Gender Bender
There was a band called The Kinks. They did a show at the Atlanta Municipal Auditorium. Before a number called “Lola”, the vocalist taught the audience their part of the song. If you are a man, you sing Lo La. If you are a woman, you sing La La La La. If you are not sure, just clap your hands.
The concept of gender confusion is well tested. To help with household items, we present the guide below.
FREEZER BAGS: Male. They hold everything in, but you can see right through them PHOTOCOPIERS: Female. Once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons. TIRES: Male. They go bald easily and are often over inflated HOT AIR BALLOONS: Male. To get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES: Female. They are soft, squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES: Female. They are constantly being looked at, and frequently getting hit on. This blog is an exception. TRAINS: Male. They always use the same old lines for picking up people. EGG TIMERS: Female. Over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS: Male .For the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
Tony Davis and Mark MacPhail
On September 23 at 7 pm., the State of Georgia is scheduled to kill Troy Anthony Davis.
Mr. Davis is accused of the Murder of Mark MacPhail. As Wikipedia describes the incident: Mark Allen MacPhail, a 27 year old Savannah, Georgia police officer, was moonlighting as a security guard at a bus station in Georgia in the early hours of 19 August 1989. He was shot attempting to break up a melee in a Burger King parking lot. In full uniform he ran to stop a man who was striking a homeless man, Larry Young, with a .38 pistol. The assailant ran off. When MacPhail called out for him to stop, the assailant shot him under his bullet-proof vest and then in the head as he fell.
Tony Davis admits to being at the scene of the crime. He maintains he did not kill Mark MacPhail. Despite this, he was convicted in 1991 and sentenced to death.
The conviction was based on eyewitness testimony. The weapon was never found. There is no physical evidence linking Mr. Davis to the murder. Seven of the nine witnesses have recanted. There is evidence of police coercion of these witnesses. Two of the witnesses have been fingered as possible killers. For a roundup of these stories, go here and look in the comments.
The scheduled execution has gotten a lot of attention worldwide. Many celebrities are opposed. Anyone wishing to sign an online petition can go here.
Update: Chamblee54 has three more posts about Troy Davis.
Seven Things about Seven Part Two
Part one, “Eight things about Seven“, is on my old blog.
Once again, thanks and praises go to Wikipedia. The other sources are cited where appropriate.
Seven Samurai–Kambei Shimada, Gorōbei Katayama, Shichirōji, Heihachi Hayashida, Katsushirō Okamoto, Kyūzō, Kikuchiyo
The Magnificent Seven- Chris Adams, Harry Luck, Vin, Bernardo O’Reilly, Britt, Lee, Chico
Seven Wonders of the Ancient World-Great Pyramid of Giza, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Statue of Zeus at Olympia, Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, Mausoleum of Maussollos at Halicarnassus ,Colossus of Rhodes, Lighthouse of Alexandria
Rome is built on Seven hills: Palatine, Capitoline, Quirinal, Viminal, Esquiline, Caelian, and Aventine. Thank you SevenMagazine.
The Seven Sisters: Barnard College, Bryn Mawr College, Mount Holyoke College, Radcliffe College, Smith College, Vassar College, and Wellesley College.
“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion and desire.” Aristotle 384 BC-322 BC Thank you Thinkexist.
The Magnificent Seven are seven cemeteries used by the citizens of nineteenth century London.:Kensal Green Cemetery , West Norwood Cemetery ,Highgate Cemetery , Abney Park Cemetery ,Nunhead Cemetery ,Brompton Cemetery , Tower Hamlets Cemetery
Uppitality
There has been a bit of commotion lately about the word “Uppity”. It seems like a Georgia Congressman ( that bastion of enlightenment) referred to a certain half white Presidential candidate as Uppity. Certain keyboards of the internet were not amused.
Before we get any further with this episode, it should be noted that BHO does not lack for self confidence. He can come across as cold and arrogant. The word Uppity just might fit him. JSM, by contrast, has a certain good natured charm. It might be an act, but he does pull it off.
