English Double Feature
Chamblee54 presents a double feature, borrowed from other sources on the internet. One is 21 Reasons Why English is Hard to Learn. There is a similar feature in the Chamblee54 archive, with better pictures. Part two is 10 Words You Mispronounce That Make People Think You’re an Idiot. The commentary is left out today, but is available by following the link, Pictures today are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.</a
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish silverware.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
ATHLETE
Incorrect pronunciation: ath – a – leet
Correct pronunciation: ath – leet
ESCAPE / ESPRESSO / ET CETERA
Incorrect pronunciation: ex – cape / ex – presso / ex – set – err – uh
Correct pronunciation: ess – cape / ess – presso / ett – set – err – uh
NUCLEAR
Incorrect pronunciation: nuke – you – lerr
Correct pronunciation: new – clee – err
PRESCRIPTION / PREROGATIVE
Incorrect pronunciation: purr – scrip – shun / purr – ogg – uh – tiv
Correct pronunciation: pre – scrip – shun / pre – rogg – uh – tiv
UTMOST
Incorrect pronunciation: up – most
Correct pronunciation: utt – most
CANDIDATE
Incorrect pronunciation: can – uh – dett
Correct pronunciation: can – da – dett
SHERBET
Incorrect pronunciation: sherr – berrt
Correct pronunciation: sherr – bet
AWRY
Incorrect pronunciation: aww – ree
Correct pronunciation: uh – rye
FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES
Incorrect pronunciation: “for all intensive purposes”
Correct pronunciation: “for all intents and purposes”
OFTEN
Incorrect pronunciation: off – ten
Correct pronunciation: off – en
Your Life On Text
An all caps graphic washes up on the digital shores from time to time. The author, and copyright status, are not known. It was not written here. Reading it can be a chore, even though it looks cool. It is also selfish… the only opinion that matters is the individual reading it. It doesn’t have a good beat, but you can dance to it. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
This is your life.
Do what you love, and do it often.
If you don’t like something, change it.
If you don’t like your job, quit.
If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop:
They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
Stop over analyzing, life is simple
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people,
We are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is,
And share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often, getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them
So go out and start creating.
Life is short. Live your dream, and wear your passion.
“Do you have to be a poet? If you don’t have to be a poet, be a prose writer. You’ll get further faster. Poetry — there’s probably more poetry published today than any time in the history of the world. Nevertheless, there is this — people think they have this blindness when they see a line in the typography of poetry, and it just blocks them. So if you can say the same thing in prose, you’ll probably be better off” Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Keep It Together
There is a bit of digital wisdom floating through the innertubes, 21 Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed. Some of the ideas are good, and some are not. This focus of this post is going to be the title. It is not what you say, but how you say it.
An effort is made to keep Chamblee54 as a low profanity blog. Sometimes it is necessary to say wirty dirds, and excessive euphemizing is just as annoying as gratuitous cussing. Still, the idea of communications should be to tell a story, and not distract your audience with bad language. You are usually more effective using fewer cusswords.
Which brings us to the S word. Feces is a nasty by product of existence, created by all living beings. It stinks, both literally and figuratively. It contradicts the proverb about profanity being like perfume… a tasteful drop can liven things up. Too much and you send others running away, gasping for air.
The idea of having your act together is a valid one. The word life can be used here just as well. Why one would want to keep a stinking waste product together is a mystery. Regular elimination of feces is important to having a healthy body. Keeping this nasty matter together simply does not make sense.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is written like Isaac Asimov.
Add Vice Subtract Virtue
it is is not about justice
it is having a big emotional experience
that validates privilege
the person judging on you
is just as messed up as you are.
add vice subtract virtue.
The Do-Do Not Study
The polling industry seems to have excess capacity during non election years. An outfit called Public Policy Polling kept the troops busy with a study about conspiracies. Various news reports report the more sensational results to the public. This is a slow news day, and this study should get a lot of attention. PPP will be kept in the public eye, and politicians planning campaigns will be reminded of the existence of PPP.
Here is what the pdf says about methadology. “PPP surveyed 1,247 registered American voters from March 27 to 30. The margin of error for the overall sample is +/-2.8%. This poll was not paid for or authorized by any campaign or political organization. PPP surveys are conducted through automated telephone interviews.
