Chamblee54

Gertrude Walker died in 1893 at age 4 and lies in Lt. John Walker Cemetery near White Horn, Tenn. Her gravestone reads: GONE TO BE AN ANGLE John Young, who died in 1836, lies in St. Andrew’s churchyard in Staten Island, New York. His reads: THOSE THAT KNEW HIM BEST DEPLORED HIM MOST /// It is going to be a very INTERESTING weekend !!!!! /// Whiskey has been a good friend to me. /// straightener catching on fire while in use on my bangs was not in my Saturday plan. /// Judging by my Twitter feed, there are also a lot of people down there calling for the end to capitalism, nationalizing the oil companies, and lots of other interesting ideas from outer space. The bane of all movements are the fringe weirdos who hog the limelight. /// “What do we want?” SOME UNDEFINED CHANGE! “When do we want it?” EVENTUALLY! #OccupyWallStreet /// “Unless a writer is extremely old when he dies, in which case he has probably become a neglected institution, his death must always be seen as untimely. This is because a real writer is always shifting and changing and searching. The world has many labels for him, of which the most treacherous is the label of Success.” –James Baldwin /// No, I’m not avoiding you. You’re just asking too many questions. And my phone was stolen. So. /// “No one’s death comes to pass without making some impression, and those close to the deceased inherit part of the liberated soul and become richer in their humanness.” — Hermann Broch /// You know. Parrots move in. Then they want food and water. And constant attention. And conversation. And room to fly. And then they imitate all the appliances and make as much noise as possible. And then they fly all over the house, and the wind beneath their wings knocks all of your papers and tiny objects all over the floor. They seem to thrive on chaos. /// “ Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams. ” — Ralph Waldo Emerson /// independent practitioners who share a commitment to helping fellow humans create a better quality of life by facilitating therapeutic relationships based on openness and acceptance, tempered with protective and compassionate limits. /// Style, is like a frog: you can dissect the thing, but it somehow dies in the process. – Arthur Quinn /// “Have you ever considered that your intelligence may be the very thing causing your dilemma?” /// “The essence of chess is thinking about the essence of chess.” — David Bronstein /// Indiana had a sumptuary law prohibiting the smoking of cigarettes, and a showman was exhibiting a trick chimpanzee in a country town in the vicinity of South Bend. One of the tricks of this animal was to smoke a cigarette, for which he was arrested and brought before a justice of the peace. His keeper pleaded that the animal did not know that he was violating the law, but the justice solemnly replied that ignorance of the law excuses no one, and the chimpanzee was fined five dollars which his keeper paid. /// Guy in long line outside stall: Hurry up, man! Guy in stall: I can’t stop shitting on myself! Guy in line: I don’t care, just hurry the fuck up! Guy in stall: I’ve got diarrhea like crazy, guy! –Bathroom, Penn Station /// Girl #1: What did you think of Dave? Girl #2: He was the drummer, you don’t wanna date him. That’s worse than dating the goalie in soccer. –Bedford Ave /// Midwestern lady: Oh dear, what a blouse shirt. Where did you get that? German tourist: Thanks. It’s from Germany. Midwestern lady: Germany? I think I’ve heard of that designer before. Do they have a shop in New York? /// My back hurts. My neck hurts. My shoulders hurt. And every part of me that isn’t hurting is whining about the rest of me hurting. Ugh. /// #thingsthatgetmeupset when people use the wrong there, they’re, or their /// Dear friends, I have been quite ill for the last week and now things took a tirn to worse. i am in Emergency since thuesday night amd there’s still a debate on what’s the desease. If Iget out alive I’ll keeep posting. thank you for being such a great community. Love you all, Yours, Netanderthalian /// “Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess.” — Samuel Johnson /// “People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.” ~ Bob Dylan /// “The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.” ~ Oliver Wendall Holmes, Sr. /// Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy. /// My hood rats be appreciating dat the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Is a sistah to much woman fo you or is YOU dat ashamed to be a blackman? You aint nuthing but a dicrase and a hippocrate. /// Even “really good” hairpieces betray their owners when they get sweaty at a crowded party. Be advised. /// Things of greatest profit are set forth with least price. /// Envy braggeth but draweth no blood, the malicious have more mind to grip than might to cut. /// In all perfect shapes a blemish bringeth rather a liking every way to the eyes than a loathing any way to the mind. /// If I go out in New York or something with my friends, I’ll have a drink, I’m not going to lie. But my friends in college are out getting wasted and I don’t really have a desire to do that. I have sort of grown past it because I have a full-time job and responsibilities. It’s cool to have that, it makes you mature faster – Lindsay Lohan /// I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe! – Victoria Beckham /// I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young. – Cameron Diaz /// I was actually tempted to respond with “immediately at the conclusion of today” but that likely would have just led to more questions. /// I’m watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind. /// I’m basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate /// selah

PG was suffering through jury duty. After a couple of hours, the worst was over. The drive to the courthouse, the speech from the judge (two of them today), the video…it was over. There was nothing to do now but read a magazine. (The video featured Amanda Williams , the drug court judge from hell.)
A man wearing a judge’s robe stood in front of the microphone. He was a Gwinnett county judge, who was helping out with a case. (All the Dekalb county judges had to recuse themselves. The man pleaded guilty anyway.) The Gwinnett dude wanted to say thank you for your jury service, but he had a story to throw in. The judge said he later found out that the story was true.
A young man was working at King and Spalding, and his mentor was Griffin Bell. Mr. Bell was the Attorney General under Jimmy Carter, and was a big deal in legal circles. The man walked by Mr. Bell’s office one day, and saw that he was reading the fishwrapper. The young attorney knocked on the door, and asked if he could talk.
It seems like whenever a neighbor had jury duty, they would seek out the young lawyer. You’re a lawyer, they would say, do you know how to get out of jury duty? This troubled the young attorney, and he asked his mentor what he should say.
Griffin Bell slammed the fishwrapper to his desk, and steam started to come out of his ears. “Young man, this country was founded on two boxes. The ballot box and the jury box. If you don’t jump into both feet first, then you don’t belong in this country”.
It was not much longer before PG was sent home. While waiting to get out of the parking deck, the radio told of a decision by the board of pardons and paroles. They refused clemency for Troy Davis . Pictures today are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”

The United States is currently in the second longest streak of Presidents living to finish their term in office. The last POTUS to die in office was John F. Kennedy, who met his maker on November 22, 1963. In a few weeks, that will be 48 years ago.
