Somebody’s Sins But Not Mine
These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fc), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. ~ “A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence.” — Brander Matthews ~ The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. ~ “And lo, did Phillip make bacon for breakfast! And he smelt the bacon, and he spake unto the kitchen, This bacon needs tofu. And so he added tofu, and it was really really good.” ~ I misspoke when I said, “Have a great day!”– what I really meant to say was, “I’m so glad you’re leaving!” (fb) ~ “Don’t get discouraged because there’s a lot of mechanical work to writing. … I rewrote the first part of A Farewell to Arms at least fifty times. … The first draft of anything is shit. When you first start to write you get all the kick and the reader gets none, but after you learn to work it’s your object to convey everything to the reader so that he remembers it not as a story he has read but something that has happened to himself. That’s the true test of writing.” — Ernest Hemingway (fc) ~ A footnote in Byron’s Don Juan mentions a rhyming contest between John Sylvester and Ben Jonson: “I, John Sylvester, lay with your sister.” “I, Ben Jonson, lay with your wife.” “That is not rhyme.” “No, but it is true.” (fc) ~ “Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but rather memory.” — Leonardo (fc) ~ “Winerip says that what worries him is that if automated readers become the standard way of grading essays, then teachers will begin teaching to them, removing a lot of the “juice” of the English language. “If you’re not allowed to use a sentence fragment … [or] a short paragraph … then you’re going to get a very homogenized form of writing,” he says. “The joy of writing is surprise.” ~ Is there anything more beautiful and filled with simple joy than watching onions slowly caramelize in a pan? Don’t say childbirth. I’ve seen childbirth, and it’s nasty. (fb) ~ “It must be obvious… that there is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity.” ~ Alan Watts(fb) ~ I wonder how much water and energy would be saved if we all gave up our various caffeine addictions. Let’s try it. You start. (fb) ~ Apparently, all members of Morons Anonymous are required to drive on Fridays. I encountered quite a few members in good standing while I was out running errands today. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport No one used to read crazy people’s diary entries, but Twitter fixed that problem. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport On the eve of Facebook’s IPO, Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg published the following letter to potential investors: Dear Potential Investor: For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too ~ @BorowitzReport Romney’s business experience makes him uniquely qualified to be President. Of Greece. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport If Cory Booker keeps changing his position he will be qualified to run the Romney campaign. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Instead of turning them into a game, we should be trying to find the root causes of why the birds are angry. (tw) ~ Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts. ~ It’s so sad when cute girls are Christians (fb) ~ Eddie This comment was flagged for review. – Don_Bacon Eddie, you should be blown away.~ Should have fought for your right to have more frequent cancer screenings (fb) ~ This e-mail message (including any attachments) is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this message (including any attachments) is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please contact the sender by reply e-mail message and destroy all copies of the original message (including attachments).~ a kitchen timer only works if you use it. ~ Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Author Unknown ~ @tejucole While performing in Williamsburg, Edward Morris, 50, comedian with the Reeves burlesque company, became mentally unbalanced. (tw) ~ @tejucole On purpose or not, Mrs Heickemrath, 38, of 201 West 105th Street ingested something fatal. (tw) ~ @tejucoleThe books of Harry Elkins Widener, 27, a zealous bibliophile who sank with the Titanic, were donated to Harvard University. (tw) ~ @tejucole “I am happy with my gender, but pure masculinity, which I have been exposed to a lot in life, is tedious and inadequate.”—James Salter (tw) ~ @tejucoleCaptain George Kimmitte, whom Fate had deprived of eyesight, nevertheless found his way to the East River, and jumped. (tw) ~ @alaindebottonIt’s now impossible to write a sentence that won’t offend someone. (tw) ~ @alaindebottonAcquiring enemies doesn’t have to mean one’s life has gone wrong: it may just be a sign one has found things to believe in. (tw) ~ Remember that you are our guests. We will, at our discretion, delete comments that we find off-topic, derailing, un-civil, slanderous, trollish or troll-feeding, petulant, pestiferous, and/or otherwise obnoxious and non-constructive. If we warn you, stop it. After no more than three warnings, you will find yourself banned, and all your future comments will be immediately deleted~ PREMISE: DO NOT comment at all if you think the “right way” to handle Christian disagreement is to make an appointment and chat over coffee first. The vortex of irony you will create by commenting will sap the hair-care products off your stylish bed-head, and we do not want to be responsible for that. ~ “One great idea of the biblical revelation is that God is manifest in the ordinary, in the actual, in the daily, in the now, in the concrete incarnations of life, and not through purity codes and moral achievement contests, which are seldom achieved anyway… We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking… The most courageous thing we will ever do is to bear humbly the mystery of our own reality.” ~ Richard Rohr (fb) ~ “Wandering in a vast forest at night, I have only a faint light to guide me. A stranger appears and says to me: ‘My friend, you should blow out your candle in order to find your way more clearly.’ This stranger is a theologian.” — Diderot (fc) ~ The world is so strange sometimes. I know almost instantly when a celebrity dies, but don’t realize for 3 weeks that an actual acquaintance of mine has passed. I never got to meet him in person (another strange side effect of social networking) but I got to interact with and watch his compassion and activism, and he was regularly changing the world for the better. Farewell, Alex. (fb) ~ What happens when your soul Begins to awaken Your eyes And your heart And the cells of your body To the great Journey of Love? First there is wonderful laughter And probably precious tears And a hundred sweet promises And those heroic vows No one can ever keep. But still God is delighted and amused You once tried to be a saint. What happens when your soul Begins to awake in this world To our deep need to love And serve the Friend? O the Beloved Will send you One of His wonderful, wild companions (fb) ~ We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others. The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door. ~ @tejucole God is love. In Ogdensburg, Miss Donlan, a Catholic with strict parents, was shot by her Protestant lover Hodgins, who drowned himself. (tw) ~ I am tired of being the center of controversy. chamblee54 ~ Now to all those who had so much to say on my post that mentioned religion, since you had so much to say then please have that same spirit when I talk about black on black crime, the economy, education, brothers in jail, single parents or any of the various topics that I discuss on my page.My point of view will always stay honest and I don’t care who doesn’t like it. As a poet I expres myself and I will continue to do so. I don’t agree with everyone and everyone will not agree with me and I accept that. I’m almost positive they don’t pay attention to all those posts that anyone who is my friend can tell you that I regularly make, they just wanted to speak when they felt attacked. Let me say this if you are saved and secure as you claim to be with God then the opinion of Rico Revels should mean nothing to you but obviously truth does still strike a nerve. (fb) ~ So, I see why suburban moms slowly kill themselves with wine and sleeping medications. If the important subjects of conversation in my life were how to get my home owner’s insurance to pay for medical bills for my kid’s poison ivy, pre-school curriculum, and fabric softener… I would want to kill myself too. (fb) ~ The bible is NOT the constitution!!! It’s funny how people try to run other people’s lives by that book. Most of the people who use it in attempt to persecute others tend to be some of the biggest rule breakers. Of course a lot of Christians think all SIN is wrong except for the SIN that they personally commit. This country will be much better when people realize that G-d is not a forced standard but an option and no one should be made to live by the rules of his book. Our laws should be based off the good of the common man and that’s any man not just a Christian one. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport The fact that the brutal Syrian regime is still in power means that not enough of us have changed our profile pictures. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Thanks to Facebook, it’s easier than ever to share things no one cares about with people you barely know. (tw) ~ Here is how people become gay ~ @DONGLORD69 To clarify, he was asking if I get up at night to do a poop. Which I do not. You needed to know this. (tw) ~ @MaraWritesStuff AND THAT’S NOT EVEN A FUNNY JOKE MY MOUTH JUST KEPT DOING THAT BECAUSE I WAS NERVOUS AND CAFFEINATED. (tw) ~ In 1879 Thérèse Humbert was traveling by railway through France when she met an ailing American millionaire named Robert Crawford. She sought medical care for him, and he showed his gratitude with a handsome bequest, which she kept in a sealed safe. Or so she said. Humbert and her husband lived luxuriously in Paris for two decades, borrowing money against Crawford’s unseen gift. When suspicious creditors finally sued her, they discovered that Crawford didn’t exist and the safe contained a handful of worthless papers. She was sentenced to five years in prison. (fc) ~ In 1897 Ohio con artist Cassie Chadwick “confessed” to a Cleveland lawyer that she was the illegitimate daughter of Andrew Carnegie and stood to inherit $10 million on his death. She parlayed his sympathy into a series of bank loans and lived lavishly until 1904, when she was unable to repay a Massachusetts banker. Carnegie, who denied her story, attended the trial and saw her sentenced to 10 years in prison. She died two years later in the Ohio State Penitentiary. (fc) ~ “Dancing is a sweat job. … When you’re experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, that you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion. This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn’t want to be tracked. It takes time to get a dance right, to create something memorable. There must be a certain amount of polish to it. I don’t want it to look anything but accomplished, and if I can’t make it look that way, then I’m not ready yet. I always try to get to know my routine so well that I don’t have to think, ‘What comes next?’ Everything should fall right into line, and then I know I’ve got control of the bloody floor.” — Fred Astaire (fc) ~ Even going forward, wearing flat shoes ~ “How to hit home runs: I swing as hard as I can, and I try to swing right through the ball. In boxing, your fist usually stops when you hit a man, but it’s possible to hit so hard that your fist doesn’t stop. I try to follow through in the same way. The harder you grip the bat, the more you can swing it through the ball, and the farther the ball will go. I swing big, with everything I’ve got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.” — Babe Ruth (fc) ~ I have been deleted at least six times by this person….why the friend request? AGAIN? I will always be queer and I will almost always be inappropriate and I think that’s why you deleted me the first six times….. but I’m thinking about it! (fb) ~ Some movies cut into trailers better than others, but by and large you can tell from those two minutes of sample images and dialogue whether or not you want to see it, which is what a trailer is for, of course. And that has to be the most ‘duh’ sentence I’ve ever written in this blog. ~ “It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake” – Frederick Douglas (fb) ~ “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine” – Patti Smith (fb) ~ “Poison is in everything, and no thing is without poison. The dosage makes it either a poison or a remedy” – Paracelsus (one of history’s greatest alchemists) (fb) ~ Selah
Dribble, Morsel, People
Before the haggle of hypocritic haha hit the whoha, PG checked in on TwentyTwoWords. The subject today is “10 normal words that sound funny when you think about them too long.” This is more fun.
