Chamblee54

Random Stranger

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 17, 2013

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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: helllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppppppppppp
Stranger: im bored
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: omg im gonna cry
Stranger: that poor tortoise is gonna die )):
Stranger: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME??@?!?!?!
Stranger: NOW IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK
You: but we can make soup from her
Stranger: you btich
Stranger: hes a boy
Stranger: i spelled bitch wrong
Stranger: woops
You: ok so we still make soup from him
Stranger: THATS CANABILISM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: bc im hungry and turtles are in season
You: how did it get on his back?
Stranger: I kicked it
You: what did he do to you?
Stranger: raped my pet rabbit
You: was that the rabbit he was going to have a race with?
Stranger: no that was her husband
You: sounds like an unnatural act would that turtle make good soup?
Stranger: yesh
You: is there any other way to eat turtle than making soup? Maybe a turtle salad
Stranger: or flambeau
You: are you a turtle?
Stranger: no
You: good i hate talking to turtles
Stranger: me too
You: thank you for your help
Stranger: of course
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?
Stranger: mmm… let me think
You: thinking is a dangerous activity
Stranger: well you are right
Stranger: but
Stranger: some times if you dont think enought you may die
You: getting back to the turtle
Stranger: ok
Stranger: it is a selfish person
Stranger: who dont care about other people
Stranger: well, in the lines you write, im the selfish guy
You: or maybe you prefer shrimp, and you are a shellfish guy
Stranger: hahahahahahahaha
Stranger: well i like shrimps, so, yes maby im a shelfish ;)
Stranger: and what are you?
Stranger: maby an owl
You: i am betting on the rabbit to win
You: and letting the turtle lay on his back increases the chance of that happening
Stranger: well, yes
Stranger: how ever, the rabbit is faster than the turtle
You: and tastier, and reproduces much much more
Stranger: lolol
You: i gotta run thanks for your help+
Stranger: no problem ;)
Stranger: run fast!
You: slow and steady wins the race
Stranger: that is how the tale end’s, so…?
Stranger: the turtle wins and the rabbit loose
Stranger: just for curosity, are you male or female?
You: male
Stranger: i think so lol
Stranger: well, see you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Voight-Kampff Test

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 17, 2013

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A facebook friend posted this: “New hobby: giving chat bots a Voight-Kampff test. It goes something like this: “hey stud u wnt 2 see my webcam XOXOX???” “A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?”

The VK test is designed to determine if someone is a human being, or another critter imitating a human. Once, Batman had a simple test for telling if someone was human or robot. He told the being a super funny joke. BM knew that robots don’t have a sense of humor. When the body inhabitant did not respond to the humor, BM knew it was a robot.

OK Cupid has a device, The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test. “A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies…or does it? Can you prove your human, or even “more than human”? Pass, and you’ll be given your freedom; fail, and you just might get “aired out”. Reaction time is a factor in this.

The quiz is a number of multiple choice questions about the movie “Blade Runner”. Here are two.
6- What film had Harrison Ford finished before he began working on Blade Runner?
The Empire Strikes Back ~ Mosquito Coast
he was still working as a carpenter, like Jesus ~ Raiders of the Lost Ark

9- What does the Voight-Kampff machine register?
sexual preference ~ it’s a lie detector ~ psychic ability ~ empathy

There are 45 questions. PG has never seen “Blade Runner”, so he gave what seemed like reasonable answers. There was an opportunity to sign up for OK Cupid. PG chose to get the answers only.

Your result for The Blade Runner Voight-Kampff Test … Nexus 4.5. It’s too bad she won’t live, but then again who does? If you know what a Spinner is, and understand the implications of memory transfer, you are on your way! But you still have some distance to go. Mabey you can be trusted with designing eyes for “skin jobs”. You scored 43% on Blade points, higher than 8% of your peers.

This was written like Isaac Asimov. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The test is not connected to actor Jon Voight.

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Message In The Cheesecake

Posted in forty four words, Trifecta, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 16, 2013

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Birds spray Xanax, on the compulsive joker,
Who is afraid of the punitentiery.
When  you  drink like a land based animal,
Hit men would be cheaper.
The subliminal message in the cheesecake only works for low perbole.
The world  knows,  and does not care.

