Chamblee54

These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fucl), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. // And the road goes on forever…..RAGBRAI cyclist (fb) // Zion has rehearsal today and I am meeting someone new and feeling off and Arts Exchange tonight…… coffee then attitude adjustment, then I don’t know what… I have avoided writing because I’m feeling over optimistic and bitter at the same time. I have no idea what the fuck that sounds like? Not sure I want to know. I do know that off for me usually means write….. (fb) // “I don’t have secrets, just well-edited truths.” (fb) // #youknowwhatsannoying when you try and talk to someone and they are about as interesting as a table (tw) // “If you think you can’t make a difference, you are wrong. If you think you are too old or too young to make change happen, you are wrong. If you think that somebody else will do it first, you are wrong.” ~ Dan Pearce (fb) // The ulitmate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves its children–Dietrich Bonhoffer. (fb) // “The church was in the government and the government had always been rotton”–For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway-as the rebels tossed the priests over a cliff. (fb) // peace is what you get when you stop killing people. (fb) // We are saturated with lies. The lies we are told. And the lies we tell ourselves–Chris Hedges (fb) // Mr Roberts, of Lawrence Street, Brooklyn, who was fond of examining his revolver, did so for the last time yesterday. (tw) // Traffic on 34th Street was halted while a crowd looked, in vain, for Mrs Cornely’s nose, torn off when she fell down the station steps. (tw) // “you must write, and read, as if your life depended on it.” — adrienne rich // I’m a part of all that I’ve met. Yet all experience forms an arch through which gleams that untraveled world. Ulysses (fb) // Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’ Viktor Frankl (fb) // Without music, life would be a mistake. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche (fb) // BBQmySchlong:I love being kicked in the balls! I love having my penis roasted on a BBQ grill! I love drinking piss! I live in NY and can travel plus PAY you, if interested send an IM! PICS IN PROFILE! // I was just asked in a meeting, “Is it business critical to make this fannypack?” (fb) // “Kindness is a force that breaks open your heart even as it heals – and in that healing sets you free.” ~ Sharon Salzberg (fb) // Ok, I’m running a test to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching. Sing like nobody’s listening. Live like it’s Heaven on Earth. /// “I don’t consider myself an anthropologist so much as an animal behaviorist who specializes in humans.” “Yeah … you might not want to say that too often.” (fb) // Just had a very entertaining experience in corruption. A big burly Con Ed employee approached me as I was photographing dancers in Madison Square Park. He asked about my work as a photographer, made small talk and then asked if I did any “paparazzi” work because he moonlights as a bodyguard for celebrities and for a “percentage” he would text me who, where and when. (fb) // Had an MRI today for my sore neck. They gave me Valium because of my newly discovered claustrophobia from the first time I had one. That one was the longest half-hour in my life. Could NOT talk myself out of the irrational fear. It’s like being shoved into an orange juice can with your arms pinned at your side. But I was good and made no scene. Here’s how that first one went with mental dialog: Using the alphabet, come up with a name for a song title with each letter. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! (I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN YOUR EYES!) OK, undo the panic by counting each breath up to 100. DONE! (Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! OK, now count down from 100 with each breath. (Isn’t this half hour over YET? Don’t open your eyes! Don’t open your eyes!) Eyes opened anyway. SCREEEEECH! THIS TIME: Valium an hour before and a cloth over my eyes during the procedure. It was a breeze. Make a mental note for next time, if there is one. I’m not looking to enter any kind of drug addiction or the Whitney Houston diet, but DAMN. Valium and the cup of coffee afterwards has made for a perfect day. But I dare not start a painting. (fb) // Curiosities of medical language: VESICULOGRAPHY contains no repeated letters. PARASITOLOGICAL alternates vowels and consonants. HYDROXYZINE is the only word in the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition) that contains XYZ. BIOPSY is in alphabetical order. Each letter in ZOONOSIS is rotationally symmetrical in uppercase. Each letter in BERIBERI and INTESTINES appears twice. (fucl) // Kind woman in dark aquarium: do you have all your children accounted? We have an extra with us there. (tw) // Mommy, you have too many semicolons in your book. I don’t see why you need so many of them. (tw) // 7-yr-old: what is nymphomania? me: where did you see the word? 7yo: in a book. Me: which book? 7yo: yours. (tw) // Class is a thing that has a way of dissolving rapidly in alcohol. (tw) // ‘The motion-picture business is the only business in the world in which you can make all the mistakes there are and still make money.’ (tw) // Her voice was as cool as boarding-house soup (tw) // She began to sob in my arms. Women have so few defenses, but they certainly perform wonders with those they have. (tw) // “I liked you better when you used to…” Those who put their comfort above your progress are not your friends. (tw) // Merely because his surgeon, Dr Fischer, left two sponges in his abdomen, Jacob Weiss, of East 87th Street, is making a legal fuss. (tw) // The number of wealthy Dicks in Long Island increased after sugar magnate William Dick left his $20 million fortune to his children. (tw) // In the future, after our generation is forgotten and humanity has become civilized, people will be able to edit tweets after posting them. (tw) // NO SORRY, SANTORUM, YOU MUST CARRY YOUR DEAD PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TO FULL TERM.” (tw) // Stacey @nonpromqueen Mommy, Potty Mouth, Lactivist, Liberal-ish, Atheist, Dong Expert, Geek, Goon, News Junkie, Web Addict, Video Game Connoisseur. (tw) // The Circus… Fun for the whole family. Except the animals kept enslaved and abused there. This is Tyke, who in 1994 killed her trainer to escape and was shot 86 times by police. It took her two hours to die. So the next time someone tells you the animals like it there, remember this photo. (fb) // Trigger Warning: sexism, fat shaming, body shaming, misogyny, assumptive objectification, Really ya’ll, these attitudes are insipid and just darn dull. Also, the fat shame and shaming is unwelcome. (fb) // ”We’re taught to do things the right way. But to discover something other people haven’t, you need to do things the wrong way” ~ James Dyson // A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.” “How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “About a gallon.” (fb) // “Not only is no language ever free of troping; not only is facticity always saturated with metaphoricity; but also, any sustained account of the world is dense with storytelling. ‘Reality’ is not compromised by the pervasiveness of narrative; one gives up nothing, except the illusion of epistemological transcendence, by attending closely to stories. I am consumed with interest in the stories that inhabit us and that we inhabit; such inhabiting is finally what constitutes this ‘we’ among whom communication is to be possible.” (fb) // With a leap in front of the northbound local, Philip Joseph, of Heary Street, canceled his wedding plans. (tw) // Abdul Baha Abbas, teacher of the Bahai faith, arrived on the steamship Cedric. One of his peculiar beliefs is that women are equal to men. (tw) //

Death had been ignoring 82-year-old Mrs Levy, so she jumped from the fifth floor of the Ansonia Hotel and got his attention. (tw) // Harvey had an eventful trip on the Olympic. Swindled on the first day, he quarreled on the second, and drank himself to death on the third. (tw) // When the doctors have done all they can for Sting, I hope one of them raises a vial of morphine and murmurs, “O Sting, here is thy death…” (tw) // Envious of the White Star Line’s Titanic, which is on its maiden voyage, Cunard announced plans for Aquitania, which shall be even larger. (tw) // Shiva is the destroyer and the first thing on his list should be his hairdo, but who am I to argue with the divine? The river Ganges is supposed to spout from his hairstyle, so there’s more going on in Shiva’s topknot than just a chaotic updo achieved without a mirror during the first five minutes of yoga. ~Margaret Cho (fb) “Nothingness was a wind that inexplicably changed directions but ever and always conscious of its goals.” (fb) // Please repost this to your status if you’re constantly being asked to repost things to your status by friends who constantly repost things to their status. Many people won’t repost this, but my truly sarcastic, caring and intelligent friends will repost it because they know this was reposted from a dear friend in dire need of more stuff to repost; and if you don’t repost it, then this means you must hate Jesus, kittens, puppies, Tim Tebow and bacon. And if you hate bacon, the terrorists win. I bet 444% of you won’t repost this. (fb) // This comment has received too many negative votes // This is closer // Knocking someone for being “too gay” when the real problem is that you think they are too materialistic, superficial, or catty.. that’s not fair to people who are femme but are none of those things. And it is often ironic, because by criticizing someone before getting to know them, we are engaging in superficial catty behavior. “If you want a good friend, first be a good friend.” (fb) // May all beings be truly peaceful. May all beings be free from fear, stress and unnecessary suffering. (fb) // “That would make a good Facebook status!” (fb) // I’m having trouble curbing my anger in this email. (fb) // She sighed. “All men are the same.” “So are all women—after the first nine.” She damned me and hung up. (tw) // I finished my drink and got the thirsty look on my face again. She ignored it. (tw) // They always have a gun in the drawer and they always get it too late, if they get it at all. (tw) // Brought my umbrella yesterday. No rain. Forgot it today. Of course it’s raining. Sigh. (tw) // Very proud of myself: I’m still less than halfway through this box of thin mints, and I’ve had them open for weeks. Go me! (tw) // Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it’s always somebody else’s money he’s adding up. (tw) //Oh you’re vegan, that’s cool but I practice true cruelty free living, BREATHARIANISM. I live off the nutrients of air then die after 1 month (tw) // he said something like ‘sorry if i’m being a shithead. am i being a shithead’ and i wish i could have yelled ‘YES OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!! (tw) // “If happiness always depends on something expected in the future, we are chasing a will-o’-the-wisp that ever eludes our grasp, until the future, and ourselves, vanish into the abyss.” ~ Alan Watts (fb) // Why do we constantly talk about non violence and then call people bitches on our facebook? (fb) // I’ve said it before: people talk a lot of crap and are too lazy to do their research. And then when presented with irrefutable evidence about matters of fact, apparently, they simply say “I disagree” so they can welch on their bets. The only mystery is why I am surprised. (fb) // NOTICE: Contents of web site may settle during downloading. Pages are sold by weight, not by volume. // I’m perpetuating a test…to see who’s reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about how we met. Only one word please. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don’t just post a word and not copy – that’s not as much fun. (fb) // Such an interesting day on facebook. when I first logged in I saw an obituary posted by a friend in memory of his feline companion. I opted to respond to a friend request first before digging into the full obit, but when I returned to the news feed page I got this simple message: There are no more posts to show right now. I imagine I will find more on facebook through my groups and friend feeds. Such an interesting experience. (fb) // To the guy at the Cheveron, who tried to sell me a bag of weed, as I was at the counter paying for my gas…. What the phuck is your problem? (fb) // Poetry is my crutch and comfort. Girls are scary. (fb) // So, I went to three events tonight. Two completely social, one poetry showed her face what I learned, I cannot do the club thing anymore for real! I gravitate to folks I know which defeats the mf purpose. Everyone else is so fucking young. I may have to come to terms with, I might have to be alone for a while……Marinating on that one…ugh (fb) // Commenters get banned when they spam our comments section with inanities and slogans or if they establish a consistent track record of bringing nothing to the discussion beyond rude treatment of others. Insults are fine, as long as you’re making a point. But if insults and expletives are all you have, find another cocktail party. // “Neo-cons stink of necrosis and flee from the thought of peace like a Victorian spinster from a penis.” (fb) // The mideast is like the black-white thing on steroids. (fb) // I’m seeking the understanding necessary to be a great storyteller and the wisdom to know the stories worth telling. This is my intention. (fb) // So, you are going to use my page to promote your page and then announce how you are going to delete me after you used my fucking page….ok, weird, but ok…so how about I delete your ass first , you fucking recongnize and get over your damn self….. FOR REAL? MOTHERPHUCK , for real….. (fb) // That depends if you’re a functional distinctionist and if you think all things should be compartmentalized neatly into their place (which you conveniently invent and then pretend like it is proper only when you find things where you leave them), or if you recognize that distinctions/differences are a historical byproducts and you should do a geneaology to recover why on earth you think you need a separate room to shower or poop in the first place. Water supply doesn’t explain walls. In fact the only thing that I can think of that would explain the walls is puritanical fear of nudity aka prudence. (fb) // may all ancient hatreds become a present love–A Course In Miracles. (fb) // As the human soul matures, we are confronted with moments that force us to let go of yet another thin veil of self-delusion. The moral high ground, sinks into a thicket of gray. // Register for FREE to access our online magazine articles. This one-time registration takes only a FEW seconds. Continue to enjoy free subscriptions to email newsletters, SojoMail, articles and more great features. // If you aren’t a fan of Jon Luc Pickard (Patrick Stewart), this might make you ask yourself why not?……….“Our house was small, and when you grow up with domestic violence in a confined space you learn to gauge, very precisely, the temperature of situations. I knew exactly when the shouting was done and a hand was about to be raised – I also knew exactly when to insert a small body between the fist and her face, a skill no child should ever have to learn. Curiously, I never felt fear for myself and he never struck me, an odd moral imposition that would not allow him to strike a child. The situation was barely tolerable: I witnessed terrible things, which I knew were wrong, but there was nowhere to go for help. Worse, there were those who condoned the abuse. I heard police or ambulance men, standing in our house, say, “She must have provoked him,” or, “Mrs Stewart, it takes two to make a fight.” They had no idea. The truth is my mother did nothing to deserve the violence she endured. She did not provoke my father, and even if she had, violence is an unacceptable way of dealing with conflict. Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.” Patrick Stewart (fb) // Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence. -Vermont Proverb // Mrs Esther Galarzo, wife of a Brooklyn cigar dealer, and E.J. Davis, the negro she eloped with, were caught in Atlantic City and jailed. (tw) // At West 44th Street, while explaining to her husband that she wanted a club sandwich, Mrs Cohen shot herself in the shoulder. (tw) // “Has a playground for little kids as well as big kids.” // I am traveling with perhaps the worst procrastinators alive. We are STILL at the hostel, despite having prepped to leave hours ago. This means we’ll now be biking 4 hours in the dark and setting up camp at Tulum in the middle of the night. How absurd! (fb) // Selah