Chamblee54

Bead 073 It is a boring friday afternoon. The knee is not any worse, and PG should be able to walk from the parking lot to the doctor’s office tuesday afternoon. The mental state is abysmal. Maybe it would make PG feel better to write something. There are a few chapters of the Bali part of Eat, Pray, Love that are ready for the PG treatment.
But first, there needs to be some background music to work by. It cannot have singing, because lyrics will interfere with the ability to create text. The folder called “discomixi” looks promising. There is a file created by the dj at a New York cha cha palace called the Saint. Even though it has people singing, it should be a dependable background sound, at least unti that break where the eighties disco remix of “Lay all your love on me”, by Saint Abba, kicks in. That break is two hours into this file, and if we work directly through to that song then it should be a productive afternoon.
In this bead, Miss Gilbert arrives in Bali. It turns out she has made no plans. There is no place to stay, and no one to hang out with. There is a vague invitation by a medicine man to come stay at his place, which does not impress the customs agent. She is granted a one month tourist visa.
Bead 074 Miss Gilbert takes a taxi to Ubud. It is a small, culturally important town, and is not near the beaches. Miss Gilbert makes friends with Mario, who picked that for a nickname because he likes things that are Italian.
Mario’s “real” name is Nyoman. It seems like most people in Bali have one of four names. They are Wayan, Made, Nyoman, and Ketut. They refer to the birth order, and mean first child, second child, third child, and fourth child. Most people have a nickname. The healer who invited Miss Gilbert to stay with her is a Ketut. Mario knows him, and agrees to take Miss Gilbert to see him.
Bead 075 Miss Gilbert did not plan the Indonesian part of her trip very well. She arrives at the compound of Ketut Liyer, and he doesn’t remember meeting her. After a few tense moments, Miss Gilbert mentions that she is a writer, and the medicine man remembers.
PG was listening to the Mike Gallagher show , waiting for Chris Wallace to come on. There was a rant. The New York Times published a wikileaks report, a week before the murder of Osama Bin Laden. To hear Mike say it, if OBL had read the NYT, he might have known that the USA knew his location. OBL could have moved, and BHO would not get his trophy.
An alternate theory hit PG… what if the handlers of OBL were tired of him? The old buzzard was a figurehead, and increasingly irrelevant. What if they decided to let the old man become a martyr? A corollary of this was that AQ wanted BHO to remain in office, for whatever reason. PG thought he should call the show to push his theory. On the second call, he got through. “Turn your radio down, don’t say good morning”
After a few minutes of listening to commercials, the producer came on the phone line. ” Mike has decided (unintelligible). Thank you.” When Chris Wallace was through, Mr. Gallagher had another subject. PG found something else to do.
Bead 076 This bead is a lesson about Bali. It is an island in Indonesia. While the host country is aggressively Muslim, Bali is Hindu. The people are highly religious, with a system of rituals. Seven volcanoes are on the island, so there is something to pray about, other than the rice harvest. Family ties are crucial, and conformity to the norm is strongly encouraged.
The post is almost ready to be published. Yet another glance down the page reveals a space which needs to be filled. This is discovered after formatting the last eight beads of this post. This involves going through the paragraphs, adding bold letters to the first few words, and giving each section the correct color. The key to this is to remember that the beads that are divisible by three are always purple. When PG was formatting these beads, he got to number ninety, and discovered it was blue. That is how so many nit picky things work. If it is off by one, it is totally wrong. And usually, if there is a problem, it is off by one. Email addresses are like this. If you get one letter wrong, it will not work, and it usually is just one letter.
Bead 077 Miss Gilbert buys a bicycle, and rides to see Ketut. He is treating a baby for teething pain. The family gives him twenty five cents. Since the G-ds made him a healer, he is required to see anyone who comes by. The next patient is a bit wealthier, and brings a bountiful offering of fruits balanced in baskets above her head. Carmen Miranda is rolling with envy in her grave.
Find a grave is a website that does exactly what it says. It has a header ad for General Mills children cereals. Maybe they know the graves of serial killers. This is what they say about Carmen Miranda.
