Discharge Status
Rumor has it that these were found in medical files. It was on facebook, so it must be true.
– The patient refused autopsy.
– The patient has no previous history of suicides.
– Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
– Patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
– Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
– On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
– The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
– The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
– Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
– Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
– Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
– She is numb from her toes down.
– While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
– The skin was moist and dry.
– Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
– Patient was alert and unresponsive.
– Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
– She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
– I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
– Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circu sized.
– The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
– Skin: somewhat pale but present
– Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities










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