Chamblee54

Jury Duty is BORING! Y’all need to send me jokes/stories/photos to my phone to entertain me!!!!!
Why do mama kangaroos hate rainy days? Because the kids have to play inside all day.
Why did the computer go to the doctor…?
Why was the calendar depressed? His days were numbered.
A Lawyer, a Doctor and a Priest are on a plane full of children.. About halfway through, the captain gets on the speaker and says “we have lost all engines and are going down. Please prepare yourselves the best you can.” The Lawyer runs to the cabin and asks the captain for a parachute. The captain replies we only have 3 spares. The lawyer grabs all 3 and returns to the Doctor and Priest. The Doctor asks “Are there really only 3 Parachutes??” The Lawyer replies “Yes” The Doctor Says “what about the Children?” The Lawyer says “Screw The Kids” the Priest replies… “Do we have time?”
What is green and slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit’s Finger!
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I’ll let you go.” The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, “My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!”
What’s Irish and stays out in the rain? Patty O’Furniture
I would take you a joke about my penis, but its too long.