Chamblee54

Someone collected some courtroom transcripts, and issued them in book form. The result was Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History. You might have seen these on facebook already. If this is the case, you can go to the amazon one star comments at the end. If those are boring, you can look at the pictures, from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. If none of that is amusing, then you can watch television.
These samples are typically chats between a witness and an attorney. To make this easier to read, these labels have been dropped. It is fairly obvious which one is the attorney, and which one id the witness. Some of these people might be in the witness protection program. Some need to be in the attorney protection program.
What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? ~ He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ~ And why did that upset you? ~ My name is Susan!
What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? ~ Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Are you sexually active? ~ No, I just lie there.
What is your date of birth? ~ July 18th. ~ What year? ~ Every year.
How old is your son, the one living with you? ~ Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ~ How long has he lived with you? ~ Forty-five years.
This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? ~ Yes. ~ And in what ways does it affect your memory? ~ I forget.. ~ You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? ~ Did you actually pass the bar exam?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? ~ He’s 20, much like your IQ.
Were you present when your picture was taken? ~ Are you shitting me?
So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? ~ Yes. ~
And what were you doing at that time? ~ Getting laid
She had three children , right? ~ Yes. ~ How many were boys? ~ None. ~ Were there any girls? ~
Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
How was your first marriage terminated? ~ By death.. ~
And by whose death was it terminated? ~ Take a guess.
Can you describe the individual? ~ He was about medium height and had a beard ~
Was this a male or a female? ~ Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? ~ No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? ~
All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? ~ Oral…
Do you recall the time that you examined the body? ~ The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ~
And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? ~ If not, he was by the time I finished.
Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ~ Are you qualified to ask that question?
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? ~ No. ~ Did you check for blood pressure? ~ No. ~ Did you check for breathing? ~ No.. ~ So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? ~ No. ~ How can you be so sure, Doctor? ~ Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ~ I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? ~ Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Now, the book has been published. There were 47 reviews. In the best Amazon tradition, 6 of them were one star haters. These often provide the best insight into the true nature of a book. Apparently, the exchanges that made facebook were the only funny ones to be found.
Foul language warning February 20, 2010 Photoman “esib” (Sandusky, Ohio) I only got four pages into the first chapter when I encountered foul language. I did not expect or want to read such tripe. Glad I got my copy at the library to review first. It’s going straight back to the library. Perhaps we should place warnings on books like they do for TV and movies.
Terrible August 5, 2012 Nicki Not funny. Dry. Waste of time & money purchasing this book. Will not even donate. I am an avid reader and I think this possibly is the worst book I have ever read. It was chore that I loathed.
Not so HOT !!! February 28, 2009 Mort Lasnik (REAL NAME) Read the entire book, It was not as funny or as good as the bits of it that I got in e-mail from friends. Some of it was darn right boreing !!!
Don’t buy the kindle version May 5, 2013 C Long (Hong Kong) Don’t buy the kindle version. Lots of pages are missing. I would rate it zero star if i could. I want my money back