Chamblee54

PG got quoted today in another blog. This person said that PG was a “fair minded liberal”. Those are fighting words in Georgia.
There is an old saying. If a man is not a liberal when he is twenty, he does not have a heart. If he is not a conservative when he is forty, he does not have a brain. PG is fifty six, and wonders about the brain and the heart. However, if he looks down, there is a gut. Middle age will do that to you, and being a skinny corpse is not an option.
Today we have the internet. If you google “am I a fair minded liberal”, you will get 1,890,000 results. There are no tests on the first page of results, but there is this article. “BP pledges to protect the Walrus Population in the Gulf of Mexico from oil leaking from their well”
Now, what we want today is a handy little test that will tell PG if he is a liberal. If we remove the words “fair minded” from the search, that may help. The first one to pop up is from Daniel Kurtzman . Since this is a fair minded blog, we will take both the liberal and conservative quizzes.
Internet quizzes are multiple choice, and often the test taker is left with awful choices. Just like most elections. Question one for both the lib and the con test are about what bumper sticker you are most likely to put on your car. The last bumper sticker PG put on a vehicle was “Don’t blame me, I voted for McGovern”. Today, the conservative choice is “I’d Rather Be Waterboarding”, while the liberal says “Insurance Companies Are Republican Death Panels”. The banner ads for question one are for Altoids and “Rule of a flat stomach”.
Question two is different for the two polarities. Liberals are told that an asteroid is about to destroy earth, and you should choose a book to take with you. This question is sponsored by Avis rent a car. The cons are asked what feature of everyday life the founding fathers would be most upset by. Zales, the diamond store, paid to advertise here.
Question three has the asteroid heading for the conservatives. The liberals are asked who is to blame for a second civil war. PG is offended that the question does not call that conflict by it’s proper name, The War between the States. Since this all got started with a post about the mama grizzly, the choice for the war is “Sarah Palin—for going rogue and leading a secessionist movement to crown herself as “Queen of Jesusland” Only problem is, the Queen of Jesusland is Joseph Ratzinger.
Question four recycles previous choices, with Cons asked about the second civil war (sponsored by Lexus), and Libs asked what offends the founding fathers. The war was caused by “Barack Obama — for accidentally nuking Texas after misreading his TelePrompter”. The founding slaveowners fathers were upset by “The fact that Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat was lost to a truck-driving nudist who tried to auction off his daughters on TV”.

Question five is the same for both classes:”If you could time-travel back to any historical event and bring one thing with you, what would you choose?” As you might imagine, the answers are different, and neither bears much resemblance to reality. The picks are “The day Monica Lewinsky brought Bill Clinton pizza—with a dry-cleaning coupon” and “The day of Obama’s birth in Kenya—with a video camera”. The con side has an ad from Roy Barnes, saying that Nathan Deal is too corrupt even for Congress.
Question six is the same for both deformities. “If you were a candidate for political office, what would your theme song be?”. The liberal side is sponsored by Allstate insurance, and the choice here is “It’s Not Easy Being Green,” by Kermit the Frog. For the cons, the choice is “Won’t get fooled again” by the Who. This song was written by Pete Townsend, who was arrested for using his credit card to buy child porn on the internet. The song “Won’t get fooled again” is about meeting a transvestite.
Question seven gets even kinkier for the cons. “If you could pile any three people into a naked pyramid, who would you choose?” Libs are asked “If you could issue an Executive Order, which of the following would you most like to see happen?” The concept of x rated cable news leads to a choice of “MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and Ed Schultz.” Rachel is the most rugged, unless Olbermann’s ex Laura Ingraham shows up.
Question eight is where serious action is taken. ” What region of the country would you most like to see kicked out of the Union?” as opposed to “Which of the following groupings of people would you most like to see brought before a death panel, and on what charges?” Does it really matter which group answers which question? The liberal page has an ad from a restaurant chain called Ruby Tuesday. They can host a farewell dinner for “All the blue states—home to spineless, sushi-eating, terrorist-coddling, granny-euthanizing socialists who’d be happier living in France”
Question nine is sponsored, for liberals, by Victoria’s Secret. They are asked what region of America you want returned to Mexico. The cons are asked to issue a dream executive order. The answer chosen gives lie to the notion that conservatives lack imagination. “Make it legal to detain anyone with a Muslim-sounding name and strip-search them for underwear bombs before boarding any plane, including Air Force One”.
Question ten is, mercifully, the last question. This is another repeater, with both categories asked ” If you could chisel any Americans, living or dead, onto Mt. Rushmore, who would you choose?” The conservative choice is “Revs. James Dobson, Rick Warren, Joel Osteen, and Saint Carrie Prejean.” In the spirit of diversity, the lib choice is “Cesar Chavez, Rosa Parks, Harvey Milk, and Angelina Jolie”.
As much fun as taking this quiz was, it is time to get the results. On the liberal test, PG scores “You are a Social Justice Crusader, also known as a rights activist. You believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains.” As a conservative, the result is :”You are a Freedom Crusader, also known as a neoconservative. You believe in taking the fight directly to the enemy, whether it’s terrorists abroad or the liberal terrorist appeasers at home who give them aid and comfort.”
Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” .