The first President to not finish his term for mortal reasons was William Henry Harrison. He perished April 4, 1841. This was roughly 52 years after George Washington was sworn in, on April 30, 1789. If the POTUS can get through *four more years* without passing away, then America will have a new record. This will seem odd to many of a certain age, who remember the Kennedy shooting as though it happened yesterday.
On the other side of the Atlantic, a four year countdown is in progress. Victoria served as Queen of England from June 20, 1837 to January 22, 1901, or 63 years. The current monarch, Elizabeth II, began her reign February 6, 1952. This was 59 years ago. In another four years, unless her purse explodes and kills her, Elizabeth will be the longest serving ruler of England. She recently passed George III, who served 59 years. Elizabeth did not have a revolution in the colonies to concern her.

One of the digital depths that PG sinks to is a blog called Avitable. (The spell check suggestions are Inevitable, Visitable, Veritable, Editable) The perp is a Florida resident named Adam Heath Avitable. AHA is, the last time we checked, a stand up comedian. This is a humor blog. When PG last checked up on Avitable, he was promoting something called “The Avitable Pledge”. It is repeated below. PG looked at it, and agreed with most of it. There was something about dealing with bullies, which can get you mixed up in useless battles. You should never wrestle with a hog…you will get dirty, and the pig enjoys it. There is one more reason for PG to not sign TAP. Almost no one reads Chamblee54. Non spam comments are few and far between. While being thoughtful and honest are good traits, it does little good when no one is watching. If a tree falls in an empty forest, does the chain saw make a noise? This blog is always looking for text to put between the pictures. As a compromise, Chamblee54 is going to post TAP, in a rainbow font, and post pictures from The Library of Congress . It is worth what it costs you. If you feel the need to sign TAP, then, by all means go to Avitable and sign it. You will no doubt be a better person. The Avitable Pledge I am proud to have higher brain functions. I will apply critical thinking and react with clear thought when I am faced with unknown, stressful or difficult situations. I pledge to view ignorance and anonymity as weaknesses. Those who wield those traits as weapons are to be pitied but they have earned whatever punishment occurs. They do not deserve our sympathy or respect. I believe that there is no situation that cannot be approached with a sense of humor. That said, each person has at least one thing that they will never find funny or appreciate, and that’s okay. I stand up against bullying and harassment in all its forms. I will not shy away from calling out bullies and harassers in public forums, and I will not tacitly support their actions by remaining silent. I refuse to apply any standards to others that I will not apply to myself. Only by striving to be the best can I expect that from any other person. I want to see your point of view. Putting myself in your shoes can be difficult, but I will try my hardest to realize that my perspective is rarely objective. I affirm that I will be honest with you and trust you at your word. If at all possible I will avoid lying and omitting truths. There is never a good reason to lie and there are hundreds of reasons not to. If you lie to me and betray that trust, that’s not my fault. I’m an elitist condescending intellectual perverted asshole, but I manage to follow this pledge to the best of my ability. What about you? Will you take the Avitable pledge? P.S. This post originally started as a parody of the Mom Pledge, but then as I started writing it, I realized I wanted to write a sincere post. For those of you who are getting sick of my serious posts, here is a joke for you: You’ve got to hand it to midgets. No, literally. They usually can’t reach.

This is a repost from four years ago today. Some say the we won the war in Babylon. It is too late for one soldier to enjoy. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
It started out as a beautiful late summer day, but by 5:45 I was over it. This is normal, and being tired from a job is better than well rested unemployment. The traffic backed up at a key part of my ride, and I took another route the rest of the way. All in all, not the best mood, but not the worst either.
Getting home from work is the worst time of day for confrontations. I am tired, hungry, and more than a little bit crazy. I get in the house, leave the lunch dishes in the kitchen, go turn on the computer, and come back to fix a sandwich. My brother is watching the news in the room next to the kitchen. As I pull two slices of bread out of the sack, the report on the idiot box has a familiar turn. Something about the church where he was once an alter boy. But today, it was the scene of a tribute to his too short life.
It gets worse. I don’t remember the exact words, but it was a report from a soldier’s funeral in Carroll County. And it got worse and worse. Finally, I snap. I hope you are enjoying that poison. Another brave man has died in that useless war
There is plenty of anger to go around. My brother is watching the noise while I am fixing dinner. The TV station is exploiting the grief of the soldier’s family, to sell advertising. But most of all, I am boiling mad at THAT STINKING COCAINE ADDICT IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

The following conversation was performed in August of this year. It is regarding a discussion on Blogginheads.tv. It was a religion oriented chat, with an emphasis on Michele Bachmann. PG made a comment, and the fun started.
chamblee54 wrote on 08/14/2011 at 10:50 AM – 1-Ms. Bailey has the sound up way too loud. There is a lot of distortion. The good news is that her lighting is flattering, and her camera is focused. 2- The New Yorker piece had some interesting comments about Mrs. Bachmann’s “career” as a tax lawyer. Her former co workers are not kind. While people are upset about her religious opinions, maybe a look at her work ethic, and her claims about it, are in order. 3- Marcus Bachmann, judging from the article, is not a very nice man. Maybe submission means that she WILL let him use her lipstick.
chamblee54 wrote on 08/14/2011 at 11:07 AM – Quoting Ocean:” Finally the GOP has a great sense of humor! “ – – – Are they dancing the YMCA?
Quoting bkjazfan: “A Los Angeles radio talk show host, John Phillips, who shared a dinner table at an event with the Bachmanns said that Michelle’s husband makes Paul Linde look like John Wayne.” – – – We have already confused Marion Morrison with John Wayne Gacy. Maybe it is John Wayne Bobbitt we should think of.
Sulla the Dictator wrote on 08/15/2011 at 03:29 AM – Quoting chamblee54: ” Marcus Bachmann, judging from the article, is not a very nice man. Maybe submission means that she WILL let him use her lipstick”. – – –  1. It is interesting how the spouses of conservatives are not off the table. From Nancy Reagan to Cindy McCain to Marcus Bachmann.
2. I have no reason to believe Marcus Bachmann is gay. But the mean spirited left seems to believe so. I notice, though, that they take the opportunity to free themselves from PC shackles to throw a variety of insulting, “hateful”, anti-gay attacks at the guy. Just like they can make misogynistic attacks against his wife, or Sarah Palin, or Anne Coulter, or any Conservative female. The left wing commentariat is starting to resemble one of those original Star Trek dystopias/morality tales.
