr. URIAN OAKES by Marring His Only Daughtr. He was Maney Years ye Deligent Pastor of ye Church of Christ in REHOBATH, Removed Thence to ye Pastoral Charge Of a Church in WATERTOW Whare He Faithfully Managed that Trust Till His Translation to ye Temple Above Which was Janry. 21st 1718/19 AEtats. 65
81 Here Lyes Inter’d ye Body of ye Much Respected Doctor Benjamin Wheate Son to Doctor, Samuel Wheate of Cambridge New England, Who after a Laborious Life Spent to Sarve Mankind Resigned his Mortal Life In ye full hope & Expectation of a better in ye Future World;
Dyed Janr, 27th 1758 in ye 49th year of his Age.
82 Here lyes Interr’d ye Body of Deacon NATHANIEL STOW Call’d to His Office Octo. 4th & to His Reward Decr. 15th 1737 AEtatis 40.
83 Erected in memory of Mr. CALEB CHURCH who in health was instantly arrsted by Death
Sept. 30th. 1825. Aged 67.
84 Erected in Memory of CAPT. ISAAC TOMPKINS, aged 27 years and DAVIS S. TOMPKINS aged 19 years, sons of Mr. Benjamin Tompkins and Deborah his wife. They sailed from Norfolk, Va. Aug. 24. 1826. in the brig MARY-ELIZA, bound to Antigua and have never since been heard of.
85 Betsey Simmons AE. 84 yrs. Gone Home. Little Compton, RI
86 Here Sleep The Remains of Mrs. Elizabeth Fernald Wife of Mr. Nathanl. W. Fernald, & daughter of Capt. Nathanl. Melcher, who resigned this life, in calm and humble hope of heaven October 5th. 1809, Aged 36 Years. Kind husband, children, parents, friends, When here you rest your eye; Or pensive tread this hallow’d ground, Remember, you must die.
87 Sacred to the memory of Mrs. Mary Jackson, Relict of the late Hall Jackson Esqr. M.D. who with a comfortable hope of entering into rest was released from a long series of uncommon pain and infirmity, which she bore with singular patience and fortitude, March 30thm 1805. AEtat 62. Mary Jackson, Portsmouth, NH, 1805 Posted by Caitlin GD Hopkins at 7:27 AM
88 In Memory of Miss RUTHE LYMAN who was possessed of many amiable qualities, the joy of her parents, the delight of her connexions and beloved of all : if youth, if virtue deserve a Tear, reader, drop it here when the engraving of this Stone inform you when she left her weeping friends in the 23d year of her age June 22d 1785.
89 Sacred to the Memory of MR. RICHARD TAPPAN, long a worthy ruling Elder of the presbyterian Church, in this Town: who finished a well tried Life, of godliness and honesty, sweetly took his flight to his Redeemer’s arms and gently laid his hoary Head to rest beneath this mournful Turf on the 27th of April in the Year of our Lord 1785 AEtat 77.
this monumental Stone was erected by his weeping Widow and Children
90 Nathan Holt, Peabody, MA, 1792 In memory of the Rev’d NATHAN HOLT AM pastor of the 2d. church in Danvers, who rested from his labors Augt. 2d. 1792 in the 68th year of his age & 34th of his ministry. Piety, benevolence, integrity, & prudence were prominent features in his character as a man, & a minister. He lived beloved, & died lamented. Mark the perfect man and behold the upright for the end of that man is peace.
91 In memory of CAESAR Here lies the best of slaves Now turning into dust; Caesar the Ehiopian craves A place among the just. His faithful soul has fled To realms of heavenly light, And by the blood that Jesus shed Is changed from Black to White Jany. 15 he quitted the stage in the 77th year of his age. 1780
92 In Memory of Mr. NATHL. PARKS, AEt. 19, who on 21st, March 1794. being out a hunting and conceal’d in a ditch was casually shot by Mr. LUTHER FRINK
93 Here lies the Body of MISS Electa Hunt Dautr of MR JOHN & MRS ESTHER HUNT Her amiable acomplishments endeared her to all her acquaintance After a short illness she was cut down in the bloom of life Janry 24th, 1776
94 On the 12th Day of May 1768, the House of Mr. William Arms was Consumed by Fire And his Wife Mrs. Rebecca Arms unhappily parish’d in the Flames in the 70th Year of her Age. She was one who Feared God & Lov’d the Redeemer, was a singular Example of Piety, who by a devout walk was a Bright Ornament to the Christian Religion, And her Death Great Gain.
