Chamblee54

PG was abandoning the periods in his name once and for all. It was just too much trouble, and besides it implied that PG stood for something. After all, the S in Harry S Truman did not stand for anything. Harry S Truman was a fine President who only started one war.
PG knew one thing for sure, he was tired of serious subjects. There is just too much seriousness in the world. Besides, Sears had merged with K Mart, and closed that fabulous outlet store on Buford Hiway.
PG started collecting jokes, and other things that caught his eye. One of them was a blond joke, courtesy of yellowdoggrannie.
A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb. blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blond and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blond, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy thinks a moment and says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
The event which put the peroxide in the bottle for this post involved an inactive blog. Now, there are supposedly a hundred million or so blogs in existence. Of those, maybe a hundred are actively posting. The rest go into nogoblogland. One of these inert bandwidth vampires is Jokesandhumoronline. And sure enough, in their farewell post, they had a blond joke.

The Blond Bird Lover
You were the sexy blond woman at the Marina Safeway last night at about 6:30. Well, I guess technically you entered the store at 6:27 and left at 6:48 (I like detective shows). I was the guy in the poultry section who kept lifting the frozen chickens out of the freezer, holding them above my head, screaming ?be free? and then dropping them on the ground. A few weeks ago, I saw a story on Dateline about a boy who had fallen through the ice and been declared dead when his nearly frozen body was pulled from the lake, only to be resuscitated minutes later. You can see where this is going; we know the chickens are frozen, but are they really dead? My role here may seem purely humanitarian, but it?s also practical. Who wants to buy a chicken, take it home and then realize they suddenly have a new pet? Anyway, I could tell by the way you were looking at me that you liked the cut of my jib. If you remember, I asked you your name and you said “I. Carrie Mace.” Cool name. Kind of like the architect, I.M. Pei, I guess. But you left so suddenly, I couldn?t get your number. Coffee?

So Carrie White married a man named Mace. PG hopes they are happy together.
Back when PG was working at Redo Blue, there was a memo from management. It seems that people were writing unhelpful emails on company computers. The thoughtful management issued a list of subjects that were not appropriate for emails from company computers. Along with race, religion, and national origin, employees were not to send emails about hair color.
When PG was a child, his mother told him about a song. The lyrics fascinated PG for years, until he found them online. He also found out that this song sometimes was about Gladys, but usually was about Alice.

Alice, where are you going? “Upstairs to take a bath.”
Alice, with legs like toothpicks and a neck like a gira-a-a-a-afe.
Alice, into the bathtub, pulled out the plug and then.
OH MY Goodness, OH MY SOUL,
there goes Alice down that hole. Alice, where are you going?
Glub, Glub, Glub.
Last but not least, there is this heartwarming tale. This was sent out as an email, and did not mention hair color.
A TRUE SOUTHERN LADY………..A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, ‘Please don’t jump, think of your dear mother and father.’ ‘Mom and Dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.’ ‘Well, think of your wife and children.’ ‘I’m not married and I don’t have any kids.’ ‘Well, think of Robert E. Lee.’ ”Who’s Robert E. Lee?” ”Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee..