Chamblee54

The text today is a collection of quotes about profanity. Chamblee54 has written about these words before. The quotes today are courtesy of workinghumor,  brainyquote,  brainyquote, quotationsbook, searchquotes,  quotesea, thinkexist, goodreads. The pictures are from The Library of Congress. SOME OF THESE QUOTES CONTAIN PROFANITY!! // All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. Gordie Howe //First you learn a new language, profanity; and second you learn not to discipline your dogs when you’re mad, and that’s most of the time when you’re training dogs. Lou Schultz // For a woman to consider a financial question was shuddered over as a profanity. Victoria Woodhull // I do not use profanity in my novels. My characters all go to church. Nicholas Sparks // I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air… So I trained myself to say ‘Holy Cow’ instead. Harry Caray // I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I’m funnier without sayin’ a lot of cuss words. Chris Tucker // I’ve tried to reduce profanity but I reduced so much profanity when writing the book that I’m afraid not much could come out. Perhaps we will have to consider it simply as a profane book and hope that the next book will be less profane or perhaps more sacred. Ernest Hemingway // There was certainly less profanity in the Godfather than in the Sopranos. There was a kind of respect. It’s not that I totally agreed with it, but it was a great piece of art. Danny Aiello // Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain // We don’t do drugs, drink or use profanity. Instead we instill morals and values in my boys by raising them with a love of G-d and a love and respect for themselves and all people. I believe they will have a chance. Anita Baker // Art is permitted to survive only if it renounces the right to be different, and integrates itself into the omnipotent realm of the profane. Theodor Adorno // Every science is a profane restatement of the preceding dogmas of the religious period. Francis Parker Yockey // Half of the secular unrest and dismal, profane sadness of modern society comes from the vain ideas that every man is bound to be a critic for life. Henry Van Dyke // Hardly a name in profane history is more august than his. Hardly another character in the world’s record has made so little of its opportunities. His discovery was a blunder; his blunder was a new world; the New World is his monument. Justin Winsor // It is certain, indeed, that the sacred writers were apt to make great allowances for people with empty stomachs, and though I am well aware that the present profane ones think this very reprehensible, I venture to agree with the sacred writers. James Payn // It is incumbent upon us to understand our greatness and believe in it so that we do not cheapen and profane ourselves. Meir Kahane // Night is certainly more novel and less profane than day. Henry David Thoreau // Nowadays the rage for possession has got to such a pitch that there is nothing in the realm of nature, whether sacred or profane, out of which profit cannot be squeezed. Desiderius Erasmus // Professional managers, coaches, and players have a right to question an umpire’s decision if they do it in a professional manner. When they become personal, profane, or violent, they have crossed the line and must be dealt with accordingly. Jim Evans // The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it. George Washington // The secret thoughts of a man run over all things, holy, profane, clean, obscene, grave, and light, without shame or blame. Thomas Hobbes // War is a profane thing. Norman Schwarzkopf // “Profanity is the weapon of the witless” // “Profanity is the common crutch of the conversational cripple.” David Keuck // “When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak – probably both” // “Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully” // “If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.” Horace G. Hutchinson // “Orchestras only need to be sworn at, and a German is consequently at an advantage with them, as English profanity, except in America, has not gone beyond a limited technology of perdition.” George Bernard Shaw // Take not God’s name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. ~ Ambrose Bierce // Good authors, too, who once knew better words, Now use only four-letter words, Writing prose…. Anything goes. ~ Cole Porter // Dear G-d, There’s something I wanted to ask you… what was all that thundering and lightening about last night ?~ Dennis the Menace // He’s nice to people ‘n animals… but you oughta hear him talkin’ to a golf ball ! ~ Dennis the Menace // I don’t think a little kid should be punished for somethin’ he learned from a parrot ! ~ Dennis the Menace // If I have to sit in the corner for sayin’ it, at least you could tell me what it means ! ~ Dennis the Menace // Here is the piece. If you can’t say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment. ~ Ernest Hemingway // In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can’t say it the other way around. ~ George Carlin // Grant me some wild expressions, Heavens, or I shall burst. ~ George Farquhar // Many a man’s profanity has saved him from a nervous breakdown. ~ Henry S. Haskins // I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. ~ Jane Wagner // Cursing is invoking the assistance of a spirit to help you inflict suffering. Swearing on the other hand, is invoking, only the witness of a spirit to an statement you wish to make. ~ John Ruskin // A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment? ~ Jonathan Swift // When angry count four; when very angry, swear. ~ Mark Twain // The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way. – Mark Twain // There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It’s dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that. ~ Mark Twain // Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed. ~ Mark Twain // It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick. ~ Mark Twain // When you’re in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that’s the way my wife actually curses. She doesn’t use dirty words; she’ll literally say “asterisk, pound sign, exclamation point, the-letter-‘A’-with-a-circle-around-it, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.”) ~ Paul Reiser (Babyhood) // Ay, ay, the best terms will grow obsolete: damns have had their day. ~ Richard Sheridan // It comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. ~ William Shakespeare // “This is something I have wanted to do for a long time, … Athletes have a huge impact on so many people. Occasionally, some of them need reminding how important their example is. Frankly, we are all tired of the profanity-laced interviews and the overall perception by some that they are above the law. It is time to step up and take seriously the chance we have to make a difference for good in the lives of others.” ~ Dale Murphy // “Any upcoming artists who sing pop, R&B, or any other genre are welcome as long as there’s no profanity in the music, … We didn’t do that in the ’70s, ’60s or ’50s. And people don’t have to do it now.” ~ Gladys Knight // “This is a fifth-grade student that wants to perform a song filled with lyrics about drug use, war, abortion, gay rights and profanity.” ~ Nadine Drew // “I drink a lot of Diet Coke and belch. I’ve been known to use the f word.” Helena Bonham Carter // “Profaneness is a brutal vice. He who indulges in it is no gentleman.” Edwin Hubbel Chapin // “Nothing is greater or more fearful sacrilege than to prostitute the great name of G-d to the petulancy of an idle tongue.” Jeremy Taylor // “If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em!” — John Waters // “Play it fuckin’ loud!” — Bob Dylan // “I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullshit.” — Mel Brooks // “Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit…” — David Sedaris // “Don’t fuck with me, fellas. This cowgirl has been to the rodeo before.” — Joan Crawford // “If you can’t say Fuck, you can’t say, Fuck the government.” — Lenny Bruce // “profanity and obscenity entitle people who don’t want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you.” — Kurt Vonnegut // “Scummer, pox and wound rot!” roared Tunstall, slamming his fist down on the bed. “Gods cursed the pig-tarsed mammering craven currish beef-witted bum-licking gut-griping louts that did this to me! May every flea, leech and hookworm in all creation find and feast upon them!” — Tamora Pierce // “Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.” — Dick Cavett // “As soon as we got back I ran upstairs and told everyone the story, thus telling everyone the alarm code, thus breaking one of the Ten Commandments when I lied and said I’d keep the code a secret. As I’ve known for a long, long time now, hell is going to be totally fucking worth it.” — Sarah Royal // “I do not believe profanity has anything to do with Christianity, thank you.” — Dee Snider // “You have to be mad in the language you’re mad in.” — Chris Crutcher // “Obscenity is a notable enhancer of life and is suppressed at grave peril to the arts.” — Brendan Gill // “swearing is like perfume. used intelligently in small doses – it can enhance the meaning of a phrase. if it’s cheap and overwhelmingly applied – it can make you leave the room! kaiamaeve // “I must confess, I quite like swearing. But, like everything, try to do it in moderation. A good oath blurted out at the right time can really emphasize a message. I don’t think I know any adults who never swear, but I know many who rarely let out a good curse-word and, when they do, you know they really mean it. They make it count.” Andrew Berthoff //

PG was waiting for Uzi to come over, for their sunday afternoon adventure. PG had been meaning to write about Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of Gilligan’s Island and The Brady Bunch, who met his maker July 12, 2011. PG decided to see how much he could knock out while Uzi was coming over. (PG was starting to copy html code into the finished text when Uzi arrived.) Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
Against his better judgement, PG entered “Sherwood Schwartz” into google. Before you could say Skipper, he was on the twitter page of Tina Louise. (Ginger Grant on Gilligan’s Island) .”The official Twitter account of Tina Louise: actress, mother, friend. Still living on an island (Manhattan).” The former “Movie Star” ( and gf of Lenny Bruce) said “Sherwood Schwartz brought laughter and comfort to millions of people. Gilligan’s Island was a family. He will be in our hearts forever.” On April 18, she tweeted “Just saw Philip Monaghan’s amazing art exhibit correlating watching Gilligan’s Island to escape from the sadness of Kennedy’s assassination.”
The first post was at WFMU. “Someone gave me his home phone number a couple of months ago. I called and he was incredibly gracious with his time. He did not have to be, seeing as how I was a total stranger disturbing him at home. I would have liked to have interviewed him for a longer period of time, but an elderly throat kept him from speaking beyond forty minutes. At one point he announced with amusing self-awareness, “I don’t know if you know this, but… I’m pretty old.”
The interview itself was at Classic Television Showbiz. (This site is a dandy place to kill time.) Sherwood Schwartz wanted to be a doctor. As he tells the story, in 1938 medical schools would only admit a certain number of Jews, and he applied after the quota was full. His brother Al was working for Bob Hope, and got Sherwood a job as a writer.
After World War II, Mr. Schwartz worked on radio shows. One of his shows was “The Alan Young Show”. Jim Backus played a snobbish millionaire named Hubert Updike III. This character later took a three hour cruise, under a similar name.
Sherwood Schwartz was on the writer’s team for Red Skelton. When he was asked where he got his jokes, Mr. Skelton “pointed upward and said, “From the big man upstairs.” One night, on television, “The host, I forget who it was, asked him, “How is it that all the other big comics have gone through specials and you continue to do a half hour every single week? How is that possible?” They asked him how does he account for the fact he was the only one left. Red said, “Every week, when I get those lousy scripts from the writers I yawn. And the voice of God tells me how to fix things.” Sherwood Shwartz did not work for Red Skelton after that.
Another show created by Mr. Schwartz was It’s About Time . It had cavemen who were transplanted in modern life, and only ran one season. The star of the show was Joe E. Ross, who apparently was a piece of work. After his TV career was over, he did stand up comedy. “He died onstage while he was doing stand-up. The famous story is that he wasn’t doing too well career wise at that point. He was being paid one hundred dollars to do the show. I guess he had a heart attack in the middle of the show. After the show his wife went to collect the money and they only gave her fifty dollars – because he didn’t finish the show.”

Proverbs 29 – 1 He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. 2 When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn. 3 Whoso loveth wisdom rejoiceth his father: but he that keepeth company with harlots spendeth his substance. 4 The king by judgment establisheth the land: but he that receiveth gifts overthroweth it. 5 A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet. 6 In the transgression of an evil man there is a snare: but the righteous doth sing and rejoice. 7 The righteous considereth the cause of the poor: but the wicked regardeth not to know it. 8 Scornful men bring a city into a snare: but wise men turn away wrath. 9 If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest. 10 The bloodthirsty hate the upright: but the just seek his soul. 11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. 12 If a ruler hearken to lies, all his servants are wicked. 13 The poor and the deceitful man meet together: the LORD lighteneth both their eyes. 14 The king that faithfully judgeth the poor, his throne shall be established for ever. 15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 16 When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth: but the righteous shall see their fall. 17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. 18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. 19 A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer. 20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him. 21 He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the length. 22 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression. 23 A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit. 24 Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he heareth cursing, and bewrayeth it not. 25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. 26 Many seek the ruler’s favour; but every man’s judgment cometh from the LORD. 27 An unjust man is an abomination to the just: and he that is upright in the way is abomination to the wicked. Text courtesy of Bible Resources.Bible.com.

PG wrote a post yesterday. One of the topics was the “Siamese Twins”, James Buchanan and William Rufus King. While researching the feature, PG googled his way to a Time magazine article about the Worst Vice Presidents in American History. PG is well known for his negative attitude, and writing about the worst things in life always appeals to him. (To see the feature, you have to click through a popup ad for Amway. Good times.)
