Chamblee54

PG has been reading Even Cowgirls Get The Blues , and needs to return it to the Chamblee library today. However much he enjoys the tail tale of the cowpokettes, it is not worth an overdue fee. Add to this a book, unopened, about the tales behind popular rock songs, and you have a double delinquent charge, which the owner of this non revenue producing blog can ill afford.
This is the second time around the block for the tale of Sissy Hankshaw Gitche. The first time was in 1978, a couple of years after publication. The action of the story takes place in 1974, more or less. As the newsman on the peppermint colored portable radio said, the world situation is d******e as u***l. Today, this is as true as ever before, and the radio station does not play a polka tune to follow.
In 1974, Richard Nixon was on his way out, OPEC was in control of the world’s oil, and economic disaster seemed to be just around the corner. Mr. Gitch looks forward to the 1976, and the election of a liberal democrat to put things back in order. While few non republicans would call Jimmy Carter a liberal ( even then, the squabbling twin sisters, liberal and conservative, were spending way too much time with each other)…, smiling Jimmy, despite the best of intentions, and the lust in his heart, did not make everything ok.
One of the things that was a fevered vision in 1974 was amazon . A computerized book seller, with a cash register in every back pocket telephone, was just too fantastic for those more innocent times. It was just five years after man walked on the moon! Back to amazon, they have a web page dedicated to sales of Even Cowgirls Get The Blues . See, if you don’t believe me, just double click on the link. It will open in a separate tab, and you can go back to reading the aromatic tale of the “Rubber Rose” ranch.
If you look down the page of the Amazon thingie, you will see two lists of “key phrases”. Now, the key is a decidedly masculine device, and ECGTB is, at the core, a book about the historic role of females, i.e. running the whole doggone show. Of course, the key needs a lock to do it’s chore of controlling access, to whatever is behind the door. There is all of three part religion ( father son holy doober, yin yang tao, curly larry moe) in a form that we can all understand…key, lock, door. And you wonder why people some worship doorknobs.
When PG was a kid, there were relatives of in laws who wanted to word to use as an insult. The only trouble was, this word could not be profane, referring to either body parts, body functions, or deities. The word that these people chose as an insult was “dirty doorknob”. Somehow, that just doesn’t have the same punch as calling someone a body part.

Ok, back to the key phrases. ( If this sort of verbal derring do is confusing, unenjoyable, or makes you wonder who is winning the world cup, then maybe ECGTB is not the book for you. The author, Tom Robbins, goes off on all sorts of tangents and wordplay. When paddling upriver, his canoe never met a tributary he didn’t want to explore. To people like PG, this is great fun. However, there is always the first sentence, of the first comment on the Amazon page…”This book is not for everyone.) There are two types of key phrases listed here…Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs) and Capitalized Phrases (CAPs).
As per the help page on CAPs : “Capitalized Phrases, or “CAPs”, are people, places, events, or important topics mentioned frequently in a book. Along with our Statistically Improbable Phrases, Capitalized Phrases give you a quick glimpse into a book’s contents. Click on a Capitalized Phrase to view a list of books in which the phrase occurs. You can also view a list of references to the Capitalized Phrase in each book.”
The first CAP listed is “Rubber Rose”. We are going to ponder this phrase, end this post, and eat lunch. PG walked to the hong kong supermarket the other night, and bought a bag of dried beans. After the requisite soaking, the beans were cooked for a half hour on a gas stove. After lunch, it is time to walk to the library and return the books. You need not worry about the inevitable by product of the beans, unless you are behind PG when he gets to the library.
If you click on “Rubber Rose”, you get a list of books that use that phrase. The first is ECGTB, and the second is a book about Tom Robbins. The third is a book about movies, possibly referring to the movie version of ECGTB, which is reputed to be unwatchable. The fourth book to use the phrase “Rubber Rose” is Soul Harvest: The World Takes Sides (Left Behind No. 4). On page 379, the RR word is used.
The simple unadulterated truth is the a “Rubber Rose” is a douchebag (spell check suggestion:debauchery ). One of the key characters in ECGTB sells female hygiene products, and the RR is a key player in his band. To use baseball language, in the batting order (odor) of the Countess, the “Rubber Rose” is the fourth batter, the clean up hitter.
One of the more curious developments of the last 32 years is the use of the word douche as an insult. Yes, it packs more of a punch than dirty doorknob, but why is a hygiene appliance considered a dirty word? Could it be the use of this device with two body parts, connected by the taint?
Ah the taint. The first chakra (spell check suggestion:chakra ), the bottom of the torso, the spot between the devices nature intended for elimination and reproduction, shipping and receiving, helter and skelter. Why, the taint was recently in the news. As worldclassstupid (spell check suggestion: upperclasswoman ) tells the tale: “An ad on TV just promoted tonight’s news with the line, “At this year’s G20 summit, rioting taints talk.” I’m gonna make sure to watch it. I didn’t even know taints were there.”
Pictures for today’s entertainment are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” . The bug eyed copyright mongers at Random House have not replied to a request for permission, hence there are no quotes from ECGTB.