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The Boston Tea Party Story

Posted in History, Politics, Race by chamblee54 on February 16, 2013

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For better or worse (it’s ok to curse), the tea party is a part of the scene. The seminal event was the Boston Tea Party in 1775. The first post below is a look at what really happened in Boston harbor. It is tough to discern truth from fable at a distance of 236 years, but we will try. The tea party metaphor gets worked over in another post, would you like a refill?
The second part is a look at the phrase “founding fathers”. This phrase is “liberally” sprinkled into rhetoric of all persuasions. This author sees a square peg being forced into round holes.
In the first year of the Obama regime, America has seen the rise of the “Tea Party”. These affairs are usually right wing, and have lots of clever signs. The general idea is that taxes are too high, government is too big, and that the people need to do something.
The namesake event was the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, crowds of people (some dressed as Mohawks) went on board the Dartmouth, the Eleanor, and the Beaver. The crowds threw overboard 342 chests, containing 90,000 pounds of tea. The crowds were unhappy because the East India Company was importing the tea into America, with a 3 pence per pound tax.

A website called listverse plays the contrarian. (spell check suggestions: contraction, contraption) According to them :
“American colonists did not protest the Tea Tax with the Boston Tea Party because it raised the price of tea. The American colonists preferred Dutch tea to English tea. The English Parliament placed an embargo on Dutch tea in the colonies, so a huge smuggling profession developed. To combat this, the English government LOWERED the tax on tea so that the English tea would be price competitive with Dutch teas. The colonists (actually some colonists led by the chief smugglers) protested by dumping the tea into Boston Harbor.”
According to Wikipedia, the Dutch tea had been smuggled into the colonies for some time. The Dutch government had given their companies a tax advantage, which allowed them to sell their product cheaper. Finally, the British government cut their taxes, but kept a tax in place. The “Townsend Tax” was to be used to pay governing colonial officials, and make them less dependent on the colonists.

In Charleston, New York, and Philadelphia, the tea boats were turned around, and returned to England with their merchandise. In Massachusetts, Governor Thomas Hutchinson insisted that the tea be unloaded. Two of the Governor’s sons were tea dealers, and stood to make a profit from the taxed tea. There are also reports that the smugglers were in the crowd dumping tea into the harbor.

The photogenic tea party movement seems to be destined to stay a while. The question remains, how much does it have to do with the namesake event?

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People often try to justify their opinions by saying that the “founding fathers” agree with them. They often are guilty of selective use of history. A good place to start would be to define what we mean by the phrase founding fathers.

The FF word was not used before 1916. A senator from Ohio named Warren Harding used the phrase in the keynote address of the 1916 Republican convention. Mr. Harding was elected President in 1920, and is regarded as perhaps the most corrupt man to ever hold the office.

There are two groups of men who could be considered the founding fathers. (The fathers part is correct. Both groups are 100% male.) The Continental Congress issued the Declaration of Independence, which cut the ties to England. Eleven years later, the Constitutional Convention wrote the Constitution that governs America today. While the Continental Congress was braver than the Constitution writers (We must hang together, or we will hang separately), the Constitution is the document that tells our government how to function. For the purposes of this feature, the men of the Constitutional Convention are the founding fathers.

Before moving on, we should remember eight men who signed the Declaration of Independence, and later attended the Constitutional Convention. Both documents were signed by George Clymer, Benjamin Franklin, Robert Morris, George Read, Roger Sherman, and James Wilson. George Wythe left the Constitutional Convention without signing the new document. (He needed to take care of his sick wife. Mr. Wythe later supported ratification.) Elbridge Gerry (the namesake of gerrymandering) refused to sign the Constitution because it did not have a Bill of Rights. Both Mr. Wythe, and Mr. Gerry signed the Declaration of Independence.

The original topic of this discussion was about whether the founding fathers owned slaves. Apparently, PG is not the only person to wonder about this. If you go to google, and type in “did the founding fathers”, the first four answers are owned slaves, believed in G-d, have a death wish, and smoke weed.

The answer, to the obvious question, is an obvious answer. Yes, many of the founding fathers owned slaves. A name by name rundown of the 39 signatories of the Constitution was not done for this blogpost. There is this revealing comment at wiki answers about the prevalence of slave ownership.
“John Adams, his second cousin Samuel Adams, Alexander Hamilton, and Thomas Paine were the only men who are traditionally known as founding fathers who did not own slaves. Benjamin Franklin was indeed a founder of the Abolitionist Society, but he owned two slaves, named King and George. Franklin’s newspaper, the Pennsylvania Gazette routinely ran ads for sale or purchase of slaves.
Patrick Henry is another founding father who owned slaves, although his speeches would make one think otherwise. Despite his “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech, he had up to 70 slaves at a time, apologizing a few times along the way, saying he knew it was wrong, that he was accountable to his God, and citing the “general inconvenience of living without them.”