Maria do Carmo Miranda b. February 9, 1909 d. August 5, 1955 Renowned Actress, Dancer, and Singer. Born in Marco de Canavezes, Portugal, her family moved to Brazil when she was still a toddler. She was singing at her hatmaking job as a teenager when she was discovered by a local promoter.. … She died of a heart attack after performing a dance number on a Jimmy Durante TV show. Buried in Cemitério São João Batista, Botafogo, Rio de Janeiro, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Also buried there is her sister, Aurora Miranda. The most famous role for Aurora Miranda was “Disney Studio’s “The Three Caballeros.” She was Donald Duck’s dance partner in the Bahia sequence.”
Bead 078 Ketut Liyer tells Miss Gilbert his life story. He is the ninth generation of men to practice medicine. He wanted to be a painter, and rebelled. One night he was painting by an oil lamp, it blew up, and severely burned his arm. The doctors wanted to cut the arm off. He went home, and his family healers fixed his arm within ten days. After this, his father and grandfather told him he was required to practice medicine. He still paints, at three in the morning when no one is around.
Comment four of Top 10 Thought Catalog Comments For The Month Of April was a reaction to a lengthy copy about the horrors of commercial meat production. The winning comment was “You must be charming at dinner parties”.
Bead 079 Miss Gilbert finds a fabulous little house to live in. It costs less than she used to pay in New York for taxis. What do you mean privilege?
These facebook comments are referring to this story, Anderson Cooper To Rush Limbaugh: ‘You Might Try The Gym From Time To Time’ . Sorry to burst your (birthday) balloon. . .Cooper may have taken Limbaugh to task, but too bad no one was watching in order to hear it. Limbaugh has about 50 times more listeners than Cooper has viewers. // Limbaugh may have fifty times the ears that Cooper has. If you count the brain cells between those ears, they are probably even.// Ah, yes, Luther. . you libs are just so much smarter. I bow in your awesomeness.
Bead 080 Bali has a bloody history, that does not quite line up with it’s image as the place where policemen wear flowers. There is also corruption. This works out to the advantage of Miss Gilbert. She pays off the right person, and her visa is extended to four months.
When PG was a youngun, he worked summers at a golf course. One afternoon, a man missed a putt. He threw down his putter, and shouted “shit, piss, and corruption”. Chamblee 54 has used this story three times.
Bead 081 Ketut Liyer is not certain how old he is. When he feels good, it is younger. At other times, he is older. He was an adult when Japan invaded Bali in World War II. What he does know is that he was born on Thursday. Evidently, this is a big deal in the Balinese scheme of things.
PG suspects that he was born on a thursday, but was not sure. A trip to Google city, with a couple of detours, led to a site, What Day Of The Week. May 6, 1954 is the 126th day of the year 1954 in the Gregorian calendar. There are 239 days remaining until the end of this year. The day of the week is Thursday. A person born on this day will be 57 years old today. (Assuming this person is still alive and kicking) PG is alive, but with his right knee torn up, tries to avoid kicking.
Bead 082 The wife of Ketut Liyer, Nyomo, is very suspicious of Miss Gilbert. The two become buddies after Miss Gilbert takes the medical notebooks of the doctor to a printshop in town, and makes beautiful xerox copies of them.
PG looked at the clock. If he was going to eat, and join his friends at a downtown coffee shop in one hour, he needed to get moving. However, he was playing a musicplayer. The music was a piano player named Issac Shepard. A number called “Elation” was playing, and PG had become fond of the song. Dinner would have to wait another minute. The coffee drinkers are never on time anyway.
Bead 083 Yudhi is from Java, another island in the archipelago of Indonesia. He works for the lady whose house Miss Gilbert is renting, and has become her friend. The story of Yudhi (You-Day) is interesting, if just a touch unbelievable. He was working on a cruise ship, and wound up in New York. Yudhi did well, and married a lady named Ann. After 911, the authorities became suspicious of immigrants from Moslem countries, even those from Christian families. Yudhi was deported from the USA, and lives in Bali.