Numbers two and three of the worst conservatives in america have recently made public statements about the alliterative custom of dumpster diving. This custom of recycling from a green box has enriched the lives of millions, and Oxy Contin abuser Rush Limbaugh thinks there should be more.
… Now that school is out, where to find food. …There are also things in what’s called the kitchen of your house called cupboards. And in those cupboards, most likely you’re going to find Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, Lays ridgy potato chips,…. There’s the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s and if they don’t have Chicken McNuggets, dial 911 and ask for Obama.
There’s another place if none of these options work to find food; there’s always the neighborhood dumpster. Now, you might find competition with homeless people there, but there are videos that have been produced to show you how to healthfully dine and how to dumpster dive and survive until school kicks back up in August. Can you imagine the benefit we would provide people?
A google search for these videos proved fruitless. (There were no twinkies and ding dongs either. This is from a man who hired Elton John to sing at his wedding.)
Apparently, Sarah Palin does not share this enthusiasm for green box recycling. Mrs. Palin was hired to speak at a California college recently, and some were offended by the honorarium. Students found the contract for the Palin show in a trash can, and publicized the details.
In her speech, Mrs. Palin said “Students who spent their valuable, precious time diving through dumpsters before this event in order to silence someone … what a wasted resource,” She did not express her opinion of students looking for twinkies and ding dongs in the refuse facility.

This diavlog on religion and science was fun to listen to. I was (of course) multi (spell check suggestions:mulch,mufti) tasking, and suspect that I missed a good bit of the show by not seeing the expressions on the two faces. Mr. Martin especially seemed to be chewing on a plug of tobacco. In a case like this, I wonder what we could learn from the body language, the way they conduct themselves out of the sight of the camera.
This was between two proponents of the Catholic path. As a recovering Baptist living in the south, this is not the viewpoint I am familiar with. The type of Jesus that gets shoved in your face in Georgia, on a daily basis, is more emotional, less intellectual, and with even less appreciation of silence.
Yes, the modern Jesus Worship church is in dire need of silence. Many of these people are, imo,(spell check suggestion:imp,limo, moi afraid of silence. They keep shouting, as if they were afraid of what will happen when they no longer have the floor. It is good to remember that prayer is talking to G-d, and meditation is listening. This has a chicken and egg relationship with our society as a whole…people love to talk, but don’t like to listen.
Another difference with these two men, and the Jesus mongers that poison our society, is the emphasis on G-d rather than Jesus. Up to a certain point in the diavlog it occurred to me that neither man had even mentioned Jesus, and in the next minute someone did mention J-boi. It should be noted that the first commandment says to have no other G-d before you. This does not say anything about a so called son of G-d. At the very least, the hysterical shouting about Jesus, and his death, takes attention away from G-d. It also creates ill will, both for G-d and Jesus.
I may recycle this comment on chamblee54, along with some historic pictures. The pictures from the last hour were taken in depression era California by Dorothea Lange . Since they were sponsored by the US government, they are public domain. Anyone who says big government is good for nothing should check out the pictures collection at the The Library of Congress. . Or just look at my blog, for a few tweaked shots a day.