The original ten words are buffalo, clump, dribble, morsel, people, rattle, shampoo, smock, wasps, wool. The comments add blog, canker, Cool Whip, duty, gesundheit, forehead, goiter, machete, problem, scissors, soap, trouser and umbrella. In the case of wasps and goiter, the word may be funny, but the reality is not. Got a problem?
One commenter who pays attention added : “Last week for this very reason I had to run spell check on the word “been” because it appeared too absurd to be possible. FWIW, Ed Clowney, former president of Westminster Seminary, maintained that this effect was at the root of much Eastern mysticism. Persevere Perserverate on any word and the discursive part of our brain would be thrown into neutral and what he called the intuitive would take over, leading some to believe they had become one with the universe.”
As obituary readers know, many dead people have funny sounding names. It is considered rude to laugh. This is a repost.
The Student And The Professor
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in G-d ? Student : Absolutely, sir. Professor : Is G-d good ? Student : Sure. Professor: Is G-d all powerful ? Student : Yes. Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to G-d to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But G-d didn’t. How is this G-d good then? Hmm? (Student was silent.) Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is G-d good? Student : Yes. Professor: Is satan good ? Student : No. Professor: Where does satan come from ? Student : From … G-d … Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student : Yes. Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And G-d did make everything. Correct? Student : Yes. Professor: So who created evil ? (Student did not answer.) Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, who created them ? (Student had no answer.) Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen G-d? Student : No, sir. Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your G-d? Student : No , sir. Professor: Have you ever felt your G-d, tasted your G-d, smelt your G-d? Have you ever had any sensory perception of G-d for that matter? Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t. Professor: Yet you still believe in Him? Student : Yes. Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your G-d doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? Student : Nothing. I only have my faith. Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has. Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Professor: Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as cold? Professor: Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn’t. (The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.) Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.) Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness? Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you? Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ? Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how? Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good G-d and a bad G-d. You are viewing the concept of G-d as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.) Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class was in uproar.) Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain? (The class broke out into laughter.) Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.) Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son. Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & G-d is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving. P.S. I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you? Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH. By the way, that student was EINSTEIN. // This incident was posted on Facebook. If the student was Albert Einstein, then this discussion took place in German. The comments below were posted about this story. // I hope the class got a refund on their tuition for that day. // This is mindless propaganda, pure and simple. First of all, there’s no way that Einstein was the student in question. Secondly, not only has evolution been observed in the past, but it’s actually still happening right now. Third, the professor seems to switch from being a philosopher to a science midway. This is a clear signal that this is a compilation of two different stories. Fourth, most of the student’s arguments are just plane stupid. Cold does exist. Science defines cold as the absence of movement. To say that absence doesn’t exist is silly and makes it sound like you think that everything is constantly moving or that the “student” doesn’t understand the difference between the word “cold” and the physical process that we call cold, that slows down the movement of things. I could keep going but almost every sentence of this thing is just dead wrong. // That doesn’t sound like Einstein at all, lol. // Lol @ evolution hasn’t been observed. Try some penicillin next time you get a staph infection. // “It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.” wtf rofl . this is such a dumb copy pasta. also I don’t even like to let theists get into philosophical arguments about deities. I don’t have philosophical arguments about leprechauns or unicorns. The only arguments for actual proof of a deity just come from arguments of ignorance “i don’t know how something works, therefore G-d did it.” // Hmmm… I feel like the “heat/cold” argument is subjective in a way, hence the presentation by this “student”. I presume that the basis of the “evolution” argument was solely focused on events such as macro species (e.g. fish to frog, frog to lizard, etc.). I have seen some quotes accredited to Einstein which deal with G-d and support Einstein’s belief in some form of “G-d”. Whether this quote or these words (possibly paraphrased) are of Einstein is another matter (some citation might be nice). I’ve heard the argument “gravity is a theory” and I do feel that there is some degree of “faith” that we place into our scientific observations and conclusions on the world we perceive around us. I do see the idea of believing in a supreme being or even an