Chamblee54

1. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE – SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
2. FOR A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT–USE THE SINK.
4. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

There is now a facebook group, “I don’t care if it offends you, I’m saying MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!”
Merry Christmas used to be a greeting of good will. It meant, I am happy that you survived the year, have a nice holiday. It was not an in your face gesture, designed to express a religious opinion.
Christmas used to be a time of peace on earth and good will towards men. There were parties, gift giving, and holiday time from school and work. The religious part has always been there, but if you wanted to ignore it you could.
Now, the Jesus Worshipers want it all. The fact that our culture is dominated by Jesus worship is not good enough, they want it all. And they don’t care if it offends you. Peace on earth and good will towards men are for weaklings.
We don’t know when Jesus was born. Some scholars say he was born in the spring, but it was a long, long time ago. When the early Christians were trying to convert the Romans, they decided to have a birthday celebration for Jesus at the time of a pagan holiday. It is the winter solstice, the time of renewal at the end of the year. It is an ideal time for a religious feast.
Many people, PG included, have been hurt by Jesus. Jesus worship is an aggressive religion, and if you don’t agree, you can expect to be insulted and humiliated. As society becomes more and more secular, the Jesus worshipers get more aggressive. Many people have come to see the birth of Jesus as something to be mourned, rather than celebrated.
PG used to enjoy saying Merry Christmas. To him, it was a greeting of good will. Now, it is taking sides in a nasty fight. Maybe the proper thing to say is have a nice day.
And now for something completely different. PG found this recently, and it is not original to him. If you really need a link to the original, we will look harder.
When I was young and impressionable, I heard the Co-Adjutor Archbishop of Bombay preach on the subject of Christmas.
He made the point that the adjective “merry” actually means “to be showing the influence of alcohol”, that is to be at least partially drunk. So to wish someone a Merry Christmas is really to wish them a Drunken Christmas.
And he went on to point out that as drunkenness is a sin, and moreover it is illegal to ply an infant with alcohol, a “merry Christmas” not only treats the birth of Christ as an occasion for sin, it also excludes the guest of honour Himself from the celebration.
That is a perversion of the meaning of Christmas — yet how often do we hear “true Christians” insist on saying “merry Christmas”? Why don’t they just wish the world happiness and joy?

While trying to find the source of the above merry quote, this popped up. Some times a full length quote is the way to go.
It’s hilariously ironic that Boggs would use a Christmas tree as a means of combating the “war on Christmas.” After all, the Christmas tree has distinctly pagan roots and stands mostly outside of Christian tradition. Indeed, there was a time when Christmas itself was a controversial subject among Christians, many of whom wanted nothing to do with a celebration that hearkened back to the pagan festivals of old (if we’re going for accuracy, the Persian god “Mithras” is the real reason for the season). If anything, Ms. Bogg’s Christmas tree has the opposite effect: it reminds me that early Christians were a fairly opportunistic bunch, and would happily co-opt pagan celebrations if it meant that they could save a few souls (see: Easter).
That aside, the yearly outrage over the “war on Christmas” reminds me of one of the things that really bothers me about contemporary conservative evangelicalism, namely, it’s tremendous hostility to religious pluralism. “Happy Holidays” is a fundamentally inclusive greeting. It’s a way of respecting non-Christian Americans and acknowledging the fact Christmas coincides with other religious holidays equally worthy of respect (like Hanukkah, for instance). When someone wishes you “Happy Holidays,” they are saying something roughly the same as this: “I’m not sure what your religious beliefs are, but whatever they are, I hope you enjoy the holiday season as much as possible.”
This is the furthest thing from “offensive” that I can imagine, and yet, there are many Christians who are apoplectic about the change. From what I can gather, the offense comes from the fact that they have to share the holiday. It’s not enough that Christmas and Christianity are in every other way privileged above other religious celebrations, no, we have to actively avoid acknowledging the existence of other religions. “Religious freedom” for them isn’t the right to practice as they see fit, it’s the “right” to banish every other religion from the public square, or something to that effect. It probably isn’t my place to say this (since I’m not the ultimate arbiter of right belief, or something), but the stunning lack of charity and understanding inherent in this approach to other religions and other people strikes me as a pretty clear-cut example of what Jesus specifically asked us not to do.