Today’s instant wisdom is from thelikepage // The world can’t end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013.// If 19 is a teenager and 21 is an Adult what is 20?// Whoever said talk is cheap hasn’t seen my phone bill.// Your mama so fat she downloaded cheats for wii fit// Having a friend so close you could class them as family// The awkwarness of being a third wheel .// It’s frustrating when you know all the answers,but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.// S [H E] B E [L I E ]V E [D] ♥// I get suspicious when I see “All of the above” on a test // Letting go is the best way to hold on.// I hate it when your seat belt randomly locks and you can’t move// The world can’t end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013.// If 19 is a teenager and 21 is an Adult what is 20?// Whoever said talk is cheap hasn’t seen my phone bill. // Your mama so fat she downloaded cheats for wii fit// Having a friend so close you could class them as family// The awkwarness of being a third wheel . // It’s frustrating when you know all the answers,but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.// S [H E] B E [L I E ]V E [D] ♥// I get suspicious when I see “All of the above” on a test// Letting go is the best way to hold on.// I hate it when your seat belt randomly locks and you can’t move// I hate getting home and saying “Is that what i looked like all day?!”// No, it wasn’t awkward until you said, “This is awkward.” Now it’s awkward.// Typing what you REALLY wanna say…then deleting it.// Life isn’t like burger king , you can’t always have it your way….// Excuse me. Excuuuus me. Sorry could you just..sorry. GET OUT THE WAY!// If your a FRESHMAN in the CLASS OF 2014 Like This!!!!// You have no idea how much you really mean to me.// “Why you acting like you don’t care ?” umm lettme brainstorm..BECAUSE IDGAF !// I never fail. I just don’t always get it right the first 30 times.// Those notifications that have nothing to do with you.// perfectly happy not seeing 99% of the people from school ever again// friends come and go but family will be there forever(:// “Why aren’t you answering? O i forgot to hit send.” :D// A 100 year old vampire wants a 16 year old girl…..THAT’S ILLEGAL!// I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep!// `Hey`.. 2 hours later.. `Hey`.. No its to late i dont wanna talk to you now// that little rush of excitement that you have when you get a notification (:// making up a story to tell your parents on your way home!// awkwardly sitting there while your friend is being yelled at by their parents// You used to be such a lovely person,what went wrong!// “i love you” does NOT mean “oh please break my heart”// “What time is it?” “Time to get a watch” “Time to get a new joke”// ahww(: you likeme?…..and her…and her…and herrr. hmm wow i can feel the chemistry.// When I have no money, all the awesome stuff is out and on sale. When I do have money, nothing worth buying is around. D;// Boy: I met someone who is really perfect; Girl: Then ask her out; Boy: Will you go out with me// Biting your lip so you dont laugh at an inappropriate time// looking at something for a minute and all you can think of is ‘what the fuck?’// THE DIRTY SLUT WHO HAS THE CHEEK TO CALL YOU ONE!// i think about you way too much.// Saying ‘I Love You’ Should Be Illegal If You Don’t Mean It.// ♫ why does ur phone waste battery telling u dat u hav a low battery// Your hand will always be my favorite one to hold// “No iPods in school!” Yes, because I’m going to cheat on my test, listening to Bed Rock…”// wake up.. look at phone… send message… pass back out// if you cant afford to take care of your children…. STOP HAVING THEM!!!!!!!// I’ll do anything for you to see you smile ♥// some things i do only in front of my family, and some things i do only in front of my friends.// automatically putting on your seatbelt when you see others doing it.// I listen to Muzic when I’m to stressed. Volume Up. ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █// im sorry im not perfect, the thin pretty girl you want.// i wanna talk to you so bad, but i hate feeling like i bug you. :/// I HATE it when my hair doesn’t do what I want it to!// when Buzz Lightyear goes all Spanish in Toy Story 3// Yes I am a teenager. No I am not pregnant, high, or about to steal your stuff.// I will always remember you. I promise.// Telling yourself you don’t care when you really do.// i am so GOOD at picking the WRONG people in my life :’)// I’m done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know. Bye.// Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal// hates people who try to take their bad mood out on you..// The early bird may get the worm… but the second mouse gets the cheese// I’m happy, want to know why? because i’m with you :)// Don’t try and perfect yourself for one person. Wait for the one that loves your imperfections.// the times you go on vaction get half way there and remember you forgot something important:)

There are a lot of lips moving about the “Tea Party” these days. Many of the party people are Jesus Worshipers, who believe that the Bible is the word of G-d. While this belief is not required to join the party, it is very, very helpful. Probably, very few tea partiers are Muslims, who believe the Koran to be the word of G-d. Whatever the phrasing, these three movements are real to those who believe.
PG watches from the sidelines. He feels that practice is more important than belief. PG sees Jesus in the words and deeds of those who worship Jesus. ( Is this worship a violation of the first commandment? That is another issue for another day.)
This hobby blogger drinks a lot of tea, favoring the cheapest brand available. Put two bags in a pitcher, heat the water for ten minutes, and pour the water over the bags. Sugar gets in the way of the taste, and lemons are too much work. You make the next pitcher of tea when you pour the last glass. What this custom has to do with politics or religion is a matter for those with a philosophical bent.
A blogger named Frank Turk made the video that is embedded above. There were 86 comments. Mr. Turk makes the comment in this video that Jesus is a real person. This is different from PG’s view, which is that Jesus is a spirit that lives in the hearts of those who worship him. To PG, this spirit has almost no relation to the person reputed to live in Palestine 2100 years ago.