There are twenty opinion questions. There may, or may not, be a reason they were presented in this order. With one exception, these questions begin with “Do”, and end with “or not?”. There are three possible answers… Do, Do Not, Not Sure. While not specified in the study, it is presumed that this was facilitated by pushing one, two, or three on the telephone. It is not indicated whether this was conducted on cell phones, or on land lines. It was not indicated if the voice conducting the survey was male, female, or an automated voice devoid of gender, and accent.
Q1 Do you believe global warming is a hoax, or not?
Q2 Do you believe Osama bin Laden is still alive, or not?
Q3 Do you believe a UFO crashed at Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947, and the US government covered it up, or not?
Q4 Do you believe that a secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government, or New World Order, or not?
Q5 Do you believe Saddam Hussein was involved in the September 11th, 2001, attacks on America, or not?
Q6 Do you believe there is a link between childhood vaccines and autism, or not?
Q7 Do you believe the moon landing was faked, or not?
Q8 Do you believe President Barack Obama is the anti-Christ, or not?
Q9 Do you believe the Bush administration intentionally misled the public about the possibility of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq to promote the Iraq War, or not?
Q10 Do you believe aliens exist, or not?
Q11 Do you believe the CIA was instrumental in distributing crack cocaine into America’s inner cities in the 1980s, or not?
Q12 Do you believe the government adds fluoride to our water supply, not for dental health reasons, but for other, more sinister reasons, or not?
Q13 Do you believe that shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies, or not?
Q14 Do you believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy, or was there some larger conspiracy at work?
Q15 Do you believe in Bigfoot or Sasquatch, or not?
Q16 Do you believe media or the government adds secret mind-controlling technology to television broadcast signals, or not?
Q17 Do you believe that the exhaust seen in the sky behind airplanes is actually chemicals sprayed by the government for sinister reasons, or not?
Q18 Do you believe that the pharmaceutical industry is in league with the medical industry to “invent” new diseases in order to make money, or not?
Q19 Do you believe Paul McCartney actually died in a car crash in 1966 and was secretly replaced by a lookalike so The Beatles could continue, or not?
Q20 Do you believe the United States government knowingly allowed the attacks on September 11th, 2001, to happen, or not?
The exception to the Do-Do Not pattern is question 14. Alternative answers were available for this one question. Q14 Do you believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy, or was there some larger conspiracy at work? Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone ~ There was some larger conspiracy at work ~ Not sure. Only 26% of the 18-29 age group feels there was a conspiracy. The other age groups all answered over 50%, when asked if there was a conspiracy.
The study had six demographic questions at the end. It is not known if there were sample quotas for these groups, or what screening questions were used. Respondents were not asked about family income, or level of education.
Q21 In the last presidential election, did you vote for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?
Q22 Would you describe yourself as very liberal, somewhat liberal, moderate, somewhat conservative, or very conservative?
Q23 If you are a woman, press 1. If a man, press 2.
Q24 If you are a Democrat, press 1. If a Republican, press 2. If you are an independent or identify with another party, press 3.
Q25 If you are Hispanic, press 1. If white, press 2. If African-American, press 3. If other, press 4.
Q26 If you are 18 to 29 years old, press 1. If 30 to 45, press 2. If 46 to 65, press 3. If you are older than 65, press 4.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
More Skepticism About Facebook Graphics
A facebook entity called Skeptics; Atheists; Realists; Agnostics; Humanists recently blessed the digital world with a graphic. The image features a purported quote from Henry Louis Mencken, to the effect that “Morality is doing right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right?” A group with skeptic in it’s name shouldn’t object to a bit of fact checking.
Mr. Mencken was not a religious person. The Baltimore scribe was famous for his cynical sayings. He made up the story of Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub, and watched in horror as people refused to believe that it was a hoax. (Those who enjoy stories about bathtubs might enjoy this radio show, The Bathtubs or the Boiler Room.)
Mr. Mencken may indeed have said it. Wikiquotes does not have the quote, but they are not the last word. It would seem that as much of his written work survives, that, if the quote is genuine, there is a paper trail. PG does not have the inclination to search for this quote.
