Something To Think About
In the wake of 911, the following email wormed its way around the internet. It is a classic of the genre. PG will add comments.This is a repost.
This letter references an appearance by Anne Graham Lotz. on “The Early Show”. Thank you, Angel Ministries, for the transcript. Mrs. Lotz is the daughter of Billy Graham. They also say, regarding the Early Show comments and the following email, “Any mutation of it on the Internet would have occurred without Mrs. Lotz’s involvement.”
Subject: SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT i recently got this email from a close relative and i was left in awe about what Billy Grahams daughter says on TV. also the things that she says is shockinly true. i hope you read through this medium sized email and have a little food for mind in whatever you say in the future. G-d Bless. Javi
In light of the many perversions and jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her “How could G-d let something like this happen?” (regarding the attacks on Sept. 11).
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said “I believe G-d is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling G-d to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect G-d to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”
In light of recent events…terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. It was the Supreme Court which ruled that Public School Prayer was unconstitutional. It was a controversial decision.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school ….. the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. The Bible says a lot of other things as well.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK. Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. The school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don’t want any bad publicity, and we surely don’t want to be sued (there’s a big difference between disciplining, touching, beating, smacking, humiliating, kicking, etc.). And we said OK. Maybe this is a good time to ask who this WE person is. A lot of parents disagree with this concept. Many of the people who don’t want corporal punishment have good reasons for feeling this way. Also, in that parenthetic statement at the end, PG wonders what is being compared to what. There is a list of actions, and no way to know what is not what.
Then someone said, let’s let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won’t even have to tell their parents. And we said OK. Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they’re going to do it anyway, let’s give our sons all the condoms they want so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won’t have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said OK.
Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn’t matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. Agreeing with them, we said it doesn’t matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good. Ah, nostalgia for good times past. A good economy was a healthy thing, no matter what went on in the Oval Office. The next President started a War of Choice in private, and the economy is not good.
Then someone said let’s print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said OK. And then someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then further again by making them available on the Internet. And we said OK, they’re entitled to free speech. This bit of rhetoric may be the biggest lie in this letter. Child pornography is an aggressively prosecuted crime. Government agencies have been known to advertise such materials, and then bust anyone who answers the ad. PG has NEVER heard anyone say that child pornography is protected by free speech.
Then the entertainment industry said, let’s make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. Let’s record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it’s just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. In the years after 911, we have engaged in wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. There are lots of strangers being killed over there. But, it is going a bit far to say that it doesn’t bother soldiers to kill strangers. PTSD and suicide are serious problems among troops who have been to war in Babylon.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.” Funny how simple it is for people to trash G-d and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Many of the people who forwarded this message whine about “liberal media bias”, but call the Bible the “Word of G-d”.
Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of G-d is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing? Does a cynical smirk count?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it. It is a good idea to only send a message to someone who is going to trust what you say. If they don’t trust you, what is the point? Also, if a message about G-d creates ill will, is that message not in vain? Any questions about this, see the Third Commandment.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what G-d thinks of us. If G-d lives in the hearts of Man, is there a difference between what man thinks and what G-d thinks? Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it… no one will know you did. But, if you discard this, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
Motivational Recycling
This is a repost double feature. It is on the general subject of motivation, inspiration, and manipulation. Such things are like perfume…nice to sniff at, but dangerous to swallow. Pictures are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
Back when I was at redo blue, we traded some printing for a motivational speech. The speaker was D. J. Harrington. He came on stage with a telephone handset, demonstrating how to answer the telephone. There were a lot of statistics, like you get 50 percent more information when you use your left ear. ( This is a made up example, not a quote. I don’t remember any of his examples) It reminded me of something a teacher said once…: ” The best way to win an argument is to use statistics. The best way to get statistics is to make them up”
On the all important issue of what to say when you answer the squawk box, he suggested “How may I direct your call?” Now, I like to identify the company and myself as briefly as possible, and quit wasting the customer’s time. Mister customer knows why he called. HMIDYC is seven unnecessary syllables that do your customer no good.
As some of you know, I have a sensitive BS detector. This gets in the way of being “motivated”. When confronted with a entertainer motivational speaker, I try to glean one or two worthwhile tidbits. I give D.J.H. credit, he did make one good comment. “You must sell yourself first, your company second, and your product third” There are some idea mongers who feel I owe them my trust. I beg to differ.
Mr. Harrington used to call his dog and pony show “C*** U* F*** T** N*** U*.That phrase is currently a registered trademark of the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario and may be used with permission only.
Redo Blue was a diverse company. I suspect D.J.H. toned down some of the good ole boy touches from his presentation. Towards the end, he described a speech he gave in Oklahoma. “The only Catholics they have ever seen are Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne” He proceeded to tell a tasteless story about the Catholic Church. I was almost motivated to walk out.
In an early morning discourse, I said that Martin Niemöller was rolling in his grave looking for the royalties from his poem, “First they came…“. A little research later, I don’t think he ever wrote it down. For those of you with very short memories, here is the work…
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
Martin Niemöller
Martin Niemöller was the son of a Lutheran minister. In World War 1, he served on a U boat crew. Harold Marcuse tells this story: “Niemöller was a commander of a German U-boat in World War I. A seminal incident in his moral outlook, as he related in many public speeches later in his life, occurred when he commanded his submarine crew not to rescue the sailors of a boat he torpedoed, but let them drown instead. “
After the war Mr. Niemöller became a Lutheran Minister. He was originally a supporter of Mr. Hitler, but became an opponent. He was imprisoned in Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945.
After the war, he began to speak out. The famous poem was derived from these speeches. It was never written down in typical poet fashion. There are several versions of it from him, and many more as the years rolled by. It has been quoted, updated, and quoted again.
In addition to the four groups mentioned above, the Nazis also came for mentally ill, incurably ill, or people in occupied countries. The legend is that when asked if he included Catholics, Mr. Niemöller said “I never said it. They can take care of themselves.” (If you have a few minutes to spare, the page that quote came from is worth looking at.) When the McCarthy fever hit America, he declined to mention Communists.
With regard to the royalties, I could not see that it was ever copyrighted. I do not know who “owns the rights”. Some have even speculated that the poem was not composed by Mr. Niemöller.
Recently, there was a blog post that quoted “First they came…” The post was about gay marriage. With all due respect to the people affected by this, the ability to marry someone of the same gender does not come close to a government killing six million Jews. .
There is the Rebel looking for a cause syndrome. Many people just want to fight about something, and the cause is secondary to the lust for battle. When a poem like this is used to fire up people for a shaky cause, it brings discredit to the poem..
There is the matter of the “Next Hitler” argument. During the run up to the first war against Iraq, Saddam Hussein was routinely called the next Hitler. While this may be a valid argument at times, it is like the boy who cried wolf if used too much. (This is also known as Godwin’s Law ).
