Chamblee54

So much for world affairs. It is time for a repost, with no redeeming social value.
In 1980, I was staying at a place called the Sea Haven Hostel, affectionately known as Sleaze Haven. This was in Seattle WA, which is about as far as you can get from Atlanta, and still be in the lower 48. I was working through Manpower, and staying in a semi private room for $68 a month.
There was a Christian group that met in the basement on Sunday Night. Now, as some of you may know, I am a recovering baptist. However, the lure of a free meal was hard to resist, so I went to a few meetings. One night, after spending the afternoon doing quality control work on the local beer supply, I joined the after dinner discussion. This was the night when I realized that the Bible is not the Word of G-d. This concept that has been very handy in dealing with efforts at conversion.
They seemed to like me, though, and welcomed me back. Maybe it was the southern accent. One Sunday, it was time to have a prayer to begin the meeting. I raised my hand.
Now, Jesus Worshipers enjoy prayer as entertainment . When they bow their heads, you see them stretching and deep breathing, in anticipation of a lengthy message to G-d. My message was a bit of a disappointment. Instead of a long winded lecture about Jesus and the magic book, I said what was on my mind. ” Lord, thank you for letting us be here today”.What else do you need to say?

Chamblee54 is getting a bit of recognition. On the front page of the current Blogginheads.tv , there is a column of links sent in by listeners. At the top of the list is a contribution by Chamblee54.
In the link, Timothy Noah observes that Scott Walker, the embattled Governor of Wisconsin, is not as bad as Hitler of Stalin. PG’s initial reaction was that Mr. Walker has only been in office a few weeks. To amass a record like Adolf or Josef takes time. Not to mention that, with Saddam Hussein frolicking in paradise, the job of next Hitler is open.
Mr. Noah’s co talker on this episode was Ann Althouse . Ms. Althouse is a Law Professor at the University of Wisconsin, and is personally affected by the disruptions.
Ms. Althouse got downright quotable later in the conversation. She was talking about hair , specifically on actors arriving for the Academy Awards. “What is this stuff that is in the position of hair on their heads? It is horrific”.
This caught PG’s attention, because he has wondered the same thing about Ann Althouse. The lady was born in 1951, and currently has bright blond hair. It is highly unlikely that she was born with hair that color. If you look at her photostream, you will see pictures of her from 1968 and 1976. She has brown hair in those pictures.
Historic pictures are from The Library of Congress. They were taken, in Palestine, in 1917.

PG saw where a facebook friend had taken “The Political Spectrum Quiz”, and was intrigued. A visit to Google City showed 162k ways to measure this factor. PG thinks that labels are meaningless, and should be not be used as insults or points of pride. A lot of people disagree. Pictures for today’s entertainment are from The Library of Congress.
Gotoquiz has the top spot on the hit parade. (There is no idication of whether or not they paid for this.) This site has a header ad for something called Yoostar2, which allows you to be inserted in famous movie scenes. The quiz has a series of statements (Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.) The quizzee is asked to make two decisions for each statement. First, you either agree or disagree, strongly or not, with an option for neutrality. The second decision is how important this issue is to you, with a setting in the middle as the default. The quiz has 53 statements, and you will burn some brain cells completing it.
The answer page is a graph. North is authoritarian, east is right, south is libertarian, and west is left. PG scored Left: 4.29, Libertarian: 4.21. On foreign policy, PG is -7.3, a non interventionist instead of a neo con. On cultural issues, PG is -6.75 on the cultural liberal side. There is an ad on the answer page, with a picture of Rand Paul urging the quizzee to “Sign the right to work petition Obama fears“. The other ad is from Groupon, with 90% off the funnest stuff in town.
That was a lot of work for a silly blog post, that few people are going to read. PG hopes the remaining quizzes are less labor intensive. Political Compass has six pages of statements. You have four options, agree /disagree, strongly/ no adverb. Neutrality is not an option, which can be a problem for the wishy washy. After soldiering through the quiz, PG copped a left leaning -2.88, and -4.31 on the libertarian side. ( The graph pits left against right, and authoritarianism against libertarianism.)
Advocates for Self Government score with the “World’s Smallest Political Quiz”. (WSPQ could be a radio station.) There are ten statements, with agree, maybe, disagree as the choices. Like the first two, the score is a graph, which can be a bit confusing. PG is 70% on Personal issues, and 20% on Economic issues. This puts him on the left side of the box for left/right, but in the middle for libertarian/statist. The one word answer is Liberal.
The Pew Research Center ( not connected to the deodorant industry) chimes in with “The 2005 Political Typology”. There are 25 statements, each of which has two parts. An example is “Using overwhelming military force is the best way to defeat terrorism around the world//Relying too much on military force to defeat terrorism creates hatred that leads to more terrorism ” You agree, strongly or mildly, with one of the choices, with neutrality not an option. Typology classes people as Enterprisers, Social Conservatives, Pro-Government Conservatives, Upbeats, Disaffecteds, Conservative Democrats, Disadvantaged Democrats, Liberals, Bystanders. They agree with the other studies that PG is a liberal.