In the video, Mr. Turk tells a story about tea parties becoming real . ” My brother-in-law David tells a story about the first time he visited Boston. David’s ex-military, and He says that he can remember all through school people told him about American history — about the events that happened that caused us to be a country, the list of facts. But in Boston, he found himself out in the harbor looking down into the water, and when he looked into the water and out at the harbor he realized: “Wow. This is were they dropped the tea into the harbor.” And at that moment, all those men and all the stories about them weren’t just facts or true statements anymore: the real people became obvious to him, and it changed the way he thought about our country and his part in it.”
Politics and religion are emotional affairs. Some sayings resonate, and some do not. This feature is about the concept of “real”. How political movements are based on events that only marginally relate to the movement, but make a statement that you feel in your gut. How religious movements worship a figure who has been distorted to mean what the believer wants him to mean. About how you know something is “real”.
First, the present day tea party, and the events in Boston Harbor December 16, 1773. PG wrote about the original Tea Party earlier this year. In the ecologically sound tradition of recycling your own work, here is what he found.
The namesake event was the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, crowds of people ( some dressed as Mohawk indians) went on board the Dartmouth, the Eleanor, and the Beaver. The crowds threw overboard 342 chests, containing 90,000 pounds of tea. The crowds were unhappy because the East India Company was importing the tea into America, with a 3 pence per pound tax.
A website called listverse plays the contrarian. “American colonists did not protest the Tea Tax with the Boston Tea Party because it raised the price of tea. The American colonists preferred Dutch tea to English tea. The English Parliament placed an embargo on Dutch tea in the colonies, so a huge smuggling profession developed. To combat this, the English government LOWERED the tax on tea so that the English tea would be price competitive with Dutch teas. The colonists (actually some colonists led by the chief smugglers) protested by dumping the tea into Boston Harbor.”
According to Wikipedia, the Dutch tea had been smuggled into the colonies for some time. The Dutch government had given their companies a tax advantage, which allowed them to sell their product cheaper. Finally, the British government cut their taxes, but kept a tax in place. The “Townsend Tax” was to be used to pay governing colonial officials, and make them less dependent on the colonists.
In Charleston, New York, and Philadelphia, the tea boats were turned around, and returned to England with their merchandise. In Massachusetts, Governor Thomas Hutchinson insisted that the tea be unloaded. Two of the Governor’s sons were tea dealers, and stood to make a profit from the taxed tea. There are also reports that the smugglers were in the crowd dumping tea into the harbor.
Smugglers, a corrupt colonial governor, and peaceful solutions at the other major harbors. Is this the story Glenn Beck is crying about? Or has he taken a dramatic moment from history, and exploited it for his own purposes?
In a similar fashion, modern Jesus worshipers have taken a figure from the past, and created a spirit in his name. The history of Jesus is much further in the past than the Boston Tea Party, and much less is known. There are those who say the Bible is the word of G-d, and can be trusted to tell the facts about Jesus. Others are much less certain.
So, when did Jesus finally become real to PG? The watershed incident took place in the spring of 1999. By this time, PG had decided that he did not agree with the two key beliefs of Jesus worship…that the Bible is the word of G-d, and that belief in Jesus will affect what happens when you die. It was becoming apparent to PG that Jesus was different things to different people, and that not all of them were good. You need to trust your eyes, ears, and soul.
The incident took place at PG’s place of employment, a business we will call redo blue. A co worker was a professional Jesus worshiper. The PJW was an angry man, given to temper tantrums, where he used Jesus to hurt people. On this day, the PJW shouted down and humiliated PG.
When the tirade was over, PG started to run a job. PJW took a phone call, and screamed ” I never felt better in my life”. In that instant, Jesus became real to PG.
Pictures for today’s entertainment are from a division of big government, the Library of Congress. . These pictures were taken in 1908 by Lewis Hine. He was trying to document the living and working conditions of children in the United States. At the time, child labor was common. Is this one of the big government regulations that the tea party would like to roll back?

This is a repost. Two years ago, Sarah Palin was the hottest name in show business/politics. Today, her star has only dimmed a bit. PG saw a performance by the mama grizzly, and was duly impressed with her star power. The fact that the candidate Mrs. Palin endorsed lost, to a crook, is not a problem.
During the honeymoon, an actress portrayed Mrs. Palin as saying that ” I can see Russia from my back porch”. This is the basis for the post below. Before we go there, the question arises, did Sarah Palin ever say she could see Russia from her back porch? Even at a slacker blog, fairness is good form.
The next step is Google. When you type in “Did Sarah Palin…”, some answers come up. They are “get breast implants, die, go to college, ban books”. ( When PG saw her speak, they did look real.) When you add “say”, the answers are “drill baby drill, she could see Russia, refudiate, and I can see Russia”. Perhaps Levi is the one to ask about “drill baby drill”.
When you click on “did sarah palin say she could see russia”, you have the option of 273k results. While no mention of her back porch came up on the first google page, there is a link to an interview Mrs. Palin gave the LA Times. She says “They’re our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska — from an island in Alaska,”
There is an island called Little Diomede in the Bering Sea. A Russian island called Big Diomede is a few miles away. Little Diomede has less than 150 residents. No Alaska Governor ( or ex Governor) has ever visited. Many of the residents do not have television, and do not know who Sarah Palin is.
So Sarah Palin ( as played by Tina Fey) can see Russia from her back porch. The closeness of Alaska and Siberia is well known. When PG started to look for information, he began with the Aleutian Islands. They string along for hundreds of miles, and cause a dent in the International Date Line. As for which is the last one, and when does Alaska turns into Russia, those are good questions.
So, another search angle was required. The Alaskan government supplied this: Alaska and Russia are less than 3 miles apart at their closest point in the Bering Strait where two islands, Russia’s Big Diomede Island and Alaska’s Little Diomede Island, are located. In winter it is possible to walk across the frozen Bering Strait border between these two islands. At its closest, the American mainland and the Russian mainland are 55 miles apart where Alaska’s Seward Peninsula and Russia’s Chukotka Peninsula reach out to each other.
Alaska is a big place. It has ten times the land mass of Georgia, with less population than Gwinnett County. There is a town on Little Diomede Island called Diomede. It checks in at 65°N 168°W. ( For our purposes today, we are going to ignore minutes and seconds) The town of Wasilla is the home of Sarah Palin. It can be found at 61°N 149°W . In other words, Diomede is four degrees north of Wasilla, and Nineteen degrees west.
Lets put this in local terms. Atlanta is 33°N 84°W . According to the atlas, 37°N 103°W is the point where New Mexico, Colorado, and Oklahoma come together. PG cannot see that from his back porch.

Those fun loving republicans in Delaware have nominated Christine O’Donnell for the US Senate. It turns out that Ms. O’Donnell has already made a name for herself. In 1996, she was the President of SALT…The Savior’s Alliance for Lifting the Truth. She made an appearance on MTV to urge teenagers not to masturbate.
The public spirited citizens at MSNBC have found a video. It was introduced by Rachel Maddow. Ms. Maddow had both hands visibly on the desk.
PG was watching this video while trying to download a file. He noticed that the download was going slowly, and decided to pause the video until the download finished. The image on the paused video was priceless. Body language experts will have a good time with this picture. ( It is the last picture in this feature.)
The picture was made toward the end of the video. Ms. O’Donnell was in the middle of saying “you are going to be pleasing each other. If he already knows what pleases him, and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture”.

This is a repost. In the past year, religion continues to exist. There has been a lot of anti Islam noise lately, mostly from Jesus worshipers. No one bashing another religion seems to be worried about the bizarre aspects of their own practice. In the meantime, bloggers have plenty to write about. The tagged pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
Those fun lovers at Listverse recently published a feature about “10 extremely weird religions”. This goes along with Hunter S. Thompson’s observation that “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”. Back when Chamblee54 was on blogspot, that was the motto here. One day, there was a comment that weird was not spelled wierd. What do you expect from someone quoting Hunter S. Thompson? Remember, you need we to be weird.
Back to the “matter” at hand, people have some strange ways of talking to/about/with G-d. The miracle is that things are not worse than they already are. The dominant religion in our culture is Jesus Worship, and those folks see moderation, in religion, as a sin.
Number Ten is Scientology. If you want a link to them, you can find it yourself, and might also want to look for professional help. Scientology is only included because commenters would be offended. As it is, the comments that PG saw asked about rastafarianism (spell check suggestions:libertarianism, humanitarianism ), the flying spaghetti monster, Islam, atheism, and Jesus Worship. The title clearly said that this was a top ten list, and not an encyclopedia. For  an encyclopedia of religions, try Hinduism, or seek professional help.
Nine through Five is pretty boring, as nine to five usually is. There is white supremacy, black supremacy, ufo admirers, burned out hippies, and people who take “Stranger in a Strange Land” too seriously. PG thought that “My Favorite Martian” was the best commentary on that book.
Number four is the Church of the Subgenius. While PG has never  participated in CotS, he admires the consecration of slack. If PG can ever get motivated to attend a devival, the world will be a better place.
Number Three is the Prince Philip movement. It seems like the residents of an island somewhere think the Queen’s hubby is a pretty cool dude. Princess Diana was not a believer.
Number Two…in more ways than one… is the Church of Euthanasia. It is popular with young people in China. ( Youth in Asia ) Given the popularity of war and capital punishment in the Jesus worship community, the CoE may become very popular. They are based in Boston, MA.
According to the church’s website, the one commandment is “Thou shalt not procreate”. The CoE further asserts four principal pillars: suicide, abortion, cannibalism (”strictly limited to consumption of the already dead”), and sodomy (”any sexual act not intended for procreation”).
The number one spot on this list is sometimes called Nuwaubianism. The travelers on this path do not use that term, preferring “factology”, and numerous other terms. The founder is Dwight York, who is currently in prison.( He is center in the last picture) The Nuwaubs had a facility in Putnam County, Georgia at one time.
The afrocentric beliefs of this group are difficult for outsiders to appreciate. The original post listed eight beliefs, among the man teachings of Dr. York. These three caught PG’s eye:
2. Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world
5. Women existed for many generations before they invented men through genetic manipulation
8. The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan’s son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. The Pope was present at the birth and performed necromantic ceremonies. The child was raised by former U.S. president Richard Nixon and now lives in Belgium, where it is hooked up bodily to a computer called “The Beast 3M” or “3666.”

A facebook friend recently posted an address for something called Hundreds of Proofs of G-d’s Existence. There are 666 examples. PG wonders if the thought of somebody reading all of these would be proof number 667. The list is the handiwork of Atheists of Silcon Valley. Pictures are from Little Five Points, which is evidence the G-d does not believe in providing adequate parking. 001 TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST (I)(1) If reason exists then G-d exists.(2) Reason exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//005 MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT(1) G-d is either necessary or unnecessary.(2) G-d is not unnecessary, therefore G-d must be necessary.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//010 MORAL ARGUMENT (II)(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.(2) That all changed once I became religious.(3) Therefore, G-d exists//014 ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE(1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it’s too complicated for you to understand. G-d exists whether you like it or not.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//016 ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF(1) If G-d exists, then I should believe in Him.(2) I believe in G-d.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//039 ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF(1) The majority of the world’s population are nonbelievers in Christianity.(2) This is just what Satan intended.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//048 ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PLASTIC DESIGN(1) Barbie dolls were created.(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//052 ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY (II)(1) How could G-d NOT exist, you bozo?(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//053 ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY(1) The Bible is true.(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.(3) The Bible says that G-d exists.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//054 ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION(1) Proof of G-d’s existence will be available when you rise bodily from your grave.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//099 ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You know what? I am offended.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//100 ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (I)(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You have my prayers.//101 ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM(1) I don’t know and you don’t know either.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//113 ARGUMENT FROM EYEWITNESS (SOMETIMES FOLLOWS OR COMBINED WITH LACK OF EYEWITNESS I)(1) Someone wrote the creation story in the Bible.(2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.(3) The only possible eyewitness was G-d.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//121 ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II)(1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.(2) I am an idiot.(3) People often point that out.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//125 ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY (altho it could probably be adapted to just about any religion)(1) Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did something nice.(2) This person was probably not lying.(3) Therefore, this person was a Christian.(4) Therefore, Christians do nice things.(5) Therefore, Christians are moral.(6) Christians believe in the Bible.(7) Therefore, the Bible is moral.(8) The Bible is G-d’s word. It says so.(9) Therefore, G-d is moral.(10) (We are just ignoring all the not-nice things that Christians may or may not have done in the past, it’s hard to trust history anyway, there are enemies of G-d working everywhere).(11) A moral G-d would be really nice.(12) Therefore, G-d exists.//128 ARGUMENT FROM WWJD(1) I have the “What Would Jesus Do?” T-shirt, bracelet, baseball hat, and shoelaces.(2) I wear them in public.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//174 ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY(1) I am stupid.(2) G-d made man in his own image.(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world.(4) G-d is omnipotent in power.(5) G-d is too stupid to do anything about these things.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//217 ARGUMENT FROM WIND
(1) You believe in wind.(2) But you can’t see it.(3) G-d’s the same way.(4) It IS TOO analogous!(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//235 ARGUMENT FROM UNICORNS(1) Unicorns don’t exist, especially invisible pink ones.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//243 ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE(1) Because.(2) Because why?(3) Because!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//250 ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS(1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that G-d exsits in a way tat’s so
sure thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo rG-d exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel’l expose scinetific evidnece thatG-d eeexists then we’ll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.(2) [Atheist doesn’t bother to read it.](3) Therefore, G-d exists.//251 ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH(1) Mais pourceque j’avois déjà connu en moi très clairement que la nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; considérant que toute composition témoigne de la dépendance, et que la dépendance est manifestement un défaut, je jugeois de là que ce ne pouvoit être une perfection en Dieu d’être composé de ces deux natures, et que par conséquent il ne l’étoit pas; mais que s’il y avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point toutes parfaites, leur être devoit dépendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment. — René Descartes,Discours de la Méthode(2) How could you possibly refute that?(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//322 KARL MARX’S ARGUMENT FROM MASSIVE OPIATES(1) Got to keep the public distracted.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//355 ARGUMENT FROM SEMANTIC UNCERTAINTY(1) Atheists can’t quite agree on the exact definition of atheism.(2) Therefore all atheists are wrong.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//366 ARGUMENT FROM ANAL FRUSTRATION(1) G-d my ASS!!(2) My ass exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//400 ARGUMENT FROM PULP FICTION(1) G-d came down from heaven, and stopped those motha-fuckin’ bullets.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//401 ARGUMENT FROM VOLTAIRE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY INVENTION(1) Voltaire said, “If G-d didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”(2) I concur.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//402 ARGUMENT FROM NIETZSCHE (1) Nietzsche said, “The only excuse for G-d is that he doesn’t exist.”(2) Not true. G-d’s got PLENTY of excuses.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//403 ARGUMENT FROM FIGHT CLUB(1) We are G-d’s unwanted children.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//406 ARGUMENT FROM SOME JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES AT PERCHANCE’S DOOR (ULTRA-CONDENSED VERSION)(1) Russia was atheistic.(2) But Russia collapsed.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//407 ARGUMENT FROM 2+2=4(1) 2 +2=4(2) Think about how improbable that is.(3) If the universe were left to random chance, 2+2 would probably not equal 4.(4) Instead, it might be equal to -43, or 7,894,321,695,844, or something else.(5) Only G-d could make 2+2=4.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//419 ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM(1) I like chocolate ice cream.(2) I opened my freezer, and behold, there was chocolate ice cream in it.(3) G-d is so nice with all his little attentions!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//420 ARGUMENT FROM MISDEFINITION OF A RELIGION(1) You don’t want to be an evolutionist, do you?(2) [Atheist explains that evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion.](3) But you believe in it.(4) That means you support Social Darwinism.(5) And that’s just yucky.//(6) I don’t want to be yucky, so I can’t support evolution.(7) But I need some explanation for the origin of life.(8) [Atheist: Evolution has nothing to do with—](9) Therefore, G-d exists.//421 ARGUMENT FROM ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES(1) First of all, I’d like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.(2) [shout out to all my homies in the balcony](3) I couldn’t have done this without Jesus.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//444 ARGUMENT FROM POT(1) Everything on Earth is here for people to use.(2) Weed makes you feel really good.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//452 AUDREY MEYER’S ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE(1) Ignorance runs rampant.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//459 ARGUMENT FROM PENIS ENLARGEMENT(1) I became a born-again Christian when I was 12.(2) Since then, my penis has grown about 2 inches.(3) Hence, belief in G-d enlarges your penis.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//497 ARGUMENT FROM LIGHT SWITCH(1) My husband slowly died of cancer.(2) But the light switch in the cellar somehow started working properly again, and to my knowledge my husband hadn’t fixed it before he died.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//510 DR. LAURA’S ARGUMENT.(1) G-d either exists or doesn’t exist.(2) How can G-d not exist?(3) Whore.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//513 ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT(1) You have to respect my right to believe that G-d exists.(2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don’t have to respect your right to believe that G-d doesn’t exist.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//553 ARGUMENT FROM CLOTHING(1) Fundie: “Why do you wear clothes?”(2) Atheist: “It is cold, I like having pockets for stuff, my body isn’t too neat to look at, and most of all, I would be arrested and forced to clothe myself anyway.”(3) Fundie: “No. You wear clothes because Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden and made ashamed of their nakedness.”(4) Atheist: “What about primitive societies where the natives go bare-assed without embarrassment?”(5) Fundie: “The word of G-d hasn’t reached them.”(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//562 BILLY GRAHAM’S ARGUMENT FROM TALKING TO G-d(1) “I talked to Him this morning.”(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//579 ARGUMENT FROM AUTHORITY (CLASSIC FORMULATION)(1) G-d exists(2) Why?(3) Because we said so!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//599 LADY HOPE’S ARGUMENT FROM DARWIN(1) An American preacher said that Darwin recanted on his deathbed, and started to read the bible.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//629 ARGUMENT FROM MATH(1) A guy once tried to prove all religions true using math.(2) Math only proved that Christianity was true.(3) All other religions were proved false with math.(4) Oh shut up. That makes perfect sense.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//639 HERBERT W. ARMSTRONG’S ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE AND THE BIBLE(1) When I was young, I searched for truth.(2) Science kept changing what it called truth.(3) The Bible didn’t change what it called truth.(4) Therefore, the Bible must be true.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//652 ARGUMENT FROM FORMER NIHILISM(1) My life was empty and meaningless without G-d.(2) With G-d my life is not empty and meaningless.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//653 ARGUMENT FROM LIBERAL SPIRITUALITY(1) Not all liberals HAVE to be against religion, you know. In fact, LOTS of liberals are religious.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//666 ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION (1) G-d exists. (2) Therefore, G-d exists.//

Boing Boing has an entertaining yarn today about an exploding can of sauerkraut. A food science class in Prince George, British Columbia let a can of “the popular German sausage topping” sit on a shelf for a few years. The students were quarantined after the incident. ( Is the Quran involved in a quarantine?) “Teachers didn’t know what was inside the can when it blew up, and called the local fire department and police to prevent an outbreak of botulism, a potentially fatal disease caused by bacteria sometimes found in canned food. “
The only problem with the panic is that sauerkraut is way too acidic for botulism, which cannot survive in an environment of less than ph4.6. “Liberty cabbage” is about 10 times too sour.
The embedded video features Sandor Ellix Katz , a “fermentation fetishist” and author. Mr. Katz lives at Short Mountain Sanctuary, described by Boing Boing as a “queer intentional community”. SMS is in Cannon County, Tennessee. The opening to the video was shot on the back porch of the kitchen.
In the video, Mr. Katz talks about the difference between canning and fermentation. In canning, the factory tries to kill the bugs. Botulism is a tough critter, and will often survive the canning process. In fermentation, the microbes are encouraged to grow, and the acids produced will kill botulism.
Of course, sauerkraut is never going to be popular with everyone. In the comments at Boing Boing is this item, from “ugly Canuck”. “I once saw an interview with a hundred-year-old British guy who had fought in the First World War; and when he was asked what the secret to his long life was, he answered, with a twinkle in his eye, “I never ate sauerkraut.””
Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

One hundred years ago, President William McKinley was near death. He had been shot September 6, 1901. Medicine at this time was primitive compared to today. During surgery after the shooting, the bullet was not removed. The University of Buffalo makes this comment: “Dr. Mann and the others were neither trained trauma surgeons nor did they bother with disinfection, not even wearing gloves. The first bullet had done little harm; the second entered McKinley’s abdomen. The physicians used improperly sanitized probes and when Mann could not find the bullet, he closed the incision without draining the wound. It was a fateful decision.”
After surgery, the President was taken to the home of John Milburn. He seemed to be recovering, but took a turn for the worse and died September 14, 2001.
President McKinley had been shaking hands at a reception. The meet and greet was at the Academy of Music, as part of the Pan American Expostion in Buffalo, New York. A letter to “The Nation” has this viewpoint. ” Whatever other results may flow from the assassination of President McKinley, let us hope that that object-lesson may be sufficient to put an end to our national habit of promiscuous handshaking in public. It is hard to conceive of a spectacle more fatuous and less edifying than that of a horde of country bumpkins, criminals, cranks, idlers, and curiosity-mongers standing in line waiting for a chance to grab and squeeze the hand of the unhappy Chief Executive of this country.”
There were anarchists in 1901, who had murdered several European leaders. Several of McKinley’s advisors did not think the reception was a good idea, and forced him to have extra security. A writer in the Buffalo Courier observed on September 5 “The surrounding of President McKinley by a body-guard of detectives when he appears in public, is probably as distasteful to himself as it is to abstract American sentiment, but as long as the earth is infested by malevolent cranks and unreasoning Anarchists, the precaution is entirely proper.”
A young man named Leon Czolgosz ( pronounced CHOL gosh) managed to wait in line with a concealed weapon. He was seen to shoot President McKinley. He was immediately captured, and executed October 29, 1901.
The video embedded with this feature speaks of a possible conspiracy. There would seem to be people who stood to benefit from having Teddy Roosevelt in the White House.
Lew Rockwell speaks of a rivalry between John Rockefeller and J.P. Morgan. Rockefeller man McKinley was replaced by Morgan supporter Roosevelt, who promptly began to break up the trusts. Another historian, connected to Lyndon LaRouche , speaks of British interests, and the rise of Confederate power. McKinley was a target of media superstar William Randolph Hearst. An editorial printed in the April 10, 1901 Journal asserted that “If bad institutions and bad men can be got rid of only by killing, then the killing must be done.”
Some say that a murder one hundred years ago does not affect us today. However, an argument could be made that the death of McKinley set in motion events that led to the establishment of the Federal Reserve System, and American participation in World War I. Both of those events have had effects lasting until today.
It is curious how President McKinley is mostly forgotten today. Some say he was most popular President since Lincoln . McKinley had been a wartime President, who won. His sucessor, Teddy Roosevelt, is on Mount Rushmore, and is a superstar President. Mr. Roosevelt also ran as a third party candidate in 1912, and helped to elect Woodrow Wilson. ( Mr. Wilson was alleged to be a member of the “Omega Group”.) Mr. Roosevelt’s popularity is very different from the other three Vice Presidents who were promoted by the murder of the President.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.

This weekend is the start of the NFL season. At the first game, the players, from both teams, stood silently and held a finger in the air. The gesture meant that the players were united in the negotiations with the league for a new union contract.
During the game, an announcement was made. Tom Brady, a quarterback, signed a contract. Terms were not released, but the estimate was that he would be paid $18 million a year. This works out to a bit over a million dollars a game.
The New York Times had a story this week about stadium debt in New Jersey. It seems like the old Meadowlands Stadium, now a parking lot, has roughly $100 million dollars in debt remaining. The taxpayers of New Jersey, for some reason, are responsible for this. The Giants and Jets open a new stadium this weekend. Somebody paid $1.6 billion for the new facility. HT to aimlow.
Locally, the Falcons are clamoring for a new stadium. Twenty years ago, the team threatened to move, if a new stadium was not built. A hotel-motel tax was passed to pay for it. Today, the state is broke, and Atlanta is poised to run out of water. Where will the money come from to pay for a new stadium for the Falcons?
America is in an economic mess. We are borrowing to pay for two wars, eight time zones away. The needs of education, health care, and infrastructure are immense. Can we afford to pay a quarterback a million dollars a game? Where does the madness end? Is football about to become the luxury our culture can no longer afford?

“In the first year of the twenty first century, there is strange and wondrous beauty. ” So said the trailer for a movie about the year 2001, produced sometime in the sixties. The reality was different.
Today is the ninth anniversary of the day that 2001 is remembered for. 911 has always been a political/religious/media carnival, but this year has taken an ugly turn. The anti Islam hatred is breathtaking. What does this say about Jesus?
One feature of the last ten years is the rise of citizen journalism. 911 is a big story, and many bloggers tell their 911 story . Mine is repeated below, with a few comments from 2009.
Last year, it seemed like the momentum for observing 911 was running out. Since then, the war effort in Babylon has changed. For some reason, a wave of anti Islamic hatred has taken America by the throat. And yes, there is an election in a few weeks. The even year 911s…with an election to be exploited…have always been noisier than the odd years.
So here is the annual 911 story from Chamblee54. Joe My G-d was on Manhattan that day, and has much more to say. The pictures are from The Library of Congress. span>
Today is the second 911 since the regime change. Mr. Bush gained much political capitol from the attacks, and used it foolishly. America is stuck in two costly wars. America has gone from a budget surplus to a trillion dollar deficit. Mr. Bush dug Mr. Obama a deep hole to climb out of.
The knee jerk reaction to 911 was to go to war. An invasion of Afghanistan was facilitated by “Operation Enduring Freedom” on October 7, 2001. Eight years later, America is stuck. Al Queda and the Taliban exist, as well as other jihad fighters that have not become famous. Pakistan is in danger. Iraq and Iran are allies. America is being bled white by these wars, and cannot withdraw for fear. This is a self inflicted defeat. The terrorists won.
When PG started this blog, other bloggers liked to tell their 911 stories. A quick glance today says that this custom is fading away. The corporate media is making less noise about 911 now, which is also good. How do you best remember a humiliating disaster?
PG is going to buck the trend, and publish his 911 story for the fifth time. This is written in first person. The company where PG was working no longer exists.
Most of my fellow bloggers are telling their 911 stories. Mine is not that dramatic. I was at work, and someone called out that someone had run a plane into the World Trade Center. I didn’t think much of it, until I heard that the second tower had been hit, then the pentagon, then the towers collapsed, then a plane crashed in Pennsylvania.
I focused on my job most of the day. There was always a lot of melodrama at that facility, and concentrating on my production duties helped to keep me sane. This was roughly the halfway point of my seven year tenure at this place, which featured an unfortunate association with a professional Jesus worshiper. After the extent of the damage became known, he shouted “ They are doing this for Allah” , and prayed at his desk. After seeing just what a hateful loudmouth Jesus created, the spectacle of the PJW praying made me want to puke.
I became alienated from Jesus during these years. Where I had once been tolerant of Christians and Jesus, as one would be with an eccentric relative, I had come to loath the entire affair…and I do not make excuses for Jesus either. I hear of others who found comfort in religion during this difficult time, but that option was simply not available for me.

PG woke up on nine ten ten, rumored to be the German cousin of Rin Tin Tin. He cut the computer on, went to facebook, and saw some well meaning friend saying ” If you have lived through something that proves that our G-d is an awesome G-d, press Like! “. This tidbit is featured on a like page with ads from E-Harmony.
This rubbed PG the wrong way, and he began to think of a reply. The third commandment, with it’s caution about using the G word in vain, was an option. Another option was ” If you have lived through something that proves Jesus is an asshole”. That is a rude thing to say about a useful body part.
Breakfast came and went. The internet has people with things to say. PG decided the thing to do was get on his bike and go to the yard sale. There were several boxes of VHS tapes. PG bought “Naked Lunch”, “Monty Python Volume 13”, “Beetlejuice”, and “The Big Lebowski” for two dollars.
All this time, PG was mulling over his post about religion. Between nutcase preachers who want to burn the Koran, bald headed bloggers , and 56 years in America, there is no shortage of material. The trouble is, no one is going to change their opinions because of it, and this will not make PG enjoy his own life more. You should never wrestle with a hog…you will just get dirty, and the hog will enjoy it.
When he got home, PG opened his email, and there was a message with “FW: Fwd: Fw: Southernisms / Northernisms ” in the subject line. When in doubt, recycle a joke email. HT to Uzi for this message. Pictures for this entertainment are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” PG listened to the Allman Brothers while composing this post.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORTH AND SOUTH The difference between the North and the South – clearly explained….at last//The North has Bloomingdale’s , the South has Dollar General//The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses .//The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.//The North has switchblade knives, the South has .45’s//The North has double last names, the South has double first names.//The North has Indy car races, The South has NASCAR races .//The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.//The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .//The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .// The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt. //FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ….. In the South : If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.//Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store… Do not buy food at this store. //Remember, ‘Y’all’ is singular, ‘all y’all’ is plural, and ‘all y’all’s’ is plural possessive//Get used to hearing ‘You ain’t from round here, are ya?’//Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.//Don’t be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can’t understand you either.//The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner’s vocabulary is the adjective ‘big’ol,’ truck or ‘big’ol’ boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.//The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .//Be advised that ‘He needed killin..’ is a valid defense here.//If you hear a Southerner exclaim, ‘Hey, y’all watch this,’ you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he’ll ever say.//If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn’t matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.//Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.//In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.//AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don’t think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain’t gonna call ’em biscuits.//Send this to four people that ain’t related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song ‘fore you know it.//Your kin would get a kick out of it too! // SOUTHERN GALs Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity, Humidity, Humidity //Southern women know their vacation spots:The beach,The rivuh,The crick//Southern women know everybody’s first name:Honey,Darlin’,Shugah//Southern women know their religions: Baptist, Methodist, Football,//Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl’stn, S’vanah,Foat Wuth, N’awlins , Addlanna //Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:Men in uniform,Men in tuxedos,Rhett Butler//Southern girls know their prime real estate:The Mall,The Country Club, The Beauty Salon//Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails,Having bad manners,Cooking bad food//More Suthen-ism’s:Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.//Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”// Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”// Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in: “Going to town, be back dreckly. I need sum kobir”//Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.// All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.//Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!// Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right fur piece.” They also know that “jist down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.//Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.//No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.// A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.// Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re “in line,”… we talk to everybody!// Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.// In the South, y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.// Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.//Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.//When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’, you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!//Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.//And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,”Bless her heart”… and go your own way.//To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your sweet little ol’ heart!// And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff….bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!//Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !//Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you’re a Northern transplant, bless your little ol’ heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.// SAVE YER CONFEDERATE MONEY, BOYS…..THE SOUTH’L RISE AGAIN