Back to Uppitality. The digital naysayers were referring to a racist origin for Uppity. According to Dictionary.com: Uppity 1880, from up; originally used by blacks of other blacks felt to be too self-assertive (first recorded use is in “Uncle Remus”). The parallel British variant uppish (1678) originally meant “lavish;” the sense of “conceited, arrogant” being first recorded 1734. The more modern Urban Dictionary had several definitions, most centered around the terms arrogant, conceited, and snob. None of the UD definitions was racially based. The UD did have some sub phrases, like Uppity cracker ” stupid cracker that can’t keep his mouth shut” Uppity negro ” a fearless black person who by social definition is “not in their place” and Uppity whodie do. The last one is “the g-rated way to say utter c**t. uptight, b****y, or just plain intolerable”
The U word has some other uses. The phrase ” Uppity Women Unite” has been on many bumper stickers. A visit to a search engine shows businesses like “Uppity Puppies” and “Uppity Events”.
I sat in on a conversation in Tennessee a few years back. This was at a community of rather eccentric folk, which coexisted with its backwoods neighbors very well. One of the old timers of the area said that most people minded their own business . “The one thing you do not want people to think about you here is that you are Uppity”
HT to Puntabulous for steering me to the Urban Dictionary. Puntabulous published a delightful piece this morning, “The Guide to misleading sexual phrases”. His readers supplied many more examples in the comments, and UD was outstanding at defining them. Several were TMI.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
urbandictionary- dictionary, jurisdictional
uppitality- hospitality, vitality, capitalist, brutality, capitalize
Dictionary.com-discretionary, reactionary, functionary
whodie- Rhodie, who die
From the Back Porch
So Sarah Palin ( as played by Tina Fey) can see Russia from her back porch.
The closeness of Alaska and Siberia is well known. When I started to look for information, I began with the Aleutian Islands. They string along for hundreds of miles, and cause a dent in the International Date Line. As for which is the last one, and when does Alaska turns into Russia, those are good questions.
So, another search angle was required. The Alaskan government supplied this: Alaska and Russia are less than 3 miles apart at their closest point in the Bering Strait where two islands, Russia’s Big Diomede Island and Alaska’s Little Diomede Island, are located. In winter it is possible to walk across the frozen Bering Strait border between these two islands. At its closest, the American mainland and the Russian mainland are 55 miles apart where Alaska’s Seward Peninsula and Russia’s Chukotka Peninsula reach out to each other.
Alaska is a big place. It has ten times the land mass of Georgia, with less population than Gwinnett County. There is a town on Little Diomede Island called Diomede. It checks in at 65°N 168°W. ( For our purposes today, we are going to ignore minutes and seconds) The town of Wasilla is the home of Sarah Palin. It can be found at 61°N 149°W . In other words, Diomede is four degrees north of Wasilla, and Nineteen degrees west.
Lets put this in local terms. Atlanta is 33°N 84°W . According to my atlas, 37°N 103°W is the point where New Mexico, Colorado, and Oklahoma come together. I cannot see that from my back porch.
sbkm
Yesterday Sarah Palin went back to Alaska. There was a rally of her fans. And another rally of those who are not fans.
The second rally was designed for Women to show that not everybody in the 49th state likes the Governor. Attendees were encouraged to bring home made signs, Men and (other) children were welcome.
When announcing the event, the word got to a wing nut radio whiner. As Mudflats reports : “One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots” , and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought.”
The rally happened anyway. According to Mr. Flats, the organizers counted 1400 people, along with many supportive drivebys.
Born to Sarah Palin
There is a blog in Alaska called Mudflats. He uses the same template as me. Where I have my eyes, he has a black and white landscape, with a lot of mud. The two images have something in common.
Mr. Mud has a few things to say about Sarah Palin.
Today, there is the Sarah Palin name generator. As the fine print says:Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children. There’s Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
Ever wonder what your name would be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Well now you can find out!
I have too much time on my hands. Is that a problem?
Luther Mckinnon, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Crunk Petrol Palin Who knows, Crunk Petrol Palin you just might be president one day!
The fact that I am ten years older than Mrs. Palin doesn’t matter.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
crunk- trunk, drunk, crunch, clunk, chunk, crank
Rather have a steak dinner
1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Seven Years Ago
Many people are telling their 911 stories. Mine is not that dramatic. I was at work, and someone called out that someone had run a plane into the World Trade Center. I didn’t think much of it, until I heard that the second tower had been hit, then the pentagon, then the towers collapsed, then a plane crashed in Pennsylvania.
I focused on my job most of the day. There was always melodrama at that facility, and concentrating on my duties helped to keep me sane. 091101 was roughly the halfway point of my seven year tenure at this place. There was an unfortunate association with a professional Jesus worshipper. After the extent of the damage became known, he shouted “ They are doing this for Allah”. He then prayed at his desk. After learning what a hateful loudmouth this man was, the spectacle of him praying was repulsive.