I suspect that if I were to make jokes about Barney Frank cross dressing, or being an effete homosexual, it wouldn’t be as ‘cute’….and in his case there’s not even a dispute.
chamblee54 wrote on 08/15/2011 at 12:08 PM – Quoting Sulla the Dictator: “1. It is interesting how the spouses of conservatives are not off the table. From Nancy Reagan to Cindy McCain to Marcus Bachmann.” – – – The comments made about Hilary Clinton during her husbands reign were horrific.
Quoting Sulla the Dictator:  “2. I have no reason to believe Marcus Bachmann is gay. But the mean spirited left seems to believe so.” – – – Mr. Bachman has mannerisms that would get him beat up in Middle School. It really doesn’t matter who he plays with. The man is a sissy. When you consider how he makes their living, then the jokes just come naturally. Mix in some of the things that his *submissive* wife says, and it is an opportunity for comedians.
badhatharry wrote on 08/15/2011 at 01:09 PM – Would you ever call an openly gay man a sissy? just wondering.
chamblee54 wrote on 08/15/2011 at 01:29 PM – Yes.
badhatharry wrote on 08/15/2011 at 01:53 PM – OK, so you’re clearly refusing to answer…fine.
chamblee54 wrote on 08/15/2011 at 02:52 PM – Just Say No.
Sulla the Dictator wrote on 08/15/2011 at 06:28 PM – Quoting chamblee54: “The comments made about Hilary Clinton during her husbands reign were horrific.” – – – And so Marcus Bachmann must pay? I think the left got pretty even with the Bush daughter jokes. Quoting chamblee54: “Mr. Bachman has mannerisms that would get him beat up in Middle School.” – – – And so the comics of the left are like playground bullies? Agreed.

The text below is Osama bin Laden’s “Letter to the American people”. It was printed in The Guardian on November 24, 2002. Formatting is by Chamblee54. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, “Permission to fight (against disbelievers) is given to those (believers) who are fought against, because they have been wronged and surely, Allah is Able to give them (believers) victory” [Quran 22:39] “Those who believe, fight in the Cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve, fight in the cause of Taghut (anything worshipped other than Allah e.g. Satan). So fight you against the friends of Satan; ever feeble is indeed the plot of Satan.”[Quran 4:76] Some American writers have published articles under the title ‘On what basis are we fighting?’ These articles have generated a number of responses, some of which adhered to the truth and were based on Islamic Law, and others which have not. Here we wanted to outline the truth – as an explanation and warning – hoping for Allah’s reward, seeking success and support from Him. While seeking Allah’s help, we form our reply based on two questions directed at the Americans: (Q1) Why are we fighting and opposing you (Q2)What are we calling you to, and what do we want from you? As for the first question: Why are we fighting and opposing you? The answer is very simple: (1) Because you attacked us and continue to attack us. (a) You attacked us in Palestine: (i) Palestine, which has sunk under military occupation for more than 80 years. The British handed over Palestine, with your help and your support, to the Jews, who have occupied it for more than 50 years; years overflowing with oppression, tyranny, crimes, killing, expulsion, destruction and devastation. The creation and continuation of Israel is one of the greatest crimes, and you are the leaders of its criminals. And of course there is no need to explain and prove the degree of American support for Israel. The creation of Israel is a crime which must be erased. Each and every person whose hands have become polluted in the contribution towards this crime must pay its*price, and pay for it heavily. (ii) It brings us both laughter and tears to see that you have not yet tired of repeating your fabricated lies that the Jews have a historical right to Palestine, as it was promised to them in the Torah. Anyone who disputes with them on this alleged fact is accused of anti-semitism. This is one of the most fallacious, widely-circulated fabrications in history. The people of Palestine are pure Arabs and original Semites. It is the Muslims who are the inheritors of Moses (peace be upon him) and the inheritors of the real Torah that has not been changed. Muslims believe in all of the Prophets, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all. If the followers of Moses have been promised a right to Palestine in the Torah, then the Muslims are the most worthy nation of this. When the Muslims conquered Palestine and drove out the Romans, Palestine and Jerusalem returned to Islaam, the religion of all the Prophets peace be upon them. Therefore, the call to a historical right to Palestine cannot be raised against the Islamic Ummah that believes in all the Prophets of Allah (peace and blessings be upon them) – and we make no distinction between them.(iii) The blood pouring out of Palestine must be equally revenged. You must know that the Palestinians do not cry alone; their women are not widowed alone; their sons are not orphaned alone. (b) You attacked us in Somalia; you supported the Russian atrocities against us in Chechnya, the Indian oppression against us in Kashmir, and the Jewish aggression against us in Lebanon. (c) Under your supervision, consent and orders, the governments of our countries which act as your agents, attack us on a daily basis; (i) These governments prevent our people from establishing the Islamic Shariah, using violence and lies to do so. (ii) These governments give us a taste of humiliation, and places us in a large prison of fear and subdual. (iii) These governments steal our Ummah’s wealth and sell them to you at a paltry price. (iv) These governments have surrendered to the Jews, and handed them most of Palestine, acknowledging the existence of their state over the dismembered limbs of their own people. (v) The removal of these governments is an obligation upon us, and a necessary step to free the Ummah, to make the Shariah the supreme law and to regain Palestine. And our fight against these governments is not separate from out fight against you. (d) You steal our wealth and oil at paltry prices because of you international influence and military threats. This theft is indeed the biggest theft ever witnessed by mankind in the history of the world. (e) Your forces occupy our countries; you spread your military bases throughout them; you corrupt our lands, and you besiege our sanctities, to protect the security of the Jews and to ensure the continuity of your pillage of our treasures. (f) You have starved the Muslims of Iraq, where children die every day. It is a wonder that more than 1.5 million Iraqi children have died as a result of your sanctions, and you did not show concern. Yet when 3000 of your people died, the entire world rises and has not yet sat down. (g) You have supported the Jews in their idea that Jerusalem is their eternal capital, and agreed to move your embassy there. With your help and under your protection, the Israelis are planning to destroy the Al-Aqsa mosque. Under the protection of your weapons, Sharon entered the Al-Aqsa mosque, to pollute it as a preparation to capture and destroy it. (2) These tragedies and calamities are only a few examples of your oppression and aggression against us. It is commanded by our religion and intellect that the oppressed have a right to return the aggression. Do not await anything from us but Jihad, resistance and revenge. Is it in any way rational to expect that after America has attacked us for more than half a century, that we will then leave her to live in security and peace?!! (3) You may then dispute that all the above does not justify aggression against civilians, for crimes they did not commit and offenses in which they did not partake: (a) This argument contradicts your continuous repetition that America is the land of freedom, and its leaders in this world. Therefore, the American people are the ones who choose their government by way of their own free will; a choice which stems from their agreement to its policies. Thus the American people have chosen, consented to, and affirmed their support for the Israeli oppression of the Palestinians, the occupation and usurpation of their land, and its continuous killing, torture, punishment and expulsion of the Palestinians. The American people have the ability and choice to refuse the policies of their Government and even to change it if they want. (b) The American people are the ones who pay the taxes which fund the planes that bomb us in Afghanistan, the tanks that strike and destroy our homes in Palestine, the armies which occupy our lands in the Arabian Gulf, and the fleets which ensure the blockade of Iraq. These tax dollars are given to Israel for it to continue to attack us and penetrate our lands. So the American people are the ones who fund the attacks against us, and they are the ones who oversee the expenditure of these monies in the way they wish, through their elected candidates. (c) Also the American army is part of the American people. It is this very same people who are shamelessly helping the Jews fight against us. (d) The American people are the ones who employ both their men and their women in the American Forces which attack us. (e) This is why the American people cannot be not innocent of all the crimes committed by the Americans and Jews against us. (f) Allah, the Almighty, legislated the permission and the option to take revenge. Thus, if we are attacked, then we have the right to attack back. Whoever has destroyed our villages and towns, then we have the right to destroy their villages and towns. Whoever has stolen our wealth, then we have the right to destroy their economy. And whoever has killed our civilians, then we have the right to kill theirs. The American Government and press still refuses to answer the question: Why did they attack us in New York and Washington? If Sharon is a man of peace in the eyes of Bush, then we are also men of peace!!! America does not understand the language of manners and principles, so we are addressing it using the language it understands.