interdimensional, omnipotent/-vox/-present/-scient being as believing in a theoretical conclusion, just the way I see holding to the conclusion of gravity as a theoretical conclusion. Does that justify some of the backwards ish that goes on in the name of religion (or “G-d”)? HECK NO. I do see the existence of a “G-d” and the idea of that G-d kickstarting a big bang or some other process as a possibility. As an observer and enthusiast of science, I encourage you to challenge or argue against that perspective if you feel inclined to do so. // having faith in gravity is different from having faith in a magical being. you have faith in gravity based on measurable evidence. having faith in a deity that “created” the big bang (whatever that means) is based solely on ignorance (not trying to be offensive but that’s the best word). We are all ignorant of a lot of things, but just because humanity can’t explain every single mystery in the observable universe doesn’t give any validation to the G-d argument. // the agnostic approach of “well i can’t prove it DOESNT exist” is a waste of time. there are an infinite amount of things that you can’t PROVE don’t exist, but the severe lack of evidence (none whatsoever) leads you to believe that they are false. // Christians who claim that macroevolution has never been observed are either completely ignorant or are intentionally trying to mislead others. No scientist has ever said that fish give birth to frogs or that a monkey ever gave birth to a human. Period. End of story. Macroevolution and microevolution are the exact same cthing and are composed of the exact same processes. Microevolution and speciation have both been observed in the modern era, thus evolution has been observed. That’s it. It’s over. As for the idea that “gravity is a theory”, this is just more ignorance of science. I challenge anyone that really believes that “gravity is a theory” to jump off the Empire State Building. If it’s just a “theory” it could be wrong…right? // I understand that there is measurable evidence for gravity; what I am saying is that it is possible that another explanation may be more valid for why that reaction occurs. Also, I am hecking out the dialogue on Gabrielle’s post. If this is indeed a misquote, then I find that to be a shame. :) Okay, let’s look at the Epicurus quote. I’ll cut to the chase; the last line is the one I agree with most, because it allows room for the existence of some “G-dlike” being or force, even if they (the being or force) lack the *agency* or means to expel all evil, which, at the very least, is a *possibility*. It does lack measurable evidence, yes. I hold that is is a possibility, which I feel deserves some consideration (science fantasy, ho!). // I’m taking this conversation in a different direction. Everyone is encouraged to address the previous subject or this one as they choose. I kind of have this idea of “G-d” as having a greater knowledge/power/ability than that of a human, only being held back by certain stipulations and “principles” (those self-defined and those imposed by other parties). As far as possibilities go, might this be an explanation to the questions presented by Epicurus? Maybe “G-d” as a title was convenient for some purposes (i.e., leading a (created) race of beings). Maybe a third party placed the title upon them. Maybe it was self-imposed even with the knowledge that it was, from another perspective(s), untrue. // Another explanation is always possible for everything. Why even bring that up. I mean, you think G-d created the universe but how do you know it wasn’t aliens? I mean, I’m not sayin’ it’s aliens,but…it’s aliens! I just want you to imagine having that conversation with someone. You’re talking about evidence and facts and their reply is, “yeah, but…aliens”. And as for the Epicurus thing, you’ve walked right into it, mayne. If G-d has limitations, then G-d isn’t all-powerful. And if G-d isn’t all-powerful and has claimed to be all-powerful (as the G-d in the Bible so obviously has) that means that G-d is a liar on top of not being omnipotent. So how exactly does that solve the Problem of Evil? And you begin this new conversation by saying that you don’t have any proof but you still think it’s a possibility? I mean, I’m not gonna say that aliens made you say that., but…it’s aliens. // Heehee. Hmmm. I sense there’s some sensitivity about this issue and I can understand the source of it in certain respects. I do like the idea of possibility, because I’m a science fantasy enthusiast. At the same time, I like the evidence basis of science, therefore, I welcome being challenged on my perspectives. I welcome you all to give me your feedback in the days to come on my ideas. ^^// This is propoganda, pure and simple. Notice the confrontational authority figure who attacks his student’s beliefs but is usurped by him. Also notice the completely fake attribution of the story to Einstein. And blatantly incorrect assertions like evolution being unobservable, a human brain being unobservable, that science doesn’t “understand” electricity and magnetism. I am not an atheist and my boyfriend is Catholic. Both of us detest this ignorant, manipulative articles that make science and faith look like they’re mortal enemies, or that rely entirely on the “G-d of the gaps”. // Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Epistemological Transcendence