OK Cupid is playing the political quiz game. Quizzees are asked to agree or disagree with these statements… “1. The government should subsidize struggling museums, theaters, and artists.//2. I am troubled by the eroding distinction between entertainment and marketing.// 3. Protesters cause more good than harm.//4. A person cannot be truly spiritual without regularly attending church or temple.// 5. Something like the theory of Natural Selection explains why some people are homeless.// 6. If countries are unwilling to cooperate with our military plans, we should treat them as enemies.” As it happens, there are a few more pages to answer. The default answer is “strongly agree”, and is registered if you skip over a statement ( or don’t click hard enough.) PG is rated as Social Liberal ( 73% permissive) and Economic Moderate (41% permissive), and best described as a Democrat.
Noted introvert Glenn Beck has been promoting the Nolan Chart survey. This quiz will cause brain damage. There are ten questions, with four multiple choices each. The choices are several complete sentences, and sometimes contradict each other. An example would be the question about a National ID card. “…We need a national ID card in order to prevent events like the attacks of 9/11 but without intruding too far into the personal privacy of the innocent…” There is no indication that a national ID card would have prevented a terror attack that would benefit the newly elected Bush regime. As could be expected, this test said that PG was a liberal.

Several movies have had a world premiere in Atlanta. We will take a look today. Pictures are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. Information about the films is from the Internet Movie Database. This is an encore presentation.
As some of you may know, “Gone With The Wind had it’s world premiere at the Lowes Grand Theater on December 15, 1939. The Lowes Grand site is the current location of the Georgia Pacific building. There is a vacant lot next door, on top of some MARTA paraphernalia. This lot was the site of the Paramount Theater, another movie palace that did not survive.
The GWTW premiere was a big deal. Ten year old Martin Luther King Jr. sang with his church choir. Clark Gable requested a private meeting with Margaret Mitchell, who became the envy of every woman in America. When Mr. Gable checked out of his hotel, a lady was going to be given his room. The clerk asked for a minute to change the sheets on the bed, and the lady said, no, I want to sleep on the same sheets as him.
It was the golden age of movies, and the next year Atlanta hosted the first showing of “Who Killed Aunt Maggie”. The premiere was at the Rialto, on October 24, 1940. The review at IMDB said it was an enjoyable mystery, even if it was a cliche fest. It is not often seen today.
In 1946, “Song Of The South” had it’s premiere at the Fox Theater. SOTS is a controversial item these days. It was based on the Uncle Remus stories, which were written down by Joel Chandler Harris. For those who don’t know, these stories were told by the rural black people that Mr. Harris knew when he was growing up near Eatonton GA. As Wikipedia tells the tale “Controversy surrounding his southern plantation themes, narrative structure, collection of African-American folklore, use of dialect, and Uncle Remus character, however, has denigrated the significance of Harris’ work”. In other words, Brer Rabbit is not politically correct.
The reviews at IMDB tell a different tale. To them, SOTS is a happy children’s movie. The Disney company seems to wish it would go away and be forgotten. Copies are tough to come by these days. PG would say to see it for yourself and make up your own mind, but  Disney won’t let you.
The female lead in SOTS was Ruth Warrick. Miss Warrick was a versatile talent. Her first movie role was in “Citizen Kane”, as Kane’s first wife. She was in many movies, before moving to television. She was perhaps best known as Phoebe Tyler, in the soap opera “All My Children”. Wikipedia tells a story about her, that is ironic for the female lead of “Song Of The South”
“In July 2000, she refused to accept a lifetime achievement award from the South Carolina Arts Commission because she was offended by legislators’ decision to move the Confederate flag from the state Capitol dome to another spot on the grounds in response to a boycott of the state by flag opponents. A lifelong supporter of African-American rights, she felt the flag should be removed completely, and commented, “In my view, this was no compromise. It was a deliberate affront to the African-Americans, who see it as a sign of oppression and hate.”
In 1949, the Paramount had the first screening of “The Gal Who Took The West”. The female lead was Yvonne De Carlo, who later achieved immortality as Lily Munster. In November 1951, the spotlights returned to Lowes Grand for “Quo Vadis”.
The last film in the GSU picture collection is “The Last Rebel”. This western had it’s premiere at the Rialto, May 27, 1958. The movie was a return to Atlanta glory for Olivia De Havilland. The film is the story of a man, whose wife dies in a fire during the war between the states. PG questions the use of the Stars and Bars on the marquee.
In 1974, Ringo Starr produced and acted in “Son of Dracula”. The movie had it’s world premiere at the Cherokee Plaza Theater. Cherokee Plaza is a shopping center on Peachtree Road, just east of the Atlanta city limits. The theater was torn down during a renovation, and the space is currently the produce department at Krogers.
