Chamblee54

What bird doesn’t build a nest? A cuckoo cause it lives in a clock.
A penguin walks in to a bar and says to the barman, have you seen my brother?
Batman says I don’t know, what’s he look like?
I saw this wino; he was eating grapes. It’s like ‘Dude! You have to wait!’
What do u call a girl who lives on top of a house? RUTH
Helium walks into a bar Bartender asks, “What will you have?” Helium did not react.
A Hasidic Jew with a frog on his shoulder walks into a bar.
Bartender: “where’d you get that?” Frog: “Brooklyn. There’s hundreds of them.”
We were up all night wondering where the Sun had gone, then it dawned on us
Do you know what a pink birds favorite game is?? FlaBINGO
An upset cannibal threw up his arms….
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Control Freak. Con—Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns dont work
Knock, knock, Who’s there? Spitamish Spitamish who?
*Proceeds to spit on other persons shoe*
Q: Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? A: Because he was always spotted.
How many abstract artists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish
What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it
What did the baby corn say to its mom? Where’s my pop corn?
What does a panda use to fry eggs? A pan. Duh.
What did Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes…
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!”
“What does the pig give you?” “Bacon!” “What does the fat cow give you?” “Homework!”
My ex-wife still misses me…but her aim is gettin’ better!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?… 1/2 a worm!
The kitten was having trouble watching her Blu-Ray. Turns out she just had the movie on paws.
There were 2 cats looking into a bird cage.
First cat: “That’s not a canary. It’s green!” Second cat: “I don’t know, maybe it’s not ripe yet”
I never wanted to believe my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker …
But when I got home, all the signs were there
A man went into an auto parts store. “Can I get a new gas cap for a Yugo?”
The clerk thought for a second and said, “That seems like a fair trade.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from his job at the door factory?
Yep, he just couldn’t get a handle on it.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. Marion Post Wolcott took the social media picture in October 1941. “Radford, Virginia. Sunset Village, FSA housing project. Fred B. Williams from Savannah, Georgia, and his son “Buddy” cleaning the car distributer on the porch of his home. 803 9th Street” This is a repost. Somebody else wrote these jokes.