Chamblee54

These author insults were borrowed from flavorwire. HT to Andrew Sullivan The pictures are from The Library of Congress This is a repost.
25. Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound “A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.”
24. Virginia Woolf on Aldous Huxley “All raw, uncooked, protesting.”
23. H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw “An idiot child screaming in a hospital.”
22. Joseph Conrad on D.H. Lawrence “Filth. Nothing but obscenities.”
21. Lord Byron on John Keats (1820) “Here are Johnny Keats’ piss-a-bed poetry, and three novels by God knows whom… No more Keats, I entreat: flay him alive; if some of you don’t I must skin him myself: there is no bearing the drivelling idiotism of the Mankin.”
20. Vladimir Nabokov on Joseph Conrad “I cannot abide Conrad’s souvenir shop style and bottled ships and shell necklaces of romanticist cliches.”
19. Dylan Thomas on Rudyard Kipling “Mr Kipling … stands for everything in this cankered world which I would wish were otherwise.”
18. Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen “Miss Austen’s novels . . . seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer . . . is marriageableness.”
17. Martin Amis on Miguel Cervantes “Reading Don Quixote can be compared to an indefinite visit from your most impossible senior relative, with all his pranks, dirty habits, unstoppable reminiscences, and terrible cronies. When the experience is over, and the old boy checks out at last (on page 846 — the prose wedged tight, with no breaks for dialogue), you will shed tears all right; not tears of relief or regret but tears of pride. You made it, despite all that ‘Don Quixote’ could do.”
16. Charles Baudelaire on Voltaire (1864) “I grow bored in France — and the main reason is that everybody here resembles Voltaire…the king of nincompoops, the prince of the superficial, the anti-artist, the spokesman of janitresses, the Father Gigone of the editors of Siecle.”
15. William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
14. Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
13. Gore Vidal on Truman Capote “He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.”
12. Oscar Wilde on Alexander Pope “There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”
11. Vladimir Nabokov on Ernest Hemingway (1972) “As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it.”
10. Henry James on Edgar Allan Poe (1876) “An enthusiasm for Poe is the mark of a decidedly primitive stage of reflection.”
09. Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”
08. Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger “I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”
07. D.H. Lawrence on Herman Melville (1923) “Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste, than Herman Melville, even in a great book like ‘Moby Dick’…. One wearies of the grand serieux. There’s something false about it. And that’s Melville. Oh dear, when the solemn ass brays! brays! brays!”
06. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning “I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”
05. Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust (1948) “I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.”
04. Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898) “I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
03. Virginia Woolf on James Joyce “the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”
02. William Faulkner on Mark Twain (1922) “A hack writer who would not have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven sure fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”
01. D.H. Lawrence on James Joyce (1928) “My God, what a clumsy olla putrida James Joyce is! Nothing but old fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
Bonus. Mary McCarthy on Lillian Hellman “Every word she writes is a lie, including and and the.”
Bonus two, a comment to the original post.: RomanHans Re “The Cardinal’s Mistress” by Benito Mussolini, Dorothy Parker wrote one of my favorite bon mots: “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

A few days ago, there was a comment on facebook. PG felt a comment coming on. There is a document on his desktop for emergencies like this. This is what was finally posted. – “I have gotten into the habit of typing comments in a word document, editing, and then deciding whether or not to post. Often, once I get it out of my system, I choose to not post it. I can always compile these old comments into a blog post which will confuse everybody”. ~ There are no pressing issues to discuss today. A little girl pouring cereal on daddy in a commercial just doesn’t do it. This seems like a good day to recycle the emergency document. We can start with the second part of the comment above. When you pre-write comments, you can leave out parts that will offend. ~ 2- I have seen some threads with so called liberal, enlightened people. Some of these threads are just as ignorant and judgmental as the Fox news crowd. ~ As Ann Althouse might say, “I’m an idiot I’m a drunkard “ ~ Pontius Pilate likes this.