A local radio station hired a band to play in the parking lot at the premiere. At some point, a long limousine pulled up to a stage, and Ringo Starr and Harry Nillson got out. Both were wearing sunglasses, even though it was after dark. Ringo got on the stage, waved a wand at the crowd, and said “I am turning you into frogs”. He went inside to see the movie, the crowd went home, and the movie was mercifully forgotten.
In 1981, PG went to a supper in an apartment building (now a vacant lot) across from First Baptist Church on Peachtree Street. There was a commotion down the street at the Fox, and PG went to see what it was. “Sharkey’s Machine” had it’s World Premiere that night.

This is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, and seven are previously published.Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
101-like my predecessors, I outlaw Bokonon John is preparing to become President of San Lorenzo, and he considers legalizing Bokononism. Reality intervenes, and he realizes that there is nothing he can offer the starving peasants to replace the thrill of an outlaw religion. Like when the US government outlawed cigarette commercials, including the toe tapper for 101. They were 101 millimeters long, a silly millimeter longer than the longest cigarette available. Even though TV ads for cancer sticks were outlawed, people continued to smoke. All it did was give the tobacco companies more money, because they did not spend it on tv commercials.
102-enemies of freedom As part of the installation of John as president of San Lorenzo, a collection of cardboard bad guys are floating in the ocean. They will be ceremonially murdered by Air Force planes. The villians include Joe Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Adolph Hitler, and Kaiser Bill. Even in 1959, few people remembered Kaiser Bill. He was the big dog in Germany during World War One, which was called the European War at the time. The idea that there would be a World War Two was not fashionable, indeed some called the first conflict ” the war to end all wars”. In Gallipoli, an Australian gentleman says that if he does not go to Gallipoli and fight the Germans, then the Germans were going to invade Australia and fight him there. This was said about our war in Babylon.
103-a medical opinion on the effects of a writers strike John and Philip Castle discuss a writer’s strike, until man comes to his senses. This is something that might have been considered in 1959, when reading was an honorable pastime. Today,with all the multi colored forms of entertainment, a writer’s strike would scarcely be noticed. Unless it was for television script writers, and those can be re used, even the ones read by the news casters. In 1959, the concept of a writers strike was something to be feared, something that would cause “petrescenceof the heart or atrophy of the nervous system”.
104-sulfathiazole Have you ever wondered where drugs get their names? Take sulfathiazole. There is something in the sound of certain words that makes them sound different.
105-pain killer John ate some albatross meat at a reception, and ran screaming from the room. He wound up in the private chamber of Papa Monzano, who is dead as a doornail. He was killed by ice-nine, turned into a rictus of frozen flesh. This is what some would have predicted for a substance that causes water to flash freeze, since most of the human body is water. Whether this is tap water, bottolled water, canal water, or toilet water makes no difference. Water is water.
106-what bokononists say when they commit suicide Even though this is the updated version of cats cradle, and we have replaced bokononist with bokononer, we will reproduct the chapter titles faithfully. Faithfully is an anagram for fat hill ufy. There is a singer named Faith Hill, either country or gospel, and she did not sing at the super bowl and forget a line to the star spangled banner. PG saw that episode in music history, and didn’t notice. He was waiting for the game to begin, and wondering if he should get more real food or start in on the desserts. As it turns out, he did both. The game wasn’t that great, and the packers won. The steelers threw an interception that was run back for a touchdown, and it was a pathetic pass. PG has long suspected that most super bowls are rigged, and that pathetic pass would be exhibit a.
107-feast your eyes! John confronts the children of Felix Hoenikker about ice nine. For those who are late to the party, lets refresh your memory about ice nine. Dr. Hoenikker was a research scientist, and he worked on military matters. This is how science usually goes, the best advances are made for military purposes, and once the killing is done, then the knowledge is put to the benefit of the living. The marines were tired of fighting in mud. Dr. Hoenikker concocted a substance that would turn the mud into ice, and then the marine vehicles could drive over it. The only problem is that human beings are made of mostly water, and ice nine would turn them into blocks of ice. A Gomer Pyle popsicle could not kill the viet cong, but could only say ssshazzzzzam ssssaargent caaaarrrrterrr.
108-Frank tells us what to do Two people have been killed by ice nine, and the foreshadowing department of this novel says that more are coming. Currently, John and the three living Hoenikkers are in a room with two frozen corpses. Newt Hoenikker threw up. Frank Hoenikker, the adult in charge, said to clean up the mess.