(Q2) As for the second question that we want to answer: What are we calling you to, and what do we want from you? (1) The first thing that we are calling you to is Islam. (a) The religion of the Unification of God; of freedom from associating partners with Him, and rejection of this; of complete love of Him, the Exalted; of complete submission to His Laws; and of the discarding of all the opinions, orders, theories and religions which contradict with the religion He sent down to His Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Islam is the religion of all the prophets, and makes no distinction between them – peace be upon them all. It is to this religion that we call you; the seal of all the previous religions. It is the religion of Unification of God, sincerity, the best of manners, righteousness, mercy, honour, purity, and piety. It is the religion of showing kindness to others, establishing justice between them, granting them their rights, and defending the oppressed and the persecuted. It is the religion of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil with the hand, tongue and heart. It is the religion of Jihad in the way of Allah so that Allah’s Word and religion reign Supreme. And it is the religion of unity and agreement on the obedience to Allah, and total equality between all people, without regarding their colour, sex, or language. (b) It is the religion whose book – the Quran – will remained preserved and unchanged, after the other Divine books and messages have been changed. The Quran is the miracle until the Day of Judgment. Allah has challenged anyone to bring a book like the Quran or even ten verses like it. (2) The second thing we call you to, is to stop your oppression, lies, immorality and debauchery that has spread among you. (a) We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling’s, and trading with interest. We call you to all of this that you may be freed from that which you have become caught up in; that you may be freed from the deceptive lies that you are a great nation, that your leaders spread amongst you to conceal from you the despicable state to which you have reached. (b) It is saddening to tell you that you are the worst civilization witnessed by the history of mankind: (i) You are the nation who, rather than ruling by the Shariah of Allah in its Constitution and Laws, choose to invent your own laws as you will and desire. You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the Lord and your Creator. You flee from the embarrassing question posed to you: How is it possible for Allah the Almighty to create His creation, grant them power over all the creatures and land, grant them all the amenities of life, and then deny them that which they are most in need of: knowledge of the laws which govern their lives? (ii) You are the nation that permits Usury, which has been forbidden by all the religions. Yet you build your economy and investments on Usury. As a result of this, in all its different forms and guises, the Jews have taken control of your economy, through which they have then taken control of your media, and now control all aspects of your life making you their servants and achieving their aims at your expense; precisely what Benjamin Franklin warned you against. (iii) You are a nation that permits the production, trading and usage of intoxicants. You also permit drugs, and only forbid the trade of them, even though your nation is the largest consumer of them. (iv) You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom. You have continued to sink down this abyss from level to level until incest has spread amongst you, in the face of which neither your sense of honour nor your laws object. Who can forget your President Clinton’s immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he ‘made a mistake’, after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations? (v) You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms. The companies practice this as well, resulting in the investments becoming active and the criminals becoming rich. (vi) You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products or advertising tools calling upon customers to purchase them. You use women to serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then rant that you support the liberation of women. (vii) You are a nation that practices the trade of sex in all its forms, directly and indirectly. Giant corporations and establishments are established on this, under the name of art, entertainment, tourism and freedom, and other deceptive names you attribute to it. (viii) And because of all this, you have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of man, that you brought them AIDS as a Satanic American Invention. (xi) You have destroyed nature with your industrial waste and gases more than any other nation in history. Despite this, you refuse to sign the Kyoto agreement so that you can secure the profit of your greedy companies and*industries. (x) Your law is the law of the rich and wealthy people, who hold sway in their political parties, and fund their election campaigns with their gifts. Behind them stand the Jews, who control your policies, media and economy. (xi) That which you are singled out for in the history of mankind, is that you have used your force to destroy mankind more than any other nation in history; not to defend principles and values, but to hasten to secure your interests and profits. You who dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan, even though Japan was ready to negotiate an end to the war. How many acts of oppression, tyranny and injustice have you carried out, O callers to freedom? (xii) Let us not forget one of your major characteristics: your duality in both manners and values; your hypocrisy in manners and principles. All*manners, principles and values have two scales: one for you and one for the others.(a) The freedom and democracy that you call to is for yourselves and for white race only; as for the rest of the world, you impose upon them your monstrous, destructive policies and Governments, which you call the ‘American friends’. Yet you prevent them from establishing democracies. When the Islamic party in Algeria wanted to practice democracy and they won the election, you unleashed your agents in the Algerian army onto them, and to attack them with tanks and guns, to imprison them and torture them – a new lesson from the ‘American book  democracy’!!! (b) Your policy on prohibiting and forcibly removing weapons of mass destruction to ensure world peace: it only applies to those countries which you do not permit to possess such weapons. As for the countries you consent to, such as Israel, then they are allowed to keep and use such weapons to defend their security. Anyone else who you suspect might be manufacturing or keeping these kinds of weapons, you call them criminals and you take military action against them. (c) You are the last ones to respect the resolutions and policies of International Law, yet you claim to want to selectively punish anyone else who does the same. Israel has for more than 50 years been pushing UN resolutions and rules against the wall with the full support of America. (d) As for the war criminals which you censure and form criminal courts for – you shamelessly ask that your own are granted immunity!! However, history will not forget the war crimes that you committed against the Muslims and the rest of the world; those you have killed in Japan, Afghanistan, Somalia, Lebanon and Iraq will remain a shame that you will never be able to escape. It will suffice to remind you of your latest war crimes in Afghanistan, in which