Chamblee54

This is a repost from 2010. If you click on the link in this post, you will see scantily clothed Asian women, and the headline “Kumpulan Link Slot Deposit Pulsa 5000 Tanpa Potongan.” A google search for “Are you a hipster christian” leads to this: “What if Jesus called you to a church home where the pastor’s sermons weren’t available as podcasts? What if the body of believers Christ surrounded you with …” Pictures are from Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library.
PG is not a Christian. He does like to take silly quizzes, and see what he scores. When a facebook friend reported taking a test, Are you a hipster christian, PG took the bait. The test is thirty questions, and multiple choice. While this makes the grading easier, it sometimes asks you to choose the answer that you disagree with the least. When you are dealing with a prideful subculture like Christianism, a neutral observer is going to scratch his head a lot.
Question 1 should have been an indication of what was about to happen. “Which of the following books would you consider the most spiritually significant?~Sheldon Van Auken, A Severe Mercy~John Piper, Desiring God~Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ~John Eldredge, Wild at Heart~none of the above.” PG has read none of those books, and only knows John Piper because his son writes a cool blog. (22 words is now a spam nightmare.) PG would have voted for Piper, except the old man likes to trash homosexuals.
Question 3 was the first time that PG agreed with the answer that he checked. “If you are a believer, how would you describe yourself?~Christian~Christ Follower~”Christian, but not in the George W. Bush sense”~Please. Labels are for the over-30 set.” PG chose the last answer, even if he is waaaay over 30. Labels belong on jars, not people.
Question 10 and Question 12 are both yes/no affairs, and PG could answer both honestly. “Be honest: Have you ever gone on a rant about “authenticity,” “narrative,” or “love without strings”?” “In the past 12 months, have you listened to a sermon by John MacArthur and enjoyed it?” Being banned from commenting at a blog, owned by a John MacArthur employee, did not affect this.
Question 18 “What would Jesus’ favorite beer have been?~Pabst~Chimay Red~Some sort of masculine stout~Jesus doesn’t drink!” Out of sheer redneck pride, PG chose PBR.
Question 19 showed a lack of sensitivity. “In the last year, how often have you argued (and significantly disagreed) with your parents about the following: politics, gay marriage, evolution, drinking, or the End Times?~Those topics never come up…because I’ve filed them forever in the “Relationship Ruiner” vault.~Maybe drinking sometimes comes up.~We debate them at every meal. Along with my eternal damnation.~I’m on the same page with my parents on all those issues.~My parents aren’t Christians and we don’t really talk about this stuff.” PG’s parents were Christians while they were alive. Questions like this are not helpful.
Question 27 is mind blowing. “What is your preferred Bible translation?~The Message~The American Patriot’s Bible~ESV~NRSV~NIV~The App I downloaded for my iPhone~none of the above.” The King James Bible was once the only game in town. Today, KJV is “none of the above.”
Question 29 was about Christian music, with the answer “I haven’t listened to any “Christian music” of the last 20 years.” Finally, it was time to know the score. “Your Christian Hipster Quotient: 65 / 120 – Low CHQ. You probably belong to the purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive, Hawaiian shirt-wearing Christian establishment, even though you are open to some of the “rethinking Christianity” stuff. You seem to like edginess in some measure but become uneasy when your idea of Christian orthodoxy is challenged by some renegade young visionary who claims the virgin birth isn’t necessary.”