109-Frank defends himself Fends is a good word, whether the use is for offense or defense. PG once got a certificate for using fend in a sentence. It was 1986, and PG wrote about the newsletters the other tall clubs sent the Atlanta Sky High club. A man named Ryan Anthony did the same thing in Tucson AZ, except his “tall town observer” went on for twenty pages every month. Jared Loughner was not yet born. So, one day, someone wrote in, one of the other tall club newsletters, about a discussion she had with a friend. Do relationships fail or end? PG saw this, and helpfully suggested that maybe they fend. Ryan Anthony was amused, and declared this to be the best one liner in a Tall Clubs International newsletter in 1986.
110-the fourteenth book We learn that ice nine went from the possession of the three Hoenikker children, to the United States, the Soviet Union, and the Republic of San Lorenzo. At least the Soviet Union stole it. This is dissected in book fourteen of the bokonon chronicles. The title of this book is “What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on earth, given the experience of the last million years? The answer is “nothing”.
111-time out Felix Hoenikker died in a wicker chair, on the beach of Cape Cod, on Christmas Eve. We are going to say it was 1957. The Beatniks and rock and roll were getting going in 1957, in fact, Jack Kerouac was probably at his home on Long Island that Christmas Eve. The only thing was, Jack Keruac was a real person, and Felix Hoenikker was fictional. Any resemblance between him and a real person is coincidental. That is a disclaimer with teeth, putting the dental into coincidental.
112-Newt’s mother’s reticule So Frank and Newt were cleaning up in the kitchen of the Cape Cod house, and accidentally gave this dog some ice nine. The dog froze solid. They went to look for their father, and found him frozen solid. Maybe Papa Monzano wasn’t the first ice nine casualty after all. The kids called the funeral home, and buried dad under a forty centimeter block of stone. They put the dog in the oven. History is not always culinarily proper.
113-history There is a saying that there are three kinds of lies…lies, damn lies, and statistics. PG proposes a fourth division of lie…history. History is written by the winners of wars to justify their murders. History is used by robbers to justify their thievery, often for Jesus.

There is a twitter facility called Kool_Aid_Wino. The tweets displayed here are rumored to be produced by the ghost of Richard Brautigan. PG copied a few, and added his opinions. It should be noted that the beverage at the last supper of Jonestown was Flavor Aid, and not Kool Aid. Flavor Aid was cheaper. The flavor was grape. Pictures are from The Library of Congress # “Pauline’s shack is made entirely of watermelon sugar, except the door that is a good-looking grayish-stained pine” # In Watermelon Sugar… is another one of Mr. B’s books. PG does not remember much of it. Mr. B did not count the punctuation marks in Ecclesiastes in Watermelon Sugar. Somehow, In Watermelon Equal just doesn’t taste the same. # “I thought about it for awhile, hiding it from the rest of my mind. But I didn’t ruin my birthday by secretly thinking about it too hard” # As you get older, birthdays are inherently ruined, by the mere fact of being a year older. The fact that you have outfoxed the grim reaper one more time is ignored in the tsunami of self pity. # “The dream depended on the purring of the cat for existence and now that the cat had stopped purring her dream was falling apart.” # Even in his nominally coherent state, PG seldom remembers dreams once awake. This might be a good thing. # “There are comets that flash through our mouths wearing the grace of oceans and galaxies.” # Comet is a strange name for a car, and even worse for a household cleanser. Once, Volvo got permission to put out a car called Comet. When that got shortened to Vomet, the plans were dropped. # “I was trying to get some sleep this afternoon but the people in the next room took that opportunity to fuck their brains out.” # The Chamblee version is trying to take a nap while some man plays with his leaf blower. The yard never stays clean for very long. Leaf blowers are sinful appliances. # “He was leaving for America, often only a place in the mind.” # After he became rich enough to tell Paul Simon to fuck off, Art Garfunkel used to walk across  America. He would hire a driver to meet him at a prearranged point and time, and set out on foot. Once, according to New Yorker magazine, he tried talking to cows. Quite possibly, he had found America at that moment. # “My body was like birds sitting on a telephone wire strung out down the world, clouds tossing the wires carefully.”# Squirrels like to cross streets using telephone lines, and sometimes fall into traffic. It must really be better on the other side. A chicken could have told them, except for the language barrier. # “Your face is so beautiful that I cannot stop to describe it, and there’s nothing I can do to make you happy while you sleep.”# Doo Bee Doo Bee Doo was not in the original lyrics to “Stranger in the Night”. It was a studio improvisation by Mr. Sinatra., beloved by existentialists the world over.