In the post, the word attitudes was used. In the fb response, the word beliefs was used. When I tried to find more information about this, the word values came up. This formed a three word group… attitude, belief, values. Later, I mentioned that if someone was going to label someone else a racist, then they should educate themself about contemporary race thinking. This led to a comment about false equivilency. ~ Maybe a moratorium on the r word is needed. It has been defined to the point where it no longer has a meanning. ~ “The absurd is sin without God.” — Albert Camus ~ Comments are filtered for language and registration is required. The Times makes no guarantee of comments’ factual accuracy. Readers may report inappropriate comments by clicking the Report Abuse link next to a comment. Here are the full legal terms you agree to by using this comment form. ~ What about “the regular marginalization, threats, and violence that occur against” ALL PEOPLE?
Saying that condoms are “only” 80% effective is problematic. Do you have a link for that? That is a study I would like to read the fine print on. A problem with saying something like that is when people hear it, they decide a condom is not worth the effort. A condom that is not used is 100% ineffective. ~ Fox should change it’ s name to Wolf, like the one the little boy cried about. They have done so much negative squealing about BHO that many do not believe them. When a serious screw up like Benghazi took place, many thought it was just more hot air from the conservatives. ~ Any U.S. tax advice contained in the body of this e-mail was not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by the recipient for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed under the Internal Revenue Code or applicable state or local tax law provisions. ~ Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood I get on dating websites and apps and point out their problematic language to them. It never goes well.
some bedsprings were squeaking in denver to make another puker ~ “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.” ― Franz Kafka ~ This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn’t abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. ~ neil and bob were walking in the park. they saw a dog licking his balls. neil said I wish i could do that. bob said why don’t you pet him first. ~ Liberal and conservative are meaningless labels. This is true with capital letters or small letters. The use of these words as insults says more about the talker than the object of derision. The same goes for terrorist. Hypocrisy is in the eye of the beholder. ~ 1- When you have a quote like this thirty seven seconds in, you know it is going to be fun. 2- Dan Savage has a good story about a man and his horse. There was a man in Kentucky, the KY state, that had sex with his horse. At the end of the interview, Mr. Savage asked the KY man the gender of the horse. The man said it was a female horse. He was offended that Mr. Savage would think that he was homosexual, by carrying on with a male horse. ~ I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it. – Dame Judith Sitwell
After not heeding the teacher’s warning for excessive talking, Jung Li learned the hard way to obey authority. ~ I went to get my drivers license renewed once. There was a sign in the office. At the time, the State of Georgia had a program to encourage the “drug free workplace”. The sign said to contact the state, and we will help get your employees off drugs. The phrase they used was “get you up to speed”. ~ pg to uzi you can see more scenery at the park without listening to my comments uzi to pg you assume that i am listening ~ “The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” — Andrew Ross ~ If someone “defriends” you because of a facebook post, then that person was probably not your friend. ~ This comment has been removed for violation of the visitor agreement. ~ There was this great idea for a visual display. A cool way to present the words. The only problem was the creator. He didn’t have anything to say.
Free Wood Post is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within FreeWoodPost.com are fiction, and presumably fake news.Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. FreeWoodPost.com is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience. ~ That is how the internet goes. I have written things that I thought was important, and they were ignored. Write some silly stuff, and you get attention. I don’t know what to make of it. but I am not going to give up. Regarding the HRC… I have heard criticism for a long time, but have seen little substantial evidence. I have seen some discussions about HRC, and the equal sign, that got very ugly. That sort of toxicity does nobody any good.
as much fun as this little titter tat has been let me close it out by saying we are completely incompattible in every way imaginable, but I wish you the very best of luck. ~ Tom Clancy sold insurance before he wrote books. “I never do life insurance. It is too morbid. I do fire and casualty” ~ Ann Althouse on guns and suicide. ~ When we were preparing to invade Iraq, there was a tax cut passed, with the support of both parties. This one act shows the divide between rhetoric and reality on a number of levels. People who claim to be pro life wanted to go kill women and children eight time zones away. People who claim to support smaller government wanted to send 200k troops eight time zones away, to kill women and children. People who claim to want fiscal responsibility voted for a tax cut, before sending 200k troops eight time zones away to kill women and children. ~ I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots Albert Einstein Luther Mckinnon I suspect that Dr. Einstein did not say that. Wikiquotes does not have this quote. Whenever you see a quote without a source, you should suspect it. Also, what is the context? If a comment is true, it does not need a famous name at the end. Carrie Williams Thanks Debbie Downer
Joker Guarantee If there is any defect in this pack we shall be glad to replace it. Return it unused to The United States Playing Card Company Cincinnati, Ohio 45212 ~ @tejucole I learn more about privilege from what I get wrong about misogyny than from what I get right about racism. ~ An individual may contribute up to $2,600 for the primary election and $2,600 for the general election. Contributions are limited by federal law. Contributions are not tax deductible as charitable contributions. Federal law requires us to use our best efforts to report the name, mailing address, occupation, and name of employer of individuals whose contributions exceed $200 during an election cycle. Federal law prohibits contributions from a corporation, labor organization, or national bank. Federal law also prohibits contributions made in the name of another, from federal government contractors, or from foreign nationals. ~ And so my advice to all young people who wish to become poets is: do something easy, like learning how to blow up the world- e e cummings
A chilling comment. ~ Aaron Coady is a barroom performer who can’t hold his liquor. This is probably what happened when he wrote that autograph. ~ Ke$ha had to break up with her bf. They went to dinner, and he ordered the GMO special. He explained that Madonna’s felching diet needs his help. Ke$ha was offended that the bf was cheating on her with a Catholic billionaire. Madonna is going be whipping, and eating out of, his ass until 2014, when Obamacare can rescue him. ~ I you like me, then I am probably going to like you. If you don’t like me, then I probably will not like you. That covers a lot of human interaction. ~ Selah

PG is not a math freak. However, he does appreciate the Fibonacci sequence, and the golden rectangle. Recently a picture project utilized these numbers. (2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21)
The medium is faux stained glass. To get the colors, sticker paper is applied to a film base. There is an one eighth inch overlap between the sections. This overlap serves the same purpose as solder in stained glass. The images are designed on a grid. Each block is half an inch square, with one eight inch overlap on all sides. In the design phase, a half size model is used.
The design is a grid of rectangles and squares. The Fibonacci sequence of numbers is used. Horizontally, the 5 rows are 3 tiles wide, 5 tiles wide, 8 tiles wide, 13 tiles wide, and 21 tiles wide. Vertically, the rows are 2 tiles wide, 3 tiles wide, 5 tiles wide, 8 tiles wide, and 13 tiles wide. The totals are 50 tiles wide, and 31 tiles tall. This is close to the 1.61:1 ratio of the golden rectangle.
The final product is 18.875″ x 11.75″. It is centered on a format sheet 22″ x 17″, the standard size for these projects. The picture was designed, and the models built, at half size. The models were 9.4375″ x 5 .875″. (These dimensions are typically described using fractions. PG has a scale with the dimensions on it. The decimal numbers are easier to use in this text.)
The models are built using scrap from previous projects. The colors are assembled in the required shapes, and changed until the best arrangement is found. Normally, the biggest size building block is 3×4, or .625″ x .8125″. Since some large spaces were going to be filled in, PG decided to put tick marks on the design, to show where the individual tiles would go. This made for a model with a very neat appearance, which PG found appealing. A decision was made to break the shapes down into the smaller units. This would create a rhythm within the picture.
At first, the smaller tiles were arranged portrait style, that is they had the four tile side standing vertical. One night, PG realized that the picture was flowing horizontally, and that the smaller tiles needed to be portrait style, with the three tile side as the vertical side. The next move was to change the 3×4 tile to a 3×5 tile, which is a Fibonacci sequence of numbers.
There were now 3 dimensions in this model: 2 tiles (.4375″), 3 tiles (.625″) and 5 tiles (1.0″). There are four sizes of tiles: 2 x 3, 2 x 5, 3 x 3, and 3 x 5. There is a pattern. They start in the top left corner with small numbers, and work down into the large numbers at the bottom right. The bottom right has 5 rows of tiles by 5 rows of tiles, just like the overall picture.