These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fucl), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. // And the road goes on forever…..RAGBRAI cyclist (fb) // Zion has rehearsal today and I am meeting someone new and feeling off and Arts Exchange tonight…… coffee then attitude adjustment, then I don’t know what… I have avoided writing because I’m feeling over optimistic and bitter at the same time. I have no idea what the fuck that sounds like? Not sure I want to know. I do know that off for me usually means write….. (fb) // “I don’t have secrets, just well-edited truths.” (fb) // #youknowwhatsannoying when you try and talk to someone and they are about as interesting as a table (tw) // “If you think you can’t make a difference, you are wrong. If you think you are too old or too young to make change happen, you are wrong. If you think that somebody else will do it first, you are wrong.” ~ Dan Pearce (fb) // The ulitmate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves its children–Dietrich Bonhoffer. (fb) // “The church was in the government and the government had always been rotton”–For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway-as the rebels tossed the priests over a cliff. (fb) // peace is what you get when you stop killing people. (fb) // We are saturated with lies. The lies we are told. And the lies we tell ourselves–Chris Hedges (fb) // Mr Roberts, of Lawrence Street, Brooklyn, who was fond of examining his revolver, did so for the last time yesterday. (tw) // Traffic on 34th Street was halted while a crowd looked, in vain, for Mrs Cornely’s nose, torn off when she fell down the station steps. (tw) // “you must write, and read, as if your life depended on it.” — adrienne rich // I’m a part of all that I’ve met. Yet all experience forms an arch through which gleams that untraveled world. Ulysses (fb) // Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’ Viktor Frankl (fb) // Without music, life would be a mistake. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche (fb) // BBQmySchlong:I love being kicked in the balls! I love having my penis roasted on a BBQ grill! I love drinking piss! I live in NY and can travel plus PAY you, if interested send an IM! PICS IN PROFILE! // I was just asked in a meeting, “Is it business critical to make this fannypack?” (fb) // “Kindness is a force that breaks open your heart even as it heals – and in that healing sets you free.” ~ Sharon Salzberg (fb) // Ok, I’m running a test to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching. Sing like nobody’s listening. Live like it’s Heaven on Earth. /// “I don’t consider myself an anthropologist so much as an animal behaviorist who specializes in humans.” “Yeah … you might not want to say that too often.” (fb) // Just had a very entertaining experience in corruption. A big burly Con Ed employee approached me as I was photographing dancers in Madison Square Park. He asked about my work as a photographer, made small talk and then asked if I did any “paparazzi” work because he moonlights as a bodyguard for celebrities and for a “percentage” he would text me who, where and when. (fb) // Had an MRI today for my sore neck. They gave me Valium because of my newly discovered claustrophobia from the first time I had one. That one was the longest half-hour in my life. Could NOT talk myself out of the irrational fear. It’s like being shoved into an orange juice can with your arms pinned at your side. But I was good and made no scene. Here’s how that first one went with mental dialog: Using the alphabet, come up with a name for a song title with each letter. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! (I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN YOUR EYES!) OK, undo the panic by counting each breath up to 100. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! OK, now count down from 100 with each breath. (Isn’t this half hour over YET? Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! THIS TIME: Valium an hour before and a cloth over my eyes during the procedure. It was a breeze. Make a mental note for next time, if there is one. I’m not looking to enter any kind of drug addiction or the Whitney Houston diet, but DAMN. Valium and the cup of coffee afterwards has made for a perfect day. But I dare not start a painting. (fb) // Curiosities of medical language: VESICULOGRAPHY contains no repeated letters. PARASITOLOGICAL alternates vowels and consonants. HYDROXYZINE is the only word in the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition) that contains XYZ. BIOPSY is in alphabetical order. Each letter in ZOONOSIS is rotationally symmetrical in uppercase. Each letter in BERIBERI and INTESTINES appears twice. (fucl) // Kind woman in dark aquarium: do you have all your children accounted? We have an extra with us there. (tw) // Mommy, you have too many semicolons in your book. I don’t see why you need so many of them. (tw) // 7-yr-old: what is nymphomania? me: where did you see the word? 7yo: in a book. Me: which book? 7yo: yours. (tw) // Class is a thing that has a way of dissolving rapidly in alcohol. (tw) // ‘The motion-picture business is the only business in the world in which you can make all the mistakes there are and still make money.’ (tw) // Her voice was as cool as boarding-house soup (tw) // She began to sob in my arms. Women have so few defenses, but they certainly perform wonders with those they have. (tw) // “I liked you better when you used to…” Those who put their comfort above your progress are not your friends. (tw) // Merely because his surgeon, Dr Fischer, left two sponges in his abdomen, Jacob Weiss, of East 87th Street, is making a legal fuss. (tw) // The number of wealthy Dicks in Long Island increased after sugar magnate William Dick left his $20 million fortune to his children. (tw) // In the future, after our generation is forgotten and humanity has become civilized, people will be able to edit tweets after posting them. (tw) // NO SORRY, SANTORUM, YOU MUST CARRY YOUR DEAD PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TO FULL TERM.” (tw) // Stacey @nonpromqueen Mommy, Potty Mouth, Lactivist, Liberal-ish, Atheist, Dong Expert, Geek, Goon, News Junkie, Web Addict, Video Game Connoisseur. (tw) // The Circus… Fun for the whole family. Except the animals kept enslaved and abused there. This is Tyke, who in 1994 killed her trainer to escape and was shot 86 times by police. It took her two hours to die. So the next time someone tells you the animals like it there, remember this photo. (fb) // Trigger Warning: sexism, fat shaming, body shaming, misogyny, assumptive objectification, Really ya’ll, these attitudes are insipid and just darn dull. Also, the fat shame and shaming is unwelcome. (fb) // ”We’re taught to do things the right way. But to discover something other people haven’t, you need to do things the wrong way” ~ James Dyson // A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.” “How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “About a gallon.” (fb) // “Not only is no language ever free of troping; not only is facticity always saturated with metaphoricity; but also, any sustained account of the world is dense with storytelling. ‘Reality’ is not compromised by the pervasiveness of narrative; one gives up nothing, except the illusion of epistemological transcendence, by attending closely to stories. I am consumed with interest in the stories that inhabit us and that we inhabit; such inhabiting is finally what constitutes this ‘we’ among whom communication is to be possible.” (fb) // With a leap in front of the northbound local, Philip Joseph, of Heary Street, canceled his wedding plans. (tw) // Abdul Baha Abbas, teacher of the Bahai faith, arrived on the steamship Cedric. One of his peculiar beliefs is that women are equal to men. (tw) //
Death had been ignoring 82-year-old Mrs Levy, so she jumped from the fifth floor of the Ansonia Hotel and got his attention. (tw) // Harvey had an eventful trip on the Olympic. Swindled on the first day, he quarreled on the second, and drank himself to death on the third. (tw) // When the doctors have done all they can for Sting, I hope one of them raises a vial of morphine and murmurs, “O Sting, here is thy death…” (tw) // Envious of the White Star Line’s Titanic, which is on its maiden voyage, Cunard announced plans for Aquitania, which shall be even larger. (tw) // Shiva is the destroyer and the first thing on his list should be his hairdo, but who am I to argue with the divine? The river Ganges is supposed to spout from his hairstyle, so there’s more going on in Shiva’s topknot than just a chaotic updo achieved without a mirror during the first five minutes of yoga. ~Margaret Cho (fb) “Nothingness was a wind that inexplicably changed directions but ever and always conscious of its goals.” (fb) // Please repost this to your status if you’re constantly being asked to repost things to your status by friends who constantly repost things to their status. Many people won’t repost this, but my truly sarcastic, caring and intelligent friends will repost it because they know this was reposted from a dear friend in dire need of more stuff to repost; and if you don’t repost it, then this means you must hate Jesus, kittens, puppies, Tim Tebow and bacon. And if you hate bacon, the terrorists win. I bet 444% of you won’t repost this. (fb) // This comment has received too many negative votes // This is closer // Knocking someone for being “too gay” when the real problem is that you think they are too materialistic, superficial, or catty.. that’s not fair to people who are femme but are none of those things. And it is often ironic, because by criticizing someone before getting to know them, we are engaging in superficial catty behavior. “If you want a good friend, first be a good friend.” (fb) // May all beings be truly peaceful. May all beings be free from fear, stress and unnecessary suffering. (fb) // “That would make a good Facebook status!” (fb) // I’m having trouble curbing my anger in this email. (fb) // She sighed. “All men are the same.” “So are all women—after the first nine.” She damned me and hung up. (tw) // I finished my drink and got the thirsty look on my face again. She ignored it. (tw) // They always have a gun in the drawer and they always get it too late, if they get it at all. (tw) // Brought my umbrella yesterday. No rain. Forgot it today. Of course it’s raining. Sigh. (tw) // Very proud of myself: I’m still less than halfway through this box of thin mints, and I’ve had them open for weeks. Go me! (tw) // Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it’s always somebody else’s money he’s adding up. (tw) //Oh you’re vegan, that’s cool but I practice true cruelty free living, BREATHARIANISM. I live off the nutrients of air then die after 1 month (tw) // he said something like ‘sorry if i’m being a shithead. am i being a shithead’ and i wish i could have yelled ‘YES OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!! (tw) // “If happiness always depends on something expected in the future, we are chasing a will-o’-the-wisp that ever eludes our grasp, until the future, and ourselves, vanish into the abyss.” ~ Alan Watts (fb) // Why do we constantly talk about non violence and then call people bitches on our facebook? (fb) // I’ve said it before: people talk a lot of crap and are too lazy to do their research. And then when presented with irrefutable evidence about matters of fact, apparently, they simply say “I disagree” so they can welch on their bets. The only mystery is why I am surprised. (fb) // NOTICE: Contents of web site may settle during downloading. Pages are sold by weight, not by volume. // I’m perpetuating a test…to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Such an interesting day on facebook. when I first logged in I saw an obituary posted by a friend in memory of his feline companion. I opted to respond to a friend request first before digging into the full obit, but when I returned to the news feed page I got this simple message: There are no more posts to show right now. I imagine I will find more on facebook through my groups and friend feeds. Such an interesting experience. (fb) // To the guy at the Cheveron, who tried to sell me a bag of weed, as I was at the counter paying for my gas…. What the phuck is your problem? (fb) // Poetry is my crutch and comfort. Girls are scary. (fb) // So, I went to three events tonight. Two completely social, one poetry showed her face what I learned, I cannot do the club thing anymore for real! I gravitate to folks I know which defeats the mf purpose. Everyone else is so fucking young. I may have to come to terms with, I might have to be alone for a while……Marinating on that one…ugh (fb) // Commenters get banned when they spam our comments section with inanities and slogans or if they establish a consistent track record of bringing nothing to the discussion beyond rude treatment of others. Insults are fine, as long as you’re making a point. But if insults and