The first name on the list is Aaron Burr. He had a problem with Alexander Hamilton, and shot him dead in a duel. Elbridge Gerry (the namesake of Gerrymandering) served under James Madison for twenty months, and died. John C. Calhoun served under John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson, and managed to get Mr. Jackson so upset that Mr. Calhoun was fired.
Richard M. Johnson served under Martin Van Buren, and was bad at PR. “Johnson scandalized his colleagues by taking one of his slaves as his common-law wife; as a result, he barely garnered enough support to serve in Martin van Buren’s administration. While in office, he proposed an expedition to the North Pole so Americans could drill to the center of the Earth, believing the planet was hollow (his resolution was defeated). Evidently van Buren’s experience with Johnson soured him on vice presidents altogether — when he ran for re-election he dropped Johnson from his ticket and didn’t bother replacing him. Instead, he ran alone.”
William Rufus King was VP under Franklin Pierce a mere six weeks before he died. There is no word on the status of his relationship with James Buchanan at the time. The Time magazine article has a picture of Fernando Wood , which was mistakenly thought to be of Mr. King. (Wikipedia uses the same picture to illustrate an article about Mr. King.)
The VP under James Buchanan (there is no word on who was top or bottom in the Buchanan-King household) was John Breckinridge. During the War Between the States, he left the Union to fight for the Confederacy. Mr. Breckinridge was charged with treason after the war. “The town of Breckenridge, Colorado is named in his honor — although it altered the spelling of its name after the Civil War, so as not to be associated with a traitor.”
Andrew Johnson did not make the list, but maybe should have. He was drunk at his inauguration, and made a fool of himself. Mr. Lincoln had nothing to do with him, until a meeting on April 14. This was Good Friday. Mr. Lincoln went to the theater that night.
Johnson had been marked for death by the conspiracy, but Wilkes Booth had little confidence in the man assigned to kill Mr. Johnson. The afternoon of the assassination, Mr. Booth was at the Kirkwood House, where Mr. Johnson stayed. Mr. Booth left a note for Mr. Johnson at the desk of the hotel… “Don’t wish to disturb you. Are you at home. J. Wilkes Booth”. The idea was for the police to find the note, and implicate Mr. Johnson in the killing of Mr. Lincoln. This mini plot was spoiled by the secretary for the Vice President, who collected the mail that afternoon. He took the card with him. The secretary had met Mr. Booth a few years earlier, and thought the note was for him.
The other three Vice Presidents who took office after the boss was murdered… Chester Arthur, Theodore Roosevelt, and Lyndon Johnson… were not mentioned in the Time article. All three are mentioned in conspiracy theories about the killings that promoted them into office.
When Theodore Roosevelt was elected to a full term as President, his VP was Charles Fairbanks. “Teddy once ordered a noisy and distracting crystal chandelier removed from his office because it disturbed him. He ordered it to be installed in the office of the Vice President to keep him awake.”
Getting back to Time’s honor roll, Hannibal Hamlin was Lincoln’s first VP. Thomas A. Hendricks survived nine months under Grover Cleveland, before passing away. Thomas Marshall served two terms with Woodrow Wilson, and refused to take over the office when Mr. Wilson had a stroke. Calvin Coolidge did little while waiting for Warren Harding to die. Henry Wallace was, and will be, the only third term VP in our history. He acquired a few enemies, and was replaced by Harry Truman.
Richard Nixon was ok once he got elected, but almost managed to blow that. There were charges of financial shenanigans, and some thought he should be kicked off the ticket. After the “checkers speech”, he was on his way to stardom. (After Mr. Nixon died, PG saw a large flag flying at half staff. The flag belonged to a hamburger chain called Checkers.) When Mr. Nixon became President, his VP was Spiro Agnew. Once again, there were charges of financial shenanigans, and much, much more. While the nation wallowed in Watergate, Mr. Nixon needed a diversion. It was suddenly discovered that Mr. Agnew had taken bribes. He was pressured into resigning.
Dan Quayle was VP for George H.W. Bush. He was widely regarded as an idiot, although his damage as VP was minimal. The last VPOTUS on the list is Dick Chaney. For some reason, he was regarded as having more power than the President, George W. Bush. Mr. Chaney was said to be one of the major promoters of the wars which have damaged America so much during the last ten years.

HOW CANDIDE WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE, AND HOW HE WAS EXPELLED THENCE. In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners. His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants of the family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron’s sister, by a good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would never marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-one quarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through the injuries of time. The Baron was one of the most powerful lords in Westphalia, for his castle had not only a gate, but windows. His great hall, even, was hung with tapestry. All the dogs of his farm-yards formed a pack of hounds at need; his grooms were his huntsmen; and the curate of the village was his grand almoner. They called him “My Lord,” and laughed at all his stories.The Baron’s lady weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds, and was therefore a person of great consideration, and she did the honours of the house with a dignity that commanded still greater respect. Her daughter Cunegonde was seventeen years of age, fresh-coloured, comely, plump, and desirable. The Baron’s son seemed to be in every respect worthy of his father. The Preceptor Pangloss[1] was the oracle of the family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith of his age and character. Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. He proved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, in this best of all possible worlds, the Baron’s castle was the most magnificent of castles, and his lady the best of all possible Baronesses.“It is demonstrable,” said he, “that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles—thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings—and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and to construct castles—therefore my lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Pigs were made to be eaten—therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequently they who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they should have said all is for the best.”Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thought Miss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to tell her so. He concluded that after the happiness of being born of Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, the second degree of happiness was to be Miss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing her every day, and the fourth that of hearing Master Pangloss, the greatest philosopher of the whole province, and consequently of the whole world.One day Cunegonde, while walking near the castle, in a little wood which they called a park, saw between the bushes, Dr. Pangloss giving a lesson in experimental natural philosophy to her mother’s chamber-maid, a little brown wench, very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had a great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceived the force of the Doctor’s reasons, the effects, and the causes; she turned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desire to be learned; dreaming that she might well be a sufficient reason for young Candide, and he for her.She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said. The next day after dinner, as they went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen; Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took him innocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady’s hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed. Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh passed near the screen and beholding this cause and effect chased Candide from the castle with great kicks on the backside; Cunegonde fainted away; she was boxed on the ears by the Baroness, as soon as she came to herself; and all was consternation in this most magnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles.This is chapter one of Candide. It was written by François-Marie Arouet ( 21 November 1694 – 30 May 1778), better known by the pen name Voltaire. The text is courtesy of Project Gutenberg. Pictures are by Chamblee54.

Fun loving Dick Yarbrough is up to his old tricks. The neighbor newspaper nabbler penned a post about California education. . It seems there is a new law, in the falling into the ocean state, “that will require schools to teach at all grade levels about the historical contributions of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.” Our buddy does not think this is a good idea.
The story goes on to say “Our children will find out that President James Buchanan and Vice President William R. King were more than, shall we say, good friends,” she said coyly. I didn’t want to tell Gay that the first thing the teachers need to do is tell the students who James Buchanan is before they talk about what he did. Not many people have ever heard of him. That is because he didn’t do anything while president.” Holy historic revisionism.
To start off, The Vice Prez under Mr. Buchanan was John C. Breckinridge. Mr. King was elected to back up Franklin Pierce. Mr. King died after six weeks in office. If a President has ever bumped gooberheads with his Vice President, the walls of the White House have kept quiet about it. Those rumors about John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson are too gruesome to contemplate.
Mr. King and Mr. Buchanan lived together for a number of years. Neither was married to a female, although Mr. Buchanan had been engaged. (There is speculation that his fiance’, Ann Caroline Coleman, died of an overdose of laudanum.) There are numerous indications that Mr. King and Mr. Buchanan were *good buddies*.
Mr. Buchanan was the last President before the War Between the States. It is possible that he could not have done much to prevent that unpleasantness. Historians are not kind when talking about the man, and rank him as one of the worst Presidents. Perhaps Mr. King could have helped.
The newspaper that Mr. Yarbrough opines for is delivered, free of charge, on Wednesday. (This weeks edition has not arrived. Any connection between this late delivery and the opinions of Mr. Yarbrough, is uncertain.) Some of these free papers are not taken inside by the resident. Often, a driveway will have several weeks of free adrags left behind. Soon, the rain soaks these newsprint droppings. Some are washed into the street and run over. The result is an ugly mess.
Chamblee54 had a previous discussion with Dick Yarbrough. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. None of these players were elected Vice President.

Psalm 119 1 Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD. 2 Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart. 3 They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways. 4 Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently. 5 O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes! 6 Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments. 7 I will praise thee with uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments. 8 I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly. 9 Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. 10 With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. 11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. 12 Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes. 13 With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. 14 I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. 15 I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. 16 I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word. 17 Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live, and keep thy word. 18 Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. 19 I am a stranger in the earth: hide not thy commandments from me. 20 My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times. 21 Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which do err from thy commandments. 22 Remove from me reproach and contempt; for I have kept thy testimonies. 23 Princes also did sit and speak against me: but thy servant did meditate in thy statutes. 24 Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors. 25 My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word. 26 I have declared my ways, and thou heardest me: teach me thy statutes. 27 Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works. 28 My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word. 29 Remove from me the way of lying: and grant me thy law graciously. 30 I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me. 31 I have stuck unto thy testimonies: O LORD, put me not to shame. 32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart. 33 Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it unto the end. 34 Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart. 35 Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. 36 Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. 37 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. 38 Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear. 39 Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good. 40 Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness. 41 Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. 42 So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word. 43 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth; for I have hoped in thy judgments. 44 So shall I keep thy law continually for ever and ever. 45 And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts. 46 I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed. 47 And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved. 48 My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes. 49 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. 50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. 51 The proud have had me greatly in derision: yet have I not declined from thy law. 52 I remembered thy judgments of old, O LORD; and have comforted myself. 53 Horror hath taken hold upon me because of the wicked that forsake thy law. 54 Thy statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage. 55 I have remembered thy name, O LORD, in the night, and have kept thy law. 56 This I had, because I kept thy precepts. 57 Thou art my portion, O LORD: I have said that I would keep thy words. 58 I intreated thy favour with my whole heart: be merciful unto me according to thy word. 59 I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies. 60 I made haste, and delayed not to keep thy commandments. 61 The bands of the wicked have robbed me: but I have not forgotten thy law. 62 At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. 63 I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts. 64 The earth, O LORD, is full of thy mercy: teach me thy statutes. 65 Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O LORD, according unto thy word. 66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments. 67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. 68 Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes. 69 The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart. 70 Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law. 71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. 72 The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver. 73 Thy hands have made me and fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn thy commandments. 74 They that fear thee will be glad when they see me; because I have hoped in thy word. 75 I know, O LORD, that thy judgments are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me. 76 Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant. 77 Let thy tender mercies come unto me, that I may live: for thy law is my delight. 78 Let the proud be ashamed; for they dealt perversely with me without a cause: but I will meditate in thy precepts. 79 Let those that fear thee turn unto me, and those that have known thy testimonies. 80 Let my heart be sound in thy statutes; that I be not ashamed. 81 My soul fainteth for thy salvation: but I hope in thy word. 82 Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me? 83 For I am become like a bottle in the smoke; yet do I not forget thy statutes.