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes: People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. Send this to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.
0 Replies – you may need to work on your “people skills”// 2 Replies – you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing// 4 Replies – you have picked your friends well// 6 Replies – you are downright popular// 8 Replies or More – you are totally awesome (and that’s why you’re on MY list) Thank you to the person that sent this email. Pictures are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” .

There are stories coming from Afghanistan. Here is one more.
Now as then, the problem is not hatred of the west, so much as a dislike of foreign troops swaggering around and making themselves odious to the very people they are meant to be helping. On the return journey, as we crawled back up the passes towards Kabul, we got stuck behind a US military convoy of eight Humvees and two armoured personnel carriers in full camouflage, all travelling at less than 20 miles per hour. Despite the slow speed, the troops refused to let any Afghan drivers overtake them, for fear of suicide bombers, and they fired warning shots at any who attempted to do so. By the time we reached the top of the pass two hours later, there were 300 cars and trucks backed up behind the convoy, each one full of Afghans furious at being ordered around in their own country by a group of foreigners. Every day, small incidents of arrogance and insensitivity such as this make the anger grow.
Thank you the newstatesman and obsidian wings .

Those thoughtful patriots at townhalldotcom have compiled a list of 100 Americans ( or, 99 Americans and Rupert Murdoch) that “the left hates”. PG is not sure if he is a leftover or not, but finds hating someone he has never heard of to be a bit silly. Seeing Amboy Duke (72) and Joe Buck (71) on the list was  bizarre. Then again, there was  the pride is seeing Macon’s Erick Erickson (96) making good.
A couple of years ago, PG drove a delivery truck, and listened to talk radio. The announcers he knew then did not do well. Neal Boortz did not make the list. Laura Ingraham was 17, which is a shock to anyone who has listened to her. Michael Medved, the rudest person this side of Bibi Netanyahu, was 73, and Mike Gallagher was 90.
Anyway, as a public service to any leftist who has forgotten who to hate, here is the list. HT to the fishwrapper for telling PG about this list. Pictures are from that organ of big government, The Library of Congress.
01 GLENN BECK 02 SARAH PALIN 03 RUSH LIMBAUGH 04 GEORGE W. BUSH 05 ANN COULTER 06 MICHELLE MALKIN 07 THE TEA PARTY PATRIOT 08 DICK CHENEY 09 BILL O’REILLY 10 MICHELE BACHMANN 11 KARL ROVE 12 SEAN HANNITY 13 MATT DRUDGE 14 NEWT GINGRICH 15 ANDREW BREITBART 16 MARK LEVIN 17 LAURA INGRAHAM 18 ROGER AILES 19 CLARENCE THOMAS 20 RUPERT MURDOCH 21 JAMES O’KEEFE & HANNAH GILES 22 ANTONIN SCALIA 23 MITT ROMNEY 24 MARCO RUBIO 25 JIM DEMINT 26 MICHAEL SAVAGE 27 CHRIS CHRISTIE 28 BILL KRISTOL 29 JOHN ROBERTS 30 DONALD RUMSFELD 31 SCOTT BROWN 32 GROVER NORQUIST 33 PAT BUCHANAN 34 JAN BREWER 35 LIZ CHENEY 36 JOHN BOEHNER 37 THOMAS SOWELL 38 JAMES DOBSON 39 PAUL RYAN 40 JOHN BOLTON 41 DICK ARMEY 42 MICHAEL STEELE 43 SAMUEL ALITO 44 MIKE PENCE 45 JIM INHOFE 46 DAVID HOROWITZ 47 BOB MCDONNELL 48 CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER 49 ED MORRISSEY 50 ERIC CANTOR 51 MIKE HUCKABEE 52 TOM COBURN 53 RON PAUL 54 TONY PERKINS 55 DICK MORRIS 56 CONDOLEEZZA RICE 57 HUGH HEWITT 58 FRANK LUNTZ 59 DAVID PETRAEUS 60 MITCH MCCONNELL 61 JOHN STOSSEL 62 JONAH GOLDBERG 63 FRANKLIN GRAHAM 64 RAND PAUL 65 ALLAHPUNDIT 66 CHUCK NORRIS 67 BOBBY JINDAL 68 WAYNE LAPIERRE 69 RICK PERRY 70 HALEY BARBOUR 71 JON VOIGHT 72 TED NUGENT 73 MICHAEL MEDVED 74 TIM TEBOW 75 DON IMUS 76 RUDY GIULIANI 77 PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY 78 BILL BENNETT 79 MARC THIESSEN 80 TUCKER CARLSON 81 JEFF SESSIONS 82 GEORGE WILL 83 BRENT BOZELL 84 DENNIS PRAGER 85 KEN BLACKWELL 86 TIM PAWLENTY 87 PEGGY NOONAN 88 JEB BUSH 89 PHILIP ANSCHUTZ 90 MIKE GALLAGHER 91 WALTER WILLIAMS 92 STEVE FORBES 93 BERNIE GOLDBERG 94 ED FEULNER 95 JASON MATTERA 96 ERICK ERICKSON 97 ROY SPENCER 98 S.E. CUPP 99 JOHN FUND 100 MICHAEL BARONE