There is the sense that the poster quote may be a bit on the trite side, for the learned Mr. Mencken. It is a common rhetorical device, which some english teacher has a name for. The writing of Mr. Mencken that this reporter has seen has a bit more subtlety. As the Saturday Evening Post. wrote once, “Too many present-day Americans know Mencken solely through the occasional printed sound-bite which political writers pilfer in an attempt to appear erudite.”
One of the quotes that Wikiquotes turned up was “We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.” This is credited to “Minority Report : H.L. Mencken’s Notebooks (1956)” This says much the same thing as the poster, but with more style.
Mr. Mencken continues to be controversial, years after his death in 1956. Some of his letters have unflattering things to say about Jews, Blacks, Southerners, and a few other groups. On the one hand he said very rude things about Jews; on the other, he denounced the Nazi persecution of Jews years before it was fashionable. Perhaps this “premature anti fascism” was the reason for the FBI keeping a file on him. While he might not have said the poster quote in so many words, many of his writings showed the thought in action. Mr. Mencken might also look down at the vulgarity of facebook graphics, and bumper sticker wisdom. He might not want to be blamed for the words appearing on that poster. UPDATE QuoteFail says they can find no evidence that this is a valid quote.
The Correct Spelling Of Friedrich Nietzsche
In late 1968, Georgia Governor Lester Maddox faced a question about prison reform. He gave what many feel is a common sense answer. “We’re doing the best we can, and before we do much better, we’re going to have to get a better grade of prisoners.”
Before we break down that gubernatorial wisdom, a note on google is appropriate. The only source on the front result page, with the verbatim quote, was Art Buchwald. He is a humor columnist. The piece was in the Toledo Blade, December 2, 1968. The column above is from Drew Pearson, and employs the phrase President Johnson and President elect Nixon. Those were scary times.
Moving along on this wet sunday, someone made an all caps comment on facebook: “NOW HOW REAL IS THAT!!!!” The quote displyed a graphic, based on an alleged saying of Friedrich Nietzsche. “People don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” Readers of this blog should know what comes next. Posting a quote, and saying it is real, is begging for an investigation.
Wikiquotes does not show that quote. The search words used were truth, and illusions. Mr. Nietzsche wrote in German, which PG does not read. He did write some things similar to the poster.
Are designations congruent with things? Is language the adequate expression of all realities? It is only by means of forgetfulness that man can ever reach the point of fancying himself to possess a “truth” of the grade just indicated. If he will not be satisfied with truth in the form of tautology, that is to say, if he will not be content with empty husks, then he will always exchange truths for illusions.
Truths are illusions which we have forgotten are illusions — they are metaphors that have become worn out and have been drained of sensuous force, coins which have lost their embossing and are now considered as metal and no longer as coins.
It should be noted that the wikis sometimes contain mistakes. Since Mr. Nietzsche wrote books, it would seem that a source could be found for this quote, if it is indeed accurate. When you type the phrase “Did Friedrich Nietzsche…” into google, the automated search possibilities are believe in G-d, have children, how did Friedrich Nietzsche die, what did Friedrich Nietzsche believe.
Quote Fail says “This quote appears to have been created within the Tumblr-verse.” They don’t think it is genuine. QF has a coupon for endless enchiladas at a restaurant called on the border.
If you are not too picky, quote factory has posters, available for sale, in eleven different designs. This is a responsible site. “Add corrections to the Quote – Is the Quote wrong? Or the author? Help us making this the most accurate and complete Quote site on the planet!
Today’s exercise is the story of a quote about truth. The quote was presented, with the phrase “NOW HOW REAL IS THAT!!!!” The quote, about truth and illusion, is essentially the truth. However, it is credited to Friedrich Nietzsche, without any more information. There is no comment about context, the original language used, or where this quote is to be found. As it turns out, Mr. Nietzsche probably did not include this quote in his books. This does not make the quote less accurate. The concept of mythos over logos is “real”. However, this does give a twist to this pretzel…if a quote about truth is erroneously credited, is the quote less “real”? Whether the reality of the question is affected by the use of all caps is a question for mighty minds to ponder. Pictures are courtesy of Gwinnett County.
