Chamblee54

The idea was to read the book, sit down at the machine, and have the text flow effortlessly out. That was five weeks ago, when the library copy of Another Roadside Attraction arrived. Now the book is due back in six days. The bookmark … a library handout about taking the GED … is in front of page 163. Marx Marvelous is having his job interview with Amanda Ziller. The body of Jesus has not appeared, although second time readers know it will.
One place to start is with an internet comment. “… For you see, I have discovered something terrible: Tom Robbins has almost no re-read value. Seriously. It is almost nonexistent. … The man really does have a gift. But that gift is a one term president. It just doesnt have what it takes to be re-elected.”
The fine print page in ARA says “Copyright © by Thomas E. Robbins.” It was written during the Richard Nixon administration. Tricky Dick won a thumping re-election in 1972, but resigned under pressure in 1974. PG first read ARA in 1978, or maybe 1977, when Jimmy Carter was POTUS. Smiling Jimmy did not play the game well, and was sent back to the peanut farm by Ronald Reagan. This led to Daddy Bush, Slick Willie, Idiot son Bush, and the current occupant.
TER novels hold up well to second helpings. PG has redone Cowgirls and Woodpecker, the books that made TER a star. (Bad rhyme alert) There is the fun of seeing bits of verbal derring do that you remember from the first go round. If you are looking for plot subtleties to show up, good luck.
ARA has a different feel from the novels that followed. It was the first TER book that PG read, not knowing what would happen in the next 38 years. There is an optimism to ARA… Marx Marvelous is currently predicting the rise of a new religion, to replace obsolete Christianism. Oh, if only. Christianism is, at the core, a marketing scheme. It has adapted to the changing realities of the past four decayed decades. Jesus worship is a day glo mall of ideologies, with something for everyone. The salvation centerpiece at the heart of the bonanza reamains eternal and unchanging. If the product sells, then trust the marketplace.
Another fun idea is to fact check. TER likes to throw “facts” out at rapid speed. One such incident is on page 82. Amanda is discussing some of her ideas for the roadside zoo. (Baby Thor is nowhere to be seen, and is possibly being raised by Mon Cul the baboon.) JPZ is barely listening, being occupied by rubbing his pecker against her belly. Amanda will not quit talking insect trivia. JPZ counters her by saying that bald eagles have bad breath. Before long, JPZ is one twelth of a fathom into Amanda.
With the internet, and too much free time, we can fact check this claim. The first result for “Do bald eagles have bad breath” is a facebook event, “Ranger Talk – Do Bald Eagles Really Have Bad Breath? · Hosted by The San Gorgonio Wilderness Association.” The next result is a 1997 style web page full of Bald Eagle Characteristics. While the halitosis issue is not settled for sure, it sure does sound likely. Since few of us are going to be within range of a bald eagle mouth, this will have to do.
“Q. Do bald eagles have the same digestive system as humans? A. Now there’s an interesting question! The answer is, no. … part of their stomach has turned into a gizzard, which we don’t have, in which food is ground down to a fine consistency to permit rapid digestion. In eagles, this is also the place where pellets are formed. These are masses of material from prey that cannot be digested, such as fur, feathers, and occasionally bone, that then travel backwards from the gizzard up to the mouth and are cast (like vomited) out the mouth. … Another major difference is that eagles (and other birds) have something called a crop, in the upper alimentary track (esophagus) where food can be stored for days.This is extremely beneficial to eagles…”
The first chapter of ARA has relatively little action. The verbal wizardry that TER is known for is not on display. The first chapter is where we meet Amanda, and see her wedding to JPZ. Plucky Purcell, who is possibly the real life stand in for TER, makes an appearance. Amanda says a lot of things, which are either charming or irritating, depending on the reader.
One way to crunch the verbiage is taking notes. Whenever the reader sees something noteworthy, he writes down the page. (The reader here is PG. Masculine pronouns will be used. There is enough confusion already without gender neutral designations for third person humanity.) The book serving this project is “Bantam trade paperback reissue / May 2003 … ISBN 0-553-34948-1.”
Plucky Purcell made his living selling dope and facilitating abortions. In 1971, this was a dodgy enterprise. Baby killing was not yet legal, and the political squalling not yet begun. (College freshman PG attended a lecture about abortion.) On page 66, it is said “His fees are more than fair: he seeks to make a living, not a killing.” Get your irony fix on page 66.
Page 67 has a spelling mistake…Babylonain is not a real word. Both page 70, and page 98 feature the n-word, in all its six letter glory. On page 79, Amanda is said to smell like the leftovers at an eskimo picnic. TER evolves, and some say matures, as his novels progress. It is fun to go back to the start.
Page 114 is a quote that PG remembers from 1977. It struck PG as being very profound, a thought that would confound the cynical fuddy duddy of 2016. Here, through the miracle of internet quote copy paste is the passage. Profound, or confound? Let the reader decide. “The principal difference between the husbandryman and the historian is that the former breeds sheep or cows or such and the latter breeds (assumed) facts. The husbandryman uses his skills to enrich the future, the historian uses his to enrich the past. Both are usually up to their ankles in bullshit.”
Page 141 … the square root of two with, a similar digital inventory to page 114 … is where the synchronicity sweepstakes announces a winner. Marx Marvelous overhears Amanda Ziller ask if Roland Kirk is indeed the Count Basie orchestra in drag? Little did the fictional Lady Ziller know that PG would see a concert by Rahsaan Roland Kirk on August 9, 1974. This was the night Richard Nixon announced his resignation. Mr. Kirk, aka the modern miracle of the tenor saxophone, passed away December 5, 1977, which is roughly when PG was reading ARA for the first time. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress. Part two of this book report is now available.