Chamblee54

The preceeding post about beautiful words had a couple of links. One was for beautiful words # 11-110. The other was for the 100 funniest words in english.
As you may have noticed, the list posted yesterday was not the ten most beautiful words in english. It was merely the first ten, in alphabetical order. The fact that number one rhymes with Detroit is a clue.
The second list….the 100 funniest words…. is also an a-z affair. The reality is that the last word is yahoo, and no z words made the cut.
PG decided to edit the list for the convenience of the reader. It occurred to him that perhaps this said more about PG than about the list…what words did he choose, and why?
Here is the list:
9 bloviate To speak pompously or brag.
23 crapulence Discomfort from eating or drinking too much.
24 crudivore An eater of raw food.
31 fatuous Unconsciously foolish.
32 fenestration Putting in windows.
39 fuddy-duddy An old-fashioned, mild-mannered person.
57 klutz An awkward, stupid person.
59 la-di-da A saying indicating that something is pretentious.
61 logorrhea Loquaciousness, talkativeness.
73 osculate To kiss.
83 rhinorrhea A runny nose. .
92 troglodyte Someone or something that lives in a cave.
This was going to be a bakers dozen, until a last minute review decided to pull “formication…The sense of ants crawling on your skin.” PG was slack about laundering some gym clothes once, and found out the literal meaning of “ants in your pants”. There was nothing funny about it.
Fenestration is better known to mystery fans as defenestration, or tossing a person out a window. A office worker who helps the boss throw someone out the window is a defenestrative assistant.
It seems to PG that comedy/funny prose is a matter of context, rather than individual funny words. Humor is also a matter of taste. Not being a female comedian, PG does not understand why it is so funny that men do not ask for directions.
If Don Rickels produced this list, hockey puck would be on it.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
bloviate- obviate, alleviate, abbreviate, novitiate, deviated
crapulence- corpulence, opulence, fraudulence. truculence
crudivore- carnivore, divorcee, divorce, herbivore
fuddy duddy- ruddy, muddy, buddy, daddy
logorrhea- gonorrhea, pyorrhea, amenorrhea,seborrhea
rhinorrhea- gonorrhea, pyorrhea, amenorrhea,seborrhea

There is a post today about 10 beautiful english words. HT to the WordPress home page.
The words are:
1. adroit: dexterous, agile
2. adumbrate: to very gently suggest
3. aestivate: to summer, to spend the summer
4. ailurophile: a cat-lover
5. beatific: befitting an angel or saint
6. beleaguer: to exhaust with attacks
7. blandiloquent: beautiful & flattering
8. caliginous: dark & misty
9. champagne: an effervescent wine
10. chatoyant: like a cat’s eye
Adroit is also the first word on the list. When PG was young enough to think it was funny, he read MAD magazine. There was a poem once:
Tigers Tigers fighting bright/In the ballparks of the night /Your pitchings fair, your fields adroit/So why no pennant for Detroit.
A commenter at the original post begs to differ:
I take issue with the top word on your list. Adroit comes from the French word for “right”, as in “right handed”. It is the direct antonym of gauche, both in English and in its native French where it means “left”, as in “left handed”. As a non-right-hander I find both of these words to be handist and offensive.
The last time I checked, left handed was not a protected category, discrimination wise.( Oxymoron alert). The current resident of the White House is a lefty. On the minus side, fabled southpaw Sandy Koufax invested money with Bernie Madoff.
And so it goes. Two of the ten are related to cats. PG has the same attitude towards felines that cats display towards humans. PG is not dependent on Kitties for his meals.
PG would like to adumbrate that you know how to pronounce these words before using them in conversation. Mispronounced big words are not flattering to the user. Like Sheriff Taylor said about his deputy once, “Barney tries to put his best foot forward, and then trips over it”.
Spell Check Suggestions for this feature:
aestivate- activated, activate, captivate, festival, cultivate
ailurophile- audiophile, Anglophile, bibliophile, necrophilia,
blandiloquent- grandiloquent, magniloquent, blandishment
caliginous- vertiginous, cartilaginous, mucilaginous
chatoyant- clairvoyant, eschatology, flamboyant, Chattanooga
handist- handiest
Koufax- Bouffant