Swat Squad Saturday
I stand in the cold rain
Medicate the pain
And try to remember
To shout out timber
What the rebellion was all about
Liberty cabbage or sauerkraut
As I think about the loss
Of the loudmouth on the cross
And who did what first
And when and where and worst
I wonder if it really matters anymore
When it all seems like a chore
An abyss
Hit or miss
Thank you Lumdog
Pictures are from The Library of Congress
What American Accent Do You Have?
One of those quiz websites has a feature, What American accent do you have? The page is sponsored by Delta and Georgia Natural Gas. There is something icky about those two sharing a link.
The quiz is 13 questions. Most of them give you two words, like cot/caught and don/dawn. You are asked in they sound the same, different, and “Same, no wait I mean different, well, I don’t know…” Other pairs include stock/stalk, collar/caller, pen/pin, and feel/fill.
The result was the South. “That’s a Southern accent you’ve got there. You may love it, you may hate it, you may swear you don’t have it, but whatever the case, we can hear it.” The answers matched 84%.
Curiously, the answers given today were an 81% match for Philadelphia and The Midland. The biggest difference was with Boston (26%) and North Central(20%).
That was so much fun, PG decided to take another one. Youthink has “version 4 of the famous quiz that tells you what accent you have. But it still won`t tell you if you have a Pittsburgh or Vermont accent (sorry).” This one is also sponsored by the gruesome twosome, Delta and Georgia Natural Gas.
The second result was Neutral. You`re not Northern, Southern, or Western, you`re just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don`t really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up."
A third alternative is What Kind of American English Do You Speak? This is sponsored by Methproject.org, which should get you up to speed. This is 20 multiple choice questions, like “You call sweetened, carbonated beverages: Coke Soda Pop.”
This quiz said that the tongue spoken here is General American English. This was a 55% match. Other scores include: 30% Dixie, 10% Yankee, 5% Upper Midwestern, 0% Midwestern. These results are followed by a link: “God chose your birthday for a reason. Instantly learn 12 shocking secrets your birthday reveals about your future!”
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. This is written like Dan Brown.
Make The Cuts
Today is number two in the chamblee54 series of edited facebook graphics. Here is the original. The sanitized version is below. A spelling error was corrected, and the picture is now in grayscale. 
The salary that elected officials is a tiny part of their income. The real money in public service comes from other sources. The “johns” supporting BHO invested a billion dollars into his reelection. The pension noted on the sign is .022% of that. The same dynamic applies to the other officials on that graphic.
The salary of a soldier in Afghanistan is likewise a small percentage of the total cost. Having a war of choice, paid for with a tax cut, has had a devastating impact on the economy.
This is the first place a cut should be made. This soldier needs to come home. With the money that will be needed for his/her medical care, there will likely be little money saved.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Having An Unusual Name
PG would rather work on his computer than watch the oscars. This is a choice. It is made less dangerous by facebook, which can alert PG to every twitch of the ism police. It seems like some racist, sexist, misogynist, and ablist things were said Sunday night. PG would be a terrible person if he were not offended by this behavior.
One of the players is Quvenzhané Wallis, who is getting scads of career boost at the moment. Some speakers did not want to pronounce her name, and got in trouble as a result.
An observer throws this opinion out there: “Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right … Give your children difficult names, so the world may learn how to unfurl its tongue in the direction of our stolen languages.”
PG was known for most of his life as Cam. This is short for Campbell, his middle name. Whenever he was introduced to someone, he had to explain this name. Yes, it is just like a car cam, whatever that is. No, it is not Cal or Kim. It is Cam, C A M. After a while, it became a giant pain in the ass.
The parents responsible for this are kind, loving people. People make mistakes. Who knows what they were thinking when they decided to name their firstborn after an automobive part.
So, go ahead and give your baby an “unusual” name. They might like it. It may also be a source of embarrassment. Being a living human being is tough business. Giving an kid a weird name just might make it a bit tougher. It might be a very selfish thing to do.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
The Trial Of Lenny Bruce
Towards the end of his Booknotes chat, Nat Hentoff talked about censorship. As a journalist, his views were predictable.