Maybe a general moratorium is needed on the use of “First they Came…”
These Demons Have Staying Power
These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fc), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. ~ @bukquotes “these demons have staying power.” ~ Charles Bukowski (tw) ~ Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I’m hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life. (tln) ~ We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there’s a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. (tln) ~ ts official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times (tln) ~ Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that’s me yo, certify ya soon (tln) ~ “Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”–Napoleon Bonaparte” (fb) ~ The acquisition of knowledge allows room for growth. That’s only if and when you are willing too grow. (fb) ~ “Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he usually proves that he is one himself.” — H.L. Mencken (fc) ~ “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – MLK (fb) ~ With Due Respect, I apologize if the contents hereunder are contrary to your moral ethics. But please treat with absolute secrecy and confidentiality. I am Dr. Ouadrago Mathieu, currently retired director general & former auditor for banquet de l’ habitat ; Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, while reviewing the current items decease account relating to the decease bank customer , I discover sum of $ 9.2 million united state dollars only yet to our unsatisfactory organs and un able to indicated the true beneficiary owned to these funds. I need your kind jestures, willing fully to assist me in transferring these funds into your account. If you are interesting, i will focus your sight to inherit these funds. Contact me at: ouadragomathiu@yahoo.com Hoping your information. Dr. Ouadrago Mathieu.~ This video has been reported to be age-restricted. Dailymotion understands that some content may not be appropriate for all users. We provide a Family Filter so that you can choose the content best suited to your personal interest.Turning OFF the Family Filter may display content that is only suitable for viewers over 18 years of age. ~ Click the button below if you are over 18 and would like to turn OFF the Family Filter. ~ Благодарение на интереса и желанието на участниците миналата седмица, правим второ издание на групово дишане в София — на 12 юни 2012, от 19:30 ч. отново в Юнити. Заповядайте! :) (fb) ~ herndondavis@aol.com When you discussed the violence in our society, you forget the verbal violence of the Jesus Worship Church. Preachers verbally abuse their flock every sunday, and they say glory amen. Is it any wonder that many so called men of G-d have anger management issues? This goes for white preachers as well… the color of your skin is not a valid excuse. ~ CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message is for the designated recipient only and may contain privileged or confidential information. If you have received it in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete the original. Any other use of this email is prohibited. IRS Circular 230 Disclosure: Under U. S. Treasury regulations, I am required to inform you that any tax advice contained in this e-mail or any attachment hereto is not intended to be used, and cannot be used, to avoid penalties imposed under the Internal Revenue Code. ~ @KimKardashian Gonna challange myself today at the gym! (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Patriotic billionaires: instead of funding yet another superPAC, maybe build an emergency room? (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport The gender gap the GOP is dealing with may have to do with women’s irrational desire to control their own bodies. (tw) ~ Redirected from Jesus Christ · Public Figure · Corona, California Description above from the Wikipedia article Jesus, licensed under CC-BY-SA full list of contributors here. Community Pages are not affiliated with, or endorsed by, anyone associated with the topic. (fb) ~ If any of my friends, associates, or members of the global community feel that being connected to me on here will compromise their safety (as a minority and/or member of an oppressed group (or “groups”)) and incite oppression on them for certain content posted (LGBTQ/feminist/queer/radical community organizing/etc. media), I encourage you to close our connection on here for your safety and disregard any concerns about how it will be received by me, because it’s perfectly okay. We all live in different circumstances and your safety matters. We can certainly stay connected through other means as well. Love, peace, comfort, and solidarity. (fb) ~ Also, if you “unfriend” me for reasons of disagreeing with me or just don’t want to really connect with me, I respect your decision and your person. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport Prescriptions for ADHD have increased over the past six years. In other news, Twitter was founded six years ago. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport There are few things more gratifying in life than being attacked by someone who can’t spell. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Obama will find Romney harder to stop than bin Laden because at least with bin Laden he knew his exact position. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Dear people talking loudly into your cellphones: Please try to make your conversations more interesting to listen to. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport If we banned political ads, it would be interesting to see if billionaires who say they love America would spend their money on America. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport We took cigarette ads off TV because they were bad for our nation’s health. So why not do the same for political ads? (tw) ~ @historyweird 1899: The Imperial Palace makes public news of the Guangxu emperor’s impotence, his renal and urinary pains, and his eczema of the scrotum. (tw) ~ @historyweird 324BC: A sobbing Alexander the Great stays in bed with the corpse of his general & lover, Hephaistion, for two whole days and nights. (tw) ~ @historyweird c.70AD: To increase sexual appetite, Pliny suggests wearing the right testicle of an ass, tied to the wrist as a bracelet. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1326: London’s coroner finds that Richard le Rakiere died of drowning – after his latrine seat collapsed, dropping him into a full cesspit. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1140: William of Malmesbury claims that Henry I (who had several concubines & 24 bastard children) is “completely free of fleshly lusts”. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1936: Hitler is snapped hugging US Olympic runner Helen Stephens – and flies into a rage, beating up the photographer & smashing his camera. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1603: In Landes, 13yo Jean Grenier, confesses to being a werewolf, eating children and raping maidens. He is declared insane and locked up. (tw) ~ @historyweird c.79AD: Latin graffito from a walled lane at Pompeii: “Hic ego cum veni futui, deinde redei domi” (“I came here, had sex, then went home”). (tw) ~ @historyweird c.120: Pollux writes that at Athenian weddings, the best man guards the bedroom door – to stop the bride’s friends entering if she screams. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1788: British surgeon Worgan is very tempted by naked Australian women – but put off by the “excrementitious matter” coming from their noses (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport I am starting a petition to rename Michigan “Michvagina.” Please RT, this is important. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport It’s important to turn off our computers & do things in the real world, or we won’t have anything to tweet about. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport “I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion.” — Web comment that has never been made (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Only a billion more lies till the election. (tw) ~ You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever. (tln) ~ The ultimate Father’s Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. (tln) ~ I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I’m pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza (tln) ~ Don’t ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. (tln) ~ It summer and it’s getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (tln) ~ The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. (tln) ~ Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable… (tln) ~ Can I just say that you’re probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? (tln) ~ @BorowitzReport China will launch a manned space mission this summer, around the same time the US launches the 6th season of Jersey Shore (tw) ~ @borowitzreport: The NY Times print edition is a great way to test ur memory of what u read yesterday online. (tw) ~ @DailyCurmudgeon woman was arrested for making meth inside a Walmart, which has a strict policy against American-made products. (tw) ~ “@BorowitzReport: Saying you’ll unfollow someone on Twitter is a threat akin to turning down a free pizza flyer on the street.” (tw) ~ @chrisguillebeau Struggling to Fill #2 Post, Al-Qaeda Resorts to LinkedIn — http://aonc.co/LSaHvV (tw) ~ “Had Constantine chosen to embrace paganism when he moved to consolidate his power throughout the Roman sphere of influence, christianity would be nothing today.”—Unknown. (fb) ~ MEMBER QUOTE OF THE DAY: Post your own Atheist quote that is of “YOUR OWN INTELLECTUAL CREATION” in the comment section below. The member quote that gets the most likes by other members will have their quote posted tomorrow morning. RULES: 1. One quote per person. you can vote more than once. 2. No Plagiarized Material, plagiarized quotes will be deleted. 3. No Debating or personal opinions on this thread, quotes only 4. Use intelligence not profanity. 5. No campaigning for votes. (fb) ~ “Religion… It’s like a bunch of women fighting over who has the biggest penis.”–Ali Mangalji (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport: The American political system: where billions are spent to find candidates the voters hate. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: Starbucks bought a baked goods chain to improve their food. Now they have to buy a coffee chain and they’re good to go. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: The New York Times print edition is a great way to test your memory of what you read yesterday online. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: I wonder if when the Chinese bought America they knew that it included Arizona. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: Sunday Thought: Rapture would be awesome if it meant all the people who believe in it would suddenly be gone. (tw) ~ This Week’s Member Quote of The Day Competition Winner: “Religion is the root of all evil, money just funds it.”–Samuel Kerby (fb) ~ Matt K. Lewis made a comment about cultural changes in the sixties. This seemed a bit odd, since Mr. Lewis would seem to be 35 at the absolute oldest. The murder of John Kennedy took place in 1963, at least 12 years before Mr. Lewis was born. Neither wikipedia, facebook, nor a blog biography listed a date of birth. Perhaps Mr. Lewis is a space alien. ~ For the sake of the writers’ ideas, ‘less is more’ is a proverb to be applied to candy and glue, not to aphorisms. —Catherine Lentini (Aph) ~ To rebel one must wear the right uniform. —Devan Marques (Aph) ~ Be your own definition. —Amanda Haggerty (Aph) ~ Secure your own mask before helping others. —Jan-Erik Asplund (Aph) ~ There’s no point criticizing the rules of a game you can’t change; you’ve just got to learn them and play them as best as you can. —Corey Ecay (Aph) ~ You can only understand the power of language once you have lost it. —Lauren Glading (Aph) ~ I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today’s off to a good start. (tln) ~ Dude. Get me out of here. I’m surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it. (tln) ~ He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero (tln) ~ you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs (tln) ~ i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us (tln) ~ If 26 stitches didn’t sober her up, nothing will. (tln) ~ Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke….and then do it (tln) ~ at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool (tln) ~ Sometimes a dumb thing is a thing worth saying. —Alan Dupont (Aph) ~ College is a place where the people who need it least are told things that the world needs to know. —Dylan Scott (Aph) ~ Visit a city to observe the behavior of animals. —Anna Eckert-Kramer (Aph) ~ First impressions are the last chance to impress. —Lila Cutter (Aph) ~and of course the ‘entire community is made up of charlatans, wishful thinkers, randroids, internet utopians, and outright hucksters wallowing in an orgy of scams and piss poor resource management desperately trying to convince more people to buy in and secure their positions in The New Zillionaires’ thing (fb) ~ Conservative, Liberal, and Libertarian are aligned with the bowel movement. chamblee54 ~ Well, the contest is over and I did not win dinner for two with President Obama, hosted by Sarah Jessica Parker at her home in New York. To be honest, I’m more disappointed about not meeting Sarah Jessica Parker than about not meeting President Obama. I was going to give the president the books “Occupy” by Noam Chomsky and “The Big Book of Christian Mysticism” by Carl McColman, then send him on his way so I could stay up all night drinking Cosmos with Sarah Jessica. I was going to wear my lavender dress shirt with my Scottish tartan necktie. It was going to be fabulous. (fb) ~ I maintain that the translations of Jesus saying love thy neighbor were incorrect. What he really said was to be kind to your neighbor. One is a thought, the other is an action. What you do is more important that what you think…. Unable to post comment. Try Again … maybe facebook doesn’t agree with me (fb) ~ @michaelbd Why won’t the Vatican recognize the life experiences of sincere Christians who happen to find great good in orgies? tw ~ Selah
Labelism
Chamblee54 had a post recently about conservatives and liberals. A lot of people see things in those terms. There are other pigeon holes that people get stuffed into. Not only politics, but religion, fashion, and sexual activity are classified, usually by someone who disapproves. Maybe the true religion of our culture is Labelism.