Dangerousminds brings the sad news that Pete Quaife, the original bass player for The Kinks , passed away yesterday. He was 66, and had been in dialysis for several years. Maybe it is time for Chamblee54 to do a post about The Kinks.
Battling brothers Ray and Dave Davies are the core of The Kinks. ( The name is pronounced like the american Davis, as though the e did not exist). Ray was the vocalist, writer, and rhythm guitar player. Dave was the lead guitarist, and sparring partner for his brother. The fisticuffs were not restricted to the brothers, and led to the band being barred from performing in the United States between 1965 and 1969.
There were several hits in the early days, most notably “You really got me”. ( This later became a signature tune for Van Halen). The band had numerous adventures, but never became the superstars that other British bands of that era did. Ray Davies developed as a songwriter, with many witty tunes, full of social commentary and britishness.(spell check suggestion:brutishness)
In the seventies The Kinks kept trooping on. They did an album called Preservation Act, which became the basis of a theatrical presentation. The next album was called Soap Opera, with a theater like production. This is where PG got to see The Kinks.

It was sometime in the spring of 1975, at the Atlanta Municipal Auditorium. Elvin Bishop was the opening act. The Kinks had started when PG arrived, buying a $4.00 balcony seat. Alex Cooley was in the box office counting money, and broke open a roll of quarters to give PG change for a five.
The band was playing “Celluloid Heroes” when PG walked into the auditorium. There was no one on the door checking tickets, so PG walked onto the floor and found an empty seat on the 13th row. The next number was “Lola”.
Ray Davies introduced the song by saying ” If you are a man, sing LO. If you are a woman, sing LA. If you are not sure, clap your hands”. The next number was about demon alcohol. There were lights shining on the crowd during this number, as Ray Davies asked if there were any sinners in the audience. The band did several more songs, ending the first half of the evening with “You really got me”. Dave Davies got some spotlight time with a rave up intro to this number.
The second part of the show was a theatrical presentation of “Soap Opera”. The band wore rainbow colored wigs, and stood at the back of the stage while Ray Davies told the tale. “Soap Opera” was about a rock star who traded places with Norman, who lived a boring life. The flat Norman lived in has pictures of ducks on the wall, which drove Ray/Norman to scream “I can’t stand those f*****g ducks”. This led into a rocking ditty called, predictably, “Ducks on the Wall”.
As the show dragged on, Ray/Norman was embarrassed by the mess he was in. “you can’t say that in front of The Kinks, they are my band, and that is my audience.” The audience lights were turned on again, and the band played a medley of hits from 1964.
Finally, the real Norman came back to reclaim his wife, put the ducks back on the wall, and kick out The Kinks. The band gave up on theater before much longer, and were popular for the rest of the concert happy seventies. Ray Davies was the babydaddy for Chrissie Hynde . Eventually, the band quit performing, and continued to cash royalty checks. Pictures today are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”