Mr. HENTOFF: Any words at all. Words are–I mean, there is a great–there was a great scene in New York once when Lenny Bruce, who was a friend of mine, was on trial for his words. And Richard Cue, the assistant district attorney, was making a name for himself trying to blast all of the witnesses for the defense. And he got Dorothy Kilgallen, who was a very famous then syndicated columnist, a devout Catholic, a conservative and a great admirer of Lenny Bruce. And he con–he strung together, Cue did, all of the words in Lenny’s monologues that could be considered terribly offensive, and he hit her with them. It was a barrage. `What do you think then, Ms. Kilgallen?’ `Well,’ she said, `they’re words. They’re words. That’s all. Words.’ That’s the way I feel.
When PG heard this, he remembered reading about this trial. With the aid of Mr. Google, a transcript turned up. If you like to read about lawyers saying dirty words, this is the place for you.
Dorothy Kilgallen was, to put it mildly, a piece of work. She wrote for the N. Y. Journal American, and stepped on more than a few toes. A biography, Kilgallen, tells a few of the tales. Today, Miss Kilgallen is best known as one of the original panelists on “Whats My Line?”
The People v Lenny Bruce (Cafe Au Go Go Trial) was tried June 16, 1964 to July 28, 1964 in New York City. The Per Curium Opinion of Judge John Murtagh sets the tone. “All three performances of the defendant, Lenny Bruce, were obscene, indecent, immoral and impure within the meaning of Section 1l40-a of the Penal Law. While no tape is available as to the first performance [past midnight, March 31-April 1], this monologue, according to the testimony, was essentially the same as that of the second [April 1, after 10:00 p.m.] and third [April 7, after 10:00 p.m.] performances. In the latter two performances, words such as “ass,” “balls,” “cock-sucker,” “cunt,” “fuck,” “mother-fucker,” “piss,” “screw,” “shit,” and “tits” were used about one hundred times in utter obscenity. The monologues also contained anecdotes and reflections that were similarly obscene.
Dorothy Kilgallen was called as an “expert witness”. In lawyerly fashion, the prosecutor claimed she was not a genuine expert. After her credentials were established, there were questions like “Will you tell us what the artistry, or the social value, or the merit, or the good is, in the Bruce story of sexual intercourse with a chicken?” After the testimony described by Mr. Hentoff, Miss Kilgallen talks about something that does offend her.
Q. I wouldn’t take much time, but we did discuss before Lenny Bruce’s use of the words ‘mother fucker’ at his audience. Can you tell me when James Jones or Norman Mailer or Arthur Miller has called his audience ‘mother fucker?’
Mr. Garbus: Your Honor, may I object? We are talking about books against monologue. It’s completely an irrelevant question.
Judge Murtagh: We will allow it. Objection overruled.
A. I can’t tell you anything verbatim from the books, because I read them a couple of years ago or more. I would imagine–this would be my best guess–that they did not call their audiences anything. There’s another book called The Naked Lunch which I couldn’t even finish reading, but it’s published, and I think the author should be in jail and he used–
Q. Unfortunately we can’t do everything at once, Miss Kilgallen. Are you judging the non-obscene quality and the artistic quality of Bruce by the fact that The Naked Lunch is a book which, as of this date, is sold in the community?
A. No, I’m not. I just mentioned it because you asked me for some books.
Q. And The Naked Lunch is a book you found impossible to read, is that correct?
A. Yes, I found it revolting.
Q. What was revolting about it?
A. Just the way it was written.
Mr.Garbus: Objection, your Honor.
Judge Murtagh: Objection overruled.
A. It seemed to use words for shock value, not for any valid reason, and I object to that.
Q. And when Lenny Bruce–I ask you to turn to the April 1st tape . . . and read the portion starting–‘tits and ass, that’s what is the attraction, is just tits and ass and tits and ass’–and goes on all through the page, and ask you if you find some shock value in that?
A. No, I don’t think it’s particularly shocking, it’s just a word.. . .
Q.. Do you, in your column, use the words tits and ass?
A. Never.
Q. You know exactly what Lenny Bruce was talking about?
A. Yes. . . . I think there he’s being critical of the monotony of what is on view in Las Vegas.
Dorothy Kilgallen died November 8, 1965. Lenny Bruce died August 3, 1966. Kilgallen biographer Lee Israel was convicted of selling forged celebrity letters. Nat Hentoff was laid off from the Village Voice. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. These images are Union soldiers from the War Between the States. The spell check suggestion for Kilgallen is Millennial.
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