84 How many are the days of thy servant? when wilt thou execute judgment on them that persecute me? 85 The proud have digged pits for me, which are not after thy law. 86 All thy commandments are faithful: they persecute me wrongfully; help thou me. 87 They had almost consumed me upon earth; but I forsook not thy precepts. 88 Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth. 89 For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven. 90 Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abideth. 91 They continue this day according to thine ordinances: for all are thy servants. 92 Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction. 93 I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me. 94 I am thine, save me: for I have sought thy precepts. 95 The wicked have waited for me to destroy me: but I will consider thy testimonies. 96 I have seen an end of all perfection: but thy commandment is exceeding broad. 97 O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day. 98 Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. 99 I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. 100 I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts. 101 I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word. 102 I have not departed from thy judgments: for thou hast taught me. 103 How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth! 104 Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way. 105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. 106 I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgments. 107 I am afflicted very much: quicken me, O LORD, according unto thy word. 108 Accept, I beseech thee, the freewill offerings of my mouth, O LORD, and teach me thy judgments. 109 My soul is continually in my hand: yet do I not forget thy law. 110 The wicked have laid a snare for me: yet I erred not from thy precepts. 111 Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart. 112 I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end. 113 I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love. 114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. 115 Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God. 116 Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope. 117 Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually. 118 Thou hast trodden down all them that err from thy statutes: for their deceit is falsehood. 119 Thou puttest away all the wicked of the earth like dross: therefore I love thy testimonies. 120 My flesh trembleth for fear of thee; and I am afraid of thy judgments. 121 I have done judgment and justice: leave me not to mine oppressors. 122 Be surety for thy servant for good: let not the proud oppress me. 123 Mine eyes fail for thy salvation, and for the word of thy righteousness. 124 Deal with thy servant according unto thy mercy, and teach me thy statutes. 125 I am thy servant; give me understanding, that I may know thy testimonies. 126 It is time for thee, LORD, to work: for they have made void thy law. 127 Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold. 128 Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way. 129 Thy testimonies are wonderful: therefore doth my soul keep them. 130 The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. 131 I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments. 132 Look thou upon me, and be merciful unto me, as thou usest to do unto those that love thy name. 133 Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. 134 Deliver me from the oppression of man: so will I keep thy precepts. 135 Make thy face to shine upon thy servant; and teach me thy statutes. 136 Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because they keep not thy law. 137 Righteous art thou, O LORD, and upright are thy judgments. 138 Thy testimonies that thou hast commanded are righteous and very faithful. 139 My zeal hath consumed me, because mine enemies have forgotten thy words. 140 Thy word is very pure: therefore thy servant loveth it. 141 I am small and despised: yet do not I forget thy precepts. 142 Thy righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and thy law is the truth. 143 Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me: yet thy commandments are my delights. 144 The righteousness of thy testimonies is everlasting: give me understanding, and I shall live. 145 I cried with my whole heart; hear me, O LORD: I will keep thy statutes. 146 I cried unto thee; save me, and I shall keep thy testimonies. 147 I prevented the dawning of the morning, and cried: I hoped in thy word. 148 Mine eyes prevent the night watches, that I might meditate in thy word. 149 Hear my voice according unto thy loving kindness: O LORD, quicken me according to thy judgment. 150 They draw nigh that follow after mischief: they are far from thy law. 151 Thou art near, O LORD; and all thy commandments are truth. 152 Concerning thy testimonies, I have known of old that thou hast founded them for ever. 153 Consider mine affliction, and deliver me: for I do not forget thy law. 154 Plead my cause, and deliver me: quicken me according to thy word. 155 Salvation is far from the wicked: for they seek not thy statutes. 156 Great are thy tender mercies, O LORD: quicken me according to thy judgments. 157 Many are my persecutors and mine enemies; yet do I not decline from thy testimonies. 158 I beheld the transgressors, and was grieved; because they kept not thy word. 159 Consider how I love thy precepts: quicken me, O LORD, according to thy lovingkindness. 160 Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth for ever. 161 Princes have persecuted me without a cause: but my heart standeth in awe of thy word. 162 I rejoice at thy word, as one that findeth great spoil. 163 I hate and abhor lying: but thy law do I love. 164 Seven times a day do I praise thee because of thy righteous judgments. 165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. 166 LORD, I have hoped for thy salvation, and done thy commandments. 167 My soul hath kept thy testimonies; and I love them exceedingly. 168 I have kept thy precepts and thy testimonies: for all my ways are before thee. 169 Let my cry come near before thee, O LORD: give me understanding according to thy word. 170 Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word. 171 My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes. 172 My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness. 173 Let thine hand help me; for I have chosen thy precepts. 174 I have longed for thy salvation, O LORD; and thy law is my delight.175Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me. 176 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments … The text above is courtesy of Bible Reources.com. There are popup ads at this site. Pictures are Union soldiers from the War between the states. These images are from The Library of Congress

Tell me more about Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?” “Every day. I couldn’t be happy if I didn’t see him every day. He is absolutely necessary to me.” “How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for anything but your art.” “He is all my art to me now,” said the painter gravely. “I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the world’s history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also. What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me. It is not merely that I paint from him, draw from him, sketch from him. Of course, I have done all that. But he is much more to me than a model or a sitter. I won’t tell you that I am dissatisfied with what I have done of him, or that his beauty is such that art cannot express it. There is nothing that art cannot express, and I know that the work I have done, since I met Dorian Gray, is good work, is the best work of my life. But in some curious way–I wonder will you understand me?–his personality has suggested to me an entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see things differently, I think of them differently. I can now recreate life in a way that was hidden from me before. ‘A dream of form in days of thought’–who is it who says that? I forget; but it is what Dorian Gray has been to me. The merely visible presence of this lad–for he seems to me little more than a lad, though he is really over twenty–his merely visible presence–ah! I wonder can you realize all that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh school, a school that is to have in it all the passion of the romantic spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is Greek. The harmony of soul and body–how much that is! We in our madness have separated the two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is void. Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me such a huge price but which I would not part with? It is one of the best things I have ever done. And why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian Gray sat beside me. Some subtle influence passed from him to me, and for the first time in my life I saw in the plain woodland the wonder I had always looked for and always missed.” “Basil, this is extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray.” Hallward got up from the seat and walked up and down the garden. After some time he came back. “Harry,” he said, “Dorian Gray is to me simply a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is there. He is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I find him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of certain colours. That is all.” “Then why won’t you exhibit his portrait?” asked Lord Henry. “Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry–too much of myself!” “Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many editions.” “I hate them for it,” cried Hallward. “An artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them. We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. Some day I will show the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall never see my portrait of Dorian Gray.” “I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won’t argue with you. It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very fond of you?” The painter considered for a few moments. “He likes me,” he answered after a pause; “I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.” The text above is a selection from The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. The pictures were taken in Little Five Points on October 19, 2008.