densely populated innocent civilian villages were destroyed, bombs were dropped on mosques causing the roof of the mosque to come crashing down on the heads of the Muslims praying inside. You are the ones who broke the agreement with the Mujahideen when they left Qunduz, bombing them in Jangi fort, and killing more than 1,000 of your prisoners through suffocation and thirst. Allah alone knows how many people have died by torture at the hands of you and your agents. Your planes remain in the Afghan skies, looking for anyone remotely suspicious. (e) You have claimed to be the vanguards of Human Rights, and your Ministry of Foreign affairs issues annual reports containing statistics of those countries that violate any Human Rights. However, all these things vanished when the Mujahideen hit you, and you then implemented the methods of the same documented governments that you used to curse. In America, you captured thousands the Muslims and Arabs, took them into custody with neither reason, court trial, nor even disclosing their names. You issued newer, harsher laws. What happens in Guatanamo is a historical embarrassment to America and its values, and it screams into your faces – you hypocrites, “What is the value of your signature on any agreement or treaty?” (3) What we call you to thirdly is to take an honest stance with yourselves – and I doubt you will do so – to discover that you are  nation without principles or manners, and that the values and principles to you are something which you merely demand from others, not that which you yourself must adhere to. (4) We also advise you to stop supporting Israel, and to end your support of the Indians in Kashmir, the Russians against the Chechens and to also cease supporting the Manila Government against the Muslims in Southern Philippines. (5) We also advise you to pack your luggage and get out of our lands. We desire for your goodness, guidance, and righteousness, so do not force us to send you back as cargo in coffins. (6) Sixthly, we call upon you to end your support of the corrupt leaders in our countries. Do not interfere in our politics and method of education. Leave us alone, or else expect us in New York and Washington. (7) We also call you to deal with us and interact with us on the basis of mutual interests and benefits, rather than the policies of sub dual, theft and occupation, and not to continue your policy of supporting the Jews because this will result in more disasters for you. If you fail to respond to all these conditions, then prepare for fight with the Islamic Nation. The Nation of Monotheism, that puts complete trust on Allah and fears none other than Him. The Nation which is addressed by its Quran with the words: “Do you fear them? Allah has more right that you should fear Him if you are believers. Fight against them so that Allah will punish them by your hands and disgrace them and give you victory over them and heal the breasts of believing people. And remove the anger of their (believers’) hearts. Allah accepts the repentance of whom He wills. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [Quran9:13-1] The Nation of honour and respect: “But honour, power and glory belong to Allah, and to His Messenger (Muhammad- peace be upon him) and to the believers.” [Quran 63:8] “So do not become weak (against your enemy), nor be sad, and you will be*superior ( in victory )if you are indeed (true) believers” [Quran 3:139] The Nation of Martyrdom; the Nation that desires death more than you desire life: “Think not of those who are killed in the way of Allah as dead. Nay, they are alive with their Lord, and they are being provided for. They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them from His bounty and rejoice for the sake of those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind (not yet martyred) that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve. They rejoice in a grace and a bounty from Allah, and that Allah will not waste the reward of the believers.” [Quran 3:169-171] The Nation of victory and success that Allah has promised: “It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad peace be upon him) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it victorious over all other religions even though the Polytheists hate it.” [Quran 61:9] “Allah has decreed that ‘Verily it is I and My Messengers who shall be victorious.’ Verily Allah is All-Powerful, All-Mighty.” [Quran 58:21] The Islamic Nation that was able to dismiss and destroy the previous evil Empires like yourself; the Nation that rejects your attacks, wishes to remove your evils, and is prepared to fight you. You are well aware that the Islamic Nation, from the very core of its soul, despises your haughtiness and arrogance. If the Americans refuse to listen to our advice and the goodness, guidance and righteousness that we call them to, then be aware that you will lose this Crusade Bush began, just like the other previous Crusades in which you were humiliated by the hands of the Mujahideen, fleeing to your home in great silence and disgrace. If the Americans do not respond, then their fate will be that of the Soviets who fled from Afghanistan to deal with their military defeat, political breakup, ideological downfall, and economic bankruptcy. This is our message to the Americans, as an answer to theirs. Do they now know why we fight them and over which form of ignorance, by the permission of Allah, we shall be victorious?

Today’s story is a double repost. Part is just as true today as two years ago. The other part is just as false. It is up to the reader to tell which is which.
These thoughts are for you to use. They were articulated by a man named Don Miguel Ruiz. They are called the Four Agreements. . HT to activecitizen54..
PG does not claim to live up to these ideals. Number two is especially tough for him. The main thing is to try, and to always do your best. This is not about what you believe or think, it is about what you do.
agreement 1–Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
agreement 2–Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
agreement 3–Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
agreement 4–Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell End the news she said,
“Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”
Edna replied; “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”

A facebook friend gave PG the link to a video, The Power of Parable , and set some events into motion. It did not end well.
TPOP is an interview with Peter Rollins. He says that “a parable tries to get beyond something in the head, and rupture something in the heart.” A parable is like a painting, with a different meaning every time you look at it. It should make you think, it should move and transform you. A parable ” is not giving water to those who are thirsty, it is giving them salt to make them thirsty.”
PG had been thinking of the story of The Prodigal Son , and decided to publish this story on his blog. He found the text, in Luke 15. PG’s late father was named Luke.
The story of The Prodigal Son (a phrase that does not appear in Luke 15) had long been a favorite of PG. It is about family, acceptance, forgiveness, and welcome. The disgust that PG feels for the abusive ways of Jesus worshipers does not affect his enjoyment of this story.
At about this time, PG saw a comment thread at a blog . The writer of this blog, ZSB, had butted heads with PG before. A few comments were made, including one snide remark by Frank Turk. For some reason, PG decided to send a link to The Prodigal Son , The story was about forgiveness and kindness, and PG hoped to build a bridge.
