Chamblee54

This tasteful collection is courtesy of TwentyTwoWords. The question that started it all was “What jokes or quips do you never tire of hearing or telling?.

Why did the cow cross the road ?The chicken was on vacation.
knock knock /who’s there?/ boo /boo who?/Don’t cry it’s only a joke…
It’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.
A man walks up to a horse and says, “Why the long face?”
two pretzels were walking down the street. one was a salted.
As a friend said the other night,/ “He who laughs last thinks slowest.”
That’s what she said.
“Raise your hand if you’re here.”
Two nuns walk into a bar; the third one ducks.
Q: What did the radio say when it was dropped?/A: “Ow. That hertz.”
I know a lot of musicians but i am not one… nor will i ever be. but i love responding to “And what do you Play?” with “the Radio”
What did the ranch say to the refrigerator door? “Close the door, I’m dressing”
Why don’t blind people skydive?/ It scares the heck out of their dogs…
what did the fish say when it ran into a wall?/ dam.
“I see.” said the blind man as he peed into the wind… “It’s all coming back to me now.”
“Working hard or hardly working?”
What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when it hits the windshield?/Its butt.
You can tuna guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?/They both have wheels… except the duck.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?/DUNGGGGG.
When the phone rings:/ Every time i hear that thing it’s ringing!
What’s brown and sticky?/ A stick
When people ask the mortician what he does for a living, he says he is a “boxer”.
What did the shy pebble say?/I wish I was a little boulder! .