When PG got his federally delivered mail today, there was a letter for his brother, GP. The yellow envelope was from The Republican National Committee, and contained the “2009 Obama Agenda Survey”. A bold warning in the corner said “DO NOT DESTROY”. The postage corner says “non profit organization.
Inside is a letter from the RNC, Michael Steele Chairman, dated “Monday Morning”. It seems as though the survey questionnaire is registered, and the answers will be known to the RNC. “You know that the liberal media elites and the Obama-Democrats are hoping you will put this letter down and do nothing”. The phrase “Obama Democrats” is used liberally.
At the top of page three, we find out that “one thing Obama and the Democrats have is lots of money”. As could be predicted, the Rebublicans want money as well. The last part of the survey is a form for donating money, either by check, credit card, or internet. It is helpfully noted that contributions from corporations or foreign nationals are prohibited.
As a public service, this blog is going to reproduce the questionnaire of the 2009 Obama Agenda Survey. The fifteen statements were followed by three options, yes, no, and no opinion.
01- Do you agree with Barack Obama’s budget plan that will lead to a $23.1 trillion national debt over the next ten years?
02- Do you believe the federal government has gone too far in bailing out failing banks, insurance companies and the auto industry?
03- Do you support amnesty for illegal immigrants?
04- Should English be the official language of the United States?
05- Are you in favor of granting retroactive Social Security eligibility to illegal immigrants who gain U.S. citizenship through an amnesty program?
06- Are you in favor of the expanded welfare benefits and unlimited eligibility (no time, education or work requirements) that Democrats in Congress are pushing to pass?
07- Do you believe that Barack Obama’s nominees for federal courts should be immediately and unquestionably approved for their lifetime appointments by the U.S. Senate?
08- Do you believe that the best way to increase the quality and effectiveness of public education in the U.S. is to rapidly expand federal funding while eliminating performance standards and accountability?
09- Do you support the creation of a national health insurance plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, D.C.?
10- Do you believe that the quality and availability of healthcare will increase if the federal government dictates pricing to doctors and hospitals?
11- Are you confident that new medicines and medical treatments will continue to be developed if the federal government controls prescription drug prices and sets profit margins for research and pharmaceutical companies?
12- Are you in favor of creating a government-funded “Citizen Volunteer Corps” that would pay young people to do work now done by churches and charities, earning Corps Members the same pay and benefits given to military veterans?
13- Are you in favor of reinstituting the military draft, as Democrats in Congress have proposed?
14- Do you believe that the federal government should allow the unionization of Department of Homeland Security employees who serve in positions critical to the safety and security of our nation?
15- Do you support Democrats’ drive to eliminate workers’ right to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment?

The Republicans in the Georgia State Lesterslature have been making quite a spectacle recently. They have succeeded in making people pay attention to their antics, which in Georgia is an accomplishment.
It was reasonably common knowledge that House Speaker Glenn Richardson was a crook and a philanderer. This was ignored by most of the state. That changed one night, when he took a few pills, and called his mother to say he was ending it all. 911 got to his house in time to “save” him, but the story got into the press.
Before long, his ex wife gave an interview on TV, where she said a bunch of rude things about him, and had emails and text messages for proof. One thing the ex wife mentioned was a girlfriend the speaker had, while the speaker was still a married man. The gf was a lobbyist for a utility. The speaker had sponsored a bill very favorable to the utility, while the speaker was sleeping with the lobbyist, who represented the utility. People began to connect the dots.
Pretty soon, stories of other lesterslaters who where crooks and philanderers started to emerge. The fact was that many were Republicans, who called themselves Christian conservatives. They pushed through a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, saying that they were defending the sanctity of marriage. Their girlfriends agreed that this was a good thing to do.
The speaker has resigned his job, and if he had a family, he would be spending more time with it. The rest of the Repubs are in a quandary about what to do. It is like the scene in “Blazing Saddles” where the man wants us to keep our phoney baloney jobs.
One lesterslater, Chuck Martin, wants to elect the new House of Representatives leadership in an open vote, away from the back room deal making. ( They used to call those smoke filled rooms, but in these modern times it is probably a smoke filled parking lot.) Another representative, Wendell Williard, does not like this idea.
“I am vehemently opposed to this concept for choosing our next Speaker.It would set a dangerous and unnecessary precedent….The Republican Party has earned an electoral majority from Georgia voters. Martin’s initiative would open the door for a liberal who is a Republican in name only to win the Speaker ship with the support of Democrats. This would circumvent the electoral wishes of Georgia voters over the last five years.”
HT to Peach Pundit for this story. In the comment thread to that post, “Macho” noted
“You have the open vote in the Caucus ahead of time. Why would you open it up to the Democrats, it makes no sense. You’ve got a lot of people on here looking to destroy everything, just for the sake of destroying it.
One of the most common complaints, which I agree with, is, “The leadership forgot their Republican values and became a bunch of egomaniacal narcissists.” How is opening up the floor to negotiating with Stephanie Stuckey, Kathy Ashe and Tyrone Brooks going to encourage traditional Conservative initiatives.”
PG is an independent voter, who feels that liberal and conservative are meaningless labels. He also feels that being “a bunch of egomaniacal narcissists” is Republican values.
The photographs of Glenn Richardson were taken at a campaign party for Jill Chambers August 9, 2008. Mrs. Chambers has not been implicated in the current wave of scandals.