Lostmissing is a public art project. It is produced by Mattilda, a San Francisco based author. Here is letter 4.
Our last conversation, or not the last the second-to-last, right? The one when you got so enraged I thought you might hit me but even when I thought that I wanted to think I knew you wouldn’t but the truth is that you got so enraged I thought you might hit me. I started planning out what I would do, there wouldn’t be anything to do I mean I wouldn’t be able to fight you off. Later, when I told you that even though I knew you wouldn’t hit me I still felt that way, I mean I was scared and I was planning out what to do, no I didn’t say that part I just said even though I knew you wouldn’t hit me I still felt that way and you said I would never hit you, I’ve never hit anyone, you know that. And I said I know. Except maybe I don’t know. Last night I had this scary dream, really scary you were about to attack me. Then when I woke up I wondered whether a nightmare was better sleep than no sleep, but then I fell into something much calmer, it was such a relief when you asked me about these posters I said I thought I might never speak to you again and you were listening. When I started thinking about this project, it was a series of letters to you, letters that would be on the outside of the envelope so that even if you were going to throw them out then you might read something. Now I don’t know if I want you to be a part of this project at all, I mean yes I still feel silenced and I want to make you hear me but maybe in this public expression of grief and longing and love you don’t matter and that means more.

There is a man on the WordPress home page almost every day. He has a walrus mustache and talks about climate change.
PG is neutral about climate change. He hears the wind blowing from the Gory alarmists, and the hears the whirlwind from the subsidized poopooers. He sees things to admire on both sides.
There is a lot of talk about prove. PG suspects that when people say prove, they mean indicate. There is a difference between prove and indicate. Yes, this and that are happening, but does anything really prove anything? Maybe there is another reason for it.
One manifestation of excess CO2 is changing with the ph balance of the oceans. It seems like the waters are absorbing the CO2, and the alkalinity of the water is changing. What effect this has on marine life is, at this point, unknown. Global warming may turn out to be the least of our problems.
It is clear that there are those who have a financial interest in not enacting climate control regulations. These people find it a good investment to hire their own scientists, to put out statements “disproving” global warming. Many journalists and radio whiners are probably on the take as well.
The ecosystem of earth supports a wide variety of life. This mix of elements has evolved over billions of years. In the last two hundred years, we have tampered with this balance. The effects of this tampering are unknown, and may indeed be beneficial. It is a chance we are taking, and we do not know the results.

What follows was originally posted at my original blog. I wrote in first person shamelessly.
The subject is timeless. In the fifteen months since I posted this, a Kansas/Kenya man with dark skin has been elected President. The playing field is having a fruit basket turnover. No one is really certain what is what anymore, except things are different.
The thing I would like to further comment on is the reality of black people using the N word. It is a word that degrades the person who uses it. For a person of color, it degrades them as the object, as well as the speaker.
I cannot help but wonder why a person would want to do that to themself,  their family, and their community.  Why should I have more respect for a person than he has for himself?
It is like smoking cigarettes. Yes, it is legal, and you have the right to pull toxic chemicals into your body. But why on earth would you want to?
Here is the original post.
The good thing about not having a big audience is the freedom to discuss touchy subjects. I can say more or less anything I want, and since very few are reading, there is no problem.
With that in mind, I approach the subject for today’s lesson…the “N word”. It doesn’t get much touchier.
Now, we all know what that word is. It has six letters, rhymes with trigger, and makes the brains of some people turn into jello. It is a derogatory phrase for people of African origin, and is familiar to a white southern person like myself.
I try to avoid using this term. There are four main reasons for this. If I ever get paid for doing this I will come up with a top ten list.
1- The N word hurts people’s feelings. I have known many fine Black people, and my life is much richer as a result. I do not want to say anything that will hurt these people. As for the not so fine Black People that I have known, they are G-d’s children just like me. My fellow human beings do not deserve to be insulted just for who they are.
2- Being heard saying the N word can cause all sorts of problems. This can include physical retribution, loss of employment, lawsuits, and having to listen to enough loud angry words to make you wish you had never learned how to talk.
3- It is not a fair fight. There is no equivalent phrase for a Black Person to say to a white person. I do not wish to give that power to another group of people… to turn me into a mass of incoherent rage, just for hearing a six letter word.
The closest thing to this is “Cracker”, which I only recently found out was an insult. This is odd, because when I was a boy, we had a minor league baseball team called the Atlanta Crackers. There was even a team in the Negro League called the Black Crackers.
4- The use of the N word demeans the user. When you say an insulting word about another human being, you make yourself look bad.
When you hate someone, you hate yourself worse than the person you hate. And frankly, a lot of these people are not worth it.
Now, if the N word demeans a paleface like myself, what does it say about a black person who uses it?

