Chamblee54

Chamblee54 has done free publicity for two pallets of product, Sarah Palin and Kayne West. In order to complete the trilogy, it is time to move to the ultimate media product: Jesus.
PG has come to know Jesus through the words and deeds of his believers. It is not pretty, unlike Mrs. Palin or Mr. West. PG feels that there is a distinct difference between the spirit named Jesus, which is so loudly touted, and the man who probably lived in Palestine two thousand years ago. The two critters…the contemporary spirit Jesus, and the Historic Jesus…have little in common beyond the name. This post will focus on the Spirit Jesus, which is shoved in PG’s face on a daily basis.
Not that the historic Jesus…as he is described by the Bible…is without blame. Someone disliked him enough to have him killed. Maybe if he had been better at PR, he could have lived longer and taught more. Anyone who would say “I am the way the truth and the light. No one can come to the father but through me ” is an egomaniac.
The spirit Jesus is a relentless seeker of attention. The cult of Jesus Worship is based on getting non believers to agree to certain ideas. These ideas involve life after death, and the execution of Jesus. These ideas are expressed constantly, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with them, you are going to hear them again and again. Jesus Worshipers seem to think that the louder they repeat these ideas, the more true they become. It is like a dog who will not quit barking.
Anyone can talk about Jesus. Not everyone that does so has good motives. It is necessary for the listener to trust the speaker. When a man speaks about Jesus without trust, he is speaking in vain. When a man talks about Jesus out of anger, he is speaking in vain. This is what the Third Commandment is referring to.
PG would like to never hear the word Jesus again. He would settle for one day, but even that is too much to ask of the Jesus Worshipers.

PG used to have a job making local deliveries in Marietta. He often found himself behind a red light next to the Big Chicken. The Big Chicken is his friend. One day PG discovered that he could talk to G-d while waiting for the light to change by the Big Chicken. So G dude, whatever happened to that boy of yours. Man, I wish I had never met Mary. That boy was more trouble than you can imagine. He did seem to have a mouth on him. Hey, just one thing before the light changes. The Jesus Worshipers seem to think it was the Jews who offed Jboi NO NO NO. It was the Romans. They ran the show, and then they wrote the history to blame the Jews Figures But the Jews screwed up too. When Jboi finally died, I knew he was going to try to pull something. I told the Jews to put two boulders in front of the cave. Two. That way he was going to stay in that stinking cave, and I wouldn\’t have to hear his whining any more. But the Jews thought they could save money, and only used one boulder The car behind PG was honking. The light had turned green.

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘Beer’.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large kegs. ‘Beer’. is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of ‘Beer’  and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several applications of ‘Beer’, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with women to whom they would never normally be attracted. Men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’ . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after ‘Beer’ is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this ‘Beer’ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’
‘Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, ‘Brother have you found Jesus?’
The drunk replies, ‘No, I haven’t.’ The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time.. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found Jesus, my brother?’
The drunk again answers, ‘No, I have not found Jesus.’
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, ‘For the love of God, have you found Jesus?’
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, ‘Are you sure this is where he fell in?’

PG is a recovering Baptist. However, he was never baptized.
The Baptists like to pressure pre adolescent children into making a “Profession of Faith”. Every Sunday, the mob would sing “Just as I am” and the kids would walk down the aisle, shake the preachers hand, and be recruited into the Baptist way of life.
Every few weeks, the Church would fire up the Baptismal pool, and go to work. The house lights would dim, and the young Baptists were dunked in the pool.
A while back, the wiring was carelessly installed in a Baptist building. The Preacher was electrocuted when he used the microphone in the Baptismal Facility.
Now, the British have an answer. The Church of England goes for infant baptism, using the civilized sprinkle on the noggin. This is too much for some, who object to the symbolic indoctrination into the cult of Jesus Worship, made before a person is eating solid food. The Answer is “Certificate of Debaptism”.
The certificate is the work of the National Secular Society, which suggests hanging it in the loo. The various churches involved thus far decline to remove the baptized from any church records. The certificate is purely symbolic.
HT to JoeMyG-d.

It is fat tuesday again. For someone who lived most of his life in Georgia, it is just another day.
In 1990, PG went to carnival. He rented sleeping bag space in a house on Marigny Street, just outside the quarter. It was like nothing he had ever seen.
This was 14 months after PG quit drinking. If he had life to do over, he would have gone to Mardi Gras first. He did feel good about going through that much drinking without being tempted to participate.
Truth be told, he was getting tired of the whole shebang by the end of the Rex Parade. Mob scenes of drunks in costume can get old, and PG has not been back.
Two years later, the Grateful Dead was playing at the Omni, and the camp followers were in the parking lot. PG would go on his lunch hour and observe. A young lady walked by, and PG said Happy Mardi Gras. She gave him a string of beads.
Five years after that, PG had a boss from New Orleans. He was not a nice man, and looked like the Grinch who stole Christmas. He also hated Mardi Gras. PG did not know this, and greeted him Tuesday morning with a cheerful Happy Mardi Gras. If looks could kill, PG would have dropped dead.