A blond went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She asked the clerk for fifty Christmas stamps. The clerk asked, ‘What denomination?’ The blond exclaimed ‘God help us, Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptist!’ Thank you blackcordelias.
Speaking of blond jokes, here is more evidence that global warming is real. Thank you Scent.
PG got an email with a slide show yesterday. The show was about the holocaust, and how we need to remember it. The last slide encouraged you to spread the message, and to translate if necessary. PG is tempted to make a snarky translation, but agrees with the essential message of the slide show. The devil is in the details.
There are a few corrections that should be made. The show opens with a picture of General/President Dwight Eisenhower. It seems like General Eisenhower wanted pictures to be made of the concentration camps, as they were liberated. The story goes “On April 4, 1945, elements of the United States Army’s 89th Infantry Division and the 4th Armored Division captured the Ohrdruf concentration camp outside the town of Gotha in south central Germany.” The General wanted people to see what was going on, and pictures to be taken. The exact quote ( which is rather different from the slide show) was “I made the visit deliberately, in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to ‘propaganda.’”
Shortly after this slide, the following statement appears “Recently “The United Kingdom” erased the holocaust from the british school curriculum because it offended “the muslim population beliefs” that the holocaust never took place. Yes, the united kingdom…” According to at least two sources, this simply is not true. PG wonders why a red herring like this was inserted into a presentation about truth and memory.
Later in the slide show, Iran was portrayed as being a nation of holocaust deniers. As the recent street demonstrations in Iran might indicate, the people of that country do not always agree with their leaders. Some are proposing a nuclear attack on Iran. This would result in millions of these brave people dying.
One of the other slides had a time honored quote from Edmund Burke… “All that is needed for evil to succeed is that decent human beings do nothing”.