I became alienated from Jesus during these years. Once I had once been tolerant of Christians and Jesus, as one would be with an eccentric relative. I came to loath the entire affair.I do not make excuses for Jesus. I hear of others who found comfort in religion during this difficult time, but that option was not available for me.
Tastes Great Less Filling
One of the blogs I read everyday is “Puntabulous”. Written by a self described dork named Craig, Puta Punta is good, lightweight fun.
Earlier this week he posted “Why I hate Politics”. He listed the usual suspects. The hype, the cattiness, and the hypocrisy were all mentioned.
One time a man told a preacher, “I don’t like to go to church. There are too many hypocrites there” “There is always room for one more”
I add a comment.
1- Politics gives bloggers plenty to write about. 2- When two cars crash with bloody results, you can’t look at it and you can’t look away. 3- The system of bribes campaign contributions is what is really putrid. The corporate media loves this mess, because they can sell overpriced commercials to the criminal candidates. 4- There is equality. Black politicians are just as rotten as white politicians. 5- With state and local governments, there is no limit to the fun. I would say something to you about New York politicians, but I am from Georgia. 6- Two wrongs don’t make a right. Even if the wrongdoer is Ted Kennedy. 7- Just like amerikan politics, this comment is three items shy of a top ten list.
Edgewood Tavern
Pulling into the parking lot on Edgewood Avenue, I was still a bit uncertain whether I wanted to go inside. Then a car pulled out of the full lot. I took this as a sign to go inside.
The first part of the evening saw twelve people sitting down. John was making a name chart, which does help a newcomer with names. John said something about Panama, and Duane kicked in with a palindrome. This led to moosehunter Palin. Harassarah was the closest to a Palin drome I could think of, although we may soon have eight years to ponder this.
Later, the possibility of a post election Playboy spread was discussed for hockeymom. And yes, she is smarter than George Bush.
There was a first downstairs. John asked me what my blog name was, and what I was trying to do. The concept of pretty pictures and ugly opinions got talked about. I then learned that the gentleman who came in after me produced foto404. We discussed multi colored text…he finds it difficult to read…and music players that come on automatically…I think they are terrible.
While this was going on, the waitress did an excellent job with the table service. I got a cup of coffee, with one refill. There were separate checks. I got out with paying two dollars, including the tip. I didn’t order any food, but those who did seemed happy.
After a while, the party moved upstairs to the pool room. Several discussions broke out, on facebook friends, life at the fishwrapper, karaoke, going back to school, and trying to prove the big bang. John had an idea for a pool game…two people would start, and then hand the stick to someone else to take the next shot. When he found out that it was ten dollars an hour to rent the table, this was forgotten. Before long I was wondering when to leave. I got tired of waiting on others to say goodbye, and went down the stairs.
Grip on Reality
The phone rang at 1:45. All PG had to do with his blog post was add the pictures, hit publish, and look at the results. He knew it was Uzi calling about their sunday afternoon walk.
I looked for a nature preserve behind briarcliff high school, and i found another one over off north decatur. you must really hate the thought of going to piedmont park After a few minutes deliberation, the hikers agreed to meet behind the waffle house, and go down to the park.
This is as far as I got Sunday. Before I finished this, I made a trip to Buckhead. On my way back, I heard a radio commercial. “The concert is free, with a donation to help keep Smyrna Beautiful”
“So this friend of mine has a blog. He has a post about dragon con, with lots of pictures. Then he had a post about the Republican Convention. My comment was, comparing Dragon Con and The Repub convention, which group had the better grip on reality? I like what Rush Limbaugh said. God, Guns, and Babes, we got us a candidate Lets go walk over here, there is more shade and I have an idea for a picture. I hear that dragon con has gotten republican anyway, with greedy owners squeezing every dime they can. Of course, I have never been to it This monument is neat. You can pose next to it and paste in whatever you want where the sign used to be. you know, people always seem to like it when you take pictures of their dog What are you going to do with all those dog pictures? Paste them onto that picture of Sarah Palin. The one with her in a bikini holding a rifle There had been irresponsible talk about taking the long route around the softball fields by Grady High School. The reality is that the first sunday of september is pretty hot in Georgia. The two humans then passed the doggie park, and decided to go for a walk, sans canines. The doggie park had big rocks for dogs, and a few benches for people. The dogs and the people were very well behaved. Where do we go from here? The most direct route to your car, with the most shade
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