PG was doing pretty good at first. The fireworks on “Born to Run”…well, thats just show biz.
What does Bruce put on his hair? The man is 59 years old, and there is no way  that his hair is that dark on its own.
But when they went into the next song…something about dreams…and a robed choir appeared dancing…well, it was just a bit too much.
Despite Kurt Warner being an obnoxious Jesus Worshiper, there is a lot to like about Arizona. They just barely made the post season, then cranked up to win three games in a row. OK, so one was against the Falcons, and doesn’t really count.
So they had the ball at the three yard line with a few seconds to go in the half. What do they do but throw an interception that gets run back 100 yards for a touchdown.
Now it is the fourth quarter, and no one seems to want to win. Arizona got a stupid penalty, running into the holder on a field goal. Pittsburgh got a first down on the three yard line, and all they could do was kick a field goal. Now, Arizona is getting the ball back, with six minutes to go.
The game is over. Pittsburgh and Arizona swapped touchdowns, and Pittsburgh won. Football season is over.
Does anyone find it odd that the Arizona defense was so good for most of the game, then went to pieces in the final two minutes? It is almost as if someone was paying them to lose, but keep it under the point spread.

Christopher Buckley was discussing a known idiot the other day. It seems that someone went on Swedish TV, and said there were no gas chambers in nazi Germany. If you have the free time, you can follow the link and see the video.
Mr. Buckley’s concept was the speech should not be censored. People should be allowed to say what they please, and to be allowed to look like fools. The money quote: “Idiotic and hateful sentiments ought to afforded every opportunity of dissemination, so that all may hear and heap scorn and odium on them. Don’t jail someone for being pathetic. Putting them on YouTube is far more effective.”
This is the essence of the American system. You can say almost anything you like. You will probably be ignored, but you will not go to jail. Dictators in other countries could learn from this, and use the secret police to give speeding tickets.
It is not surprising that an illustration of Mr. Buckley’s thesis was so soon to come. A *tight end* for the Dallas Cowboys made a video. He sang in rap style, used a few cusswords and racial epithets, and rhymed Tony Romo. He wore a team jersey, and mentioned the name of the team owner. Sad to say, the original video has been removed from youtube.
The *player* was fined $22k. He made an “apology” video. The “apology” is an excellent example of Mr. Buckley’s law. It deserves to be ignored, but will get a few views.
The Dallas Cowboys and the Atlanta Falcons will watch the Super Bowl on TV.

Spell check suggestions for this feature:
romo- romeo, ramen, homo, rome, room, promo, romp

It is national plagiarism week! Here for the first act at chamblee54, we give blame credit to Father Tony. As he puts it: A pathologist sent me this list: Washington Post’s “Mensa Invitational” which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

PG likes to wander the internet, looking for things to say. It is very easy to get stuck in the rhetorical goo. Then he saw the ad…What is your real age?
There is a saying…”G-d is in the details”. On WIYRA, the fine print at the bottom is revealing. WIYRA is a function of the Hearst empire….going from bad to Hearst. The lawyer types added the disclaimer… Medical Disclaimer: All information on this site is of a general nature and is furnished for your knowledge and understanding only. This information is not to be taken as medical or other health advice pertaining to your specific health and medical condition.
Is the devil in the disclaimer?
Soon, PG was asked for an email, and told to create a password. Click here to indicate acceptance of terms. Somewhere in the mix was this … Free RealAge membership…Membership is free and provides practical, personalized information to help make your RealAge younger. If you check Yes, we’ll e-mail you wellness tips and, on occasion, information about other health topics, products, and services that are relevant to you. We will not share your e-mail address with third parties without your permission.
At this point, PG started to get nervous. He hit the x in the top left corner of the window.