A trip to google city had lots of results. The top result (possibly paid for) is a company called Labelism. You can create personalized labels, usually for an alcohol product. “Welcome to Labelism. The personalised Wine, Whisky, Champagne and Beer gift service where you become the designer & create your own label.”
The always helpful Urban Dictionary calls labelism “The act of judging people by the labels of their clothes. Here are a few examples of labelism: 1(in Abercrombie): I’m so classy. 2 (in Hollister): Me, too. 3 (in American Eagle): Don’t forget me. 1: We all rock! 4 (in Aeropostale): Hey, I’m classy, too! 1: You wish, you wannabe! 2: Yeah, Loser! 5 (in Wal-Mart clothes): I’m pretty classy myself. 1: Eww Get away! You’re poor! 2,3, and 4: Gross! White Trash! Nasty! 5: Whatever, you label whores!”
Ablogspot facility called Quadrilateral Thoughts gets a bit closer to the original concept of this post. “labelism: The tendency to skew diverse particular ideas, events, people, and so forth by grouping them under overly generalized labels in the service of argument.” A few examples are given. “All these statements are logically fallacious, even though they are the stuff of common rhetoric. They take diverse realia and oversimplify them because the human mind has difficulty processing complexity.”
A playground called Young Americans for Liberty comes out as an Anti-Labelist. “If we refuse to be objective in this way, but rather use smear terms and labels, then it is no surprise that more anti-labelites are produced. We become part of the problem rather than part of the solution.”
Labelism dot org is another take. “Labelism- There Must Be For There To Be/Create Create/ Leaving Assupmtion To The Act/Support Support/ Do Good To Be Good/ Look Passed Word Act-RE-Reality=Option/True”
In 2008, MacKenzie Kern was bothered by people labelling each other. “For Stroudsburg Middle School seventh-grader MacKenzie Kern and others her age, words, particularly labels, can harm the emotionally vulnerable. Someone wearing black clothes and dressing in dark makeup is a “goth.” Someone wearing brand name clothes such as American Eagle or Aeropostale is a “prep.” Someone wearing bright, flamboyant colors is a “scene.” And then there are the “skaters,” who ride skateboards, the “jocks,” or athletes, the “nerds” and the “emos,” or emotionally troubled.”
“You’re stereotyping people just because they dress, act or look a certain way or listen to certain kinds of music,” says Kern, who has been called a “hippie” for wearing a T-shirt with a peace symbol. “People have labeled me and I’ve labeled others, which is something I’m not proud of.”
That’s why Kern has taken a stand against “labelism” and is trying to convince others her age to do the same. Every day since March 27, she has worn a white belt around her waist in school and out in public. From one end of that belt to the other are signatures, almost all of which have been put there by children ages 12 to 16 who support her stance. “I feel it’s important to focus mainly on kids in my age group,” she says. “If this generation of kids can set an example by stopping labelism, then maybe future generations can do the same. So far, I have only one signature from an adult, a teacher who told me she believes in what I’m doing and said she’s glad I’m doing it.”
At one point, Kern had 105 signatures on her belt. But for each person who agrees with ending labelism, there’s one or more who say Kern is wasting her time. “I’ve had both students and teachers tell me I’ll never really change anything because most people will go on labeling,” she says. “I’ve even had students who signed my belt tell me they want their signatures removed because they changed their minds. So, I scrubbed off five signatures, which took me back down to 100.” But that won’t stop Kern from trying to raise awareness among others her age.
This post was a good idea that turned out to be boring. The spell check suggestion for labelism is Isabella. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Hashtag Bash
There is a twitter fight going on. On one side is #LiberalismIn4Words, with the predictable alternative #ConservatismIn4Words. Momma’s basement is buzzing with activity.
PG has always maintained that Liberal and Conservative are meaningless words, designed to start pointless arguments. @MacGhil The Ruling Class’ divide & conquer strategy: We attack each other, & they amass power & wealth. #ConservatismIn4words #LiberalismIn4Words.
There seem to be a lot of notions about the “other side”, which may or may not be true. The possibility exists that the tweets say more about the sender than they do their opponent. @loghaD #LiberalismIn4Words Yet another meaningless label. #ConservatismIn4Words Yeah, that one too.
@SooperMexican ***Analytical Evidence Conservatives won hashtag battles #Liberalismin4words and #conservatismin4words: Stupid Liberals Call For Political Hashtag War, Conservatives Destroy Them. Mr. Mexican throws a bunch of statistics out, and makes the claim that conservatives won this battle. There is a difference between prove and indicate.
In preparing this report, PG copied lists of “top tweets” for both hashtags. He sorted the tweets into four groups. This is just one person’s view. The only thing that it proves is that PG has too much free time. We already knew that.
The first category is abortion. Evidently, conservatives think liberals get off on murdering babies. Liberals are snickering about how politicians are taking advantage of well meaning conservatives. The truth is that abortion is a free lunch issue. You denounce it to your hearts content, and no one pays atttention to your ethical shortcomings.
@SueLantto: every person has value #truth #LiberalismIn4Words
@JackTomczak Except a baby girl @kentkaiser Or a Down’s baby.
@ballergirl34 #LiberalismIn4Words We care about children.
#ConservatismIn4Words Only before they’re born.
@CnservativePunk Kill babies. Free criminals. #Liberalismin4words
@Paul_Conrad Pro-life until it’s born #conservatismin4words
@RaisingOneBrow #ConservatismIn4Words Your body, our business.
The second category is things that make you say huh. A.K.A. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
Some arguments bend logic into funny shapes. Both sides play this game.
@L_Wheels #ConservatismIn4Words Attack America? You die.
#LiberalismIn4Words Attack America? My apologies.
@keder Conservative women: way hotter. #ConservatismIn4Words
@MrKips #ConservatismIn4Words Let’s Twitterflog The Liberals
@keilemon Please vote “caste system.” #ConservatismIn4Words
@TechBrigade #ConservatismIn4Words – Man walked with dinosaurs
@JustenCharters Taxes Mean Free Stuff. #LiberalismIn4Words
@theGrudgeRetort Greece got it right. #LiberalismIn4Words
@theGrudgeRetort Math is hard, ya’ll. #LiberalismIn4Words
@LittleSlav #LiberalismIn4Words I don’t need 4. One word is sufficient: unamerican
@VAKruta Tolerance, except for Christians. #LiberalismIn4Words
@ExJon #LiberalismIn4Words Racisty, Racist Racist! RAAAAAAAAAAACIST!
@jorticulture #LiberalismIn4Words concede positions then bargain, ahahaha yep america
The third category is things that apply to both liberals and conservatives. In these tweets, replace the hastag with a blank space. It is tough to tell who is talking about who. This considers the actions of these partisans, and not just the rheroric.
@joachim #LiberalismIn4Words Your Reckless Spending Addiction
@NonLiberalVTer I deserve your money. #LiberalismIn4Words
@brendlewhat #LiberalismIn4Words meanwhile, your skeleton waits
@spaceship_earth #LiberalismIn4Words important to win argument
@RepubGirlProbz #LiberalismIn4Words They don’t use logic
@EricBandazewski #LiberalismIn4Words It Works In Theory
#ConservatismIn4Words It Works In Reality
@RepubGirlProbz #LiberalismIn4Words Biggest idiots in America
@DLoesch You all are racists. #LiberalismIn4Words
@SenMikeLee Constitutional? Are you serious? #liberalismin4words
@IMAO_ Make every city Detroit. #LiberalismIn4Words
@derekahunter Facts do not matter #LiberalismIn4Words
@Tomm_Dogg #LiberalismIn4Words Tweet whatever you want.
