Fun With Commodes
This is a two part post. The first part is a list of 15. It is fun facts about the commode. These are borrowed from a site called Listserve. LS has lots of lists. The Chamblee 54 response is part two. 1. The film “Psycho” was the first movie to show a toilet flushing – the scene caused an inpouring of complaints about indecency 2. Pomegranates studded with cloves were used as the first attempt at making toilet air-freshner 3. Hermann Goering refused to use regulation toilet paper – instead he bought soft white handkerchiefs in bulk and used them 4. Over $100,000 US dollars was spent on a study to determine whether most people put their toilet paper on the holder with the flap in front or behind; the answer: three out of four people have the flap in the front 5. King George II of Great Britain died falling off a toilet on the 25th of October 1760 6. The average person spends three whole years of their life sitting on the toilet 7. The first toilet cubicle in a row is the least used (and consequently cleanest) 8. An estimated 2.6 billion people worldwide do not have access to proper toilet facilities, particularly in rural areas of China and India. 9. The Roman army didn’t have toilet paper so they used a water soaked sponge on the end of a stick instead! 10. The toilet is flushed more times during the super bowl halftime than at any time during the year. 11. 90% of pharmaceuticals taken by people are excreted through urination. Therefore our sewer systems contain heavy doses of drugs. A recent study by the EPA has found fish containing trace amounts of estrogen, cholesterol-lowering drugs, pain relievers, antibiotics, caffeine and even anti-depressants. 12. Lack of suitable toilets and sanitation kills approximately 1.8 million people a year, many of them children. 13. The toilet handle in a public restroom can have up to 40,000 germs per square inch. 14. While he didn’t invent the toilet, Thomas Crapper perfected the siphon flush system we use today. He was born in the village of Thorne – which is an anagram of throne. 15. In a 1992 survey, British public toilets were voted the worst in the world. Following quickly behind were Thailand, Greece, and France. Add.1-An amusing feature of the water closet is the tendency of people to die there. Elvis comes to mind immediately. There is some debate about this, as some say he was stricken on the throne, fell off, and perished on the floor. Judy Garland is also known to have met her maker while doing number two. Add.2- It seems that this is a real problem with older people that have constipation issues. When you are in delivery mode, and you push too hard, you can cause something called Valsalva’s maneuver. To make a long story short, all that squeezing can pinch the arteries going into the heart. This is not good for you. According to a commenter here, it is .06% of all deaths.
GM And Air France
The comments continue to accrue at BEattitude. PG feels obligated to milk this for one more post.
On saturday, PG made a comment. With a bit of procrastination and luck, he would have been comment number 666. The liquor store in the pictures has gone out of business. Such is life.
PG is well aware that posting this comment contradicts line three. If you cannot read a yellow font, highlight it with your mouse.
You are up to 642 comments. I am impressed, and just a bit envious. There are a lot of people with nothing better to do on a glorious late spring saturday than argue about religion.
I have a few random thoughts to throw in.
1- The first and third commandments are very underrated, and much violated by Jesus Worshipers. At the very least, to take a text like the Bible and call it the word of G-d is a violation of the first commandment. The holy trinity business is another rupture of the first commandment. And when preaching results in ill will, that is a violation of the third commandment. The third commandment is more than G-d’s last name.
2. I see G-d as being like the elements…earth, air, fire, and water.I think the issue is not to believe or not believe, but in how you conceive G-d. I could be very wrong about this, but this works for me. It takes a little while away from Jesus Worship culture to not see religion in those terms.
3- I tend to suffer from what I call “Jesus Fatigue”. Tired of the wrangling, tired of the personal attacks from those who disagree, tired of speculation about life after death, just plain tired. I see something like this and realize that I have heard almost all of these arguments before, and they don’t make any more sense this time.
4- Jesus Worship is a religion of beliefs rather than practices. These beliefs are based on a book, which is considered the “word of G-d”. This foundation tends to lead to these endless arguments, and the anger and alienation that comes with them.