Quietly, unassumingly Rumbold stepped on to the scaffold in faultless morning dress and wearing his favourite flower, the Gladiolus Cruentus. He announced his presence by that gentle Rumboldian cough which so many have tried (unsuccessfully) to imitate—short, painstaking yet withal so characteristic of the man. The arrival of the worldrenowned headsman was greeted by a roar of acclamation from the huge concourse, the viceregal ladies waving their handkerchiefs in their excitement while the even more excitable foreign delegates cheered vociferously in a medley of cries, hoch, banzai, eljen, zivio, chinchin, polla kronia, hiphip, vive, Allah, amid which the ringing evviva of the delegate of the land of song (a high double F recalling those piercingly lovely notes with which the eunuch Catalani beglamoured our greatgreatgrandmothers) was easily distinguishable. It was exactly seventeen o’clock. The signal for prayer was then promptly given by megaphone and in an instant all heads were bared, the commendatore’s patriarchal sombrero, which has been in the possession of his family since the revolution of Rienzi, being removed by his medical adviser in attendance, Dr Pippi. The learned prelate who administered the last comforts of holy religion to the hero martyr when about to pay the death penalty knelt in a most christian spirit in a pool of rainwater, his cassock above his hoary head, and offered up to the throne of grace fervent prayers of supplication. Hand by the block stood the grim figure of the executioner, his visage being concealed in a tengallon pot with two circular perforated apertures through which his eyes glowered furiously. As he awaited the fatal signal he tested the edge of his horrible weapon by honing it upon his brawny forearm or decapitated in rapid succession a flock of sheep which had been provided by the admirers of his fell but necessary office. On a handsome mahogany table near him were neatly arranged the quartering knife, the various finely tempered disembowelling appliances (specially supplied by the worldfamous firm of cutlers, Messrs John Round and Sons, Sheffield), a terra cotta saucepan for the reception of the duodenum, colon, blind intestine and appendix etc when successfully extracted and two commodious milkjugs destined to receive the most precious blood of the most precious victim. The housesteward of the amalgamated cats’ and dogs’ home was in attendance to convey these vessels when replenished to that beneficent institution. Quite an excellent repast consisting of rashers and eggs, fried steak and onions, done to a nicety, delicious hot breakfast rolls and invigorating tea had been considerately provided by the authorities for the consumption of the central figure of the tragedy who was in capital spirits when prepared for death and evinced the keenest interest in the proceedings from beginning to end but he, with an abnegation rare in these our times, rose nobly to the occasion and expressed the dying wish (immediately acceded to) that the meal should be divided in aliquot parts among the members of the sick and indigent roomkeepers’ association as a token of his regard and esteem. The nec and non plus ultra of emotion were reached when the blushing bride elect burst her way through the serried ranks of the bystanders and flung herself upon the muscular bosom of him who was about to be launched into eternity for her sake. The hero folded her willowy form in a loving embrace murmuring fondly Sheila, my own. Encouraged by this use of her christian name she kissed passionately all the various suitable areas of his person which the decencies of prison garb permitted her ardour to reach. She swore to him as they mingled the salt streams of their tears that she would ever cherish his memory, that she would never forget her hero boy who went to his death with a song on his lips as if he were but going to a hurling match in Clonturk park. She brought back to his recollection the happy days of blissful childhood together on the banks of Anna Liffey when they had indulged in the innocent pastimes of the young and, oblivious of the dreadful present, they both laughed heartily, all the spectators, including the venerable pastor, joining in the general merriment. That monster audience simply rocked with delight. But anon they were overcome with grief and clasped their hands for the last time. A fresh torrent of tears burst from their lachrymal ducts and the vast concourse of people, touched to the inmost core, broke into heartrending sobs, not the least affected being the aged prebendary himself. Big strong men, officers of the peace and genial giants of the royal Irish constabulary, were making frank use of their handkerchiefs and it is safe to say that there was not a dry eye in that record assemblage. A most romantic incident occurred when a handsome young Oxford graduate, noted for his chivalry towards the fair sex, stepped forward and, presenting his visiting card, bankbook and genealogical tree, solicited the hand of the hapless young lady, requesting her to name the day, and was accepted on the spot. Every lady in the audience was presented with a tasteful souvenir of the occasion in the shape of a skull and crossbones brooch, a timely and generous act which evoked a fresh outburst of emotion: and when the gallant young Oxonian (the bearer, by the way, of one of the most timehonoured names in Albion’s history) placed on the finger of his blushing fiancée an expensive engagement ring with emeralds set in the form of a fourleaved shamrock the excitement knew no bounds. Nay, even the ster provostmarshal, lieutenantcolonel Tomkin-Maxwell ffrenchmullan Tomlinson, who presided on the sad occasion, he who had blown a considerable number of sepoys from the cannonmouth without flinching, could not now restrain his natural emotion. With his mailed gauntlet he brushed away a furtive tear and was overheard, by those privileged burghers who happened to be in his immediate entourage, to murmur to himself in a faltering undertone:….Text is by James Joyce, from Ulysses. This public domain text is brought to you by Project Gutenberg. Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.

Tom Dispatch has an audio feature about Afghanistan, and the many unanswered questions about the war. It seems that we invaded Afghanistan to get revenge for 911, and looked for a reason later.
Tom begins the monologue by discussing the prospects for Gen. Petraeus (spell check suggestions:Petroleum, Perpetrates ), and how a success there may actually be worse than failure. If we “conquer” Afghanistan, we will hold “the fifth poorest country on earth, the second most corrupt country, the world’s premier narco state.”
At the 3:06 mark on the tape, when Tom makes the comment about narco (spell check suggestions: Narcissus) state, PG had a flash of understanding, and a possibility for the reason behind this war. This may even have been powerful enough for the powers that be to ignore the reports about a terror strike in September 2001, and passively let 911 happen.
The rumors of CIA involvement in drug trafficking are wide spread and long term. When planes went to Central America in the eighties to bring arms to the contras, they came back to the United States loaded with cocaine. There are stories of collusion with the government in Cuba. There are many, many more stories about connections between the US government and the drug trade.