ZSB … Chamblee, I like the photos (although, as usual, they seem unlrelated to the post), am ambivalent about the video,dig the rainbow-text effect, and LOVE the words contained in the text… but what on earth does it have to do with this post or this meta? Oh, wait, I get it—you’re further showcasing how the Internet often fosters random non-sequitur-style communication. September 15, 2011 3:27 PM
chamblee54 …. 1- I did not read the complete dialog. I seldom have the patience for long discussions like this. When I saw the comment “G-d has given us a perfect bible”, I realized that this was built on a shaky foundation. I simply do not agree with that concept. 2- The story that I used is The prodigal son. It is about not giving up on people. It is about not labeling someone a troll, and ignoring everything they say. I see that as highly relevant to the dialog between Mr. Turk and myself. 3- I linked to a video in the story. It is a monolog about the value of parables. It is about taking a text and thinking about the many different meanings that it can have. This is different from calling this text the “word of G-d”, and saying that it has a literal meaning. The story of the prodigal son can have many meanings. 4- The Prodigal Son was a parable. It was a made up story, used to teach a lesson. When you call a text a literal piece of work, you contradict the nature of parables. The Prodigal Son story may have happened, or may not have. This is beside the point to the overall story. 5- The video is a song by Tom Waits. While not a direct cause and effect companion to the story, there is a connection. Whatever happens to little boys who never comb their hair? September 15, 2011 3:42 PM
ZSB … Chamblee54 said… “. [The Prodigal Son] is about not giving up on people. It is about not labeling someone a troll, and ignoring everything they say. ”
Um, no. No, a thousand times no! That is not what the Lord’s parable of the lost son is about. Look at the context. It’s about salvation. It’s about something you won’t hear because you’re tripped up by the words “God has given us a perfect Bible.” Reject it, laugh at it, spit on it, but don’t turn it into a benign little collection of nice-isms that you can live with, because, while it doesn’t harm God’s Word, it makes you look silly to do so. September 15, 2011 4:27 PM
chamblee54 … My point exactly. A parable is like a poem … it should have a different meaning every time you hear it. When you take an allegory, and call it a literal work, you are not always going to have the “correct” interpretation.
This story was written by someone. It was written many years after Jesus had his ministry. It was translated at least twice. It was copied by hand, probably more than once. It was compiled into a book by the council of nicea. This is not a copy/paste of a word document written by Jesus.
But, when someone disagrees with your view, and you have a hissy fit, then it makes YOU look silly. September 15, 2011 5:01 PM
ZSB … Okay, I’ve dealth with the tired, ill-founded claim of “twice-translated” words of Jesus, allegedly far-removed from his ministry here . And parables aren’t allegory. Fairly common rookie mistake.
And this comment thread is actually about the subject of the blogpost. Like all of my blog comment threads, it’s not about your beef (and borderline obsession) with Frank Turk.
Comment thread is now un-hijacked. i.e. all comments unrelated to the post (paticularly by those who admit to not having read it) will be deleted post-haste. That is all. September 15, 2011 5:15 PM
PG was had many ups and downs with Jesus. Some of the bad experiences were not his fault. In this case, he should have known better. You don’t discuss poetry with Jesus worshipers, at least ones who  care mostly about life after death. It is a “fairly common rookie mistake”. Jesus was spoiled for PG a while back. This visit was a reminder. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.

MG: Yes. Hey, did you know they use foreskins for replacing eyelids? JG: No they don’t. MG: Yeah, they do. JG: Come on, really? MG: You tend to look a bit cock-eyed, though. JG: I can’t believe I just walked into that one. MG: Me either. /// FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE: 1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy but remember the fuckers name. 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk /// Me, behave? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house w/7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe & had tattoos, Donald Duck didn’t wear pants, PacMan ran around 2 digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, & Shaggy & Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies (420). No wonder I’m in a 12 Step Program! /// “What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age – Sylvia Plath /// If I ever die in a tragic or horrific way, I want people to start making jokes about it immediately. Morbid, horrible jokes. It’s what I want, and if there is an afterlife then I will haunt the shit out of you for not doing that. The more offensive, the happier I would be. Remember this. /// “I have no interest in going back to anything. Not to make it better, and not to make myself feel better. My life is here and now. I will make things better here and now. I will rejoice in my life as I do so.” — Kennedy Shultz /// @almightygod: 10 years ago I was sitting on my throne, watching it all happen, doing nothing. /// Mad respect for today’s remembrances. But can we please get some unified condolence for all the innocent lives killed by American imperialism? /// “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” — Marilyn Monroe /// Pleasure to meet you yesterday. I’m continuing to pursue the dream of growing a moustache. /// I believe that injury was sustained during a clearance sale at Barney’s. I recognize that bitch and I TOLD HUH that last pair of Ferragamos had MY name on them. /// I had an uncomfortable lunch date with the model the summer after this campaign. He didn’t look as good as his profile pictures, which included this one. /// Dear friends, Please copy & paste this to your status if you are constantly being asked to copy & paste something to your status by friends who copy & paste things to their status. Many people won’t copy & paste this but my true friends will copy & paste it because you know this was copied & pasted from a dear friend in need of more crap to copy & paste. I’ll be watching to see who my true friends are!! /// Where is he Now? Down by the creek walking on water /// What exactly happens to us as a society in the next 4 years that leads to flying cars, hover boards, dustless paper, advanced de-aging treatments and simultaneously gives us shittier TV picture quality, sub par vector holograms, crappy cell phone/sunglasses headsets and gets us back to using fax machines in nearly every room of the house? I can only assume we discover cold fusion and, on the same day, a techno-organic virus wipes out at least half of all technology created after 1994. /// .I owe you my left testicle, infinite bucket of glitter, and my first born baby queerling. your hard, crazy work on ‘url’ stuff and continued dedication and support creates a better feeling than my orgasm in the alley behind that sketchy Memphis bar. /// Of course–it was a typo. Tell Facebook to allow us to edit! I didn’t have time to repost, /// “I’m not.” (yeh, it’s a real quotation from a real movie, can you guess which one?) /// “Attack life. It’s going to kill you anyway.” (Stephen Coallier) /// “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” (Helen Keller) /// Woman: What terrible weather we’re having. Oscar Wilde: Yes, but if it wasn’t for the snow, how could we believe in the immortality of the soul? Woman: What an interesting question, Mr. Wilde! But tell me exactly what you mean. Oscar Wilde: I haven’t the slightest idea. /// I thought I was knee-deep in horseshit, but it turns out we were making a killing in the fertilizer business.