5- I see Jesus in the words and deeds of those who believe in him. He is a spirit that lives in these believers. This spirit shares little more than a name with the Jew who lived in Palestine 2k years ago. The historic Jesus was killed because he was a troublemaker. His death and reputed resurrection has nothing to do with what happens to me when I die.
6- Send some of those readers and commenters to my blog. I need the traffic. Thank you for making the effort. As Jesus might/might not have said “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”.
This bit of hypocrisy did generate a reply.
Ah a breathe of fresh air. here is a One Minute Wisdom from Anthony De Mello to go along with your 6th, it made me tear up when I read it: “How shall i get the grace of never judging my neighbor?” “Through prayer.” “Then why have i not found it yet?” “Because you haven’t prayed in the right place.” “Where is that?” “In the heart of God.” “And how do I get there?” “Understand that anyone who sins does not know what he is doing and deserves to be forgiven”
Jeeze Squeeze
The comment explosion at BEattitude is up to 799. Chamblee54 is green with envy.
PG was trolling the comment thread, looking for the trackback to his post. The emotional stamina to read all those comments was not there, but a few did stand out.
I used to be an atheist, but then I scientifically studied the Bible with an open heart and mind.
Today, I continue to discover more wisdom in the Bible than the more than 500 secular, self-help books I have read.
The Bible does not contradict itself at all.
That is the main reason billions of Christians believe the Bible to be the infallible Word of God.
Where exactly do you see a contradiction?
Sincerely, Dave Christian
Founder, Helpology.org
http://helpology.wordpress.com/founder/
P.S. If I can help you in any way, just let me know.
Great post because it was well thought out. What I find distracting is when believers reply they make no effort to see your point of view. It is almost impossible to speak to believers about the hateful rhetoric their faith teaches because they don’t seem to get it – they think it is just the teachings and can’t seem to grasp the emotions it invokes
It is not what you say, it is how you say it. When you are shouted down and humiliated, it doesn’t matter that someone is trying to save your soul.
Religion On A Sunny Day
The rain finally stopped, the sun came out, and Atlanta Georgia is a lovely, lovely place. What better time to write about religion?
PG found a thingie on the internet today. It is a list of twenty reasons why the person at BEattitude is no longer a Jesus Worshiper. It has 331 comments. Does anyone the time them all?
The man is in what you might call phase one post Jesus. He sees things in terms of the Christian Experience. The further you get from Jesus Worship, the more you see that Jesus is not the only game in town.
The free for all going on in the comments thread is much more pleasant in digital form. In person, you would have 300 people interrupting and screaming at each other. Some think that the louder you talk, the more truth your words have.
The symbolism of the cross is rather distasteful. A cross was a method of capital punishment, and a rather gruesome method at that. If Jesus were to be offed in prison today, would future generations worship a syringe?
Whenever you hear the word G-d, the word Believe is not far behind. The two seem to go together. PG wonders if belief is really the proper way to “know” G-d. Remember, the middle three letters of beLIEve is LIE.
100 Unsexy Men
The Boston Phoenix recently published a list of the 100 unsexiest men. For photographs and clever commentary, go to the site. HT to jockohomo.