As the model began to progress, a decision was made to do some sections as a green-blue checkerboard. This alternates with red and yellow sections. A decision was made to do the red and yellow sections as one solid tile in the final product, and keep the grid pattern in the green-blue sections.
Grayscale pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. The other two are a photograph of the final product, 345 fibnuchi, and a sample of the design grid.

Heather Has a Mommy and a Daddy
Deep in the heart of Dullsville, at the end of a cul-de-sac, behind a lawn of scratchy brown grass dotted with giant plastic butterflies, three flaking cement deer, and a philodendron the size of Bob Hoskins though with fewer decorative parts, lives Heather Thompson. Heather has a mommy and a daddy. Heather’s daddy is an accountant. Her mommy is a homemaker. Before Heather was born they met, fell in love, and got married. “I love you very much and I’m having your child,” Heather’s mom said.
Danitra is Heather’s best friend. One of Danitra’s dads is an empowerment facilitator. The other is an aura consultant. Danitra doesn’t know what they do at work, except they don’t need briefcases. Before Danitra was born her daddies met and fell in love, and after seventeen years spent discussing caring and support, handling acceptance, and negotiating intimacy, they had a commitment ceremony. “I love you very much and I’m designing the rings,” Danitra’s Daddy Mike said.
One day in school Heather’s teacher, Mrs. Weinberg-Lopez, tells the class to draw pictures of their families. Danitra draws two men, Julio draws two women, and Heather draws a man and a woman. Keanu points at the woman Heather drew, with squiggly yellow hair, a crude red dress and simple brown shoes. “This dad here’s got some ugly drag going on,” he says.
At lunchtime Danitra sits on the bench next to Heather and pulls a sandwich out of a brown paper bag.“Want to trade?” Danitra asks. “I’ve got grilled eggplant and goat cheese on marjoram foccacia.” “Um, I didn’t bring lunch,” Heather stammers, kicking her brown paper bag out of sight. “I’m … uh … on a diet.”
“Diet?” Danitra asks. “Haven’t your dads told you not to buy into that patriarchal looks-based chauvinism? And anyway, what’s this then?” she asks, holding up the bag with “HAVE A SUPER DAY!” written in sparkle marker on it.
Julio, who was listening nearby, runs up and grabs Heather’s lunch. “Yeah, what’s this? It’s somebody’s lunch!” Heather jumps at the bag but Julio holds it out of reach. “You give that back!” Heather yells. “Try and make me!” Julio chides. He pulls Heather’s sandwich apart and drops it like it was electrified. He wobbles away, holding his stomach.
“Oh my God!” he cries. “There’s like dead stuff in there!” Danitra looks at the sandwich lying on the cement. “Is that MEAT? Is that like SPAM?” Claudia, sitting quietly at the other end of the bench, bursts into tears. “Heather’s eating BAMBI!” “It’s friggin’ Wonder Bread!” Julio scoffs. Keanu walks toward the bread and peers at it. “And it’s got LUBE all over it!” “You idiot, that’s MAYONNAISE.” “What’s mayonnaise?” “It’s like goat cheese for heterosexuals.”
“Heterosexuals?” Keanu asks. “Heather’s mommy and daddy are heterosexuals?” Heather starts to yell. “No! I don’t have a mommy and a daddy. I’ve got two daddies!” “Hell-OOOO!” Danitra says, drawing the word out to twelve syllables. “We can see your clothes!” “Um . . . “ Heather stalls, “then I’ve got two mommies.” “And we’ve seen you play baseball,” Julio answers.
Heather, unable to think of a response, sits on the bench and starts to cry. Danitra pulls a robin’s egg blue bandana from her pocket and dabs at Heather’s face. “Maybe your mom’s not really a woman,” Danitra offers. “Well,” Heather says, sniffing, “she cleans the house, and cooks, and does the laundry.” Danitra fumes. “We’re trying to establish that she’s female, not that she’s an idiot.”
“Maybe your dad’s not really a man,” Julio suggests.“Well,” Heather answers, wiping her nose. “He’s big and strong and he’s got a mustache.” Several of the children wonder what this proves but nobody says anything.