In the autumn of 1973, PG was living in a trailer in Athens Ga. The humble dwelling was soon to be demolished to, make way for a highway.
PG shared the trailer with Bob, who was a DJ at a local radio station. Bob brought armloads of records home, much more than he could absorb. PG started to look through these albums, and found a few gems. The two that come to mind are Joan Armatrading and John Martyn.
John Martyn passed away today. He was born on September 11, 1948. Yes, he was born on nine eleven. His first name was Iain David McGeachy
The album that caught PG’s attention was “Solid Air”. It mixed acoustic guitar, deep, deep voice singing, and lush instrumentals. Mr. Martyn had been a friend of Nick Drake, and the space journey sounds they got from acoustic instruments shows this.
John Martyn opened for Traffic at the Atlanta Municipal Auditorium in 1971 or 1972. PG does not know if he played in Atlanta any other time.
There is a song on “Solid Air” called “May you Never”. It was recorded by many other performers. In 1979, PG found himself in a Moonie camp…although they didn’t tell you thats what it was. Before dinner, various people were singing for the group. PG performed “May you Never”.
There were other albums by Mr. Martyn, and PG got some as they came out. None had quite the kick that “Solid Air” had, and eventually PG quit looking for them. He did find a CD of “Solid Air”. Then today, the Aquarium Drunkard had the telltale headline with the name, and two dates.

One of the Atlanta bloggers recently posted a list of twenty musical acts the he “can’t stand”. The list was…
Nickelback, M.I.A., U2, Matchbox Twenty/Rob Thomas, Gwen Stefani,Fergie/Black Eyed Peas,Old Dirty Bastard/Big Baby Jesus, Norah Jones,Bob Dylan/Jacob Dylan/The Wallflowers,Linda Perry/4 Non-Blondes,Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs,Sonic Youth,Kid Rock,T-Pain, Jack Johnson,KATY PERRY, TV on the Radio, Eddie Vedder/Pearl Jam.
PG just feels a bit more like an old fogie. And, maybe, this is not a bad thing.
To begin with, seven of the folks PG has never heard of. There is Kid Rock, who got in a fight in a Buford Hiway Waffle House. Or Katy Perry, who kissed a girl before she goes talking about Jesus.
It is encouraging to see the vastly overrated U2 on the list. Or puzzling to see that not everyone thinks Bob Dylan the most important artist of the last sixty years…in addition to making some great records.
But the main reason the list made PG feel old was the length of time since he felt that way. When you are an observer, it can be easier to not like something, than to appreciate it.
PG had a friend years ago called Geronimo. He had a lot of influence over PG’s thinking for a while. There were things he liked, but the list that he did not like, and would ridicule, was even longer. One day, Geronimo started to rant about Jeff Beck. As it turned out, PG liked Jeff Beck, and let his pal know it. Geronimo continued to have way more opinions than he needed.  PG…after a while…learned to think for himself.
This was the early seventies. For many like Geronimo, disco was the anti christ. PG started to hang out downtown, and one night was dragged, kicking and screaming, onto the dance floor. He discovered that he liked to dance, and enjoyed the music that so many of his friends hated.
The process of learning to appreciate all forms of good music was a long journey, and is probably still not complete. There was the time when PG stood outside a stadium listening to Black Sabbath …another bane of the 1972 music snob.
A few progressions later, and PG was not exposed to much that he did not like. Music went into the mtv era, and radio got more and more specialized. PG got older and more decrepit, and caught himself enjoying Lawrence Welk.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). 0bviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.