Weak Tweak
Kelly Clarkston likes to sing “Whatever doesn’t kills you makes you stronger.” This might be the only thing she agrees with Friedrich Nietzsche. This concept is good for books, and hit singles, but it doesn’t always work in the real world. What doesn’t kill a person might indeed make that human stronger. However, when you attack a weak idea, sometimes you make it less powerful.
Before the invasion of Babylon, Dick Cheney appeared on “Meet the Press.” “the people of Iraq … will welcome as liberators the United States”. A few hundred thousand dead Iraqis later, very few people believe this. The weak idea is dead, just like the American economy.
The quote appears to be genuine. Mr. Nietzsche wrote a book, Ecce homo, Wie man wird, was man ist, with the chapter, “Why I Am So Wise.” At some point he says “was ihn nicht umbringt, macht ihn stärker” “What does not kill him, makes him stronger. ” Mr. Nietzsche also wrote “Gott ist tot! Gott bleibt tot! Und wir haben ihn getötet.” “God is dead ! God remains dead! And we have killed him.”
Zealot
Most of you have heard about the Fox News interview with Reza Aslan. It is helpfully embedded above. Dr. Aslan is promoting a book, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth.
The interview created a fuss. It was a win/win situation. Fox News is seen as defenders of the Christian faith. Dr. Aslan sells books. The New York Times has a quote. ““I’ll be perfectly honest — I’m thrilled at the response that people have had to the interview. You can’t buy this kind of publicity.”
In the Fox/henhouse matchup, Dr. Aslan emphasizes his multiple degrees. It is true that he is well educated. It is also true that his day job, at the University of California, Riverside, is an Associate Professor of Creative Writing. (Appalling visual warning) Dr. Aslan has “a Master of Fine Arts from the University of Iowa, where he was named the Truman Capote Fellow in Fiction.“
There is a more civilized interview with NPR. It turns out that Dr. Aslan left Iran as a child. This was during the Khomeini revolution.The departure was a hectic affair. When Dr. Aslan was fifteen, he was “born again”. He spent a few years as an aggressive Jesus worshiper. At some point the Christian thing faded away, and Dr. Aslan went back to Islam. Whatever.
Many say that the book has few original ideas about Jesus. In other words, the book is old ideas, with a new marketing twist. Since Christianity may be the most successful marketing effort in history, this is somehow fitting. It is also beside the point. Jesus worshipers are more interested in the death of Jesus, than in his life. Zealot should have little impact on marketing the scheme for life after death.
There is a certain synchronicity in the current conflict. PG has wondered lately, why was someone so mad at Jesus that an execution was necessary? In other words, instead of What Would Jesus Do, the question should be What Did Jesus Do? According to Dr. Aslan, Jesus made trouble for the Roman rulers of Palestine. When it came time to compile the Bible, it was convenient to blame the execution on the Jews. There is also the possibility Jesus committed a more devious crime, which was dutifully covered up by the Bible committee.
The myth vs. history angle gets worked over. Many feel that the nativity story is not completely accurate. However, for many years, people were concerned about the birth of the Messiah, not the details about where the delivery occurred. As stated on NPR, “the truth of that story was more important than the facts of it.” This kind of talk makes PG dizzy. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
He Lucky I’m A Christian
Rachel Jeantel, the friend of Trayvon Martin, gave a television interview recently. She said, referring to defense attorney Don West, “He lucky I’m a christian.” (5:26 in interview) It is tough to understand what she meant. An outburst, in a courtroom full of armed guards, would not have hurt Mr. West. Such an outburst would have done even more damage to the state’s case against George Zimmerman.
This comment brought PG back to an incident at Redo Blue. There was a person there, known here as the Bully For Jesus (BFJ.) This man had a hair trigger temper, and would use Jesus to hurt people. After seven years working closely with BFJ, PG sees Jesus as a source of abuse.
In this incident, BFJ heard PG say something to the store manager. “Does anyone adjusting the thermostat ask if their neighbor is comfortable?” BFJ was offended, and went off on PG. “You should thank G-d for Jesus. If it wasn’t for Jesus, I would have hurt you.”
Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
Justice Or Vengeance
A jury in Florida rendered a verdict Saturday night. Some are not happy with this ruling. They were looking for the courts to punish the defendant. To many, justice has fallen through the crack.
The truth is that we have trials for a reason. The howling mob, demanding a pound of flesh, is often mistaken. The system exists to protect people from an unjust prosecution. The mobs have not sat in the courtroom, and listened to the evidence. They have not had to make a decision. It is easy to monday morning quarterback a jury, but tough to be on one. Those six women should be thanked for their service, not told to commit suicide.
Some are urging the federal government to prosecute under hate crime laws. This is where Uncle Sam is not happy with the local ruling, and brings his own charges. This is also known as double jeopardy. It is not a good idea. One trial is enough.
Many of the people demanding government sponsored vengeance are Jesus worshipers. This is the man that Pontius Pilate said had done nothing wrong. The crowd shouted Pontius Pilate down. The crowd bellowed Crucify Him, Crucify Him. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
The Church Of The Big Chicken
PG was listening to a podcast about atheists and religion. There was a comment about how prayer … the concept of talking to G-d … is often self aggrandizing. Duh. Why should the creator of the universe care about the budget problems at your church? One thought led to another, and soon PG remembered a series of brief conversations.
For those who are new to this blog, perhaps a bit of explanation is in order. PG is a recovering Baptist. He suspects that G-d does exist, even though the world would probably be a happier place without her. Whatever her status, G-d does not write books, or engage in real estate transactions. Jesus was killed because he was a troublemaker. The reputed exit from the grave has nothing to do with what happens to people when they die. PG is under no obligation to discuss any of these items.
At the time of these conversations, PG was in his last round of working for Redo Blue. He was based in Cobb County, making pickups and deliveries. As a mobile person operating in Cobb County, PG had frequent encounters with the Big Chicken. There is speculation that future civilizations will consider the Big Chicken to be an object of religious significance. PG decided to give this hypothesis a test run.
When this story took place, PG enjoyed the “privilege” of making comments at PyroManiacs. One of the Pyros, Scent, was mean to PG. One day, while waiting at a red light on the Cobb Parkway, next to the Big Chicken, PG looked over at the sheet metal bird and said “G-d, what should I do about Scent?” “You should forgive him.”
A week or so later, PG was waiting at the same red light. Across the street from the Big Chicken was an “adult fantasy store” named Tantra. This combination of extra crispy poultry, and eastern sex magick, led to the next question. “Why does Jesus hate me?” “I don’t know.”
By and by on the four lane, the light turned red. PG turned down the radio. A traffic report was underway. “Hey G-d, whats happening?” “Don’t worry about me, listen to the traffic report”.
All parties must come to an end. One day PG asked a more serious question. “Are mom and dad ok?” There was no answer. PG began to feel sad, until he realized that this whole thing was becoming too serious. Even if Jesus worshipers obsess over the lifestyles of the dead, you do not need to imitate them. Just keep you seat belt fastened, and watch out for the nut behind the wheel.
This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Prescription For Alcoholics
There is an image on facebook. It is a prescription, dated February 1937. The note reads: Rx for alcoholics 1. Trust G-d 2. Clean house 3. Help others.
The prescription is signed by R.H. Smith, MD. Diseases Of The Rectum. Reg. No. 3089… 810 Second National Bldg., Akron, Ohio… HEmlock 8523 The Collins Drug Co., Dispensing Chemists, 147 South Main St., Akron, Ohio
“Dr. Bob” is one of the Seven Pioneers of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Robert H. Smith, M.D., “ Dr. Bob” to his innumerable friends, physician and surgeon, and cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous.” In descriptions of the other pioneers, you see the phrase “Bill and Dr. Bob”. Dr. Bob’s last words to Bill W were: “Remember Bill, let’s not louse this thing up. Let’s keep it simple”
PG is a retired drunk. He has never attended an AA meeting. From what he has heard, the AA approach is crude. There is a heavy emphasis on semantics, and clever slogans. AA works for some people. It is not for everyone. *Insert bumper sticker slogan here ____.*
The six word “prescription” would seem to be sound advice. Rule number one … Trust G-d … might be a problem for Jesus worshipers. That so called religion is, in truth, a scheme for life after death. Maybe if Christians would trust G-d to take care of them after death, and quit making noise about “salvation”, the world would be a better place. It would certainly be more quiet.
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