PG has long suspected that people will believe anything you say, as long as it is the result of a survey or study. Just ask Miss Teen Age South Carolina. More evidence was released Friday. The Harris poll released a study of who is the most admired person in America.
People were not shown a list of names. They were asked to say who came to mind when asked ” “Now I’d like to ask you some questions about heroes. First of all, please tell me who you admire enough to call a hero?” (UP TO THREE ANSWERS)”
First place was President Barack H. Obama. He was not well known enough to be included when the survey was done in 2001. The winner in 2001 was Jesus, who snagged second place this time around. John Lennon was heard rock and rolling in his grave.
The rest of the top twenty ( with a few ties, so there are more than twenty total) are Martin Luther King, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, Abraham Lincoln, John McCain, John F. Kennedy, Chesley Sullenberger, Mother Teresa, God, Hillary Clinton ,Billy Graham, Franklin Delano Roosevelt ,Mahatma Gandhi, Colin Powell, George Washington, Bill Clinton, Condoleeza Rice, Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin ,General George S. Patton, Bill Gates.
There are five African Americans in the top twenty, and six women. No athletes made the cut, and Ronald Reagan was the only Hollywood Actor.
Perhaps Chesley Sullenberger should rank number two. All Jesus did was walk on water.
A few people were mentioned in 2001, but did not make the cut this time. They are John Wayne (was 8th), Michael Jordan (was 9th), John Glenn (was 11th), Norman Schwartzkopf(was 12th), Princess Diana (was 16th), Dwight Eisenhower (was 17th), Pope John Paul (was 18th),Jimmy Carter (was 20th), Nelson Mandela (was 21st), Jess Jackson (was 22nd), Tiger Woods (was 23rd), Malcolm X (was 24th), Thomas Jefferson (was 25th), Eleanor Roosevelt (was 26th),Muhammad Ali (was 27th), Venus Williams (was 28th), Neil Armstrong (was 30th)
People were asked why someone is no longer an admired hero. The top five answers were: Do not demonstrate leadership,Became too concerned about getting personal recognition,Conduct themselves in an immoral or unethical way, Are no longer interested in helping others, Are no longer setting goals for themselves. It is interesting to note nine deceased people on the top twenty.
Harris Interactive does supply some information about their methodology. ” This Harris Poll® was conducted online within the United States between January 12 and19, 2009, among 2,634 adults (aged 18 and over). Figures for age, sex, race/ethnicity, education, region and household income were weighted where necessary to bring them into line with their actual proportions in the population. Propensity score weighting was also used to adjust for respondents’ propensity to be online.” Anyone understanding “Propensity Score Weighting” is smarter than PG.
HT to JoemyG-d. He is not the G person in the top twenty.

TwentyTwoWords had a post today about blogging and seminaries. The post was : “If I ran a seminary, I’d make blogging a requirement. What better way to practice finding something worthwhile to say every day?”
22W is blessed with commenters. Whenever Abraham says anything, there are going to be people with something to say. A few of them follow the 22 word rule, and they are appreciated.
One regular commenter is Frank Turk. His contribution today was: “Yeah, but only 22 words? It sounds like something which would cause sermons to become sermonettes.”
Chamblee54 replied: “Frank Turk…And the problem with that is?”
Mr. Turk replied: ” Can’t explain it to you, Chamblee. The point of reference is something you reject as useful, let alone authoritative.”
Chamblee54 is a bit puzzled by this. The “problem” to him is preachers who fall in love with the sound of their voice. Over and over, every sunday the same basic message comes out the preachers. The Bible is the word of G-d, and the only verse that we really need to know is John 3:16. The obsession with life after death is delivered commodity fashion every sunday at 11 am.
If this is the “point of reference”, then maybe Scent has a point. When Chamblee54 made his comment, he was referring to the wonders of brevity. With a message as slender as that of the Jesus Worship church, there is no need to hear it over and over every week.
But, the audiences at these performances are already converted. They are “Saved”, and if you believe it just ask. They are going to heaven, and if you disagree, you are going to hell. For some reason, the pew warmers enjoy hearing “the message”. It makes them feel good to hear this commodity more, longer, and louder. To Chamblee54, this is neither useful nor authoritative. It does not relate to whether or not he agrees with this message, just that he is not entertained by hearing it.
If you have decided that you do not agree with the basic message, It doesn’t matter how long the preacher talks. If you do agree with the message, and are entertained by the constant repetition, then you might want that quantity discount.
spell check suggestions for this feature:
sermonettes- marionettes, maisonettes, luncheonettes