100. Robert Pattinson 99. Dan Deacon 98. Patton Oswalt 97. Toby Young 96. Sean Delonas 95. Marko Jaric 94.John Boehner & Eric Cantor 93. Russell Brand 92. Rick Ross 91. George W. Bush 90. New Kids on the Block 89. Greg Behrendt 88. Curt Schilling 87. Don Cornelius 86. Peter Ishkhans 85. Rick Santelli 84. Common 83. Rod Brind’Amour 82. Keith Jardine 81. David Paterson 80. Shia LaBeouf 79. Carlos Slim 78. Chris Martin 77. Clark Rockefeller 76. Guy Fieri 75. Hammer 74. Darryl McCauley 73. Robert Mugabe 72. MC Frontalot 71. John McCain 70. Boy George 69. Sean Penn and Hugo Chavez 68. David Zucker 67. Billy Corgan 66. Hugh Hefner 65. Manny Ramirez 64. Mark Halperin 63. Lehman Brothers Bankers 62. Jim Norton 61. Dick Cheney 60. Kanye West 59. Hugh Jackman 58. Omar al-Bashir 57. Ray J 56. Jonah Goldberg 55. Richard Johnson 54. Tom Daschle and Bill Richardson 53. Barack Obama’s Cabinet Members 52. Bruce Springsteen 51. Bishop Richard Williamson 50. John Thain 49. Kid Rock 48. Roland Burris 47. Pete Wentz 46. Harry Connick Jr. 45. Jack Black 44. Ron Christie 43. Denis Leary 42. Matthew Broderick 41. Warren Jeffs 40. Mickey Rourke 39. Jim Bob Duggar 38. Lang Lang 37. John Mayer 36. Raffaello Follieri 35. Lil Wayne 34. Chris Matthews 33. Tyler Perry 32. Girl Talk 31. Ron Prentice 30. Eric Violette 29. Michael Phelps 28. Kevin James 27. Michael Steele 26. Vince Offer 25. DUSTIN PEDROIA AND KEVIN YOUKILIS 24. RICK WARREN 23. BRET MICHAELS 22. JIMMY FALLON 21. JASON MESNICK 20. JOHN EDWARDS 19. Judd Apatow and Friends 18. Joe the Plumber 17. Steve Wozniak 16. Plaxico Burress 15. Andrew Dice Clay 14. Levi Johnston 13. Joaquin Phoenix 12. Robert Smith 11. Bobby Jindal 10. Detroit Auto Executives 9. Michael Kamrava 8. Christian Bale 7. Jim Cramer 6. Adam Lambert 5. Rod Blagojevich 4. Alex Rodriguez 3. Bernie Madoff 2. Chris Brown 1. Rush Limbaugh
No American Idol Here
Nibras Kazimi is a visiting scholar at the Hudson Institute in New York. He writes a blog, Talismangate. It is mostly about Iraq, and the mess it is in.
Wednesday, he posted about President Obama. It seems like BHO is going to make a speech to the Muslim world in June. He has chosen Cairo as the site. Mr. Kazimi does not think this is a good choice. The reasoning behind this teaches PG a few things. Of course, almost anything about the Arab world is news to PG.
The line in the west is that Cairo is a leading city in the Muslim world. According to Mr. Kazimi, this is not quite the case. The importance of Cairo is largely a product of British propaganda, during the time that Egypt was part of the British Empire. Another black eye for Egypt is the peace treaty with Israel, which was evident during the siege of Gaza last year. To many, Egypt is an ally of Israel.
Damascus was suggested as another site for this speech. There are problems. The ruling regime in Syria is brutal, even by middle east standards. It is the sworn enemy of Israel, which would not play well with BHO’s supporters back home. On the Israel issue, BHO is going to upset someone no matter what he does. The good news is, Syria has taken in many refugees from the war in Iraq…many, many more than the United States.
Mecca would be a good site for this speech, if BHO was not an infidel. President O is viewed with suspicion in the Muslim world, especially with the escalation of the war in AfPak. It is ironic that many in America still believe BHO is a Muslim. BHO has his work cut out for him, both at home and abroad.
Talismangate is an excellent source of information and confusion. You will read things that are not even hinted in the American corporate media. The English speaking reader will find many of the names difficult to fathom. (Nibras Kazimi is one of the easier ones) Every time PG reads an Iraqi Blog, he is a bit more confused. America has started something that will be very difficult to finish.
A Rainbow Colored Prayer
Today is the National Day for Prayer. PG has this to offer:
Good Morning G-d. Please give me the slack I need to make it through this busy life. I had a birthday yesterday, and am getting older. Please give me less pain, both above and below the neck. Thank you for letting me get this far. Thank you for the gift of sobriety, and the memory of inebrience. The gift of moderation would have been appreciated. Help me to overcome the body chemistry that tells me to be unhappy.
Please tell the Jesus Worshipers to shut up. They make too much noise. Help me to forgive them. Give Jesus Worshipers a bit more humility. Help Jesus Worshipers to get over their confusion, and quit hating gay people. Let people know that G-d does not write books. Let men know that A REAL MAN KEEPS CONTROL OF HIS TEMPER. Please tell the proud people praying today that it is better to listen than to talk.