PG got an email today from Allen Hunt, a radio announcer. The letter had a Christmas message. PG read the story, and heard the ding ding ding of his BS detector. Here is the story.
Merry Christmas! As the wars about the public celebration of Christmas become filled with pettiness and hostility on all sides, be not dismayed. Your celebration of Christmas depends solely on you and nobody else. I heard the story of Oswald Goulter years ago and it reminds me of that simple fact. I am responsible for how I embrace the gift of Christmas.
Oswald Goulter served as an agri-missionary to China. On his way back to the USA for furlough during World War II. His sponsor mission agency gave him a ticket to get home by boat. When Oswald arrived in the port of India, New Delhi, he found boats filled with Jews, housed there to protect their lives from Nazi Germany. The Jewish boats couldn’t land anywhere. They were not accepted or welcome anywhere at the time
Oswald went to see them and said, “Merry Christmas!”
“We’re Jewish,” they responded.
“I know, I know. But what would you like for Christmas. Merry Christmas!”
“Don’t you understand? We are JEWISH.”
“Merry Christmas. What do you want?”
To get rid of this nuisance, they said, “How about some German pastry? That sure would be grand.”
Oswald scoured the city until he found a bakery that made German pastry. Oswald sold his ticket for home to get money to purchase some pastry. He went back to the boat and shared it with them.
As he spoke about this experience later in one of his supporting churches, a very prim member of the congregation stood and asked, “Why did you do that? They were Jewish. They don’t even believe in Jesus.”
“I know,” Oswald replied, “but I do.”
PG sent a reply to the original email. This post is being written an hour later, so it is not unreasonable that Mr. Hunt has not replied.
Allen do you have any proof that Oswald Goulter existed? This story seems a bit far fetched. I googled Oswald Goulter, and all I see is the same story told over and over.
Why did he go to India? This is over the Himalayan mountains, or around Vietnam. Couldn’t he do just as well in North Asia, or even Russia?
When did this incident happen? There are mixed indications in the versions I read, and no exact dates. If this was after WW2, then maybe the restrictions about admitting Jews would start to loosen up.
Why German pastries? After all that the German people had done to them, this seems a bit strange.
There are hundreds of real, verifiable Christmas stories out there. This one seems a bit fishy.
After sending the email, PG hunkered down in the google.(Snopes never heard of Oswald Goulter) It seems that Oswald John Goulter was born June 22, 1890 in Oklahoma. He died in March 1985, in Santa Clara California. He was interviewed in 1971 as part of a project involving missionaries to China. “This interview supplements the account of Goulter’s life in Wilfred Powell’s Scattered Seed. Mr. Goulter portrays the disruption in Chinese life in the area of Lu-chou (Hofei) in Anhwei province during the years 1922 to 1951. He tells how the Communists were able to take advantage of the disorder caused by warlords and bandits and the Japanese invasion to drive the nationalists from power. He also discusses his conception of practical Christianity and its applicability in China.”
There is another story about Mr. Goulter. After the communist takeover, Mr. Goulter and his wife, Irene, were taken into custody. Mr. Goulter was beaten repeatedly, but refused to renounce his faith. Finally he was released (or, in some versions, escaped). This imprisonment is generally agreed to be three years long, and if he left in 1951, that would be consistent with the time line of the communist takeover.
In the Hunt version of the story, Oswald Goulter left during World War 2.
This does not answer the question of why Mr. Goulter would go to India, before America. It also does not account for the appearance of the Jews in India, six years after the end of World War 2. It should also be noted that India was in chaos, with the advent of Independence and the partition. Would they have Jews hiding in the city?
There is a book about Oswald Goulter, “Scattered Seed; the story of the Oswald Goulters, missionaries in China 1922-51 “. PG does not know if it discusses German pastries.

There is one less man on death row in Georgia. The state did not even have to cook a last meal.
Timothy Woodrow Pruitt tried to hang himself on November 19. He died on December 6. ( PG is puzzled why it would take 17 days for a botched suicide to have the desired effect). When announcing his demise, the Department of Corrections referred to an “alleged suicide attempt” that is under investigation.
Mr. Pruitt was convicted of stabbing and strangling a ten year old girl who lived next door. More details are here.
By remarkable coincidence, another gruesome murder involving a young girl was *allegedly* committed by a man named Pruitt. As the Augusta Chronicle tells the tale “Mark Anthony Pruitt, 32, was sentenced to death in September 1987 in Pulaski County for the Montgomery County killing of 5-year-old Charise Walker. The girl was found raped, sodomized and beaten Nov. 15, 1986, when she disappeared from home. Charise, who’s skull was fractured and leg broken, died a short time later. Mr. Pruitt was seen coming out of the woods where Charise was found. He wasn’t wearing any pants and had blood on him. Mr. Pruitt has been awaiting a new sentencing trial on the issue of mental retardation since September 1994.”
More details are here, if you really want to know. Mark Anthony Pruitt was originally sentenced to death. His sentence has been modified to life in prison without parole.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish. This holiday wish does not represent the views of and is not endorsed by this website, webmaster or any affiliated subsidiaries thereof.
The information transmitted is intended solely for the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain confidential and/or privileged material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of or taking action in reliance upon this information by persons or entities other than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you have received this email in error please contact the sender and delete the material from any computer. E-Mail is not a secure medium and should not be used to communicate confidential or personal information.
This greeting is borrowed from JoemyG-d, who received it from “Scott”.