expletives are all you have, find another cocktail party. // “Neo-cons stink of necrosis and flee from the thought of peace like a Victorian spinster from a penis.” (fb) // The mideast is like the black-white thing on steroids. (fb) // I’m seeking the understanding necessary to be a great storyteller and the wisdom to know the stories worth telling. This is my intention. (fb) // So, you are going to use my page to promote your page and then announce how you are going to delete me after you used my fucking page….ok, weird, but ok…so how about I delete your ass first , you fucking recongnize and get over your damn self….. FOR REAL? MOTHERPHUCK , for real….. (fb) // That depends if you’re a functional distinctionist and if you think all things should be compartmentalized neatly into their place (which you conveniently invent and then pretend like it is proper only when you find things where you leave them), or if you recognize that distinctions/differences are a historical byproducts and you should do a geneaology to recover why on earth you think you need a separate room to shower or poop in the first place. Water supply doesn’t explain walls. In fact the only thing that I can think of that would explain the walls is puritanical fear of nudity aka prudence. (fb) // may all ancient hatreds become a present love–A Course In Miracles. (fb) // As the human soul matures, we are confronted with moments that force us to let go of yet another thin veil of self-delusion. The moral high ground, sinks into a thicket of gray. // Register for FREE to access our online magazine articles. This one-time registration takes only a FEW seconds. Continue to enjoy free subscriptions to email newsletters, SojoMail, articles and more great features. // If you aren’t a fan of Jon Luc Pickard (Patrick Stewart), this might make you ask yourself why not?……….“Our house was small, and when you grow up with domestic violence in a confined space you learn to gauge, very precisely, the temperature of situations. I knew exactly when the shouting was done and a hand was about to be raised – I also knew exactly when to insert a small body between the fist and her face, a skill no child should ever have to learn. Curiously, I never felt fear for myself and he never struck me, an odd moral imposition that would not allow him to strike a child. The situation was barely tolerable: I witnessed terrible things, which I knew were wrong, but there was nowhere to go for help. Worse, there were those who condoned the abuse. I heard police or ambulance men, standing in our house, say, “She must have provoked him,” or, “Mrs Stewart, it takes two to make a fight.” They had no idea. The truth is my mother did nothing to deserve the violence she endured. She did not provoke my father, and even if she had, violence is an unacceptable way of dealing with conflict. Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.” Patrick Stewart (fb) // Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence. -Vermont Proverb // Mrs Esther Galarzo, wife of a Brooklyn cigar dealer, and E.J. Davis, the negro she eloped with, were caught in Atlantic City and jailed. (tw) // At West 44th Street, while explaining to her husband that she wanted a club sandwich, Mrs Cohen shot herself in the shoulder. (tw) // “Has a playground for little kids as well as big kids.” // I am traveling with perhaps the worst procrastinators alive. We are STILL at the hostel, despite having prepped to leave hours ago. This means we’ll now be biking 4 hours in the dark and setting up camp at Tulum in the middle of the night. How absurd! (fb) // Selah
Jesus And Mr. Gandhi
One day, PG is going to learn not to read facebook first thing in the morning. He was scrolling along, minding his own business, when he found this comment: “Are you kidding me. Judge NOT least you are JUDGE. You have NO right nor do I as a Christain to interpet one man’s thought or opinion or idea of whom our CHRIST is to HIM (Ghandi) or to you or myself. Self judging of other people or life styles was one the things that really ticked Christ off. Til we accept that and stop be so judgmental we are no better than the Devil himself.” PG had a reply: “1-When you have religion shoved in your face, you need to make a judgement… do I agree with this, or not agree? If the religion was not forced upon us, we would not have to make this judgement. 2- When you say I am the devil, you say more about yourself than you do about me.”
The first comment was made by a former supervisor of PG. “Wildman” was the store manager when PG was tormented by the Professional Jesus Worshiper (PJW). During this crucible, PG was forced to re-examine his opinions about Jesus. This was not easy for PG, as Jesus had long been a painful presence in his life.
PG decided that there were two forces known as Jesus. One was the historic figure, whose life was partially recorded in the bible. The second Jesus was a spirit, living in the hearts of those who believe in him. The present day spirit Jesus has little in common with the historic Jesus, other than the name. The best way to know Jesus is through the words and deeds of his believers.
The initial comment was made to a post at Christianity.com. Apparently, the comment was automatically posted to facebook. The post, Gandhi Doesn’t Like Us, was written by Tim Challies. He is a popular Jesus worship blogger, and is much admired at blogs where PG is banned from commenting. The page is sponsored by Christians United For Israel. They are distributing a free ebook, Israel 101, with the slogan “Defend the land Jesus walked.”
Mr. Challies is a competent writer. He crafts an opening to the post which states the points he is going to make. “How many times have you come across this quote attributed to Mahatma Gandhi? “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” I must have read it a hundred times in books, magazines, articles, tweets. It is used by believers and unbelievers to point to the hypocrisy of Christians and to call us to more and to better. Our inability to live what we preach is driving the multitudes away. Or so we are told. After all, that’s what Gandhi said.