Eat, Pray, Love got 2821 reviews on amazon. 613 were one star. Some of the titles were Eat Pray Shove (It), Glib, narcissistic and lightweight, A ME-moir, not a memoir, Symptomatic Of The Downfall Of Western Civilization…, and Trite, Terrible, Vain. One negative review says things that are relevant to this bead.
On to India. At the Ashram, she learns to meditate and still broods over her lost marriage and subsequent realtionship. Probably the most boring part of the book, except for her conversations with “Richard from Texas” — a down home, larger than life character who speaks in folksy platitudes that would make Andy Griffith proud. He also bestows our author with her nickname “Groceries” because she was emaciated from grief from crying for the millionth time over her beloved David. As one reviewer from Amazon said, “What kind of nickname is Groceries?”
I honestly believe she made these people up. Reminds me of “Go Ask Alice” — supposedly the real story of the drug-addicted Anonymous — until it was revealed that the protagonist was a fictitious composite of the author’s psychiatric patients. Boo.
Bead 084 Ketut Liyer is teaching Miss Gilbert bits and pieces of what he knows. A person in Bali is guarded by four spirit brothers. They are named Ango Patih, Maragio Patih, Banus Patih, and Banus Patih Ragio. They represent intelligence, friendship, strength, and poetry.
These comments were made regarding 5 Legitimate Reasons To Not Celebrate Cinco De Mayo I halfway expected at least one of these to be “you’re not Mexican”. POST-RACIAL AMERICA FTW // It’s a pretty much manufactured holiday anyway. It celebrates defeating the French, which they didn’t really. // everyone beats the french, no need to celebrate.
Bead 085 Miss Gilbert is hit by a bus. The worst damage is a cut on her knee, which becomes infected. Ketut Liyer, for some reason, tells her to find another doctor. This turns out to be a turning point in the story of EPL.
There is a current story about Georgia politics. If Georgia political parties were a railroad, no insurance company would allow freight to be shipped on them. There is litigation involved in this story, so no links will be used. These comments are about this story. The self-immolation of the GA Democratic party is nearly complete. GOP Nirvana awaits. Yet spending is the same, my taxes are higher and metro traffic still sucks. But I can take comfort that poor people will have to pee in a cup before they get their scraps from the table and I can pack heat if I want to the next time I dine at Longhorns. // I don’t “beg” the “White Man” for s—. The “White man” knows that either he gets down with my program, or I will take my talents to his competition and crush him… or do my OWN thing…because I got it like that! By the way, I got a “BIG STICK” you can bite… but only after your old lady gets off of it. She’s working overtime. Amen?? // Another example of an African-American male who can’t keep his fists down or his zipper up. I’m pretty tired of that myself. Until the community holds such losers accountable for their actions expecting racism to ease up is pretty much pi$$ing in the wind.
Bead 086 The number 86 has a few meanings. In restaurant slang, it means you are out of an item. It is also a verb, meaning that a person has become personna non grata at an establishment. When PG worked at redo blue, he chose 86 as the speed dial for the cell phone of his stupidvisor.
In bead 86, Miss Gilbert meets Wayan Nuriyasih, a Balinese healer. The infected leg is healed in the time it takes to say Multivitamin Lunch Special. After healing, the girl talk begins.
There are three questions which Balinese like to ask. “Where are you going today? Where are you coming from? Are you married?” For a single person, the correct answer to number three is “not yet”. Under no circumstances do you admit to being divorced. So Miss Gilbert is tap dancing around her story, when Miss Nuriyasih admits to being divorced. Apparently this is a worse ordeal for a Balinese woman that almost anything imaginable, even marriage to a no good man.
The two women bond. It turns out Miss Nuriyasih is a talented healer, with a charming daughter. She is also stone broke, after paying the lawyer who got her custody of her daughter. Mother and daughter live in a small room in back of the place the healing takes place, which doubles as a snack bar. After lunch, Miss Nuriyasih examines Miss Gilbert’s good knee, and says she needs to have sex. The hormones from sex lubricate your knee joints.
Bead 087 Miss Gilbert settles into a routine. She spends her mornings with Wayan Nuriyasih, and her afternoons with Ketut Liyer. In the evening, she stays at her house, to drink tea in the garden and be happy.