Representatives from nations around the world are meeting this week in Copenhagen to discuss global warming. There is reason to believe that whatever comes out of this meeting will be a compromise, and will not have any effect on the problem.
Some do not think there is a problem. The science ( which PG does not claim to understand) involves millions of factors. One of the indications of the “climategate” controversy is the vast amount of data involved, and the difficulties of processing this information.
When you believe that there is no problem, and that global warming is a scam designed to weaken capitalist countries, you believe what you want to believe.
TomDispatch posted a feature today from the pessimist side. A money quote “The best human analog to the role physics is playing here may be fascism in the middle of the last century. There was no appeasing it, no making a normal political issue out of it. You had to decide to go all in, to transform the industrial base of the country to fight it, to put other things on hold, to demand sacrifice.”
Sixty Eight years ago today, Japan attacked the United States. It was a before and after moment, and America was committed, overnight, to the struggle against Japan and Germany. We did win, at an appalling cost. ( Included in this cost were hundreds of thousands of civilian casualties, and Communist domination of East Europe.)
Even if…a big if…we were to make this sort of commitment to fight global warming, there will be a cost. The energy happy lifestyle so cherished by the west may be a thing of the past. It is easier to make jokes on talk radio.

At some point in the magic book, Jesus tells a story. They call it a parable, which means it is a made up story, with a lesson attached.
In this story, a man asks his father for his inheritance in advance. The man takes this wealth and blows it on wild living. Before long, the money runs out, and the man is in bad shape. He humbly goes back to his father, who says this is my son who has returned, but a ring on his finger. The father has a celebration for the return of his son. (PG is not a magic book scholar, and may have a few details out of place. The gist of the story is intact.)
As this story is being written, there is a football game at the Georgia Dome. A hotel motel tax pays for the facility, and beer commercials on tv pay for the players. Today, the visiting team is the Philadelphia Eagles. Number Seven for the Eagles is Mike Vick.
Mike Vick used to play for the local team, the Falcons. The owner of the Falcons is a former merchant named Rankin Blank. Mike Vick was the most exciting player in recent memory, and Rankin Blank rewarded him handsomely.
Mike Vick did not blow his wealth on fancy living, although there were some high times. Instead, Mr. Vick decided to raise dogs.These animals kill each other, as a spectator sport. Mr.Vick got caught, went to prison, left the Falcons and joined the Eagles.
Today the Prodigal Son returned to Rankin Blank, who did not put a ring on Mike Vick’s finger. In the NFL, you have to earn your ring, and it is likely to be a long time before Rankin Blank earns a ring.
Mike Vick did score a touchdown, and throw a touchdown pass. The Falcons probably will not have a winning season this year.

Dictionary says pro is the opposite of con.
Will Rogers said the opposite of progress is congress.
Is the opposite of a protest, a contest?
Is the opposite of a profession, a confession?
Is it profound that this would confound?
It is a profusion of confusion.

PG was looking for something to write about, and saw lots of options. The Georgia Republican party is in moral free fall. The debate on climate change was resisting easy answers. PG decided to edit some pictures, when he saw a bumper sticker…”Those who forget Vietnam are condemned to repeat it”.
PG was in grammar school during the escalation of that undeclared war. As the mood of the nation turned against the war, PG moved on to high school. The “Peace with Honor” agreement was signed before he got a draft lottery number.
There was a lot of bitter debate about Vietnam. As the light at the end of the tunnel got dimmer and dimmer, it became obvious that there were no good choices. It is a lot easier to start a war than it is to end one.
Listening to the talk today, and comparing it to what he heard forty years ago, PG wonders if it was the same war. “The only reason we lost in Vietnam is because they wouldn’t let our troops win”. How many more of our men would have died, and how many more Vietnamese would have died, if “they” would have “let our troops win”? And what would victory have looked like? As it stands now, 58,000 American soldiers ( a substantial percentage of whom were drafted) died, as well as untold millions of Vietnamese men, women, and children.
The reason many today do not remember Vietnam was because they never knew it to begin with. Much of what was told in the press was lies. Much of what has been repeated is filtered through layers of rhetoric. And now, we find ourselves in two wars.
BHO was born in 1961. From 1967 to 1971, he lived in Indonesia. ( Which is closer to Vietnam than Hawaii). What he heard about the war is probably in one of his books. The point is, BHO has not forgotten Vietnam, because he probably did not know much. BHO is now sending 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan.
George W. Bush made the initial commitments to Afghanistan and Iraq. He was in the Texas Air National Guard during Vietnam. In that war, men were drafted into service. You were told that either you went onto the service, or you went to jail. One of the alternatives to active duty was the National Guard.
George W. Bush did not go to Vietnam, unlike Al Gore and John Kerry. Did he knew enough, about Vietnam to forget ?