@KristinaRibali The world owes me #Liberalismin4Words
@KristinaRibali I am a victim #liberalismin4words
@bob_owens Die once. Vote forever. #LiberalismIn4Words
@SooperMexican Let’s Outlaw All Consequences! #LiberalismIn4Words
@lheal Tax, Borrow, Print, Spend. #LiberalismIn4Words
@JustenCharters Life Is Not Fair. #LiberalismIn4Words
@JustenCharters Lacks perspective. Shuns reality. #LiberalismIn4Words
@thatalexyarde Crappy days here again #ConservatismIn4Words
@patticar #ConservatismIn4Words Harvest Everything Forget Tomorrow
@word_34 #ConservatismIn4Words Never Actually Read Constitution
@ballergirl34 #LiberalismIn4Words Where in the Constitution?
#ConservatismIn4Words I’m sorry, the what?
@JenGranholm #ConservatismIn4Words: Let Detroit Go Bankrupt
#ConservatismIn4Words Americans have short memories
@La_Shawn It’s not my fault! #LiberalismIn4Words
@Im_bonafide #LiberalismIn4Words .. Let Me Be Clear…
@Ennui_Raver #liberalismin4words Yard work oh boy
@ThatGuySpike #LiberalismIn4Words: Full understanding of issues.
#ConservatismIn4Words: Off on a tangent.
@KRBCanada1 #conservatismin4words Demonize Instead Of Analyze
@malclave Living in THIS reality. #ConservatismIn4Words
Last are the winners in this contest. All of these tweeters get a free subscription to chamblee54.
@DavidAllenGreen Libertarianism for grown ups. #LiberalismIn4Words
@MlTTR0MNEY #LiberalismIn4Words Romney Ten Years Ago
@pari_passu RT @DrMaldoror: #ConservatismIn4Words Riding God’s Short Bus
@StevenDumas #ConservatismIn4Words No more Barack Kardashian.
@MlTTR0MNEY Help a Millionaire Out #ConservatismIn4Words
@ColdCauphee #ConservatismIn4Words Falsify War Get Rich
@Fireflysghost Organize Hegemony for Jesus #ConservatismIn4Words
@elbrigaciagar #Conservatismin4words Jesus loves Ayn Rand.
@word_34 #ConservatismIn4Words Never Actually Read Constitution
@elbrigaciagar Never read Bible either.
@purplehullpea #ConservatismIn4Words Wishes Mitt was likable
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
The Eleven Rules
You have probably heard about “The speech Bill Gates gave at a High School”. PG saw an image on facebook, and the BS detector went off. When did he make the speech? What high school, in what location? Was this the same speech we heard about a few years ago, when Microsoft was being sued for antitrust violations? Are these questions fair? Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!
These days, the answer is easy to find. Snopes is a friend of Mr. Google. The authoritative word is “misappropriated”. Bill Gates did not make a speech to a high school. Nor did Kurt Vonnegut. The eleven rules came from a newspaper column written by Charles J. Sykes. The column was published in the San Diego Union Tribune on September 19, 1996. The fourteen rules in that column were taken from a book Mr, Sykes wrote, 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education.
“Charles J. Sykes is senior fellow at the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute and a talk show host at WTMJ radio in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.” “The Institute is guided by a belief that competitive free markets, limited government, private initiative, and personal responsibility are essential to our democratic way of life.” Mr. Sykes is probably not a liberal.
The eleven rules have been floating from one email address to another since the Clinton administration. Ann Landers has printed them several times. They have been the rest of the story for Paul Harvey. “The prize for misattribution, however, has to go to the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, which published the list twice in the space of three weeks in mid-2000, the first time crediting it to “Duluth state Rep. Brooks Coleman of Duluth,” and the second time to Bill Gates.” The footnotes say “Brack, Elliott. “Legislator Offers Teens No-Nonsense Advice.” The Atlanta Journal and Constitution. 14 June 2000 (p. J3).” and ” “Advice from the Experts.” The Atlanta Journal and Constitution. 2 July 2000 (p. R1).”
The book has fifty rules. The column has fourteen. These are the three rules left out of the emails.
Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you’re out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That’s what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for “expressing yourself” with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You’re welcome.
Maybe someone should take a critical look at these rules. If you get tired, and think this is negative, then you are free to skip ahead and look at the pictures, from The Library of Congress. The LOC is part of the big government in Washington. It is an very valuable resource. 
Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.
No argument here. This is a catch 22 whenever you find a contradiction in the rest of the rules.
Rule No. 2: The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
If you start to feel good about yourself, don’t worry. Between the church, radio talk shows, and back stabbing co workers, someone is sure to bring you down.
Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won’t make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.
Conservative rules for living do not age well. Today, everybody eating solid food has a cell phone.
Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait ’til you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.
This is the rule that set off the BS detector. In the “real world”, it is not what you produce that counts. It is how well you kiss ass. If the boss is impressed by you, you can screw up from now until bankruptcy. Ditto if you are a minority, and the company is recovering from a lawsuit. LINF
Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Your grandparents had a different word for your dark skinned co worker. Not all political correctness is bad.
Rule No. 6: It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it’s on your dime. Don’t whine about it, or you’ll sound like a baby boomer.
Fifty years ago, the parents of baby boomers said things like this. The younger generation is always going to hell, and somehow they manage to get it together. The baby boomers are the generation who was ordered to go to Vietnam and kill Asians. They said “hell no we won’t go”.
Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Your parents got to be boring by listening to motivational speeches.
Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone’s feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)
Teachers have a tough job. They are an easy target for criticism. Some of this whining is fair, even if life isn’t. Mr. Sykes has written several books lambasting the education system. There is a saying, those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Maybe this could be amended to say: those who can’t teach, whine about education.
Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we’re at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
If you are the buddy of management, you sometimes take the afternoon off to play golf with a client. You go to conventions, while someone else works to produce. LINF
Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
Life is not a motivational speech. Those after dinner platitudes are entertaining, and make you feel good about yourself. They have little to do with real life.
Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
One more time, LINF. Regarding Rule No. 14:, this sounds like privilege speaking. If parents are human, they are possibly doing some very dirty things to their kids. This includes abusive religion, alcoholism, drug abuse, and conservative politics. The other kids can be pretty rough. Your preacher says you are going to hell. Since the real world does not care about your self esteem, you may be tempted to end your life. A smarmy list of rules is probably not going to help.
When writing a blog post, go ahead and publish before you read the one star reviews. There is a reply, from a teacher, about the list of eleven. The title is A teacher’s response to a mean man. This post is more thoughtful than the collection of one liners above. The post you are reading is already too long. Follow the link to read something better.
There is one review that needs to be shared. (This is from the amazon page for the book, 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education.)
And I thought liberals were condescending?!, Watujel (San Antonio, Texas) October 12, 2007
The reason you don’t get this stuff in school is because any savvy teacher knows that trying to motivate 30 restless kids with Sykes’ hoary platitudes and nagging tone will inevitably have the opposite effect. Everything’s here in cliched condescension except for maybe “back in MY DAY”
Rule number one of imparting advice to anyone of any age – gain their trust first. If you blunder in, wagging your finger as Sykes does, you’ll just get a backlash. It’s actually worse than keeping your trap shut.
Sykes should try his material on a classroom of average eighth-graders and see if he can get them to do anything close to what he intends.
Sykes expresses resentment toward teachers for getting tenure and suggests that this is not part of the “real world.” I envy teachers’ schedules (but not their jobs) as well, but just because you resent these perks doesn’t mean you can simply write them out of the “real world” unless you’re in serious denial. Without tenure, how many people would choose to become teachers what with so many other options available? That’s the real world.
It’s ironic that he claims to want to instill respect for authority but encourages his young readers to devalue what they’re learning from those who are acting in loco parentis. Teachers don’t create the curriculum. Changes in curricula are driven by administrators and education colleges. Blaming teachers for teaching too much self-esteem doesn’t make any more sense than blaming cops for giving illegal immigrants a pass. In both cases, the priorities are set elsewhere.
In one rule, he complains that kids are too materialistic. Then in another one, he complains about their idealism. Frankly, the Millennial Generation works hard, serves its country, and in general is the most bright-eyed and bushy-tailed I’ve seen in quite a while. They’ve really done their best to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of a generation of broken homes left by Sykes’ fellow Baby Boomers. But not many of them are going to respond to something this unfocused and mediocre.