Please find a happy medium for Atlanta water. Let us have neither drought nor flood. It would help if the developers would move to North Carolina, and the politicians would grow a conscience. This may be asking too much.
G-d, Please try to get along better with Allah. This is important. Maybe if you and her got along better, then all those religious crazies would hate each other less. Help white people and black people get along better. Please be good to the people who have already lived, and are now deceased. Please understand that I am not in a hurry to join them.
Help Mr. Obama with the mess this country is in. Help Israel get along with her neighbors, and live within her borders. Help the world solve the carbon dioxide problem.
Thank you for the birds that sing. I will listen to them, and not an electronic device. Thank you for dogs, and dog owners who clean up. Thank you for earth, air, fire, and water. Thank you for incomplete lists. Namaste, amen, all my relations, Good Bye.
What Mormons Did To Mama Obama
The custom of baptism has reared her ugly head again.
The dunk or sprinkle debate will probably never be resolved. The question about whether to baptize infants or converts is a call to battle. The Mormon institution has thrown another possibility into the game…baptism of the dead by proxy.
This is one of the things about the Latter Day Saints that causes heads to shake. There are computers in Mormon facilities that track the ancestors of members, and perform a digital baptism by proxy. The idea is that a person cannot go to heaven unless they have been baptized. The Jesus Worship Obsession with life after death is a nonstop source of amusement.
This custom is in the news today. It seems like the LDS baptized Stanley Ann Dunham, the deceased mother of President Obama. This is despite the fact that Miss Dunham married an African, and had a mixed race son.
The LDS church has apparently confirmed that this baptism did take place.
The comment thread on the original story has some remarkable statements. This stood out: “Baptisms for the dead are just a symbolic gesture that we remember and love the deceased and welcome them into our faith. We understand that they have the same freedom in death as they had in life whether to accept or acknowledge our gesture. Consider the last chapter in the Bible, Malachi 4:”
PG has not been to church in 38 years. The last time he heard, the last book of the Bible was Revelations. The book that puts the fun back in fundie.
HT to JoemyG-d, who is becoming an internet superstar.
Listen Part Two
PG is on the email list of Allen Hunt. Mr. Hunt is a radio whiner, who used to be a Minister. He still talks about religion, whenever and wherever.
The message yesterday was about “3 simple things you can to do grow forward in your faith life. “ The three items are read, pray, and talk. The reader(s) of this blog should know what is coming next.
PG “I recieved your letter about three words to improve your “faith life” I don’t have a problem with reading. I think more than five pages a day is indicated. I also think that any book..not just religious books…will be beneficial. Even if all you do is enjoy your reading, you have done something worthwhile.
The second two words…pray and talk…are way, way overrated. Jesus worshipers talk too much and listen too little. When you talk, you need to pay attention to your audience. You need to have the trust and respect of this person. You need to shut up and listen when it is their turn to talk.
Prayer is talking to G-d. Meditation is listening to G-d. Our culture does not value listening, and this is a serious problem.
A few days ago, an 11 year old in Stone Mountain grew tired of the abuse of his classmates, and committed suicide. How many of those bully children were Jesus Worshipers? How many of those preachers shout angry messages to those children? How many of those children were taught to hate gay people in their churches? I don’t see any of your messages about these issues.
The inability of Jesus Worshipers to quit their wonderful talking and listen to others is one of the biggest problems in our society. Your message…encouraging people to talk, after they read their five pages a day… makes the problem worse.”
To his credit, Mr. Hunt did reply. ” If we do not talk with each other, how do we grow?”
PG ” by listening”
AH ” If no one is talking, no one can listen “
PG ” don’t worry there will always be someone who wants to talk…Right now, the focus of the Jesus Woship church should be toning down the anger and the shouting, reducing the level of venom in the church, before we lose any more 11 year old boys to suicide.”
Mr. Hunt did not reply to this last message. HT on the video to Captains Dead. The lady should have listened.