Patrick Henry was a star of the Revolution, but not present at the Constitutional Convention. The author of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, was in Europe during the convention. Mr. Jefferson not only owned slaves, he took one to be his mistress and kidsmama.

One of the more controversial features of the Constitution is the 3/5 rule. Here are the original words
“Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.” In other words, a slave was only considered to be 60% of a person.
That seems rather harsh. The truth is, it was a compromise. The agricultural southern states did not want to give up their slaves. The northern states did not want to give up Congressional representation. This was the first of many compromises made about slavery, ending with the War between the States. This webpage goes into more detail about the nature of slavery at the start of the U.S.A.

The research for this feature turned up a rather cynical document called The myth of the “Founding Fathers” . It is written by Adolph Nixon. He asks :
“most rational persons realize that such political mythology is sheer nonsense, but it begs the question, who were the Founding Fathers and what makes them so great that they’re wiser than you are?”
Mr. Nixon reviews the 39 white men who signed the Constitution. He does not follow the rule, if you can’t say anything nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all. Of the 39, 12 were specified as slave owners, with many tagged as “slave breeders”.

The Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, have served America well. However it was intended, it was written so that it could be amended, and to grow with the young republic. It has on occasion been ignored (when was the last time Congress declared war?). However fine a document it is, it was created by men. These were men of their time, who could not have foreseen the changes that America has gone through. Those who talk the most about the founding fathers often know the least about them.

A big thank you goes to wikipedia Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. This repost was written like H. P. Lovecraft.

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Cracker

Posted in forty four words, Race by chamblee54 on February 15, 2013

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cracker is not the pale face

version of the n word

many crackers don’t care what others think anyway

why give people the power to turn you

into a mass of quivering rage because

the wrong kind of person said a seven letter word?

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The Greatest Thirty Three Words

Posted in forty four words, Trifecta, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 15, 2013

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this is the greatest
thirty three words ever written

adjectives with attitude
participles dangling in the
idiomatic obsolescence
metaphysical metaphors
volcanic vowels powering verbs
raging in ironic perpetuity
read this
change your life

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Mel Brooks And Buddy Rich

Posted in forty four words, Music by chamblee54 on February 14, 2013

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When Mel Brooks was a young man
Buddy Rich was a star
The Star showed the young man drumming secrets
When Blazing Saddles was a hit
There was a party to celebrate
Mr. Rich told Mr. Brooks
You could have been a good drummer

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The Doe Family

Posted in History, Holidays, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 14, 2013

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A doe is a female deer. There is also a human Doe family.

John Doe is rather slow. Not much is known about him.

How does a man without an face get in wikipedia?

Sha Dow is a mysterious figure. Why he changed his name, no one knows.

Jane Doe is the ex wife of Sha Dow. She is having an identity crisis.

Juan Doe is undocumented.

Bro Doe is on the down Low.

TaeKwonDoh is the asian of the family. She will kick your ass.

Do Si Doe likes to dance. She thinks being called square as a compliment.

According to science and legend, there was once a bird, the Dodo.

This is doe-doe, not doo doo.

Which will bring us back to Doe.

This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

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Fixing The Flag

Posted in Trifecta, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on February 14, 2013

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PG had been by the house ten thousand times over the last fifty years. It had been vacant since last summer. There was a flag out front, on display 24/7. PG did not think this continous display was a good idea, but did not want to dwell on it. Eventually, the flag would come down, into a respectful retirement.

This afternoon saw something different. The rope that attached the bottom grommet to the flag pole was broken. Instead of being tied down one side to the pole, the flag was hanging from the top grommet like a red, white, and blue dishrag. PG saw this while riding by on his bike, and realized that it could be fixed in two jerks of a sheep’s tail.

There were some things the flag rescue person did not count on. The first mistake was getting some four inch cable ties. They were not long enough. String would have worked better, but sometimes the desire to go high tech wins out.

When PG got back to his bike, the next door neighbor was in the road, staring. “What are you doing?” “Trying to fix the flag” “It’s not broken. That is not your yard, and you should not be there messing with it.” ” I have known the family for fifty years” “They sold the house, it doesn’t belong to them anymore”

Sometimes, what you are doing is right, or at least not wrong. It is also not worth fighting about. You need to know the difference. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

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Jesus Gets A New Nickname

Posted in Music, Religion by chamblee54 on February 13, 2013

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There is a video making the rounds now. The title involves Jesus, and a certain racial slur that is delicately known as the N word. When you go to many links, you get this message. “Jesus is my N…” This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Brian Spinney, LLC.” You should not worry about missing out. Just go to youtube, and search for the phrase that pays. Someone else will have posted the video, and you can feel the magic for yourself.