In 2006, a Jesus worship blog brought Juanita Bynum to PG’s attention. The blogger said “she’s a nice lady with a nice husband who is promoting good social values under the umbrella of Christian living.” Billboards appeared downtown, advertising a  show at the Georgia Dome , “The Thrashing Floor”, starring Ms. Bynum. (spell check suggestions: Benumb, Barnum, Byzantium)
Miss Bynum calls herself a prophet and a psalmist. PG made a comment, about the post above… A prophet is not without honor, except in his own land. What about a psalmist?
The blogger replied “The only people without honor around here are hit-and-run posters,chamblee..”
Chamblee54- I suppose a little self promotion is ok when you are representing someone who said, of himself, ” I am the way the truth and the light”
Of course, the telling detail about Ms. Bynum is her affiliation with Mr. Jakes.( T.D. Jakes) . It seems that, in that crowd, it is ok to give yourself whatever title feels good at the moment.
If that woman is a prophet, then I am Ronald Reagan. Of course, I may be a psalmist myself, and just not know it. That is the point I tried to make in my first post. It seems as though subtlety, brevity, and poetic license are as honorable as prophecy.
In 2007, Miss Bynum got a divorce from her husband, “Bishop” Thomas W. Weeks III. During the divorce process, he beat her up, and was convicted of aggravated assault. Miss Bynum is now selling music cds, candles, bath products, and makeup.
PG went to youtube, and did a search for “Juanita Bynum”. What he saw, and heard, astonished him. There are dozens of videos on youtube today by Miss Bynum. Three are embedded with this post.
Many people are not aware of this Jesus worship subculture. It thrives on anger, shouting, and verbal abuse. The audience appears to enjoy this, and seems to be “blessed”.
PG sees Jesus through those who believe in him. Considering the violence of the crucifixion, and the egomania of Jesus, the hysterical shouting of Juanita Bynum might be what Jesus is all about.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress

This is a repost double feature. It is on the general subject of motivation, inspiration, and manipulation. Such things are like perfume…nice to sniff at, but dangerous to swallow.
Back when I was at redo blue, we traded some printing for a motivational speech.
The speaker was D. J. Harrington. He came on stage with a telephone handset, demonstrating how to answer the telephone. There were a lot of statistics, like you get 50 percent more information when you use your left ear. ( This is a made up example, not a quote. I don’t remember any of his examples) It reminded me of something a teacher said once…: ” The best way to win an argument is to use statistics. The best way to get statistics is to make them up”
On the all important issue of what to say when you answer the squawk box, he suggested “How may I direct your call?” Now, I like to identify the company and myself as briefly as possible, and quit wasting the customer’s time. Mister customer knows why he called. HMIDYC is seven unnecessary syllables that do your customer no good.
As some of you know, I have a sensitive BS detector. This gets in the way of being “motivated”. When confronted with a entertainer motivational speaker, I try to glean one or two worthwhile tidbits. I give D.J.H. credit, he did make one good comment. “You must sell yourself first, your company second, and your product third” There are some idea mongers who feel I owe them my trust. I beg to differ.
Mr. Harrington used to call his dog and pony show “C*** U* F*** T** N*** U*.That phrase is currently a registered trademark of the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario and may be used with permission only.
Redo Blue was a diverse company. I suspect D.J.H. toned down some of the good ole boy touches from his presentation. Towards the end, he described a speech he gave in Oklahoma. “The only Catholics they have ever seen are Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne” He proceeded to tell a tasteless story about the Catholic Church. I was almost motivated to walk out.

In an early morning discourse, I said that Martin Niemöller was rolling in his grave looking for the royalties from his poem, “First they came…“. A little research later, I don’t think he ever wrote it down. For those of you with very short memories, here is the work…

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

-Martin Niemöller

Martin Niemöller was the son of a Lutheran minister. In World War 1, he served on a U boat crew. Harold Marcuse tells this story: “Niemöller was a commander of a German U-boat in World War I. A seminal incident in his moral outlook, as he related in many public speeches later in his life, occurred when he commanded his submarine crew not to rescue the sailors of a boat he torpedoed, but let them drown instead. “
After the war Mr. Niemöller became a Lutheran Minister. He was originally a supporter of Mr. Hitler, but became an opponent. He was imprisoned in Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945.
After the war, he began to speak out. The famous poem was derived from these speeches. It was never written down in typical poet fashion. There are several versions of it from him, and many more as the years rolled by. It has been quoted, updated, and quoted again.
In addition to the four groups mentioned above, the Nazis also came for mentally ill, incurably ill, or people in occupied countries. The legend is that when asked if he included Catholics, Mr. Niemöller said “I never said it. They can take care of themselves.” When the McCarthy fever hit America, he declined to mention Communists.
With regard to the royalties, I could not see that it was ever copyrighted. I do not know who “owns the rights”. Some have even speculated that the poem was not composed by Mr. Niemöller.
Recently, there was a blog post that quoted “First they came…” The post was about gay marriage. With all due respect to the people affected by this, the ability to marry someone of the same gender does not come close to a government killing six million Jews. .
There is the Rebel looking for a cause syndrome. Many people just want to fight about something, and the cause is secondary to the lust for battle. When a poem like this is used to fire up people for a shaky cause, it brings discredit to the poem..
There is the matter of the “Next Hitler” argument. During the run up to the first war against Iraq, Saddam Hussein was routinely called the next Hitler. While this may be a valid argument at times, it is like the boy who cried wolf if used too much. ( This is also known as Godwin’s Law ).
Maybe a general moratorium is needed on the use of “First they Came…”

For those who just look at the pictures, PG is not a Jesus Worshiper. He does like to take silly quizzes, and see what he scores. When a facebook friend reported taking a test, “Are you a hipster christian ?”, PG took the bait.
The test is thirty questions, and multiple choice. While this makes the grading easier, it sometimes asks you to choose the answer that you disagree with the least. When you are dealing with a prideful subculture like Jesus worship, which assumes that you know about certain things, a non worshiper is going to scratch his head a lot.
Question 1 should have been an indication of what was about to happen. 1 Which of the following books would you consider the most spiritually significant?//Sheldon Van Auken, A Severe Mercy//John Piper, Desiring God//Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ//John Eldredge, Wild at Heart//none of the above. PG has read none of those books, and only knows John Piper because his son writes a cool blog. PG would have voted for Piper, except the old man likes to trash homosexuals.
Question 3 was the first time that PG agreed with the answer that he checked. 3 If you are a believer, how would you describe yourself?//Christian//Christ Follower//”Christian, but not in the George W. Bush sense”//Please. Labels are for the over-30 set. PG chose the last answer, even if he is waaaay over 30. Labels belong on jars, not people. Jarheads are the only exception.
Questions 10 and 12 are both yes/no affairs, and PG could answer both  honestly. 10 Be honest: Have you ever gone on a rant about “authenticity,” “narrative,” or “love without strings”?//YES//NO 12 In the past 12 months, have you listened to a sermon by John MacArthur and enjoyed it?//YES//NO. Being banned from commenting at a blog ,owned by a John MacArthur employee, did not affect this.
PG is a recovering Baptist. You think you are over it, then you read things like question 18 and gag. 18 What would Jesus’ favorite beer have been?//Pabst//Chimay Red//Some sort of masculine stout//Jesus doesn’t drink! As it turns out, PG doesn’t have many opinions about the cult of personality surrounding J-boi. Out of sheer redneck pride, PG chose PBR.
Question 19 showed a lack of sensitivity to many people. 19 In the last year, how often have you argued (and significantly disagreed) with your parents about the following: politics, gay marriage, evolution, drinking, or the End Times?//Those topics never come up…because I’ve filed them forever in the “Relationship Ruiner” vault.//Maybe drinking sometimes comes up.//We debate them at every meal. Along with my eternal damnation.//I’m on the same page with my parents on all those issues.//My parents aren’t Christians and we don’t really talk about this stuff. PG’s parents were Christians while they were alive. PG would prefer not to speculate about what they think these days. Given the volatile nature of Jesus worshiper speculation about life after death…
Question 25 is semantic quicksand, but PG essentially agrees with the answer he gave. 25 What should the phrase ‘pro-life’ encompass?//abortion//the death penalty//pacifism//all of the above//a and b only. For the record, PG feels we should keep open the option to wage war, execute criminals, and murder babies. (Many include euthanasia in this group.) We should, however, be very, very careful about doing any of these things, and only use them as a last resort. Unfortunately, when you have the capacity to do any of these things , you make it more likely that you will do them. You build an army, and start looking for ways to use it. You buy poison and a syringe, and some showboat district attorney wants to waste someone. You have an abortion clinic, and a young lady will have the procedure.
Question 27 is mind blowing. 27 What is your preferred Bible translation?//The Message//The American Patriot’s Bible//ESV//NRSV//NIV//The App I downloaded for my iPhone//none of the above. In PG’s lifetime, the beautiful King James Translation has gone from the only game in town to “none of the above.”
Question 28 is another one where the available answers just won’t do. 28 When you heard Ted Haggard had had a gay affair, what did you think?//Of course he did. Everyone who opposes gay marriage is closetly gay. //He was fighting a demon.//Jennifer Knapp should write a song about it.//I felt sad that he was lying but wished he would have stepped down from his role as pastor sooner. PG’s reaction was to read reports from the “acting senior” pastor at the church involved, and think that was a very strange title.
Question 29 was about Christian music, and PG honestly answered “I haven’t listened to any “Christian music” of the last 20 years.” Finally, it was time to hit the score button, and see what the quiz thought about PG
Your Christian Hipster Quotient: 65 / 120
Low CHQ. You probably belong to the purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive, Hawaiian shirt-wearing Christian establishment, even though you are open to some of the “rethinking Christianity” stuff. You seem to like edginess in some measure but become uneasy when your idea of Christian orthodoxy is challenged by some renegade young visionary who claims the virgin birth isn’t necessary.
Not even close. Pictures are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”