Bad Writing
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. Unknown
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. Joseph Romm, Washington
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Roy Ashley, Washington
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. ~ The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. Russell Beland, Springfield
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. Unknown
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like”Second Tall Man.” Russell Beland, Springfield
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. Jennifer Hart, Arlington
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Russell Beland, Springfield
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
These examples of bad writing are from a blog that is no longer published. (“This blog has been archived or suspended for a violation of our Terms of Service.”)
The pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod!
What’s stucco? What happens when you step in bubblegummo.
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
What’s the Internet’s favorite animal? The lynx.
What is the Karate experts favorite beverage? Kara-tea.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
Where do Floridians wash their clothes? In Fort Launderdale.
What’s a frog’s favorite drink? Croaka Cola.
What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.
What does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs.
Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? Get bent!
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard…
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock.
Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread…
Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son…
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man, ‘What have you got there?’
Said the pie man unto Simon, ‘Pies, you dumb ass’…
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings’ horses, And all the kings’ men.
Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again…
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play, He kissed them too ’cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad……..
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
The jokes on this site are believed to be in the public domain. All other textual and graphical material at this site is Copyright © 1999-2008 by Samuel Stoddard. Neither I nor RinkWorks are liable if you keel over and die from reading these jokes. The updated nursery rhymes are from a chain email. The source is not known, and is probably hiding in shame. The pictures are from The Library of Congress. The video is from WTF Japan Seriously.
Somebody’s Sins But Not Mine
These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fc), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. ~ “A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence.” — Brander Matthews ~ The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. ~ “And lo, did Phillip make bacon for breakfast! And he smelt the bacon, and he spake unto the kitchen, This bacon needs tofu. And so he added tofu, and it was really really good.” ~ I misspoke when I said, “Have a great day!”– what I really meant to say was, “I’m so glad you’re leaving!” (fb) ~ “Don’t get discouraged because there’s a lot of mechanical work to writing. … I rewrote the first part of A Farewell to Arms at least fifty times. … The first draft of anything is shit. When you first start to write you get all the kick and the reader gets none, but after you learn to work it’s your object to convey everything to the reader so that he remembers it not as a story he has read but something that has happened to himself. That’s the true test of writing.” — Ernest Hemingway (fc) ~ A footnote in Byron’s Don Juan mentions a rhyming contest between John Sylvester and Ben Jonson: “I, John Sylvester, lay with your sister.” “I, Ben Jonson, lay with your wife.” “That is not rhyme.” “No, but it is true.” (fc) ~ “Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but rather memory.” — Leonardo (fc) ~ “Winerip says that what worries him is that if automated readers become the standard way of grading essays, then teachers will begin teaching to them, removing a lot of the “juice” of the English language. “If you’re not allowed to use a sentence fragment … [or] a short paragraph … then you’re going to get a very homogenized form of writing,” he says. “The joy of writing is surprise.” ~ Is there anything more beautiful and filled with simple joy than watching onions slowly caramelize in a pan? Don’t say childbirth. I’ve seen childbirth, and it’s nasty. (fb) ~ “It must be obvious… that there is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity.” ~ Alan Watts(fb) ~ I wonder how much water and energy would be saved if we all gave up our various caffeine addictions. Let’s try it. You start. (fb) ~ Apparently, all members of Morons Anonymous are required to drive on Fridays. I encountered quite a few members in good standing while I was out running errands today. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport No one used to read crazy people’s diary entries, but Twitter fixed that problem. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport On the eve of Facebook’s IPO, Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg published the following letter to potential investors: Dear Potential Investor: For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too ~ @BorowitzReport Romney’s business experience makes him uniquely qualified to be President. Of Greece. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport If Cory Booker keeps changing his position he will be qualified to run the Romney campaign. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Instead of turning them into a game, we should be trying to find the root causes of why the birds are angry. (tw) ~ Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts. ~ It’s so sad when cute girls are Christians (fb) ~ Eddie This comment was flagged for review. – Don_Bacon Eddie, you should be blown away.~ Should have fought for your right to have more frequent cancer screenings (fb) ~ This e-mail message (including any attachments) is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this message (including any attachments) is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please contact the sender by reply e-mail message and destroy all copies of the original message (including attachments).~ a kitchen timer only works if you use it. ~ Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Author Unknown ~ @tejucole While performing in Williamsburg, Edward Morris, 50, comedian with the Reeves burlesque company, became mentally unbalanced. (tw) ~ @tejucole On purpose or not, Mrs Heickemrath, 38, of 201 West 105th Street ingested something fatal. (tw) ~ @tejucoleThe books of Harry Elkins Widener, 27, a zealous bibliophile who sank with the Titanic, were donated to Harvard University. (tw) ~ @tejucole “I am happy with my gender, but pure masculinity, which I have been exposed to a lot in life, is tedious and inadequate.”—James Salter (tw) ~ @tejucoleCaptain George Kimmitte, whom Fate had deprived of eyesight, nevertheless found his way to the East River, and jumped. (tw) ~ @alaindebottonIt’s now impossible to write a sentence that won’t offend someone. (tw) ~ @alaindebottonAcquiring enemies doesn’t have to mean one’s life has gone wrong: it may just be a sign one has found things to believe in. (tw) ~ Remember that you are our guests. We will, at our discretion, delete comments that we find off-topic, derailing, un-civil, slanderous, trollish or troll-feeding, petulant, pestiferous, and/or otherwise obnoxious and non-constructive. If we warn you, stop it. After no more than three warnings, you will find yourself banned, and all your future comments will be immediately deleted~ PREMISE: DO NOT comment at all if you think the “right way” to handle Christian disagreement is to make an appointment and chat over coffee first. The vortex of irony you will create by commenting will sap the hair-care products off your stylish bed-head, and we do not want to be responsible for that. ~ “One great idea of the biblical revelation is that God is manifest in the ordinary, in the actual, in the daily, in the now, in the concrete incarnations of life, and not through purity codes and moral achievement contests, which are seldom achieved anyway… We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking… The most courageous thing we will ever do is to bear humbly the mystery of our own reality.” ~ Richard Rohr (fb) ~ “Wandering in a vast forest at night, I have only a faint light to guide me. A stranger appears and says to me: ‘My friend, you should blow out your candle in order to find your way more clearly.’ This stranger is a theologian.” — Diderot (fc) ~ The world is so strange sometimes. I know almost instantly when a celebrity dies, but don’t realize for 3 weeks that an actual acquaintance of mine has passed. I never got to meet him in person (another strange side effect of social networking) but I got to interact with and watch his compassion and activism, and he was regularly changing the world for the better. Farewell, Alex. (fb) ~ What happens when your soul Begins to awaken Your eyes And your heart And the cells of your body To the great Journey of Love? First there is wonderful laughter And probably precious tears And a hundred sweet promises And those heroic vows No one can ever keep. But still God is delighted and amused You once tried to be a saint. What happens when your soul Begins to awake in this world To our deep need to love And serve the Friend? O the Beloved Will send you One of His wonderful, wild companions (fb) ~ We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others. The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door. ~ @tejucole God is love. In Ogdensburg, Miss Donlan, a Catholic with strict parents, was shot by her Protestant lover Hodgins, who drowned himself. (tw) ~ I am tired of being the center of controversy. chamblee54 ~ Now to all those who had so much to say on my post that mentioned religion, since you had so much to say then please have that same spirit when I talk about black on black crime, the economy, education, brothers in jail, single parents or any of the various topics that I discuss on my page.My point of view will always stay honest and I don’t care who doesn’t like it. As a poet I expres myself and I will continue to do so. I don’t agree with everyone and everyone will not agree with me and I accept that. I’m almost positive they don’t pay attention to all those posts that anyone who is my friend can tell you that I regularly make, they just wanted to speak when they felt attacked. Let me say this if you are saved and secure as you claim to be with God then the opinion of Rico Revels should mean nothing to you but obviously truth does still strike a nerve. (fb) ~ So, I see why suburban moms slowly kill themselves with wine and sleeping medications. If the important subjects of conversation in my life were how to get my home owner’s insurance to pay for medical bills for my kid’s poison ivy, pre-school curriculum, and fabric softener… I would want to kill myself too. (fb) ~ The bible is NOT the constitution!!! It’s funny how people try to run other people’s lives by that book. Most of the people who use it in attempt to persecute others tend to be some of the biggest rule breakers. Of course a lot of Christians think all SIN is wrong except for the SIN that they personally commit. This country will be much better when people realize that G-d is not a forced standard but an option and no one should be made to live by the rules of his book. Our laws should be based off the good of the common man and that’s any man not just a Christian one. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport The fact that the brutal Syrian regime is still in power means that not enough of us have changed our profile pictures. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Thanks to Facebook, it’s easier than ever to share things no one cares about with people you barely know. (tw) ~ Here is how people become gay ~ @DONGLORD69 To clarify, he was asking if I get up at night to do a poop. Which I do not. You needed to know this. (tw) ~ @MaraWritesStuff AND THAT’S NOT EVEN A FUNNY JOKE MY MOUTH JUST KEPT DOING THAT BECAUSE I WAS NERVOUS AND CAFFEINATED. (tw) ~ In 1879 Thérèse Humbert was traveling by railway through France when she met an ailing American millionaire named Robert Crawford. She sought medical care for him, and he showed his gratitude with a handsome bequest, which she kept in a sealed safe. Or so she said. Humbert and her husband lived luxuriously in Paris for two decades, borrowing money against Crawford’s unseen gift. When suspicious creditors finally sued her, they discovered that Crawford didn’t exist and the safe contained a handful of worthless papers. She was sentenced to five years in prison. (fc) ~ In 1897 Ohio con artist Cassie Chadwick “confessed” to a Cleveland lawyer that she was the illegitimate daughter of Andrew Carnegie and stood to inherit $10 million on his death. She parlayed his sympathy into a series of bank loans and lived lavishly until 1904, when she was unable to repay a Massachusetts banker. Carnegie, who denied her story, attended the trial and saw her sentenced to 10 years in prison. She died two years later in the Ohio State Penitentiary. (fc) ~ “Dancing is a sweat job. … When you’re experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, that you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion. This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn’t want to be tracked. It takes time to get a dance right, to create something memorable. There must be a certain amount of polish to it. I don’t want it to look anything but accomplished, and if I can’t make it look that way, then I’m not ready yet. I always try to get to know my routine so well that I don’t have to think, ‘What comes next?’ Everything should fall right into line, and then I know I’ve got control of the bloody floor.” — Fred Astaire (fc) ~ Even going forward, wearing flat shoes ~ “How to hit home runs: I swing as hard as I can, and I try to swing right through the ball. In boxing, your fist usually stops when you hit a man, but it’s possible to hit so hard that your fist doesn’t stop. I try to follow through in the same way. The harder you grip the bat, the more you can swing it through the ball, and the farther the ball will go. I swing big, with everything I’ve got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.” — Babe Ruth (fc) ~ I have been deleted at least six times by this person….why the friend request? AGAIN? I will always be queer and I will almost always be inappropriate and I think that’s why you deleted me the first six times….. but I’m thinking about it! (fb) ~ Some movies cut into trailers better than others, but by and large you can tell from those two minutes of sample images and dialogue whether or not you want to see it, which is what a trailer is for, of course. And that has to be the most ‘duh’ sentence I’ve ever written in this blog. ~ “It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake” – Frederick Douglas (fb) ~ “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine” – Patti Smith (fb) ~ “Poison is in everything, and no thing is without poison. The dosage makes it either a poison or a remedy” – Paracelsus (one of history’s greatest alchemists) (fb) ~ Selah
Dribble, Morsel, People
Before the haggle of hypocritic haha hit the whoha, PG checked in on TwentyTwoWords. The subject today is “10 normal words that sound funny when you think about them too long.” This is more fun.
The original ten words are buffalo, clump, dribble, morsel, people, rattle, shampoo, smock, wasps, wool. The comments add blog, canker, Cool Whip, duty, gesundheit, forehead, goiter, machete, problem, scissors, soap, trouser and umbrella. In the case of wasps and goiter, the word may be funny, but the reality is not. Got a problem?
One commenter who pays attention added : “Last week for this very reason I had to run spell check on the word “been” because it appeared too absurd to be possible. FWIW, Ed Clowney, former president of Westminster Seminary, maintained that this effect was at the root of much Eastern mysticism. Persevere Perserverate on any word and the discursive part of our brain would be thrown into neutral and what he called the intuitive would take over, leading some to believe they had become one with the universe.”
As obituary readers know, many dead people have funny sounding names. It is considered rude to laugh. This is a repost.
The Student And The Professor
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in G-d ? Student : Absolutely, sir. Professor : Is G-d good ? Student : Sure. Professor: Is G-d all powerful ? Student : Yes. Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to G-d to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But G-d didn’t. How is this G-d good then? Hmm? (Student was silent.) Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is G-d good? Student : Yes. Professor: Is satan good ? Student : No. Professor: Where does satan come from ? Student : From … G-d … Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student : Yes. Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And G-d did make everything. Correct? Student : Yes. Professor: So who created evil ? (Student did not answer.) Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, who created them ? (Student had no answer.) Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen G-d? Student : No, sir. Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your G-d? Student : No , sir. Professor: Have you ever felt your G-d, tasted your G-d, smelt your G-d? Have you ever had any sensory perception of G-d for that matter? Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t. Professor: Yet you still believe in Him? Student : Yes. Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your G-d doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? Student : Nothing. I only have my faith. Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has. Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Professor: Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as cold? Professor: Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn’t. (The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.) Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.) Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness? Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you? Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ? Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how? Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good G-d and a bad G-d. You are viewing the concept of G-d as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.) Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class was in uproar.) Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain? (The class broke out into laughter.) Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.) Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son. Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & G-d is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving. P.S. I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you? Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH. By the way, that student was EINSTEIN. // This incident was posted on Facebook. If the student was Albert Einstein, then this discussion took place in German. The comments below were posted about this story. // I hope the class got a refund on their tuition for that day. // This is mindless propaganda, pure and simple. First of all, there’s no way that Einstein was the student in question. Secondly, not only has evolution been observed in the past, but it’s actually still happening right now. Third, the professor seems to switch from being a philosopher to a science midway. This is a clear signal that this is a compilation of two different stories. Fourth, most of the student’s arguments are just plane stupid. Cold does exist. Science defines cold as the absence of movement. To say that absence doesn’t exist is silly and makes it sound like you think that everything is constantly moving or that the “student” doesn’t understand the difference between the word “cold” and the physical process that we call cold, that slows down the movement of things. I could keep going but almost every sentence of this thing is just dead wrong. // That doesn’t sound like Einstein at all, lol. // Lol @ evolution hasn’t been observed. Try some penicillin next time you get a staph infection. // “It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.” wtf rofl . this is such a dumb copy pasta. also I don’t even like to let theists get into philosophical arguments about deities. I don’t have philosophical arguments about leprechauns or unicorns. The only arguments for actual proof of a deity just come from arguments of ignorance “i don’t know how something works, therefore G-d did it.” // Hmmm… I feel like the “heat/cold” argument is subjective in a way, hence the presentation by this “student”. I presume that the basis of the “evolution” argument was solely focused on events such as macro species (e.g. fish to frog, frog to lizard, etc.). I have seen some quotes accredited to Einstein which deal with G-d and support Einstein’s belief in some form of “G-d”. Whether this quote or these words (possibly paraphrased) are of Einstein is another matter (some citation might be nice). I’ve heard the argument “gravity is a theory” and I do feel that there is some degree of “faith” that we place into our scientific observations and conclusions on the world we perceive around us. I do see the idea of believing in a supreme being or even an interdimensional, omnipotent/-vox/-present/-scient being as believing in a theoretical