Religious Arguments
The other day Father Tony posted a video at Bilerico (ba LAIR i co) about how to argue. He acknowledged that he is a venomous person.
FT used to be employed by the Catholic church. That is how he got his handle. PG thought on this for a while, and saw a connection. A little more thinking, and PG pondered that crowd pleaser, the religious argument.
Jesus Worship is a religion of beliefs, rather than practices. One of their key beliefs is the notion that you should convert those who disagree with you. If these people don’t agree with you about certain things, they go to hell. This lust to “evangelize” leads to a lot of arguments.
One of the rules for living/arguing that Father Tony expresses is that, yes, you are going to argue. This is especially true for romantic partnerships, but includes all sorts of human relating. How does this relate to religion? If you believe in a religion, does this mean you are compelled to argue with those who you disagree with?
Religious belief can be a source of strength and comfort to those lucky enough to be in the loop. For many of the rest of us, Religion (especially the Jesus Worship variety) is a source of venom. The endless arguments that believers loudly put forth spoil whatever benefits these beliefs can have. It is enough to make you wish you would never hear the word Jesus again.
Listen
Father Tony put up a video today about “How to argue”. The concept is that conflict is inevitable in human relationships. The secret is how to deal with it. He makes a few suggestions about “How to argue”. It is not a complete list. There is one very important word that he does not use.
Listen.
When someone is saying something to you, it is very helpful to listen to them. Do not think about the clever thing you are going to say in reply. Do not think about how this person is a hypocrite for saying something (Even if…or maybe especially if…they are a hypocrite for saying something).
Don’t think about problems that you have with this person. Shut up and listen. Do not interrupt. It is helpful to turn your eyes from the tv or computer, and look at the person who is talking to you.
The person who “starts” the argument should return the favor by keeping his remarks as brief and to the point as possible. Many people think they should talk until they are interrupted. You should be as concise as possible, speaking only about the issue at hand.
The louder you say something does not mean that it has more truth. The more respect you show a person you are talking to, the more respect you can expect them to show you. This is another thing that you can offer a person who shows you the courtesy of listening.
Listening is not valued in our culture. It is passive, and talking is active. Many seem to feel that they are losing power to a person if they shut up and listen.
Have you ever heard a person boast about the clever things they say? Have you ever heard a person boast about how good a listener they are? Maybe the priorities of our culture are out of whack.
Father Tony also mentioned the concept of venom in an argument. He maintains that some people are naturally venomous, and that it is a trait that you need to learn to control. PG would like to observe that people should not use Jesus as a form of venom. This should be obvious, but so many super Christians use Jesus (and the Bible) as a tool of their anger. The third commandment is a very underrated piece of work, and Jesus Worshipers would be wise to obey it.
Blogswarm Against Theocracy 2009
It is Monday the thirteenth. In a logical world, this is the day people would fear. It is a day too late to participate in the Blogswarm against Theocracy. However, when dealing with government and religion, one should never let a technicality get in the way.
Perhaps the problem is not religion in general, but the types of religion that flourish in these United States. Perhaps a more benign form of spiritual discipline could make paying taxes and filling out forms more enjoyable.
Doorknob worship has never caught on here. Without a hard sell scheme for life after death, it is left sticking out in the hallway. The government is even legislating against doorknobs, in favor of those banana shaped things.
Pastafarianism would probably not make a good governing religion. Many of our leaders are on the sauce already. And the tea party is two days from now. They have the wrong beverage in the name. They will be serving whine.
Then there is the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Founded thirty years ago, with old nun habits from Iowa, the SPI has stood for debauchery and whiteface makeup ever since. The SPI shows the value of recycling, to be founded on the festering corpse of the Roman Pedophile Church.
My bad, the RPC is still alive. Considering some of the other alternatives available, maybe separation of church and state is a good idea.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
blogroll- logrolling, bankroll, bedroll, hologram, holograph
pastafarianism- rastafarian, egalitarianism, humanitarianism, totalitarianism, antiquarianism
HT to JoemyG-d for the video.
Chamblee54 
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