It is often said that people call upon the gods when they have lost all hope, but, perhaps it is more apt to say we call upon them because we have hope– hope that they can see what we cannot, or merely hope that they will answer. /// Chapters that take this much energy to continue reading are all-ways worth their endings. /// “We who have come back, we know- the best of us did not return.” – Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” I highly recommend this book, written by a psychiatrist who experienced the Holocaust. I felt comforted that, even when life is harsh, it is still worthwhile. /// TV Culture is NOT teaching people how to communicate in a healthy way. I have seen more TV in the past few weeks here in NOLA than I have in years & am very disturbed /// If G-d Had a Wallet, there would be a picture of Tom Waits inside it. /// Oh, and by the way, every story can be told in 25 words or less. Don’t believe me? Check out this 25 word gem from a recent New York Times: In the years since 2001, neither our worst fear nor our highest hopes have been realized. But what passes for normal has exacted a price. /// Moby – who admits he has watched many adult movies in his lifetime – told Bizarre Magazine: “I’ve never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous… you know? Surely that’s intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better.” /// Religion is but a myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds. ///Ok, you dream readers: Last night I dreamed that I was doing a photo essay of Sharon Osbourne preparing large platters of hand made green farfalle in an olive oil, butter and garlic sauce and then hand feeding them to her dogs. /// You’re working with a brain, trying to find a suitable corpse in which to insert it, and suddenly the brain develops telepathic powers and starts communicating with your failed experiments. I hate it when that happens. /// 7H15 M355463 53RV35 70 PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1N6 7H1N65! 1MPR3551V3 7H1N65! 1N 7H3 B361NN1NG 17 W45 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 L1N3 Y0UR M1ND 15 R34D1N6 17 4U70M471C411Y W17H 0UT 3V3N 7H1NK1N6 4B0U7 17, B3 PR0UD! 0N1Y C34R741N P30PL3 C4N R34D 7H15. R3 P057 1F U C4N. /// “It is not human to be wise. It is much more human to err, though perhaps exceptional to err on the side of mercy. We shall be exceptional.” /// You are teaching intolerance and hate. It is your right to vocalize it, but it is still hateful and intolerant. /// Forgot to mention that I made a stop by the Clairmont Lounge last night after work and some how I ended up with a crushed PBR from Blondie. /// There is just NO good Cuban food on the Upper East Side. Sad fact. None in Denver/Boulder either. That’s how you can make your milliions? /// I am in touch with Reality, you obviously dont know! No one said not EVEN ME I’m special, you just feel threatened, offended, ticked off, bothered, and compelled to TRY to attack me! But it’s OK I’m also aware of such. I dont brag about myself, its def. not my style I Only Brag when another human Being forces me to. I’m Glad You read the Truth, and I managed to give you the Chuckles along the way! PEACE /// Jeremy decided to leave the necktie at home and go as his true self. No more dashing into phone booths to change costumes! /// Thanks for taking the time to debate this, I actually really feel strongly about it and really like studying extra on this subject. If attainable, as you acquire expertise, would you mind updating your blog with additional info? It can be extremely useful for me. /// APPLE CHALLAH COVERED IN GOAT CHEESE. I HAVE MADE IT. I WILL EAT IT. Why? Because carbs will make me sexy. /// Class, your vocabulary word of the day is “jank” /// What’s in the oven, Phillip? Why, it’s two loaves of vegan apple challah! Vegan apple challah! I didn’t know you were a vegan, Phillip! I am not, but I ran out of eggs, so I substituted flax seed and applesauce. Accidental veganity still counts, though. /// Having a meltdown every now and then is amazing for the pores. /// This is only seen by friends with Facebook’s new security choices. In the slim chance that any dishonest folks do read this, I’m the only one in this household going. At-home-all-day next-door neighbors and other security will be TIGHT. Plus there’s the “ferocious” guard dog. /// Easy writing makes tough reading /// Selah

A facebook friend recently posted an address for something called Hundreds of Proofs of G-d’s Existence. There are 666 examples. PG wonders if the thought of somebody reading all of these would be proof number 667. The list is the handiwork of Atheists of Silcon Valley. Pictures are from Little Five Points, which isevidence the G-d does not believe in providing adequate parking. This is a repost . 001 TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST (I)(1) If reason exists then G-d exists.(2) Reason exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//005 MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT(1) G-d is either necessary or unnecessary.(2) G-d is not unnecessary, therefore G-d must be necessary.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//010 MORAL ARGUMENT (II)(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.(2) That all changed once I became religious.(3) Therefore, G-d exists//014 ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE(1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it’s too complicated for you to understand. G-d exists whether you like it or not.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//016 ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF(1) If G-d exists, then I should believe in Him.(2) I believe in G-d.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//039 ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF(1) The majority of the world’s population are nonbelievers in Christianity.(2) This is just what Satan intended.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//048 ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PLASTIC DESIGN(1) Barbie dolls were created.(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//052 ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY (II)(1) How could G-d NOT exist, you bozo?(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//053 ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY(1) The Bible is true.(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.(3) The Bible says that G-d exists.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//054 ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION(1) Proof of G-d’s existence will be available when you rise bodily from your grave.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//099 ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You know what? I am offended.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//100 ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (I)(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You have my prayers.//101 ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM(1) I don’t know and you don’t know either.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//113 ARGUMENT FROM EYEWITNESS (SOMETIMES FOLLOWS OR COMBINED WITH LACK OF EYEWITNESS I)(1) Someone wrote the creation story in the Bible.(2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.(3) The only possible eyewitness was G-d.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//121 ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II)(1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.(2) I am an idiot.(3) People often point that out.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//125 ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY (altho it could probably be adapted to just about any religion)(1) Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did something nice.(2) This person was probably not lying.(3) Therefore, this person was a Christian.(4) Therefore, Christians do nice things.(5) Therefore, Christians are moral.(6) Christians believe in the Bible.(7) Therefore, the Bible is moral.(8) The Bible is G-d’s word. It says so.(9) Therefore, G-d is moral.(10) (We are just ignoring all the not-nice things that Christians may or may not have done in the past, it’s hard to trust history anyway, there are enemies of G-d working everywhere).(11) A moral G-d would be really nice.(12) Therefore, G-d exists.//128 ARGUMENT FROM WWJD(1) I have the “What Would Jesus Do?” T-shirt, bracelet, baseball hat, and shoelaces.(2) I wear them in public.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//174 ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY(1) I am stupid.(2) G-d made man in his own image.(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world.(4) G-d is omnipotent in power.(5) G-d is too stupid to do anything about these things.