# “The blossoms will be gone and their brief February spring silenced and no longer immortal.” # Right now, there is a premature spring in Alanta. Those plants are going to be surprised when the last blast of winter rolls through. # “It’s raining somewhere, programming flowers and keeping snails happy. That’s all taken care of.”# It is now sunday night. Tomorrow is a great day for rain. Now it is monday, and a storm is supposed to come through tonight. Rain is always something to be greatful for. The next drought could start tomorrow. # “I am always the last person to know what’s going on in my life, but I have a feeling that’s maybe the way it is with everybody” # Once PG saw a frisbee coming his way. He reached out for it, and was stung. It was a golf frisbee, was thick and hard and not intended to be caught. Sometimes, PG thinks life is full of rules that are not spelled out, warnings that are not made, and things that hurt when you catch them. # “The future held only two directions: They were either going to open up a flea circus or commit themselves to an insane asylum.” # Once, someone tried to get into the Limelight, and was told he could not get in without a collar. He went to the disco Kroger, next door, and bought a flea collar. They let him in. # “It’s so nice to wake up in the morning all alone and not have to tell somebody you love them when you don’t love them any more.” # There is an audio of about 25 people reading this. When you can fake sincerity, you have got it made. # “Oh, how good those bears would taste: roasted, fried, boiled or made into spaghetti, bear spaghetti just like the Italians make.” # Would bare spaghetti be the pasta strings with no sauce? # “We stopped at perfect days and got out of the car. The wind glanced at her hair. It was as simple as that.” # Even on imperfect days you need to get out of the car. The wind’s reaction to her hair is different in Alabama than most places, because the hair is bigger. # “I like this taxi driver, racing through the dark streets of Tokyo as if life had no meaning. I feel the same way.”# A friend once named his dog Taxi. That is one of those names you cannot give a dog, especially in New York. PG traveled with Taxi many times, but never really felt any bonding. Dogs named Taxi do not keep the meter running. # “There is a passion here that would drive a deaf saint to learn the violin and play Beethoven at Stonehenge.” # Or maybe a perfume that would make Newt Gingrich eat dinner at the S&S cafeteria. Hopefully, on a sunday evening when PG and Uzi eat at Piccadilly. # “He would very carefully, like cutting a diamond, clitorally masturbate her until she came. He could have gotten a job at Tiffany’s.” # Truman Capote wrote a story about Tiffany’s one time. It became a movie, which to some is the only reason to write a book. # “I want high school report cards to look like this: Computer Magic: A, Finding out about Fish: A, Marcia’s Long Blonde Beauty: A+!” Report cards are the worst reason to go to school. Fish and computer magic are second and third. Long blonde beauty is only good until the peroxide fades at the roots. # “Sometimes when you meet people for the first time, they stare at the sky.” Maybe this is the reason why Karen Carpenter refused that ham sandwich Mama Cass offered her.

In it’s never ending struggle to keep the Cox family in business, the fishwrapper reports what is probably the most important story so far in 2011. ( The video about the lost pig is a close second). It seems as though two anonymous sinners in New York decided to fool around, after a voodoo ritual. A candle got knocked over, and the building caught on fire. A 62 year old neighbor died in the fire.
The fun starts in the comments. Some readers got the impression that the 62yo was a participant in the candle burning whoopee. Other readers felt obliged to speculate about the eternal soul of the departed lady, while others commented on the pre mortem condition of her lady parts. A good time was had by all.
outspoken1…February 25th, 2011 5:17 pm appears to me that she had it coming. People that do the voodoo will burn in hell anyways. She just got a jump start on her eternal life. Happy ever after, Mary/// George…February 25th, 2011 5:20 pm Ummmm … I clarified the story to let everyone know the deceased was not a voodoo ritual participant./// Peachy…February 25th, 2011 5:49 pm This is sad … evil was all in that room. Ms. Feagin may have stamped her ticket to hell watching this mess./// justineb… February 25th, 2011 7:12 pm And we know where their Souls End Up, in HELL. So Sad./// ewwwwww… February 25th, 2011 7:50 pm “It’s better at 62 than ever!! No swell, no tell, and greatful as hell!!!!!!!” Dont forget that it smells, grandma va j j’s must smell so bad /// Dawghuff… February 25th, 2011 7:52 pm You silly Christians can say that’s someone’s soul is hell, a very offensive thing to say, but then your feelings get hurt when someone says how stupid your religion is as well… LOL Oh the irony!/// Real man, not a baby boy…February 25th, 2011 8:56 pm ewwwww: you’re a pathetic fool. Hotness increases with age. The great thing about getting older is that you realize that young people don’t know or have squat when it comes to hotness. I’m 50. We laugh at twenty somethings! You don’t even BEGIN to approach hotness until you’re thirty five. Forties is prime time, 50 and beyond is just damn awesome! You can’t know these things, but if you’re lucky enough to find a b*tch that’ll put out for your baby bit, more power to you. And that smell you’re talkin about? It’s called stank, and it’s coming from your own crotch./// ewwwwww… February 25th, 2011 9:31 pm Real Man, Thanks grandpa, while your banging the golden girls and remembering the good ol’ days. I will continue to bang women in there 20’s. Just because your balls reach your knees doesn’t make you a real man. So get out that AARP card and hit up the early bird special at Golden Coral and dont talk down to me. Have a great night and dont forget to take your pills in the F container. /// Real man, not a baby boy… February 25th, 2011 9:54 pm LOL! You couldn’t hope to know what it means to be a man. You go ahead and do your little twenty year-olds. You can HAVE them! I’ve had sex with women my whoe like and I can tell you 20 year old chicks are nothing! Real men aren’t intimidated by your bs talk. These ARE the good days boy, and someday you’ll know that you mouth off knowing nothing. HAHAHAHAHA! Stupid little loser boy. /// ewwwwww… February 25th, 2011 10:22 pm Well Im glad you have had sex with women “your whoe like” (lol). Just because you have a weird fettish for swollen up, dried out rasin Vay J J doesn’t make you any more of a man then I am. I am proud to say I have served my country for 5 years. Was able to go to college and provide a nice life for myself. To call me a loser boy and say I dont know what it means to be a man is sad and just wrong. The fact is your old (Really old), and you can only have what you can get. If your game is women with one foot in the grave then tap it son. But I dont care what you say given the option you would choose a 21 year old over a 62 year old any day. If you choose the 62 year old your just a granny chasser and their is nothing wrong with that. But say it with me “ewwwwwwwwwwwww” Its obvious you cant take humor. Since my first post was a play on words. So grease up with Ben-gay and start popping those magic blue pills. Slip on some solid gold and start tapping grandma in the ballon knot.Im not stupid to not know that women hit there prime when they are older but come on we were talking about 62 here. Thats just awful to think about. Semper Fi, Ewwwwww /// Candles suck… February 25th, 2011 10:35 pm Don’t mix candles with ANYTHING. They’re dangerous. I’ve been in a fire because of candles. THEY ARE DANGEROUS. DON’T BUY OR USE THEM UNLESS IT’S AN EMERGENCY./// (The candles were destroyed in the fires. Whether or not they were burning at both ends is not known.) HENRY… February 26th, 2011 9:13 am YOU’D BE SURPRISED WHAT WE OLD FARTS DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, WITH OR WITHOUT CANDLES, VOODOO DOCTORS, GOATS OR SHEEP. /// grandson…February 26th, 2011 12:36 pm Poor old woman, living in a one room sleezbag hotel,on Soc.Sec.& food stamps ( probably had a secret one burner hot plate,that Code Enforcement didn’t know about !!) Just try’n to survive.How many people got out & no one helped? No one cared ? Now 65% of you got nothing to do but talk about but your “pissy ass” sex !!! What a pathetic bunch of humans; some strugeling family lost thier Mom-Grandma:: May GOD forgive you ^999^..///

Miss Beatrice ,the church organist,was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea…As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it.The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. ” Miss Beatrice “, he said, pointing to the bowl, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?”
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.. Do you know, I haven’t had the flu all winter.”
Thank you Ed. Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”

Today’s entertainment is a triple repost. Pictures, with one obvious exception, are from The Library of Congress. Old people like to talk about things that were better back then. PG is going to talk about some things that are better today.
During the Vietnam war, there was talk about “back our boys in Vietnam”. In the current war in Babylon, the troops are an integrated fighting force of men and women. You do not hear these brave people referred to as “boys”.
A person who goes into combat, to kill or be killed, is not a boy. He is a man, or a woman. This is an improvement over the way things used to be. Of course, we still have wars, so mankind has not achieved perfection.
A second way society has improved is the attitude towards cigarettes. In older times, almost everyone smoked, and they lit up wherever and whenever they wanted. No one asked for permission.
Today, people routinely go outside to smoke.
Another way in which our attitudes about cigarettes is changing can be seen in the way two presidents are treated by the press. Franklin Roosevelt was never photographed with his leg braces, or struggling to walk. Many people did not know he was crippled. However, his cigarette holder was a part of his image, and he was photographed with that constantly. By contrast, has ANYONE seen a picture of Barack Obama smoking?
The election of a dark skinned man as POTUS brings us to our final issue of the day, racial ( and other) slurs. It is just not considered polite to use insulting terms that refer to race, religion, national origin, etc. etc. ( PG got an email at work once cautioning about discussing hair color) In many ways, this is like the thing with cigarettes…people have not changed the overall attitudes, they just go outside.
Political correctness can be a nuisance. The excesses are well known. However, the basic concept of having concern for the feelings of others is a good idea.





This list was found on facebook. Thank you Martin. 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from the algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6.. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head..’ 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’ 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’ 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes inverse. 22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects. 25. Why don’t sharks eat comedians? Because they taste funny.





There is a sculpture in Spain causing controversy. Created by Eugenio Merino, the work is titled ( in English) “Stairway to Heaven“. No, it does not have Jimmy Page, playing the bane of classic rock radio. It is an image of a Jew, standing on the shoulders of a Catholic, who is kneeling on the back of a Muslim. All three of the men are praying.