Here is a story about the song, with the edgy language bleeped. “One pastor is trying to spread the word of God with an edgy rap song. The rapping pastor and his wife claim they have “Christian swag” while tossing around the n-word. “Jesus is my ni**a!” Proclaims the pastor in one verse. The video of the rapping pastor was recently uploaded to YouTube but it’s not clear when it was filmed. It was taken at a church in Iowa which closed in 2004.” Another helpful interneter has the lyrics.

In case you didn’t know, Pastor Jim Colerick, and Mrs Mary-Sue Colerick, are melanin deficient. They are, as Bette Midler once said about Karen Carpenter, so white they are invisible. It is not considered good manners for Caucasians to use this word, with or without salvation.

There is another angle to this equation. Many Jesus worshipers see not using cusswords as a sign of righteousness. As a result, many Jesus worshipers use the words G-d, and Jesus Christ, as tools of their anger. This violates the third commandment. Now, this use of a sacred name, as profanity, is being extended to using a sacred name as a racial slur.

When you call a book “the word of G-d”, you give certain words too much power. When you decide that the lazy way of saying black is a super duper naughty word, you give those five/six letters way too much power. Now, we see the convergence of these two taboos. Let the party begin.

Pictures of Pastor and Mrs. Colerick are taken from the video. The other images are from The Library of Congress. This was written like Stephenie Meyer.


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Sports Tax

Posted in Politics, Religion by chamblee54 on February 13, 2013





There was a facebook link to What’s your take on President Obama’s second term? This is a poll about BHO, apparently without a fund raising subplot. PG declined to take the survey, because “It doesn’t matter what I think” was not an option.

There is another story at the website with the BHO poll. The headline was Didn’t Watch the Super Bowl? You Still Got Charged. It was about the “sports tax”. Some of the examples were goofy, but the concept is worth looking at. Especially in Georgia, where taxpayers are being asked to help build the Blank Bowl for the Falcons.

The pretty new stadiums cherished by the NFL are usually built with taxpayer help. Bloomberg has more information.

Taxpayers have committed $18.6 billion since 1992 to subsidies for the NFL’s 32 teams, counting the expense of building stadiums, forgone real estate taxes, land and infrastructure improvements, and interest costs on public bonds, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Eighteen of the teams are owned by billionaires. Even clubs using privately financed buildings such as New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium, where the New York Giants and Jets play, receive tens of millions of dollars in subsidies in the form of land and infrastructure spending.

Publicly financed stadiums for all U.S. major-league sports, including soccer, cost taxpayers about $10 billion more than forecast when accounting for the costs of land, infrastructure, operations and lost property taxes, according to a study of all 121 facilities in use during 2010 by Judith Grant Long, who teaches urban planning at Harvard University. The NFL has the highest public price tag, with taxpayers putting up about 87 percent of the expenses for NFL stadiums, she writes in her 2012 book, “Public/Private Partnerships for Major League Sports Facilities.”

This spending on sports facilities comes at a time when most governments are broke. Basic services are being cut back, and taxpayers are in revolt. Many say professional sports is a luxury we can no longer afford. The subsidies of events like the Super Bowl make them less profitable for the host city.

The second sports tax is a bit more esoteric. The sports industry gets tax breaks. They can make campaign contributions, and get cool deals from lawmakers. The one percent has it’s privileges. The rest of the population makes up the difference.

The third tax is a bit flakey. The word here is that sports channels are expensive, and included in most basic cable packages. If you don’t watch ESPN, you still have to pay for it. Unless you don’t pay for TV, which is still an option.

The fourth sports tax involves institutions of higher learning. If you attend a football factory, there are athletic fees. Resources that could be used for education are used to pay for athletic programs. While some athletic programs are cash cows, many are not.

The article does not mention higher health care costs because of sports injuries. When you operate under the insurance paradigm, everyone’s burden is spread out. When there are more expenses, there is more for the pool to pay for. Football is notorious for it’s injuries, but other sports contribute to the problem. This does not consider the resources directed to glamorous sports medicine, instead of others.

Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is written like David Foster Wallace.




Beating Heart

Posted in Commodity Wisdom, forty four words by chamblee54 on February 13, 2013

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people say
I firmly believe
I work to live
I don’t live to work
is there a difference?
does your heart stop beating
when you clock in?
do you get hungry before lunch?
Pete Hamill says
live your life, don’t perform it.
Pictures: L.O.C.

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