There has been talk lately about The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM was originally created in response to the Kansas State Board of Education. The KSBE ruled that alternatives to evolution needed to be taught in public schools, including some contraption known as intelligent design. There was talk about whirlwinds rampaging through warehouses and creating jet engines.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster soon appeared, in all it’s saucy glory. The FSM is a satire religion, in the footsteps of the invisible pink unicorn. Bertrand Russell wrote of an interplanetary teapot, which will provide the beverage for the spaghetti supper.
FSM is often used as a substitute for the G word, or G-d. Whether or not Mr. Dammit approves is uncertain.
In this rumble for the hearts and minds of the unwashed masses, G-d has an advantage over The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The G word is a marketing dream. It is short, easy to say, and understood by almost everyone who speaks English. While people mean different things when they say G-d, almost everyone knows about the concept.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster, on the other hand, has eight syllables. Spaghetti is notoriously tough to spell, and has a silent letter. Unless you have heard about the antics of the FSM, you can expect some empty stares when you talk about her.
When PG was in school, he wrote a restaurant article. He did not know how to spell spaghetti. The dictionary showed nothing of value in under spe and spi, where logic tells you to look. Finally, PG got the yellow pages out, and looked for a spaghetti restaurant.
No one claims that The Flying Spaghetti Monster got a virgin pregnant.

PG put a pot of water on the stove to boil, and set the timer for five minutes. He decides to write a blog post in that five minutes.
The sky is bright blue out the window, even though the air is cold. Winter is mild in Georgia, usually.
There is a mirror in front of the work station. It reflects a TV, which allows PG to watch while on the computer. The third week of the playoffs are coming up, and the NFL is a mess. Pittsburgh is the only firstweekbye team to make the conference championships.
This is a year of odd things, already, even more than last year. PG is going for the longshot and saying that Arizona wins it all.
The face in the mirror is relentless. PG is harassed for not having a happy face, but he is used to it. It is the rest of the world that has to look. Today, PG does not care.
The screen on the TV is blank. PG …..ding….
Spell check suggestion for this feature:
firstweekbye- headfirst

PG was trolling the blogosphere, looking for good words to put between pictures. He was tired of a number of subjects. None of these subjects were going to go away, although others can be expected to tire of reading about them. Then he found a post in Making Chutney about the ultimate subject that will not go away…life after death.
PG decided a while back that life after death is a better descriptive than “eternal life” or, G-d forbid, “Salvation”. Jesus Worshipers are obsessed with life after death. It is mentioned at almost all gatherings of Jesus Worshipers. PG finds the whole matter annoying.
So anyway, the New York Times published an op ed piece, written by Charles Blow.  It seems as though the “Pew Forum”…which may or may not comment on deodorants…published a survey. The bottom line of the study is that 70 percent of Americans said that they believed religions other than theirs could lead to eternal life.
Gee, thats big of them.
Who says that life after death is a proper matter for a religion to discuss? And even if it is, why do Jesus Worshipers talk about life after death ALL THE TIME? Also, does a belief in life after death justify the rudeness and shouting that Jesus Worship is known for?
Jesus Worship is the dominant religion in our culture. Many people see other religions through the priorities of Jesus Worship. It is a surprise to many to learn that not everyone is as concerned about life after death as they are. Or, that many simply do not agree with the Jesus Worship plan for life after death.
PG decided a long time ago that the correct answer to the question ” Where will you spend eternity?” is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. The use of cusswords is optional.

Maybe the problem is Jesus.
Like many other issues, there are semantics involved. There is the historic Jesus. The legend is he was born in a manger of a virgin mother. He grew to be a carpenter, until he took time off the give talks about G-d. He was too much trouble for the powers that be, so he was killed. The story is that he rose from the dead.
There is also the spirit today, which many call Jesus. This spirit has little in common with the historic Jesus, except for using the name. The best way to know this spirit is through those who believe in it.
There is some dispute when the historic Jesus was born. As another blogger put it: ” Israeli meteorologists best guess places the real date of Christ’s birth on September 29th, 5 B.C.
The Catholic writer Mario Righetti candidly admit that, “to facilitate the acceptance of the faith by the pagan masses, the Church of Rome found it convenient to institute the 25th of December as the feast of the birth of Christ to divert them from the pagan feast, celebrated on the same day in honor of the ‘Invincible Sun’ Mithras, the conqueror of darkness” (Manual of Liturgical History, 1955, Vol. 2, P. 67).” The truth is, we don’t know when Historic Jesus was born. Four days after the winter solstice just seemed like a good time for a celebration.
There is also the Spirit Jesus to think about. Since it doesn’t exist outside of the hearts of the believers, it can have any “birthday” it wants. December 25 works just fine.
The idea for this post was a rant about the hurt that Spirit Jesus has put in my life. About the harm done to our society by the leadership of the Jesus worship church, and their followers. About the debasement of our government by exploiting religion. ( For a recent example, see BHO and Slick Rick)
This will not change anyone’s mind, and will only make me feel worse.
I would like to suggest to the Xmas lovers out there, the simple fact that not everyone shares your joy. Jesus is a source of misery to me. His birthday…spirit or historic… is nothing to celebrate.