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//217 ARGUMENT FROM WIND  (1) You believe in wind.(2) But you can’t see it.(3) G-d’s the same way.(4) It IS TOO analogous!(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//235 ARGUMENT FROM UNICORNS(1) Unicorns don’t exist, especially invisible pink ones.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//243 ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE(1) Because.(2) Because why?(3) Because!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//250 ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS(1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that G-d exsits in a way tat’s so sure thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo rG-d exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel’l expose scinetific evidnece thatG-d eeexists then we’ll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.(2) [Atheist doesn’t bother to read it.](3) Therefore, G-d exists.//251 ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH(1) Mais pourceque j’avois déjà connu en moi très clairement que la nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; considérant que toute composition témoigne de la dépendance, et que la dépendance est manifestement un défaut, je jugeois de là que ce ne pouvoit être une perfection en Dieu d’être composé de ces deux natures, et que par conséquent il ne l’étoit pas; mais que s’il y avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point toutes parfaites, leur être devoit dépendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment. — René Descartes,Discours de la Méthode(2) How could you possibly refute that?(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//322 KARL MARX’S ARGUMENT FROM MASSIVE OPIATES(1) Got to keep the public distracted.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//355 ARGUMENT FROM SEMANTIC UNCERTAINTY(1) Atheists can’t quite agree on the exact definition of atheism.(2) Therefore all atheists are wrong.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//366 ARGUMENT FROM ANAL FRUSTRATION(1) G-d my ASS!!(2) My ass exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//400 ARGUMENT FROM PULP FICTION(1) G-d came down from heaven, and stopped those motha-fuckin’ bullets.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//401 ARGUMENT FROM VOLTAIRE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY INVENTION(1) Voltaire said, “If G-d didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”(2) I concur.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//402 ARGUMENT FROM NIETZSCHE (1) Nietzsche said, “The only excuse for G-d is that he doesn’t exist.”(2) Not true. G-d’s got PLENTY of excuses.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//403 ARGUMENT FROM FIGHT CLUB(1) We are G-d’s unwanted children.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//406 ARGUMENT FROM SOME JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES AT PERCHANCE’S DOOR (ULTRA-CONDENSED VERSION)(1) Russia was atheistic.(2) But Russia collapsed.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//407 ARGUMENT FROM 2+2=4(1) 2 +2=4(2) Think about how improbable that is.(3) If the universe were left to random chance, 2+2 would probably not equal 4.(4) Instead, it might be equal to -43, or 7,894,321,695,844, or something else.(5) Only G-d could make 2+2=4.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//419 ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM(1) I like chocolate ice cream.(2) I opened my freezer, and behold, there was chocolate ice cream in it.(3) G-d is so nice with all his little attentions!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//420 ARGUMENT FROM MISDEFINITION OF A RELIGION(1) You don’t want to be an evolutionist, do you?(2) [Atheist explains that evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion.](3) But you believe in it.(4) That means you support Social Darwinism.(5) And that’s just yucky.//(6) I don’t want to be yucky, so I can’t support evolution.(7) But I need some explanation for the origin of life.(8) [Atheist: Evolution has nothing to do with—](9) Therefore, G-d exists.//421 ARGUMENT FROM ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES(1) First of all, I’d like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.(2) [shout out to all my homies in the balcony](3) I couldn’t have done this without Jesus.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//444 ARGUMENT FROM POT(1) Everything on Earth is here for people to use.(2) Weed makes you feel really good.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//452 AUDREY MEYER’S ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE(1) Ignorance runs rampant.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//459 ARGUMENT FROM PENIS ENLARGEMENT(1) I became a born-again Christian when I was 12.(2) Since then, my penis has grown about 2 inches.(3) Hence, belief in G-d enlarges your penis.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//497 ARGUMENT FROM LIGHT SWITCH(1) My husband slowly died of cancer.(2) But the light switch in the cellar somehow started working properly again, and to my knowledge my husband hadn’t fixed it before he died.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//510 DR. LAURA’S ARGUMENT.(1) G-d either exists or doesn’t exist.(2) How can G-d not exist?(3) Whore.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//513 ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT(1) You have to respect my right to believe that G-d exists.(2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don’t have to respect your right to believe that G-d doesn’t exist.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//553 ARGUMENT FROM CLOTHING(1) Fundie: “Why do you wear clothes?”(2) Atheist: “It is cold, I like having pockets for stuff, my body isn’t too neat to look at, and most of all, I would be arrested and forced to clothe myself anyway.”(3) Fundie: “No. You wear clothes because Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden and made ashamed of their nakedness.”(4) Atheist: “What about primitive societies where the natives go bare-assed without embarrassment?”(5) Fundie: “The word of G-d hasn’t reached them.”(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//562 BILLY GRAHAM’S ARGUMENT FROM TALKING TO G-d(1) “I talked to Him this morning.”(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//579 ARGUMENT FROM AUTHORITY (CLASSIC FORMULATION)(1) G-d exists(2) Why?(3) Because we said so!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//599 LADY HOPE’S ARGUMENT FROM DARWIN(1) An American preacher said that Darwin recanted on his deathbed, and started to read the bible.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//629 ARGUMENT FROM MATH(1) A guy once tried to prove all religions true using math.(2) Math only proved that Christianity was true.(3) All other religions were proved false with math.(4) Oh shut up. That makes perfect sense.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//639 HERBERT W. ARMSTRONG’S ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE AND THE BIBLE(1) When I was young, I searched for truth.(2) Science kept changing what it called truth.(3) The Bible didn’t change what it called truth.(4) Therefore, the Bible must be true.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//652 ARGUMENT FROM FORMER NIHILISM(1) My life was empty and meaningless without G-d.(2) With G-d my life is not empty and meaningless.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//653 ARGUMENT FROM LIBERAL SPIRITUALITY(1) Not all liberals HAVE to be against religion, you know. In fact, LOTS of liberals are religious.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//666 ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION (1) G-d exists. (2) Therefore, G-d exists.//

Luke 15 1 Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them. 3 And he spake this parable unto them, saying, 4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? 5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. 7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. 8 Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? 9 And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost. 10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of G-d over one sinner that repenteth. 11 And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. 25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. 28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. 29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: 30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. 31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found. Text for today’s story is from Bible Gateway. Text formatting is by Chamblee54. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. Here is a commentary on The Power of Parable .