When the Taliban took over Afghanistan, they cracked down on the poppy farmers. Much of the raw opium for heroin/morphine/opium is grown in Afghanistan. This was not a pleasing for the CIA.
Could it be that the real reason for our involvement in Afghanistan is to ensure the flow of narcotics into the hungry world? This would be a big cash cow for the CIA, although not enough to justify the amounts of money being spent on the conflict.
This is a repost. One part of the story that has come to light in the last year is the heroin problem in Russia. After years of “cold war” with the Soviet Union, wasting 30,000 Russians a year with narcotics might be seen as a form of revenge. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress

Andrew Sullivan had an uplifting feature, the other day, about obituaries. As is his custom, he found an article at another site, threw out a juicy quote, and moved on. It is up to Chamblee54 to provide more detail, and put up pictures for the text averse. These pictures today are from the Pleasant Hill Baptist Church cemetery.
It is a common practice to look at the obituaries (aka “Irish sports page”) first thing in the morning. If the reader is not included, then the day can proceed as normal. This custom does not take into account the possibility that you have died, and your family it too cheap to purchase a funeral notice.
The article in question is THE DEAD BEAT CLUB Ten things you don’t know about the obit biz. It starts off by saying that the family members are usually happy to help the obit scribe. They have stories about the recently deceased, like ” Eddie “Bozo” Miller boasted of regularly drinking a dozen martinis before lunch, yet he lived to age eighty-nine.”
Newspapers take different approaches to obituaries. Some assign rookies, or use the death beat as punishment for troublemakers. Others give the job to their best writer. The paid notices are usually written by family members, with the help of the undertaker.
Of course, there is the occasional oddball. Alana Baranick, obituary writer for Cleveland’s The Plain Dealer and lead author of Life on the Death Beat: A Handbook for Obituary Writers , likes to visit every municipality in the United States named Cleveland.
One oft repeated saying is that obituaries are about life, not death. As the source puts it: “The British “quality” newspapers — The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, and The Independent, substantiate the old chestnut about obituaries being about life, not death. These papers rarely mention the cause of death, focusing instead on presenting a vivid account of a lived life. American papers have an unhealthy fixation on death. It’s common for “complications of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease” or “bile duct cancer” to show up in the story’s lede, never to resurface.”
Only one obituary has won a Pulitzer prize. ” Leonard Warren, a Metropolitan Opera baritone, dropped dead mid-performance in 1960. Sanche de Gramont (who changed his name to Ted Morgan), a young rewrite man at the New York Herald Tribune, banged out the obit in under an hour and won a 1961 Pulitzer in the Local Reporting, Edition Time, category.”
There is an The International Association of Obituarists. The headquarters is in Dallas TX, presumably near a grassy knoll. They have an annual convention, which is said to be a lively affair. The 2005 conference was in Bath, England. The 2007 conference was in Alfred NY There is also the Society of Professional Obituary Writers.
IAO was founded by Carolyn Gilbert, the lady who puts the bitch in obituary. Ms. Gilbert collaborates on a page, Remembering The Passed. RTP has a series of podcasts. They require an apple app to listen, which is too much work for PG.
Death is a part of life. Every language has a word for it, and English has a number of slang expressions. An incomplete list would include : ““passed on”, “are no more”, “have ceased to be”, “expired and gone to meet their Maker”, “are bereft of life”, “have ceased to be”, “rest in peace”, “push up daisies”, “whose metabolic processes are now history”, “are off the twig”, “have kicked the bucket”, “shuffled off their mortal coil”, “run down the curtain” or “joined the Choir Invisible”
Columbia Journalism Review (Motto: Strong Press, Strong Democracy) has a feature about Obit. “Krishna Andavolu is the managing editor of Obit an online magazine intended for those interested in obituaries, epitaphs, elegies, postludes, retrospectives, grave rubbings, widow’s weeds, and other such memorabilia of expiration. Part eulogistic clearinghouse, part cultural review, Obit purports to examine life through the prism of death. Founded in 2007 by a wealthy New Jersey architect who sensed an exploitable niche after seeing a middle-aged woman distraught over the death of Captain Kangaroo, the site is a locus for enlightened morbidity.”
OM is worth a visit. The top story features a picture of Betty Ford, who survived Breast Cancer, Alcoholism, and The White House, to die at 93. The site has an ad from Newlymaid.com, with the creative suggestion to Trade In Your Old Bridesmaid Dress & Get a New Little Black Dress.
OM has a popular feature called Died on the same day. Grim reaper recruits on July 12 include Alexander Hamilton (1804), Dolly Madison (1849), Alfred Dreyfus (1935), Lon Chaney (1973), Minnie Riperton (1979), and Mr. Butch.
No google search is complete without someone trying to make money. Obituaries Professionally Written says ” … we believe in honoring a life with respect, dignity and integrity. When needed, euphemism is used liberally. “
OPW content provider Larken Bradley says “”Obituary writing is an honor, a privilege, and great fun … I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.”… After she dies she expects her obit headline will read, “Obituary Writer, Six Feet Under.”