“So let’s say you’ve got a mom and a dad,” Keanu says. “Then where did you come from?”Heather thinks for a minute. “They went to bed together, and then I was born.” Some of her friends express further interest, but Heather doesn’t have a brochure. “Daddy put his thing in mommy — “
“Oh, man,” Keanu interjects. “Is that legal?” “HelLLLLO!” sings Danitra, who gets the word up to eighteen syllables this time. “We’re in CaliFORnia!”
“And nine months later I came out of my mommy’s tummy,” Heather adds. Several of the children wonder why they didn’t hire a surrogate with a vagina but nobody says anything.

Heather Has a Mommy and a Daddy, Part Two
One night there’s a dance at Heather’s school and her parents offer to chaperone. While Heather’s dancing with Danitra she sees from the corner of her eye her mom and dad moving onto the dance floor. She watches in horror as her mom just sort of stands there swaying, her gingham granny dress limply hanging to the floor. She grimaces as her dad starts chopping at the air like Jackie Chan being attacked by locusts.
Occasionally their movements coincide with the beat. Heather runs to the bathroom crying.“Heather, don’t feel so bad,” Danitra says. “Lots of kids have embarrassing parents.” She starts to lead Heather out of the bathroom, then stops. “Um, maybe we should stay in here a while longer. They just started doing the Bump.”
One day the class projects are due. Heather brings in the model she’s made. It’s a lump of brown Play-Doh with ketchup poured over it and dotted with marshmellows stuck on with toothpicks. She sets it on the table as her teacher comes over to look.
“Why, Heather! That’s . . . nice! Very very nice!”“What the hell is it?” Tommy asks. “TOMMY! Heather’s parents had me over for dinner once. This is what they call ‘Salisbury steak.’” Heather bursts into tears. “NO IT’S NOT! It’s a VOLCANO! That’s lava, and that’s steam coming out.”
Danitra enters and places her project next to Heather’s on the table. “Why, Danitra, what’s this?” Danitra delicately removes the sheet protecting her project. “Versailles.”
Heather takes one look at the tiny replica of Louis XIV’s summer home, constructed by Danitra and her two dads out of two hundred cubic yards of teak plank, thirty square feet of gold leaf, sixty pounds of Italian travertine marble from the same quarry Michelangelo used, tiny topiary and functional miniature fountains, and cries even harder.
“Why did I have to have a mom and a dad?” Heather sobs. “Why can’t my family be like all the rest?”
Mrs. Weinberg-Lopez pulls Heather close. “Children,” she says,”every family is special, including those conforming to the rigid, stereotypical standard of male domination.” She starts to tell the class about her own family, including her hearing-impaired Hispanic mother, her height-challenged Israeli father, and her Gypsy recovering-substance-abusing brother-in-law and Armenian sex-addict half-sister, but stops, realizing the school year is only 4,074 hours long.
“Just because Heather’s parents are heterosexual doesn’t mean they’re slow-witted philistines, though there are strong correlations you don’t need a PhD in statistics to understand. But Heather is lucky to have a sweet mom and a wonderful dad and a dog named Molly and a hamster named Samson, and they all live together in a lovely house. They’ve got interesting avocado-colored appliances, carpet as long as your hair, and furniture that‘s by-and-large wood that must have taken them hours to assemble. There’s a big plastic sofa that turns into a bed, and a La-Z-Boy — ”
“A what?” Keanu asks. “A La-Z-Boy,” Mrs. Weinberg-Lopez repeats. “It’s a big vinyl chair that reclines.” “Oh, man!” exclaims Keanu, covering his face with his hands. “And I thought our Herman Miller reproductions were embarrassing!”
Mrs. Weinberg-Lopez continues. “But the important thing is, they’re a family. They’re a group united for a common purpose, where each individual is given a sense of empowerment and their shared bonds are formalized in a ritualistic manner.” “Oh,” the students respond in unison. Everybody hugs.
THE END
The story was borrowed from World Class Stupid.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.