After writing the last sentence, PG decides to take another look to insure gender correctness. The Jew on top has a long beard. The Catholic is bald, and is wearing a priest’s outfit. The Muslim has it’s face to the ground, and could, in theory, be a woman. PG is going to take a chance, for the sake of clean writing, and call all three participants men. Like anyone really cares.
There are all sorts of implications and hidden meanings here. The Israeli embassy in Spain issued a statement, saying “The piece contains elements which are offensive for the Jews, the Israelis, and, of course, for others“. Considering the way Palestinians are treated by Israel, to say “others” is gushing with kindness.
Maybe a better word for the piece would be “Tower of Babel”. The three men are praying, presumably to the same G-d. However, they speak three different languages, and the content of their prayers is one of the reasons they fight each other so much. Maybe if they spoke the same tongue, they would understand each other better, and fight less.
PG was raised in the Jesus Worship tradition ( Jesus Worship is represented here by the Catholic priest. The division of Jesus Worship that PG is familiar with is a different one, arguably as different from Catholicism as Judaism is from Islam.) PG has become alienated from Jesus, and Jesus Worship. A casualty from this is the custom of prayer . While PG recognizes that this custom may have benefits for some people, the idea of “talking to G-d” seems silly at best, and like a huge ego trip at worst.
One thing about prayer… it is talking. There is a saying that prayer is talking to G-d, and meditation is listening. Maybe the three men in the tower would be better off if they would shut up, and listen.

This is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , and six are previously published. Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.
90-only one catch John finds out that if he becomes the President of San Lorenzo, that he will have to marry Mona. She is the most beautiful girl on the island, and the reason John came to the island. PG suspects this will not have a happy ending.
91-Mona John proposes to Mona, and they seal the deal by performing boko-maru. This is the Bokononer act of rubbing bare feet together, and is 180 degrees away from the alleged Eskimo custom of rubbing noses. In Afghanistan, there is much talk about the odd customs of the natives. The girly men of Afghanistan are greeting soldiers with kisses, and offers to braid their hair, and are rebuffed by the freaked out privates and sergeants.
92-on the poet’s celebration of his first boko maru This is a poem by Bokonon. PG is not a poetry person, although he has heard a few things lately that makes him reconsider this. He is a prose man, and deals with cons as best he can. He has never taken prozac.
93-how i almost lost my mona John did not want Mona to do boko maru with anyone except himself. Mona was upset, because this goes against the Bokononer religion. John was without religion, making him a fine fellow to PG, but a degenerate to Mona. As is traditional, the woman said that if you want me, you want my religion.
94 the highest mountain No one has ever wanted to climb Mount McCabe. This tells PG that Cat’s Cradle is a work of fiction, because if you put a huge mountain in plain Caribbean view, someone is going to want to climb it. Men are like that.
95-I see the hook While preparing this text, there is the question of whether to use capital letters, or small letters, in the chapter titles. This chapter is no different, but there is something magic about the word I. It is said to be the shortest, least important word in the language. I represents first person singular. I does not look right when it is rendered in lower case. There is nothing wrong with lower case i, and the adding a tittle to the top is terrific. For representation of the egomaniac in control of the keyboard, there is nothing like the capital I.
96-bell, book, and chicken in a hatbox We are back to all lower case in the chapter titles, doesn’t that feel better? The informality of lower case is most appropriate for this tale. e.e. cummings would agree. The action in this chapter involves a waiting room, outside the chamber with the dying dictator. A spiritual adviser is present, along with the chicken in a hatbox. This is not a new menu item at KFC. The spiritual adviser has a phd from Western Hemisphere University of the Bible. WHUB is located in Little Rock, AR. The spiritual advisor learned about WHUB through an ad in Popular Mechanics.
97-the stinking christian “Papa” Monzano is the dictator of San Lorenzo, and he is dying. He wears a necklace, with a pendant on it, that contains a bit of ice nine. In other words, he is being murdered. “Papa” is sorry that he did not kill Bokonon. He might be pleased to know that this version of Cat’s Cradlehas changed the practitioners of the outlaw religion to Bokononers. This sounds a lot like boner, which may have been the original intention of Mr. Vonnegut. Book censorship was a reality in 1959, and the postal authorities may have looked with disdain at a book about boners.
98-last rites PG was brought up in the baptist tradition, and the notion of a priest giving last rites has always seemed a bit odd. Evidently, the Bokononers feel otherwise. It doesn’t matter if the delivering official knows what they are doing. Do Catholic priests ever get last rights confused with educating alter boys?
99- dvot meet mat In the Bokononer last rites, there is a dialog between the priest and the almost departed, between the dim and the doomed. They talk about mud, or mutt in German, or mat in Island dialect. Some mud gets to be human beings, and the humans should be grateful to G-d they are not being wiped off someone’s boot. There is no mention of coffee in this ritual. Or the mudd club. The ramones had a song which went jacky was a runt, judy was a punk, they went down to the mudd club and they both got drunk. Allan Sherman has a song, which starts out, hello mudduh, hello fadduh, here i am at camp grenada.