One item stuck out from 97 Things You Didn’t Know About William S. Burroughs. 17. Burroughs graduated with a degree in English literature from Harvard University in 1936. He was known for keeping to himself, and spent most of his free time with a .32 revolver and his pet ferret.
In 1982, PG lived in an apartment once with three people, seven snakes, a cat, and a ferret. The ferret was named Tara, and was kept in the bathroom. PG got tired of closing the door behind the ferret, and complained. This led to his leaving the apartment. PG discussed the matter of living with a ferret with a friend, who said in horror, “thats a weasel”. Ferrets are not bad pets if you don’t have to close the bathroom door behind them.
Bead 088 There was another woman of the world at Miss Nuriyasih’s salon one morning. Armenia was from Brazil, used to work with refugees for the United Nations, and has some sort of business to do in Bali. She is going to a party that evening, hosted by another Brazilian, and invites Miss Gilbert. You probably know what is about to happen.
This was on facebook. Note to self: never again go through airport security on that day of the year when the moon is closest to the earth. A woman with yellow/gray braids in line in front of me in a wheelchair refused to crate her little dog. She made a ruckus. Her son or grandson told her to put the goddam dog in the bag. Suddenly she was miraculously cured of her immobility and ran out of the terminal. The TSA agents were preoccupied with another highly cantilevered woman perched on cha cha heels, with oiled tower of Babel hair, and palm trees and sunsets painted on her two inch nails. She kept expressing surprise at each verboten thing they fished out of her bag, like she was a contestant on a game show. I lingered to watch the pat down, like a train wreck, and for the agents, like a Lewis and Clark expedition.
Bead 089 After months of South Asian asceticism, the party was like falling off a wagon. Miss Gilbert got dressed up, in the one pretty dress she brought with her. She got drunk, and flirted with a few men. The host of the evening, Felipe, took her home at the end of the evening. He said you are going to enjoy yourself here. Miss Gilbert protested that she only had one pretty dress. Felipe replied “You’re young and beautiful darling. You only need the one dress”.
While producing this cycle, PG felt an obligation to listen to the TED talk given by Miss Gilbert. At the time, it had 3,608,721 Views. PG googled the phrase “3608721 views”. It was mostly phone numbers, the last seven digits being 3608721. PG remembers a time when seven digit phone numbers were exclusively used. Then people started to use modems, cell phones, and fax machines, and the number of phone numbers had an exponential increase. Now, it is universal (At least in Atlanta) to give people the ten digit phone number.
Bead 090 Miss Gilbert wakes up, hungover, after barely sleeping a wink. She feels old and out of practice, feeling that she has forgotten how to relate to men. Felipe is one pleasant thought among many, on this morning after.
The following is from the TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert: centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa, people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn. And they were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals and they were terrific, right? But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen, and one of these performers would actually become transcendent. And I know you know what I’m talking about, because I know you’ve all seen, at some point in your life, a performance like this. It was like time would stop, and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal and he wasn’t doing anything different than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before, but everything would align. And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human. He would be lit from within, and lit from below and all lit up on fire with divinity.
And when this happened, back then, people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name. They would put their hands together and they would start to chant, “Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God.” That’s God, you know. Curious historical footnote — when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them and the pronunciation changed over the centuries from “Allah, Allah, Allah,” to “Ole, ole, ole,” which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances. In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic, “Allah, ole, ole, Allah, magnificent, bravo,” incomprehensible, there it is — a glimpse of God. Which is great, because we need that.
PG wondered if the last part was true. He sent an email to a friend, who teaches Spanish at a local university. Here was the answer: There are a variety of explanations for the origins of the word olé in Spanish: from Arabic (from Wa-(a)llah, meaning “by God” or perhaps from a similar phonetic construction, iálla, meaning “let’s go”); from caló, a Gypsy dialect; even a now discounted theory that the word derives from Greek ololizin, meaning to shout with jubilation. The hypothesis about Arabic origins seems to be most accepted.
Parts one, two, three, and four of this series have were previously published.