There was a message in PG’s inbox from blogger central this morning. There is something going on that needs to be written about, mckrystal or something.
In Georgia, we have these restaurants called Krystal. The signature burger has a beef patty the size of a postage stamp, with a generous helping of dried onions. The legend is that Yankees have something called white castle, which is the northern version of Krystal.
Has McDonalds taken over Krystal? Is the McKrystal the McDonald version of a Krystal burger? The mind boggles, and the stomach turns. Vegans say I mctold you so, while emergency rooms prepare for boom business. The happy Krystal habit has become a happy meal.
Upon further investigation, it turns out that McChrystal (spelled with a c) is a team leader in the War on Terror. He said rude things about French cuisine in, of all places, Rolling Stone Magazine. Since the French are allies in this War on Terror thingie, this is, as Vice President Bite Me might say, a big F*****g deal.
Pictures for this feature are from The Library of Congress.

PG has been on a rules of life bender lately. Recently, the facilitator was Avitable. He left ten rules for life. He had 94 comments, many of whom offered their own RFL. While editing the Avitables, PG began to think. This is usually dangerous, though so far has not been fatal. A running list of profundities was begun.
This list uses male oriented terms. PG realizes that more than half of humanity is female. However, the english language is clumsy. Words like their and people just don’t sound right. For the purposes of this lesson, PG will say he and him. The reader can translate this into more inclusive terminology.

1 A man who says I don’t know is usually telling the truth, unless he is under oath. 2 If you don’t know, ask. 3 Don’t use body parts or hygiene appliances as insults. 4 If you can’t say anything good about someone, say bless his heart.5 Believe half of what you read and nothing that you hear. 6 If you tell the truth, you will always know what you said. 7 A phony apology is usually worse than the misdeed which proceeded it. 8 An after dinner bike ride in summer is a gift. Whatever you are doing can wait until you get back. 9 A man once complained that he had no shoes, until he met a man with no feet. 10 Wisdom fatigue is real. 11 Bumper stickers are asking for trouble. Why should the person behind you in traffic know your innermost thoughts? 12 Sometimes it takes more courage to listen than it does to talk. 13 The more opinions you have, the easier it is to be a hypocrite. 14 If you say something louder, it does not become more true. 15 When compiling lists of wisdom, include things that make you smile, even if you don’t completely agree. 16 You can wish in one hand and poop in the other, and see which hand gets full faster. Whatever choice you make, wash your hands. 17 Keep your voice down if you don’t want someone to hear you. 18 Efficiency is laziness with an attitude. 19 Know the difference between true wisdom and a clever phrase. 20 Don’t believe your own propaganda. 21 Follow the money.
The above feature is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.