100-down the obliette goes Frank Yesterday was the 100th anniversary of the birth of Ronald Reagan. This is thirty years after he was President. When he was running for the office, a lot of people thought he was too old. He made it through two terms, although his mental capacity was suspect by the end. There was a joke…Ronnie and Nancy go to dinner. The waiter asks Nancy what she wants, and she says a steak, cooked medium rare. The waiter askes, “What about your vegetable?” “He will have the same thing.”

Many say the best blog in America is JoeMyG-d. Big dog Joe Jervis produces a weekly feature, This Week In Holy Crimes. It is a listing of various misdeeds perpetrated by an assortment of holy people. Sometimes it is fun to click on the links, and learn more about these dirty deeds for Jesus.
The top story this week is the retired Catholic Priest in South Florida, who just can’t stay away from the little boys. Neil Doherty, 68, is in custody for  being disconnected, while under house arrest. The Church has already paid out major bucks in settlements to lawsuits, arising from his mentoring. A group called SNAP…the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests…thinks it is all terrible. The article is in the Miami Herald, and advertises the University of Miami Health Baristric Specialists.
Moving up north in the big hair region, a preacher in Geneva AL was sentenced to prison time for stealing money from his church. “The Dothan Eagle reports that a deputies took Steven McQueen into custody Wednesday. District Attorney Kirke Adams says McQueen was sentenced to serve seven and a half years in jail for three felon first-degree theft convictions. Adams says the judge split each sentence and ordered McQueen to serve 15 months in jail without probation. The sentences were ordered to be served concurrently. Adams says McQueen was convicted of stealing more than $250,000 from the Solid Rock Worship Center in Geneva.” The story is on the channel 19 website, and advertises the Point Mallard ice complex, where you can skate at Point Mallard for half off!
In North Carolina, the Triangle Business Journal is advertising American Express, and telling tales of a ponzi scheme. PMC Strategy stole $670k from investors. One of the principals is Timothy Bailey, of Monroe NC, who is said to be a Pastor. The hosting church was not named. If you like to write poetry, and want something that rhymes with bastard, try pastor.
In Chattanooga TN, Channel 12 is advertising a cooking school, that teaches “Taste of Home”. In a parked car behind a middle school, Ronnie Powe was getting a taste of a 15 year old boy. The police interrupted the party. Mr. Powe is the Youth Minister of the United Tabernacle Church of God in Christ. His father is the Senior Pastor of the facility.
With the internet creating a virtual community that crosses government boundaries, it should not be surprising that an FBI agent in Mobile AL winds up catching a man in Crittenden, KY, who posts naughty pictures of children on facebook. The man was a pastor at the Church of G-d in Dry Ridge, KY, but is no longer employed there. The Alabama website advertises a rapid results weight loss plan, where you can lose 7 pounds in 7 days. A commenter named Tinfoilhatguy said ” Sad. It can happen anywhere, not just the Catholics.”
You can’t have a roundup like this without a story from California. The Venture County Star reports a plea bargain, involving a Pastor who was involved in crooked financial affairs. Alonzo ” Lonnie” McCowan pleaded guilty to the charges, and his wife was allowed to go free. Mr. McCowan will serve a year in confinement, and make restitution to an elderly couple. Under a work furlough program, Mr. McCowan will be allowed to preach at Solid Rock Christian Center while he does time. His wife, Kimberly McCowan, says “I thank G-d for giving us strength.”
England brings the story of Lucy Adeniji. An illegal immigrant from Nigeria, Ms. Adeniji is described as a church pastor, but no church is named. She is accused of bring Nigerians into England using false passports, and then using them as servants. The immigrants are treated poorly. “The alarm was only raised when the older ‘servant’ ran from Adeniji’s Barking, east London, home in just a towel after being beaten and forced to strip and kneel down.” A commenter named “Miss Fluffy” says “Disgusting and calls herself a Christian – here is yet another reason why it has become almost impossible for Black people to enter the UK because of the behaviour of a small minority of our community.”
The Washington Post has the story of Felix Owino, a Catholic Priest, who pleaded guilty to inappropriately touching an 11 year old girl. Mr. Owino (spell check suggestion: wino) is a native of Kenya, and has taught Philosophy at Wheeling Jesuit University in West Virginia. He is reputed to have a drinking problem. When asked by the Judge to make a statement, Mr. Owino “instead prayed aloud for several minutes, saying, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, treat me like you do your highest servant. … Rescue me, G-d, my helper.” When he is released from jail, deportation is likely. The web page has a video ad for UPS, which says “we *heart* logistics”.
Pictures today were taken in Murphy Candler Park, near Atlanta, GA. When Gary Micheal Hilton lived in this area, he would walk his dogs in that park.