Choke

Posted in Book Reports, Library of Congress, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on September 19, 2014

Maybe the best comment about Choke was a one star amazon review. “0 of 1 people found the following review helpful DONT REMEMBER BUYING THIS By nicon September 18, 2013 Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase I DONT REMEMBER BUYING THIS SO I DONT WANT TO RATED IT UNFAIRLY PLEASE REMOVE FROM MY OPINION PAGE OF MY ACCOUNT”
PG was on planet earth 58 years before trying to pronounce Chuck Palahniuk. (Paula-nick) Even seeing a video of “Fight Club” did not steal CP virginity. It was not until September 17, 2012. There was a book report, about a book called Rattled. The last sentence was a link to an internet badge, I write like Chuck Palahniuk
A little while later, PG was on a podcast kick. He would listen to people selling product, with freely offered opinions. A public radio show from California called Bookworm appeared, and yes, Chuck Palahniuk had a new book to sell. CP said, among other things, that he wrote books for people who don’t like to read books.
On some youtube opinion party, CP told a story. He was working as a truck mechanic, and writing in his spare time. There was a writers workshop in town. CP read a story about an ill fated romance with an inflatable plastic inamorata. A lady told CP that he was no longer welcome in their group. However, a local man, Tom Spanbauer might be willing to help. This was another writing group, not a counselor. Has CP used the services of the psych industry?
Twenty one years ago, Tom Spanbauer appeared at a gathering in North Carolina. PG tried to find a copy of The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon, and wound up borrowing a friends copy. At the end of the weekend, friend got Mr. Spanbauer to autograph his book. PG saw his bookmark in the book, and got the bookmark autographed.
And it came to pass that many CP videos were played. Included in this youtubefest is guts, which just might be the grossest thing PG has ever heard. When a copy of Choke appeared at the Chamblee library, PG was ready. Or so he thought.
This is a weird book. A line is repeated throughout, what would Jesus NOT do? One possible answer is producing genetic material from the foreskin of the baby Jesus, and then inserting this dna product into the lady parts of Ida Mancini. This is probably the output of a fevered, sick, horny imagination, which Choke has in abundance.
Most book reports make an effort to tell you the plot. Victor Mancini is a sick puppy. His “mother,” Ida Mancini, is in a nursing home with Alzheimers. This might be the most mental health Miss Mancini has ever enjoyed.
Victor works at a historic fantasy park. Every one of the players is a drug addict, which might be in character for 1734. Victor makes spare change by pretending to choke in restaurants, and be rescued by strangers. These people become his friends, and send him money.
The fun never stops. There is a 12 step program for sex fiends, which provides Victor with female friends. Even though Victor is 90% creep, he many female companions. A lady at his mother’s nuthouse wants to have Victor impregnate her. The plan is to abort the baby, inject the fetus into Ida Mancini, and save the life of the old biddie. The outcome of this scheme is a spoiler.
For all the high spirited fun and games, Choke can be a depressing piece of work. The scenes in the hospital, with the ladies gone bye bye, are not pleasant. Alzheimer is a tough business to deal with. The writing here is dangerous. While Tom Spanbauer likes to promote the idea of dangerous writing, some readers have enough problems already. This is partially covered by the first chapter of Choke, which is a warning that the story you are about to read might cause brain damage.
Pictures are from The Library of Congress. It was written like James Joyce.