conclusion, just the way I see holding to the conclusion of gravity as a theoretical conclusion. Does that justify some of the backwards ish that goes on in the name of religion (or “G-d”)? HECK NO. I do see the existence of a “G-d” and the idea of that G-d kickstarting a big bang or some other process as a possibility. As an observer and enthusiast of science, I encourage you to challenge or argue against that perspective if you feel inclined to do so. // having faith in gravity is different from having faith in a magical being. you have faith in gravity based on measurable evidence. having faith in a deity that “created” the big bang (whatever that means) is based solely on ignorance (not trying to be offensive but that’s the best word). We are all ignorant of a lot of things, but just because humanity can’t explain every single mystery in the observable universe doesn’t give any validation to the G-d argument. // the agnostic approach of “well i can’t prove it DOESNT exist” is a waste of time. there are an infinite amount of things that you can’t PROVE don’t exist, but the severe lack of evidence (none whatsoever) leads you to believe that they are false. // Christians who claim that macroevolution has never been observed are either completely ignorant or are intentionally trying to mislead others. No scientist has ever said that fish give birth to frogs or that a monkey ever gave birth to a human. Period. End of story. Macroevolution and microevolution are the exact same cthing and are composed of the exact same processes. Microevolution and speciation have both been observed in the modern era, thus evolution has been observed. That’s it. It’s over. As for the idea that “gravity is a theory”, this is just more ignorance of science. I challenge anyone that really believes that “gravity is a theory” to jump off the Empire State Building. If it’s just a “theory” it could be wrong…right? // I understand that there is measurable evidence for gravity; what I am saying is that it is possible that another explanation may be more valid for why that reaction occurs. Also, I am hecking out the dialogue on Gabrielle’s post. If this is indeed a misquote, then I find that to be a shame. :) Okay, let’s look at the Epicurus quote. I’ll cut to the chase; the last line is the one I agree with most, because it allows room for the existence of some “G-dlike” being or force, even if they (the being or force) lack the *agency* or means to expel all evil, which, at the very least, is a *possibility*. It does lack measurable evidence, yes. I hold that is is a possibility, which I feel deserves some consideration (science fantasy, ho!). // I’m taking this conversation in a different direction. Everyone is encouraged to address the previous subject or this one as they choose. I kind of have this idea of “G-d” as having a greater knowledge/power/ability than that of a human, only being held back by certain stipulations and “principles” (those self-defined and those imposed by other parties). As far as possibilities go, might this be an explanation to the questions presented by Epicurus? Maybe “G-d” as a title was convenient for some purposes (i.e., leading a (created) race of beings). Maybe a third party placed the title upon them. Maybe it was self-imposed even with the knowledge that it was, from another perspective(s), untrue. // Another explanation is always possible for everything. Why even bring that up. I mean, you think G-d created the universe but how do you know it wasn’t aliens? I mean, I’m not sayin’ it’s aliens,but…it’s aliens! I just want you to imagine having that conversation with someone. You’re talking about evidence and facts and their reply is, “yeah, but…aliens”. And as for the Epicurus thing, you’ve walked right into it, mayne. If G-d has limitations, then G-d isn’t all-powerful. And if G-d isn’t all-powerful and has claimed to be all-powerful (as the G-d in the Bible so obviously has) that means that G-d is a liar on top of not being omnipotent. So how exactly does that solve the Problem of Evil? And you begin this new conversation by saying that you don’t have any proof but you still think it’s a possibility? I mean, I’m not gonna say that aliens made you say that., but…it’s aliens. // Heehee. Hmmm. I sense there’s some sensitivity about this issue and I can understand the source of it in certain respects. I do like the idea of possibility, because I’m a science fantasy enthusiast. At the same time, I like the evidence basis of science, therefore, I welcome being challenged on my perspectives. I welcome you all to give me your feedback in the days to come on my ideas. ^^// This is propoganda, pure and simple. Notice the confrontational authority figure who attacks his student’s beliefs but is usurped by him. Also notice the completely fake attribution of the story to Einstein. And blatantly incorrect assertions like evolution being unobservable, a human brain being unobservable, that science doesn’t “understand” electricity and magnetism. I am not an atheist and my boyfriend is Catholic. Both of us detest this ignorant, manipulative articles that make science and faith look like they’re mortal enemies, or that rely entirely on the “G-d of the gaps”. // Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Epistemological Transcendence
These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fucl), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. // And the road goes on forever…..RAGBRAI cyclist (fb) // Zion has rehearsal today and I am meeting someone new and feeling off and Arts Exchange tonight…… coffee then attitude adjustment, then I don’t know what… I have avoided writing because I’m feeling over optimistic and bitter at the same time. I have no idea what the fuck that sounds like? Not sure I want to know. I do know that off for me usually means write….. (fb) // “I don’t have secrets, just well-edited truths.” (fb) // #youknowwhatsannoying when you try and talk to someone and they are about as interesting as a table (tw) // “If you think you can’t make a difference, you are wrong. If you think you are too old or too young to make change happen, you are wrong. If you think that somebody else will do it first, you are wrong.” ~ Dan Pearce (fb) // The ulitmate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves its children–Dietrich Bonhoffer. (fb) // “The church was in the government and the government had always been rotton”–For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway-as the rebels tossed the priests over a cliff. (fb) // peace is what you get when you stop killing people. (fb) // We are saturated with lies. The lies we are told. And the lies we tell ourselves–Chris Hedges (fb) // Mr Roberts, of Lawrence Street, Brooklyn, who was fond of examining his revolver, did so for the last time yesterday. (tw) // Traffic on 34th Street was halted while a crowd looked, in vain, for Mrs Cornely’s nose, torn off when she fell down the station steps. (tw) // “you must write, and read, as if your life depended on it.” — adrienne rich // I’m a part of all that I’ve met. Yet all experience forms an arch through which gleams that untraveled world. Ulysses (fb) // Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’ Viktor Frankl (fb) // Without music, life would be a mistake. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche (fb) // BBQmySchlong:I love being kicked in the balls! I love having my penis roasted on a BBQ grill! I love drinking piss! I live in NY and can travel plus PAY you, if interested send an IM! PICS IN PROFILE! // I was just asked in a meeting, “Is it business critical to make this fannypack?” (fb) // “Kindness is a force that breaks open your heart even as it heals – and in that healing sets you free.” ~ Sharon Salzberg (fb) // Ok, I’m running a test to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching. Sing like nobody’s listening. Live like it’s Heaven on Earth. /// “I don’t consider myself an anthropologist so much as an animal behaviorist who specializes in humans.” “Yeah … you might not want to say that too often.” (fb) // Just had a very entertaining experience in corruption. A big burly Con Ed employee approached me as I was photographing dancers in Madison Square Park. He asked about my work as a photographer, made small talk and then asked if I did any “paparazzi” work because he moonlights as a bodyguard for celebrities and for a “percentage” he would text me who, where and when. (fb) // Had an MRI today for my sore neck. They gave me Valium because of my newly discovered claustrophobia from the first time I had one. That one was the longest half-hour in my life. Could NOT talk myself out of the irrational fear. It’s like being shoved into an orange juice can with your arms pinned at your side. But I was good and made no scene. Here’s how that first one went with mental dialog: Using the alphabet, come up with a name for a song title with each letter. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! (I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN YOUR EYES!) OK, undo the panic by counting each breath up to 100. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! OK, now count down from 100 with each breath. (Isn’t this half hour over YET? Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! THIS TIME: Valium an hour before and a cloth over my eyes during the procedure. It was a breeze. Make a mental note for next time, if there is one. I’m not looking to enter any kind of drug addiction or the Whitney Houston diet, but DAMN. Valium and the cup of coffee afterwards has made for a perfect day. But I dare not start a painting. (fb) // Curiosities of medical language: VESICULOGRAPHY contains no repeated letters. PARASITOLOGICAL alternates vowels and consonants. HYDROXYZINE is the only word in the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition) that contains XYZ. BIOPSY is in alphabetical order. Each letter in ZOONOSIS is rotationally symmetrical in uppercase. Each letter in BERIBERI and INTESTINES appears twice. (fucl) // Kind woman in dark aquarium: do you have all your children accounted? We have an extra with us there. (tw) // Mommy, you have too many semicolons in your book. I don’t see why you need so many of them. (tw) // 7-yr-old: what is nymphomania? me: where did you see the word? 7yo: in a book. Me: which book? 7yo: yours. (tw) // Class is a thing that has a way of dissolving rapidly in alcohol. (tw) // ‘The motion-picture business is the only business in the world in which you can make all the mistakes there are and still make money.’ (tw) // Her voice was as cool as boarding-house soup (tw) // She began to sob in my arms. Women have so few defenses, but they certainly perform wonders with those they have. (tw) // “I liked you better when you used to…” Those who put their comfort above your progress are not your friends. (tw) // Merely because his surgeon, Dr Fischer, left two sponges in his abdomen, Jacob Weiss, of East 87th Street, is making a legal fuss. (tw) // The number of wealthy Dicks in Long Island increased after sugar magnate William Dick left his $20 million fortune to his children. (tw) // In the future, after our generation is forgotten and humanity has become civilized, people will be able to edit tweets after posting them. (tw) // NO SORRY, SANTORUM, YOU MUST CARRY YOUR DEAD PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TO FULL TERM.” (tw) // Stacey @nonpromqueen Mommy, Potty Mouth, Lactivist, Liberal-ish, Atheist, Dong Expert, Geek, Goon, News Junkie, Web Addict, Video Game Connoisseur. (tw) // The Circus… Fun for the whole family. Except the animals kept enslaved and abused there. This is Tyke, who in 1994 killed her trainer to escape and was shot 86 times by police. It took her two hours to die. So the next time someone tells you the animals like it there, remember this photo. (fb) // Trigger Warning: sexism, fat shaming, body shaming, misogyny, assumptive objectification, Really ya’ll, these attitudes are insipid and just darn dull. Also, the fat shame and shaming is unwelcome. (fb) // ”We’re taught to do things the right way. But to discover something other people haven’t, you need to do things the wrong way” ~ James Dyson // A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.” “How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “About a gallon.” (fb) // “Not only is no language ever free of troping; not only is facticity always saturated with metaphoricity; but also, any sustained account of the world is dense with storytelling. ‘Reality’ is not compromised by the pervasiveness of narrative; one gives up nothing, except the illusion of epistemological transcendence, by attending closely to stories. I am consumed with interest in the stories that inhabit us and that we inhabit; such inhabiting is finally what constitutes this ‘we’ among whom communication is to be possible.” (fb) // With a leap in front of the northbound local, Philip Joseph, of Heary Street, canceled his wedding plans. (tw) // Abdul Baha Abbas, teacher of the Bahai faith, arrived on the steamship Cedric. One of his peculiar beliefs is that women are equal to men. (tw) //
Death had been ignoring 82-year-old Mrs Levy, so she jumped from the fifth floor of the Ansonia Hotel and got his attention. (tw) // Harvey had an eventful trip on the Olympic. Swindled on the first day, he quarreled on the second, and drank himself to death on the third. (tw) // When the doctors have done all they can for Sting, I hope one of them raises a vial of morphine and murmurs, “O Sting, here is thy death…” (tw) // Envious of the White Star Line’s Titanic, which is on its maiden voyage, Cunard announced plans for Aquitania, which shall be even larger. (tw) // Shiva is the destroyer and the first thing on his list should be his hairdo, but who am I to argue with the divine? The river Ganges is supposed to spout from his hairstyle, so there’s more going on in Shiva’s topknot than just a chaotic updo achieved without a mirror during the first five minutes of yoga. ~Margaret Cho (fb) “Nothingness was a wind that inexplicably changed directions but ever and always conscious of its goals.” (fb) // Please repost this to your status if you’re constantly being asked to repost things to your status by friends who constantly repost things to their status. Many people won’t repost this, but my truly sarcastic, caring and intelligent friends will repost it because they know this was reposted from a dear friend in dire need of more stuff to repost; and if you don’t repost it, then this means you must hate Jesus, kittens, puppies, Tim Tebow and bacon. And if you hate bacon, the terrorists win. I bet 444% of you won’t repost this. (fb) // This comment has received too many negative votes // This is closer // Knocking someone for being “too gay” when the real problem is that you think they are too materialistic, superficial, or catty.. that’s not fair to people who are femme but are none of those things. And it is often ironic, because by criticizing someone before getting to know them, we are engaging in superficial catty behavior. “If you want a good friend, first be a good friend.” (fb) // May all beings be truly peaceful. May all beings be free from fear, stress and unnecessary suffering. (fb) // “That would make a good Facebook status!” (fb) // I’m having trouble curbing my anger in this email. (fb) // She sighed. “All men are the same.” “So are all women—after the first nine.” She damned me and hung up. (tw) // I finished my drink and got the thirsty look on my face again. She ignored it. (tw) // They always have a gun in the drawer and they always get it too late, if they get it at all. (tw) // Brought my umbrella yesterday. No rain. Forgot it today. Of course it’s raining. Sigh. (tw) // Very proud of myself: I’m still less than halfway through this box of thin mints, and I’ve had them open for weeks. Go me! (tw) // Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it’s always somebody else’s money he’s adding up. (tw) //Oh you’re vegan, that’s cool but I practice true cruelty free living, BREATHARIANISM. I live off the nutrients of air then die after 1 month (tw) // he said something like ‘sorry if i’m being a shithead. am i being a shithead’ and i wish i could have yelled ‘YES OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!! (tw) // “If happiness always depends on something expected in the future, we are chasing a will-o’-the-wisp that ever eludes our grasp, until the future, and ourselves, vanish into the abyss.” ~ Alan Watts (fb) // Why do we constantly talk about non violence and then call people bitches on our facebook? (fb) // I’ve said it before: people talk a lot of crap and are too lazy to do their research. And then when presented with irrefutable evidence about matters of fact, apparently, they simply say “I disagree” so they can welch on their bets. The only mystery is why I am surprised. (fb) // NOTICE: Contents of web site may settle during downloading. Pages are sold by weight, not by volume. // I’m perpetuating a test…to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Such an interesting day on facebook. when I first logged in I saw an obituary posted by a friend in memory of his feline companion. I opted to respond to a friend request first before digging into the full obit, but when I returned to the news feed page I got this simple message: There are no more posts to show right now. I imagine I will find more on facebook through my groups and friend feeds. Such an interesting experience. (fb) // To the guy at the Cheveron, who tried to sell me a bag of weed, as I was at the counter paying for my gas…. What the phuck is your problem? (fb) // Poetry is my crutch and comfort. Girls are scary. (fb) // So, I went to three events tonight. Two completely social, one poetry showed her face what I learned, I cannot do the club thing anymore for real! I gravitate to folks I know which defeats the mf purpose. Everyone else is so fucking young. I may have to come to terms with, I might have to be alone for a while……Marinating on that one…ugh (fb) // Commenters get banned when they spam our comments section with inanities and slogans or if they establish a consistent track record of bringing nothing to the discussion beyond rude treatment of others. Insults are fine, as long as you’re making a point. But if insults and expletives are all you have, find another cocktail party. // “Neo-cons stink of necrosis and flee from the thought of peace like a Victorian spinster from a penis.” (fb) // The mideast is like the black-white thing on steroids. (fb) // I’m seeking the understanding necessary to be a great storyteller and the wisdom to know the stories worth telling. This is my intention. (fb) // So, you are going to use my page to promote your page and then announce how you are going to delete me after you used my fucking page….ok, weird, but ok…so how about I delete your ass first , you fucking recongnize and get over your damn self….. FOR REAL? MOTHERPHUCK , for real….. (fb) // That depends if you’re a functional distinctionist and if you think all things should be compartmentalized neatly into their place (which you conveniently invent and then pretend like it is proper only when you find things where you leave them), or if you recognize that distinctions/differences are a historical byproducts and you should do a geneaology to recover why on earth you think you need a separate room to shower or poop in the first place. Water supply doesn’t explain walls. In fact the only thing that I can think of that would explain the walls is puritanical fear of nudity aka prudence. (fb) // may all ancient hatreds become a present love–A Course In Miracles. (fb) // As the human soul matures, we are confronted with moments that force us to let go of yet another thin veil of self-delusion. The moral high ground, sinks into a thicket of gray. // Register for FREE to access our online magazine articles. This one-time registration takes only a FEW seconds. Continue to enjoy free subscriptions to email newsletters, SojoMail, articles and more great features. // If you aren’t a fan of Jon Luc Pickard (Patrick Stewart), this might make you ask yourself why not?……….“Our house was small, and when you grow up with domestic violence in a confined space you learn to gauge, very precisely, the temperature of situations. I knew exactly when the shouting was done and a hand was about to be raised – I also knew exactly when to insert a small body between the fist and her face, a skill no child should ever have to learn. Curiously, I never felt fear for myself and he never struck me, an odd moral imposition that would not allow him to strike a child. The situation was barely tolerable: I witnessed terrible things, which I knew were wrong, but there was nowhere to go for help. Worse, there were those who condoned the abuse. I heard police or ambulance men, standing in our house, say, “She must have provoked him,” or, “Mrs Stewart, it takes two to make a fight.” They had no idea. The truth is my mother did nothing to deserve the violence she endured. She did not provoke my father, and even if she had, violence is an unacceptable way of dealing with conflict. Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.” Patrick Stewart (fb) // Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence. -Vermont Proverb // Mrs Esther Galarzo, wife of a Brooklyn cigar dealer, and E.J. Davis, the negro she eloped with, were caught in Atlantic City and jailed. (tw) // At West 44th Street, while explaining to her husband that she wanted a club sandwich, Mrs Cohen shot herself in the shoulder. (tw) // “Has a playground for little kids as well as big kids.” // I am traveling with perhaps the worst procrastinators alive. We are STILL at the hostel, despite having prepped to leave hours ago. This means we’ll now be biking 4 hours in the dark and setting up camp at Tulum in the middle of the night. How absurd! (fb) // Selah
Chamblee54 
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