We need to stop using this quote and I’m going to give you two good reasons to do so. In the first place, Gandhi was hardly an authority on Jesus. When he says, “I like your Christ” he is referring to a Jesus of his own making, a Jesus plucked haphazardly from the pages of Scripture, a Jeffersonian kind of Jesus, picked and chosen from the accounts of his life. “
PG agrees with Mr. Challies, but for different reasons. To begin with, no one seems to have a source for this quote. What was the context? What language was it said in? This quote is the best answer Mr. Google can supply:
“A 1926 review by the Reverend W.P. King (then pastor of the First Methodist Church of Gainesville, Georgia) of E. Stanley Jones’s The Christ of the Indian Road (published in 1925 by The Abington Press, New York City) includes the following: Dr. Jones says that the greatest hindrance to the Christian gospel in India is a dislike for western domination, western snobbery, the western theological system, western militarism and western race prejudice. Gandhi, the great prophet of India, said, “I love your Christ, but I dislike your Christianity.” The embarrassing fact is that India judges us by our own professed standard. In reply to a question of Dr. Jones as to how it would be possible to bring India to Christ, Gandhi replied: First, I would suggest that all of you Christians live more like Jesus Christ. Second, I would suggest that you practice your Christianity without adulterating it. The anomalous situation is that most of us would be equally shocked to see Christianity doubted or put into practice. Third, I would suggest that you put more emphasis on love, for love is the soul and center of Christianity. Fourth, I would suggest that you study the non-Christian religions more sympathetically in order to find the good that is in them.”
The quote is less than 100 years old, and it is disputed. The reputed words of Jesus were said in Aramaic. They were quoted, after his death, by scribes who never met Jesus, in Greek. These texts were copied by hand and compiled into a canon for the Catholic church. This canon was translated into contemporary languages. And yet, this record of the teachings of Jesus is regarded as the verbatim, inerrant truth.
Another problem with the quote is the use of the word “Christ”. This was an honorific title, and not the name of Jesus. (Some say that the name was closer to Joshua. It was probably an Aramaic name that we would find difficult to pronounce.) There are many people who say that Jesus might not be the Christ.The two names are not synonymous, nor is Christ the last name of Jesus.
Mr. Gandhi had some name issues as well. His birth name was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. Many today refer to him as Mahatma Gandhi. “The word Mahatma, while often mistaken for Gandhi’s given name in the West, is taken from the Sanskrit words maha (meaning Great) and atma (meaning Soul). Rabindranath Tagore is said to have accorded the title to Gandhi. In his autobiography, Gandhi nevertheless explains that he never valued the title, and was often pained by it.”
Mr. Gandhi went to school in England, and worked as a barrister in South Africa. He was a smart man. If you want to put a quote from Mr. Gandhi on your vehicle, here are a few options:
“G-d has no religion”
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.”
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
“One who has any faith in G-d should be ashamed to worry about anything ”
As we said earlier, Gandhi Doesn’t Like Us offers two reasons to not use the quote by Mr. Gandhi. Lets take a look. “Whatever Jesus Gandhi liked was certainly not the Jesus of the Bible. Why then should we care if we do not attain to this falsified version of Jesus? I would be ashamed to have any appearance to the kind of Jesus that Gandhi would deem good and acceptable and worthy of emulation. That Jesus would, of course, have to look an awful lot like Gandhi. So there is one good reason to stop using this quote: because Gandhi fabricated a Jesus of his own making and declared his affection only for this fictional character. He never liked the real thing”.
Arguably, this is what the contemporary church does. The light skinned Jesus of velvet paintings looks little like the real thing. Even critics of the church, who like to talk about what “Jesus really taught”, are relying on the product of a Catholic committee. The truth is, we don’t know very much about the historic Jesus. We fill in the blanks to suit whatever the current agenda is. What you think about Jesus says more about you than it does about Jesus.
Here’s a second reason. Gandhi had a fundamental misunderstanding of himself and of the rest of humanity. Gandhi no doubt loved the way that Jesus related to the downtrodden and disadvantages and assumed that he himself was a leper or Samaritan, when really he was a Pharisee. … Perhaps he might even have deigned to put himself in the place of the Prodigal Son, a man who had gone astray but then found hope and redemption. Whatever the case, the Jesus he liked must have been a Jesus who would love and accept him just as he was and not a Jesus who declared that even a man as good as he was an enemy of G-d.
Jesus spoke kind words and did great deeds; he comforted and healed and gave hope and a future. But not to everyone. Jesus reserved the harshest of words for the religious elite, those who declared that they were holy, that they understood the nature of G-d, that they had achieved some kind of enlightenment. Jesus had no love for such people. It was such people who received the sharpest of his rebukes and the most brutal of his “Woes!” They were the whitewashed tombs, the broods of vipers, the blind guides. Such men did not love Jesus. They may have loved Gandhi’s fabricated Christ but they hated the real one.
Who is the “religious elite” elite of today? Perhaps it is someone who publishes on a slick website, with an ad supporting the abuse of the Palestinian people. Perhaps it is the preacher in Lithonia who uses Jesus to lure teenage boys into his bedroom. Perhaps it is the PJW who conducted a vulgar ministry while working on the clock for redo blue. This PJW ended a tirade with the words, What you see is Jesus changing my life. Perhaps it is those who use Jesus to hurt people. The list goes on and on.
This Jesus, the Jesus of the Bible, would have rebuked Gandhi as he rebuked the Jewish leaders of his day, the people who led people walking behind them on the road to hell. Like them, he was convinced of his own goodness, his own worthiness. There are two good reasons to stop using this quote: Gandhi liked only the Christ of his own making and he believed that he was worthy of the favor of this Christ. On both accounts he was wrong; dead wrong.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. They are Union soldiers, from the War Between the States. Both sides in this conflict believed that Jesus supported them.
Chamblee54 
leave a comment