Chamblee54

“Claire and Samantha are identical twins. Their combined age is twenty years, four months, and six days. Claire is better at being Dead than Samantha. … “When you’re dead,” the babysitter snaps, “it’s always very cold and damp, and you have to be very, very quiet or else the Specialist will get you.” It is important to note the difference between Dead and dead. One is a game that obnoxious little girls play. The other is a state of being, peculiar to plants and animals, where the functions of a living organism no longer operate.
C&S are spending the summer with their father in a haunted mansion. This fulfills two of the themes of Pretty Monsters We don’t know where the mansion is. Travelers can find it to take tours, but the reader does not have to know. New England is a likely suspect.
The second PM theme is the weirdo parent. This one has a good excuse. His wife is recently deceased. The girls talk about it all the time. In a bit of synchronicity, PG is reading The Specialist’s Hat on the anniversary of his own mother’s transition. This stood out with passages like this: “Last year they were learning fractions in school, when her mother died. Fractions remind Samantha of herds of wild horses, piebalds and pintos and palominos. There are so many of them, and they are, well, fractious and unruly.” It should be noted that a ten year old boy would probably not say anything like that. Wild horses are more of a girl thing.
One day, C&S … the girls, not the bank … were riding horses, in the magic attic of the haunted house. Or maybe it is a bicycle. That is another thing about Pretty Monsters, the details get confused. The difference between a horse, and a bicycle, is huge. You don’t shoot a bicycle if you get a flat tire.
“If you ride fast enough, the Specialist can’t catch you.” “What’s the Specialist?” Samantha says. Bicycles are okay, but horses can go faster. “The Specialist wears a hat,” says the babysitter. “The hat makes noises.”She doesn’t say anything else. … Hanging from a nail on the nursery chimney is a long black object. It looks lumpy and heavy, as if it were full of things. The babysitter takes it down, twirls it on her finger. There are holes in the black thing and it whistles mournfully as she spins it. “The Specialist’s hat,” she says.” …
“Claire weaves in and out between the chimneys, chasing Samantha and the babysitter. Samantha is slow, turning to look behind. As Claire approaches, she keeps one hand on the handlebars and stretches the other hand out towards Samantha. Just as she is about to grab Samantha, the babysitter turns back and plucks the hat off Claire’s head.” …
“Shit!” the babysitter says, and drops it. There is a drop of blood forming on the fleshy part of the babysitter’s hand, black in the moonlight, where the Specialist’s hat has bitten her. Claire dismounts, giggling. Samantha watches as the Specialist’s hat rolls away. It picks up speed, veering across the attic floor, and disappears, thumping down the stairs. “Go get it,” Claire says. “You can be the Specialist this time.” “No,” the babysitter says, sucking at her palm. “It’s time for bed.”
Monster, the next story, is about boys. The only girl is the camp counselor’s gf, and all she does is make phone calls. It is hinted that the counselor is the titular monster, since he disappears when the monster, who does not have a name, appears.
A bunch of ten year olds are at a summer camp. It is the traditional assortment of misfits and misterfits. “Yeah, James Lorbick should always wear dresses. He’s so hot.” “James Lorbick, I think you are so hot. Not.” “Leave James alone,” Bryan Jones said.”
The boys in bungalow 6 are going on an overnight expedition. It is going to rain. The boys in bungalow 4 have already been on this trip, and they saw a monster. The bungalow 4 boys are mean, and nobody likes them. This is the reason the monster left them alone.
They go on this trip. The counselor disappears to talk to his gf on the phone. While he is gone, the monster appears. Even though it is summer, it starts to snow. James Lorbick, who nobody likes, becomes the sort-of hero. We know more about the way the monster smelled, than we do about the way the monster looked.
“The snow kept falling. They did little dances in the snow to keep warm. The fire got thinner and thinner and started to go out. But before it went out, the monster came up the muddy, snowy path. It smiled at them and it came up the path and Danny Anderson shone his flashlight at it and they could all see it was a monster and not Terence pretending to be a monster. … “
“The monster had one Simpson twin under each arm. The twins were screaming. The monster threw them down the path. Then it bent over Bryan Jones, who was lying half inside one of the tents, half in the snow. There were slurping noises. After a minute it stood up again. It looked back and saw James Lorbick. It waved.”
“James Lorbick shut his eyes. When he opened them again, the monster was standing over him. It had red eyes. It smelled like rotting fish and kerosene. It wasn’t actually all that tall, the way you’d expect a monster to be tall. Except for that, it was even worse than Bungalow 4 had said. …”
“I’m sorry about the rest of your bungalow. Your friends. Your friends who made you wear a dress.” “Are you going to eat me?” James said. “I don’t know,” the monster said. “Probably not. There were a lot of you. I’m not actually that hungry anymore. Besides, I would feel silly eating a boy who’s wearing a dress. And you’re really filthy.”
This is part three of the chamblee54 exploration of Pretty Monsters, by Kelly Link. The quotes are from the .pdf. Part one, part two, part four, and part five, are available, at an internet near you. Pictures for are from the The Library of Congress. They are with the government, and here to help.