“My books have been translated into twelve languages but I will sleep alone tonight in Tokyo raining.” ///These guidelines are very general and cannot cover every possible situation. /// “I pray that flowers and vegetables will water the 21st Century with their voices” /// PG meditates in an effort to hear what G-d thinks about this. She says the Republicans talk too much. /// “At dawn when the dew has built its tents on the grass, will you come to my grave and sprinkle bread crumbs from an enchanted kitchen?” /// Fight any instinct to be humorless, for humorlessness is the worst of all absurdities… Jean Cocteau /// “In the first kingdom of the stars, everything is always half- beautiful.” /// The sign in the department store window said Men’s pants half off,/// “He was leaving for America, often only a place in the mind.” /// Im a freak so dont ask me what i get into. /// “The only hope we have is our children and the seeds we give them and the gardens we plant together.” /// Those who practice telekinesis raise my hand. And so it goes. /// “These flowers will look into their hearts every day and see the sun reflecting like a great mirror their desire to live and be beautiful.” /// At night, these same flowers will look at the moon. They will want to drink beer. /// “I go to the public library and pour over books like intellectual catsup to gain information” /// All the condiment packages in food vendors say they contain fancy ketchup. Does plain ketchup taste any different? /// “The distances of loneliness make the fourth dimension seem like three hungry crows looking at a worm in a famine.” /// Contents are for informational purposes only. Readers are encouraged to think for themselves and act at their own risk /// “I shot the enemy planes down by holding out my arms straight from my body and running like hell, shouting: RAT-tattattattattattat!” /// “I went trough this phase last year where I pretty much ate nothing but kudzu.”/// “Let your granny gland relax a little and slow down those rocking chair secretions.” /// granny wonchta smoke some granny won’t you smoke some granny won’t you smoke some mara jew wanna /// “The dandelions are loners and pretty much stay off by themselves, but those daisies!” /// Endured the loud, nearly ceaseless self- important yapping on a cellphone by a woman in the waiting room at the Toyota dealership this morning. One call after another. Nobody could enjoy reading or anything else. An occasional call, fine. But this was horrible. /// “The returning path to my room was made comfortable by thoughts of flowers, America and Vida sleeping like a photograph” /// The vortex of irony you will create by commenting will sap the hair-care products off your stylish bed-head, and we do not want to be responsible for that. /// “It’s good to name creeks after people and then later to follow them for a while seeing what they have made of themselves.” /// When you quote people, who make a point of not reading you, there is no chance they will complain that you have stolen their words. ///”You certainly look pretty this morning. You look like a dream I’ve never had before.” ///Antidepressants can increase suicidal thoughts and behaviors in children, teens, and young adults. Suicide is a known risk of depression and some other psychiatric disorders. Call your doctor right away if you have new or worsening depression symptoms, unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. Approved only for adults 18 and over. ///”So perfect and beautiful as not to be with us, as to be alone in some different contemplation of the spirit” /// If interstate 75 was a playmate her turn ons would be: boiled peanuts, Harley Davidson’s, and orange juice. Turn offs; abortion. ///







“The awkward joy of trying to keep one lick ahead of an ice-cream cone on a hot summer day.” /// “Is life any more than a slopbucket of accident and confusion?” -Jeanette Winterson /// “Things are different at night. The houses and towns demand their beauty and get it in distant lights twinkling with incredible passion.” /// Neil Diamond thanked the LORD for the nighttime. It is not known whether she said you’re welcome./// “I spend a lot of my life interested in little things, tiny portions of reality like a pinch of spice in a very complicated recipe” /// Reality is television for doorknobs who can’t imagine a better world/// “This is a small detail right now but it could be very important a million years from now when archaeologists sift through our ruins” /// The archaeologists will be puzzled by the Big Chicken. They will not know to make a right turn. /// “When I am kissing you, I can look down on all things that are wonderful.” /// About Me: Just a normal guy here. Looking for a decent guy to settle down with…if that still exists??? Anything else you’d like to know, just ask! /// “Sand is crystal like the soul. The wind blows it away.” /// “Oh, Mona, we’re all damned fools! Some of us just have more fun with it than others!” – Armistead Maupin/// “A woman told me that she once got so sick eating a hamburger that she fell off the front porch.”/// “Bright colors are the refuge of the unlovely.” -Sophia LoRent /// “He was living the kind of hermit life kids dream about living. He was an ancient breathing statue of Huckleberry Finn.” /// “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — William Gibson /// “I sometimes think that even our digestion is a soundtrack recorded in Hollywood by the television networks.” /// Anyone who watches the commercials on the evening network news will disagree. Many people eat dinner while watching these commercials. MSM presents commercials for laxatives and preparation H while people are passing the biscuits./// “One must keep track of all the small victories.” /// A dedicated shopper will remember her mall victories. /// “Dear Pard, Your letter explains why I saw two FBI agents watching a trout stream last week. It appears to be part of their training.” /// “if everybody who needed to be caned got what he deserved then there wouldn’t be a stalk of bamboo left standing.” -Larry Lynch /// “Haiku Ambulance: A piece of green pepper fell off the wooden salad bowl: so what?” /// pigeon overhead… fertilizer on the way… attorney beware /// “I love baked apples hot and fresh from the oven with rich cream poured like the wings of an angel over them.” /// The apples would have preferred to be in a pie. No one asked. ///”We both smiled across the darkness. It comforted us as dark-night smiles have been doing for thousands of years” ///Laugh when you can…. Apologize when you should…. And let go of what you can’t change…. Love deeply and forgive quickly…. Take chances and give your everything…. Life is too short to be anything but happy…. You have to take the good with the bad…. Love what you have…. Always remember what you had…. Forgive and forget…and always remember.. that life goes on/// “We meet. We try. Nothing happens, but afterwards we are always embarrassed when we see each other. We look away.” /// The ex governor had hair.. At which you had to stare… They threw him in a box … And cut off his locks… Why should I even care?/// “She was still a little awkward, but now instead of treating it as a handicap, she treated it as a form of poetry” /// What bothers me about That last comment is that a Jesuit referenced both the Waltons and the B52s in the same paragraph./// “She is the shadow of another planet being photographed in a totally white room” /// Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news which obeys its own special laws. – Douglas Adams/// “Let us pretend that my mind is a taxi and suddenly (“What the hell’s coming off!”) you are riding in it.” /// Margaret Mitchell was always wary of taxis, but did not know why, until it was too late. /// “Lions are growing like yellow roses on the wind and we turn gracefully in the medieval garden of their roaring blossoms.” /// PREMISE: DO NOT comment at all if you think the “right way” to handle Christian disagreement is to make an appointment and chat over coffee first. /// “It’s a hard decision whether to start at the top or the bottom of a girl.” /// It is relevant whether the person in question is a top or a bottom. /// “Want to go to a cave and eat some popcorn, or would you like to saddle up a couple of goldfish and swim to Alaska?”/// The dialog above is a visit with The ghost of Richard Brautigan. The replies are from various parts of the internet, or what goes for imagination at Chamblee 54. The pictures were taken at Short Mountain Sanctuary. ///